"We didn't find anything, not a hint." Eoin kicked at a loose stone by his feet, looking sheepishly at the ground rather than daring to meet the glower of his captain.
Koda was no better as he toyed with the end of his braid, his soft cerulean gaze to the side as he avoided Fallon's equally heavy stare. "We searched high and low but there wasn't a peep."
"And Gandriel?"
The two boys exchanged a glance, something akin to fear blooming in their eyes before they turned their attention back to their captains, shaking their heads.
"Useless fucking invalid—" Celeste snarled, fury building in the pit of her stomach. Of all the stupid, immature, selfish stunts to pull . . . why, why could he never take anything seriously?
"Tell me exactly what the barkeep told you again. Everything," Fallon interjected, hands on her hips, looking for all the world like a mother interrogating her children for the truth, coaxing siblings to rat out the instigator.
"He said he saw Gandriel come in and chat with every female there." Koda sent a sympathetic look toward an agitated-looking Anelisse, her pale brow arching dangerously. "Then proceeded to drink the bulk of their mead before sweeping up a sweet looking blonde and disappearing out the door."
Fallon sighed and rubbed at her eyes as Vaerek snorted behind her, sounding like he wasn't the least bit surprised. Sneaking a look at her sister, Celeste felt a flick of satisfaction at the calm fury on Anelisse's face. The male was in deep shit and sinking quickly.
She was going to kill him, slowly.
That was, if Anelisse got her hands on him before Celeste did.
Having heard enough, she turned sharply on her heel and made her way onto the gangplank of the Loreley, her mind made up. If he was going to continue to act like an immature child then she certainly had the right to regard him as such.
He was an adult, he'd find his way back . . . eventually.
"But Captain," Eoin's voice called behind her, "we have to go find him, we can't just leave—"
"Eoin, we don't have time to waste combing this Cauldron-forsaken village for an irresponsible drunk idiot who can't be bothered to find his way back." She turned back, casting a glance to the brightening sky, they were running out of time, quickly, "I don't care to stick around while gossipy fishermen wake up and have time to wonder whose ships these are. And every single person trapped aboard those ships doesn't have time for us to wait for nonexistent information while they're being dragged off to Mother knows where, when we could be out looking for them."
Celeste strode up the length of the ship, her men looking at her with subdued fear as she passed them, boots clicking. "He can winnow; he can either find us or find his way home. I want us out of here in half an hour."
She paused, eyes narrowing at a flash of movement between two barrels, a blur of orange and a flash of green, "And where the hell did this cat come from?"
(Feyre)
I stood in the cabin of a great ship that bobbed on churning water, sailing the expanse of a dark sea. The stench of brine saturated the air as the sound of slapping waves echoed through the wooden structure.
Alone.
Somehow I felt utterly alone.
Shivering against the damp cold, I glanced around the small cabin, nearly bare of contents but somehow familiar.
This is home now, a soft, tinkling voice whispered in the distance. This is where we belong, they won't find us here.
The voice woke something in my subconscious, a familiar tone I could not place.
A flicker of movement caught my attention. Turning, I found a single lily unfurling on the nightstand by my knee, a pinprick of glowing silver at its center. I peered closer, curious. At the flower's center, a tiny glowing caterpillar gnawed gently at the petals, its soft body curling and uncurling as it ate.
Gently, I reached down a hand and lifted the creature into my palm, its iridescent glow basking the room in a cool silver hue. It nestled into the warmth of my hand, its glow growing brighter.
There was something I needed to find.
Someone.
Celeste.
Out of instinct I slipped from the room into a long, narrow hallway shrouded in darkness. As though sensing my need, the caterpillar grew bright, lighting the way before me. Not knowing which way to go, I turned left and began my trek.
It seemed like hours that I walked the halls of the ship, only the single glowing caterpillar held gently in my hand to light the way as I wandered aimlessly. The walls were lined with tattered portraits, torn and dingy, all of them of her. Each one a cherished memory but warped, filled with a sense of surrealism and contorted frighteningly, the scenes twisted so severely they were almost beyond recognition.
