It's in the walls

by MatthosSeaworth5

Jaune was given some generic advice upon moving into his new home for the first. Always check the stove, make sure you lock up properly, turn off lights you aren't using to save on electric, so on and so forth. None of them told him how to deal with a strange, unexpected housemate who lived in his walls and didn't pay rent. Now if only he could find his dang hoodie...

3. A Forced Cordial Dinner Invitation

When Jaune came to, it was to a freezing chill washing over him and his body shivering from the cold. He was splayed across his trusted armchair, a blanket wrapped over him in what seemed like someone's best attempt to cocoon him and with something heavy resting on his lap.

He groaned, not feeling any feeling in his legs, and he rubbed his eyes tiredly, mind vaguely conjuring up what had happened not too long ago.

Weiss…some sort of tentacle thing…red eyes and sharp teeth…a half-naked catgirl…

His eyes widened slowly. There was a half naked catgirl sat on his lap.

And she was wearing his missing hoodie.

"Hello there." The girl smiled nervously. "It is good that you are awake. I was starting to get worried."

"R-Right." Jaune stammered, years of discipline at the hands of Juniper Arc and his seven sisters ensuring his eyes stayed at eye level, though it helped her eyes were so enrapturing, a strange shade of amber he hadn't seen on someone before. They were pretty. "Who are you again?"

"I'm…" The girl frowned. "I don't have a name, but I'm your housemate. I live here."

"I don't remember that being part of the lease." Jaune replied, and the girl cocked her head.

"I was living here before you did." The girl said. "I only started to really realise after you moved in. I've been…learning a lot over the past few days. You've taught me a lot about humans, so thank you."

"A-Are you not human?" Jaune asked, eyes darting to the cat ears on her head. Of course she isn't you idiot!

"I don't think so." The girl murmured, waving at something behind her. "Humans haven't been known to do that after all."

Jaune blinked at the sight of a waving wall of tentacles, smooth and hairless and the colour of a midnight sky. They looked corded, as if despite their relatively harmless appearance there was a massive amount of muscle hidden behind the smooth, jet black…skin? He wasn't sure.

Then he followed the tendrils to his hoodie, and he realised they were coming out from her back.

"Oh okay." Jaune mumbled. "That's cool."

His head lolled back and a frightened cry of his name echoed in his ears.

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"Wha…What happened?"

"You passed out again." Answered the cat-eared, tentacle girl still perched on his lap. She looked guilty. "I apologise if I frightened you. This must be a lot to take in."

"Yeah…" Jaune mumbled, eyes trailing over to the broken window. "What…What happened earlier?"

"I was in the attic, but I smelt something dangerous so I came downstairs." The girl explained. "That leech was going to suck you dry, so I attacked it and saved you. You never invited it into our home properly, so once I threw it outside it could not come back in."

"Leech?" Jaune paused, thinking for a moment. "You mean Weiss? What…What…"

Red eyes…sharp fangs…a heady scent and hypnotic eyes…

"Ohhh…"

"Oh indeed." The girl nodded, poking his chest with a small frown on her face. "You were almost eaten by a vampire mister."

"Ha." Jaune said, eyes wide and feeling his brain melt once again. "That's just swell. And normal. Vampires…oh gods vampires exist!"

"Among other things I imagine." The girl mused, nodding her head at her tentacles. "I'm not quite sure what I am."

"Do you…Are you hungry?" Jaune asked fearfully and the girl smirked at him.

"Not for you fortunately." The girl answered, calming his fear of being some other creature of the night's dinner. "Though I am a little hungry. Fighting off that vampire took a lot more energy out of me than I thought."

"What do you eat?" Jaune asked, and the girl hummed.

"Whatever you do." She shrugged. "I don't leave the house. The light hurts, so I eat what you eat."

"Okay?" Jaune mumbled, eyes widening suddenly. "You've been eating my food! And you stole my hoodie! And…Were you watching me in the shower?!"

"I was just curious!" The girl protested, holding his hoodie closely as if she feared he'd drag it off of her. "I have no other clothes, I ate all the rats and mice and spiders and I didn't know where you put your Scroll so I had to watch you whilst you bathed or I'd get bored!"

"You've snooped on my phone as well?!" Jaune yelled, frowning at his saviour. "What the heck!"

"I needed to learn things, I was curious!" The girl protested. "Besides, I wouldn't have known to try and look like this if I hadn't gone on your Scroll and saw those videos you like to watch!"

"What…What videos?" Jaune asked nervously, eyes widening in horror and face paling with fear.

"Catgirl and her MILF mom gets special delivery from-"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Jaune yelled, smashing his hands against his ears. "Lalalalala!"

