Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. All characters, places, descriptions, etc (unless original and created by me) belong to her.
Summary: It was a small pack, of course, just the five of them, but together they were something wild. Hermione finds herself in the Marauders' Era with four new best friends.
A/N: You guys - omg. I just outlined the rest of the story and... We're looking at roughly 121 chapters. *hides face* I've got so much planned. I really hope you all stick around to read it until the end. I promise it'll be worth it.
Also I love how everyone was so concerned about where Regulus was. He's not in this chapter, but he'll be back soon.
Chapter 33: Mea Culpa*
"Hermione," Sirius' voice was soft as his breath ghosted over Hermione's nose. "If there's anything you need…"
The levee broke.
Hermione crushed herself to Sirius, taking his lips in a searing kiss. Her tears smeared across his cheeks as she clung to him like a lifeline. Sirius stiffened for a single moment before moving his fallen hands to grasp Hermione's waist, closing the distance between the two even more. For a few moments, it seemed as if Hermione and Sirius were pouring their very souls into each other.
But the blood in Hermione's veins continued to boil. And the kiss that had begun so desperate, so sweet, became bruising and determined. Hermione's fingers snaked down to tug at the bottom of Sirius' jumper. Sirius moved ever so slightly to allow the witch before him to pull the offending garment over his head. In return, he spun Hermione around so her back hit the stone wall. Somewhere in Hermione's mind a small voice noted she might have a small bruise in the morning, but the noise was quickly overpowered by the airy breaths coming from Hermione's mouth as Sirius attacked her neck.
"Padfoot?"
At the sound of Remus' voice, Hermione pushed away Sirius, who just barely caught the gold receding from her eyes. Hermione and Sirius' eyes widened at the same time before they glanced toward to portrait to the Gryffindor common room. The two canines fell silent as they focused on the footprints of their friend. Remus hadn't yet made it to the Fat Lady, but he was close.
Before Remus could pull a breath to call for Sirius again, Hermione had dipped under Sirius' arm and sprinted through the portrait hole, leaving Sirius alone with ruffled hair, pink cheeks, and a faint scent of lavender.
Sirius was still standing in the hallway unmoved when Remus emerged from behind the portrait. He took a look at Sirius, narrowed his eyes, and motioned for Sirius to follow him into the common room.
"What just happened?" Remus had pushed Sirius toward a pair of chairs near the dying fire, but Sirius had yet to sit down. His eyes finally cleared at the sound of Remus' voice.
"Huh?"
"What just happened, Padfoot?"
"Uh," Sirius just stared at Remus. "I don't know?"
"You don't know?" Remus raised an eyebrow as Sirius shook his head. "You don't know why Hermione just ran through here like a boggart was chasing her?"
Sirius sighed and sat down in the chair across from Remus. As he moved his hand up to run his fingers through his hair, he could feel the heat coming off from his flushed face. He glanced at Remus, hoping the werewolf couldn't see the ghosting of blush on his cheeks or the slight swell of his lips. Thankfully the werewolf was experiencing his own pre-moon pains, and as much as Remus was trying to be a concerned friend, he was severely struggling to keep his eyes open. Sirius rose to his feet and grabbed Remus' arm, hoisting him up.
"We can worry about Pup tomorrow," he shuffled them toward the stairs to their dorm. "You look like hell, Moony."
"Have you looked in the mirror today, Pads?"
"I look damn good and you know it."
Remus scoffed out a laugh as he and Sirius disappeared behind their door.
22 January 1978
Seventh Year Girls Dormitory
When Hermione woke up she noticed two things. First, her head was throbbing. But it wasn't just her head. Her entire body pulsated with a throbbing pain. Second, something close by smelled really good. Hermione's tongue darted out to wet her lips and she froze. No, not a smell. A taste. Like whiskey, honey and… wild blackberries. Hermione groaned and refused to open her eyes even as the memory of her encounter with Sirius taunted her in her mind.
"Hermione?" Lily stood at the edge of Hermione's bed, her fingers fiddling with the fraying edge of her jumper. "Hermione, are you okay?"
Another groan emanated from the depths of her pillows. Lily chuckled.
"I'll take that as a no." She opened the curtains to Hermione's bed and sat down next to her. "Can I do anything?"
Hermione shuffled under her blankets to look at Lily, although really all she wanted to do was hide her face forever.
"I don't know what's happening."
Lily started to rub Hermione's back in sympathy. "Is it pre-moon stuff?" Hermione nodded. "I thought Regulus was supposed to help with that." Hermione closed her eyes, but Lily could still see tears wetting her eyelashes.
"He didn't show yesterday."
The two sat in silence for a moment.
"What does that mean? Are you okay?"
"I don't know." Hermione shuffled again to sit up, bringing herself level with Lily. "I think she's mad."
"Who?"
