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Chapter 22 Hidane

Zuko threw himself into the motions. He put the heat of his rage with his blades and sent it off, never letting it build up enough to take on any hue. It made the air around him flare and shimmer, distorting his movements just a tiny bit to anyone watching.

With the stress of the past days and the emotional turmoil he kept being thrown into, his body searched for an outlet. Swords and physical movement weren't enough. This wasn't quite, either, but he was still in control, it didn't look like firebending, even though, in a way, it was. And even if it did, he did not care. He hurt, the words of the group hurt. They had shattered his whole view on their perceived relationship, their…

He could feel the presence of Nukilik, watching. There was a bit of fire in everyone, even in Water Tribe Warriors. He wondered if they realised. Keeping his eyes closed, he sent out his heat. So what if it reached the shores of Nukilik's light? He knew the heat wasn't at a dangerous level; he was in control.

How could the group have done this? Denied his truth, laid asunder his beliefs. They'd always seemed candid, but apparently, he should have applied their straightforwardness to their treatment of him as well. Instead of seeing him in their debt and allowing him to do reparations, they had reduced him to just a prisoner, they had shackled him and treated him like a slave at risk of running away. Cause it seemed that was all he'd been to them, a prisoner, and another mouth to feed. No, that wasn't right, it wasn't that simple, as their debt discussion had indicated. The whole matter suddenly seemed so deceitful, ambiguous. He hadn't expected it, he hadn't been prepared.

He swung his dao into another series of kata. They definitely hadn't meant for him to just walk off, that part was definitely true. From the moment they'd found out who he was, Sokka had made him a prisoner, and though it had been clear that Toph and Aang disapproved of that, they hadn't exactly put a stop to it. Katara, for whatever reason, had seemed to at least trust him to not run off, as she had given him leeway to be on his own every now and again, unlike her brother.

They had encouraged his thinking of not being allowed to leave. They clearly hadn't intended to let him go at that point anyway. And he'd been too physically weak to leave, too.

His breathing had sped up during the workout and he felt a trickle of sweat running down his neck, the sand below his feet had become comfortably warm, not heat-sapping; dry, no longer damp. He dug in his toes to prepare for a twist and kick.

They'd just kept him close, they could have left him behind at any point, they could have flown away and gone with the wind. Zuko hadn't had any resources to follow them, he wouldn't have posed a threat to them. They could have friggin given him a choice.

He was pretty sure they hadn't thought that far, Toph probably had been worried about him getting captured again, and to be fair, so had he. He should have parted ways with them after the desert, but things had finally started to look up for him in the group. He was tired of hiding, of running, barely surviving.

Look where that had gotten him: Stuck in an enemy war camp and dragged into his worst nightmare by Toph. Toph, the blind girl whom he had reluctantly started to trust.

Why did shit like this always keep happening to him?

He felt the heat from within raise another notch as he moved his swords into a forceful swing.

They had said he didn't owe them. They had taken away the one reason why he'd tolerated and endured their ridiculous behaviour towards him. What did that leave him with?

If he didn't owe them, then he had no reason to stick around. Why had they kept him close? Why hadn't they sent him away? What had he been to them, a charity case?

But they hadn't wasted a single thought on what coming into a Water Tribe war camp might mean for him. He didn't exactly blame them; the siblings had, of course, wanted to see their father.

It made him even angrier, bringing him to a high simmer. He buried his toes in the sand again, twisted and twirled. With that swing, the flames finally escaped invisibility, flickering in rich variations of orange and red hues. He couldn't hold back, he didn't want to.

He heard Nukilik draw in a shocked breath, but there were no shouts to stop him.

Back then, on the bison, flying over the cliffs, the camp had appeared so suddenly, it all had happened so quickly, he hadn't had time to react, to ask to be dropped off. They'd gotten him to the point where he hadn't even thought about it. Realising that felt even worse. Angry at them, at himself, at the world.

Flames licked around his blades, followed them, glowing brightly. For once, it actually made him feel better. This was him, the swordsman, the firebender. Two sides of him that he rarely ever combined. It was a rush, it made him feel a bit more like himself.

He shifted his focus to that, as he kept going through sword katas, sending flames alongside them. He was more careful of avoiding Nukilik now, as these flames could actually do harm. He was glad to have a reason to put some distance between himself and his guard, even if Nukilik was nice about it.

He focused on being aware of his body, from his toes to his fingertips and beyond. He didn't let his fire take up a lot of space. He didn't think of the why, he just did it and let himself wear out in a controlled manner. The warmth that surrounded him was his, and his alone. A beacon, a declaration that he was alive.

Only when he felt his body starting to shake from the strain of continuous action, he paused and leaned forward to catch his breath.

"That was pretty neat!" A voice said from the sidelines. Zuko relaxed a tiny bit as he realised it was Nukilik. "I've never seen firebending combined with swords."

"It isn't something that is usually done," Zuko murmured, starting to walk slowly to cool off. He was exhausted, and the anger had died down to banked embers, ready to reignite at any time, but appearing harmlessly burnt out. Instead of telling Zuko what to do, Nukilik fell into step with him.

"Why not?" Nukilik asked.

"Because firebending is considered superior. Weapons are the honourable alternative for non-benders."

