Shield Kid's Bizarre Adventure!

by Allen Blaster

Collaboration with RLTygurr. Naofumi Iwatani was your typical 10-year-old kid. Young, energetic, and so done with boring old school. Now, he's been summoned to another world as the Shield Hero! Watch as our innocent young hero goes around in this new world. Causing all sorts of trouble on this adventure alongside his kid friend Raphtalia! Ch. 31: Epilogue (Complete)

29. 29: The Spirit Tortoise and the Pillow

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Spirit Tortoise and the Pillow

---

"Alright, I believe that is everyone." Gaelion nodded with satisfaction as the final level cap-breaking ritual of the day was concluded.

"Yayyyyyy! Now we can get even stronger than before!" Raphtalia cheered happily.

"Hmph. I can't believe I had to go through a dragon ritual to break my level cap." Amber turned her head away to the side and pouted.

"Hey, um, it's not like it's all bad." Melty tried to reassure her weakly while standing awkwardly beside the orange-haired angel woman.

"It's completely bad! Why can't Fitoria break Amber's level cap for her?!" The orange-haired Filolial yelled up toward the ceiling.

After a short pause, Amber began to pout even more heavily as she crossed her arms and turned away from everyone else. "What do you mean you don't know how to?! You're supposed to be the Queen of Filolials!"

…

"Me being a tamed monster isn't a good excuse!" Amber yelled again after another short pause.

Weird. Naofumi couldn't remember her older sister talking to herself that much before.

…

Well, anyway, it was the day after the Heroes had come back from Cal Mira and spent the day at the village. All the Heroes were now gathered at the Dragon Hourglass in the Church of the Four Heroes. With them were their friends and family as well.

Motoyasu didn't have anyone who needed to break their level 100 cap yet, so he was only attending for the sake of the social interaction that it provided.

Itsuki, however, was there to watch Rishia and Granny go through their level cap-breaking rituals. His other friends, Aksel, Maya, Rachel, and Crystal stood to the side observing as well.

Ren had watched Wyndia, Bakta, Welt, Tersia, and Farrie go through the level cap ritual with a proud smile on his face.

And Naofumi had gleefully watched Raphtalia, Shadow, Melty, Amber, and Uncle Bald Guy undergo it as well.

"Whoa… I wish we had this kind of knowledge in our world." L'Arc said in awe.

"It would be highly beneficial for us as well, yes." Glass agreed. "But at least we now know that such a thing is possible. That should give us something else to research with Ethnobalt when we return home."

"Oh, this makes me so happy!" Therese said excitedly.

Yep, the Otherworlders were there too. They were standing alongside Dadcray and Momellia, who'd been there to observe as well.

Their talks yesterday must have gone well. Naofumi's new Big Bro looked a bit more at ease compared to before. And while an aura of sadness still hung around Glass's form, her eyes were sparkling with hope again.

It looked good on the pretty spirit woman…

"Raphtalia, why are you pouting at me again?" Naofumi asked his best friend curiously.

"Just start rubbing my tail already while no one is paying attention to us," Raphtalia ordered him.

"Eh-" Naofumi didn't have much time to be confused, as Raphtalia's tail hit against his hand, and his eyes glazed over once more as he began to instinctively stroke it.

Flooooooooooooof.

…

Raphtalia really knew how to brainwash her best friend whenever he started paying more attention to other pretty girls that weren't her. It was no wonder Naofumi simped for his best friend so much. He could spend hours upon hours floofing the smol girl's tail.

If only it didn't make her feel so embarrassed…

"Now. Is there anything else required of me, or are we done here?" Gaelion shifted his large head in the King and Queen's direction.

"That will be all for now, Master Gaelion, thank you," Mirellia said, holding a fan at her side. She was smiling softly up at the dragon emperor while idly rubbing her stomach with her other hand. "Will it be alright to contact you again, once we have more individuals ready to break their level 100 cap?"

Which, if what Shadow told her yesterday was correct, would be quite soon if the Heroes kept on utilizing the deep sea for exp.

A deep rumbling chuckle came out of the dragon's throat. "I won't mind coming here again as long as the Shield Hero is here to greet me."

"Yay! I can totally do that!" Naofumi shouted excitedly from behind one of Gaelion's wings.

Raphtalia blinked in surprise, realizing that her best friend was no longer standing beside her. She sighed as she watched Naofumi, who was now busy petting the dragon emperor instead of her tail.

"BOO! You better wash your hands before you come near me again Naofumi!" Amber yelled while taking several steps back.

"Eh?" Naofumi tilted his head confusedly while proceeding to hug Gaelion's leg with his smol body.

…

Had Amber said hands?

She meant his entire body.

"Why is Amber glaring at me so harshly? Did I do something wrong?" He looked in Raphtalia's direction.

The girl shrugged. Maybe Amber didn't like dragons or something? They hadn't really asked her about it before as far as she could recall.

Gaelion chortled again, though this time in victory. He playfully rubbed his snout against Naofumi's head, causing Amber to further screech in indignation.

The dragon then moved his large head to the other side so his pregnant daughter could hug his snout. "My congratulations again, Wyndia. I am going to look forward to the future with great happiness for you and your mate."

"Thanks, Papa! We can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl!" Wyndia said happily.

Ren stood with a dreamy look in his eyes next to her.

Happy Ren Noises!

Yep, he was as pure and wholesome as ever. It was truly an amazing sight to behold. The Sword Hero couldn't wait to watch their future kids play with their dragon grandfather.

"I can't wait to meet their future kid either!" Naofumi was shaking with excitement. Ren was already the coolest guy in the world, and his mate had also become pretty cool as of late thanks to Ren's influence! So the kids they would have were bound to be even cooler thanks to that!

It was going to be the best thing ever, I say!

"See you later Gaelion!" Naofumi and Raphtalia called after him happily.

The Dragon Emperor gave his best attempt at a smile to the young kids, and then with a massive beat of his wings, he flew up out of the large hole in the roof that'd been made for him and then flew off towards the mountains near Lurolona.

In only a few seconds, he was gone.

…

"... heh, never thought I'd see the Heroes become so familiar with a dragon emperor. Right, Itsuki?" Aksel, one of Itsuki's friends who'd joined his party after Mald's heart attack, chuckled nervously beside the Bow Hero.

"Yeah…" Itsuki let out a breathy sigh while smiling like a doofus.

"Ehehehe…" Rishia giggled next to him while also smiling like a doofus.

"... eh?" The knight tank of Itsuki's party tilted his head confusedly at their behavior.

Had Granny's training finally broken them or something? He'd noticed them being a lot closer yesterday than before their trip to Cal Mira, but he thought that it'd been a trick of the eyes or something.

There was no way stubborn Itsuki could have caved and given in to love that easily and-

"Ehehehe." He then heard a very familiar giggle, and Aksel nearly froze up in terror before his instincts took over and he jumped to the side.

A loud oof sounded behind him as someone fell to the ground where he'd been standing. "Awww, no fair, Axie-Poo!" Maya, an adult black-haired Raccoon girl, reappeared from her illusion, pouting up at him.

She'd joined shortly after Aksel. She was an older former slave that they rescued in some town. Aksel couldn't be bothered to remember the details other than that she'd latched onto him soon after joining Itsuki's party for some reason.

"What is it with you and trying to pounce on me lately!?" The knight yelled at the dark-haired raccoon girl.

Maya smirked. "I just want a piece of the same happiness everyone else is getting."

"I don't know what you're talking about! Do you know what she's talking about Bakta?!" Itsuki's party tank turned towards Ren's party tank.

…

"Bakta?" Aksel asked again.

It was as if the man wasn't even there. His eyes were blank, though his body continued to tremble.

"Ehehehe…" Farrie hung off his arm happily, giggling like an idiot.

"Bakta, are you ok man?" Welt asked nervously.

"I'm not sure that he is," Tersia said next to him worriedly.

While Welt and Tersia seemed content, it appeared that the experience they shared on Cal Mira resulted in nothing more than a one-night stand. Welt, at the very least, seemed more at ease around the former nun compared to before. And even though they hadn't coupled up, they were likely going to be great friends for years to come! And maybe that could result in them coupling up later on!

It didn't look like the same could be said for Ren's party tank though.

"I can't wait to find out if we're having a boy or a girl!" Farrie said excitedly.

"... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…" A tiny, quiet cry for help escaped from Bakta's lips. But it didn't appear that anyone else had noticed.

At least, no one except the tank of Itsuki's party.

…

Aksel suddenly felt it'd be better to withdraw from the situation entirely before he had to deal with the same mess Bakta was dealing with.

"I'll make you mine yet, Axie-Poo!"

Yep, definitely for the best. Not even Bakta's quiet plea for help was enough to arouse him to action.

"You thinking something there Aksel?" Rachel, Itsuki's purple-haired mage, asked curiously.

"N-Nothing! Let's head back to the village!" The knight recommended.

"Ohohoho. Interested in my training too, are we?" Granny chortled while popping her hands.

"Yes! Absolutely!" Aksel cried out in terror.

Why was he doing this to himself?! Was Granny's hellish training really worth this!?

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

While Itsuki's party was leaving the room, Ren had already said his goodbyes to Naofumi and Moto before portaling back to the village with his mate and friends. It appeared he'd finally come out of whatever happy high he'd been stuck in for several minutes to speak intelligently again to others before his departure.

Cool Bro Ren. What a legend.

"So, um, how much longer are you guys planning on staying?" Moto asked L'Arc and the other Otherworlders while everyone else was leaving.

"Not for too long," L'Arc admitted. "Now that we've talked with Her Majesty and the Staff Hero here, we're going to have to go back and inform some important people back home about our new plans going forward."

"It is fine for you to call me Mirellia, you know." The Queen said with a smile. "There is no need for formalities when we're by ourselves."

"Uh… heheheh…" L'Arc chuckled nervously.