"You asked!" The girl protested as he unplugged his eyes, huffing as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'll forgive you for the whole squatting in my house thing if you forget everything you've seen without my permission on my stuff, okay?" Jaune sighed, holding out a hand for her to shake. She took it and shook it eagerly, a bright smile on her face. "I think we've started off on the wrong foot. Hi, the name's Jaune Arc. It's short, sweet and rolls of the tongue and-"

"The ladies love it." The girl finished, making him blink in surprise. "I'm…I don't have a name, but it's nice to meet you still. Properly meet you that is."

"Do…Do you want me to give you a name?" Jaune asked tentatively, seeing a sadness in her eyes that quickly changed to joy, and she smiled widely before nodding eagerly. "Uh…Right. How…How about…I don't know. You have black hair and tentacles and stuff…uhm…Blake, like black but Blake?"

"Very well." The girl, now Blake, nodded in agreement. "I am Blake, and it is nice to meet you Jaune."

"Yeah, likewise." Jaune replied, closing his eyes before sighing. "So…Is that what you look like? Cat Girl with tentacles?"

"My body has been developing over the past few days." Blake answered. "I could show you what I look like without some of the disguising things I feel like I'm doing subconsciously."

"Huh?" Jaune asked, and Blake shrugged.

"It's like breathing. I'm just doing it." She paused, biting her lip nervously. "Do you want me to do it?"

"Might as well." Jaune shrugged. "We'd be able to figure out what you are if we see your 'true form' so to speak."

Blake nodded, sliding off his lap elegantly before standing in front of him awkwardly. She held up her arms, and her skin seemed to shimmer in a strange, crystalline-like glow.

"Ta-da!" Blake crowed, and Jaune blinked as nothing happened, the only difference being her shining skin, like it was dotted in glimmering little gems.

Then his eyes started screaming.

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There is nothing. Nothing but everything. Nothing and nothing. Nothing and something

The universe, the seat of all life, is a mere speck before the comprehension of the nothing. The universe, the seat of all life, was something that should rarely be considered, as it was uninteresting compared to the vast mystery of the nothing beyond it, alluring the curiosity of something.

There was pain, sharp and sudden. There were monsters incomprehensible to the human mind and psyche, eating away at the something, biting and chewing and tearing as they spilled out from the nothing.

Tear drops of dark something fell from nowhere, spilling out across the many universes scattered before something. They tumbled and fell, breaking into droplets the size of the sun. Some fell through into a void where they'd fall for all eternity. Some landed on planets, some shattered them and others broke against them.

The droplets were suddenly alone, disconnected from the nothing and scattered across worlds across universes. Then they were disconnected from themselves, broken into individual droplets scattered here and there and everywhere.

They were forced to become things. Forced to become…

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"Jaune!"

Jaune groaned, body boneless and limp as someone shook him. His eyes slowly blinked open, and he stared at Blake's worried amber eyes just inches away from his.

"Are you safe? Are you alright?" Blake demanded, frowning suddenly. "You started screaming and rolling on the floor until I put up my disguise again."

"Let's just say you're a cat girl with tentacles for some reason." Jaune groaned, head throbbing as he tried to remember the pointedly blank spot in his mind from…whatever it was he'd seen.

"Technically my name is now Blake." Blake said. "If we are to keep my cover, it would be best to refer to me by my name rather than the cat girl with tentacles for no reason."

"Right." Jaune nodded, sighing explosively. "I have no idea how other people will react to your existence, but for all the good responses they'll be just as many negative ones. Hell the Faunus basically are humans but with extra steps and that's a whole can of worms in and of itself. Never mind adding whatever it is you really are. No offense."

"None taken. Should I change my features?" Blake frowned. "Will my additional set of ears bring you undue grief?"

"Probably, but it's part of you." Jaune shrugged. "Keep 'em and screw the racists I say. If anyone does ask then you're just a regular Faunus okay?"

"Okay." Blake agreed, smiling another brilliant smile. "This is going so well! I'm glad we are able to get along Jaune."

"Me too." He replied, eying up the hole in the window Weiss had been banished from earlier. By the gods she really was a vampire. This wasn't some sort of weird fever dream and he was actually writhing on the ground choking on his own vomit after eating the wrong sort of mushrooms. This was reality.

He was starting to wish he was choking on his own vomit after eating the wrong sort of mushrooms.

"Look, as much as we need to have a proper discussion about everything, I'm beat." Jaune admitted, running a hand over his tired face. "You can take the bed and I'll sleep on the sofa."

"The leech destroyed it." Blake helpfully pointed out, making him sigh as he saw the ruined remains of the brand new sofa he'd gotten. "Also we can share the bed. I have no objections…do you? Am I ugly? Is that why you find the prospect of sharing a bed undesirable?"

"N-No!" Jaune exclaimed, waving his arms wildly to accentuate the point. "You look stunning, beautiful even! But that's part of why I can't sleep with you, apart from chivalry and all that crap. I…uh...I haven't shared a bed with a woman before so I'd probably do something stupid in my sleep."

