It was beautiful weather this morning, the sun was up and it was a warm day. It was still pretty early as Hawkeye sat in his chair. He was wearing his red bathrobe while nurturing a big cup of coffee.

The busy days seemed to be over for a while, so he was enjoying some free time before breakfast. Christopher was nowhere to be seen, but he knew where the boy was. Today was mail day and Chris always loved to help Radar with this particular task.

Of course Chris made sure Hawkeye had his first cup of coffee before he ran off. Hawkeye smiled at the thought, Chris was such a sweet kid.

And these days the boy's behavior was almost perfect. Chris seemed to be a bit more confident. Like just the other day, they were working in the O.R while Chris was working with his notebooks. They were working for hours so when Radar rushed in the Colonel asked the clerk about the paperwork that he was supposed to have finished already. Radar apologized, he hadn't started with the paperwork yet and told the man he would start as soon as he found some time for it.

"I can do it. "Chris's small voice sounded through the O.R.

"Ohh. That would be great! Radar said with a huge smile. "As long as Hawkeye thinks it's okay. "

"Fine by me. " Hawkeye replied. He was very proud of Chris for wanting to help. This would mean the boy must work somewhere other than the room he was in and that was something Hawkeye applauded. Chris was slowly becoming more confident.

"Colonel? " Radar asked as Chris collected his stuff and joined the clerk.

"Yeah that's fine. But any mistakes he makes are your responsibility. " Potter reminded Radar.

"No problem, Sir! Chris has done these a couple of times already. He knows what to do. " Radar said. Chris was beaming at the clerk's explanation and waved at his dad before he left.

Hawkeye took another sip of his coffee as he thought about how proud Chris himself was after his work that day. The child was overjoyed, especially after Hawkeye told him he was very proud of him. The boy smiled the whole day after that.

The Swamp door opened and he heard Radar's voice call out "Mail call!" before energetic small footsteps ran his way.

"Ahh the Shetland pony express." Hawkeye said with a grin.

"Hey dad. " Chris said as he threw his arms around the man's neck for a hug.

"Careful!" Hawkeye said laughing as he tried to keep his cup straight and save himself and his kid from coffee burns.

"Sorry, Papa, but we got mail!" Chris said as he let go of the man and handed him several magazines.

"Ohh… goodie goodie. " Hawkeye said excitedly as he unwrapped them and started flipping through them.

Radar handed BJ his mail as well.

Chris giggled as he sat down on his cot. "Dad! I've got so many letters!" He said with a grin.

"Ohh, yeah? " Hawkeye replied happily.

"Yeah! Dad, look at this! I've got five of them! " Chris said looking over his father

Hawkeye looked at his son for a second before looking back at the magazines in his hands and smiling fondly. "How did you get so many? Who did you write to? "

"This one is from Sister Mary Francis " The boy proudly declared as he showed his father the letter.

"Huh? Who is that?" Hawkeye asked. He looked at his son, his magazine now forgotten.

"Francis's sister!" Chris answered enthusiastically. "She writes me back all the time! It's so neat!"

"Why are you writing The priest's sister? " Hawkeye asked, maybe he should keep a closer watch at what Chris was writing and sending.

"I asked if she could explain the rules of basketball to me. Francis isn't the best at explaining it and he said she wouldn't mind. And she didn't, Dad! I've written to her a couple of times now and she always replies back. " Chris explained.

Hawkeye grinned as he put his attention back to his magazine. "As long as she doesn't mind, it's fine."

"And this one is from Radar's mom! " Chris said as he hurried to open the letter.

Hawkeye laughed "Really? Radar's mom? "

"Ohh yeah," Radar said with a grin. "she loves writing to him. Last time he asked about how she made the cookies she sended. I've got a whole paragraph about how she loved his letter in my last letter." Radar said as he shrugged.

"Cookies?" Hawkeye asked, "You don't know how to bake cookies."

"But I want to learn! But Igor wouldn't let me near the kitchen." Chris said as he looked at his dad disappointed.

"Good! I don't want you near an oven without at least some supervision. I will teach you that when we're back home. " Hawkeye explains.

"But dad! That is still forever away from now. " Chris said with a pout.

