Chapter 85: De Modicitate Lunae*

28 April 1980

The British Rescue Centre

It's days later when Hermione decided she couldn't put off talking to John any longer, finding him in the little vegetable garden off the side of the house. She was slow in her approach. It was a delicate subject after all.

"You know, don't you?" She'd been careful to check that no one else was outside. "About Remus?"

John patted at newly laid soil and paused. "Yes." He didn't meet her eye yet. "Don't usually deal with many Alphas, if any, and I can't pretend to know the ins-and-outs of what that relationship entails, but I can tell it's there."

Hermione knelt on the ground beside him, hands twisted in her lap. "And Red?"

"I'm sure you could tell when you first met." John looked at her, eyebrow raised. "He's not met many before. Didn't realize what Remus was until after you'd talked."

Hermione nodded, watching John's face for clues to what he was thinking. "You all haven't mentioned anything."

"Neither have you." John shrugged and turned back to the earth. "When I tell you I've seen it all, I don't say it lightly. We may not have Alphas stay with us, but I've met my fair share in my time. It's—I realize it's a difficult subject. People become Alphas for all different reasons, some good, some bad. With the two of you, I can tell there's genuine care there."

"He doesn't know." She blurted it before she could convince herself to stay silent.

John froze and looked at her then. "How?"

"Does it matter?" Hermione sighed and sunk her hands into the dirt, needing to ground herself. "I was careless and in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't mean to do it, of course, and he doesn't know that he did. Remus, he—I'm sure you can tell we have different views on what it means to be a werewolf. He hates that part of himself." She started to tear up. "I don't think he'll ever accept that he's not a monster. The-the worst thing in the world to him is the danger he poses to others. If he knew he'd bitten someone, if he knew he'd bitten me… I just—It's better this way."

"And you think this is something you can keep from him forever."

"If I can."

John shook his head, turning from Hermione as he wiped his hands on a faded blue rag. "I don't like it. Not a bit." Her heartrate spiked, but John shook his head. "But, I'm not going to rat you out. I'm not in the business of spilling people's secrets, you understand."

"Thank you."

"But the second this endangers one of my charges—"

"No, of course—"

"—since I'm guessing the only reason you're bringing this up now is because you all want to stay for the moon?"

Hermione looked up at John. "He wants to, yes."

"We don't turn away strays, my dear. Never have, never will." He gave her a smile based in a lifetime of understanding before looking up at the house. "Is he going to be a problem once we turn?"

"He shouldn't be." She thought for a second and winced. "We have some experience with animagi, but in all honesty, we've never turned around other wolves before. I-I can't make any promises. But he's not inherently violent, I swear. He's can just get a bit protective over me."

John offered her another smile. "Already knew that."

Hermione managed a weak one in return. "He's comfortable around you all and there's plenty of space. And the others don't seem to be territorial or aggressive. Except, er, Callum? You haven't let him around much. Is that because of Remus?"

"Callum's wolf is young, but he's also just about as young as you all. I remember that age, ruled by your emotions and instincts."

"We're not teenagers." Hermione blushed.

John looked her over. "No, you're worse. Because you're older and stronger and you linger in your emotions, let them fester. Besides, I didn't know how long you all would stay and I didn't want Callum getting any ideas in his head."

"But there's still a chance that under the moon—"

John shook his head. "Callum's been choosing to change in the cellar. He wanted a more controlled area for his first couple of moons. You don't need to worry about him."

"The cellar?"

"Just a cellar. No chains or cages." John rose to his feet, a hand out to Hermione. "I heard about the last wolves you all met. You won't find any of that stuff here. I can promise you that."

"Thank you." Hermione let John pull her up.

"He worries about you just as much as you worry about him, you know?"

"I know." They walked in silence back up to the house. Hermione paused before the stairs to the landing. "Thank you, John, for everything. Thank you."

John shrugged. "The turning bite is personal. I'm not one to press for a story before it's ready to be shared, but it's a good thing you told me when you did. If Remus had been the one to ask to stay for the moon, I'd have been frank with him." He paused in his steps and leveled Hermione will a serious stare. "I'm not going to lie to the boy, if it comes up. He's got a responsibility and a burden he doesn't even know he's carrying. The truth will come out some day, but I won't be the one to outright tell him. You've got my word on that."

Hermione could only nod.

They made their way back inside to find Remus and Red in the kitchen, clearly in the middle of a serious discussion as they turned to face Hermione and John.

Red kept his gaze on Remus. "Seems we need to have a bit of a talk, John."

Remus nodded at Hermione briefly before looking between Red and John. "Hermione and I have something quite serious to discuss with you if we could have a moment of your time."

John threw the old blue rag he'd used in the garden into the sink and sighed. "Alright. Let's a least go sit down. My knees aren't what they used to be these days."

