"Control your emotions or they will control you."
- Chinese proverb
Seconds… Minutes… Hours… Days… Weeks… Time passed on.
Bumblebee vs. Knockout… Knockout vs. Starscream… Starscream vs. Bumblebee… All three mechs vs. Moonracer… Everyone was at each other's throats.
Steeljaw, however, was unaffected. He refused to be, or rather, he was so because, unlike the others, he was able to face facts: nobody trusted each other, let alone the Decepticons – past and present – on board, and especially not him.
Starscream is so well-known that even beings who haven't met him – only have heard of him – would be able to predict whatever he has planned.
Steeljaw, on the other servo, is a complete mystery. While some claim to know him, they don't. Even Bumblebee, his rival and now ship-mate, only knows a part of him: the renegade who escaped the prison ship Alchemor after it crash-landed on Earth, constantly coming to blows with the Lieutenant and his team.
He doesn't even know the other half of the story, Steeljaw thought as he tinkered with a new device that partially self-imploded during testing. Not that he or anyone else deserves the need to know. That information is private. My past – the part that apparently doesn't exist in Cybertronian records… well, at least the ones the Lieutenant has access to – is private.
Thinking about that time, that part of his life… Steeljaw sighed. He stopped working, leaned back, and gingerly rubbed closed optics.
HE is certainly NOT their business!
Before Steeljaw could delve deeper into his memory banks, before the images of an old friend could resurface, there was a knock at the door.
"Steeljaw, open up!"
Bumblebee.
"Steeljaw, I know you can hear me! Please, just open the door!"
Well, since he asked so nicely.
The Lupicon pushed himself away from his workstation and rose to his pedes. He walked over to the double doors and opened them.
"You need something, Lieutenant?" Steeljaw asked, servos resting on hips.
"Well, I guess I should admit that I'm glad your room isn't actually soundproof," Bumblebee started, grinning his annoyingly smug grin. "Which means you've been ignoring us. Of course, I'm not sure if that's any better than sound-proofing..."
"Get to the point already, Lieutenant."
"What's the hurry? You busy?"
"Yes, so unless you have something important to tell me, I suggest you go away and leave me alone for a while."
"Steeljaw, you're always alone. Unless we're on a mission, you want to be by yourself."
"Your point?"
Bumblebee stopped himself before continuing. He rubbed the sides of his helm and sighed.
"Alright… we've come across another planet that we're planning to explore. Just wanted to let you know."
The mechs stood in silence, Steeljaw staring at Bee, who was waiting for a response.
"What?" Bumblebee asked, getting tired of Steeljaw looking at him without saying anything.
" . . . Nothing," Steeljaw said as he walked past Bumblebee, closing and locking the door on the way out. He stopped halfway down the hall and turned to look at the yellow and black mech. "Although, I am a little intrigued. You say that the only time I ever socialize with you and the others is when we're out on missions, but ever since Polaris, you have no qualms about letting me go off by myself."
"Steeljaw, I have no idea what you're trying to get at."
"I'm just wondering why you..."
Steeljaw vented as his words began to swirl together, forming a hurricane inside his processor. He couldn't think straight. He didn't know what to say. The loss of words, or rather, the lack of being able to form a coherent sentence, escapes him.
"Never mind."
Bumblebee looked on, his optics a mix of confusion and concern, as Steeljaw walked away.
After a quick, surprisingly under control debriefing, the four mechs left the ship in Moonracer's capable servos and went off exploring. The planet – Phoria – resembled Earth's temperate rainforests, with an added sense of fantasy and mystery. The sky was a light darkness, where everything was overcast with shade, but one could still see as if it were daytime. The air was neither hot nor cold, but both warm and cool at the same time. The sounds emanating from every twist and turn were nothing short of peaceful and relaxing. Everything about this place could lull one into sleep…
Bumblebee opened his optics, unsure of how much time had passed. At first, he didn't care; he felt so refreshed, so relaxed, so… suddenly, fear and caution etched his spark. Bumblebee bolted to his pedes and looked around. Nobody was there. Nobody, except for him.
"Knockout? Starscream? Steeljaw? Where are you guys?"