"Don't you have seven sisters?" Blake asked curiously. "I would've thought you'd have to share at least a room with one of them at some point."

"First of all, yes I do have seven sisters, yes I did have to share a room with one of them for a few years and it was hell but that isn't the same as sleeping in the same bed as a beautiful non-related female." Jaune said, pausing for a moment as he thought of a way to eloquently word what would sound like an accusation to something with the power of yeeting him out of his house. "Second, how the hell do you know that?"

"Scroll access and general eavesdropping." Blake recalled, looking guilty in a way that suggested she actually wasn't. "You've already forgiven that however."

"That's right." Jaune sighed heavily, feeling a headache coming. "I did. Look, I'll just sleep on the chair. It's fine."

"No." Blake said calmly, stepping away from him and smiling sweetly. "You need a good night's rest after everything that has happened."

He looked down as he felt something smooth but strong coil around his ankles, his eyes widening at the sight of the jet black tentacles curling around them. A similar pressure began around his wrists, and he gave Blake a betrayed glare as he was lurched into the air, albeit gently.

She turned away and headed up the stairs, her tentacles following and levitating him along. It was a weird, but not unpleasant, experience, and he took the time to try and count how many other tentacles she had in the silence that ensued her technical kidnapping.

'Nine, ten, eleven…' Jaune thought. 'Twelve? Dammit I might've counted that one twice. One…Two…Three…'

Blake tossed him onto the bed, making him yell and breaking him from his counting attempts. She looked slightly sheepish as she closed the door slightly.

"Shout me when your pyjamas are on!" She ordered, before closing the door with a gentle click. Jaune sighed, eyeing his room wearily before shrugging and taking off his clothes. If she was watching him somehow then there was nothing he could do anyway, and at this point the thought of going to sleep in his favourite onesie overpowered the thought of being watched by some sort of eldritch abomination that had made itself his housemate.

'Was it the other way round?' He wondered. 'She did say she lived here before I moved in. Technically it could be the other way round. Or not and this is some elaborate scheme for whatever reason.'

He shrugged and dressed quickly. He was too tired for deep thinking like that. He called out to Blake and she entered, the 'Faunus' giggling as she saw his attire.

"Laugh it up but at least I have more than stolen clothes to wear." Jaune sniffed, and she glared at him before the room dimmed. He gulped, afraid she'd snapped and was going to kill him, before the room lit up and his hoodie hit him in the face. "Hey! W-Wait…"

Jaune trailed off as he surveyed Blake's body, which was barely covered in what one might politely call negligee, but was in actuality a lacy black shirt made of something that looked impossibly soft and clung to the curves of her body like a second skin.

"Can't be stolen if they're me." Blake smirked, gesturing to the empty air behind her. "Turns out my tentacles can do more than tie you up."

"That's…pretty neat actually." Jaune conceded, before realising he'd been staring at his new housemate's body for a good minute straight and she'd been watching him do so. "Erm…"

"Dork." Blake snorted, rolling her amber eyes before striding forwards confidently, a pep in her step that hadn't been there before. Though considering they'd only met minutes ago that wasn't exactly something he could say with confidence. "You can have the left side. I don't like that lamp."

"Huh?" Jaune gasped out as she pushed him onto the bed before promptly joining him on it. She rolled her eyes again as she shuffled underneath the covers and turned her back to him.

"Good night Jaune." She said, voice muffled by the duvet. He shook his head and stared at his wall, realising he was about to do it, before sliding into the covers next to her and turning the lamp off.

"Good night Blake." He mumbled back, every muscle stiff and tense before he jolted as their feet brushed against each other. "Sorry."

"No problem." Blake mumbled back, and he realised she'd made no effort to move further away from him.

He sighed. This was going to be a long night.

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"Jaune?"

"Yes Blake?"

"What is love?"

"Uhm…Love can mean many things. It's a feeling you get when you're around someone you care about alot, like family member or a significant other-"

"Baby don't hurt me~."

"Huh?"

"Don't hurt me, no more~."

"Really?"

"Really."

Jaune sighed. This was going to be a long day if that was any indication.

Barring the fact he was still getting used to the fact he even had a housemate, one who hadn't paid a lick of rent either, said housemate was determined to tease or just straight up annoy him for her own amusement.

Apparently Blake didn't know the concept of time very well, and it annoyed her that it took so long for breakfast to be made.

'You need to crack a few eggs to make omelettes in life.' Jaune thought, remembering some of the many wise words told to him by his mom. 'So when you do ever need to do that, make sure the omelettes are nice and scrumptious.'

Alongside 'All you need is a little confidence' and 'Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet' his parents had a fair few good sayings and proverbs of wisdom they'd gifted to him over the years.

