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Chapter Ten: Even Castles Must Burn
It was Robb's direwolf that found me, still crumpled into an exhausted heap in the crook of a tree trunk. Slowly, the wind picked at the periwinkle petals clustered together at the base of every trunk, each cluster dripping into the clearing with a weed-like persistence.
"Has your master sent you?" I whispered, not turning as the giant beast loped through the trees, it's head lowered, eyes intent on me. I should have felt hunted. Instead I felt...nothing. I blinked. Hadn't I longed to feel just that since I was young? Now… somehow that was worse than the sadness.
My eyes tore from the bundle of buds that were blooming, opening rapidly as they reached for the sun. Was I a monster? Did this abnormality make me some kind of… I shivered, staring into the striking amber of Grey Wind's eyes. Slowly my eyes moved down the muscled shoulders to the thick claws that dug into the soil beneath his paws. The crows had told us of the way that those claws had shredded through the Lannisters. My eyes drifted to the soft muzzle, closed over the razor teeth that I knew were concealed just beneath. While his master had eaten the hearts, they said that Grey Wind had torn them out, delivering them in heaps at Robb's feet.
"No," I murmured, blinking against the stark image, my mouth suddenly dry. Brows furrowed, I turned my head to the sky, watching as the clouds rolled over the sun. "Robb has too many things to think of to worry about his wayward wife."
I kept my hands firmly to myself as Grey Wind tipped his head down, his eyes burning as they studied me. There was an intelligence there that matched his behemoth size. He would be taller than me on his hind legs, corded with muscle with a jaw that could tear a grown man in half. In fact, the crows had given that exact news. Involuntarily, I jerked as a loud thump and a cloud of dirt signaled that the direwolf had plopped himself to sit opposite me.
"Have you ever heard the tale of the little girl and the rabbit?" Why was I talking? More importantly, why was I talking to a direwolf by the Seven? "Well, in a small, inconsequential village there was a little girl. Her mama and papa all knew that she would grow to be a great beauty. As did the butcher, the huntsman, the blacksmith and all the little boys who chased her around with mud and taunts. Her mama and papa were neither poor nor rich and saw great profit in giving the little girl everything she desired, sure that their gifts would keep the rosy glow to her cheeks and the secretive tilt to her lips."
Grey Wind's ears had flattened, his eyes widening as if he was suddenly aware that his presence would encourage me to continue speaking. I looked at him sidelong.
"Soon, even the little girl knew of her own beauty - although as fate always has it, she was the last to find out. Every day she would look into her vanity and stare and stare. Eventually she went to her mother and asked her: Mama, why does my hair look like the fleece of that rabbit that papa brought home last night? The people of her village had been warned against hunting the rabbits in the wood but still every once and a while her papa would bring one home. Her mama replied with a laugh. Why because you are beautiful, my love! Can you believe that?" I snorted, sudden indignant tears jumping to my eyes. "One day, her mama continued. You will see. You will see what this whole village sees. And although the little girl could not yet fully see it, she nodded and went back to her vanity."
Grey Wind's eyes were now darting around the clearing, almost begrudgingly. "Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into years and eventually the little girl wasn't so little anymore. Every day she would look into her vanity mirror and she would whisper, though my hair is soft as rabbit fleece and my skin the color of moonlight dew, I still will search for something in life that is just as beautiful as you. And she would clasp a hand to her chest."
I snorted. "Yes, Grey Wind. She was just as beautiful inside as she was outside. And eventually a prince -" I scoffed, spitting out the next word like it was make believe. "Prince - came to the village and met the little girl who wasn't so little anymore. He wooed her with roses as white as the strands of her hair, crystals the same blue as her eyes and eventually - in his adare he slew a hundred rabbits and skinned them for their pelts, lining the walls of her room with their furs.
"I have given you everything, the prince declared, winded and tired from his long hunt in the deep, dark of the forest that the girl lived in. Every plant, every animal, every single drop of moonlight does not compare to your beauty, my princess - for surely, you are as ethereal as any princess that I have beheld. Will you not take me to be your husband?"
I picked at the blades of grass, prickling my fingers. There was something calming in the act of speaking the old tale. Something that made all of… this seem bearable.