Nobody answered him. Gathering his courage, Bumblebee picked a direction and went that way. He continued to call out for his teammates, all the while keeping an optic out for any danger.
{Moonracer, I need your help.}
Bumblebee called the femme over the commlink, hoping that she could track their signals.
{Moonracer? Moonracer, come in! Are you there? It's Bumblebee! Please answer! The others are missing and I need your help! Moonracer!}
Unfortunately, Moonracer did not answer. Bumblebee tried again and again, but ultimately realized that his attempts were futile. Somehow, Bumblebee lost his team, and he had no idea why.
That's when it came. Bumblebee froze as terror and denial flooded his sensors. Looming in the clearing in front of him was Optimus Prime. Except…
"There you are, little scout."
Bumblebee, scared beyond belief, could only stand and stare as Optimus Prime approached him, his once bright blue optics now a violent violet. Purple optics like these meant Dark Energon, and Dark Energon only meant one thing.
"Unicron."
Knockout experienced the same thing as Bumblebee: woke up; freaked out; wandered off.
"Alright, Knockout, just calm down. They're probably just playing some sort of prank on you. Yeah, that's it. They do know that you enjoy horror movies. Maybe they're just trying to scare me or something. Well, the planet does appear to be quite perfect for that. It is a little unnerving, though, how ironic that is. Oh, don't worry your pretty little helm, Knockout, you're just overthinking things is all. Absolutely nothing to worry about."
Knockout continued on like this for a while. With no one else around, the red medic was freaking out, and talking aloud to himself was the only thing managing to keep him calm… until an audio-splitting cry bounced off the trees and echoed across the forest. Knockout jumped, letting out his own frightened cry before crashing to the ground.
"Well, that wasn't eerily, horribly, terrifyingly concerning at all! Guess I should check to see if it's one of the others."
Venting his irritation, Knockout regained his footing and made his way through the trees and in the direction of the cry. It took only a few minutes before he came upon a clearing, full of white stuff and freshly spilled Energon.
"What the…"
Knockout didn't finish. His optics widened at the sight of a familiar mech.
"Breakdown?"
In less than a minute, Knockout mindlessly, almost instinctively, rushed to his partner's dismembered corpse and collapsed on his knees next to it. He sat there and stared. He didn't move. He didn't make a sound. He was as still and silent as a statue.
Starscream experienced the same thing as Bumblebee and Knockout: woke up; freaked out; wandered off.
For the Seeker, however, it was a little different. He didn't just come face-to-face with a monster. He didn't just come face-to-face with a dead loved one. He came face-to-face with both. From the fighting and beatings and punishments, either by Megatron's servos or someone else's, to his lost family, specifically Skywarp and Thundercracker…
Starscream, in his current, emotionally unstable state, alone and afraid, couldn't take it anymore. He lashed out with every bit of emotion that he kept hidden, and destroyed everything in his wake. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to relive it all. He wanted it to go away. He needed it to go away.
Steeljaw's experience was unlike the others: woke up; did not freak out; wandered off.
When Steeljaw saw no signs of the other mechs anywhere, he did what Bumblebee did and tried to get in contact with Moonracer, and just like with the other mech, she didn't answer. This raised his suspicions, and they only continued to grow when he attempted to pick up their scents and got nothing.
"That… isn't good," Steeljaw said to himself, continuing his trek with senses on full alert.
There is something wrong with this place, as pretty as it is.
"Eh, Steel? What're you lookin' for?"
Steeljaw froze.
What was..? Who was..? Wait, isn't that..?
"C'mon, Steel. I haven't ripped a battalion apart in a while now. When're you gonna stop thinkin' so we can start fightin'?"
He's… here? No, he can't be! I haven't seen him since… no, this isn't real. He isn't real. None of this is real!
Steeljaw jerked awake, violently. His systems felt clogged, making it hard for him to function. He gave himself a few minutes to get his bearings before rising to his pedes. His body felt unusually stiff and sore, not to mention the heavy cloud that hung over his processor.