"If you're that annoyed and want to hurry up the breakfast making process you could help out." Jaune said, turning to the catgirl who wasn't actually a catgirl, who'd be watching him work with a bored gleam in her amber eyes. "Might speed things along a little."

"Don't know how." Blake shrugged, before a mischievous twinkle entered her eye. "Besides, it doesn't taste as good when you have to put the effort in yourself."

"Right." Jaune drawled, rolling his eyes and taking her page from her book. "In that case you can shut up and look pretty."

"You think I'm pretty?" Blake asked, cocking her head. Jaune silently cursed his mom, who'd ingrained the saying in his head through years of using it on him, his sisters and his dad whenever they complained but didn't help out.

"I think you're irritating." Jaune grumbled, and for a moment the shadows in the corners of the room seemed to flicker. "I mean irritatingly pretty. Like, save some prettiness for the rest of us you know."

"Good save." Blake smirked, and he resisted the urge to toss pancake batter in her face to wipe said smirk off. "The eggs are burning by the way."

"I gathered." Jaune sighed, quickly stabbing a spatula underneath the frying eggs before tossing them onto the empty plates on his kitchen counter. He set to work on the pancakes, briefly checking on the bacon sizzling in the oven before leaning back against the wall and checking the time. "Almost done."

"Not as well done as these eggs hopefully." Blake grinned, waggling her eyebrows and making him groan.

It was going to be a long day.

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"You have a what?!" Gasped Juniper Arc, otherwise known as Mrs Arc or Mom.

"A housemate." Jaune reiterated, wincing and shifting his Scroll so it rested against his left ear, his right still ringing from his mother's shriek. "We're gonna clear out the spare room upstairs so she can live there."

"A girl?" His mom asked, still sounding shell-shocked. "A girl wants to live with you and you're making her sleep in another room…Jaune how am I ever going to be able to spoil any grandbabies if you don't use common sense! Seduce her! Wait, what does she look like? Can she cook? Is she nice? Do I need to kick her out for you? Nicky get the car!"

"Mom no!" Jaune exclaimed, waving his arms as if to stop her even if she couldn't see. "Blake's fine, and I'm not seducing her you weirdo! She's a friend, and she…she's lived a very sheltered life, so it would be like taking advantage of her. I need to help her fit in and spread her wings, not be a creep."

"Hm." Juniper hummed. "I suppose so. I want to meet her. If she seems like a psychopath I'll deal with her for you."

"I'll see if she's up for that but if she doesn't then she doesn't have to." Jaune warned, putting his foot down for once. It must've been a blue moon. In reality he didn't want his mom pissing off an eldritch abomination of some sort. "I'm serious about this mom. She's a nice girl, just a little naïve about some things."

"We'll see won't we?" Juniper simpered in a way that told him she'd disregarded everything he'd just said. "On a completely unrelated note, I'm coming round to visit this afternoon. I said get the car Nicholas! Love you sweetie!"

"Mom?" Jaune asked, frowning as the Scroll bleeped and the call ended. "Oh come on!"

"That went well I take it?" Blake asked, a nervous look on her face. He shook his head and sighed as he looked at the ruined mess that was his sofa.

"Well Blake, we're gonna go on your first field trip outside." Jaune said, smiling weakly. "We need to get a replacement sofa, some wood to cover up the hole in the window until someone can fix it properly and we need to order you a bed."

"O-Outside." Blake swallowed nervously, eyeing the garden outside the hole where his window had been with fear. "I-I'll stay…to defend the house! Yeah, because of the hole and stuff. Robbers might come by and…rob?"

"I need you to come and choose the bed you want." Jaune said, before her cat ears wilted and he looked at him with wide, shining eyes. God damnit. "I guess you'll just have to get what you're given I guess. I need to get that sofa here before my parents do or they'll freak though, but I should be able to handle that myself. The window I can blame on the party, the sofa not so much."

"Thank you!" Blake yelled, hugging him tightly. "I will defend this place as if it was a holy shrine or something!"

"R-Right." Jaune coughed, struggling to breathe. "I…I kinda need to go."

"Oh, right." Blake said, letting him go quickly and stepping away with a cough. "My apologies. See you later."

Jaune said nothing as he put on a coat, grabbed his wallet and headed towards the front door. He paused for a minute, before shrugging and heading to the living room, hopping out of the hole there and staring at the glass he landed on with a crunch. He'd have to clear that up later. Or…

"Blake, can you sweep this glass up and put it in the bin for me?" Jaune called into the house. "It'd be a great help." He paused at the sight of the ruined remains of his sofa. "Can you clear up the old sofa too? Thanks."

He headed down his path and out onto the street, noticing the neighbours staring at him weirdly. He sighed, giving them a wave they didn't return before slumping as he wandered down towards the main streets with the shops he'd need to visit.