Why couldn't his world have a person like her heading one of the other countries?! Their friend Corrin tried, but he really had his hands full managing the Lazuli empire! It'd make politics so much easier to deal with if Mirellia was there to help!

Especially since her Majesty was so freaking hot and-

Slap! "Ow! What the heck Therese!" L'Arc pouted at his girlfriend.

His pout quickly dropped, however, seeing the glare that his fiancee was giving him. "Don't think I couldn't tell what you were thinking there."

"Uh… heheheh…" L'Arc chuckled nervously again.

Right, now that they were engaged, he wasn't going to be able to flirt around and have fun like before. Oh well, at least Therese was still, by far, the hottest most fiery girl he'd ever met.

"You're right about that," Therese smirked before smiling and pecking L'Arc on the cheek.

L'Arc looked like he'd died and gone to heaven right then and there.

"Blech." Only to come crashing back down to hell as Naofumi gave his older Bro a look of disgust. Come on, she'd been the one to kiss him on the cheek there! Why was his younger bro looking at him so judgmentally?!

"Seeing as Melromarc's next Wave is not for another week, we will be staying around for at least that long," Glass said, saving the redhead from further trouble.

"Yay! We get to play around with Auntie Glass for a little while longer then!" Naofumi cheered, completely ignoring L'Arc's existence once again.

The spirit woman smiled softly as the energetic Shield Hero and his best friend hugged her tightly around the waist. "Yes. We will have plenty more chances to play, I imagine."

…

L'Arc's smile had entirely disappeared once again.

Why couldn't the Shield Kiddo pay him any attention anymore?! It was like he was chopped liver all over again! But at least Therese made it fun and exciting!

This was just sad and depressing.

"I feel ya, bro." Motoyasu sighed next to him. "I really do."

At least L'Arc wasn't alone in his depression.

"I'm afraid playtime will have to wait," Mirellia said, shaking her head. "Now that we have nothing going on, it is time I resumed your studies in earnest."

"Wha-" Naofumi's mouth stopped and hung open.

"You've reached level 100. Not only that, you and the others will be able to further raise your levels using the deep oceans as a source of experience. With that problem resolved, it is about time you got back to learning how to become a proper prince and princess." Momellia told both him and Raphtalia.

Uncle Bald Guy began to chuckle behind the kid. "You forgot you were the Prince now, didn't you?"

"Yes, you and Princess Raphtalia will have to resume fulfilling your duties once again." Auntie Shadow said dryly beside him.

This also meant that she could finally take a break and do something else. Before she was inevitably brainwashed by Kidfumi's goodness and came to like the title of Auntie Shadow.

Which she still didn't like. FYI.

…

"Eh, fine. It'll be nice being around Dadcray and Momellia again, right Raphtalia?" The Shield Hero said with a shrug.

The adults there all narrowed their eyes.

Strange. With how much Naofumi hated learning, he usually wouldn't fold this easily. It normally required a lot of pouting, kicking, and screaming. At least some form of resistance from him.

Was the kid planning something? Even Dadcray was a little suspicious at this point.

"Sure. I honestly still feel tired out after everything we did over the last week and a half." The half-raccoon girl shrugged.

Naofumi yawned in agreement, and that was when they finally got it. And almost all the adults facepalmed simultaneously.

The brat was all tired out from all the chaos he'd caused! He was going to look at this as an opportunity to nap of all things!

"If you fall asleep during my lectures even once…" Mirellia spoke threateningly.

"Sure, sure, come on Raphtalia. Let's get ready for learning again." Naofumi said tiredly while waving his best friend over.

Raphtalia saddled up next to him, and the two kids quietly shuffled together towards the exit.

…

Mirellia sighed. "I'm going to have my hands full today, aren't I?"

"Now, now, honey. You might as well see what you can get through their heads before they pass out during my magic lesson." Aultcray said with a boisterous laugh. "I'll have to make sure that it's a bit more exciting than usual, to make them stir at least!"

Mirellia smiled. Rubbing her belly again as she did so.

Right. She could look at this as practice for when her next two kids were born and growing up.

"Just make sure you don't do something to magnetize everything in the area again. I'm still getting reports of people's metal objects flying around randomly from my knights." Mirellia scolded her husband playfully.

"Huh? How did he manage to do that?" Motoyasu asked, sounding interested.

"Would you like to find out? If I recall, Gaelion also took the time to give the rest of the Heroes dragon blessings so they could access Earth Vein magic. So I should be able to help you learn how to cast the same spell through that." Aultcray smiled at the Spear Hero.

"Um… heheheh." Motoyasu chuckled nervously, but right afterward he fell onto his hands and knees. "PLEASE DON'T TELL AMBER ABOUT THAT! SHE MIGHT NEVER FORGIVE ME IF SHE LEARNED I ACCEPTED GAELION'S BLESSING SO I COULD USE EARTH VEIN JUST LIKE REN!"

The two rulers sweatdropped. Thankfully, it appeared that Amber and Melty had already gone out with the Otherworld Heroes to help them find monsters they could absorb into their weapons to unlock new weapon forms. So Moto's wife didn't learn about the Spear Hero's… infidelity.

"Alright. I'll see how far you've advanced in that branch of magic first. And then afterward, I'll see about teaching you Liberation magic." Aultcray promised.

Motoyasu sighed in relief.

And just like that, the gathering in the dragon hourglass room ended. And the final occupants dispersed to go about their day.

---

"..."

"..."

Naofumi was sitting at a table, resting his cheek on his hand.

Strange. Momellia's mouth was moving, but he couldn't even register what she was saying right now.

Raphtalia looked to be in a similar boat next to him, for once. Her head had already fallen to the table, and drool was accumulating below her mouth.

Lucky. Naofumi wished he could pass out too. But Momellia definitely wouldn't like it if both her children passed out mid-lesson. So he was going to have to be the responsible one today…

A shocking thing to consider in all honesty.

Man, how had Raphtalia managed to do this on a daily basis? He was so bored that he wanted to fall asleep right then and there.

However, he had to learn what he could so he could become a better ruler. That way he could help Glass and the others to be happy and be able to help as many people to smile as possible, and…

…

Hmmm?

Mirellia was staring at the pair now and had put her hand to her head while she sighed. Naofumi came back into focus just in time for Momellia to start talking again.

"Naofumi, you can at least pretend that you're paying attention to me, can't you?"

"Pretend? What do you mean?" Naofumi asked confusedly. "I've been paying attention this whole time!"

"Were you? Then what have I been talking about for the last hour?" Mirellia asked.

…

Naofumi looked down at his Shield, but again, he did not get a response to his inquiry.

At least, not an immediate one.

After the first few words, I kind of trailed off myself.

Huh, it must have been some really boring info then. And Naofumi voiced it aloud.

"Yes… I have been going on and on about different legends and other 'useless' information for the past hour." Mirellia sighed in annoyance. "While I'd rather you learn these things for yourself, I can't deny that you and Raphtalia will have to deal with such scenarios in the future and will have to look like you're at least paying attention so as to not offend such people. Including me."

"... oh," Naofumi slowly nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any offense."

"None taken. But thank you for the apology. You really are becoming better mannered than when we started." Mirellia said, this time, a touch of a caring smile forming on her face.

Hopefully, he didn't become too well-mannered. He'd hate it if he and his best friend became exact copies of their older sister.

But then again, Momellia's smile was a bit sweeter and more loving compared to before. So while he wouldn't absorb everything, he'd at least become a better kid compared to before.

"Anyway, um, do you mean we should pretend to be paying attention like how Dadcray does whenever that one advisor guy of his shows up and starts talking his ears off?" Naofumi asked.

"Precisely." Momellia nodded in agreement. "While Marx is a good soul, he can be… talkative, at times. Almost too talkative."

"Hmmm, ok. How about this then?" Naofumi proceeded to give Mirellia a serious, stone-cold poker face that he'd seen Dadcray make around his advisors time and time again.

"... yes. Very good. Now try to hold that for as long as you can. And do try to absorb at least some of what I'm saying. You need to show the other person that you are paying at least a little bit of attention." Mirellia took a deep breath and then continued where she'd left off.

…

…

"..."

"..."

Yep, the same thing as before was happening again. Momellia's mouth was moving, but no words were coming out of it.

I can't tell what she's saying either. This is almost too weird. Have you really rubbed off on me that much!?

Heh, and she called him a brat.

If anyone here's a brat, it's definitely you!

Whatever Tsundere Shield.

Strange how this worked. Maybe Naofumi would be cut out for being a royal after all if all he needed to do was this. And once Raphtalia was back into the groove, she could absorb all this information for him while he pretended to pay attention.

Teamwork at its finest!

He wondered if he could incorporate this into Momellia's future lessons or not.

…

Probably not. She'd be able to identify it really easily and then he and Raphtalia would be in big trouble. Sigh, why did learning about how to be royals have to be so difficult?

Oh well, things could be a lot worse. At least Momellia was being lenient on him and Raphtalia today. Though it probably wouldn't be long before she threw them off the deep end again and made him hate learning and life in general again and…

And…

Strange, there was something weird that'd flown by outside the window.

Naofumi had almost nodded off again and lost his poker face, but while Mirellia was still speaking, he'd seen something fly by outside.

"Is something wrong?" Mirellia asked him curiously when his gaze fell off her.

Naofumi shook his head and focused on her again. "No, it's fine. Keep going, Mom."

The Queen frowned, but seeing the kid resume his look at her and even calling her mom made her feel very warm inside. So she continued talking about the glory of Filolials. One of her most impassioned subjects by far. It was one she could easily go on and on about for hours, days, even weeks.

It'd been slow-moving, but his lack of attention kept Naofumi from noticing whatever had flown by the window until it was too late. And after glancing towards the window again, he didn't see anything in particular.

…

Huh? Maybe he'd just been imagining things there.

