Now it's time to free me from the shame
I gotta find that peace, is it too late?
Or could this love protect me from the pain?
I would battle for you - Stupid Love by Lady Gaga

For the next three days on the Merchant's Road, we switched off chores and training. Sasuke had started it all by taking Sunako out to scout while Kenichi practiced not only tagging his arrows and finding them, but doing it at a trot alongside the wagon. When they came back, he left Sunako to trot alongside the wagon while practicing chakra-wrapping her water in a way that made her weapons more than wet. At lunch, we switched again.

This time Sasuke stayed near the wagon while I followed along behind with the kids, talking about their progress. They were excited to work with us, and even the shyer Kenichi was happily telling me about how Sasuke-sensei was harder to please, but that made him the one they were running themselves ragged to make smile. Which was fine, because they were all working together, Mr. Mitsuba was happy, and I was buoyed by the success of the mission.

At night when we set camp, we would have the girl's and boy's sides. We all cooked together around the big fire that Sasuke started every night. The kids would take to studying their scrolls and talking them over with us while taking their toddling steps on trying to make their chakra do better, more effective jutsu. I was especially proud of Kenichi who explained what he wanted to do to me in detail before showing me his scroll.

"I've definitely seen this jutsu in person." In fact, if it wasn't the same one I'd seen Tenten do 100 times before, I'd eat my shoe. "I am friends with someone who can definitely help you master that."

Sunako announced that she was going to 'Make genjutsu my bitch!' She worked on her scroll and talked about illusions with Sasuke. With his suggestions on making the Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu more believable, she'd spend her time before bed changing bushes, or whatever else happened to be at hand, into almost anything else. She played her ocarina to Mitsuba's delight, even when trying to cast genjutsu with it.

The facts are that this was the best possible situation. The younger ones were thriving, improving everyday almost before my eyes. The times I've done a merchant run has taught me that the people who hired us were less than enthusiastic to have to do so. They usually were contrary and if nothing happened, would complain and try to short change the village. Mr. Mitsuba, while at the beginning of the journey seemed to be just another grumpy old man, was actually pleasant. He had been ambushed in years past, and knew the worth of even a half-decent team.

The only thing that vexed me at all was Sasuke. He was becoming a teacher, and although he hadn't seemed to have much patience when we started, he appeared to like having several things to do at once. The kids thought of him as a sort-of older brother. A role he seemed to appreciate. He listened to Mr. Mitsuba, and communicated clearly why he would or wouldn't do something. He even talked to me throughout the day, coordinating our activities.

Unfortunately that was it. A few words, maybe a short conversation, and then he was gone. At night he was subtly staying as far away from me as he could. He set up his tent at the opposite end of the camp, though Sunako told me that her old teacher didn't insist on separation, and in fact they shared a single tent most of the time. Not that that was what I wanted. But as the days passed, I began to miss him.

On the third day I sat on a hillock that overlooked the border between Leaf and Sand. We had stopped early, and the sun was baking the sandy transition. We were supposed to be resting so that we could do our desert crossing at night when it was cooler but more dangerous. I had taken a look around with my byakugan, but I hadn't seen anything more worrying than a pack of wild dogs. I took the time to meditate.

Kenichi sat next to me, his body in the perfect seiza. He looked very uncomfortable, but I knew from experience that he was probably fine. My father had expected this posture from my sister and I as soon as we could hold it without wiggling. Sometimes I had been forced to sit that way for so long that my legs had been nothing but pins and needles for hours afterward. He was composed, though, his soft jade eyes trained on Sasuke's katana.

I had brought a blanket out to sit on, folding it into a cushion for maintaining the Sukhasana for extended periods of time. A yoga pose I had little trouble maintaining, and since becoming pregnant, one of the only ways I could sit on the ground without needing a crane to regain my feet. I closed my eyes, trying to quiet myself enough to rest without actually taking a nap. Which was yet another thing I hated to do, but had grown into giving them a begrudging truce as my body demanded the extra sleep.

"Sasuke-sensei isn't the father?"