"Who was she to say no? On their wedding day, she fashioned a dress from the pelts of those hundred rabbits and everyone cooed over her beauty as she made her way down the aisle." I paused, my brows furrowing as I recalled the way that my Septs had routinely stopped at this part. "Suddenly-" Grey Wind's ears perked at the sudden softening of my voice, his eyes deep and sad like he understood something beneath the base words of what I was saying. "Suddenly, a crone dressed in the moss of the forest stood at the back of the church. My children, she whispered. My children… Grass began to grow along the walls, webbing out from where she stood. Water leaked from her eyes but it was not tears like any that a mortal would cry. With it was the echo of rain showers hitting the canopy of trees and puddling in rocks, filling streams that fed lakes that fed rivers.
"You wear my children like a coat, the crone wailed, her words shuddering through the crowd and into the very heart of the girl who felt very little indeed. Beside her, the prince cowered. There bodies forsaken and rotting while their skin - their beautiful skin sits atop your mortal flesh."
At this Grey Wind whimpered, the sound deep and rumbling.
"I have no more children, the crone whispered, shaking. Jarred the little girl begged, feeling the sorrow of the crone for she was just as beautiful inside as she was outside. Right? No, the crone whispered suddenly stilling. No, you do not for you are but a pretty little girl playing at the sympathy of a woman. But you will.
"Roots and vines began to grow all along the church, sending all the patrons screaming as the very foundation cracked. Rain poured from the ceiling, moss growing in every crack and crevice. And when everything stilled the prince was clutching a white rabbit to his chest. And where the crone stood was a thicket of wildflowers."
All around me, the forest had seemed to go silent. Grey Wind had stopped fidgeting, his eyes intently on me. But I had no more to say. Slowly, bones creaking, I unfolded myself from the base of the tree and stood, dusting off the dirt from my dress. I didn't speak a word as I silently made my way through the tangle of roots back to the outskirts of the camp which was methodically being dismantled. It was a warm kind of bustled, accompanied with the yells of men. Warily, I rubbed a finger along my temples.
"You know that that wolf tore a million men into dog bits on the battlefield when the war raged." I glanced to my left at the gruff voice, masking the deep roll of unease that went through me with a bored sort of politeness. It was a beefy man with a full salt and pepper beard, his clothes suggesting at an advisor more than a soldier.
I absolutely despised men that tried to scare full grown women like they were wee children.
I let a savage smile loose, watching as the laughter drained from his face. "Ah. So that's why we get along so well."
I took a risk by turning my back to him, straightening my spine until my stomach gave a gurgle of protest. Dropping the smile, I prayed desperately that Grey Wind followed behind me as I made my way slowly through the quickly decomposing camp. Already, more than half the tents had been brought down and packed away. Most of the people still left in the camp were lower level squires and servants. Foot soldiers who either scampered away from the sight of me or groveled as I made my way past.
A cluster of horses caught my attention, the party obviously of importance by the lingering of servants at a callable distance.
"What do you mean you haven't seen her?" I blinked at the vicious growl, skirting around the muzzle of a horse and bursting unceremoniously into the midst of a very exclusive party.
"My Queen," a dozen voices murmured, sinking into a variety of bows. And at the center… I drew in a quick breath at the storm that rolled over Robb's face, his eyes flashing as they caught mine.
"Rise," I whispered, barely getting the words out before Robb's hand was enclosing around my elbow, dragging me from the circle of his advisors and a safe distance away.
"Where were you?" he growled, his voice low but thunderous as he stared down at me. Bitterness spiked through me, a childish voice piping up in retaliation. He didn't get to act all high and mighty when - when he was still in love with another woman. Spiteful anger ran through me, completely irrational and more than a little bit unwarranted.
"I am not your dog," I hissed, shoving at his chest which only caused him to crowd me more, his bulk looming all around me as he leaned in closer. "I will not come running at your every little whistle."
"No, my love," he snarled and I blinked, struck dumb for a moment at his words. "I could never make the almighty Willa Frey of the Twins answer to my call. I would never lower myself to such a ludicrous fairy tale. What I would count on would be your common sense - that quick wit that I know is smart enough to understand that when a Queen goes missing for a full hour, people will talk."