Naofumi glanced back to Momellia, who was continuing to speak about the ancient legends surrounding the Filolial Queen Fitoria, when-.

Crash! "Air Strike Shield!"

Naofumi's skill appeared in front of the window just as something crashed through the glass. Catching his mom off guard and waking Raphtalia up from her nap. "Huh?! What?!" The half-raccoon girl looked around in surprise.

"Scree. Scree." A strange bat-type familiar struggled to get up behind the skill shield Naofumi had summoned. It had dull glowing red eyes as well as a tortoiseshell on its back. Even as it got onto its feet, it staggered around as if it wasn't used to standing up.

"Fast Icicle Prison!" Mirellia quickly reacted, and her ice spell surrounded the monster, freezing it in place.

"What is this thing? And how did it get past the castle's defenses?!" Mirellia yelled in shock.

The bat creature shook its head, hissed again, and then, to their collective surprise, a heat beam came from its head. It melted the ice around it and allowed it to leap towards Momellia with fangs bared as Naofumi's shield barrier disappeared.

"Huah!" However, before it could even get close, a colored streak ran past its vision, and then the entire creature fell to the ground, split in two down the middle.

Even its shell, made from some pretty hard materials, had been cleaved in two.

Raphtalia held her white blade in front of her, staring at it in awe. "Uncle Bald Guy really made an awesome sword this time around. I hardly felt any resistance cutting into that thing."

Mirellia and Naofumi both looked confusedly down at the monster. "What is it?" Naofumi asked.

"I… I have no idea." Mirellia muttered in worry.

Wait, even Momellia didn't know what it was?!

Naofumi looked down at his Shield and absorbed the monster into it. When it was done being absorbed into the shield's gemstone, he got a new notification.

Conditions Met!

- Familiar Shield (bat-type) Unlocked!

Yeah. I have no idea what the heck this thing is supposed to be either. Strange.

Naofumi was further confused. It was one thing for Momellia to not know, but his Shield too?!

He would have complained more about it, but when Mirellia looked out the window, her eyes widened even further. The two kids looked out with her and found out why.

Whatever that thing was would have to wait. There was an entire flock of them attacking the area around the castle right now!

"Your Majesty!" Two Shadows burst through the door of the room. "We heard a loud commotion. What's going-" One of them began to ask.

"Shadows, alert my husband and the Spear Hero! Our city is under attack!" Mirellia ordered the two shadowed figures that'd been standing guard in her room. One look at the broken window was all they needed.

"Yez!" "Of course, your grace!" The male and female figures saluted, before melting into the shadows to find the two Heroes.

Crash!

A loud crash sounded up above, and the room's occupants looked up to see Auntie Shadow reappear, stabbing her daggers through the chest of another bat-like creature that'd broken in up above.

"I daresay, shall I alert Melty and the Otherworld Heroes of our plight?" Auntie Shadow asked calmly.

"Yes, quickly!" Mirellia ordered.

Auntie Shadow bowed her head and then vanished in the blink of an eye.

"Today's lessons are canceled, children." Mirellia looked down at the kids. "Right now, let's go out and deal with the monster threat!"

Raphtalia and Naofumi perked up.

Yay! They wouldn't have to spend any more time learning anything else today after all!

It was time to dive into the excitement and adrenaline rush once again!

---

The kid's excitement dimmed down by the time they ran outside and realized just how severe the situation was.

"Ahhhhhh!" A civilian screamed in terror as he hid under his cart. A swarm of bat monsters surrounded it, firing heat beams from their eyes while divebombing against the wood in an attempt to get at him.

"Please! Let me in!" Another man was beating on the door of a shop, trying to get away from the horde surrounding him outside.

"Hurgh! There's too many!" A knight armed with a bow yelled as he released an arrow into the horde.

"Keep fighting! We must protect everyone!" A second knight yelled while slashing his sword around.

Strange, he kind of looked like the guy he and Raphtalia had dropped dragon poop onto once before.

Though with all the fighting going on, a strange thing definitely stood out.

"My, my cabbages!" Another man, who despite his similar pleas, looked very different from the Cabbage merchant that they'd bullied time and time again before; was on his knees gripping his head as the monsters tore into his cabbage stand. A few monsters were also targeting other vegetable-related carts and stands.

Weird. They must have hated their veggies even more than Naofumi.

Though now probably wasn't the time for such thoughts, as the two kids rushed right into the thick of it.

"Drifa Light!" Raphtalia's spell instantly conjured a miniature sun, blinding and even partially burning the creatures that were flying next to it.

"Shield Prison!" Naofumi's skill ball surrounded the civilian and his cart.

"All Drifa Ice Spikes!" The temperature noticeably dipped as large shards of ice appeared around Mirellia. Impaling the remaining bats flying around in the air beside the cabbage merchant and the man beating on the door repeatedly before dropping them to the ground.

The ice spell also helped clear the majority of monsters in the area, freeing the knights from their forced melee confrontation.

The first knight lowered his bow in amazement. "A… Amazing. There were so many!"

"That's why she's the Queen, you dolt." The dragon poop knight captain rolled his eyes. "Orders, your Majesty!"

"Begin evacuating civilians to the castle. Get them away from the fighting. We'll handle the other monsters while you're at it!" Mirellia commanded.

"As you wish!" As the ball of chains disappeared, the man crawled out from under his cart. The first knight went and helped him up. Besides a severe burn on his leg, the man appeared to be fine.

"Aw, thank goodness." The Cabbage Merchant hugged a few of his cabbages that'd survived the monsters to himself with a happy look on his face, which almost immediately disappeared as another knight grabbed him by the collar and began evacuating him and the others towards the castle. "Wait, but my cabbages!"

"Screw your cabbages! Get inside so these monsters won't hurt you!" The knight commanded.

Naofumi and Raphtalia proceeded to systematically move down the street, saving the lives of others while Mirellia used a wide variety of area-of-effect spells to thin out the monster hordes. As they did this, others appeared from their homes as well. Either being guided by other knights that were rushing out of the castle or joining the fight with the weapons they had on hand.

Despite how strong they all were at that point, Naofumi found himself racing to save somebody who was being swarmed by bat-type familiars. Mirellia was drinking Magic Healing Water while Raphtalia was busy saving a family from other monsters. But the kid Hero was so far away, and he wasn't close enough yet to use his shield skills to protect the man, and-

A bright flash of light appeared in front of him. And S'yne appeared, holding a large pair of scissors in her hand.

"Scissor Blaze!" As she yelled, her scissors split in two. And then, with the twin blades, she danced forward in a blaze of speed, cutting through every single monster in her way.

The man who the beasts had swarmed was bleeding from several different wounds afterward. But the otherworld Hero's timely arrival had saved his life.

"WHOA! SO COOL! HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO QUICKLY!?" Naofumi asked excitedly.

"- your -" S'yne's voice came out briefly before getting interrupted by static.

"I'm able to portal wherever I set one of my special Jumping Needles! One of them is currently in your shoulder armor right now, so I can teleport to you at any time!" The Naofumi doll on her waist yelled excitedly.

"Whoa!" Naofumi looked down at his shoulder. As that happened, S'yne switched weapon forms to a ball of yarn.

…

No, really. It was a big ball of red yarn with a gemstone in the center of it. Her weapon considered balls of yarn to be a viable weapon form, apparently.

"- Net!" "Spider Net!" Thread rapidly moved out from it up above, forming a large net that encased a large part of the horde.

"Into -" "Into Fire Paralysis Wire!" The threads of yarn then all caught on fire, burning away the entrapped screeching familiars.

"Hahahaha! Yeah!" Now Momellia wouldn't be the only one having to dish out ranged attacks any longer! S'yne picked the wounded man from earlier up, handing him over to a nearby knight before turning back to Naofumi.

"Let's go, Big Sis S'yne! The people need us!" The boy shouted.

S'yne nodded and happily followed behind the kid Shield Hero.

The intense fighting continued for several minutes. But with the Otherworld Hero's arrival, the streets in front of the castle were finally beginning to clear.

During that time, Mirellia had done nothing but fight, only taking short breaks to drink more Magic Healing Water before calling out additional orders to her soldiers. Even with how quickly they'd moved, there were more than a few people that'd sustained injuries.

"Knights, begin working your way out from the castle walls! Phalanx formation! As for the rest of you adventurers, stay around the castle and make sure the way is clear for other civilians to evacuate to safely! You will be rewarded for your efforts if you do so!"

"Yes, Your Majesty!" The adventurers and high-level civilians who'd volunteered themselves saluted and immediately began rushing back to the castle walls to prepare better defenses along the fortifications while the knights took up formations around the entrances, working outwards against the thinning monster hordes.

Kidfumi and Kidtalia stared up at their mom with shining eyes. After all the hours they'd spent under their tutelage, seeing this side of her was honestly pretty cool. She was radiating not just power but authority! The people could barely scramble around fast enough to fulfill her commands!

"Shadows." Mirellia turned her head again. "How did this many monsters get here so quickly without warning?"

Two shadows appeared behind her simultaneously. Neither of them was Auntie Shadow though. She was likely staying with Melty and the others. Still, the fact that Mirellia had been aware of the two's approach made her even cooler since Naofumi, Raphtalia, and S'yne had seen either of them coming!

"The bat monsters appeared from the clouds above, your grace. We're still trying to determine the exact direction they came from." The first one said.

"How is that possible?" Mirellia frowned.

"We're unsure. However, they're not the only monsters. The Spear Hero is currently busy holding off a different group at the city's southern gate." The Second Shadow said. "And his Majesty is heading towards the northern gate to deal with the monsters there as we speak."

"Should we go and assist them?" Raphtalia asked unsurely.

"The Wise King will be just fine. And the Spear Hero is doing surprisingly well by himself." The first shadow said again. "He is singlehandedly dealing with all the monsters there while our knights work on evacuating the people."

"Then we'll leave those sections of the city to them!" Mirellia agreed.