"I don't know what happened, but considering how I feel," Steeljaw started talking to himself, flinching ever so slightly with every movement of his body. "It wasn't just in my head. Primus, I can't remember the last time I felt this bad. And what was with that vision?"
Steeljaw thought about what he saw, attempting to put the pieces together, but it just made his helm ache worse. He growled in irritation.
"This is going to be a long day."
As soon as he said that, Steeljaw could've sworn he heard something. Despite his grogginess, he turned around swiftly and prepared for an ambush.
"Whoever's there, I suggest you show yourselves, now," Steeljaw demanded. Nothing responded. It remained that way for a while, but the Lupicon has come to the realization that letting his guard down on this planet is the worst thing he could do, so he won't.
Soon enough, Steeljaw's propensity for patience pays off. Three figures stumble out of hiding and into the Lupicon's view. His optics lit a little in surprise.
"Lieutenant?" Steeljaw questioned, noticing something wrong with the familiar mechs. "Starscream? Knockout? What's going on?"
The trio didn't answer. They continued to approach Steeljaw. Unsettled by their actions, or lack thereof, Steeljaw slowly inched away. Unfortunately, that seemed to get their attention. The trio's helms snapped-up, revealing their deep, dark, empty optics.
"Scrap."
Suppressing a shiver, Steeljaw turned tail and ran. Not usually his first choice, but considering he had absolutely no idea what was going on, he didn't want to risk getting into a fight. This whole entire planet had him on edge, from the environment to the weird effects it had on them...
Wait, Moonracer! Steeljaw suddenly thought, remembering that he was out of that place and back in reality.
Good ol' terrifying reality, but if he was truly back…
{Moonracer? Moonracer, come in! Please pick up, please pick up…}
{Please? Steeljaw? Steeljaw, what's wrong? You almost never say please.}
Steeljaw couldn't help the relieved laugh that left his voice box.
SJ: {Moonracer! By Primus, thank the stars you answered! I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get through.}
MR: {Steeljaw, you're scaring me. What's going on? Are the others alright? Are you alright? Of course you're not alright; you actually said please!}
SJ: {Moonracer, listen to me! I'll explain everything later, but could you just calm down long enough to send me a ground bridge? Preferably right now.}
MR: {Yeah. Hold on.}
Steeljaw stopped running and hid behind a tree, anxiously awaiting for a ground bridge to appear.
While talking to Moonracer, Steeljaw was still listening to his surroundings. He was certain that Bumblebee and the others were following him, but now that he had a moment to regulate his vents, realized that they hadn't followed him. Or maybe they just gave up.
Either way, the whole thing was freaking Steeljaw out.
A bridge portal appeared close to Steeljaw's hiding spot. Taking one last look around, he rushed through, right into the safety of the ship.
"Anything?"
"Not yet. And didn't I tell you to get some rest?"
"Can't."
"Why?"
"Because… I just can't."
"Why?"
Steeljaw temporarily kept his mouth shut. He wanted Moonracer to get off his case and back to analyzing the results of the tests she performed on him shortly after his return, but at the same time, he didn't want to tell her why he couldn't rest. Even if she was the only one on this ship that he actually trusted, – the exception being himself, of course – he wouldn't tell her. Not about him.
"It's personal," Steeljaw answered simply and truthfully.
"Oh," Moonracer said, averting her gaze. "I'm guessing it has something to do with whatever you saw out there?"
"None of your business!"
Steeljaw flinched at the tone with which he spoke. He didn't mean to snap like that. He looked up to see Moonracer staring at him, her optics alight with concern.
"Sorry," Steeljaw apologized, looking off to the side to avoid staring at the femme.
"It's alright," Moonracer reassured. "I shouldn't have pried into anything personal like that. My apologies."
The mech and femme sat together in silence, waiting for something to happen.
The something arrived in the form of a super loud, super annoying beeping as the test results came back.
"Finally!" Moonracer applauded, rushing straight for the console on the opposite side of the room.
"I'd be just as happy if it weren't for this infernal noise!" Steeljaw growled, lowering his ears against the loud sound.
"Sorry, sorry! Just give me a nanoklik!"