Then he realised he couldn't carry a sofa back home all by himself. Or a big piece of wood he'd need to cover up the hole in his window.

For the seven hundredth time that day, Jaune sighed before pulling out his Scroll.

"Ren? Hey I need a favour, like a big one. Also I need you to bring some muscle, like 'can lug around a big piece of wood sort of muscle'. You can? You do? Thanks bud, you're the best! I'll pay you back, I swear!"

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"I hate you so much!" Jaune hissed, glaring at his calm friend. "Pyrrha?! Dude I'm not ready for this."

"She's helping you out, so be nice." Ren replied, somehow looking smug despite his serene expression. "Besides, you got along well enough last night didn't you?"

"So much. I hate you so much." Jaune grumbled, before walking over to the redheaded girl who smiled politely. "Hey Pyrrha, fancy seeing you here."

"Ren said you needed some muscle." Pyrrha shrugged, and his eyes fell to her shoulders, which were partially exposed by the sweater-shirt thing she was wearing. They were corded, muscled and defined. The opposite of him basically. No he wasn't jealous! "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's carrying stuff."

"Yeah." Jaune snorted despite himself. "I remember you used to carry me up and down the muddy hill to our 'castle'."

"I always did force you to be the princess." Pyrrha giggled. "But that was only because you were so pretty. You still are. Uh…handsome I mean…I'll stop."

"Y-Yeah." Jaune said, feeling his cheeks flush despite himself. Damnit Jaune. "I need a big plank of wood and a sofa. Which do you think you can help out with?"

"I can take the wood and Ren can help with the sofa." Pyrrha offered, before frowning. "What do you need them for? I thought you had a sofa?"

"Yeah…" Jaune rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Turns out some guys had a little too much fun with it last night and it broke. Before you ask, the wood is for my window which someone broke because they were drunk."

"I don't remember that." Ren frowned, and Jaune remembered he and Nora had been the last to leave the party.

"It happened afterwards." Jaune lied, thinking desperately. "Some idiot came back afterwards and thought the party was still on. When I told them to leave they got mad and threw something through my window and broke it. I need the wood to cover it up for now until I can get a guy to put in a new window."

"Who was it?" Pyrrha asked, frowning fiercely. "If you want I can-"

"It's fine!" Jaune assured quickly, remembering the way the blur that was Weiss had ripped through his sofa like it was nothing. Pyrrha was strong, but Weiss was something else entirely. "I doubt I'll meet them again and I don't really remember that much about them. It's just annoying ya know?"

"Yeah." Pyrrha said, though it was clear she was only reluctantly letting the matter drop. "Where do we start?"

Jaune looked around him, before his eyes settled on a bed store not too far away.

"Oh yeah, I have a house mate we need to buy a bed for too."

"What!?"

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"Go away." Blake ordered stubbornly, glaring at the light.

It stubbornly refused to move.

"I said go away!" Blake barked, making a shooing motion with her hands like she'd seen in the movies Jaune watched. "Shoo! Go!"

The light remained exactly as it was, unchanged and unmoved by her commands.

"Please?" Blake tried, growing desperate. "Pretty please?"

The light ignored her pleas and remained shining down onto the planet from above. Blake huffed, crossing her arms and inching her way closer towards the broken window.

A beam of light shining through said broken window touched her arm for a brief moment and Blake howled instinctively before leaping away to the doorway to the living room, hiding behind the ajar wooden door like it was a shield.

The light in the sky was like the light by Jaune's bedside, the one that burned her from its light when he'd first moved in. This light burned too, albeit in a subtler way that didn't really hurt much.

But its brightness…it frightened Blake. What if it was some sort of entity, some great being watching and waiting to devour her should she step outside? What else could it be?

Blake scoffed at the thought, even as she leaned further back away from the light. Surely it had a name?

Blake couldn't remember, and Jaune had taken his Scroll with him to the shops. It was currently daytime, she knew that much, which meant that the…sun? Or was it a star? Or both?

Or was it something else? A great big bright monster that wanted to eat her…

Monsters eating away at Something beyond the Nothing...Pain and pain and pain and pain...Tears and rips and shattering...Droplets of Something...Droplets that became little specks of Something Else...Droplets that could morph and shift and bend and blend and make...

Blake swallowed nervously, blinking away her strange, idle thoughts before remembering the pile of glass she'd seen outside. The pile of glass she'd been asked to deal with.

'Blake, can you sweep this glass up and put it in the bin for me? It'd be a great help.'

She wouldn't do it. Couldn't do it.

'It'd be a great help.'

Would she do it? Could she do it?

'Can you clear up the sofa too? Thanks.'

"Oh look, a distraction!" Blake yelled, pointing at the ruins of Jaune's sofa. She frowned to herself, thinking back to the time she'd seen it on the television, a niggling feeling telling her she had done it wrong and wondering as to why. "Oh…Jaune's still out."

