Alice at Last
Chapter Twelve
"I don't slay so put it out of your mind."
"… Mind?" Hatter stops, looking at Alice in such a way that sends shivers down her spine. He picks her up before setting her down on a stump, causing her heart to sink, especially when he starts to walk away. She's far too small to survive out on her own. She was almost killed by that damned Bandersnatch and now she's smaller yet. Despite her still believing it to be a dream, she can't help the fear that settles into the pit of her stomach.
"Wait!" she calls out. "You can't just leave me here!"
He turns, his eyes a golden brown, unnerving, seemingly dangerous. "You don't slay. Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay…" He snarls it out and she feels more degraded than she has in a while… It feels off. She's never cared about what people think about her. Why should she start now, especially towards a stranger? Why does she feel the need to defend herself so he doesn't think less of her?
"I couldn't even if I wanted to," she explains simply.
He seems to hesitate at that before he walks over, kneeling down in front of her. "… Your lost your muchness…" he whispers, Alice's eyebrows creasing out of confusion, especially since she didn't pick up the second part he uttered.
"My what?"
"In there." He presses a gentle finger against her chest. "Something's missing."
Alice simply watches him before remembering what he got annoyed about in the first place. None of it makes sense, especially not since whatever recollection she has of the Red Queen, none of it has anything that proves her to be evil. "Tell me what Red Queen has done."
Tarrant stops, shaking his head. "It's not a pretty story."
It's silent for a moment before Alice insists. "Tell me anyway."
He pauses before looking around, his eyes saddening almost instantly as realization falls upon him. "It was here," he rasps out and Alice watches as he seems to disconnect from reality, telling the story. "I was hatter to the White Queen at the Time… It was all so sudden… And just like that, she came in on her Jabberwocky… Killed dozens of people in one foul swoop. Barely anyone had a chance to respond… That was it. Nothing was left anywhere." He gestures around the wasteland. "It's all destroyed…" He trails off as he's brought back to that day, silence remaining in the air.
Alice watches his whole demeanour change and he's lost in thought. "Hatter!" she finally speaks, snapping him out of his trance. He looks around, confused before meeting her gaze.
"I'm fine," he whispers. The woman stares, not convinced.
"Are you…?" she inquires gently. He doesn't respond and she knows the truth. "… You said you know me… How?" she whispers. "I was never here before."
"But you were. You were an adventurous and free child. Your heart was made of gold and you wanted nothing more than to be with those whom you loved. And those people were both the Red and White Queen."
"If you say that the Red Queen is evil and awful, why would you let a child stay with her?"
"Because she grew to love you," he responds. "She grew different when you were with her. You gave her that love that she didn't have in years, decades even. It was surprising for all of us, especially herself. She changed a lot under you. She became a mother figure to you, too. And when you left… It went downhill. She grew worse than before. Wicked. A tyrant. Murderer. Every awful thing that you can think of. So that's why we need you to kill the Jabberwocky and allow the White Queen to reclaim the throne."
Alice raises a hand to stop him from talking. "Is there no chance to talk it out with her? If she cared about me so much back then, then certainly there's a chance I can talk and persuade her. The love one has for someone cannot fade despite beliefs. Can you bring me to her?"
Hatter visibly tenses and he immediately shakes his head. "No. Not a chance. We don't know how she'll react, regardless if she did love you in the past. I won't allow it."
"And why not? If there's a chance that I don't have to slay the Jabberwocky, I want to take that chance!"
"I'd rather you not. That is not the path foretold," he says simply.
"I don't care about what the path foretold is! I care about not dying."
"If this is a dream, as you say it is, then it shouldn't matter."
"But if you die in your dream, you die in real life," Alice states matter-of-factly as she crosses her arms over her chest. Hatter grins, watching her with amusement.
"You still believe it to be true?" he inquires.
Alice falters at that. "What do you mean, still?" she asks slowly, as if testing him. He gives her another smile.