A few seconds felt agonizingly longer to Steeljaw, whose hearing was a lot more sensitive than almost all other Cybertronians.
"Ah, there we go!" Moonracer piped. She turned to look at Steeljaw. "Better?"
"I think I'll be hearing that stupid thing 24/7 for the next week or so," Steeljaw said, rubbing his still ringing ears. "These test results of yours better be worth my pained audio receptors."
"I hope so, too."
Moonracer started scanning through what was on the screen. Steeljaw glimpsed bits and pieces, but he didn't understand them the same way an experienced medic such as Moonracer would.
"Oh no."
The femme's response was not one Steeljaw was expecting, let alone liked.
"What?"
"According to this, it appears that the atmosphere of Phoria contains a toxin that has an anesthetic effect. Prolonged exposure leads to the victim losing consciousness and falling into a state of sleep, or in our case, recharge."
So far, things seem to be making sense.
"However, it appears that there may be something else, living in or as a part of the air itself. Like parasites, microscopic spores embed themselves in their hosts and prey on their dreams and fears. The more of the substances that some believe cause thoughts and feelings are devoured, the stronger the invaders become. Once they have enough power, they are able to control their host however they please."
A little disturbing… okay, very disturbing. Still, at least things couldn't possibly get any worse.
"Meanwhile, the spores trap the victim's conscience in a realm of nightmares and negative emotions. This steady, constantly circulating supply of energy is what helps them to keep control over their host."
And I should know better by now not to say or think of things like that.
"In most cases, the victims will..."
Moonracer stopped talking and buried her helm in her servos. Steeljaw leaned over the femme and placed a reassuring servo on her shoulder plate, attempting to comfort her while also finishing the reading in silence.
"Hey, Moonracer?" Steeljaw whispered, a thought coming to mind.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you think I wasn't affected?"
Moonracer regulated her vents and straightened herself in her seat. She looked up at Steeljaw, who still kept his servo on her shoulder.
"Well, I mean, it probably did, at first, but my best guess is that you somehow broke free of the control," Moonracer explained.
"The results point to them being able to feed off of one's fears."
"I guess you weren't intimidated, or afraid, or whatever they wanted you to be."
"Maybe. When I was… in the other place… I knew something was wrong. When I saw him… I knew it wasn't real."
This time, Moonracer didn't ask for further details. She sat there, quietly, waiting for Steeljaw to continue.
"Then I woke up. The others weren't so lucky."
silence
"I think I might know how to get rid of them," Moonracer said.
"How?" Steeljaw asked.
"As much as I would love to explain, we don't have time for that. Come on!"
Moonracer jumped out of her seat, grabbed Steeljaw's arm, and dragged him along on her way to the hangar, where crates full of spare supplies were being kept. Steeljaw decided not to question Moonracer as she directed him on what to grab and to put where. They worked quickly and efficiently. Soon, their new device was up and running.
"You think this will work?" Steeljaw questioned.
"Probably not, but it's better than nothing!" Moonracer chirped, sifting through vials of chemicals.
"What are you doing now?"
"Plan B, just in case the machine doesn't work."
"Right. And Plan B is..?"
Moonracer turned and gave Steeljaw a sheepish smile.
"You probably don't want to know."
This time, Steeljaw allowed a shiver to run along his backplates.
"Listen, I know my way around a lab, and this little concoction should be a cinch. If anything, you should worry about yourself."
"Trust me, I've been through way worse than this. I'll be fine. Just make sure you're at the ground bridge controls for, you know..."
"Yeah, I do."
Steeljaw was about to leave, when Moonracer raced forward and hugged him. The Lupicon was extremely confused. What was he supposed to do?
"Please be careful, Steeljaw," Moonracer said, her voice barely audible against Steeljaw's chassis. The Lupicon relaxed and returned the embrace.
"You, too, Moon."
Steeljaw had a plan of attack ready the second he stepped out of the ground bridge: get Knockout first, then Bumblebee and Starscream.
Having a second medic around would be a big help to Moonracer. Also, Knockout was her mentor and is still a close friend; having him nearby, even unconscious, might bring her some comfort. Not to mention, he would be the easiest to track down and catch. The amount of soaps and oils and waxes he uses to look prim, proper, and pristine give off their own unique scents. It also helps that Knockout is the second smallest of the group.
