the secrets we all keep
Act One
Tender as a Tomb
12th February, 1943
"So you broke up?" Aileua asked, tone somehow despondent, as if genuinely let down to hear the news.
Everly scowled in return. She'd been stopped several times in the following week since that night, and the after effects of it—especially with how the rumor mill had taken off with the little bits of truth that had been whispered about—were troubling, to say the least.
Both Slytherin and Ravenclaws alike were casting sideways glances and whispering about her, even bringing up old rumors from before the break to cast her as the crazed, obsessive ex-girlfriend who couldn't let well enough be and gracefully accept parting ways.
And Everly hated that there was a kernel of truth to it.
Could it even be said that it was a break up when they'd never really been together in the first place? None of what had occurred could even be remotely considered... romantic. Neither of them had behaved in any sort of affectionate manner towards each other, and no besotted declaration of love had ever left their lips, nothing to clarify just what they had even been doing with each other, if it had ever meant anything at all. To either of them.
Oh, but then why did it feel so… true, to say they had ended things.
That what she was feeling in the aftermath, the odd loneliness that had begun to follow her, the bittersweetness of her memories with him, how deep it cut—as if she were truly nursing the wounds of a doomed love.
What made it worse was knowing that in the end, they were right about her. She did like Tom. Perhaps not in the usual way, but the feelings, once acknowledged, couldn't be denied. No matter how hard she worked to rid herself of them.
Of course, Everly did her absolute best not to give any impression of the state of her emotional affairs, but as her time spent with Tom had taught her, she was not nearly as impervious to emotion as she once thought she was. And she had a much harder time now, knowing her mask of perfection was clearly just that.
Cracks had begun to form where it had once been smooth, and the whispers of those around her had started to chip at them, exposing more and more weaknesses than she realized she had.
Everly had begun to withdraw into herself, letting social obligations go in order to spend more time in her dorm by herself, where she could lay with Tom's dark magic necklace in her hand and stare at LilyAnn's empty bed, wondering, and hating, and liking.
She even went as far as to take a break from the tutoring club, something she had once vowed never to do, believing she'd be letting down those that had placed their trust in her to see them through schooling, as if failing a class or two was a dire fate she was rescuing them from.
But now she wondered why she had ever thought so, to the point that she thought she could replace professors, pretending she was some sort of haven to the struggling witch and wizards of Hogwarts, a bastion of hope.
Only now she knew how much her ego had been tied to it, how important she had let it make her feel and how, in actuality, she was not too different from Tom, who played court in Slytherin and played prince of his house to create his own sense of self-importance.
Importance that he'd never gotten anywhere else in his life.
His words echoed in her head now, and she couldn't pretend not to hear the truth in them anymore.
You make them feel stupid—how's that for thinking of what others are bloody feeling.
You're so selfish.
I don't exist to be the person you want me to be.
But all the same, she still wished things were different.
"He's still watching you, you know," Aileua said, breaking into the cloud of her disordered thoughts.
"Yes, I know," Everly acknowledged, because her gaze also never strayed far from him for long, and Tom had stopped looking away every time their eyes met, somber expressions on both of them.
It wasn't lost on her that it was a conversation that mirrored hers with Alphard not too long ago.
But they had said everything they needed to say outside of Slughorn's dinner party, had very clearly cut things off between each other, and yet...
Everly knew with a sort of disquieting horror that she would never be rid of her Riddle affliction.
Because she had already seen too much in dreams and said too much in prophecy, knew too much about him now to forget. How he was fated to be a great terrible catastrophe on the Wizarding world as a whole, and how by the end of it, he'd be entirely unrecognizable to the boy she thought she was beginning to understand.
But for now, he was still only sixteen, and she wanted to believe, for once, that he could surprise her.
.
.
Normally, February for Everly was much like any other month in a year. It had never been on her mind much at all, what sort of holiday was popular at the time, aside from the major ones she'd grown up to value.
She hadn't ever really noticed before, how many couples there existed at Hogwarts. She'd not had any reason to. And usually Valentine's Day was more of an excuse to eat sweets and gift chocolate to her friends. It had never really been anything more to her, with her lack of interest in romance.
But this year was different.