My daughter's violet eyes stared damningly at me, full of a malice that nearly had my knees wobbling. You, they seemed to cry, You have done this.
So I walked silently with the portraits' gaze upon me, their features twisted in wrath, until I came upon a painting at what appeared to be the end of the hallway, large enough as to take up nearly the entire length of the wall.
Lifting the caterpillar, I looked the scene over and felt my blood run cold.
A great shadowed beast held Celeste in its arms, blood dripping down her back as it held her wings aloft above its head like a trophy, baring its teeth in victory. That beast, that form, I'd know it anywhere-
"He took them from me, you know."
My heart stopped in my chest as a jolt of shock raced through me. Celeste.
Wheeling about, I found her standing before me, her eyes red as she looked up at me, tears streaming down her face.
"There were mine and he took them, like he took my life."
It was her but not, like the foggy memory of an apparition, her face filthy and clothes soaked, water dripping sluggishly onto the floor. An orange tabby wound between her legs, curling its tail protectively around her dirty calf.
Only her eyes remained bright, full of a sadness that even I could not fathom.
Corpse, it was her corpse.
My heart guttered in my chest as the breath fled me. No words came.
Tentatively, she reached up a swollen, pale hand to a tattered piece, a painting of what I assumed had once been Cenric playing a piano but had warped into a shadowed figure sitting before the gaping maw of a beast.
"He won't find us again." She snapped her violet eyes towards me, hatred filling their depths. "None of you will."
Before I could react I found myself falling, plummeting towards a dark surface, excruciating pain tearing through my back and fear consuming me entirely.
Papa, why?
The thought barely registered in my frantic mind before I hit the surface of the water, the cold so icy it immediately tore the breath from my lungs. Tumbling I felt myself be pooled into the depths of the frozen water, like a monster dragging me to its depths.
Please, I heard her voice scream, Someone, please—
I saw Azriel through her eyes, the shadows at his shoulders, Cassian and his broad wings and the scent of the roses she loved so much, heard the pleas as she cried out for them, willing them to save her, wondering why they hadn't come.
Saw as she remembered my sisters and I, the flashes of Mor and Amren. The love that filled her at the thought of her father—
Then the voices.
Their voices.
He broke you, the voices hissed. He shattered you, you will never be whole again. Abandoned, you were abandoned—
Fighting the water I thrashed, trying desperately to reach the surface. In my attempts I turned and found myself staring into violet eyes, this time wide and frantic, and looking every bit like the leshka had portrayed her and fighting like hell to stay afloat
Like a string going taut I felt a pulse rush through me, a wave of energy full of life and magic. Her eyes snapped to mine, wide in surprise.
I woke in an instant after the dream, my mind reeling at what I'd felt and seen.
Real it had felt entirely too real. Without thought I nearly winnowed from the couch where I'd dozed off to find my mate to tell him, to ask what he thought—but then I stopped myself.
How long could this go on for?
How long could I let my mind drag me back and forth over something that had long since concluded?
I sat and pondered it for a time, wondering just how far my mind was willing to go to fill in the gaps of her final moments, how far my already fractured thoughts were willing to reach to try and convince me that she was still there.
And, in that moment, I decided I would dwell on it no longer.
Decided that I would not even mention such an atrocity to Rhys, even the thought of the bastards using his image in her final moments—
No, I wouldn't drag him down such a path of misery.
Life was to go on, without her, and things were to return to normal, or as normal as they could be without Cenric home.
I thought of my absent son as I rose, shaking off the lingering horrors of the dream, and made my way to the kitchen. My mate had informed me that our son was well enough in his isolation in the Steppes, and I'd seen that myself when I'd peeked through to witness his tattooing.
He'd worn the markings with such pride, even if he had lost weight and had looked somewhat worse for wear.
Perhaps with time that wound would close too.
Stepping into the sun-drenched room, I found my sister poring over an array of sketches, various seating arrangements, and menus.
Glancing up at me through bronze lashes, her caramel eyes widened a bit.
"Are you all right, Feyre? I heard you thrashing while you slept . . ."