She was still frowning though, looking deep in thought, but S'yne approached at that moment. Having taken a moment to clean the monster's blood from the giant pair of scissors she'd equipped sometime during the fighting again before coming up to speak. "These - Sword and Bow - as well."

"These monsters aren't just attacking here! The Sword and Bow Heroes are currently busy holding them off at Lurolona as well!" The Raphtalia doll on her belt yelled for S'yne.

Mirellia's eyes slightly widened in surprise. "So it isn't just my city being attacked?!"

S'yne shrugged. "- help out - their friends -"

"Not sure really! I just left to help out here since the village is small enough for those two and their friends to keep all the monsters at bay!" The Naofumi doll yelled.

"One Thousand Swords!" On one end of Lurolona village, in the midst of individuals like Sadeena and Keel fighting alongside a strawberry blonde swordswoman to protect everyone hiding inside of their homes, the Sword Hero's skill could be seen, decimating the land and the monsters in front and around him in a melee of blades so thick you could barely see him through the swarm he'd summoned to defend his side of the village.

"Rowrrrrrrr!" Elsewhere on another side of the village, with his daughter on her back assisting with Earth Vein magic, Gaelion let loose a breath of flame so powerful that the monsters he was facing were incinerated from the heat. Nothing was getting past him, or Wyndia who had the additional assistance of others from the village and Ren and Itsuki's party assisting their flanks.

"God Blow!" KABOOM!

And of course, where they stood in front of the village like two pillars of awesomeness, the combo skill Itsuki and Rishia had learned from Granny was as effective as ever. Nuking the yetis on the ground and the bat monsters in the sky and to the sides as effortlessly as an actual nuke. A large parasite-like familiar also tried to flee, only to be completely incinerated as it tried to escape the blast zone.

No one was there to assist the two Hengen Musou lovers, because no one wanted to be caught in the midst of such an attack.

"ORA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" No one except the crazy Jojo Granny wielding a hoe before them, that is. "KEEP IT UP! MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'LL ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO SCRATCH ME WITH YOUR COMBINED ATTACK! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Itsuki and Rishia both sweatdropped. Why did their mentor have to be so insane?

Going back to the Capital, stars appeared in Naofumi's eyes as he imagined all these scenarios as if they were real. Ren and Itsuki were truly the coolest, I say!

He almost wished he could be there to see all the various kinds of attacks they were unleashing right now!

By that point, the knights had finished evacuating the civilians in the area and besides a few random bat monsters, nothing else had tried to attack them.

The Queen decided to press for more info on what S'yne had brought up later. If Mirellia recalled correctly, Melty and the others exited the city through the west gate. So if they came back through there…

"Knights, march towards our eastern gate!" Mirellia ordered.

"Yahhhhhhh!" The knights roared passionately as they followed their Queen to battle.

Naofumi and Raphtalia smiled as they followed behind the Queen toward the city's eastern section. Off towards more excitement and adventure!

---

You know, while the appearance of all these monsters could have been described as terrifying, Naofumi found that they were… surprisingly weak.

Don't get him wrong! If left unchecked, it meant bad things for the people around them!

But like, he didn't know if he and Raphtalia had become too stronk by now or something. Or if it was thanks to having Momellia and Big Sis S'yne backing them up, but the monsters were just… incredibly boring, to say the least.

The bats' movement in the air was, at times, erratic. But it was nothing his best friend and family's blades/light magic/ice magic couldn't handle. Especially after they and everyone else around Naofumi were buffed by the effects of Drifa Aura X.

"WHOAAAAAA!" "YEAHHHHHHHH!" The knights themselves had similar reactions to Uncle Bald Guy having the spell cast on them. Each one suddenly became a killing machine.

The bat monsters just couldn't pose any sort of threat to them after that, appearing almost as if to laze about in the air instead of trying to target them or anything.

There were the odd times when they had to rush to save a person or two though. Which helped to keep them focused on the task at hand. Still, it was strange for Naofumi to see such strange behavior from the monsters.

Maybe he wasn't seeing things and they really were just lazing around? The knights definitely seemed confused at times as well.

Those bats' heat beams were capable of hurting civilians and even the knights despite their increased stats, as Naofumi quickly found out. So he definitely had to do his job as Hero protecting everyone here.

But as they neared the city's eastern gate, he came across a sight that actually did make him pause!

Up till that point, they'd only been fighting off bat-type familiars. But then, they came across a larger ground variant called - Familiar (yeti-type).

Again, why do I not know what these things are?!

Like, they actually looked large and intimidating… except their eyes held the same dull and tired look as the bats!

And the one Naofumi spotted first let out something akin to a yawn while it sipped from what appeared to be a tall plastic cup with a crude mermaid drawing on it. Its other hand scratched at its beer belly before going up to pick some wax out of its ear.

It was so surprising actually that even Mirellia and her knights paused to stare at it. "Did that thing… bring a cup of coffee with it to battle?" A knight asked loudly.

"Since when do monsters drink coffee you dingus!" Another knight yelled.

"Then what the heck are we seeing in front of us?!" A third knight yelled.

"Maybe it's not coffee but an energy drink?" A fourth knight offered.

"What the heck are energy drinks!?" The first knight yelled.

"That." The fourth knight pointed to the side where another yeti stood. This one had a large bald spot in the middle of its head, as well as a short stubble of hair covering its chin. It also wore sunglasses and held some sort of white metallic can in its grasp that had a claw mark on it that eerily resembled the letter 'M'.

- Familiar (boomer-yeti-type)

...

You know what, I'm just going to pretend like I didn't see that.

Naofumi couldn't have agreed with Shield-Chan more than he did at that moment.

It was definitely confusing, but then, with a tired shrug, the first yeti downed the rest of its dark mystery beverage before throwing the empty cup behind it. It then proceeded to charge forward into battle against everyone alongside its compatriots, except for the sunglasses-wearing one who just scratched its bare butt and took another sip

Clang!

But Naofumi didn't even budge when the first yeti's fist collided with his face.

Before the monster could even register that a little kid had just tanked its fist without batting an eye, Raphtalia and S'yne beheaded and dissected the creature simultaneously.

Nobody was allowed to touch Raphtalia's best friend except her!

And anyone else he permitted. Which hopefully wouldn't be too many people. She grinned up at S'yne, who grinned back down at her.

"Race you to see who takes down more of these monsters!" Raphtalia said excitedly.

"- on!"

"You're on!" The Raphtalia doll yelled back in challenge.

The two girls proceeded to singlehandedly destroy almost all of the yeti-type familiars after that incident. Naofumi saw other cases here and there of monsters who weren't fighting people due to them either drinking something in an attempt to stay awake or because they were trying to smash a random cabbage stand instead, of all things.

And those boomer-type yetis weren't even fighting at all. They were either standing around or drinking from strange cans held in their hands.

One was even found sitting in a lawn chair, tanning in the light of the sun in only a speedo while snoring in its sleep!

No one wanted to even get close to it to kill it, so they just moved on and left it be.

"Stop targeting my cabbages!" And the only other thing of note that happened was another cabbage merchant, armed with a pitchfork, fighting off the monsters trying to get at his merchandise.

Raphtalia and S'yne easily beheaded those creatures before continuing on. But not before all the man's cabbages had been destroyed.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Naofumi and the others then ran past as the poor merchant grieved next to his destroyed cabbage stand.

Thus they continued on from there all the way to the East gate.

In mere minutes, they'd wiped out all the monsters in the vicinity. And they'd even linked up with the knights who'd managed to hold out in the watchtowers by the gate.

"Do you have any injuries?" Mirellia asked.

"Not really, your Grace." The captain in charge there bowed his head. "My men were well protected by our fortifications. And the monsters seemed more intent on targeting the civilians or vegetable stands than us anyways."

Mirellia frowned at the strange news, as she'd noticed this happening more than a few times herself. Still, she congratulated the knight for fulfilling his duty in defending their people. She then gathered everyone again and moved to another portion of the city where the monsters could be seen gathering again in the sky.

And this happened over and over again over the next thirty minutes.

Naofumi and Raphtalia kept on rushing around with her. Eventually being joined by Amber and Melty, as well as Uncle Bald Guy and Auntie Shadow. All of whom had been out in the streets fighting any monster they could find.

"Yeahhhhhhhh! Hit me with that Aura spell of yours brat so I can really show these monsters the true might of Uncle Bald Guy!" Elhart cheered after being reunited with the kid.

"Boo! And make things even more boring than they already are?!" Naofumi complained.

"Better boring than bad," Melty said under her breath.

"Wasn't Auntie Glass supposed to be with you guys anyway?" Naofumi pouted at his older sister.

"They rushed away to deal with a particularly large monster! And I wasn't about to leave Amber without any protection!" Melty yelled at him.

"Fiery Spiral Kick!"

Boom!

A whole street full of monsters turned into ashes from the force of Amber's attack.

…

Naofumi and Raphtalia gave their older sister blank stares.

"F-Fine! I wanted to stay around Amber instead of our Otherworld friends! Is that really a crime?!" Melty shrieked indignantly.

I'm starting to see why that tiger girl called her hot and cold.

Naofumi found himself agreeing with Shield-Chan once again.

Either way, after the reunion, the rest of the monsters in the city were truly screwed. Uncle Bald Guy, thanks to his level cap being broken, was even more of a beast than ever before under Drifa Aura X!

It also helped that the knights and the civilians had caught on to the monster's strange behavior at this point. The number of people they were having to save drastically decreased as cabbages were used to distract the monsters with a different target. Allowing other adventurers caught in the melee to participate!

Though this led to more incidents of cabbage merchants grieving next to their emptied stands.

…

Seriously, Naofumi never knew that so many Cabbage Merchants could be gathered in one city. It almost made him wonder how he and Raphtalia had successfully managed to bully just the one merchant over and over again.