"Maybe, but maybe not." Hawkeye sighed, it made him sad that Chris didn't see the USA as his home, but he couldn't blame the boy. He just needed to show him that it was better to live somewhere where it was safe. Where they wouldn't have to worry about bombs or soldiers trying to kill them.

"Do you know how to make cookies? " BJ asked Hawkeye.

Hawkeye shrugged. "How hard can it be? " He had no idea how to bake anything, but he could find out. He was about to say more but Radar interrupted before he could.

"I hear something." Radar mumbled. Everyone was quiet for a second before the clerk declared he's hearing incoming choppers. Radar rushed out of the Swamp to get on the intercom to alert the rest of the camp.

"Darn it" Hawkeye snapped as he threw his magazines on his cot in slight rage and stood up. "Well time to get to work. "

He hated this work. It was nothing more than meatball surgery, patching these kids back together to send them into battle again. Not to mention the amount of wounded kids they had to save. This time they had to work throughout the day and night, with only short breaks to eat and in Hawkeye case putting Chris to bed as well.

Chris was disappointed that his dad was so busy but he understood it was important. He just didn't want to see Hawkeye go away, he wanted him here. But his dad was saving lives, how could he be mad about that. At least his dad made time to put him to bed, even though there wasn't any time for a story, it was still nice.

The next morning Chris woke up startled and looked over at his dad's cot with panic. His dad wasn't there and it took a couple of seconds before he realized his dad was probably still working. He took a couple of deep breaths and calmed down a little. On days like this he usually got dressed and collected his dad to eat breakfast together. And hopefully his dad will be finished soon.

Hawkeye and the other doctors walked out of the O.R after a long shift of saving lives.

Hawkeye groaned as he rested against the side of the building, just looking at the sun. He missed the sun during these long sessions. With more effort than he wanted to admit he stood up and managed to take a few steps forward to join BJ.

Chris happily trailed behind him. The boy wasn't as tired as Hawkeye was and he had to shush the excited child several times already.

They walked over to the Swamp and already heard the loud monstrous sound of Charles playing on his horn.

"How can he do that to us! " BJ said, outraged.

"No respect for the dead." Hawkeye mumbled as they went inside. He sat down on his cot and angrily pulled off his boots.

"Cut it off!" BJ yelled but Charles didn't even seem to hear him over the sound of his horn.

The loud horn was deafening and very off-key. Chris covered his ears and sat down. He couldn't even hear himself think, and of course the yelling of BJ and his dad didn't help.

At the lack of response Hawkeye got up and sat behind the loud blasting horn. He pulled off his sock and while Charles kept playing, put the dirty sock into the tube of the french-horn.

He gave Charles a smug grin when the man stopped playing and glared.

"Remove that sock! " Charles snapped.

"Ohh okay" Hawkeye said as he pulled off his second sock and dropped it next to the other into the French horn.

BJ chuckled "We're about to hear Pierce's unwashed symphony. "

Chris looked nervously at the adults, he didn't like the tension rising and it scared him a bit. He knew Charles could be a bit explosive on a bad day.

"Remove them." Charles said in an icy voice.

"What, me! Touch something that filthy? " Hawkeye replied "I'm a surgeon. "

"You are pushing me toward violence. " Charles replied, still with that icy voice.

Hawkeye jumped up and snapped. "Go ahead! Beat me to death! Just don't play that thing! "

Charles also jumped up, making Chris nervously start to fidget as the man told the other two doctors he will play that thing whenever he feels like it.

"Can't you play later? " Chris mumbled timidly.

Charles glared at him and he resisted the urge to run.

"Children should be seen and not heard." the man snapped.

Chris's mouth snapped shut and he immediately became pale so Hawkeye decided to interfere.

"You stay away from my kid, Charles! The only one I don't want to hear right now is you. "

"Let's hit the showers before we hit him. " BJ interrupted, they needed to calm down before this would escalate.

"Hear! Hear! It's about time the two of you bathed. " Charles said smugly.

They were almost out the door but that comment made them stop. "Oh! Do we offend you? " BJ said.

Chris stood close to his dad and let out a nervous humming sound. BJ felt for the kid, Chris was always nervous when people got mad or upset. Even loud and excited would make the child nervous.

"Constantly." Charles declared.