I offered her an easy smile, willing my nerves to settle, especially as I felt the tell-tale pull of my mate on the other end of the bond, no doubt prodding to see what had launched me out of my sleep. I wouldn't do this to him, to any of them, any longer.
"Yes, just remnants of . . ." I sighed through my nose, gesturing half-heartedly. "Everything."
Elaine nodded her head in understanding, compassion filtering over her features. She held out a hand and gestured to the table before her.
"Would you like to join?"
I nodded at my sister and made to sit across from her, leveling my gaze at the piles and piles of paper scattered over the wood. I slipped my fingers beneath the nearest menu and glanced through the contents, raising a brow.
"This sounds . . . interesting."
A blush danced across Elaine's cheeks as she quickly snatched the menu from my hands, looking a bit guilty.
"I just want everything to be perfect," she ran her fingers gently over the page, "though perhaps pickled capers, sweet cream and honey aren't the right choice for that, although the caterer swears by them . . ."
I smiled at her, trying to be reassuring.
"I'm sure whatever you end up choosing will be perfect." Mother knew the dresses that she'd selected for Nesta and myself certainly were, having been fitted for them only a few days before. A few . . . creative . . . food choices certainly wouldn't spoil the event.
"I hope so."
Shuffling the papers, Elaine shook her head, her brow furrowing slightly.
"What is it?"
"Cenric needs to be fitted for his jacket, and, well . . ." My sister actually looked frumpy, the slightest tick of annoyance on her face. "He's off in the wilderness doing who knows what. I do hope he'll at least come home for the wedding."
I almost apologized to my sister for his absence but settled for reassurance.
"I'm certain he wouldn't miss it for the world, even despite his anger with me."
"I wonder what he's even doing out there."
I sighed, frowning out at the sun-drenched garden. "Hopefully staying safe."
"This is a fucking terrible idea," Valka grumbled as she knelt behind the boulder, her head just peeking above it. "There's no way this is going to work."
"Shut up and stick to the plan," Cenric hissed in return, running his hand absentmindedly through his already mussed hair before reaching for the rope at his waist. "It'll only work if we do it together."
Valka rolled her eyes but knelt closer, clasping her hands around her own piece of rope. When had her self-preserving isolation turned into a game of "what stupid shit can we get into today with the High Lord's son"?
This was absolutely ridiculous, one of the worst ideas he'd had yet.
And, somehow, she was still helping him.
"Is this really necessary?"
"Entirely. We have to do this."
Valka contemplated slamming her face into the rock before her, annoyance soaking her very being. Wasn't she supposed to be hiding? Pretending that she'd fucked off to the ends of the earth, never to be seen again?
She groaned. "Fine, give the signal when you're ready then."
The male nodded, before leaning forward and peering across the field at their target as it roved lazily across the grassy meadow, turning its head to and fro, utterly oblivious to their impending attack.
"Cut to the right and I'll take the left flank - we can herd her against the outcrop." Cenric pointed a bandaged finger at the sheer cliffside on the far side of the valley. The linen wrap only served as another reminder to Valka of the unending shit she'd been subjected to the past few weeks - he'd injured himself that morning while mindlessly carving a chunk of wood. "If you can keep her distracted I'll go in for the final blow."
Valka stared at him for a minute, processing the sound of excitement in his tone, the utter delight in his cobalt eyes.
Happiness, that was pure happiness.
She'd never once seen him look so . . . bright.
Her resolve to tell him he was a fool faltered. She sighed.
"Fine."
Another star twinkled to life in his dark cobalt eyes as he held his hand up and began a countdown with his fingers, dropping one, then two, then three-
They both erupted from behind the rock, their fae agility sending them soaring across the clearing as they honed in on the lone mountain goat in the field. She froze for a moment in shock before a bleating scream tore from her and she bolted away from them.
Rolling her eyes, Valka swerved to the right as instructed, flaring her wings to glide over a dip in the ground as she cut the goat off from leaving the valley. Seeing her one of escape routes blocked, the poor creature wheeled back and shot off in Cenric's direction, nimbly avoiding the rope Valka halfheartedly tossed at her.