It wasn't long after that thought that the only monsters left besides the boomer-yeti types, which weren't doing much of anything bad, to be honest, were the monsters outside the city walls.

And by the time they reached the walls again to end the monster threat for good… Dadcray had already arrived on the scene. As well as Big Bros L'Arc and Moto, Auntie Therese, and Auntie Glass.

"Chaos Thrust!"

"Shooting Star Slash!"

"Bejeweled Blizzard!"

"Zero Stance Rondo: Reverse Four Seasons!"

The other Heroes' attacks slammed into the many different monsters repeatedly. Killing many and leaving only a group in the center of the mass left to be dealt with. While up to this point, the monsters hadn't been shown running in the face of danger… it appeared this final group was smarter than the rest, as they were fleeing from Aultcray's charging up skill towards the forest.

Not that it did them much good as, seconds later, Aultcray held his fully charged-up staff in front of him.

"Fenrir Force!"

A beam of magical energy burst out from it, heading into the center of the mass of monsters.

KABOOM!

Kchchchchch!

A massive explosion engulfed them and the surrounding woods.

All the Knights on the wall gripped tightly to the fortifications as the earth shook from the power behind the attack. All the Heroes and higher-leveled individuals, however, barely felt the tremors and stayed upright.

Moments later when the smoke of the attack cleared, a new deep crater could be seen in the ground. All the nearby trees were completely gone. And the remnants of a small miniature mushroom cloud were still visible in the sky up above.

SO COOL! THAT WAS THE COOLEST ATTACK NAOFUMI HAD SEEN FROM HIS DAD YET! DADCRAY WAS SO MUCH COOLER THAN HIS PARENTS FROM BACK HOME! HE WAS EASILY A HUNDRED- NO, A THOUSAND TIMES COOLER!

SIMPLY AMAZING, I SAY!

"Is that all of them?" Aultcray asked a nearby Shadow.

"I zertainly hope zo." She said.

The tip of Motoyasu's Spear rested against the ground. L'Arc's scythe was also resting against the ground. The pair's eyes were still boggling in their sockets from the full might of Aultcray's latest attack.

"Just… what?!" Both of them yelled simultaneously.

"Hmmm, I wonder how much more powerful it would have been if I'd used Skill Prism there." Aultcray thought to himself while stroking his trimmed beard. "Though, if the base form was already capable of doing this much damage without me buffing myself, then it might have caused more collateral damage than its worth."

...

Motoyasu and L'Arc's heads both fell back as part of their souls escaped through their mouths.

They knew they were dealing with a whole new level of power tiering when someone had to speak so openly about toning things down to keep from inadvertently destroying portions of entire cities with one attack.

"I'm still wondering how zo many appeared all at once." The Shadow at Aultcray's side spoke again.

"Indeed, as am I." Aultcray frowned, his hand dropping from his chin. "Do you Otherworlders have any idea what's going on?"

"I… I might be able to answer that." Therese raised her hand hesitantly.

"Speak then," Mirellia commanded.

The bluette gulped. "Well… er, actually, I'm not sure. Isn't it too early for it to be happening in their world?" She asked Glass.

Glass was frowning as well. "Yes. The Waves haven't been happening in this world for very long. So this is definitely unusual."

"So you do have an idea about what's going on then," Mirellia said.

The two girls exchanged looks with one another and then focused on the Queen and the others again. "Hmmm… well, you see…"

They proceeded to explain how what they'd faced was likely the minions of one of the guardian beasts in this world. And after Motoyasu and L'Arc had recovered from whatever mini-stroke they'd been having after witnessing Aultcray absolutely body the familiars alongside a large portion of the forest, the Spear Hero's eyes widened as he confirmed that they'd looked familiar to him.

"I didn't think we'd be facing them already though. Not without any of us going to the Spirit Tortoise's country to unseal the beast and…" Motoyasu trailed off.

"What is it, Spear Hero?" Mirellia asked.

"I, um, I'm going to grab Ren and Itsuki." He said. "Those familiars are going to be attacking more than one place."

"- Those two were - by the time -"

"There's no need! Those two were already nearly finished dealing with them by the time I left!" S'yne's doll proudly said for her!

"... I'm sorry, who are you again?" Motoyasu cocked his head in confusion.

"I don't recognize her either." L'Arc frowned.

"Ehehehe! Want to introduce yourself Big Sis S'yne?!" Naofumi asked as he and Raphtalia hugged the older girl around the waist at the same time.

"URK!" Motoyasu and L'Arc paled simultaneously.

"Yeah, she's the best!" Raphtalia agreed happily.

"Hey, the gemstone of my shield is glowing." Naofumi suddenly noticed. "Does that mean I can gain a new weapon form by absorbing one of the dolls on your belt?"

"Sure -"

"Sure, try using this one!" S'yne took an old doll of herself off of her belt and handed it to Naofumi, who absorbed it into his Shield's gemstone.

Conditions Met!

Fluff Plush Shield Unlocked!

"Whoaaaa!" Naofumi switched to the new weapon form, which was basically a Shield with a plush doll attachment. The doll didn't look like S'yne though. Rather, it had green hair and a green outfit on it. It also had a pair of rosy cheeks.

For those in the know, it was a representation of Shield-Chan. It'd be a while though before Naofumi learned that for himself."So cool! Thanks, S'yne! You really are the best older sibling ever!"

S'yne smiled her most wholesome smile ever! This was truly the best, I say!

…

Just seconds later, Moto and L'Arc were huddled on the ground together. The tips of their souls hanging to their mouths by the tiniest of threads.

"He already got another older sibling to replace us," Moto said in a pathetic voice.

"That's it. I'm done with living." L'Arc said in the same tone as Motoyasu.

"Goodbye cruel world." They both said simultaneously.

"Um, boys, is now really the time for this?" Therese asked worriedly.

"Ughhhhh…" The two continued groaning in agony as death slowly came for them.

Most everyone there sweatdropped. Besides the two brats, who were playing with their lookalike dolls of themselves on S'yne's belt. The girl seemed all for it too!

"Anyway." Glass coughed into her hand. She had to hold back giggles of her own as this just reminded her wayyyyy too much about what Kizuna would do in this kind of scenario. "I'm afraid there's more than just the familiars to worry about now."

"What do you mean?" Aultcray asked with narrowed eyes.

Glass's face turned serious. "In our world, the Black Tortoise released its minions on the world before it woke up. If the same thing is happening here already, then that means your Guardian Beast is on the verge of waking up as well."

"Should that happen, and we are not there to stop it, then many will die."

…

…

"WHAT?!"

---

"Hmmm…"

"What is it, Naofumi?" Raphtalia asked curiously.

The two of them were inside a wagon being pulled by Amber toward the direction of some giant monster called the Spirit Tortoise.

Naofumi didn't know much about it. Auntie Glass and the other adults hadn't spent much time discussing it, outside of the fact that if it was like their world's Guardian Beast, then it was big, and it'd be a very bad thing if it woke up. Right as she'd been explaining that though, Cool Bros Ren and Itsuki arrived at the Capital with a very angry dragon and a whole group of friends ready to slaughter some innocent(?) monsters!

Unfortunately, by the time they'd arrived, all the innocent(?) monsters nearby, with the exception of the boomer-yeti-types, had already been killed. So their awesome entrance ended up getting wasted.

Then again, it made things easier when Amber made a call (somehow) and a giant birb showed up. Like, she had to have been at least three hundred feet tall! She was huge!

Before that though, Ren and Itsuki described the monsters they'd faced back at the village as being really lethargic. There hadn't been many people injured thanks to that. And those who had been hurt were already being treated for their injuries.

It'd also helped that, again, for some reason, they'd been targeting the three cabbage stands in town instead of the civilian populace.

Weird.

Anyway, since his Shield didn't like him summarizing time skips very much, Naofumi would put a pin in it by saying that it'd been a couple of hours since that conversation which he'd mostly forgotten by now. And the sun was high up in the afternoon sky.

Big Bro Moto and L'Arc were currently in a wagon to Naofumi's right with Auntie Glass and Therese while Cool Bro Itsuki and his friends were riding in a wagon to Naofumi's left. Momellia, Dadcray, Mel, Big Sis S'yne, Auntie Shadow, and Uncle Bald Guy were in the wagon with him and Raphtalia. Their wagon was being pulled by Amber. The two other wagons were being pulled by different Filolials.

As for Ren, he and his mate were riding on Gaelion's back high up in the air while his friends rode a breed of rider dragon Gaelion had sired around the wagons, keeping pace with Fitoria's Filolials.

They were very close to where the Spirit Tortoise was supposed to be now. Thanks to the help of that giant birb creature teleporting all of their group over a massive distance to a spot that was as close to it as she could get.

It'd certainly caused the bird queen a massive headache having to teleport the members of her flock alongside a dragon to the closest location she had to the Spirit Tortoise as possible. But when Glass had stressed the severity of the situation to everyone while Amber was standing around, the World Guardian knew she had to act in the world's best interest. Which was getting the Heroes to the Guardian Beast as fast as possible.

She hadn't stuck around to help herself. But with how many overpowered individuals there were there, she probably wasn't needed.

But anyway, it looked like Raphtalia wanted to talk to him right now. So Naofumi hoped that was everything important he'd needed to remember for some strange and obscure reason (it was almost like people were reading his thoughts or something).

"You tend to get stuck in your thoughts a lot, don't you?" Raphtalia asked her best friend dryly.

People like his best friend, most likely.

"Like that doesn't ever happen to you either." Naofumi pouted in response.

"Yeah, but not for as long as you," Raphtalia said with a teasing smile.

…

The two kids remained quiet for a time. Looking around, the adults really looked serious. Some of them were even talking in hushed tones to one another.

It looked like Momellia was going over with Dadcray what she could remember from legends about the monster they were about to face. Uncle Bald Guy was gripping his warhammer in his hands tightly. And if you were to peek out of the wagon you would be able to see that even Big Bros L'Arc and Moto looked strangely serious and tense on their spots in the driver's bench.