"Oh…" Nukilik said, walking along the shoreline. Zuko was glad that Nukilik was not having him explain the implications. Instead, the warrior asked: "Where did you learn?"

"I was taught by a Sword Master."

"Interesting. I could have sworn I saw waterbending movements in there. Your fire moved a bit like Katara's water, too."

Zuko paused. Now that he thought about it, Nukilik was right. Some sword kata were quite similar to waterbending. And they had worked quite well. They were less strenuous on his ki and they made for good blocks and counters, especially in close quarters.

"The way of the sword doesn't belong to any one nation. That's what my Master used to say. He took inspiration from lots of places. He isn't a bender, but he definitely went through life with his mind open, so I'm not surprised. He also taught me how to sew, amongst other life skills, it was all part of the training." Zuko felt the need to point out.

"How does that relate to training?" Nukilik asked curiously. Zuko was glad to have something else than the group's betrayal to focus on.

"Pretty much any task can be taken as a mindfulness exercise. So why not take one that needs to get done anyway. It taught me to be resourceful and more self-sufficient. It also taught me that from the lowest stem of grass to the highest ruler, all are subject to the same wears and tears. I guess I had forgotten that lesson."

"Hmm. Hey… wanna teach me some things?"

"About sewing?"

Nukilik laughed, grateful the Prince's sombre mood wasn't sticking. "No, you dork, I meant, like, wanna spar?"

Zuko's eyes narrowed. "Absolutely not."

"Oh come on."

"And someone seeing it as an attack against you, no." Zuko tried to shut Nukilik out, his eagerness a bit too close to the past for confort.

"Ugh, you're right, sadly. I don't want to get you in trouble. But hey, maybe you could still teach me some things. I don't get the chance to learn new techniques very often, and especially not from a Sword Master."

"I'm not a Master."

"Yes, you are. I've never seen anyone that good with blades and I had a chance to hang out with a couple of Earth Kingdom swordsmen too. Most don't even come close to your level of skill. And you're not doing it with one blade, you're doing it with two of them."

"They aren't two blades. They are one of a pair, working in tandem. And I'm not a Master" He pressed that point hard, pausing a bit before he continued "It isn't only maintaining a clean technique that marks a master, it's also years of experience… But I suppose I can show you a thing or two. What are your usual weapons?"

"I'm alright with a spear."

"Hm, show me some of your drills."

00000

Hakoda stood next to Bato, as they observed a fuming teenager. One that had until just a few minutes ago been very obviously firebending. They had actually called for their Chief when the first flames had burst free. Nukilik had stayed stationary and Zuko seemed to have moved just out of range to do his thing. And what a show it had been. Lots of the men had come and started watching, their spears at the ready just in case.

Something had gone down. Nukilik had been the only one besides the two kids and his daughter that had witnessed what had happened. And they all had stayed uncharacteristically quiet, guilty. They hadn't said a word.

Hakoda was glad that they didn't have to go down there, armed with spears and clubs, and circle the boy. Nukilik had done his job, staying close, monitoring the ex-Prince, and talking to him when he had seemed to finally pause. Hakoda was out of hearing distance, but what had been said must have been effective, the brief moment of Zuko tensing again, had also been diverted successfully.

Then, something very unexpected took form. They had stopped their stroll after the artful display, and Nukilik had taken a step back and started a spear drill?

And then Zuko had started gesturing, taking on a stance himself. Nukilik followed his example.

Hakoda realised at once that Zuko was teaching. The ex-Prince of the Fire Nation, with whom he would need to have a word about using firebending after having agreed not to, was teaching one of his warriors. He definitely had not seen that one coming.

It also gave him hope, sparked an idea. He looked over to Sokka, who had an unreadable expression on his face as he observed the happenings on the beach.

00000

There was an uncomfortable feeling in Sokka's stomach as he watched Zuko giving tips to the warrior supposed to be guarding him. Zuko had gone from raging like a literal firestorm, albeit a surprisingly contained one, to calmly discussing what seemed to be footwork. What the heck?

He had no idea what had ticked Zuko off. The Firebender had a temper, but he was neither stupid nor suicidal. Sokka knew that he'd agreed not to bend, and he'd learned that this version of Zuko, unlike his manhunting forerunner, very much paid mind to keep himself constrained.

Whatever had gotten Zuko so riled up must have been pretty intense. And Sokka, now that he thought about it, recognised that the Prince had dealt with his emotions in probably the safest way he could, and he had somehow managed to calm down while he was at it. Come to think of it: Katara paid way less mind to her surroundings when she was pissed off. Sokka had quite a bit of experience with being soaked and frozen.

Right, Katara… He'd asked her what had happened, but she had refused to tell him. She and the others looked guilty, and Katara sent him a glare, even though they had made up. Damn, he missed the days when everything had been right between him and his sister.

Now, he was watching the ex-Prince of the Fire Nation, the man-boy who had hunted them across the world, as he was teaching a Water Tribe Warrior what looked like the basics of sword fighting. Those certainly weren't spear stances no more.