I blinked, swallowing my own words as I spluttered. I honestly hadn't realized that I had been gone for an hour. It had felt like only a moment or two. But there was no way that I could tell him what had been happening. My hands clenched, a sickening dread rolling through me as I pictured the mask of disgust that would shudder down on his face if I told him what had happened. I blinked quickly. What I was slowly realizing I was.
Suddenly, Robb's hand slammed into the tree behind me, errant curls falling into his eyes as he stared down at me.
"Tell me you weren't in those woods with anyone," he whispered. Those words hit me squarely in the stomach, knocking all of the wind out of my lungs.
"Wh-what?" I breathed, blinking up into his stormy eyes, his brows furrowing further as his frown deepened. "Are you - are you being serious?"
"Were you?" The way that he said it seemed more like a dare than a question. Something inside of me blew up, like his words were all I needed to spark the fuse that was attached to my short barrier of decorum.
"Oh, yes, my husband," I purred, my whole body seeming to compress in on itself like a snake that was coiling to get more distance before it sprang. My eyes narrowed in on his face as I poked a finger harshly into his chest, his eyes snapping to that, lighting with barely contained fury. "You caught me. I was just traipsing off with one of the many eligible gentleman around. Want to make a game of it? Was it the bulbous grandfather who feeds the horses or one of the scared little boys taking down the tents? GUESS! OR PERHAPS! Perhaps I'm such a vindictive, little viper that I took to bed your very own ward."
A low growl rolled from the depths of Robb, his teeth flashing as he leaned in closer, his nose brushing against mine. "Don't bring things into this conversation that you don't want to deal with."
"How dare you?!" I whispered, shoving at his chest only to get him hovering over me closer. "How dare you make it seem-"
"Like you had been missing from the camp for an hour with no one that knew where you were?"
That was it!
"Who's Talisa?" I blinked. He blinked. Why had I said that? I meant to say - Something. Anything but that.
He looked like he had had the very breath knocked from him. A deep sort of sadness entered his eyes, his hand abruptly dropping from it's place above my head as he took a step back.
"How do you know who that is?"
Pain lashed through my chest, momentarily silencing me with it's viciousness. It was worse hearing it like that. Like a dirty little secret that he didn't want me to know. I squared my shoulders, blinking down at the ground for a moment before I forced my gaze to his again. He wasn't mine. He was a man and he could have his own secrets. He wasn't mine at all.
"Don't pretend like this union is anything more than a way for you to ensure your war as well as your line," I said, taking a step away from him.
I didn't want to say anymore. I didn't even want to look at him any longer. Keeping my gaze firmly on the bark of a nearby tree, I dipped into a curtsy. "Your Grace."
Would he let me walk away? Was it worse that I so desperately wanted him to stop me? Firmly, I lifted my skirts, stepping around the muck of the horses and making my way to the middle of the entourage.
"You've angered, Robb." Theon swaggered into my path, his arms lightly folded across his chest and that same, self-satisfied smirk on his lips. There was a seriousness to his gaze that seemed to bely that though when they flicked to just over my shoulder.
By the tingling heat that was still sizzling along my neck, I knew that Robb was still there. My heart gave an irrational squeeze at the thought, my whole body rebelling against the way that I could sense his very presence. Just one moment where I couldn't sense that man would be a blessing.
Theon's grin grew as his eyes snapped back to mine and he swiftly bent into a bow, his hand firmly clasping mine and dragging it to his lips. I resisted the urge to snarl as his eyes drifted back up to blink up at me from below his lashes. "My Queen."
"I grow tired of your games, Lord Greyjoy," I growled, yanking my hand from his grasp and stepping around him. Did he think that his flirtations were anything other than an irritation? It was a form of fooley that I wasn't willing to indulge him in.
"Ah, but they are fun aren't they?" He mused and I was remiss to hear him trampling along behind me as I tried desperately to find my mare from the day before among the long line gathered on the outskirts of the camp. It seems that the squires had rounded them all up and put them in their proper spot. "Robb hasn't been speaking to me much as of late and this is surely a way to open up the channels once more."
"I can't even imagine why anyone would want to avoid your company," I snipped, examining a golden mare that's coat almost seemed to sparkle in the sunlight.
"A mystery," Theon agreed and I sneered as I almost bumped into him in my haste to continue on with the search for my horse. "That was Lord Nyse's mare. You might want to recall his name."