"Are we sure about its size though?" Dadcray asked his wife worriedly.

"I've been to the country before," Momellia answered. "If what they claimed to be the resting site of the Spirit Tortoise is correct, then it'd be the most gargantuan creature in the history of our world. Not to mention, the information Glass gave us would mean that sealing it or killing it would be a far more difficult task than we could ever imagine."

"Hmmm…" Dadcray put a hand to his chin while he got to thinking.

Naofumi felt very small at that moment. He couldn't help it as his hand sought out Raphtalia's and gripped it tightly.

"Is something wrong?" Raphtalia quickly asked her best friend.

"Sorry, I'm just… scared about what's up ahead," Naofumi said. "I haven't seen all the adults look this worried before."

Raphtalia took a moment to look over everyone there. Even S'yne was busy making a new doll. Judging by how her hands were shaking though as well as her very slow progress in making it, it was easy to tell that even she was worried.

"Yeah… I get what you mean." Raphtalia looked down at her hands. "I remember my parents looking just like this when the first Wave opened up over my village."

…

…

Naofumi looked stunned at his best friend's words. Raphtalia held one of her arms to herself while her other hand stayed gripping Naofumi's. "I remember being scared back then. And seeing the worry on their faces made me more scared about what was going on."

…

"..." Eventually, Raphtalia looked back up at Naofumi. She was giving him a sincere smile. "But, I promised that I wouldn't be scared again, as long as I'm standing at your side. So no matter how scary this new monster is, I'm going to help you beat it." She promised.

Naofumi looked at his best friend in awe. His smile reappeared on his face and he held his best friend's hand softly in his own. "Well, if you're not going to be afraid, I'm going to try and be brave too."

Raphtalia giggled, but there were some other giggles or chuckles from around the wagon. Looking up, the two kids found all the adults had just been listening in to their little moment.

"Don't mind stopping on our count." Uncle Bald Guy winked.

Naofumi pouted. "Weren't you just shaking in your seat, Uncle Bald Guy?!"

"Oi, I wasn't shaking! I was just trembling from anticipation! You know how much I love a good fight!" Uncle Bald Guy lied through his teeth.

"It's fine. Even I am willing to admit that I'm scared to be facing a monster like this." Dadcray said calmly to the older blacksmith. "But for the sake of my world and my family, I won't have any qualms fighting it head-on if I must."

"I daresay, I don't know how much use I'll have in this endeavor. But if there's something I can do, I will do it." Auntie Shadow agreed.

"Yeah." Melty nodded her head.

"Of course." S'yne managed to speak without any static interference.

The mood in the wagon gradually improved. And though both kids found themselves blushing for some strange weird reason, they already felt better seeing how the atmosphere in the wagon had already improved.

"I guess if worse does come to worst. My Shield's been investing everything it has in defense for a reason." Naofumi chuckled to his best friend, who giggled in response.

"Yeah, a monster would have to be really strong in order to be able to hurt you." Raphtalia agreed.

That was actually the main reason why they were able to come on this trip in the first place. They'd grown so strong while at Cal Mira and after their deep sea trip that, while Aultcray and Mirellia might have preferred to keep their kids out of harm's way like with Tact, they were able to see how they'd grown strong enough to stand by their sides. And with how powerful the Spirit Tortoise was potentially, they were going to need all the help that they could get.

It'd certainly motivate the other Heroes to fight harder for them too.

"Hmmm…" Naofumi looked down at his shield with curiosity.

Pulling up his weapon tree, the familiar shields he'd gotten earlier had finally been filled in with the name of the Guardian Beast they were going to face. But seeing that couldn't make him help but wonder. How come his Shield hadn't known what they were when the others had known?

Moto and Dadcray had admitted they'd gotten the right names for their weapon forms at least. And Cool Bros Itsuki and Ren had said as much too.

To be honest, I'm still not sure myself. Even though I have its name now, I can't remember anything about the Spirit Tortoise.

Was that so strange though?

Yes! I know my past wielders have fought against this monster countless times! Yet I can't recall any of those instances anymore!

In fact, all my knowledge of the Guardian Beasts themselves is missing from my memory!

Naofumi stared at his Shield in confusion. Did that mean this time was different from his weapon's past experiences?

Heck if I know! Though, with how strange you are, I wouldn't doubt that this might be vastly different from those previous times!

Naofumi felt very tempted to start pouting at Shield-Chan again.

"Is there something else wrong now?" Raphtalia asked him.

"Not really. Though, now that I'm thinking about it…" Naofumi thought over their battle with the familiars from earlier.

A lot of it had been boring, yes. But there'd been multiple reasons for that despite the lack of strength behind them.

And he was trying very hard to keep the boomer-yeti types especially out of his mind. That was just a whole other batch of strange that he wasn't ready to address quite yet.

"Did the monsters we fought seem… tired, to you?" Naofumi asked his best friend.

"Huh?" Raphtalia cocked her head.

"Sorry, but it's just something that's bothering me. The bat monster that crashed through the castle window looked especially tired." Naofumi said.

"Hmmmm, well, if Momellia was right about the Spirit Tortoise being at least two weeks away from Melromarc, then that'd mean they had to fly pretty far, right?" Raphtalia asked.

"Maybe. But then, why would it attack while it was tired?" Naofumi asked.

"... hmmm…" Raphtalia got to thinking herself, but she couldn't think of a reason at all.

Actually, you have a point brat.

Naofumi pouted at his Shield this time.

No, I'm actually serious. I was wondering what was weird with that whole mess. But yeah, you pretty much hit it on the head.

All those monsters you were facing kind of looked like they'd just woken up from a very long nap. And not in a good way either.

It would have been one thing if they were exhausted from all that travel, but I get the feeling that wasn't why they were so lethargic when facing us.

… ah, that was the word Naofumi had been looking for. Lethargic.

…

Huh, now that he thought about it, that reminded him of what he was like in the morning.

That is too true.

Boo! Stop insulting Naofumi Shield-Chan!

"Naofumi? You're getting lost in thought again." Raphtalia pushed his shoulder to get his attention. She was also pouting at him.

"Oops, sorry. Just kind of lost my train of thought for a moment." Naofumi chuckled awkwardly. "Anyway, I guess what I was getting at before. The monsters we were fighting didn't look exhausted so much as they looked lethargic."

Raphtalia's eyebrow perked up, and apparently, Uncle Bald Guy had been listening in too as he spoke up then. "Since when did you learn how to pronounce lethargic?"

"I've been learning some big boy words recently!" Naofumi pouted at the bald blacksmith, who laughed in response. "But anyway, that's what seemed off about the monsters from before. They didn't look tired as if they'd traveled a far distance to fight. Rather, they looked tired as if they'd just woken up from a nap or something."

"Hmmm…" Now both Uncle Bald Guy and Raphtalia had their hands on their chins.

"Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing a Yeti monster I killed having some kind of coffee mug in its hands. It was also wearing slippers and had a beer gut. It almost didn't seem like it'd been ready for a fight. Much less, to get out of bed." Uncle Bald Guy admitted.

...

Had Uncle Bald Guy actually killed one of the peaceful boomer-type yetis? Man, he really would kill just about anything when in his demonic bloodlust mode.

The conversation between them would have continued with Uncle Bald Guy taking offense at Naofumi's thoughts. However…

"Whoa!" Amber shouted in surprise as they ran over a rise.

The mountains before them parted to show a great valley with a sprawling city in front of them. The castle was even grander than Momellia's, and the buildings looked huge!

But the hugest thing there was definitely the sleeping monster that'd been resting in the center of the valley for the last few centuries.

L'Arc breathed a sigh of relief as his and Moto's wagon stopped next to theirs. "Thank goodness, it doesn't look like it's woken up yet."

"Does that mean the statue shrine seals are still in place?" Mirellia asked out loud.

A pair of Shadows appeared in the wagons at that moment. "Yes, we went ahead and checked, Your Majesty. They haven't so much as been touched."

The others sighed in relief.

"Wahoo! Fitoria really came in clutch for us then!" Motoyasu cheered happily.

The adults in Naofumi's wagon relaxed, including Dadcray in particular. "Good. That should give us plenty of time to head to the castle, gather more information, and prepare for-"

No sooner was he about to finish that sentence when the world around them began to tremble.

This caused landslides to happen in the nearby mountains.

"Wh-what's happening?!" Melty cried out in terror.

The trembling continued for several more seconds. The Filolial pulling Itsuki's wagon backpedaled as the earth gave way in front of it.

And then, there was a calm.

…

…

"Maybe it was just a minor earthquake?" L'Arc spoke out, sounding hopeful.

Kch!

A sound like glass breaking pierced the air.

In the corner of the Hero's visions, a blue hourglass with the number 7 on it had just appeared.

"You just had to open your mouth there! Didn't you?!" Glass harshly rebuked her fellow Hero.

"Hey, I was just trying to be optimistic!" L'Arc defended himself.

"...▪▪▪■■■◼◼◼" The Beast's eyes slowly opened as it let out a rumbling yawn, really putting into perspective how big its head was while laying against the hard ground far below.

"Quick, we need to get down there before it gets up! Who knows how much damage it'll cause then!" Itsuki yelled fearfully.

The Filolials rapidly began running down the steep incline. Traveling down the mountain and then through the streets of the city like a blaze of lightning.

"Whoaaaaaaa!" Bakta yelled fearfully while gripping tightly to the reins of his dragon.

"Ahahahaha! Yes! Faster! Faster!" Farrie yelled cheerfully to her own dragon mount.

"Rowr!" The dragon she was holding onto let out a happy roar, and began moving so fast that dust was being kicked up in its wake as it moved ahead.

"GWAH!" "GWAH!" "I'M NOT LETTING A SMELLY DRAGON BEAT ME!" Amber and the two Filolials with her yelled simultaneously as they pulled harder and faster.

