Chapter 16

Beckett's first day back at work had so far been uneventful, mostly consisting of paperwork related to her most recent case and those she left behind when she went into protection. Though she had never been a fan of desk duty it was still good to be back in the precinct surrounded by some of her closest friends.

The stack of files was slowly shrinking but she was quickly losing her focus. The words on the page in front of her were starting to look like gibberish that she had to reread several times before moving on. That could only mean one time: time for coffee.

The sound of the coffee grinder felt somewhat nostalgic to Kate. It was a noise she had been deprived of for months, but not anymore more. After pressing the ground coffee beans in the portafilter, she slot it into the machine and pressed the double shot espresso button. While it poured she steamed the milk, the squeal of the steamer yet again a comforting sound she hadn't heard in months.

"Just the person I was looking for," came a familiar voice behind her.

Kate turned to see Tom Demming, her former love interest, all smiles as he leaned against the door frame. Turning off the steamer she gave him her full attention.

"Tom," she said surprised to see him. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Working a robbery homicide. I heard you were released from house arrest so I said since I'm in your neck of the woods I'd drop by."

This was one of those moments in life that Kate wished she had a time machine in which she could skip past this soon-to-be awkward conversation. She poured the milk into the espresso and watched as it swirled together.

"I was also thinking now that you're back working cases you'd maybe want in on the case I'm working." He stepped into the breakroom and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Kate smiled to herself completely aware of what he was doing. She watched as he reached across her for the sugar just so they could be close momentarily.

"Are you dangling a case in front of me because you know I can't resist and you think it would benefit the case, or because you just want us to spend time together?"

"Why can't it be both?" he asked with a charming grin. "But if you don't want the case, we can just go to dinner instead."

She chuckled, but she knew she had to stop this before it went any further. "Look, Tom. I like you. I really like you. And the reason I called things off between us wasn't because I changed my mind. It was because it wasn't fair on you starting a relationship under the circumstances. But now things have changed."

Demming casually leaned against the countertop, stirring the creamer into his coffee. "You're dating?" he deduced by her words.

"Not exactly. Well, I'm seeing someone. I'm… it's complicated," she sighed. "But our timing was all wrong. Maybe if it had been different then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"The timing is different now," he stated, putting his mug on the counter. "The timing is right, Kate. I've been waiting for this protection period to end so I could see you again. I haven't once stopped thinking about you and I don't want to. One date, that's all I'm asking. And if you still feel the same after then we'll just move on."

A fellow officer entered the break room interrupting the moment. Both detectives took a step back away from each other and went back to their coffees. The awkward silence was deafening, the police officer blatantly unaware of the uneasiness he had just created.

Demming picked up his coffee once again and said, "Just think about it."

Before Kate could respond Demming had disappeared out of the breakroom across the bullpen. Running her hands through her hair, Kate was annoyed at herself that she hadn't turned him down the way she wanted to. There was no way she could leave this unfinished.

As she marched across the bullpen towards the robbery detective, unbeknownst to her the elevator doors opened.

"Tom, we need to-."

"Yo Beckett!" Esposito called out to her from his desk cutting her off. "We've got a fresh one at 18th and Lex."

Yet again she had been interrupted before getting the chance to explain to Demming that she was seeing Castle. She couldn't just blurt it out right now in the presence of her colleagues, not if she didn't want to put Castle's job on the line. So it would have to wait.

"I'll call you, okay?" she said with an earnest smile before joining the boys.

Castle, who had just exited the elevator, watched as Kate headed off with the boys through the back of the bullpen. Dammit, he thought. I just missed her. As he made his way over towards Montgomery's office the man Kate had just been talking to turned around.

Demming? Why was Kate talking about calling Demming?

Before he could consider a moment longer, detective Demming stopped him in his tracks.

"Rick Castle!" he praised with a laugh as he held his hand out. "Good to see you again."

"Detective Demming," he greeted.

"Say, what are you doing here? I thought your stint with Beckett was over?"

"Oh, it is. I just came by to return the equipment Captain Montgomery gave me." He held up a large black duffel bag. "I was also hoping to bump into Kate."

"You just missed her. She and the boys caught a case." Though he knew Demming didn't mean it, it came off quite condescending. Almost as if saying better luck next time. "But I can tell her you dropped by when I'm talking to her later."

"I'm sorry," Castle scoffed. "I was under the impression you two weren't… umm."

"Oh, we're not," he insisted followed by a chuckle. "But now that things are back to normal I think we're gonna give it a shot."

Castle had heard enough. He knew Kate would never go behind his back like that, but she had obviously said or done something to give Demming that impression. And why would she tell him she was going to call him? It couldn't be related to a case considering they were both working different cases.