"My inner wolf," Hermione chuckled darkly. "Merlin, that sounds strange to say out loud. I think she's upset with me. It's been a rough couple of months what with Christmas away from Hogwarts. She's unsettled. And now with Regulus not showing… I think she's taking it out on me."
"That's awful!"
Hermione just nodded. She feared if she opened her mouth again she'd tell Lily everything that happened. Images and feelings flitted across Hermione's brain, bringing a flush to her face.
"It looks like you're heating up, too." Lily jumped to her feet. "Don't worry, Hermione. You stay and rest, and I'll tell the boys to let you be."
Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Lily just shushed her gently before moving away and closing the curtains of Hermione's bed behind her.
Hermione, though, had no reservations against staying in bed all day—a thought that would have shocked her if she wasn't so tired and sore. She only wanted to beg Lily to stay so that she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts, specifically her thoughts of one grey-eyed Marauder.
Her inner wolf was definitely upset with her. Hermione was still very much a young werewolf, having experienced only four full moons, the last of which she had spent in a different place than the one previous. And now her pre-moon schedule had been disrupted.
Despite the ache in the depths of her bones and the fatigue that gripped her, Hermione couldn't bring herself to blame her lycanthropy. She understood the disorientation. She herself was disoriented. And thinking back to the night before, she remembered her inner wolf struggling to gain control in order to ebb the pain.
And ebb it she did… if only for a few moments.
Even alone in her bed, Hermione blushed from the embarrassment of her actions. She had attacked Sirius, and worse still, she wasn't fully convinced that she hadn't enjoyed it. She closed her eyes remembering the feel of his lips against hers and his hands at her waist, the strength of his chest under her palms and the drumming of his heart. Hermione's eyes snapped back open and she turned over on her side to groan into her pillow.
And it wasn't just a simple kiss like before. Oh no, she had properly snogged Sirius. Sirius Black, for Merlin's sake. Her best friend's godfather. What would Harry say?
She missed Harry. She missed Ron. She missed her time. Despite its obvious faults—being on the run for one—she had been comfortable. She had known how things worked. She hadn't needed to worry about making friends or navigating her increased instincts or acting on stirrings in her stomach that weren't exactly unpleasant. Moving a hand to her shoulder, Hermione traced the scar her Remus had left her, the only link she had to her home, her time, her people.
Sirius was at a loss. He watched his feet as he paced circles at the bottom of the stairs. With every noise from the rooms above, Sirius's eyes snapped up, but each time when no one appeared he sighed and began to pace again. Finally, however, a figure appeared at the top of the stairs and a shadow fell across Sirius' feet.
"Sirius?"
Sirius looked up at Lily and tried to hide the disappointment in his eyes with a playful smile.
"Morning, Lilly," Sirius bowed and winked. "Is Hermione awake?"
"Poor thing isn't feeling well today," Lily shook her head. Sirius missed the knowing look in her eyes as she watched him for his reaction. "I think she's come down with whatever was bothering Remus yesterday."
To his credit Sirius had been keeping Remus' secret for years and his poker face was quite practiced. Yes, his poker face regarding Remus' lycanthropy was more than convincing, but his poker face regarding Hermione…
"Oh, so is she not coming to breakfast?" Sirius tried his hardest to sound nonchalant. Lily smiled.
"No, is Remus?"
"No."
The two stood awkwardly in the empty common room for a second.
"Want to go find James?" Sirius' playful smirk fell back into its usual place. Lily laughed and reached for his arm to lead him to the Great Hall.
Hermione couldn't fall asleep, and not for lack of trying. She tried counting sheep, counting dragons. She tried slowing her breathing. She tried piling her pillows together. She tried no pillows. She tried reading Hogwarts: A History. Hell, she even tried translating Hogwarts: A History. But despite the obvious exhaustion in her limbs and bones, Hermione could not calm her brain down.
But staying in bed meant she didn't have to face the embarrassment that was sure to ensue if she were to encounter Sirius. Hermione was petrified by the chance that she would attack him again. So yes, staying in the dormitory was good, but it also meant that she had nothing to think about all day except for the embarrassment of her encounter with Sirius yesterday.
Hermione cast a quick tempus and, satisfied that her fellow students would be right in the middle of lunch, slipped from her bed. She padded across the room and out of the door, pausing to peek into the common room for stragglers. Seeing none, Hermione made her way down the stairs and then back up toward the boys' dormitories.
"Remus?" Hermione whispered as she slipped into the room. "Remus, are you awake?"
Remus groaned in response from under his blankets. Hermione smiled and crossed the room to sit on his bed.
"Remus, can I talk to you about something?"
Remus groaned inwardly. He cared about Hermione, obviously, but honestly, the last thing he wanted to do today was anything but sleep. He was used to his friends trying to bother him before the full moon though so he turned over to face Hermione, confident he could get her to leave him alone. And yet, seeing the look on her face sent a wave of worry coursing through his veins. Remus sat up immediately, making room for Hermione to lay beside him despite his protesting limbs.