Hawkeye was livid but he was trying to keep calm for Chris's sake. He knew the boy was scared and he brushed the child's head affectionately.

"Your odor is taking the curl out of my horn." Charles replied arrogant.

BJ looked at Hawkeye and grinned. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "

"If you're thinking what I'm thinking. Are you thinking of stinking?" Hawkeye replied with a smirk.

They turned towards Charles and BJ said. "Make you a deal, Winchester. You knock off the horn, we shower. "

"And if I refuse? " Charles said as he looked at the two doctors as though they were lunatics.

"The more you blow, the worse we'll grow. " Hawkeye said. He was completely serious, if Charles wanted a war he could have one.

"Haven't you children learned yet that you can't intimidate me? " Charles replied smugly.

"Ohh yeah?" BJ said as he made his way back to his cot. "Wait'll we age a couple of days. "

And so it began. As Charles prevented them from sleeping, the next best thing they wanted to do was eat. So they went over to the mess hall to get some food.

Chris stood behind his dad and he wrinkled his nose at the smell of the man. The doctors had been working for hours on end, without any breaks so they already had a good start with their smelling war. His dad must be crazy for doing this. Who would want to be so dirty?

When it was his turn, he asked Igor for what he wanted on his tray. He was still angry at the man for sending him out of the kitchen. Not that he would be mean or less polite, he knew his dad wouldn't like it if he was rude to adults. But he was slightly tempted to walk away without a thank you.

It bothers him that his dad didn't want him unsupervised in the kitchen. He knew he could do it, it wasn't that hard. He just really wanted to prove to his dad that he could.

They sat down on their regular table and joined Potter, Margaret and the priest.

Hawkeye and BJ aren't bothered with their smell but Chris was nervous about it. He didn't mind that his dad stinks but he was a bit afraid about how other people would react to the fact. He sat down next to Hawkeye and watched as the first person sniffed the air.

"Did the wind just shift? " Margaret asked.

"It smells like the stables" The Priest said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Don't blame my horse, I just washed her down this morning. " Potter said. At that moment Hawkeye reached over to fetch the syrup from under Margaret's nose and it became clear that the smell came from him.

Potter glared at the man and said. "I guess you boys haven't had a chance to shower yet. "

"Oh, yeah. We had the chance. " Hawkeye said.

"We didn't shower anyway. " BJ added.

Potter glared at the two doctors like they were crazy. "I see. Any special reason, like it's national pig week? "

"Nope," BJ replied as he poured some syrup on his pancakes.

"You know, in one way you outrank me. " Potter told the man, making Chris giggle. "But not where it counts. Answer up! " He demanded.

So Hawkeye explains that it is a dirtiness strike, and that they will shower when their bunkie gives up his new horn.

"That's disgusting. " Margaret said.

Hawkeye wanted to respond to that but was interrupted by the intercom declaring more wounded on their way.

"Great!" Hawkeye said sarcastically as he threw his knife on his plate and looked over at his disappointed son. He felt a pang of guilt when he looked into those sad eyes. He sighed and gave the kid a kiss on the top of his head and went to help with triage.

Only an hour had passed and Chris was already bored out of his mind. He was sitting in the O.R on his regular chair and couldn't even look at his schoolwork anymore. He made so much of it these days, and he didn't want to write another word as well. He debated going to the officers club but he knew the pinball machine by heart by now and playing alone is just boring.

What he really wants to do is try to bake something and prove to his dad that he could make really good cookies. But he knew his dad wouldn't like it if he did that without supervision. He glanced over at his dad, the man was in the middle of a complicated operation and wasn't paying attention to him.

He sighed as he debated what to do. He really wanted to make those cookies. He knew he could do it, even without the chocolate Radar's mom requested.

After a while of nervous glances at his dad, he made up his mind and told his dad that he was going back to the Swamp. He quickly collected his stuff and headed out of the O.R before he could change his mind.

Inside the Swamp, he dropped his stuff on his cot and started pacing. He knew he would be in trouble if he tried, but he wanted to prove himself. And of course it seemed like so much fun to make cookies.

Without a second thought he slipped out of the Swamp and headed towards the kitchen. He looked inside carefully and was happy to find it empty. Dinner was still hours away and he should have some time alone. He felt giddy as he went looking for the ingredients. He was finally doing this!