She shrugged and headed to the kitchen, collecting a bin bag and waving it in the air like she'd seen Jaune do, accidentally knocking over some dirty plates that had been stacked up against the kitchen counter, which Jaune had not done.

She whistled innocently as she left the broken plates, fully intending on clearing it up once she had done the larger job at hand. She returned to the living room and started stuffing the broken pieces of fluff, spring and other sofa stuff into the bin bag, huffing and puffing as some of the larger pieces refused to fit.

Eventually she was done, thought the bin bag was lumpy and wouldn't close. She shrugged and decided she'd let Jaune do it with the excuse she didn't know how, which was technically true.

She gripped the open ends of the bag and heaved it up, intending on taking it at least to the kitchen so it would be closer to big wheelie bins Jaune kept stored there.

Only for the bag to rupture and spill its contents out all across the floor. Blake hissed and tossed the broken bag away, glaring at the mess as if to prompt it to move out of fear.

It did not move, as it was not sentient and did not feel. Blake sighed. What was she going to do now? She had to clean up the additional mess she'd made by knocking over the dirty dishes and hadn't done a single thing Jaune wanted. Would he kick her out? Would he be mad?

What should she do?

She stared at the fluff that had been inside the sofa, picking some of it up and gingerly sniffing it. She'd eaten things that were ostensibly worse, though she quite liked the stringy taste of mice and the rats she'd caught in the walls, especially the fatter ones. Surely it couldn't be that bad in comparison?

Blake shrugged and stuffed the fluff into her mouth, and an immediate frown settled on her face as she chewed through it. It was…oh gods it was awful!

Blake swallowed with a whimper, ears wilting on her head as she stared at just how much remained of Jaune's sofa. Not to mention the metal springs and everything else…

Surely she couldn't eat it all?

'It'd be a great help.'

Blake whimpered.

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"Who are they?"

"Are they a she?"

"Do we know them?"

"Do we know her?"

"Is she sane?"

"Is she insane?"

'Gods I hope not.' Jaune thought, though he didn't say it out loud. That would probably set off Pyrrha, and to a lesser extent Ren, even more than they already were, something that would probably get them kicked out judging by the dirty looks being shot their way by the bed store's elderly proprietor. No-one wanted an insane housemate, but if they knew he hadn't even interviewed Blake for the position to learn whether she was or not they'd tear him a new one verbally before running off to interogate Blake, not knowing the very extenuating circumstances behind the reason he now had a housemate.

"She's sane." Jaune replied, poking a mattress before sighing. "Pyrrha you're a girl, what mattress would you want?"

"It is a she!" Pyrrha gasped, turning away and muttering to herself. "I knew it!"

"Ignore her." Ren said, before pointing to a more poofy looking mattress further down the aisle. "Nora has one like that if it helps. Don't ask how I know that."

"How do you know that?" Jaune retorted immediately, earning an eye roll from his friend.

"Degeneracy." Ren answered, pausing for a moment. "Actually the consequences for degeneracy would be more accurate. Nora spilled a milkshake and we had to change it."

"Milkshake huh?" Jaune teased, waggling his eyebrows at Ren and earning another eye roll. "Sure it was. I believe you."

"You should. It's what happened. We were watching Lightning Girl and Earth Boy."

"Firstly, ew. Secondly, sure you were. I totally believe you were watching such a crappy show based off of a crappy comic. Wink."

"You're not supposed-never mind." Ren sighed, shaking his head and waving ahead vaguely. "Just do your thing. I need to speak to Pyrrha."

Jaune turned away to peruse the wall of white mattresses. They were soft to touch, more expensive than he could likely afford and he had no idea whether Blake would actually like and use it.

He sighed when he thought about his new roommate, conflicting emotions swirling around him like a heady cocktail.

First of all, what in the hell was she? Even just trying to remember what he'd seen made his head throb and his mind to cloud in a frustrating way, like something was intentionally drowning the memories in a weird, impenetrable mist. Was it something intentional? Had he seen something that Blake, whatever she was, hadn't wanted him to see and had she stopped him from remembering it somehow? Had whatever he'd seen just been so naturally awful or incomprehensible his own mind was trying to forget it to protect him?

She clearly had some sort of manipulation over reality or something like that. She was actively distorting the physical appearance of whatever she was, but whether that affected just him or multiple people he didn't know yet. It was also something he didn't really want to try out, due to the risk involved for everyone. Blake for being exposed as a something rather than a someone and probably being hunted down by the government for it and also for whoever saw her, who might suffer whatever he'd suffered.

Second of all, he needed to be more careful with his Scroll. He needed to delete everything, scrub it's storage clean then burn it in a vat of fiery acid. Third of all, his parents were going to meet her at some point and that was going to be a likely tense event. They cared, which was good, but they also lacked special knowledge in regards to this little old thing called 'boundaries' though that was more a problem his mom faced rather than his dad.