"You used to say that all the Time when you were a child. Used to believe it with everything you had. Not much has changed about you except your spirit."
"My spirit? What do you mean by that?"
"… You seem far more careful about everything… It's as though they trained you like a dog, to be blunt. I told you that you no longer have your muchness…"
"I'm not supposed to be a child anymore. I've grown up. Everyone does eventually."
"Yes, but here, their spirit stays strong. They have the aura of a child still. They're curious, adventurous. They never lose sight on the person they were when they were younger because no one here quells over that. Ourselves is the purest thing we can have. I suppose they have different thoughts when it comes to the Abovelands."
Alice nods slightly. "I suppose so," she whispers as she recalls her experience growing up. "What do you do down here while growing up then?"
"It depends. We spend the majority of Time with our families and friends, learning about everything that Underland has to offer but we learn more about our family trade. We observe those around us. Underland is strict when it comes to wrongdoings. Crimes like rape, abuse and murder are all punishable by death. Domestic abuse shuns you. Child abuse is also punishable by death. Stealing shuns you except if you're poor but we try to help the less fortunate. There are no homeless people in Underland. We try our best to take care of everyone… Is it different in the Abovelands?"
Alice nods, her throat constricting. "Much different. No one cares about the homeless up there. Well, very few people. Rape and domestic abuse is common, maybe even a given up there when people are married. Women are submissive to men. In fact, they can be beaten without any repercussions if the man deems it worthy…" She pauses and looks down at the ground. "It's an awful place to live if you're a woman. That's why I want to take over my father's business. I want to take control of my life. Prove to men that I don't need them…" She sighs now. "… But I'm just kidding myself. That's al I've ever done. I'm explain what I want to someone who's not even real. I have gone insane." She rubs her face tiredly. "… And I thought that… Never mind. Forget it."
"Are you sure?"
She looks up at him and shakes her head. "No," she mumbles. "I don't believe I am. But what does it matter?"
Hatter is about to say something before he stops, looking around his surroundings. "Did you hear that? I'm certain I heard something."
Alice's eyebrows crease in confusion. "What?" she inquires before she picks up on the barking of Bayard. Her heart seems to stop momentarily out of fear before she remembers that Bayard is against the "Bloody Big Head." So why is he getting closer? Before she can process another thought, Hatter has already grabbed her.
"Oh! Red knight!" He runs off, placing the woman into his front jacket pocket before running off, continuously looking back as the barking and the sound of metal gets increasingly louder.
Alice peaks out of the pocket, seeing that they had stopped in front of a river. Hatter is quick about picking her up and placing her back on the rim of the hat. "Go south to Trotter's Bottom," he instructs her. "The White Queen's castle is just beyond. Hold on tightly."
She grips onto the ribbon of the hat, turning pale, wondering if… No. No, he wouldn't. Would he? But Bayard is supposed to be on their side! And as she's sent through the air, she hears his cry. "Down with the Bloody Red Queen!"
The hat hits the ground, sending her flying off, rolling several Times before she finally comes to a stop. She slowly pushes herself up, watching as the cards surround him before taking him away. Alice's heart sinks as she goes on her knees, watching the ordeal, hating how she can't help, not for an instance.
She wants to cry. That's all she wants to do. She hates how realistic the dream is. She hates how it's all so familiar yet brand new at the same Time, how all of it makes sense but none of it does. Alice turns to the hat before climbing under it, leaning against it from the inside, enjoying the darkness. She's always enjoyed it, even as a child. Just the silence that allows her to recollect her thoughts but oddly enough, she has none to think about, her mind completely blank. That's when the panic starts to set in. She knows that her mind is shutting down except now, there's no one there to comfort her.
Alice leans her head back, feeling the tears form, feeling her throat constrict and the next thing she knows, she's sobbing, hating how everything has turned out so far. She pulls her legs to her chest and wraps her arms around them, just allowing the sorrow to overtake her.