This year, Everly still had vague rumors about her that boys were intrigued by and had been sent more than a few uncomfortable Valentines', with a mix of novelty chocolates, baked goods, and bizarre notes, all of which she incendio'd to ashes.
This year, everywhere she looked, there were couples in the halls, affectionate and sweet to each other, with soft kisses and lingering looks. It was a blight to the eye she couldn't stop noticing, never feeling so sorely alone as she did then, haunted by the memory of what kisses had felt like, even if they had never quite been tender. It still made her feel the absence of them.
Worse yet, but to no one's shock, this year, her thoughts continued to be plagued by Tom. Not just of kissing him either.
Rather, against her will, she remembered all that she had discovered over the winter break. Every little detail, from the way his body heat felt against hers, to the drawl in his voice as he talked of muggle history. How his blush would crawl up his neck and make his ears burn bright red, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. What he looked like from the exertion of a snowball fight. How broad his shoulders were, and the subtle curl of his black hair, the way it ended at the nape of his neck and how her hand had felt there, to pull him closer to her.
She tried to imagine scenarios where things were much simpler, but couldn't dredge up much care for the imaginary Tom in her head. She cared, instead, for the scowling boy that had driven her to extreme emotions she'd not thought herself capable of. She didn't want to see him with his pretentious facade that he wandered the school hallways with, she wanted to argue with him and get his temper striking hot against hers. She wanted him to give as good as he got, and kiss him senseless.
Everly wanted her heart to beat again, to feel moved beyond the cloud of depression she'd been swept under.
So when casually preparing chocolates for her friends and brother, she felt herself pause and deliberate.
In the end, after agonizing over the decision, Tom received a box of chocolates she anonymously sent. Having heard his cohorts bragging about Tom's popularity, she'd gone through with it, knowing hers would be one of many and the chances of him knowing were low.
But a part of her hoped he'd recognize the scrawl of her handwriting and the spritz of her perfume on the note she sent with it.
A simple, Happy Valentine's Day. Utterly forgettable.
So she also hoped, just a bit more, that he threw hers out without knowing a damn thing.
27th March, 1943
More than a month later and some normalcy had returned, even when Everly had feared it would not.
Normal was casting glances at Tom and receiving them back, unreadable expressions and mocking, lifted brows. Normal was attending classes and studying in the library at hours she knew he'd be there with his followers, and expecting to see him in places she knew he had no purpose being in, aside from existing in her peripheral vision.
Normal was knowing, wordlessly, that they had to keep each other within sight, neverminding the lengths they had to go to do so.
Without having any contact, they orbited around the other, and Everly wondered what his reasons were, why he still watched her. Why didn't he look away anymore? It was almost worse, being so cognizant of him, neither of them entirely ignoring the other.
Everly wished so badly sometimes, to be oblivated—nothing like a memory charm to escape her ill-gotten ardor for Tom.
But part of her new normal was coming to an indirect understanding that Everly's most ill-advised feelings for Tom were there to stay. Whether she wanted them or not.
And Everly was slowly changing as a result. A subtle shift in priorities, a slackening in hard stuck to rules. The world wasn't as clear-cut as it had once been, and neither was she.
Bitter self awareness led to divide in who she was in the past, and the person she was becoming.
The biggest change was with her club.
She had not entirely quit the tutoring club, but she only really helped those that she felt needed the help, or who were desperate enough to beg and would apply their own effort to improving, like Hagrid. She found it led to less work for her in the end, as the students she helped didn't need their hand held after more than a few sessions.
And she'd somewhat stopped playing older sister to the Ravenclaw girls that would pester her for advice, just enough that Everly had stopped letting others control her schedule, and she could actually have time to herself.
Her grades were honestly never better, despite the disaster of her internal monologue and endless worries. Mounting pressure of the exams to come were the least of her concerns, but she had so much more time and Everly had never learned to be idle.
Part of her toyed with the idea of her Animagus aspirations, but she'd decided to wait until the petrification victims were cured, where she could ask for the mandrake leaf needed for the ritual and perhaps use the time to contemplate if she even really wanted to take the risk.
After all, the mandrakes had yet to fully mature, but they were getting closer, with their behavior turning raucous like teenagers, and while Madam Appleby had assured her of the petrification victims' care, it couldn't entirely assuage Everly's worry.
Or guilt.