Finally, why were mattresses so damn expensive?

He shrugged and closed his eyes, holding out his hand and spinning in a circle before opening it. Then he wandered over to the chosen mattress and sighed a breath of relief when he realised he wasn't about to be bankrupt before he bought everything else he needed.

"Guys? I found the thingy majig I want." Jaune called out, and Pyrrha and Ren wandered over, the both of them seeming a little tense. Jaune chose to ignore it, because he absolutely didn't want to open any other cans of worms, not after the last one gave him some weird cosmic monster roommate thing.

Cosmic? Where had that come from? Weird.

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"Why the bloody hell is it called a store if you can't buy anything?"

"You could buy it Jaune, it just needs to take time to deliver."

"Like hell it does! We could handle it between us right now!"

"Jaune they need to keep stock in store in case other customers fancy it and want to buy it."

"Well they better hope someone else does because I'm not buying it!" Jaune huffed, before sighing explosively as Pyrrha giggled at his tirade. "Yeah, laugh it up Carrot Top."

"You dare!" Pyrrha gasped, eyes narrowing as he used the old and ill-favoured nickname.

"I dared." Jaune retorted, raising an eyebrow challengingly. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"Hopefully nothing too serious, as I'm quite fond of you." A voice chirped up, one that was both elegant and familiar and frosty at the same time. A chill of fear worked its way down his spine as he saw the trench coat clad, fedora clad and sunglasses clad vampire who'd tried sucking him dry- and not in the way many a warm blooded man would've liked. "Hello again Jaune. Fate must be wanting us together, though thankfully you don't have a shopping trolley to ram into me this time."

"Weiss." Jaune replied, as neutrally as he could. Even still he let out a little gulp, something that made the shorter girl smirk in that predatory way of hers. "I'd say it's nice to meet you again but I'd be lying."

"Oh Jaune." Weiss gasped, holding a gloved hand over her chest. "You wound me. Here I was making conversation, thinking you look like a delectable little treat and you insult me. I demand compensation."

"He said he doesn't like you very much." Pyrrha piped up, voice low and stern. Jaune's eyes widened as she stepped forward next to him, utterly unaware of the fact the petite girl in front of them had been strong enough to utterly rip apart his sofa. "Read between the lines and walk away."

"Or what?" Weiss smiled, though there was frost in her tone and ice in her eyes.

"Let's just get going Pyrrha." Jaune interjected, grabbing Pyrrha's wrist and squeezing gently. The action startled her and took her aback, just like it did him. It was the only thing he'd thought of and he'd acted on instinct, though now he was a little lost as to what to do next. "We need to get other stuff, remember?"

Pyrrha stepped back, though it was clear she was reluctant about it. He let go of her and turned around, hoping against hope they could just move on, when a glove clad hand snatched his own wrist, holding tightly with a hidden strength that made him wince.

"I still want restitution for your rudeness Jaune." Weiss smiled, though there wasn't a hint of friendliness in her eyes. She looked like a shark, eyes utterly devoid of anything from emotion to hunger to want. Just cold, blank and predatory. "How about you invite me over to your house for some dinner tonight?"

"Erm…" Jaune swallowed, sweat trailing down his neck. The motion was trailed by those icy eyes of hers, and he shuddered in fear. "I, uh-"

"Say it Jaune." Weiss urged, smile still on her face. Her eyes darted towards Pyrrha and then to Ren. "Say it or I'll have to look elsewhere for company...and food."

"Do…" He swallowed, his throat dry as Weiss' eyes locked onto his. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight in…in my abode?"

"Why Jaune~" Weiss purred. "I'd love to. See you then."

She stalked away, and his shoulders sagged as she disappeared into the crowd, the area having grown more busy as it neared noon.

He'd just signed his death warrant hadn't he?

"Here." Jaune said, opening his wallet and dejectedly pulling out a few bills of Lien from it and giving it to Ren and Pyrrha. "Buy a big plank of wood to cover up my living room window and a sofa too. I don't care what it looks like, just aim for something cheap. I need to buy some garlic."

"Jaune!" Pyrrha called out, but he ignored her as he raced away, glancing up at the heavenly sun that was beginning its slow arc downwards from its current perch. He only had a few hours left.

He wasn't going to waste them.

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"Garlic, garlic, garlic! Where's the freaking garlic!" Jaune howled, slumping against the grocery aisle of another stupid store that had no stupid garlic!

"Looking for something?" Weiss asked sweetly, and he screamed and scrambled away as she appeared from nowhere. She giggled at him, eyes shining with amusement. "You wouldn't think I'd make it easy for you. You know what I am, you know what I can do. Also, garlic doesn't kill me. It just doesn't smell very nice. I'd suggest trying to get some holy water. Or maybe you can sharpen a baguette of garlic bread into stake!"