It sent pangs of jealousy through his guts. Not just because Zuko had turned out to be the possibly best swordsman he knew on top of being a firebender, but also because the guy had just-so pulled the skill out of seemingly thin air and went ahead to pass it on. He'd spent the past month in close quarters with the guy. For La's sake, how had Zuko been able to hide it?

Why did friggin Prince Zuko have to be a skilled swordsman, too? Why did it have to be Zuko, with whom he had so much negative history, that knew the very thing he wanted to learn about? It wasn't that he didn't like the weapons the Water Tribe used, they were great; he obviously loved his boomerang; a spear had better reach than a sword; a machete was versatile; a club maybe a little less so, but one could build up a lot of momentum with its weight, and it would do damage without spilling a lot of blood. And his father had loved to walk him through the basics of their weapons.

But there was just something about the sleek cutting edge of a sword that absolutely fascinated him. Nukilik had just lost his balance and started laughing. Zuko's lips tipped upwards for once. It looked fun, they looked kind of like friends. Had Nukilik asked? Had Zuko offered?

Sokka was surrounded by people he knew, yet, there was this rift he just couldn't quite cross. They saw him as the Chief's son; the Avatar's companion; they did not see him as a warrior, as someone to relate to, to hang out with. How was Zuko, who was from the enemy Nation, and so friggin awkward and tense all the time, able to get to this point?

Well, Nukilik was stuck with him, so maybe that was why.

Either way. Sokka suddenly found himself wanting what Zuko seemed to have. Companionship, a male friend that was as excited in the pointy-shiny arts as he was. A teacher. Someone roughly his age.

Somehow, Zuko suddenly seemed to portray and unify a lot of those things.

At this moment, something big and white shot down from the sky, sand clouds billowing from the dry epicentre of Zuko's rage. Appa groaned as he tackled Zuko and gave him a gentle lick which was met by protesting noises, and Zuko trying to get away.

Sokka couldn't help himself but grin a little at that, Zuko's reaction was way too funny.

00000

Zuko wiped the slobber from his face, flabbergasted. Appa was here, and had knocked him over with his lick too, and now sand was sticking to the saliva on his clothes and skin, not the most pleasant feeling. Appa was here!

Zuko had stayed far away from him for the past few days, for good reason, too. He didn't want to be misunderstood, and accused of trying to take Appa to get out of here. But all the trying to stay away helped nothing if Appa came to him. And of course, he'd done it just after Zuko had broken some rules.

"Appa, no! Go away."

Appa did not, in fact, go away. Instead, he approached him and tackled him to the ground again, gently pressing his nose into his abdomen and grumbling. He sounded satisfied.

"Appa, you're going to get me into trouble," Zuko exclaimed, trying to push the Sky Bison away once more.

To the side, he heard Nukilik laughing. And Appa just nuzzled him more and Zuko felt himself melt. Appa was here to comfort him. And his guard found it funny, rather than worrying.

"Ugh, at least let me get up," Zuko requested, which led to the big animal raising his head enough that Zuko could scramble to his feet.

"Thank you Appa," he hugged the giant head and buried his face in his fur. The giant grumbled again, clearly enjoying finally having been able to get his target more or less alone, in open space.

Appa opened his mouth to lick his charge again, but at that, Zuko stumbled backwards.

"No thanks, I'm good," he said before moving over to a spot so he could give Appa some chin scratches.

After a while, Zuko saw Nukilik turn from the edge of his eye and turned to check what was going on. The Chief was walking towards them, alone.

Zuko straightened but kept his hand on the bison. He knew why the Chief was here. He didn't want to go back inside for another discussion, however.

00000

Nobody had expected the Sky Bison to do this. And the Firebender was obviously uncomfortable. It made Hakoda think that he in fact had never seen Zuko go close to the animal, despite them not having had an agreement not to. It made him realise how closely Zuko really monitored his actions. Still, he did have to address the matter of Firebending.

Zuko did greet him with a nod. Hakoda greeted him by name, face serious, but not angry.

Zuko did that weird Fire Nation hand gesture and tipped into a slight bow. "I apologise for breaking my word."

Hakoda very clearly noted the distinction of apologising for breaking his promise, rather than the action. The boy stood where he was, not budging.

"Mind telling me what happened?"

"I'd rather not."

"Zuko, I know this is not easy, and I see that you were very safe about how you handled your rage, but it would help me to understand what ticked you off. I need reasons to let you off without consequence. Work with me here, please." he sighed.

"Toph apologised and cleared up some things."

"Sounds like she had good intentions." Hakoda carefully said. There was more to this, Hakoda hoped to at least get an idea of what he was dealing with. Meanwhile, the boy continued to give the bison scratches, probably to ground himself.

"Can't trust them." Zuko kept his eyes on the bison, his voice a little muffled by the volume of fur.

"Why not? They all seem quite protective of you."

Zuko huffed, not liking Hakoda's reply. "Sure they are."

"So what is it?"

"I thought of myself as something, and they want me to be something else. Same as you, and same as everyone in this camp. I just want to be me." Zuko's tone turned bitter as a winter gale.

"But who are you, and what do you want?" Hakoda said, his tone careful.