"I'm sorry?" I stopped, seething as I whipped around to glare up at him. "What exactly are you trying to imply?"
Many a man had tried to control a woman by surrounding them with baudy, little pawns. I would not be a chess piece, caged to the back of the board.
Slowly, Theon's hands raised in mock surrender but that smirk was still there. "No implications, my lady. I was merely suggesting-"
"Let me make myself abundantly clear, Lord Theon Greyjoy," I whispered, drawing nearer so that I could be sure that my words would only be heard by him. "I do not require your assistance in the department of friendship or alliances. When I decide to build up my court, you will neither be an advisor nor privy to those decisions." I moved even closer, noting the slight intake of breath as I made sure that these last words effectively made it to his brain. "When I say that I am the Queen, I mean that the members of my court will not be faudered about like prized pigs for the slaughter. I mean, that if need be, my lambs will rip the wolves at the gate apart and leave the carcasses to rot while my husband sits secure. What I mean is that if a single person steps above his own aspirations in search of a crown, I'll quietly show him one six feet under my throne." I pulled back, blinking sweetly up at him. My eyes narrowed as I saw his adam's apple bob. "Do we understand each other?"
His smirk was gone.
"Lady Stark." I turned, done with the conversation to catch Catelyn dip into a deep curtsy, her striking eyes flicking between Theon and myself. Her eyes hardened on me as she seemed to force a smile. "I heard that you had quite the excursion this morning."
I resisted the urge to groan, already tired from the unwelcome conversation ahead. A mother with a wounded son was never an easy obstacle to overcome. Still, I stepped forward to join her as she seemed to search out her own horse as well.
"May I suggest something?" I blinked, glancing sidelong at Catelyn as I registered the hesitance in her voice. But that didn't seem to be what I should judge the conversation on. If anything, the blaze beneath the facade of calm in her eyes made a certain degree of dread pump through my veins. She didn't wait for me to answer. "I learned a long time ago that sometimes what something looks like isn't what it actually is. The world doesn't come in one shade. So when I see the rain it isn't just the rain, it's the crops and the rivers and the water that we drink and bathe in." She gave me a tentative smile. "But your world is. As of this moment, there are only two ways that this world works. And all of them depend on the image that you present. So what something looks to be will always be what it truly is." Her hand reached out to squeeze mine, her smile falling as she stared intently into my eyes. "It doesn't matter what the explanation is anymore. It only matters how it looks."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying desperately to force down the wave of shame. I had been selfish and ignorant to assume that I was still the girl that was able to wander off wherever she pleased. I was not at home. I was not even a girl anymore.
She gave me one final squeeze before nodding silently to a great beast chewing at the grass at his hooves before leaving me to join her own animal. I stewed. That was the best word for it. I stood and stared at the corded muscles in my mare's back, trying desperately to right the topsy turvy mess that my life had become. And the bald shame that threatened me. I wanted it to be easy. I wanted someone to tell me that Robb was an ass and that he was still in love with this Talisa and that he was using me. Having it put so simply would have made it so much easier to digest.
But I supposed that it was the exact reason that it wasn't simple and that made my lips twist, my hands tremble as they grasped at the harness and I hefted myself into the saddle.
I wanted all the mixed confusing emotions to untangle and for there to be some sort of calm that I could grasp onto. But at the moment, it felt like even the forest had walls and that they were pressing down on me with each step that my horse made following steadily along behind the rest of the procession.
"Halt!" someone up ahead bellowed and my horse gave a tiny whiny of protest as I yanked at the reigns a bit too harshly. The distant sound of hooves beating along soiled reached my ears along with the almost instant reply of swords scraping free from their leather confines.
Even the forest seemed to tense as the rider drew closer. My mind narrowed down, working quickly. If it was an ambush than they were fools. With so many men and women, they would be outnumbered. The rider broke free of the line of the trees, swerving wildly.
"READY! AT YOUR POSTS!" Something inside of me seized in panic. They weren't going to try and stop him first? A tangle of unkept hair whipped in the wind and I gasped, watching as the head of the rider tipped back, revealing wide green eyes and full lips. A girl. Just a little girl.
Everything went slower, the strain of bows being drawn almost too loud as I whipped around, a cry catching in my throat. She was just a girl. The soldier beside me, strained, his brows drawing and lips tightening as I reached for him - Trying - What was I trying?