Sugar and flour was easy to find, but his first problem arose when he found the powdered milk. Radar's mom didn't explain the ratio of the powder and water. He pondered about it for a second but decided to use a 50/50 ratio, so he threw a half glass of powder with the rest of his ingredients and added water. Next he added powdered eggs. He didn't know how much powder was supposed to be two eggs, but he added the amount he thought was right.

He grabbed a spoon and started stirring. He felt so proud, this was going great. He just needed to add more water as his mixture still looks like powder for the most part.

Someone cleared his throat loudly behind him making Chris jump around with a squeak as he dropped his bowl. The metal sounded loud as it connected with the floor. His heart stammered as he looked up at the angry expression of the cook.

"What are you doing here? Didn't Igor already tell you I don't want children in my kitchen? " The man snapped.

"Y-y-yes sir. I-I'm s-sorry. " Chris stammered.

The cook made a sort of growling sound before he said. "Well, what are you waiting for? Scram! "

Chris quickly passed the cook with a spacious arch and ran.

"I will make a complaint to your father!" The cook called after him before he continued complaining about kids making a mess.

Chris ran straight to the swamp and kicked off his shoes and crawled under his covers. Tears welled up and he angrily wiped them away. He was in so much trouble. His dad would be so angry when he finds out what he did. And he knew he had to tell him, and soon. If the cook started complaining to his dad, his dad would be mad at him for not telling him earlier.

He knew he had to get up, but he really didn't want to, he wanted to stay hidden. He sniffed and stayed under the blanket for a couple of minutes to calm down, before he finally decided it was enough and got up.

The walk to the O.R was too quick for his liking ,so he spent extra time scrubbing up. His stomach was doing flip-flops and he was trying to talk himself out of running back to the swamp and hide under his blankets again.

He heard several people complain about the smell and Margaret called Hawkeye and BJ dirty stinkers. On which the whole O.R agreed.

Chris sighed as he put on his mask, now he was ready to go inside. His stomach made one last flip as he opened the door and walked in.

His dad was trying to flirt with the nurse he was working with but the girl told him he literally stank. Chris walked up and pulled timidly on the man's shirt as Hawkeye tried to convince the girl to go out with him.

"D-dad? " he said softly.

"Hey Kiddo, " Hawkeye said, he immediately knew something was wrong, he could hear it in the child's voice. He couldn't lose sight of his work but the boy's voice was telling enough. "What's wrong? "

Chris took a deep breath and said "I-I n-need to tell you s-s-something."

"Okay, well what is it? " Hawkeye said.

His dad didn't look up from his work and Chris understood he couldn't.

"I'm s-sorry. " he said.

Hawkeye sighted and said "What did you do?" he must've sounded stern as Chris let out a small sob. The child wiped his eyes but didn't explain further.

"Christopher, what did you do? I need an answer. " Hawkeye said. He was already losing some of his patience,he had worked for days without much rest and he didn't have time for his naughty kid to procrastinate.

Chris grabbed his dad's shirt tight and closed his eyes, he took a quick breath and said. "I w-went t-to the kitchen, and tried to make cookies. "

The last part was barely more than a whisper but Hawkeye had heard it clearly.

"Great, just great!" Hawkeye said sarcastically as he threw the small piece of metal he just got out of his patient into the bowl with a loud clang. He saw Chris gulp in the corner of his eye. "After I told you, I didn't want you unsupervised in the kitchen, you went and did it anyway. " He snapped. He wasn't happy with the boy at all.

"Y-Yes s-sir. " Chris mumbled as he wiped his eyes.

"Let me guess, you got kicked out by Igor? " Hawkeye asked.

"The c-cook... " Chris mumbled.

"Ahh, so that's why the confession. " Hawkeye said. He knew the cook always complained if something was wrong with his kitchen. Or when naughty kids sneak in to steal food, which thankfully hadn't been Chris but some local boys.

"And on top of that you lied to me. " Hawkeye continued.

Hawkeye saw Chris look up at him startled and shook his head from the corner of his eye. "Oh yes, young man. You lied to me, you said you were going back to the Swamp and then you went to the kitchen to do stuff you weren't allowed to. " He said as he cast a quick glance at the boy. Chris's ears were beet red from under his mask and the boy looked at him with big teary eyes.