"I want to be the leader my people need. But you want me to be a piece on the board, same as my Uncle. The rest of my family want me dead, and the group. I don't know what the group wants me to be anymore. I thought I was their equal, working my way to pay for the wrongs against them. And now they shove that aside, saying there was no debt to begin with. Then why shackle me every night? Why imprison me like some low-life cur? Why? Why… Why!"

Inwardly, Hakoda flinched. He hadn't known that, but he couldn't let this outburst stop his effort to comprehend, and maybe mend the fractured bridges.

"Prince Zuko, I can not fully speak for the Avatar or for Lady Bei Fong, nor outright for my children, but please listen," he began slowly, as Zuko looked him in the eye, his golden gaze creepily like an ice-hawks, "You have made it clear, as have my children, that you did not start as allies. I know you have atoned for this deeply, and I can see you are a man of your word, bound to it even. But you must understand, our binds are of family. And for a time, you had threatened my children's family. I am not excusing their actions, and they should have made it clear that you had paid your debts to them, but at the same time, please understand they were not acting out of malice, merely precautionary. Allow them to show to you they trust, honour and respect you as you have offered them, and I truly hope you can find space to trust, honour and respect them once again."

"I can try." Zuko's reply was short, his breathing growing more measured.

"Good. You know, my father, may La bring him eternal rest, had a saying for such a time as this. Much as a boat when it survives a rough storm comes out the better for it, so the same is for friendships. Good friends, true friends, you will have disagreements with, but you will also have days of clear sailing and bright laughter. I hope that you can see that in your future." Hakoda finished, an eye still trailed on Zuko for his reaction. The boy looked uncomfortable. "Well, keep yourself out of trouble! And come back to camp when you are ready to part with your big furry friend."

Zuko breathed lightly, mouth twitching upwards lightly as he said his thanks. Hakoda nodded, before turning to go, a small smile of his own on his face.

00000

Once Zuko returned, he was quickly roped into filling out the copy that had been made from their tourist map. Zuko was glad that whoever copied, had had the mind to leave out the inscriptions, just copying the coastlines, so he had a lot of space to work with, drawing where he remembered the naval forts, the important towns, a rough estimate of the smaller villages, the mountain ranges he had to memorise the names of. He paid more careful attention to the plains around Caldera city, the imagery having been burned into his mind from the viewing platforms the royal family had gone to every now and again. It was one of those views that he missed, with the way the last glimmers of sunlight would glint off of the red tile kirizuma roofs, and the distant smells of the city that made it feel alive.

In another part of the yurt, he could hear men discussing how to approach scouting out the mainland for landing spots without detection. If they were to approach the capital via land. There was talk of Earthbender involvement, helping along with travels overland. And a discussion on if they wouldn't leave a trail by disrupting the vegetation.

Zuko got once more annoyed at their ignorance, they had an Earthbender right here in the camp that was willing to answer all those questions. But he still needed time to be considering rapprochement with the group, before was willing to point that out.

He started a legend at the side of the map but stopped to think about what it would mean to start writing. If this ever got into the wrong hands and had his writing on it, everyone would be in big trouble. If it became known that he helped them, not only he was in danger, even more so than now, but they would know where the information had come from. It would give them a probably accurate guess on just how much the Water Tribe knew… No, he couldn't write this.

"Chief Hakoda?" He called out. "I can continue to draw, and explain if need be, but it's too dangerous for the cause, for me to write anything down. I don't want to risk anyone recognising my handwriting, regardless of which script I'd use"

Hakoda, who had come over, nodded thoughtfully. It was a reasonable safety measure. "Bato? Can you assist Zuko in writing please?"

"Have Juoksa do it if you want it to be somewhat clean. I'd probably end up having to cross out and re-writing a bunch of stuff, so that would be a waste of effort and paper."

"Fair, but you'll have to switch with him, as he is currently taking notes on what is being discussed in the small circles."

Zuko would certainly have preferred Bato to stay here. At least he was a familiar enough face that he knew what to expect with. He didn't know the wiry man with glasses on his nose and ink stains on his fingertips, who was coming over. Neither did he introduce himself, instead simply sat down next to Zuko, coming straight to the point.

"What do you need me to write?"

Zuko had expected to need to explain himself again, so he was glad he only had to point out what to do. He was tired of having to elaborate on his reasoning all the time.

Juoksa had clear, precise strokes, easily readable, though not always in the traditional order. He copied the place names that had been on the old map, but for their strategical information, switched into a much lesser known script, the one that Zuko had only ever read on historical scrolls while on his search.

Since Zuko had already started the symbols on the legends, filling those out didn't take a lot of time. The real challenge started when they moved on to villages and mountain ranges where Zuko had to translate and point out the locations.

Much to his dismay, he did notice that his memory had become muddled in some lesser-known areas.

They focused on the main island, first and foremost. Though he did point out some important military and naval posts elsewhere too.

Explaining volcanoes and the factual info that the map provided was more difficult. Height was simple enough, and explaining the symbol for active,dormant and extinct, was alright, but explaining why it was important and how they knew was another matter altogether.

Juoksa was a man who tried hard to understand. Zuko tried twice, but the man kept pushing and Zuko was tired of being questioned, so he put a stop to it.

He also doubted that the man would appreciate Zuko telling him that everyone had a little flame inside of them. And that Zuko could in fact feel his if he reached out with his senses.