Maybe last night was too much for her. Maybe I shouldn't have invited her over to meet Alexis so soon. What if by doing that I somehow spooked her and made her realise she's not looking for the kind of relationship I'm offering? Instead, she's keeping close to Demming in case she needs a quick getaway.

But she's not like that. Or is she? As much as I like to think I know her, I really don't know her at all. A few months in a confined space together doesn't give you a feel for what a person is like in the real world surrounded by different temptations. Maybe I've got this all wrong.

That same night, Castle was lounging on the couch in Kate's apartment. She grabbed them two cold beers from the fridge and joined him in the living room. She had noticed as soon as Castle arrived that he was quieter than usual, but she chose not to address it.

"So, how was your day?" Kate asked curling her legs beneath her.

"It was fine," Castle said before taking a sip of his beer.

"Fine? Since when are you so vague?"

"It was fine," he repeated. "I don't know what else you want me to say. How was yours?"

Kate noticed the quick change in direction of the conversation which only added to her previous assumption that something was bothering him.

"Being away for so long always left a lot of paperwork to catch up on, so I spent most of the day neck deep in files. On top of that we caught a case. Oh, and I bumped into detective Demming today in the break room. You remember Demming, right?"

"Demming…," he pretended to scour his thoughts. "Oh, was that the guy who you went on a first date with and I made a complete fool of myself by jumping up and shielding you when a glass broke?"

Kate chuckled. "Oh, so you do remember him."

"Kind of hard to forget a night like that," he chuckled self-deprecatingly. "So, what did you and Demming talk about?"

"Oh, just small talk. He told me he was investigating a robbery homicide, that's why he was in our territory."

"And?"

Confusion washed over Kate's face. "And what?"

"I was in the precinct today," Castle finally admitted. He had waited hoping she would bring it up herself but she hadn't, which meant he had to confront her. "I dropped by to return the equipment Montgomery let me borrow. When I got there, you and the boys had just left for a case. But I got a chance to chat to Demming."

"You were at the precinct?"

"I was going to surprise you," he admitted innocently. "But it seemed I was the one who got the surprise."

"Okay," Kate said warily. "What's wrong?"

"I overheard you saying you were going to call him. And when I asked him what it was about he told me that you two were going to give it another shot."

"Seriously? That's why you've been off this evening?" Kate scoffed which turned into a chuckle before composing herself. "Castle, that is not what happened."

"Then please do explain."

"Demming did ask me out again, yes. But I told him I was seeing someone. He was being persistent but I wasn't giving in. Then he asked me to take some time to consider going on one last date, but we got interrupted before I could tell him no."

"Wait, hold up. You told him you were seeing someone? You didn't tell him it was me?"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed. "I wanted to but I couldn't risk anyone else hearing. We both know how bad that would look if anyone found out this soon after the protection."

"That still doesn't explain why you were all smiles when you said you were going to call him."

Kate couldn't believe what was happening. How can someone she thought she knew so well turn into a stranger in a matter of seconds? Not only was Castle being extremely jealous but he was showcasing to her just how little trust he had in her.

"I told you we were interrupted before I could turn him down. I was going to call him to tell him exactly that. Maybe even tell him about us. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"You're the one who felt the need to hide it from me." The cold tone in his voice almost made her heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Hide it?" she contested. "I didn't tell you because it's irrelevant. Bringing something like that up would be making a big deal out of something that's insignificant. Just like you're doing right now."

They couple sat in silence as they processed what had just unfolded. This was not something that could be resolved with an apology and a hug. Castle had openly questioned Kate's commitment to their relationship, which should not have been a question in the first place considering her previous admissions of willingness to give this a try.

Castle instantly was regretful for being so cold and callous towards Kate's interaction with Demming. Why did I have to build it up in my head like that? Why did I let jealousy take over and take it out on Kate? I know we're not exclusive, even then I know Kate wouldn't be remotely malicious enough to do anything I accused her of.

"I'm sorry," he whispered breaking the booming silence. "I overreacted."

"That's all you have to say?" Kate snarled. "You just accused me of leading on another man, hiding our relationship out of spite, and lying to you. And all you have to say is you overreacted?"

"I don't know what came over me! I've never done anything like this before. Seeing you with him just ignited something in me. I can't explain it."

"That's no reason for not trusting me." Kate stood up unexpectedly and said, "I think you should go. It's obvious we both need some space. Shit, maybe spending every second together the last few months messed us up in ways we didn't think it could."

Their first fight.

Most couples' first fight is about something menial like chores, but this didn't quite feel like that. This was a lot more personal, more invasive. Castle's overreaction wasn't going to be something they could move past with ease. He had questioned her commitment to their relationship and that shattered her heart.

Letting jealousy get the better of him could have just cost him the most amazing woman he has ever met.