Finding him, knocking him out, and handing him off to Moonracer was easy enough. Now came the hard part.
While Starscream would be easier to find than Bumblebee, he would be harder to catch, due to his ability to fly. At least, that's what Steeljaw originally thought. Little did he know that Starscream would divebomb him out of nowhere. Good thing he was on high alert, or else he wouldn't have been able to avoid the crashing Seeker.
Thankfully, Starscream survived the crash-landing, and luckily for Steeljaw, was too damaged to put up much of a fight. He passed him on to Moonracer, then returned to the hunt for Bumblebee.
"Alright, this is ridiculous. Where is he?"
Steeljaw had been searching for hours, exhaustion creeping up on him. He had caught whiffs of Bumblebee here and there, but nothing concrete. Moonracer checked in every hour, and each time, Steeljaw had to give her the bad news. She wanted to track the signal from her end, but that would mean spending more time away from her patients. Steeljaw told her that he would be fine, that he could find Bumblebee on his own, and that she should be focused on Knockout and Starscream.
Moonracer reported that the two mechs were still unconscious, but stable. The treatment was working. Steeljaw just hoped they weren't too late for Bumblebee. Sure, the Lieutenant grinded his gears, but still, the Lupicon couldn't imagine life without the yellow and black mech.
"I swear, Bumblebee, if you die on me here and now..."
Steeljaw didn't get to finish. He heard the aggressive rustling of bushes and dodged out of the way just in time to avoid Bumblebee's ambush. The Lupicon turned around, claws at the ready. Bumblebee recovered and faced Steeljaw. The blank optics still creeped Steeljaw out.
"Primus, I'm never going to get over that."
Bumblebee charged Steeljaw again, and again, Steeljaw dodged. He didn't even have to try hard. This wasn't the Lieutenant; just a shell being controlled by microorganisms that probably didn't even have brains, processors, or the like to work with.
"Alright, enough playing around! If I'm going to fight the Lieutenant, he's going to have to be himself, not..."
Steeljaw cut himself off with a sudden cry of shock and pain. He shut his optics tight, gritted his fangs, and fell to his knees. He looked up at Bumblebee standing over him, then to his shoulder, where the Lieutenant's Decepticon hunter-turned-sword was stabbed into. Energon leaked from the wound, gliding down his armor and pooling in the crevice of the servo that automatically reached for the injury. A low growl escaped him as he laid his golden glare upon Bumblebee.
"You. Are. Dead."
Ignoring all that ails him, Steeljaw retaliates with all his might, but without killing Bumblebee. A few powerful blows, and Bumblebee is down and out.
"Finally," Steeljaw vented, then collapsed. He stifled a whimper as he pressed a claw to his commlink.
{Moonracer… I need a ground bridge.}
Bumblebee didn't immediately wake-up so much as he slowly came-to. Groggy, sore, and dizzy; not a pleasant combination. He gave himself some time to adjust before attempting to move.
"Oh… what happened?" Bumblebee asked, rubbing his helm. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the berth.
"I wouldn't get out of bed, if I were you."
Bumblebee opened his optics and spotted Knockout and Starscream in their own berths next to his. Starscream was lying down, servos folded on his chassis. Knockout sat hunched over, arms resting on crossed legs. Both were returning his gaze.
"Why not, aside from this dizzy spell?" Bumblebee questioned, giving a slight shake of his helm. "By the way, why are we all here?"
"Don't know," Starscream answered.
"Huh. Last thing I remember was us exploring..."
"And then we woke up here," Knockout interrupted.
"In the ship's medical area," Starscream added.
silence
"Oh, good, you're all awake."
It was Moonracer. The femme had just entered the med-bay, a data pad clutched in both servos. She appeared absolutely exhausted.
"Moonracer? What happened?" Bumblebee asked.
"You look terrible," Starscream commented.
"Starscream!" Knockout snapped.
Moonracer, however, didn't seem the least bit fazed. A tired, half smile formed on her faceplates.