"Sit," he groaned out. Hermione obliged with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She looked worried. "You can talk to me about anything."
"I know, but," she paused. "This seems different."
"If something's bothering you, you should always bring it to the attention of a professor." Remus bumped her shoulder. "And it just so happens that Professor Lupin is now available to see students."
Hermione sighed and rested her head on Remus' shoulder. She still wasn't convinced she was making the right choice.
"If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad or weird about it?"
"I promise." Hermione felt his body vibrate with a light chuckle.
"No, Remus, you have to really promise because you're going to want to be mad or weird or I don't even know."
"Okay, I solemnly swear that I, Remus John Lupin, will try my hardest not to be mad or weird or whatever."
Hermione nodded against Remus but didn't speak immediately. Gathering her thoughts, she sighed and pursed her lips together.
"Sirius and I kissed, well snogged rather."
Remus' eyes snapped wide open and he looked down at Hermione. A million thoughts ran through his mind, but the most prominent ones were leaning towards what the shit.
"Voluntarily?" Remus tried to joke. Hermione winced.
"Sort of…" Remus' face hardened and Hermione saw the concern and anger flash in his eyes. "No, no Remus, not like that. I kissed him. Well actually Pup kissed him."
Remus didn't say anything. Hermione chuckled awkwardly and tried to fill the silence.
"Not so much kiss as attack really. It was all a bit sudden, but suddenly I was against the wall and his jumper was coming off and then you called from inside–"
"Stop, stop, I really don't want all the details." Remus clenched his eyes shut. Hermione blushed.
"Sorry."
The pair sat side by side in silence for a few minutes, hearts beating in their ears.
"I'm not really sure what you want me to say."
"I'm not really sure I know what I want you to say."
After a moment, Remus slowly lifted him arm to put in around Hermione's shoulders, drawing her closer. Hermione let her head rest on Remus' chest and let the gentle beat of his heart soothe her racing mind. She could already feel her pulse slowing to match his steady thrum.
"Okay, let's just take this slow, okay?" Remus spoke slowly and softly. "Who kissed Sirius?"
"Remus, please don't make me say it again."
"No wait, this is a valid question." Remus shifted a bit under Hermione. "Did you kiss him or did Pup?"
"Oh." Hermione thought on it for a moment. "I mean it was me but not me at the same time. I remember kissing him and I was present in the moment, but it was like I had no control over my actions."
"Okay, so Pup kissed Sirius." Remus spoke so calmly that Hermione began to picture the older werewolf speaking to her in his professor voice. It made her smile. "Next question. Why did Pup kiss Sirius?"
"Regulus never showed yesterday. I waited and waited, but he just never came. And I was so angry and–," Hermione paused. "It was a break in the program. The past moon was… unsettling."
"Okay, so you were on edge and not in complete control." Remus felt Hermione nod against his chest. He took a deep breath and watched as she rose and fell with him. "But why did Pup kiss Sirius?"
Hermione didn't respond. She was quiet so long that Remus opened his mouth to repeat the questions.
"Her–"
"Don't."
More silence. Hermione closed her eyes and took a breath.
"Can I stay here? For a little while? I just want to sleep and I won't bother you anymore. It hurts and I just—I don't think I could make it back to my bed."
"Hermione –"
"Please, Remus," Hermione looked up at him with big round eyes. Remus felt a swell of protectiveness building in his chest. "Let's just sleep, okay?"
"Okay, Hermione."
Hermione was fast asleep against Remus, her lips slightly parted and her curls splayed across his arm. Remus, on the other hand, was wide-awake. He wanted to be annoyed with Hermione. He'd just wanted to sleep the pain away after all. But something inside of him refused to let him be upset with her. Something inside of him was softly urging him to find Sirius and throttle him for causing her distress. He didn't understand it, this fierce protectiveness, and frankly it scared him a little. But he still felt it.
So Remus sat by Hermione's side awake and alert as the hours ticked by. A million thoughts flicked through his head preventing the same peaceful sleep that Hermione had already succumbed to. It wasn't until just after dinnertime that Remus dared wake the sleeping werewolf in his bed.
He nudged Hermione awake, telling her dinner was almost over. The imminence of Sirius' return to the dormitory was enough to get her out of bed and out the door. Remus walked her all the way to the bottom of her stairs with a comforting hand at the small of her waist.
"Remus?" Hermione turned to look at Remus. The two were alone in the common room save a trio of second years by the fire.
"Yes, Pup?"
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
Hermione started up the stairs but halfway up turned around again.
"Remus?" Remus smiled softly from his spot at the bottom of the stairs.
"Yes, Pup?"
"Please don't talk to Sirius about this." Remus chuckled.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
As Hermione disappeared up the stairs, Remus sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He turned to trudge back to his bed, cursing under his breath.
"Well, this is a bloody mess."
A/N: *My Fault