My eyes shot open as I regarded the solemn boy. "No. He's the father's brother."

"Itachi." He rubbed fingers over the hilt of the katana. "How come you aren't going to marry into our clan?"

"I still could." I shrugged, "Sasuke asked me to do him a favor and take over the clan until the heir is old enough to do so."

Kenichi pushed his plum-colored hair out of his eyes, "Thanks." He gestured out at the sand, "You know, for being here for us. Me."

I blew out a small laugh, "What brought that on?"

His cheeks colored, "People only hear my name. I felt like I was a big let down. You're nice, though. You know that not all of us can see. I have skills!"

"You do! I'm very proud of your accomplishments, Kenichi." I smiled at him, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "If you want to be a Uchiha, I'll get started on the adoption paperwork."

His mouth dropped open, and his uncovered ear flushed berry-red, "A Uchiha?" He turned his head, "No! I mean, it's kind of you to offer, but I'm gonna be the Hyuga who's the weapons specialist."

"I was mostly kidding, since your parents would probably not want to give you up. But, I am proudest of all that you want to help people see past the Hyuga name. The clan needs more shinobi like you." I changed the subject, "Why do you have Sasuke's katana?"

Kenichi started talking about his dream a little more, and I thought about Sasuke. The meditation hadn't been going anywhere anyway. Just what was this feeling? For the last couple days the pit of my stomach had dropped just seeing him. He'd been less friendly, and I wondered if I did something to cause it. I smiled at my companion and tuned back in to what he was saying. Those thoughts weren't going anywhere either.

At sunset Kenichi and I rejoined the others, and I informed Mitsuba of what I'd seen. The dogs had scattered, and the sky was clear for kilometers in all directions. We were as good to go as possible. Sasuke stood off to the side, talking to Kenichi in a quiet voice, sheathing his katana with a click of guard meeting sheath. Sunako dumped a scoop of dirt onto the small fire they'd been using to roast the last of our forest scavenging before the desert crossing.

It was the most dangerous, and quickest, part of our route. Precisely in the middle of the desert part of the merchant road there would be an outpost staffed with a rotating squad of Sand shinobi that we would reach just after sunup. In the space before and after was nothing but shifting sand, wild animals, and even wilder people.

My team flanked the wagon with Sasuke bringing up the rear. We'd stay in formation like this the whole trip, with only Sasuke and I switching positions every four hours. Mitsuba sprung into the wagon seat, grabbing his long-handled switch which he flicked in the air over the horse's backs. I climbed beside him, and folded my hands, preparing to use my sight at a moment's notice.

We spotted the waystation just as dawn began to pearl the sky. The kids had been flagging, apparently they weren't used to switching up sleep schedules. Personally, I was tired, too, and looking forward to the barracks that were set aside for travelers. Mitsuba had assured us that he was likely the only wagon out this late in the year, but the road between Fire and Sand was passable until late December. I agreed, winter came slowly to Konoha. Snow didn't happen often in Suna, but horrible rain storms were common during the winter months.

It was still clear to my eyes, though, so I trotted ahead of the wagon, keeping my byakugan trained on Sunako who was solo scouting. Sasuke would be shadowing Kenichi in the back. I huffed a sigh before putting my fingers to my lips to whistle the girl back. She had to have seen the walls of the waypoint as well. I was anxious to sleep in a bed, even if it was just a cot.

I watched Sunako turn to come back and relaxed my eyes, rubbing them irritably. I hadn't spent much time here besides the few weeks we were here for the chunin exam. The dry air was hell on my eyes. I wished a rainstorm might materialize just before we head out again at sunset. I turned as I heard Sasuke and Kenichi come to my side.

"Those are the walls we're looking for?" Sasuke paused so I stopped, allowing Mitsuba to drive past us.

I nodded and Sunako raced in just to stand slumped beside Kenichi. "Yes. We'll get a report from whoever is on duty there and then dinner and bed."

"Report?" Kenichi looked puzzled.

"Sure," I smiled. "They track animals, storms, and sometimes have eyes on bandits and loners out here doing the kamis know what."