"Aim higher!" Cenric called over the grass, his lean legs sending him flying across the field as he swung his own rope overhead, his once mutilated shoulder pivoting as though it had never been injured.
Lucky that'd he'd gotten to keep the appendage.
Lucky that somehow, through all of this, she was still breathing.
Valka watched as Cenric tossed his lasso towards the small grey nanny who quickly dove to the right, completely missing his attempt at catching her.
Or perhaps not that lucky, if this nonsense was going to continue.
This was their third attempt at catching one of these elusive bastards. They'd been at this since sunup; it was now well past noon. How they were being bested by furry, bleating sacks of skin she wasn't certain she wanted to know or even acknowledge.
The fact that the little lord had forbidden the use of wings or magic might have had something to do with it though.
A filthy curse slipped past Cenric's lips that had one of Valka's eyebrows quirking.
Did he really want cheese that badly?
Sensing the creature veering back towards her, Valka readied her rope again, determined to finally catch one of the slick little creatures so her new cave-mate would finally shut up and she could have a blissful nap. Perhaps she could even convince him to return to his own little makeshift camp.
Not that her attempts to do so over the previous weeks had been of any use. On the contrary, he'd happily moved in, spouting some bullshit about "safety in numbers."
Horseshit.
Valka watched the swerving path of the panicking creature with a predator's intent as it fled straight towards her. Twisting her rope in her hands, she slid abruptly to a stop and planted her feet and carefully aimed for the goat. Her solitude, and possibly her sanity was on the line with this one-
She let out an unflattering yelp as tightness wrapped suddenly around her, wings and all, yanking her off her feet as she tumbled forward, face first into the grass.
He was a fucking fool.
Cenric had missed the goat entirely and had instead roped her.
Valka watched in horror as the goat slipped off towards the side of her, bleating in panic as it raced down the valley and out of sight. The third one of the morning gone, just like that.
Frantic footfalls rushed toward her as she rolled over onto her back, seething as she clamored upright. That was it, they weren't hunting any more goats-
"Valka, are you—?" Cenric came up short, something like guilt flickering to life in his eyes, even as a smile bloomed on his face.
She'd had enough.
This idiocy was only going to cost her life and his too.
"DO I LOOK ALL RIGHT?!" she snarled at him, frantically working her way out the rope and pulling it over her head before tossing it to the side and jumping to her feet. She marched toward him, balling her fists at her sides, determined to show the dapper little prince a lesson in the consequences of being stupid—
He chuckled.
The sound was enough to halt Valka's advance, even as her eyes narrowed further and she hissed through her teeth.
She'd never heard him laugh, not truly.
The sound quickly turned into a deep rumble before he threw his head back and cackled, his hands covering his face as he took her in.
He was mocking her.
Oh, he was dead.
"See something funny, pretty boy?"
She was going to take that rope and string him up with it. She'd leave him for the crows to pick at while she went and actually did something productive.
Her internal mutilation plans came to a halt though as he snorted, his shoulders shaking. It wasn't long before he was gasping for air, doubled over and red in the face.
Valka felt her eyebrow twitch.
"It's just," he managed to gasp out, even as his whole frame shook with amusement, "that was meant for the goat and," there were tears streaming down his cheeks, "I hit you, and you just went down, and there's grass all over your face, and—"
He lost it again.
Valka couldn't even bring herself to hit him and instead chucked the rope at his face.
All of this so the little bastard could make cheese.
Her life was in shambles.
They'd finally caught the goat after six failed attempts when Cenric had at last permitted her to fly after the damned creature. She wasn't even going to acknowledge the black eye she'd somehow acquired.
She'd finally snagged the little bitch, even if she'd earned a nasty bite in the process.
Another bruise added to her collection, all because the pretty prince refused to use his magic "on principle."
At least he wasn't a demon incarnate.
Glancing sidelong, she half contemplated tripping him, sending him and the new pet reluctantly tucked up under his arm tumbling down the hillside and into the ravine below. Perhaps she'd just kill the goat and roast it, that would certainly be punishment enough for the fool.