"I-I'm sorry" Chris whispered quickly. He really was sorry, he hadn't even thought about the fact he lied, which made it even worse.

"What have I told you about lying to me?" Hawkeye asked sternly, he was definitely angry with the boy. Chris should know better than to lie to him.

Chris felt his ears burn, he knew what his dad meant. The man always told him he would get spanked every time he lied to him, but that wasn't something he wanted to repeat. Especially not in a room full of his friends. The people around them were ignoring them for the time being but Chris knew they were listening.

"Christopher! " Hawkeye's angry tone snapped him out of his thinking. "You better answer me, right now. "

"That I will be p-p-punished if I'm lying. " Chris mumbled quickly as he looked at the ground. He hated this, why had he been so stupid to get in this situation to begin with.

"That's right. So why are you lying to me again? " Hawkeye said as he removed another piece of metal from the patient. The boy apologized again and pressed his face to his side with a sob. Hawkeye sighed and said "We'll talk about this later. " He felt Chris nod and heard a soft yes sir.

Chris started crying softly, he was in so much trouble and he hated that other people knew. He wanted to stay close to his dad but the smell was getting difficult to ignore. He moved away from the side and snuggled against the man's back instead. At least he wouldn't be near armpit range, because the smell made his eyes water more than they already were.

"I can arrange a 15 min break for you if you need it. " Potter told Hawkeye.

Chris grabbed his dad's shirt tighter and buried his face closer. He didn't want to do this right away, he didn't want to be in trouble at all.

"Can you make it 30?" Hawkeye responded, he heard Chris make a nervous humming sound.

At that moment father Mulcahy entered. "Good news everyone! No more wounded. " The priest said joyfully.

"Well that's good news." Colonel Potter said. "Pierce, I'll let you off the hook 30 minutes earlier if that helps. "

"Deal!" Hawkeye said. He needed some privacy for his talk with his son and he knew the other doctors wanted to go to sleep as soon as they were finished here.

His child stayed plastered against his back until he was released from duty. Chris had stopped crying, but was still sniffing softly. Hawkeye pulled off his gloves and guided Chris out of the O.R. They didn't say a word while they got dressed back into their normal clothes, but Chris kept sniffing the whole way back to the Swamp.

Hawkeye gave the boy a gentle but urgent push inside and crossed his arms.

Chris turned around and looked up at his dad nervously. His eyes were red and he was fidgeting with his shirt.

"I'm disappointed in you. " Hawkeye said.

"Y-yes sir. I'm sorry. " the boy mumbled, he looked completely heartbroken and Hawkeye wanted nothing more than to give him a hug. But he knew he couldn't let his kid get away with disobedience and lying. But the boy's behavior had been very good up to this point.

"Let's get this over with. " He said and grabbed Chris's bicep and walked him over to his chair. He didn't say anything as he opened the boy's pants and with a hand on the back of Chris's neck, bent the boy over the armrest of his lounge chair. Chris didn't resist, he knew his dad wouldn't change his mind.

His son was already crying as he got bent over and Hawkeye wondered if his kid was just sensitive sometimes or a bit dramatic. Yes he was about to be spanked but he wasn't going to kill the boy. Chris always cried a lot but sometimes it just seemed a bit much. Not that he would blame the boy, he knew spankings hurt from his own childhood, and he loved his son too much to make an issue about it.

Chris buried his face in his arms and let out a sob when he felt his pants get pulled down. His ears burned as his briefs followed and Hawkeye's hand pressed on his back, firm but gentle to keep him in place.

Hawkeye raises his hand and brings it down sharply for the first smack, making the boy yelp. "Ow!" The second came right after, this time harder than the first and Chris couldn't stop himself from reaching back with his hand to protect his cheeks.

He heard his dad sigh before the man grabbed his hand and held it locked on his lower back and resumed spanking him. This time a bit harder and faster which made him cry out and jump up a little with every smack. It really hurt and his dad kept a fast pace. "Please Dad, I'm sorry" he managed to get out between the sobs.