Susuke gave an answering nod, "Then let's catch the wagon."

We all suited his words, the four of us running alongside as it rumbled toward the gates we could now see clearly. A pair of guards wearing what I think of as Suna standard were waving at us. I waved back, and picked up my feet.

"Uncle Yusei!" A female called out and ran up to meet us as her companion pushed the heavy bolt on the doors to open them for the wagon.

Mitsuba's weathered face split into a grin, "Looking good, Koharu!" He glanced down at me, "Koharu's my niece. The family doesn't have a lot of shinobi, but each generation feeds a few to the Village."

Koharu had long brown hair under the cap most Suna shinobi preferred. As the wagon got closer, she jumped into the seat beside her uncle, flashing washed blue eyes and a multitude of freckles over her nose and cheeks. She was tall, too, reminding me of Temari.

"You brought us some Leaf shinobi!" Koharu giggled, "Ohh, Uncle, it's not my birthday. What a cutie."

"Settle down, girl. I gotta see to the horses."

Koharu stepped down when the wagon rolled to a standstill. "Who's in charge?"

"I guess that's me," I said. "I'm Hyuga Hinata."

"Mitsuba Koharu. Come on, I'll show your team where you can start a fire and sleep."

We followed her bubbly energy to the side where a long, low building was next to an equally squat water tank and a couple of sheds. She caught my curious glance.

"We stay here for a month before we get rotated to a different duty. We also bring in supplies. There's food and extra bedding. Medical supplies and weapons." She flipped a hand toward the barrack, "There's a big firepit inside, along with a pretty decent field kitchen. You're welcome to eat out with us or do your own thing." She turned to Sasuke, "And what's your name, cutie? Can I make you something?"

"No. I'm hers."

I nearly blushed enough to make me think all my blood was in my cheeks. Kenichi looked shocked to his toes and Sunako burst out laughing.

"Aren't you lucky." Her voice grew slightly caustic, "The offer stands anyway." She walked out and with a backward glance and a voice she had to know we'd hear, "Fat cow. How's she a shinobi, anyway?"

I felt my eyes widen and my chest tighten in anxious breaths. I haven't felt this way since before meeting Itachi. I couldn't help the tears that welled, even as I heard the others start trying to make me feel better. Which, ironically, always makes everything worse. It was like the old days when Shino and Kiba would stand up for me, and I'd fall apart like a poorly made doll.

Sunako frowned, crossing her arms over her chest, "What a bitch."

"You didn't get a report." Kenichi touched my shoulder all too briefly, "Are you okay, Hinata-sensei?"

I rubbed a hand over my bump, "I…," I tried to shore up my croaky voice, "I'm used to it. I'm going to bed."

"We don't need a report." Sasuke spoke quietly enough to make me turn to listen to him, "And you aren't going to bed before you eat."

"Kenichi, Sunako," I tried desperately to get them to leave for a minute or two. I didn't want them to witness this, "Do you mind going and checking on…"

"C'mon, dummy.'' Sunako tugged on Keinchi's sleeve, and nearly dragged the boy out.

My tears spilled all at once, making my nose run and cheeks redden further. I am always such a mess, and now Sasuke wanted to stick his katana in it. I took a step toward the cots at the back of the room. He moved to block me, and stopped me by running a thumb under my eye, wiping tears off one cheek.

"I'm sorry. I could have handled that better."

I shook my head, "Every time I think I know where I stand with you, it changes." I sniffled, and turned my face from his hand. "Sasuke, I'll give up the seat right now. I'll move back in with my father, and get you off the team. I want you to be happy, I just don't know how to do it."

"Just let me make me happy, Hinata." He surprised me again, tipping my chin up, "Please don't cry over some stupid comment, and don't let me ruin your day either. I'll figure out how to deal with things. Just put up with me for a while longer."

AN/ Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu is the Demonic Illusion: False Surroundings Technique; apparently a 'C' rank jutsu. So, totally within Sunako's ability. Sukhasana is a yoga meditation pose.