Hakoda came to check up on them a while later, and seeing how far they had progressed, told them to take a break when they reached a good stopping point. Some other groups were already finishing up and leaving too, while others were still deep in discussion. Zuko was looking forward to getting outside. He sought out a calm lonely spot to air out his head, eat and drink something, and just relax a little. Of course, that was cut short again when Bato approached and requested that he come with him. Zuko looked at him quizzically, raising his lone eyebrow, before Bato said it was for his own good. Reluctantly, Zuko put down his bowl and followed him.

00000

"What are we doing here?" Zuko asked, sceptically standing outside of what had to be the infirmary. He remembered Bato coming out of this tent with the ointment for his scar.

Bato just held open the tent flap. "Come on in."

The tent was lit from a table in the back and above by two lanterns, these were filled solely with yellow Jennamite which suffused the room in a comfortable sheen. There were no weird, cold, green tints in sight. The man waiting inside was one of the older men in the camp, maybe around forty, with steely blue eyes and many beads in his hair. There were herbal smells, lavender being the most prominent one, which Zuko attributed to the little bags that had been hung up at places. Bound back sheets probably served as screens for privacy, and in the centre, there were two bunks covered with fur. On the desk was a swung-open medical chest. Zuko could see a bunch of bottles neatly aligned inside of it. Quickly he read over those labels written in Earth Kingdom script, not surprised to see cod liver oil on one. Further surveying the room, his eyes moved to the candle next to the box on the table as it flickered weakly, a small comfort.

Zuko didn't like where this was going so far and though the lavender helped, some of the underlying smells still brought forward a bit of queasiness from memories of past stays in infirmaries.

"This is Hegri, our medic," said Bato, letting the statement sink in without giving any additional information on why he'd brought Zuko here.

"Am I to help you with something?" Zuko finally asked, getting restless.

"Bato wants me to check you over," Hegri said in a gruff voice, then sighed as he realised: "he didn't tell you."

"No, he didn't," Zuko said, shooting an accusing glance towards Bato, who just stood there, arms crossed. "I'm fine, I don't need a health check."

"You were hypothermic, and you're not in the best of health, no offence. I'd rather you don't get down with a cold, especially not since we're sharing a tent." reminded Bato. "And then, I wanted to give you an opportunity to discuss the health-related after-effects of your captivity with someone more experienced than Katara. I can't force you to talk about that, but Hegri here might be able to shed light on your prospects of recovery as well as possible treatments if you talk to him."

"Why are you doing this?" Zuko said, still not trusting this one bit. What were they trying to learn about him with this? The history of his many scars? If and how much his injuries still affected him?

"Does it matter? It won't hurt you and probably doesn't tell us anything new." Which Bato deemed the truth, they'd seen him practice fighting and therefore had a rough idea of what he was capable of with his swords alone. He'd also learned a couple of things just by talking to the other kids travelling with him. Sokka had told him about the suspected visual impairment, and they'd seen him react to mental triggers.

Though Bato was admittedly interested in how easily the ex-Prince could twist his body to throw a firebolt behind him for example, they couldn't very well include the Prince in a mock fight, so they would need to make do with Hegri's assessment on that.

"What you discuss with Hegri that's between him and you, we on the outside won't get details" Bato added finally. "Unless you want me to stay here."

It was the truth, Hegri would tell his findings to those he deemed necessary, but he wouldn't divulge the details of what Zuko might tell him during the exam.

Zuko seemed to have accepted that this was happening, as he squared his shoulders and quietly said: "Just wait behind the screen."

Bato honestly hadn't known how the boy would decide if he'd let this happen at all. It was obvious that Zuko had endured bad things while alone with other men. He'd fully expected to be sent outside the tent as a whole, but he'd seen the possibility that his presence might give the boy a bit of security in the face of having to let a stranger close to his person. Bato liked to believe he'd gained a little bit of trust, but with knowing what the boy had endured, that meant very little when feeling vulnerable.

Hegri unfastened the screen and let it fall closed so that Bato only saw their shadows faintly moving from behind the lantern light behind them.

"Alright, let's get this done with, take off your shirt."

A sigh, then shuffling and a grunt.

"Well, you could certainly use some more meat on your bones."

Zuko snorted humourlessly.

"You were hypothermic, did you have any pain or scratchiness in your throat since?"

"No."

"I want to listen to your lungs either way."

"Fine." the ex-Prince's voice didn't sound particularly willing, but he let the shadow of Hegri's head come close to his chest until it was pressed against it.

"Take a couple of deep breaths, then cough." Hegri listened on the front, then had Zuko turn around, so he could listen from the back as well.

Bato couldn't hear much of the breathing, but he heard the coughing. It didn't sound bad to him.

"Your lungs sound alright. Are those whip scars?"

"Yes."

Hegri's shadow hand disappeared in Zuko's upper back's shadow, probably poking and stretching at the skin.

"This healed exceptionally well…" Hegri's shadow moved to a different spot. "What caused those small burn scars?"

"Which ones?"

"Those that, quite frankly, look, as if someone took something hot to your back and pressed it in."

"Why does it matter?"

"Some look quite old."