He felt tears streaming down his face and he could taste salt in his mouth. The heat in his backside kept rising and he tried to keep still but his legs moved on his own, kicking and hopping around, trying to aim his butt out of hitting range. "Ow! p-papa! " he stuttered between sobs.

Hawkeye ignored the kicking and continued at a steady pace, spanking, even though it broke his heart to do so. His son cried out with every smack and Hawkeye increased the force and speed, making his small target dark pink.

Chris whimpered softly and struggled as much as he could but it was no use so he gave up. He felt two harder smacks that made him jump but then suddenly nothing at all. The spanking had stopped and Chris blinked rapidly to try and get the water out of his eyes.

His dad let go of his arm and started stroking his back, letting him know the spanking was over. His hands traveled to his backside as he tried to get his sobbing under control.

Hawkeye gave the boy some time before he helped him up, put the child's underwear back in place and collected Chris's pants from the floor. Chris looked absolutely miserable, his eyes were red and tears were streaming over his face.

His dad developed him into a hug and Chris put his arms around him and immediately smelled the strong odor from his dad but he ignored it. He wanted to be hugged more, he needed that affection right now.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Hawkeye spoke up.

" I still want to know why you lied to me. I get that you wanted to make the cookies, but that can't be the only reason. It's not a good enough reason to lie to me. " Hawkeye said gently, brushing away a few stray pieces of blond hair.

"I'm sorry. " he mumbled into his dad's chest and closed his eyes when Hawkeye gently rubbed his back. It always felt good, no matter what he did or what happened he knew that he could count on his dad to forgive him and love him.

Hawkeye gave him a quick smack." Ow! Papa!" Chris whimpered as he tried to bury his face closer against the man.

"That's not an answer, Mister. " Hawkeye said. He moved Chris a step back to look into his eyes and gave him a stern look. " And if you don't want to bend over for another round, you better answer me. "

Chris turned bright red. He wiped his eyes and mumbled "I wanted to prove to you that I could. "

He managed to reduce his crying to a soft sniffing. He tried to snuggle closer and was relieved Hawkeye let him.

Hawkeye put his arms around the child again and said. "Kiddo, it's not that I think you can't. It's not you I don't trust, it is the army's devices I don't trust. Remember the heater that exploded? Everything from the army breaks and besides, you can't make good cookies with powdered milk or eggs." Hawkeye explains as he keeps stroking Chris's back. The boy was still sniffing softly and it made him feel a bit guilty. It wasn't a long spanking, he went easy on the boy as Chris's behavior had been very good uptil now and he even confessed what he did wrong.

"Ohh" Chris mumbled. He was relieved that his dad thought he could make cookies, but he felt a bit stupid for thinking he could with powdered eggs or milk.

Hawkeye held him tight but Chris started to pull away. The smell of the man was just too much.

"You stink. " He mumbled as he stepped away from his dad's arms. The moment he realized what he said he became rigid and looked up at his dad nervously.

Hawkeye sat down on his cot and just laughed as he reached over to brush the boy's blonde hair wildly. Making Chris sigh relieved before he started fixing his hair.

At that moment BJ and Charles came in. BJ dropped down on his cot exhausted while Charles walked over to his side.

Chris got bright red, but nobody mentioned anything about him getting into trouble so he relaxed a bit before getting tense again as Charles picked up his horn. Chris looked at his dad nervously. The man looked ready to explode.

Charles started playing and BJ and Hawkeye jumped up angry. "Shall we! " BJ said as he grabbed a vent.

"Ready when you are B.O" Hawkeye said as he and BJ stood in front of the ventilation. They pointed to vent towards Charles.

"Contact! " Hawkeye said. Bomb bay doors open, and... " Hawkeye put the machine on and said "Bombs away!" as he and BJ started waving their shirts.

Chris put his hand in front of his face to block the odor heading his way. The stench was awful, he didn't even know that people could smell that bad, and he smelled a lot of dirty people in his lifetime.

Charles kept on playing even though his eyes watered, and he looked like he was about to throw up.

Hawkeye and BJ doubled their efforts by moving their armpits in front of the vent and waving wildly with their shirts. This resulted in Charles letting go of his horn to catch his breath.

"We did it! " BJ said happily.

"We brought his lips to his knees. " Hawkeye replied with a grin.