"She'll be fine," Alphard said to her on a visit to LilyAnn he'd joined her for. "She's a spitfire from what I recall, and I don't think she'd let something like petrification stop her."
Everly nodded vaguely. "LilyAnn would have fainted to hear you say that. You were somewhere on her list of fancies."
Alphard snorted. "I'm sure one look at my family would cure her of that."
"If I remember correctly, it did. Just before... it happened, she'd mentioned seeing Orion, and I think he quickly dispelled any thought of taking things further."
Alphard barked out a laugh. "Ah, that dear cousin of mine, truly remarkable how much of a git he's become in just a few short years. Your father has ruined your future, pretending he arranged your marriage for anything but selfish reasons."
Everly sighed.
"You know, Orion used to look up to me, in the past. Before you-know-who. Before he became a sycophant. Things could have gone differently."
"He's so hateful," Everly muttered, shoulders curling in. "I hate him, and Grimmauld is not worth it."
"You could always just marry me," Alphard said softly and when she met his gaze, she saw a rare, true affection. Not the put-upon dramatics of an endless love with promises to whisk her away into a whirlwind elopement. No pretense or illusions.
Alphard was rarely so subdued, and Everly had to gently take his hand into hers.
"You know why that couldn't work. You'd never be happy."
Alphard shook his head. "Is there any future where my happiness doesn't come at the cost of being blasted off the family tapestry? And how happy could some bloke make me, that losing my inheritance would be worth it? It's one or the other, not both, Ever."
She snorted. "Galleons aren't everything. And if you just applied yourself, you could really make yourself into something, and you wouldn't need to rely on your dreaded family to fund your lifestyle."
Alphard smiled ruefully at that. "I'd miss my mum. I'd miss Cyg—blast it all, I'd miss Walburga."
"You would not, Walburga would still find ways to annoy you, even if the Black family code excommunicated you so completely."
"That's true, her brand of terror is something of a marvel and she would hate to see me flourishing."
"You really could be happy, if you gave it a chance," Everly said to him, squeezing his hand and blinking quickly. "Just don't... give up. Please. We're still so young for that."
Silence fell between them, and she could hear Alphard swallow beside her, feel him twist to fully face her.
"Ev, what happened... with Riddle?"
She sighed, biting her lip. It was such a hard thing to admit, even to her best friend.
She'd spent the past month bolstering herself up to do it, to tell him everything, if only so she wasn't so alone with her thoughts. But even to Aileua, who'd already thought Everly and Tom had anything resembling romance between them, she just couldn't say the truth.
A twist of embarrassment, worry, and shame kept her mouth clamped shut.
"Everly, I'm on your side, no matter what," Alphard said, and brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles. "Always."
She released a breath, and then couldn't help the laugh as she said, "I went and kissed him, Al. And I... I liked it, I liked him."
Alphard's stunned expression was one she would never forget.
"So when everyone's saying you two broke up..."
"Well, we were truly never together," Everly murmured with a helpless lift of her shoulders.
It did nothing to ease the shock of the situation.
"Salazar, you truly kept this bit of salacious information from me for the past, what, near three months? This whole time? Oh, Ev, no wonder you've been so upset!"
She couldn't help but snort. "Salacious?"
"Well, confounding, more like, but I won't pretend I don't understand. He could charm the pants off any witch or wizard with a face like his. That tosser has always been good at that."
Everly laughed. "Not quite true. I don't think he's kissed anyone but me before."
"Did he tell you that? He could be lying, to make you feel special and lead you by the nose."
"No. I could just feel it. I don't think Tom lets himself be intimate with others, if he can help it. Our first kiss was under a mistletoe, and I don't think it would have happened without it."
"First kiss. So there were several after."
Everly's cheeks burned with heat.
"And you liked it."
"Much to my torment, yes."
Alphard hummed and then bumped her with his shoulder. "So, are things truly ended now? Did you tire of him, or was it him? Should I be marching into the dungeons to clobber him right now?"
"It's really not so simple," Everly said wistfully. "Can it ever really be over if I still feel… Oh, Al, I really… I'm so terrible. I know more truths about him than I'm sure about anyone else in Hogwarts does and I still feel… What he's done is unconscionable, unforgivable. But I don't want him expelled, if the truth were to be uncovered, and I don't want him to open the chambers again. But it feels inevitable that he will. I can't do anything to stop him. And shouldn't I be?"