"I wasn't working hard enough: my father gave me an incentive. And well, my sister liked to play with risks, usually at my expense."

While Bato couldn't see, Hegri's description sounded ugly enough. What father would do that to his child, and tolerate such behaviour between siblings? Then Hegri asked the question that had been on Bato's mind the most.

"How old were you when your father did this the first time?"

"Don't know, six maybe? Old enough to do better."

Hegri's shadow dropped his hand and shook his head. "Sit down."

Zuko's shadow did so without a word. Hegri's shadow hand lifted one of Zuko's arms and started to test the range of motion, first wide circles on one shoulder, then folding the arm before circling the wrist. Before long, he moved to the other arm.

Bato never heard the boy hiss, but Hegri must have seen his expression because he asked: "Does this hurt?"

"Just bad memories…"

A non-answer, Bato wasn't sure if the Prince just evaded admitting that he was in pain, or if memories were really the only reason, from what he knew, both may be likely, and possibly interconnected. Sometimes, mental scars were just as long-lasting as medical issues.

"You're slightly less flexible on the other side."

"Yeh, I've dislocated that arm before."

"You're reacting more on this side. Overcompensated for the other arm?"

"Probably."

"Hmm. How did it happen?"

"The dislocation? Combat training, I fell wrong, was a long time ago."

Again, Hegri's hands moved on, down to the elbow, and then Zuko's wrist, testing for mobility.

"Do you experience any pain, odd sensations, weakness, discomfort, or numbness in your hands?"

"I did, and I still have the ants feeling sometimes, but at least the weakness has largely passed by now. I could barely hold anything for a while."

If that was true, then Bato deemed him lucky to have gotten this much normality back into his hands, and so quickly. If he had understood Sokka correctly, then the boy had been suspended from his wrists for extended periods of time.

"How long ago were you freed?"

"I don't know exactly, but probably around a month ago."

In that case, even the ants-feeling could cease with enough time, though it was not a given.

"And how long have you been held captive?"

"About two weeks I think, time was blurring together."

Hegri's shadow seemed to poke at Zuko's wrist. "Not what I expected. The most noticeable scarring is at the edges around the injury, the rest really looks almost like a fresh patch of normal new skin. Why is it so smooth in the middle? Looks older than it should, too, how did you manage that?"

"Katara healed them."

"She can do that?"

"Yes, with waterbending. I think she drew out the infection and urged the wounds to close."

"Luckily, the scars don't seem to impair your movement in the wrist joints too much. Grab my hands."

"Good grip on both, too."

"Can we move on?"

"Take off your trousers."

"No." Zuko's tone had turned aggressive in an instant and Bato didn't blame him.

"Calm down, I don't mean it that way."

"I don't care, I'm not gonna take them off."

"At least push up your pant legs then."

Zuko's shadow shifted, tense and ready to get up. "What are you looking for? There's nothing wrong with my legs."

"You have a slightly weird gait at times, yes, I want to see your legs."

"My sandals had been taken away and my ankles were shackled together. So it may have affected how I walk, but there's nothing wrong with my legs, and even if there was, what could you possibly do about it?" Zuko's voice was still angry.

"Fair, so you're not having any pain?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then we don't have to do anything."

"No shit. We done?"

"How is that scar affecting your sight and hearing?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

"I can still see out of my bad eye, but I can't see things clearly unless the distance is just right."

"What about hearing?"

Zuko threw his hands upwards, annoyed. "Why does everyone assume that I'm deaf on that side? It was a fire-fist, not an explosion."

Bato felt his breath catch.

"I expected a healer to differentiate based on sets of likely injuries," Zuko continued to mutter.

"Oh? Do you know better?" Hegri asked, a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, someone blew up my ship, while I was still on it."

There was a long pause. Bato didn't blame Hegri, this was horrifying.

Hegri eventually tried to find words, somewhat shaken: "That is…" he didn't complete the sentence.

"Indeed," Zuko replied, tone mocking. "Life didn't treat me kindly. I know."

Another awkward quiet pause. Then Hegri came back to the subject. "So, I assume it that did affect your hearing."

Zuko grunted in affirmation. "I was lucky to be able to protect myself with firebending, but even so, you don't really escape the shockwave entirely. Had a permanent high droning in both ears for a while, but it passed. I hear fine. Is that all?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

Zuko quite literally sprang up and already grabbed for the curtain when Hegri called him back. "Wait, Bato did give you burn ointment, right?" The boy's shadow nodded. "I'm giving you another salve, as well." He held out a small jar, which Zuko took, a bit befuddled.

"It helps prevent infections on open wounds of any kind, take care of yourself. Now go, I can see how much you want to get out of here."

Zuko didn't need to be told twice.

00000

That evening, Zuko requested to go to the shore again to meditate, once more it was Nukilik who shadowed him. Zuko was glad. He sat down in the dried sand and called forth a small flame, cradling it against the strong breeze that was pulling at his hair this evening. Nukilik placed himself closely and apparently used the light to see whatever handiwork he was doing in his lap.