"It's alright, Knockout, Starscream's just ~ *yawn* ~ pointing out the obvious," Moonracer replied. All the mechs were concerned for her well-being.
"Jeez, Moonracer, you really need some recharge," Knockout said. "When was the last time you got any?"
"Don't know. Been a little busy with everything."
"Well, where's Steeljaw?" Bumblebee demanded. "If he's not here, then he must be fine. Shouldn't he be helping?"
Moonracer didn't answer. She kept her mouth shut. The silence did nothing to soothe the mechs; it made things worse.
"Moonracer?" Knockout asked, reaching out to the femme. Moonracer looked at the outstretched servo. She sighed, then grabbed hold of her friend for support.
"Steeljaw… I just came back from his quarters… after performing emergency surgery on him," Moonracer explained, her frame shaking. The mechs exchanged shocked looks with one another.
"Is he going to be alright?" Bumblebee asked.
"I think so. I don't know. Honestly, I was so tired, I'm not sure if I did everything correctly."
"It's alright, Moonracer, I know you did your best," Knockout reassured his former apprentice. "I'll check on him later for you, alright?"
"Yeah. Thank you, Knockout."
He knew Moonracer was beyond exhausted, and needed recharge desperately, but Bumblebee still needed to know one thing.
"What happened?" Starscream asked, as if he was reading Bumblebee's mind.
All optics were focused on Moonracer once again. She became a little more awake just for that moment. She shifted her pedes before locking optics with Bumblebee.
"What?" Bumblebee asked, dreading the answer he knew was coming.
"Well, to make a long story short, you were experiencing a phenomenon similar to that of a night-terror, and while Steeljaw was trying to save you, bring you back to the ship for treatment like he did with Knockout and Starscream, you stabbed him with a sword."
Bumblebee couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I… nearly killed Steeljaw? But I… I didn't have a sword!"
"No, but you do have a Decepticon hunter," Starscream pointed out.
"Bumblebee, during your night-terror, did you imagine using a sword?" Knockout inquired.
"I… I was fighting… fighting Unicron," Bumblebee stuttered. "He… he took over… Optimus, and… and he… he had his sword and… I didn't mean to! I was just defending myself! I didn't know!"
Bumblebee cupped his faceplates in his servos, not wanting the others to see him cry. A pair of servos wrapped around his body in a comforting embrace, gingerly rubbing his frame to calm him down.
"I didn't know," Bumblebee whimpered.
"Don't worry, it's going to be okay," Moonracer whispered soothingly. "Steeljaw knows you didn't mean to. He knows that none of this was anyone's fault. However..."
Moonracer pulled away from Bumblebee and walked back to the med-bay doors.
"I expect you all to be a little nicer to Steeljaw from now on, and take it easy on him for the next few missions. After he risked his life to save your sparks, he deserves a little compassion."
Steeljaw tossed and turned in his berth, the events from the previous mission still bothering him. Unable to stay in recharge, he pushes himself into a sitting position.
Bad idea.
He bites back a howl as pain shoots throughout his frame from his shoulder. It was patched and stopped leaking Energon, which was good, but Steeljaw was still in pretty bad shape. Not to mention, Moonracer was half way to recharge when she worked on him. She was good, but not good enough to work through her exhaustion. Steeljaw couldn't blame her, and he didn't; she tried her best, and he was still alive. A win-win in his optics.
Lowering himself a little, Steeljaw turned and noticed something that wasn't there before. On the table next to his berth, where he kept a data pad and some trinkets for restless bouts of recharge such as this one, were three full cubes of Energon, and an unfamiliar data pad. Steeljaw reached for the device and turned it on. Words flashed before his optics.
Steeljaw, we heard about what happened, and we just wanted to thank you for saving us. Since you will be recovering for a while, we decided not to bother you, but if you need anything, just call. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Again, thank you, for saving our lives. We owe you.
It was signed by three mechs: Knockout, Starscream, and Bumblebee.
Steeljaw re-read the letter a few more times, then looked up at the Energon cubes. When his gaze fell back on the data pad, he smiled.
"You're welcome."