While Red led the way into the living room, Hermione pulled Remus' arm. Eyebrows furrowed, she searched his eyes for an answer. Remus just nodded again and kept walking. John sat on one of the sofas, one eye on Red as he paced behind him. Hermione and Remus took the chairs opposite. Remus leaned forward, focused on John.

"I assume you all are aware of the rising threat of You-Know-Who."

"Yes," John nodded at Remus. "We've been aware for some time now."

"Right, well." Remus' gaze darted to Hermione and back. "Red didn't run into us by accident, John. We came here looking for you."

"They're with the Ministry, John." Red leaned over the back of the sofa. "Got the drop on us from your fucking file."

"No," Hermione interrupted. "I swear, we are not with the Ministry."

"We were sent by Albus Dumbledore," Remus said. Hermione winced.

"Oh great, now Hogwarts is in on this, too."

"Red, sit down." John leaned forward. "Tell me what you have to say, son."

Remus nodded, eyes tracking Red as he sprawled himself across an armchair. "Professor Dumbledore's not working with the Ministry, though there are some employees who've joined our side. It's the Ministry that's been tracking you, not us, but that's how we knew where to find you."

John shook his head. "It's no surprise to me that the Ministry knows where we are. They helped set this place up after all. I wouldn't be surprised at all if there were records of it. If you've got Ministry workers with an in, we'd not be hard to find. But why exactly did Dumbledore send you to find us?"

"To ask you to join us, sir." Remus steeled his jaw and raised his chin. "To fight the darkness that's threatening our society."

Red huffed. Hermione winced again.

"I see." John turned to Hermione, a question on his face.

She sighed, choosing her words carefully. "Concern has been raised that werewolves will align with You-Know-Who. We've—Well, I don't know if Dumbledore really expects us to bring in allies or just try to dissuade people from joining the Death Eaters." She ignored Remus' stiffening beside her. "We're fighting this. We've chosen it, but we can't expect you to do the same. We're only asking that you consider helping us. We don't mean to intrude on your lives or this-this home you've created."

"Don't mean to intrude—"

"Red, please." John shook his head and steepled his hands against his lips. He thought for a moment before speaking. "You have to understand, this home we've created is mostly here because of luck. The payout, the land, the wards? I was lucky. The aurors could have just as well locked me away in Azkaban and fed the key to a dementor. Their confusion and panic with the situation is the only reason I'm here right now, and I have taken great pains not to ruin this second life I've been given."

Red sat up straight in his chair and opened his mouth as if to speak, but John held up his hand.

"The safest way for new wolves to gain control of themselves is to learn from other wolves. That's what we're here to do, to provide a safe, welcoming environment for new wolves. And it's worked. We are able to help wolves from all over, and do you know why that is?"

Remus clenched his jaw. "But You-Know-Who threatens all of us, he—"

"Son, we are able to do what we do because we are trusted. Large packs, small packs, lone wolves, for lack of a better term, all of them trust us because we just want to help. No matter the circumstances." He looked between Hermione and Remus.

"And choosing a side could risk that trust."

"Exactly." John nodded solemnly at Hermione. "I'm sorry truly. You must know that we are no friend of You-Know-Who or his followers, but—" He looked at Red. "There are too few people willing to help werewolves, to see beyond the bite, beyond the stigma."

Remus' jaw ticked. "But the threat of You-Know-Who is bigger than all that. We-we all need to make sacrifices to fight the rising darkness."

John sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid when it comes to this struggle, we'll not be joining the fight."

"We understand." Hermione looked at Remus. "Right?"

Remus forced a stony smile. "Of course. We know it's a lot to ask, and we know what you're doing here is important. I—" He sighed and shook his head. "I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if I'd had something like this when I'd turned."

John nodded, holding Remus' gaze for a moment. Then he stood and held out his hand. "You're still welcome here as long as you'd like. For the moon, too."

"Thank you, sir." Remus took John's hand and shook it.

John grunted and headed for the door. Hermione and Red rose to their feet and joined Remus.

"Sorry 'bout jumping down your throat." Red clapped Remus rough on the back. "But between you and me, I'd fight like hell if anything or anyone came to take down John."

Remus nodded, still regarding Red with a wary eye. "No problem at all." He glanced to Hermione and headed out of the room.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect that conversation today." Red turned, smirking at Hermione. "You two keep things interesting, don't you?"

"Seems like it, doesn't it."

"So you're staying for the moon, little wolf?"

"Planning on it." Hermione smiled wistfully. "This place is amazing. A safe place for werewolves, it's-it's really remarkable."

"Sounds like you're tempted to stay."

"In another life, but no, I—" She looked toward the door after Remus. "We have to keep moving, keep trying to find allies."

"Any idea where you're off to next?"

"No idea." She turned back to Red. "You all were our last solid lead. We know of other rumored packs, but they're travelling packs, so kind of hard to pin down."