"FIRE!"
Fire.
I screamed, the volume seeming suddenly to turn from a five to a ten. Everything was on fire and I was - I was falling, my horse giving a terrible scream of its own as she bucked, tossing me from her back as if I was nothing more than a sack filled with clothes.
I hit the ground hard, wheezing as air left my lunges in one great whoosh. Mud. Dirt. I coughed, still trying to draw in a solid breath even as my lunges and ribs refused to cooperate. Painfully I rolled, blinking around as another burst of pure fire and destruction from my right sent my whole body careening. I felt like a ragdoll being tossed about on a giant chess board.
Star burst across my vision, a painful ringing filling my ears as I struggled to my knees, fighting against the urge to vomit. Across from me, the man who I had reached for was sitting slumped beneath the torn carcasses of his horse.
"Sir." Was I speaking? I couldn't - I forced down the panic as I struggled toward him, my hands connecting with the meat of his hands. But no. I jerked away, gasping at the blank stare of his eyes, the giant piece of his side that was missing, the blood and intestines spilling onto the forest floor beneath him.
"WILLA!" Robb. I struggled to turn, tears pricking my vision as I searched desperately for him.
But all I could see was the mass of men and women - their legs running this way and that and the fire - encroaching on all sides with its blinding smoke. A whimper rolled from somewhere deep inside of me. Weak, a voice in the back of my brain seethed.
And then there was just one set of legs, thick as tree trunks, clad in shabby, ripped trousers tucked into sturdy leather boots.
"You're nothing but a bit of a lass." I flinched, my eyes snapping to meet the hungry depths of the man's eyes. They were bottomless, a scar running jaggedly from his shaved scalp to his jaw in a wicked gash that pulled the skin from his eye back and away. He crouched and I resisted the urge to flinch away as his eyes roamed freely along my chest.
My mind suddenly snapped back into itself, something wicked and quick coming together. There had been too many men and women for an ambush to be anything but a fool's errand. A suicide mission. But a calculated ambush with so many men and women would cause chaos. And that kind of mayhem could only work in favor of one sort of plan. A plan that specifically targeted one person in an entire entourage.
A quick as a snake, a big meating hand curled into my hair yanking my head so violently to the left that my whole body followed swiftly behind. With a yell, I snapped out, my fists trying desperately to connect with any part of this man as tears of pain blinded me.
"Feisty little thing," I heard the man chuckle and then quickly regretted not running while I had the chance as he went down heavily on the ground with me. I let out a choked cry as pain burst through me, gagging on air as his knee drove heavily into my side. I gagged again, as I felt something crunch. He had used all of his momentum of the fall to come down on my ribs. "I just want this to be easy, lass."
Almost gently, his hand came up to stroke along the side of my face. I gave a snarl, lashing out wildly again even as my ribs screamed in protest. I wanted to rip his eyes out and feed them to Grey Wind. Roughly, his meaty paws grappled my hands into one, forcing them above my head.
"Scum," I spat.
In an instant, a blade was out, the tip held lightly against the skin of my neck. "I suppose that if anyone knew what scum was, a Frey would."
I hissed bringing my knee up to jab quickly into his side, causing him to momentarily bring his hand away from my neck. Right within biting distance. My teeth sunk into the delicate skin of his wrist, sending a howl ripping from his lips. Desperately, he released my hands.
My moment of silent victory was quickly sizzled out as his fist connected with my face, sending my brain into a momentary blackout before all of my senses registered pure pain.
"Little bitch!" I flaled wildly, all my senses going into overdrive as his hands pressed down on my windpipe. No. I choked, spitting up as his full weight came down on me. Desperately, my hands searched out, grasping at the grass. Knife. His knife. Tears blurred my vision as his hands tightened even more. I didn't want to die like this. Not beneath this sweaty brute while he forced all the air from me.
Something cold hit my fingers and my hands seized on it. My lunges throbbed, as I gasped. Desperately, I forced every bit of energy into my arm as I swung, arching the knife until it sawed into the depths of his throat. Above me a faint gurgle, bubbled up, the man's fingers loosening as he pressed at the blade embedded in the meat of his throat.
I spluttered, twisting out from under him as I gasped, trying to draw as much air into my burning lunges as possible.