Alphard was quiet at the question and the two sat, obliquely looking at LilyAnn's prone form. The hard to look at, veritable truth of Tom's sick beliefs and twisted choices.
"He could do so much more. So much good. He's so gifted, talented, and intelligent. How come… how come it's him?"
Everly looked to Alphard then, eyes stinging.
"Why did his mother hate him so much, to leave him in that place? With muggles who don't understand. No one deserves that—so how could no one go save him?"
"I… I don't know, Everly."
"She couldn't help dying, but she could have gone anywhere else."
"Merope Gaunt wasn't right of mind."
"And that absolves her? I can't imagine it. What of St. Mungos? Perhaps if she'd been in their care, she'd've lived."
"Everly, I don't think it was so simple."
"And you know better?"
"Listen, the Gaunt family lived in squalor, without a galleon to their name and their reputation was terrible. No one would be seen with them, let alone seen helping them. And Merope… she was nineteen when she died. Not too much older than us, and she didn't have any support. She had hardly been living as a witch—she'd not even gone to Hogwarts, practically a squib from the sound of it... They only had a single wand to share with the three of them, everything else had been squandered to unpaid debts."
"How do you know so much?"
"Oh, you know Mother. Christmas night, I brought it up and it was all she wanted to gossip about. Our parents' generation know a lot more than they like to admit, but only Mother wants to say anything about the past."
Everly nodded. "My grandmothers kept everything they knew to themselves. But they did say the way she'd been treated was horrific."
He nodded. "I asked around… and while I couldn't confirm anything, it seems that both Marvolo and Morfin Gaunt served in Azkaban for violence against an investigator for the Ministry."
"An investigator...?"
"It's not entirely clear, but Mother said that the investigator was there about Morfin hexing a muggle. Specifically an unnamed man that Morfin claimed had been messing with his sister. And the timeline... both Morfin and Marvolo were still in Azkaban when Merope got pregnant."
"And so this unnamed man is Tom's namesake."
"It's not a difficult stretch, is it?" Alphard looked at her emphatically.
It spoke much to Everly's exhaustion, that she wasn't the least bit moved in any one direction upon hearing the information. Instead, something like defeat was weighing her down and she had to rub the bridge of her nose, the beginnings of a headache coming on.
"Why are you telling me this now? It's been months."
It wasn't as if she could do anything about Tom now, with the way they left things.
"Well, you looked like you could use a break. And the chamber of secrets hasn't opened up since before Christmas, so I figured you-know-who was also on a break."
"I wonder if he knows any of this," she mused.
"Look, I know you want to sympathize with the prat, but even if he doesn't know, he still released a monster on our classmates. Intending for them to die. So, if we're actually able to expose him, expelling him would be the least of his worries. His victims deserve justice, too. And there are certainly more of them than the petrified."
Everly nodded slowly and then felt herself get more firm, more sure. Her mind almost felt jostled, as if a part of her was waking up again.
"You're right."
"Usually am."
"And I shouldn't let him go like this."
"Ev, what…?"
"I can't change him. But I can help him."
"Wait—Everly!"
But she was already racing out of the medbay, thoughts whirring with expectation and a thought that, no matter what, even if she bolloxed it all up, she refused to be like everyone else in Tom's life who had given up on him or never given him a chance.
Everly knew his real self better than any one in the world, and she realized with a bit of regret, that she should have tried a little harder back when they were still on speaking terms.
There was a terrible price to pay, to be ignorant. But the cost was so much worse, knowing what could have been done, and not doing anything.
2nd April, 1943
Everly's plan of action was really quite simple, if one knew her motivation, but it baffled those around her. Behavior that no one had ever considered from her before, and the most unlikely of relationships that everyone had once sneered at and ridiculed, believing it to be ill-thought, until Everly took matters into her own hands.
"Orion, I brought you more pumpkin pasties," she said with a bright smile, reinforced by the lack of shame she had been actively developing in the week since she'd first decided to pursue the idea.
It had been a nightmare to start off with, but as she'd kept visiting him, it was becoming easier.
Orion was beginning to crack, already much more receptive since the start of the week, even as doubt seemed to flicker over his face at most of her words.