Red leaned against the doorway and ran his hand through his hair. "We've had contact with a few lately, for what it's worth. Could give you a nudge in the right direction."

"Honestly, anything would be helpful at this point."

Red nodded. "There's a small pack of nomads that are heading out toward the northern coast of Wales."

"Really?"

"They tend to have a solid base in numbers, but—" Red tisked. "I wouldn't exactly count on them if you're looking for upstanding wolves to join your cause. They've got a rather loose handle on the wolf. Their main form of precaution is thoughts and prayer, if you get what I'm sayin'. They tend to get picked up by the aurors every so often. Not exactly who I'd trust if I was looking for people not likely to stab me in the back at first chance."

"Right, so back to where we started then."

"Not so fast, little wolf. There's another pack. In Scotland. Got an owl from them a bit ago. It might help you find your way."

"And they can be trusted?" Hermione asked. Red raised an eyebrow. "Would you trust them?"

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Not really my speed though, are they? Following the old ways and all."

"The old ways? Werewolves have old ways?"

Red chuckled. "Everyone's got old ways, little wolf. But yes, this pack's been around for ages and they tend to be a bit traditional. Not sure where their loyalties lie, but they're strong. No doubt a worthy ally to have."

"Do you think they'd help us?"

"Honestly, no." Red pushed off the wall and nudged into Hermione's shoulder. "But could be worth the ask."

The Black Adder Inn

"Fuck." Remus fell back against his bed. "I'm beginning to think we're on a fool's errand, Pup."

Hermione laid down beside him. "We're asking a lot. We knew it wasn't likely people would join us. I don't think Dumbledore truly expects us to come back with loads of allies to join the cause."

Remus closed his eyes. "Expects? Maybe not, but he's counting on us to try."

Hermione was quiet for a moment. "Red told me about another pack."

"Of course he did."

"They're in Scotland. He says they've got numbers and-and they're strong."

"Then we go there." Remus sat up. "And we keep trying. We'll leave after the moon."

"Right. After the moon."

30 April 1980

The British Rescue Centre

It didn't start so much as grow, like erosion leading to the sudden collapse of a cliffside. Remus' stomach turned first, the roiling anticipation of pain and loss of control. Bile rose in his throat and his nose stung. He clenched his jaw, careful not to bite his tongue. He fisted his hands at his side, careful to keep his thumb laid over his knuckles. He kept his joints bent and tried against instinct not to pull his muscles taut. The pain ever present in his veins, his bones, in every muscle of his being, it all started to throb. A familiar throb, welcome in the strangest way that each pulse of pain promised the briefest momentary whisper of relief.

Remus averted his eyes from the sky even as his head twisted against his will, but he was not afraid. Pain was no longer something that scared him. It had become his constant companion after the choice that had been made for him. He'd accepted that long ago.

Beside him, Hermione's change filtered through his sense, her stifled moans coming through like sound under water, but he loudest noise in his head was the sound of his pain. His skin was set aflame, and he was aware of each and every pore as fur pushed through to break the skin. His back zippered open as his spine realigned, the vertebrae bumping into each other like nails on a chalkboard. The change was almost complete, the pain almost over, but therein laid the fear. Remus' mind clung onto the pain, scrambling for a foothold in his being to prepare for the coming struggle.

But, like a moth to the flame, Moony rose inevitable from his chains and the shackles that bound him in the back of Remus' mind. He pulled loose like he just simply had somewhere else to be. Because in fact, he did. The moon was calling. Pup was here. And he was free.

5 May 1980

The British Rescue Centre

The morning after the full moon hung awkward, like the stark light of day after a drunken confession. The residents of the Rescue Centre moved around the house like the parts of an ornamental clock, constantly in motion, touching and passing, completely in sync, but for Remus and Hermione, the familiarity faded into long pauses, shifting feet and too many apologies. They felt exposed and raw and overindulged. For the first time, Remus caught a whiff of what Hermione felt all too often. They weren't supposed to be here. This wasn't for them. It was time for them to leave.

For their part, Red and John were gracious, protesting just the right amount to save Remus and Hermione the embarrassment at their over stay. Still, they stayed a few more days after the moon, enough to visit the nearby town with Red and gather some supplies. John tracked down the letter from the Scottish pack and got them the name of a forest. They left their own letter, too. The Rescue Centre didn't have owls of their own, but Red promised to take it to the closest owl office the next time he went out that way. The message was short, too brief and too impersonal, but they didn't want to risk anything. They just wanted Sirius to know they were okay.

A month down and no allies gained. Hermione was homesick. Remus was stressed. They'd run the course on the actionable information from Dumbledore, and though they hadn't recruited any help, they'd at least known where to look. Now they were truly on their own.

Chapter Title Translation: *Of the Moon's Temperance