"Babababababababa!" The teeth of everyone riding in the wagons began to rattle as they held on to the sides of their wagons for dear life.

It did not look like Elhart had signed up for this. And neither had Motoyasu or almost everyone else.

Naofumi and Raphtalia were having the time of their life though! And Big Sis S'yne was right there with them with her arms up high, letting out happy cheers of laughter!

Naofumi was so glad Raphtalia had overcome her motion sickness to the point that she could enjoy this alongside him! This was so cool!

Within a few minutes, they were already exiting the city streets and closing in on the Guardian Beast's head. It had barely moved in that time, but what little it had moved had caused the ground to quake some more, as well as some cracks to open in nearby buildings.

"That, that thing really looks freaking huge!" Elhart yelled, trying desperately to hold back his nausea after the roller coaster experience they'd just gone through.

"Yes, I'm sorry dear, it doesn't look like we'll have much time to plan after all," Dadcray said through gritted teeth.

Mirellia nodded, looking equally as worried as her husband.

Near to one of the Spirit Tortoise's legs, another Cabbage Merchant was freaking out. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled fearfully while trying to pull his cart away while the ground around him shook.

The monster's head was a dozen feet off the ground at this point. The ground was still trembling as it slowly rose.

"So, how do we want to go about this?!" Up above, Gaelion flew down low enough so that Ren's voice could reach the other Heroes down below.

"Whatever happens, we can't allow it to stand up!" Itsuki gripped his Bow resolutely. "If we have to, we'll aim at its legs and its head! That way, it'll stay in one spot!"

"Sounds good to me! You ready for this, father-in-law?!" Ren yelled to the dragon below him.

"Of course. Me and my children are always ready to feast on new prey." Gaelion bared his teeth, smoke escaping his nose as he began to radiate power from his body.

Motoyasu, Itsuki, and the other Heroes changed to their strongest weapon forms. Then they began to charge up their weapon's strongest skills. Readying them to unleash an all-out massive attack for the start of the fight against the Spirit Tortoise.

Yet as every OP individual there was readying themselves to kill… all Naofumi saw was the same dull and lethargic look in the Spirit Tortoise's eyes that'd been in the eyes of its minions.

If he didn't know any better… the massive Guardian Beast looked really, really grumpy.

"Hey, Raphtalia, are you seeing the same thing as me?" Naofumi pointed forward with his finger.

Raphtalia's eyes followed it to the Spirit Tortoise's head. And after several seconds, her eyes widened. "Yeah, I think so. You think it's the same as the minions we faced before?" She asked.

"Maybe, hmmm…" Naofumi thought to himself.

What are you thinking about now, brat?

He wasn't entirely sure. But Naofumi recalled all the times he'd woken up grumpy in his short life. It always felt like he hadn't gotten enough sleep. And if what little he understood about it meant that however this tired turtle was supposed to wake up hadn't been done properly. Then perhaps…

"Wait, before anyone attacks it, I have an idea!" Naofumi yelled, jumping onto the driver's bench of his wagon where everyone would be able to see him.

The other Heroes and their comrades looked at the kid in surprise. "Kid is now seriously the time to try and get another monster pet?!" Uncle Bald Guy declared in disbelief.

"I'm… what?" Itsuki asked in disbelief.

"Trust me, Uncle Bald Guy. I know what I'm doing this time… I think." Naofumi tilted his head unsurely.

"Heh, big confidence booster much?" Elhart rolled his eyes.

The others were still looking at the kid in confusion while the Spirit Tortoise let out another massive groan. The ground began to tremble more as the rest of its body began to shift.

"Well, whatever you're thinking of, try it now before we have to put this thing to rest ourselves!" Ren yelled.

"What he said!" Itsuki agreed.

The others voiced their support or disbelief. But Naofumi already had his hand held out to the giant Guardian Beast. Amber, thankfully, wasn't questioning him at all as he jumped onto her back and she raced off ahead of everyone toward the Spirit Tortoise's massive head.

Like, it was so massive that Naofumi was lost in its shadow as its features blotted out the sun in the evening sky.

It seemed like a long shot after all of his other failures, but you know, Naofumi wanted to try this idea just once…

"Air Strike Shield, Second Shield, Dritte Shield!" Naofumi yelled out one after the other.

The three skill shields appeared around the Spirit Tortoise's head, trapping it in place. Besides its eyes briefly widening in surprise, the large beast showed no other reaction. The rest of its body stopped trying to rise up.

Nearby, the Cabbage Merchant actually paused, looking back in confusion as the Spirit Tortoise stopped rising.

The others slowed down, staring in surprise as the kid's Shield Skills alone had trapped the mountain range-sized monster in place.

I hope you know what you're doing, brat.

He totally knew what he was doing! Even a kid like him could tell what was really going on by now thanks to the Spirit Tortoise's lack of reaction to his halting it!

The monster's strange behavior! The slowness of the massive beast in getting up and everything! It all made sense in his kid mind, and he knew just what to do to help this awesome and majestic creature in front of him now so it wouldn't have to share the same fate as every other innocent(?) monster he'd ever come across before!

"Change Shield! Pillow Shield!" Naofumi yelled.

The eyes of the others widened.

"Kid, that's seriously your plan?! You're going to get us all-" Uncle Bald Guy began to yell in disbelief.

But then the skill shields all changed to Naofumi's favorite shield of them all.

The infamous Pillow Shield, which he'd gotten his first night in this world.

"▮▮▮!?...◼◼◼■■■▪▪▪..."

The effect of the sudden soft skill shields appearing around the Spirit Tortoise's large head was… very, very, very surprising.

The Spirit Tortoise's eyes had widened once again, but then, they closed as it let out a deep pur from its throat.

The Filolials and dragons all stopped, and everyone stared in disbelief as the great bulk of the Spirit Tortoise began to rest against the ground again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Cabbage Merchant yelled in terror as the Spirit Tortoise, while settling down, settled its leg to the side just enough that it squashed the cabbage stand underneath it.

The head soon followed suit, with all three skill shields… well, pillows following the head down to the ground.

Meanwhile, inside of the Spirit Tortoise itself, Kyo was beginning to freak out.

"No! NO! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY NEW PET!? I WAS FINALLY GETTING IT TO WAKE UP!"

He began pushing at controls and flipping dials and even kicked his device out of frustration, only earning him a bruised foot. "AHHHHHHH!"

Back outside, Naofumi was grinning widely now. "See! It was just cranky from not having anything soft to lay on! I know I get like that when I'm not able to sleep well!"

Elhart's left eye was twitching. And Ren and the other Heroes were gaping at each other in disbelief.

"There's no way," Itsuki muttered.

Even Gaelion settled down to the ground. His large eyes stared uncomprehendingly at what was going on in front of him.

With his particular Dragon Emperor Fragment, he had some knowledge of the past memories of dragons who'd fought against this creature. And never before had it ever been defeated like this. What he was seeing should have been impossible on all accounts.

However, the Spirit Tortoise defied all belief as it let out one last sigh of contentment before closing its eyes once again.

Without another word, it became motionless. Its body seemingly blurring into the landscape around it once again.

The blue hourglass that'd appeared in the corner of the Heroes' visions earlier when the Spirit Tortoise first woke up vanished without a trace.

…

…

Nearby, the Cabbage Merchant stared at where his Cabbage Stand had formerly been. The leg had stopped just short of crushing him as well.

"My, MY... aw, forget it!" The man fumed as he tore his merchant outfit off and began stomping back toward the city.

Screw cabbages! They were the worst! Why'd he ever think it'd be a smart idea in the first place?!

…

Kyo stared at his display screens in silent shock. Watching as all of them shut off one after the other. Before, finally, the core itself, the one he'd worked so hard to kickstart and get going, fizzled out.

That was it. All his hard work to wake the Spirit Tortoise as fast as possible… had just been upended by a kid with the mightiest shield in all of existence.

Yes, nothing could beat the floof of the Pillow Shield… besides maybe Raphtalia's tail.

…

…

The Heroes looked around again. Seeing a bunch of people who'd come out onto the streets to observe what'd happened.

"I'm not actually dreaming now, am I?" Motoyasu asked.

"No… it looks like we just won," Ren muttered in disbelief.

"Holy crap…" Itsuki exclaimed.

The people began cheering for them. And after another moment, the Heroes all grinned as Amber ran back with Naofumi, and as he was trying to get off her, they hoisted Naofumi high above their heads. Cheering and laughing as they did so.

"We won! WE WONNNNNN!" The Cardinal Heroes all began to cheer as one.

As Naofumi laughed and giggled while being thrown up in the air, eventually it was Aultcray and Dadcray helping him down, as the other Cardinal Heroes were racing amongst their friends, laughing and crying as they did so.

Itsuki gripped Rishia tightly in a bear hug. The two looked as vanilla and wholesome as ever.

Ren nearly tackled Wyndia as she got off Gaelion, his lips crashing against hers as they hugged each other tightly.

Motoyasu ran up to Amber, but after looking between Ren and Itsuki to see what they were doing, he settled on hugging her and kissing her cheek after she'd transformed back into her human form before racing back up to Naofumi again. "How was that? Better?" He asked hopefully.

"Hmmm, yeah." Naofumi shrugged in agreement. "Just keep that up and make sure to treat my older sister like your best friend. Got it?"

Motoyasu sniffled.

He still wasn't entirely in the clear yet… but Naofumi had finally given him hope that he could improve himself enough to get back into his good graces again!

"Ha, you know what, well done there brat! That was actually some pretty impressive thinking on your part!" Uncle Bald Guy began to laugh hysterically over how unbelievable the situation had turned out.

"Woohoo!" Raphtalia happily hugged Naofumi's side. He then felt her kiss his cheek, which did feel strange. But when he turned to ask her about it, he found she was blushing a bright red and had run behind Amber to hide behind her.