"See something you like?"
Valka did a double take at the purr that slipped past the pricks mouth, his cobalt eyes twinkling in amusement. What was he getting at?
". . . Excuse me?"
He immediately averted his gaze, pink tinging his cheeks. Good, it was best he knew exactly where he stood with her. Grumbling, she strode further ahead, avoiding eye contact. They needed to reach the cave before the sun vanished below the horizon.
"I am sorry," he muttered behind her, sounding sheepish and sincere, a tone foreign to her, "especially about the black eye." She could hear the smile in his voice. "I have a salve that should take care of it."
She snorted.
"Maybe if you'd just used your magic to winnow to the damned thing, it wouldn't have happened." Valka hadn't even noticed the ancient pine when she'd dived for the goat, successfully herding her straight to Cenric but also slamming face first into the trunk. "Or, better yet, aren't you daemati? You could have brainwashed her straight into your arms."
"Like I told you before, that's cheating. It's unfair to use magic to hunt an animal that has no way of countering it. And you know I'm not using my power."
She rolled her eyes. "As you've told me numerous times before."
"Besides, I would never tear into a creature's mind so carelessly. It'd be irresponsible."
The absurdity of the thought nearly had Valka cackling as her mind spiraled into memories she'd long since shoved away of two males who'd never held such a code. Power existed to be used and abused, damn anyone who stood in the way.
"What a noble sentiment, coming from a daemati." She snorted. "I've never known anyone with that power to be respectful, why would you? You could have anything you want."
Cenric slowed behind her, his eyes boring into the back of her skull. "What do you mean?"
Valka stopped, debating the risk of her next words, then whirled on him. "Why are you still here, Cenric? You could dive straight into my mind and rip out anything you want to know, and with your power, there would be nothing I could do about it." A mirthless laugh. "Hell, with half a whisper, you could have me flying straight back to camp to turn myself in, confess all my sins, dance a fucking jig . . . anything you wanted. So why the fuck are you still here following me around like a damned puppy?"
The crunch of pine needles halted as Cenric stopped dead. "Valka . . ."
Valka hadn't realized how hard she was breathing or that her wings had flared wide behind her defensively. She agilely tucked them back against her back.
Was there any point in hiding from him? She turned back to their path, mindlessly pulling at a branch of a low-hanging tree, pulling it out of her way as she slowly stepped beneath it. What did she honestly have to lose at this point? Better to tell him of her own free will than have it torn from her.
"Idrius and Icarius never had such reservations." She released the branch and kept walking, her shoulders going rigid as her wings tensed. "Not with their . . . training."
"Your brothers."
Not a question.
"They reveled in torturing the females in the camp, especially their dear little sister." She chuckled bitterly. "Nothing quite like waking up after they'd taken control and made me do something that would result in a whipping. They certainly got their amusement from it."
She'd never forget the swirling darkness of their power as they'd drowned out all will of her own, the sting of the lash across her wings, the disappointed and angry eyes that watched as her punishment was dealt out, the way they would laugh.
Would never forget the last time they'd used her as a play thing, bending her will to their own desires-
She hadn't seen them or Silbah since that night so many years ago.
She slammed down on the memory, demanding its silence.
A hand landed gently on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean . . ." He squeezed lightly. "Are you all right?"
She was no helpless maiden.
"Fuck off." Valka shrugged out of Cenric's hold, her stomach tying in knots as she resumed walking. "I don't need comfort. Besides," she turned and offered him a smile harsher than she felt, one she knew deep down that those gleaming eyes saw beneath. "they got what was coming to them. They all did, and good riddance."
She stepped forward, keenly aware of the deepening shadows as the sun slipped away, but Cenric caught at her gloved fingers with his free hand and held her back. For a moment she debated punching him, but the thought vanished as he caught her gaze.
"I . . . I would never." He let her go and she took a step back, away from that vibrant blue. Cenric lowered his eyes and hefted the disheveled goat under his arm. "I want you to know that."