The day had been really long and now that Zuko finally sat down, exhaustion crept in at an alarming rate, he focused on that little flame, on breathing into the depths of his lungs. Zuko sent his senses outwards again, for the first time in days not because his mind was craving to know his surroundings in an attempt of vigilance, but just because he could. In the cool evening wind, Nukilik's inner flame stood out like a torch, and further back, he could feel people moving within the camp too, now, as well as the fireplaces.

He didn't feel safe, not exactly, but he felt reprieve from constant scrutiny, and it helped a lot.

He was too tired to reflect on the day. After half an hour, they returned to camp and Zuko sought out Bato.

"I'd like to retire," Zuko stated and Bato nodded.

"You know where the tent is. Sleep well."

00000

"You did well, Son," Hakoda spoke to his son in a calm moment alone at the camp fire. Sokka hadn't said a lot this evening while surrounded by the men of their tribe.

Sokka looked up, somewhat lost in thought.

"You did well. You stood up for Zuko in a way that I couldn't have."

"Thanks, I guess." The voice was bland, the proud smile he'd expected absent.

Hakoda saw that something was eating up his son and it made him worried. He knew Katara had welcomed Sokka back after he'd apologized, and the awkwardness within the group was fading too, as they no longer ostracised Sokka for what he'd done. Within the tribe, the men talked and teased him and everything seemed normal, but whenever Sokka was out of a group setting, his face fell. Just as it had done now.

Hakoda missed that bright honest smile, but he was glad, too, that Sokka finally wasn't trying to cover up whatever he was feeling in front of him.

"Sokka, what's on your mind?"

"A bunch of things," he said. Hakoda waited, giving him time and room to sort through his thoughts. It took Sokka longer than Hakoda had expected.

"I… uh… Zuko, Nukilik, I think I… uh… feel jealous."

"Because Zuko was teaching Nukilik about the art of the sword?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. But also, that Zuko got the skill in the first place. That when Zuko taught Nukilik, it looked like they were friends. It's so, ugh, I shouldn't be jealous of Zuko, his life has been pretty shitty, and Nukilik is there as his guard, not his friend. I know that, I feel messed up."

"It's normal to be jealous of things we don't have, but it's good that you relativize it by acknowledging what you know of the context of Zuko's situation."

"He said he was cast out at 13. It's so messed up."

"It is." Hakoda agreed, waiting to see where this was going.

"When did he learn to fight like this? Why did he learn to fight with the sword, too?"

"I think he received a lot of training in his childhood, and I don't think it was a fun type of childhood."

"You're probably right, ugh. But it's still frustrating, I'm 15 now, he isn't that much older, I think, but he's very good at both firebending and sword fighting, and it's getting him respect from our warriors, he gets recognition… You left me behind because I was 13, and looking back, I'm glad I didn't have to go to war at that age, but though I went ice dodging in the meanwhile, and have passed the rite of passage, they" he said, gesturing subtly to the other tribesmen, "don't see me as a warrior because I don't have the skill or experience. It makes me angry, Zuko was already so friggin good at firebending, and now it turns out he's even better at the sword. It's supposed to be a non-bender combat form. And you're displeased that I went to the Kyoshi Warriors for training."

Hakoda felt caught. He had thought he'd hidden his perplexion back when his kids had told him about this.

"And even here, you're training me now, but it's a matter of days until we leave, Things just stay out of reach. The guys from the tribe see me as barely more than a child. I'm the Chief's son, not quite one of them. But I can't stay, can't become part, because I need to be there for Aang and Katara, Toph, as well."

"I think Zuko could use a friend too." Hakoda carefully said.

"After all that I've done to him? I don't think I'm friend material to him."

"He recognised where you were coming from, why you did it, and I think you have his respect for that, even if not from the behaviour itself. You were trying to protect the group."

Sokka looked down.

"Yeh, he told me something like that, wasn't even mad at me, just told me that he doesn't trust me with his life, which, fair, and that he'd protect himself from now on."

"He accepted your apology however, didn't he?"

"Yeh." Sokka admitted.

"You defended him today… Never would have thought I'd be saying this, but I think it would do you both good to befriend each other. You both need friends your age, and you're right, you'll leave in a few days, and so will he."

"What do you trying to tell me?"

"He was willing to teach the person guarding him, so he might be willing to teach you. You should ask him."

"You'd be okay with that?"

"I can't teach you when you leave, he can. And I know you've always held a fascination for swords."

Sokka seemed speechless.

"I'm sorry son," Hakoda said, putting his hand on his son's shoulder, looking him in the eye. "I'm sorry that I couldn't, and still can't teach you the way you deserve. You and your sister are right, we need to be more open, and not get stuck in our ways, though I still do hope to teach you all of our warrior traditions someday. You deserve to learn how to fight and protect yourself. You deserve to have a teacher. You deserve to learn the skills that interest you."

Sokka was looking at him, emotions stirring on his face before he leaned towards Hakoda.

"I missed you, I will miss you," he whispered, voice breaking.

Hakoda put his arm around him and hugged him tight. "As have and as will I."

00000

Bato rose to thrashing and whimpering right next to him. The Prince was mumbling and fighting against the sleeping bag that held him confined, just about quiet enough not to wake the surrounding people.