It was important that he was doubtful, actually.
"I brought extra so you can share with your housemates," Everly told him, passing them to him. "Good luck on your Potions essay."
"Your sucking up is not working," Orion bit out with a sneer, even as he took her gift.
Oh, but it most certainly was.
She could feel Tom's gaze on her like it was fast becoming a second skin. And where he had been aloof in the beginning, if his dark look was anything to go by, he was beginning to crack, too.
"I thought you might appreciate it, as a Slytherin. After all, building a connection between us now will only put us at an advantage in the future. Don't you want me to be a good wife to you?"
And there was the hint of hope in his eyes, even as the doubt warred there, his confusion played out in the way he fidgeted.
"I've not been doing my duty to you these past few years, but I've decided to change that," she explained carefully.
"But… you hate me."
Everly smiled at that. "I barely know you, Orion. And we should work on changing that."
"Did your father really not put you up to this?"
She shook her head. "Although I know he'll be happy to know if you decide to forgive me for my past… transgressions."
Orion glowered at her. "You mean when you were a slag?"
Everly tried not to flinch at that, and it was getting easier not to. Didn't mean it still didn't smart, but she was fast improving keeping her expression blank, letting the insults roll off her back.
"I told you already, those were rumors started by members of your house," she explained for the umpteenth time, exchanging her smile for a pout. "But I'm willing to forgive and forget, for your sake."
Orion grunted, not too impressed with her defense. "Well, maybe I'm not ready to forgive you."
Inwardly, Everly withheld a sigh. Outwardly, she nodded, still pouting.
"Well, that's up to you to decide, Orion," she told him, voice soft and with a purposeful twirl of a blonde lock of hair around her finger, she added, "Now, I have a question..."
He sneered. "Well, then ask!"
"So, do you prefer—?"
"Blimey, Evy, attempting to use your feminine wiles on a third year?"
Tom's voice from behind her startled her enough to jump, but it was nothing compared to the wide, saucered eyed Orion who dropped the books and pumpkin pasties that had been in his hands. He bent to pick everything up, his skin flushing red as he stammered out a greeting to Tom.
"Riddle," Everly said blandly, flickering her gaze across his smiling face.
Good grief. It always blinded her a bit to see his charade as Charming Riddle, the juxtaposition of the moody, tetchy Tom that she was comfortable with, and the smiling, relaxed Tom that made her skin crawl.
Still, she withheld a smile. A week of torture, and Tom had finally had enough, the silence between them broken, albiet indelicately.
"You've been awfully busy this last week. Why the sudden interest in Black?"
Everly cast a glance at Orion, bemused before she trained her attention on Tom, eyes first darting to his mouth before she met his gaze.
"We have an arranged relationship, you know this."
"Yes, and I happen to know you well enough that he's not exactly your type. So what brought about this change of heart?"
Everly raised a brow. "I'm not sure it's any of your business."
"Then I'm making it my business."
A thrill of heat went through her at those words and Everly had to school her features, hiding her swallow with a clear of her throat.
"Riddle, I thought we had an agreement."
"What agreement?"
She scoffed, casting a look around the busy hallway that she'd tracked Orion down in. "Is this where we should be having this conversation?"
"Want to take me to a closet, have your way with me?"
Her cheeks burned at that.
The truth of it all was that, yes, she very much so did.
Suddenly, she had to wonder if this was a sign her plan was working, or if it was backfiring more than anything. Could it really be worth it to have Riddle mock her so openly, touting their past relations like bait dangled in front of her nose?
But before she could speak, the sound of Orion's gasp drew her gaze back to him.
His shock was evident, and whatever he saw when he looked at Tom was enough to wash him of color, and make him take off in a sprint down the hall.
Perturbed, Everly looked to Tom, unable to see anything but a flicker of the Tom she liked so much, and even that was hidden behind a disingenuous smile.
"Why'd he run off like that?"
"Because he's self aware."
"Aware of what?"
"Everly."
Tom lifted a hand to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. She froze at his touch, confusion and intrigue both warring inside her as she waited for his next move.
"You let me touch you still?"
"What about you? Am I so irresistible that you need to be so close?"
Tom's inhale of breath sounded like a hiss. His head angled towards her shoulder, leaning close to her ear, he whispered to her, "Why are you doing this? Everyone knows you've never cared for him before."