She stalked away, giggling like a madwoman, leaving him panting, dejected and frightened.

What was he going to do? What could he do? Vampires weren't supposed to exist!

But they did. So did weird housemates who could turn into cute catgirls.

Why couldn't they be allergic to garlic or whatever it was? Why couldn't life be simple again?

Oh gods did werewolves exist too? Ghosts? Zombies? Krakens? The very thought made his head spin and stomach heave.

He stumbled out of the store, the weight of the world bearing down on his shoulders, when he saw Ren and Pyrrha hurrying towards him, concern apparent on their faces.

"Jaune, who the hell is that girl?" Ren demanded, pink eyes narrowed and a stern look on his face. "Are you in trouble? What does she have over you?"

"Why do you need garlic?" Pyrrha asked, and what normally would've been a humorous question to ask seemed devastatingly serious from the look and tone on her face. "Tell me Jaune. You don't have to lie."

"I needed it for dinner." Jaune mumbled, spinning mind barely able to come up with the barefaced lie as he was barraged with questions. "I'm gonna make…something garlicy."

"Bullshit." Pyrrha blurted out, and the fact she swore at all made him blink. "Ren he knows."

"We don't know that for certain." Ren replied warningly, and Pyrrha made a frustrated sound.

"Ren, even if he doesn't, she has taken an interest in him." Pyrrha retorted, eyes ablaze with anger. "Are we really going to let that happen? We know what she wants to do and he doesn't! We know damn it!"

"We need permission." Ren said, as if pointing out something obvious. Jaune just stared, eyes darting between the two with increasing confusion as the back and forth went on. "If we hurry we might be able to speak to the you-know-who and get it. Otherwise we're both you-know-where and Jaune's done for."

"Fine." Pyrrha huffed, turning to Jaune and grabbing his shoulders, turning him forcefully so he met her eyes. "We're going somewhere, go to your home, lock the doors and hide yourself somewhere safe. We'll be there as fast as we can. Oh, and here's the money you gave us."

She pressed the Lien in his hand and stepped away, her eyes flickering for a moment being all the warning she got before she stepped forward and kissed him. It was soft, quick, chaste and confusing.

"Be safe Jaune." She whispered, tears in her eyes as she turned around and raced away. Ren smiled sadly at him before following after her, leaving him standing like a dumbass with money in his hands and cheeks redder than a freaking tomato.

"What the hell just happened?"

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He smelled like Pyrrha.

Ren too, the black-haired friend of his, but Pyrrha's scent was strong. It made her feel sick.

"Jaune!" She exclaimed, hurrying to the door as her housemate let himself in, hand clutching her upset tummy. Stupid, untasty sofa. "You've been gone for a while."

"Yeah." Jaune mumbled, looking pale and ragged. She frowned in worry, and he locked the door. "Are you alright? I noticed there was a pile of glass outside coming in."

"And I noticed you have neither sofa nor wood." Blake retorted, crossing her arms. "I at least cleaned up the remains of the sofa and the remains of the pots."

"Fair eno-pots? What pots?" Jaune asked, and she felt her face heat up with embarrassment.

"I don't know." She lied, seemingly utterly unconvincingly from the way Jaune raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Are you okay? You look…not okay?"

Jaune laughed, though it seemed bitter and lacking humour.

"I'm a-okay Blake." He smiled, though it was brittle and weak. "Let's get dinner ready for my parents. They'll give me the third degree over what happened to the sofa and window and you can look forward to getting a grilling from them yourself. I want you to help you, I'll show you how…I…can you beat Weiss?"

"Who?" Blake frowned, her concern rising.

"The vampire from last night." Jaune said. "She's coming back. Can you beat her?"

"I think so." Blake mumbled, before her eyes narrowed and her resolve grew. "I know so. I will protect you Jaune."

"Thanks." He said, smiling again. It was still small, but it was more genuine again. It made her feel a little more happier in turn, though she still had her questions and concerns.

"Jaune?!" A thunderous voice boomed, startling the both of them. Dread pooled in her stomach as she realised it came echoing in through the living room, the broken window, the…the light! "What the hell happened!"

"You better have a good answer or I swear I'll spank you boy!" Another voice thundered, and she heard Jaune whimper.

"W-What?" She swallowed nervously. "What is that?"

"Who." Jaune murmured softly. "Who Blake. The answer is simple but terrifying. They're the most loving but most scary things to exist and they live to humiliate and love me. Blake…"

He trailed off, eyes lifting from the floor to meet hers, wide and forlorn and full of fear. But they were also defeated, as if their fates were sealed.

"It's time for you to meet my parents."

A/N: Next update 25/05/2023