Charles didn't respond but simply put on his surgeon mask in which he cut a hole to blow through and started playing again.

Hawkeye seemed to deflate in his defeat.

The door opened and Colonel Potter walked in. The man smelled the two doctors and stumbled back as though he was hit by a wall.

"Whew! Glad to see you boys working this out! " He said. "I thought I told you kids to change your diapers. "

"Not till he stops tooting. " Hawkeye snapped as he pointed an accusing finger to Charles.

"Well? " The Colonel asked.

Charles glared at Hawkeye and snapped. " Never! " before he grabbed his horn and left.

The next morning Hawkeye and BJ were being denied access inside the mess hall by Klinger. Apparently everyone voted and they wanted them to eat outside. Chris was allowed in but he wanted to stay with his dad even though it really ruined his appetite to do so. It also gave him a chance to stay away from the cook and Igor. The cook informed his dad during dinner yesterday about finding him in the kitchen and he was still embarrassed about it. Especially because his dad said he was dealt with, and it wouldn't happen again.

They only sat down to eat for a couple of minutes before they heard the loud horn of Charles booming through the unit.

"That does it! " Hawkeye said as he jumped up.

Chris followed the doctors nervously as the two ran towards a jeep and parked it in front of the Swamp. Hawkeye lifted a metal barrel into the back while BJ grabbed a kazoo out of his pocket. They both grabbed a big stick and started hitting the barrel. BJ hit the side loudly while blowing on his kazoo while Hawkeye was drumming on the back of the barrel getting a deeper sound than the sound BJ made.

Chris put his hands to his ears, it was way too loud and sounded terrible. Charles emerged from the Swamp with an angry glare. But instead of stopping this stupid war he brought the horn to his lips and started playing again.

The sound was overwhelming but Chris could still hear Margaret's voice. He looked behind him and saw Margaret, Klinger and a big group of nurses heading their way. Two enlisted men carried a big hose between them. "Ready Klinger? " Margaret said. "Hit them! " She yelled.

A large jet of water spurted out of the hose completely soaking the two doctors. BJ and Hawkeye jumped away from the jeep but they couldn't hide from Margaret and her group of angry people. The ground became slippery and BJ slipped to the ground pulling Hawkeye down with him.

"Bravo! Bravo! " Charles said smugly. He had stopped his playing to watch this play out.

"Second wave! " Margaret yelled and several nurses emerged from the group carrying buckets with soap and water.

"Fire! " Margaret commanded and the nurses threw the soapy water over the two doctors. Completely covering the doctors with water and foam.

Hawkeye burst into laughter as a nurse jumped on him, washing him with a big sponge. Chris giggled as Kelley handed him a sponge. He jumped behind his dad and put the wet sponge in the man's neck.

"Brat!" Hawkeye said between laughing. He was no match for the nurses washing him and he wasn't really trying to get away. He giggled as Kelley washed him under his armpit. "I'm ticklish there! " He managed to get out before giggling like crazy.

He grabbed Chris and pulled the boy down. Chris squeaked as he tumbled down but burst into giggles when his dad threw foam at him with a grin. The water kept pouring and they were completely drenched.

"I don't care what you do to me! "Hawkeye declared, laughing. "But those lice you killed were women and children! " The nurse didn't listen and the big yellow sponge found its way to his chest making him giggle loudly.

Chris got up and looked at his wet clothes and sighed. He had fun but he wasn't happy with making his clothes dirty. Hawkeye and BJ got up as well.

Margaret walked over to Charles and grabbed the horn out of his hands. "Where are you taking that? "He demanded.

"Where it belongs! " She snapped before she walked off and put the horn on the road. She left it there and let out a loud whistle. A jeep roared to life and quickly neared the French-horn.

"Margaret no! Pick it up! " Charles yelled but he was too late.

The jeep drove over the horn completely flattening it.

Hawkeye laughed as he put a wet arm around Chris's shoulders, pulling the boy close.

Charles was dumbfounded as Margaret handed him the flat horn. Everyone including BJ and Hawkeye cheered and clapped as Margaret made a deep bow for her fans.

His dad clapped him on the shoulder and said they were going to shower. Chris sighed relieved, he was just very happy for this war to be over, and very grateful to not smell his dad or to hear that awful horn again.