"I don't need to explain myself to you," she told him softly, bringing her own hand up to his chest, about to push him away before thinking better of it and reaching instead for his necktie.
She played with it, wanting to linger, idly tugging his body closer to her until their bodies were pressed against each other.
Every single one of her nerve endings were alight, thrumming heat and energy through her body. Warmth pooled in her stomach, making her breath hitch. The pressure of his weight against her was something she'd not forgotten and for a moment it was bliss, especially so when his knee pressed against her thigh as he backed her into the wall.
She wanted so badly to kiss him then.
Everly found that in the face of pleasure, her morals didn't quite have the fortitude to see her through in upkeeping them. What she thought was the right thing to do, her body screamed to do the opposite.
It didn't even cross her mind that they were still in the hall, where anyone could see them, and in her peripheral, people were seeing them.
"You must want to drive me mad," Tom accused her, meeting her gaze.
"You're the one who went and made me barmy," she pointed out, smiling now. "It's not so bad, really."
"What do you want from me, Ever."
"Does it seem like I want something from you?"
"Don't patronize me—Orion is nothing to you and you don't hide your distaste for him nearly as well as you think you do."
Everly laughed. "Because you know me so well."
"Ever," he growled and that was when she'd reached her limit.
Any more and she truly couldn't keep herself from kissing him.
She pushed him away with a scoff. "Careful, Tom, you almost sound sentimental."
"Am I not allowed to be?"
The question gave her pause as she eyed him quietly.
"Are you approaching him for my attention?" Tom asked, crossing his arms, brow arched imperiously. "Rather odd—I didn't think you'd be the type to bend over backwards for anyone's attention, let alone mine. Especially seeing how clear you made yourself last time we talked. Months ago."
His eyes held a mix of strange emotion that she couldn't entirely understand, something like anger and… hurt.
Everly's head swam with retorts and insults to hurl at him—but couldn't get the words out, her throat clogging at his expression before she truly lost control and blurted, "Show it to me."
Because it truly was dreadful, speaking to Orion more times in one week than she had in the entirety of their engagement. And Tom was more right about her than she liked to admit.
"Show it to you? Show you what?"
Everly hastily crossed what little distance Tom had put between them and went on the tip of her toes to whisper in his ear, "The chamber."
Tom stiffened, his expression schooled blank as she sat herself back on her feet to look at him.
"I mean it. Take me there."
"No."
"Why not?" Everly asked, and the less developed part of her brain made her grab his tie again, smoothing the creases she made and going to do the same to his robes, fingers splayed on his chest. He didn't bother to stop her, but he was still, unnaturally so, not quite breathing.
She tried to meet his gaze again but instead saw the war on his face, cheeks redder than she'd ever seen them, eyes trained on her hands.
Feminine wiles, he'd called them earlier.
Yes, she'd use them if she had to.
"Tom…"
He jerked back at the call of his name, gaze finally meeting hers again.
"Bloody hell—what are you trying to get out of this?"
And to that she only had one answer.
"You."
"Me?"
"I have a plan now, Tom Riddle. And you're the key component."
"You've truly lost it."
"Perhaps. But really, I've just had an awful lot of time to think. And then I realized a fatal flaw to the beliefs I had in January."
Tom looked at her expectantly, but also as if she were truly deranged, a sort of morbid intrigue on his face.
"While I still believe that people can't truly be changed by anyone but themselves, I do understand that influences are a factor I dismissed entirely. Meaning… with the goal of… of friend… ship… I might like to… influence you for the better. Not so better that you aren't yourself anymore, but not so bad that you end up… What I mean to say is that… I would like… For purely selfish reasons perhaps…"
Merlin, she chose the worst possible time to have her foot in her mouth. His stare was one of increasing judgment.
"You're right," she blurted, face reddening. "I don't care for Orion, but I couldn't think of another way to get your attention for long enough that you'd speak to me."
"Salazar—you sincerely went about charming Orion, to get at me?" Tom's bafflement was not lost on her and she winced. Certainly she had other options, but it seemed at the time the most likely one to work.
She had been basing it off the fact that Tom would know it to be out of character, enough to raise his suspicions. But she hadn't expected…
"I want to be by your side," Everly murmured—and then slapped a hand to her mouth, alarmed at herself. It wasn't even a lie, but it stunned her how much she meant it.