Nearly everyone had bad dreams here every now and then, and Bato was more surprised that Zuko hadn't gotten one earlier, finally getting some sleep must have knocked him straight out. But now he seemed stuck in a full blown nightmare, which wasn't a surprise with the craziness of the past day, well, days, really.

"Zuko!" He'd prefer not to touch the boy when he wasn't in his right mind. The boy thrashed again, kicking and still fighting against the sleeping bag. His breaths were coming in rapid gasps. He didn't hear Bato.

"Zuko. Wake up!" Bato urged with a gentle voice. What if the boy started firebending and setting the fur lining, or even the whole tent on fire? The boy didn't react at all.

Bato sat up and carefully reached over to give the boy's shoulder a nudge, mighty glad that the boy's arms were in the sleeping bag too. He knew the Prince kept his swords right next to him, readily available.

The boy reacted immediately, though not in the way Bato had imagined. He went completely rigid and motionless. After a second, Bato heard him exhale slowly, controlled.

"Zuko?"

The boy flinched violently, losing control of his breathing at once, twisting around to be on his side, eyes towards the reason for interrupted sleep. Bato was very relieved not to see any flames.

"I'm Bato, you're safe, in the Water Tribe Camp. Do you remember?"

The Prince's golden eyes were dark, the pupil eating up most of the iris, leaving a thin circle only. Those eyes stared at Bato in mistrust, as the boy fought to regain control of his breathing.

Bato saw him move carefully as if checking up on each limb. There wasn't even a hint of a flame.

"Uh, yeah." Zuko said, finally moving to open the sleeping bag so he could get some more room. He pushed it down to his waist and drew his legs close, his eyes slowly returning to normal.

"Do you get nightmares often?"

"Yeah." Zuko admitted gingerly.

Bato thought back to the scars on the Prince's skin, back to the group's retellings, to how the boy flinched sometimes. He had more than enough reason for nightmares.

"I'm going to the loo." Zuko finally uttered scrambling to his feet while grabbing his cloak.

"If you want to talk, need an ear to listen, I'm here."

Zuko turned around sharply, one shoe in hand. "Why?"

"I.. uh" Bato definitely hadn't thought this through.

"What would talking help anyway? It's not going to change a thing."

"Talking helps the mind process what happened."

"I know what happened."

"Maybe, but you ignore it until it overwhelms you."

"Mind your own business," the Prince snapped, pulling on the second shoe and grabbing his swords.

Bato sighed as he watched him leave. Well, that impromptu talk could have gone worse, Bato just hoped that the Prince would think about what he'd said. They didn't speak when Zuko came back, a whole while later, but Bato could hear the Prince turn and shift while he drifted back off into restless sleep.

A/N: ML8991: Hey guys, hoping you are well. Firstly, sorry. I know that it is often good to try and move the story forward chronologically, especially as we grow closer to getting to the bigger pieces of the story. But equally, these moments needed to happen. Zuko is becoming more at peace with himself, having his dual fire/swordbending was great fun to develop out, which is a major step forward in my view for him, and he also now has a carte blanche step forward on handling the Gaang. The grounds for developing a true deal on how they should interact are now in place.

Further, having a medical scene allowed us a chance to explore how not quite right Zuko is physically. The guy has been through a lot, and represses a lot of trauma, but given the things he went through on the show, it speaks volumes to his tenacity to be keeping on going (shush you guys thinking of cartoon liberties :P). Having Sokka and Nukilik parallel to each other was also great to do, and I hope begins to show our perspective on what I mentioned a few ANs ago in that Sokka and Zuko are foils, they are parallel humans, and I hope we show you how we can build on Sokka's yearning for same age male companionship to become what is one of the best friendships on the show, in my view.

Looking forward to you guys seeing how we proceed from here, as we have much on the cards and some fun times ahead. Thank you for sticking with us, it means the world. Your comments are inspirational and keep us going, so stay tuned and sit tight, it's going to get more exciting, very fast.

Ystävä: so yeh, as promised, Zuko sword bending got some more screen time :)

I also really found this the perfect place to bring in Appa, who I couldn't fit into the previous chapters because there was so much going on. As ML mentioned, the last few chapters had a lot going on so it was quite a challenge to balance scenes.

I've also been trying to get some scenes in with Hakoda and his kids. This time, Hakoda finally got to be dad and have a proper dad talk with Sokka, without needing to be Chief also.

The medical exam, besides us just wanting to explore Zuko's current state of health, also served another purpose. Zuko was right to be suspicious. The water tribe was sizing him up. Not to say that Bato's arguments aren't genuine on some level, he already is sympathising with Zuko a lot. He just also has a duty, and part of it is to for one, make sure that their new ally doesn't 'die', but also that they know the level of danger they're dealing with.

Also btw. I often used to think, what does talking help? It won't change a thing.
I still struggle with it, but I found it true: Talking does help the mind process what happened.
Putting it into words forces you to acknowledge what is on your mind and trying to explain the hows and why's. And while it may not change the situation immediately. It can very well prepare your mind for some change.
Zuko isn't ready, and Bato knows very well, that he is the wrong person for this, but he tried to plant the thought in Zuko. That is all he can do right now.

As always, thank you all. And I hope to hear some of your thoughts and speculations down in the comments. Or come join us on the discord server as well. We don't bite.