She doesn't know how long she has cried for but when she finally stopped, it had gotten dark out. She leaves the hat, staying outside now to feel the cool air on her skin.
"You are tired," comes the baritone voice.
Alice turns around and gives Chessur a weak smile. "I suppose I am, yes. But that's nothing new"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"The only thing to talk about is how fucked up all of this is," she replies weakly. "How fucked up I am… I've simply gone insane. That's the only logical explanation there is… And I wish I could just wake up…" She pauses, shaking her head. "Preferably I"d wake up not in a mental institution, that is."
xxxXxxx
"She's grown now," Mirana says. "Of course she's going to be different but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. I mean, if she doesn't remember us, we can't do anything about that except start from scratch."
"But that doesn't change what the Oraculum says is going to happen."
"Then we don't fight," Mirana tells her sister. "If we don't fight, if we can share the crown, rule side by side like we used to do…"
Iracebeth seems to tense up at that, almost afraid of the thought for some unknown reason. "… I reverted back to my old ways… The people are rising up against me, again. There's not a chance that they'll forgive me again."
"You don't know until you try," Mirana replies gently. She pauses now. "Where is Alice, though?"
"Do you still know how to make the smoke?"
"Of course I do." She begins to make it, already gathering the ingredients quickly. She works in silence, Iracebeth watching her sister before she finishes, watching as the smoke rises and fills the room, a vision of Alice appearing. Mirana's eyes widen as she watches her and Hatter being pursued by Stayne and the cards.
"Iracebeth, what the Hell?!" Mirana demands. "Why would you send them out?!"
"I- I didn't! All I did was come over to your castle! The only other person the cards follow are-!" Iracebeth stops, her face turning a bright red out of anger. "Stayne," she hisses out the name, fury rushing through her veins. "He had no orders from me! He must have done it on his own!"
Mirana raises a hand to tell Iracebeth to stay quiet, listening to what Hatter tells Alice. "She's going to be heading here soon," Mirana whispers, watching as he throws her across the water. She grimaces upon the heavy impact as Alice hits the ground, turning her head away before she waves her head, causing the smoke to dissipate. "Iracebeth. This is your fault! You need to figure out how to help her!"
"How is this my fault?!"
"For not killing Stayne when you had the chance!"
"Believe me, I wanted to! But Alice told me not to."
Mirana stops at that. "What?"
"After what he tried to do." Iracebeth becomes sick as she remembers. "I was going to kill him. I wanted to but she told me not to. She said that it was her choice, which it was." She sighs. "It was… awful. It was such a tough decision but I decided to let him live. Alice was firm on that, even as a child," she finishes with a sad chuckle. "After Alice left, he managed to somehow get back into my life from the dungeons. I don't know how he did it… He just did."
Iracebeth sits down in silence, thinking about it all. "We used to be so close," she whispers. "After the accident, everything went to shit," she mutters. "Alice came and helped us the first Time. Do you think that she'll be capable of doing so a second Time?"
"I think so, yes," Mirana admits truthfully. "I think that we should probably go and get her now before Stayne manages to."
Iracebeth nods in agreement, the both of them heading out. Mirana finds the hat first and she kneels down before picking it up, causing Alice to stir for she had fallen asleep under the hat after talking with Chess.
Alice looks up at the two and immediately recognizes them but a large part of it still feels like a fever dream. She sits there, none of them moving before Mirana decides to be the first to say something. "Do you… remember us?" she inquires, her voice low.
"… I don't know," Alice responds. "I think I do. It's like a distant memory if anything." She looks over to Iracebeth now. "You're the Red Queen," she says slowly, unsure of how to feel. Everyone has told her one thing yet something inside of her is telling her something else entirely.
"Are you afraid?" Iracebeth asks before remembering that Alice isn't a child anymore. She offers her hand out and Alice climbs onto it, the two monarchs standing as they start to get on their horses. Iracebeth is careful upon setting Alice down on the neck of the horse.