In spite of everything.
"Why?" Tom asked, his own shock a match for hers, even as his grew tinged with wariness. "You actually… mean it. Why?"
"I-I'm not sure." But it wasn't entirely the truth.
Everly knew, but couldn't bring herself to say it.
That she missed him.
Tom gave a huff at her answer and turned away with furrowed brows. "Well, I'm not going to entertain your madness any longer. Keep to yourself, Greengrass. And leave Orion alone."
"Tom, wait," Everly said, reaching for him and holding on tightly, her knuckles whitening. "Just like I can't control you, you can't control me. You know what they're saying about me, right? An ex who won't let go. I'll give them a reason to keep saying it."
It spoke to how fast her heart was beating, how little control she had over herself, that she didn't even have the face to feel shame at what was practically begging.
He reeled, looking back at her and scoffed, his face pulled into a disgusted sneer. "Desperation is not how to get back into my good graces."
"Tom, have I ever cared to ingratiate myself to you? That's not changing."
If anything, she was trying to agitate him.
"Oh, but you'll ingratiate yourself to Orion?"
Everly sighed. "Desperate times, desperate measures."
Tom was thoroughly unimpressed, if his glare was anything to go by.
"Aren't you meant to despise me? What is your purpose, doing this?"
"I told you—I have a plan. But we really should be having this conversation elsewhere," she added, casting a glance towards the students that had come to linger around them.
Even if they were speaking in hissed whispers and couldn't be understood, she was sure the two of them were making for a great spectacle.
"No, you'll just get me alone to have your way with me."
Everly raised a brow. "Is that what you're so afraid of? Don't worry, I'll be well-behaved, keep my hands to myself. I'm more worried about the raging bull—."
Tom kissed her.
And oh—oh.
She understood so well why she missed him so much now, his mouth slotted against hers was just so right, it sent a strange pain through her heart.
Around them were gasps, but Everly was content to be kissed, and clutched him tighter, afraid he'd pull away.
And now that he'd kissed her first, the part of her that she had kept a leash on, she let go of, reason going with it. Longing slamming into her, she felt her arms go around his neck, standing on the tip of her toes and leaning her body against his to keep her upright.
Everly kissed him back, pressing light and deep ones against his lips, more chaste and sweet than the ones they'd given each other in the past, before she went for his cheeks, driven by the sight of them being flushed so prettily.
And Tom let her, his arms around her waist, squeezing her to him as she had her way with him. She could hardly breathe, untamped joy making her smile against him.
And then awareness came back to her, slowly but surely as the rush of her emotions came to a simmer, like the ball of heat in her gut.
Embarrassment and shame followed thereafter, a worry finding her as she realized she had been too enthusiastic.
And Tom had really just let her make a fool of herself.
But just as she cooled down by the intrusive thought, Tom was bringing a hand up to caress her cheeks, staring into her eyes and gently setting his forehead against hers. His eyes looked just as wild and mad as she felt.
"You drive me up the wall, barmy, loony, insane," he accused, brows furrowed deeply. The picture of outraged. "Have you planned for that?"
She snorted. "It's really not the worst thing to be."
"It's like being led down to Hell by an angel. I've been ensnared by a saintly witch who wants to lead the sinner from sin, but she herself doesn't know the direction to Heaven."
Everly had a vague idea of what Hell and Heaven was, but it didn't keep her from being confused.
"As long as you'll let me be with you," she told him, sounding nervous even to her own ears.
A tense second passed between them.
He stared into her eyes, searching for something in them.
And then Tom nodded, letting loose a sigh and then cracking the barest of smiles. "I suppose the whole school knows by now, with our public display. And I've heard that you're a terrible ex to have."
"Truly a bane," she agreed, scared of the hope that was blooming in her chest. "Does that mean… what I think it means?"
"Are you ready for that?" he asked quietly. "You need to be certain. You need to be on my side."
Everly repressed her flinch.
"I know you've done terrible things. I'm scared of what else you'll do. But I'm terribly… fond of you, Tom. And I suspect we'll have arguments, that we won't see eye to eye on many things, but if you'll put up with the frightful nag that I am, I'd like us to… try."