"WILLA!" There weren't many things that I thought I would find more grateful than the sight of Grey Wind bounding through the smoke, his eyes vicious and his snout covered in blood. His side brushed against mine as he passed, a wicked snarl ripping through the air before there was a series of gurgled screams and tearing wet flesh. I didn't turn to see the act, staring into the blaze of smoke and fire.
I could hear the distant cry of men and women now. And the whimper of people who had felt the full impact of each keg exploding.
"Willa." Ah. The one thing that I was so much more grateful to see than Grey Wind.
I blinked up, watching as the imposing figure of Robb sprang through the blaze, his sword drawn and a group of soldiers and advisors hot on his heels. His eyes instantly lit on me, flicking around in that attentive way of his. I caught the darkening there as they darted to the area just behind me, surely catching on the man that Grey Wind was currently turning into ground beef.
Smoothly, he crouched before me, his hands coming forward to cup the side of my face. I shut my eyes, breathing in the tang of blood and metal and sweat and death that still coated him. Somehow that was the thing that broke me. That was the thing that made all of it come crashing down. Would Robb always have this scent to him? Would he always wear it like a second skin?
I sobbed, barely aware of Robb as he shushed me, his sword thumping to the ground beside us as he drew me closer. I cried thinking about the battles that he had endured - one after the other, so relentless. I cried because those battles weren't over and I never knew when they would be. And I also cried because the little girl who had lived quietly in her towers couldn't live there anymore. Being a Stark didn't mean that there was a middle ground that could be traveled. It didn't mean that every skirmish could be avoided by a slick tongue and a ready deal. It meant that steel and secrets spoke louder than anything.
"The lot have been run off, My Lord." I was cradled against Robbs chest, rolled into him like a child, clutching at the front of his cloak. The blood smeared into his chest had seeped into my skin and clothes. Even that I didn't entirely seem to care about. "An ambush attack." The burly man speaking to Robb paused, his eyes flicking quickly to me before he cleared his throat. "They attacked the middle of the procession, using riders at the front and back to draw our attention away-"
"Away from the Queen," he finished, deathly calm hardening his eyes. Slowly, the man nodded. "The whole purpose was to distract long enough to kill her."
"Yes, My King."
"We need to move as far away as possible in a different direction." Catelyn burst from the forest to our left at that moment, looking frazzled. "The Vale is close."
At this, Catelyn froze, her eyes going wide for a moment. "Robb, we can't possibly-"
"It is summer and closer than Winterfell at the moment-"
"With mountains that are far from hospitable in any season-"
"How many are wounded or dead?" His voice was cutting, leaving the men around in silence. "Our food supply was hit. We are now completely exposed to any further attacks."
I let out a cry, hoarse and broken as Robb shifted, my ribs exploding in a cacophony of pain. Robb's eyes instantly snapped to me, his hands steadying me as I tried to readjust, gasping.
"Leave us," Robb whispered, his eyes never leaving me. There was a moment of silence before anyone moved, the group fanning out a distance with their backs to us. Grey Wind had positioned himself protectively at our back.
"He -" I coughed, whimpering as that small action seemed to cause another wave of pain. My voice was hoarse, my throat sore as I tried to find the words. "He landed on my ribs." I whined softly as Robb's hands grasped gently at my sides, his eyes softening at the sound.
"We have to get you to the Vale," he whispered, his eyes darkening dangerously as they caught on the bruises becoming more visible around my neck.
"The mountains-"
"A risk. But returning to our original route will be too much of a danger to the remainder of the party." A curl slipped to his brow and for once I saw his eyes close, his expression growing wary.
"Then we will go to the Vale," I whispered hoarsely after a long pause.
Briefly, his eyes opened to hold my gaze, a unexpected gratitude there that bowled me into silence for a moment. I forced a smile. "Don't worry about me, My King."
The striking grey of his eyes softened to swirling silver, his brows drawing up as he leaned forward. Gently, his nose nestled into the hair just beneath my ear.
"I've worried for you since the night you saved my life."
Can I tell ya'll what I really appreciate? A strong female lead. I am so grateful that more and more novels are coming out with those decisive, independent ladies. Can I get an amen for all those Dangerous Queens that we've been seeing? Long live girl power.