"No," she replies. "I'm not. I know that so many people have told me what to think about you already but something else is telling me that… well, it's not true. Not that it's not true but that there's something more that's going on aside from malicious intent."
Iracebeth gives a small smile at her words, thankful that she still has her own mind to her in a way. "Good answer," she jokes, Mirana rolling her eyes now.
"What a way to make a first impression," Mirana says, Iracebeth merely laughing slightly in return.
Alice sits in silence, watching the two banter like sisters. Like how she used to do with her own sister. She pauses, feeling a sudden sadness wash over her and once again, she gets lost within her thoughts.
"I got you!" Margaret yells, grabbing Alice's arm. The seven year old laughs, chasing after her older sister now as she runs off.
Alice is quick and agile as they run through the woods, knowing precisely where to step and what to avoid. She stops, watching her sister run back towards the direction of the house. She hums as she thins before running off in a seemingly opposite direction, knowing a shortcut back home. The porch of the manor is considered a safe spot where no one can be tagged.
She finally exits the woods and spots her sister before running over, managing to tag her right before she gets to the porch. "You're it!" Alice yells before turning. However, due to her excitement, she trips, her ankle twisting painfully and she falls hard enough o not only knock the air out of her lungs but also cause tears to form. She coughs, trying to get up before she cries out a name. "Mirana!"
Alice stops, shaking her head as she remembers that she's not in Underland anymore, that it isn't a dream. She's in real life. She turns her head, relieved that Margaret didn't seem to catch on the call, having ran off to get their father.
Her father runs out, gathering his daughter in his arms carefully. "What have I told you two about playing rough?" Charles gently reprimands his children.
"It was an accident. I turned around and tripped. It wasn't anyone's fault," she explains.
Charles nods and carries her inside, Margaret staying next to her baby sitter to ensure that she's alright.
"Who did you call out to?" Margaret asks after Charles leaves the room momentarily to greet the family doctor after about twenty minutes of waiting.
"Huh?" Alice feigns ignorance, looking at her older sister now who sits at the foot of the bed.
"You called a name. It started with an M, I'm sure. Miranda?" she asks. Alice shrugs, not wanting to tell her sister simply because she's sure that she won't believe a word she says. No one in her family did so she went along with the story of being an elaborate dream and now, she's beginning to truly wonder if it is just a dream. A large part of her believes so while a small portion thinks it to have been real life.
"It doesn't matter," she replies.
"Sure it does. Mother and Father are strict about talking to strangers," Margaret answers, her voice soft.
"I don't know who or what you're talking about," Alice insists, grateful when her father walks in with her mother and the doctor.
The four remain silent as the doctor looks over the child's ankle, sighing as he pulls away. "It's either broken or a very bad fracture. She can't stand on it. I suggest that she rests up and keeps off of her feet at all costs. I can give some crutches to help her keep off of it. Keep It bandaged until I see you next Time."
"Of course," Charles answers with a nod. "When will you come over again?"
"I'll check in weekly until it starts to heal more. Then it will be a bi-weekly basis. I've prescribed some medicine to help with the pain." He hands Charles a piece of paper before bidding the family good bye and leaving.
Alice leans against the pillow, sighing, knowing that she won't be able to do much for at least two months. She watches as her mother leaves to make dinner, Margaret following to help her, leaving only Charles and Alice now.
Charles gives his youngest daughter a small, sad smile. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I know how boring it's gonna be but how about until you heal, I won't go sailing so I can keep you company?" he suggests, smiling a true smile as Alice's eyes brighten.
She sits up, her eyes sparkling. "Really?" she inquires. "Honestly? You will?" She tackles her father into a hug, Charles laughing before hugging her back happily.
"Of course! You will always be my priority over anything else… I love you."
Alice relaxes against her father, closing her eyes as she grows content. "Love you, too."