Oh, Helga Hufflepuff, she sounded desperate even to her own ears and it took everything in her not to take the words back, afraid of his rejection and the form it might take.
But he surprised her.
"Ever, you're taking risks you don't have to take."
"That's for me to worry about."
Tom shook his head, visibly conflicted. "But this is you and me. There's so much else to think of. Are you sure? You'll openly skirt your father's wishes to… be with me?"
To that she could only nod, feeling a bit sad.
"And Orion… you've spent a week cajoling him, just to run into my arms in the school hallway. For all that you feel for him, it's still more cruel than I expected of you. He may be a git, but he's not without feeling."
Everly was surprised to hear him be so conscionable. Though it only served to make it more evident that she'd done a terrible thing to Orion.
"So, I'll spend a week apologizing—more than, if necessary. It's not as if I don't feel guilty. I know that I was wrong."
Tom's expression grew more complicated, a weird mix of humor, confusion, and distress. "Everly, I don't think I'll ever understand you. What do you… why do you… but then, why do I…"
Everly gave him a quick peck on the lips, pulling away from their embrace, only to grab his hands and squeeze them. Bracing herself.
"Tom Riddle," she began, not quite able to meet his eyes, but decided that it was best just to get it done with. There wouldn't be any other way to go about it, after all.
She summoned all of her courage, cheeks burning as she said it in a whisper.
"I like you, Tom. That's why."
And to his responding full-faced flush, Everly felt as if her heart was being scratched.
"You're not lying," Tom stated, tone flat despite the awe in his expression, as if this was truly the last thing he expected to hear.
"Don't get a big head over it," Everly muttered hotly, tensing for the joke he'd make about it.
But the joke never came.
Instead, Tom looked overcome with strong emotion, almost as if he'd felt moved by her affection.
"And all you want is to be… with me. Because you like me. R-romantically?"
She nodded, not risking what words would come out of her mouth.
"Despite what… you know about me. Despite your position… despite Orion… or Alphard. You like me. Truly."
"I like the you without pretense. When you're not faking charm. When you drive me up the wall. When you're… you."
Tom nodded slowly at that.
"If you don't feel the same way, that's alright."
"I don't quite understand what I feel for you, Ever." Tom sighed, hand on her cheek. "I don't think… I feel… No, I know that you're… special to me. Is that enough?"
"Yes, Tom," she whispered. "And it doesn't have to be especially serious, you know. Just like on break, we can just enjoy what we do have between us. We're allowed that much."
She hoped so, at least.
Tom hummed at that, and dipped to kiss her, seeming caught for a lack of words.
But when she felt his smile against hers, Everly felt, for the first time in months, optimistic about the future.
chapter twelve - end
Once again, sorry for the wait! As a result of the year since last updating, I have much to say.
But look, they're together now. So hopefully the wait was worth it. Although big changes like this always make me think I'm jumping the shark or being too self-indulgent… so hopefully it doesn't feel as if it's come out of left-field. That being said, it wouldn't be Everly and Tom without them diving head first into a relationship neither of them are ready for, so we're not breezing into a lovey-dovey relationship by any means (though I admit, they get quite sweet to each other).
Essentially, trigger warnings for anyone who's sensitive to manipulation in relationships, and the general toxicity of two diametrically opposed teenagers attempting to stay together. It's going to get ugly before it gets better. Tom Riddle is pretty much his own warning. But I do want to add, to any impressionable readers, fiction does not work like real life and that Everly and Tom's relationship isn't ideal by any means and to heed any impression to the otherwise.
All that said, I incorrectly aged Tom in prior chapters because I'm bad at math. I've since made edits to correct this, and have also added benign, preference based edits to every chapter as well as a new(ish, as parts of a scrapped opener have been repurposed) opening scene to better introduce Everly. Important content hasn't been changed, but certain scenes have been adjusted to clarify characterizations and mood.
Chapter title is shamelessly taken from the song of the same name, by Tennis (whose entire discography has been a great aid in writing this story). Music has essentially kept this fic alive, and I'm contemplating making a playlist if anyone would be interested.
Finally, a big thanks to you, who's reading this, I sincerely appreciate it so much. An update to come much, much sooner than you think (as I have the rest of act one written (20k+), and all of it will be getting posted as soon as I have act two off to a decent start).