Huh, weird.

Oh well. He was happy to have finally had the chance to spare a monster instead of killing it this time! Especially since the Spirit Tortoise looked so freaking cool up close!

"Can I have it as my pet now, pleeeeeeease!" Naofumi begged as he looked up at Dadcray and Momellia with pleading eyes.

"... is that even possible?" Dadcray looked to Momellia with a confused expression.

"I don't think so. Especially since it going back to sleep has sealed it once again." Mirellia shook her head. At least, that was how she understood how it'd happened.

"Aw, boo." Naofumi looked down sadly. "It looked so freaking cool too."

"Honestly, it really does look pretty cool," Dadcray said with a smile.

"Boo! Why can't I ever get a pet?!" Melty whined.

"Because you'd want a pet Filolial!" Naofumi shot back.

"Duh! They're the coolest!" Melty argued.

The celebrations would have likely gone on into the night if things had progressed naturally… but hey, you know, there's a story we got to finish. And fortunately for Kidfumi, there was a certain idiot whose plans had all just been ruined thanks to him putting his pet back to sleep and ruining all of his hard work and progress from the previous few nights.

"YOU &^%$&^% LITTLE &^%$!"

One literally could have heard the sound of a record scratch happening as the group of Heroes, their companions, the dragon, his offspring, the Filolials, literally EVERYONE; froze.

…

Their heads slowly weaved to look at who'd just spoken.

Kyo stood, breathing in and out heavily on top of the head of the Spirit Tortoise. He'd raced all the way down from the temple up top (getting weird looks from the people living in town there) to the head. And he looked nothing short of ABSOLUTELY LIVID.

"DO YOU &^%$$%# HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT TRYING TO WAKE THIS DAMN THING UP! AND HERE YOU &^%$&^% ARE PUTTING IT BACK TO SLEEP WITHOUT EVEN GIVING ME A CHANCE TO PUT MY &^%$^&% GRAND PLAN INTO MOTION! YOU &^%$^&% &^%$#!" Kyo continued to rant angrily at them.

Everyone was staring at the antagonist in stunned shock.

But as Kyo continued his rant, Naofumi tilted his head curiously. "Uncle Bald Guy?... What does &^%$ mean?"

Elhart sputtered. "Wha- what?!"

Naofumi's expression became confused. "Isn't that weird guy up there repeating that word a lot?"

…

…

…

The other Heroes had been standing, shocked not only at the fact that this dweeb had been the one who'd woken the Spirit Tortoise in the first place. But as they understood how he'd just desecrated Kidfumi's pure ears, looks of murder came onto their faces.

They'd spent all that time going the cringe route of correcting their language. Eventually managing to reach the point where it was clean and that stupid joke hardly came up anymore. And yet Kidfumi's pureness had just been tainted by this guy!?

Who cared if he was claiming to have tried to wake up a Guardian Beast to slay millions around the world?

He'd committed a FAR worse crime than that just now, we say!

"AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH ALL OF YOU &^%$&^% IDIOTS FOR RUINING MY HARD WORK AND HAVE ALL YOUR GUTS AND ORGANS LINED UP ON A LINE OF &^%$&^%$ PIKES, THEN… Then… … then…" Kyo finally trailed off as the few brain cells in his head that were still working seemed to realize several things at once.

For one, he had not taken any time to level in this world. Meaning he was currently in his 10s level-wise thanks to the few monsters he'd been able to kill on his way to the Guardian Beast.

For another, he was yelling down at a group of very powerful, Level 100+ Heroes, most of whom had shared at least 16 strengthening methods with each other. As well as a Queen with mastery of ice magic unlike anything else, a Dragon Emperor who was currently the number one candidate for becoming the Guardian Beast Dragon Emperor if the world needed it, and an overpowered Filolial who'd been trained by the Legendary Queen of Filolials in this world.

Lastly, and probably the most important part, he was not high enough level to portal out of there and make a quick getaway.

And already while going over these oversights of his tired mind, all of these people had surrounded him on all sides, preventing him from being able to escape.

…

"Meep-"

POW! WOW! CRASH! BOOM! "AIEEEE!" *Other funny onomatopeia sounds*

Naofumi and Raphtalia, suddenly by themselves, stared up in confusion at the dust cloud that'd formed around the strange Book Guy and everyone partaking in the melee to beat the absolute crap out of him without killing him.

Not to show mercy, mind you. It was mostly because it was going to take more than one round of torture to punish him for what he'd just done.

"Raphtalia, do you know what &^%$ means?" Naofumi asked confusedly.

"I think I heard my parents saying it at night before." Raphtalia put a hand to her chin in thought. "But I never did find out why. When I tried asking, they started blushing heavily and told me never to mention it again."

"Huh, actually, the same thing happened with my parents back in my world. They didn't answer me back then too." Naofumi admitted.

"Really?" Raphtalia asked.

"Yeah, pretty strange though, hmmm…" Naofumi looked down at his Shield again.

… no comment.

Huh, it probably wasn't a very important word then.

The two kids continued to watch as the guy up above was beaten to a pulp. Eventually being knocked unconscious by the fury of everyone simultaneously ganging up on the book nerd.

And thus, the premature battle against the Spirit Tortoise came to an abrupt end.

---

Author's Notes:

LOL! I know some of you found the checking your language running gag cringe earlier on, but man that payoff! AHAHAHAHAHA! I almost feel sorry for Kyo!

This chapter was such a blast. It's almost criminal that I can't post the next chapter for another two weeks since it's already done and filled with even more hilarious jokes and memes than this one. But eh, whatever, I hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you again in two weeks!

P.S. The first omake was a suggestion from Anon way back in Chapter Fifteen. Sorry it took so long, but if you're still around, I hope you've continued to enjoy the story :).

---

Hero Clips!

---

He was Never Pure

---

It was a celebration party. And everyone was happy that the Spirit Tortoise hadn't woken back up.

All was well for the Heroes and their spouses. They could be seen dancing on the dance floor or eating with their friends.

Aksel was still trying to escape Maya's attempts to take him to a separate room since he didn't want the story to escape PG territory again, but the adult raccoon girl was very persistent. And like her canon counterpart, very horny.

"Maya, please tone it down! This is a kid's story!" Aksel screamed in terror.

"Fufufufu, come here, Axie-Poo," Maya said seductively.

"AIEEEEEEE!"

Yet despite the OC's screams of terror, there was honestly nothing that could ruin the happy atmosphere everyone was enjoying. And even if Maya succeeded, things were going to be just fine and the story would stay in PG territory like always and-

"AW, &^%$! I GOT JUICE ALL OVER MY STUPID ARMOR! &^%$!"

All activity in the room paused. Maya stopped trying to drag Aksel away midstep.

Gasps of shock came as the source of the noise became evident.

"N… Naofumi?" Uncle Bald Guy said in surprise.

The kid Hero wiped the juice that'd stained his new armor from his chest plate. He was currently using a different word than the one that Kyo had used earlier, though the censorship made it hard to tell. "I can't believe it! Uncle Bald Guy finally made me some cool new armor, and then I have to go and spill juice on it! &^%$!"

It wasn't just the Heroes and their friends there. Melromarc's royalty, with the exception of Meanie, was also there. As well as Uncle Bald Guy and Auntie Shadow, some ambassadors from the Spirit Tortoise country, and others. The only one missing was Raphtalia, as she was nowhere to be found.

… What?

Yet all of them were in shock. Even Shield-Chan, staring in horror from the confines of her room in the Shield, was completely devastated by the knowledge that her smol and cute shield boy had somehow been corrupted.

Everyone knew in their heart of hearts that not a single one of them would ever dare do this to him. And only one question seemed to be on their minds.

"Kid, just where the heck did you learn that word?" Uncle Bald Guy asked Naofumi in a serious tone.

"Huh, what do you mean? I thought everyone knew it. Everyone seemed to say that a lot when stuff like this happened back at my school!" Naofumi exclaimed.

...

The crew, having barely gotten over their first earth-shattering revelation, only for this new and bigger bomb to be dropped at their feet, now knew that all of their efforts to self-censor around the kid had been in vain. What they were all feeling now was true despair. The story had officially escaped PG territory for good.

And there was only one word that could encapsulate such horror as to learn they'd gone through that cringy montage of self-censoring for so many chapters to clean up their language, only for it to have been in vain in the end.

"&^%$!" Itsuki exclaimed harshly.

"Eh, what does that word mean?" Naofumi asked confusedly.

…

…

"Um, uh, uh…" Itsuki began to stammer as he looked around himself in a panic. Everyone was now glaring at him.

NO! AND HE'D FINALLY BECOME COOL A FEW CHAPTERS AGO! NOW EVEN HIS AWESOME GIRLFRIEND WAS GIVING HIM THE GLARE OF DEATH, AND HE WAS GOING TO LOSE HIS LIFE FOR INADVERTENTLY TEACHING THEIR KID BRO A NEW CUSS WORD AND-

"Hey, what's-" Raphtalia entered the scene, holding a cup of juice in her hands. But as she tried to figure out what was going on, she tripped and spilled her juice all over her armor.

"Raphtalia, are you okay?!" Naofumi asked worriedly as he rushed up. Before he reached her though…

"AW &^%$! ARE YOU &^$%&^% KIDDING ME?! THIS &^%$&^% SUCKS! WHY THE *&%$ IS THIS *&%$*&%* JUICE SO *&$%*&% STUPID! *&%$ *&%$ *&%$ (BEEEEEEEEEE!)" The rest of her sentence was drowned out by a long drawn-out sound as she unleashed the saltiest stream of curses any of them had ever heard, making Naofumi pause and stare at her in utter shock and confusion.

…

No one was even breathing. After what Naofumi and Itsuki had said, they were staring at the pure innocent girl in downright horror.

"Miss… where did you learn such language?" Elhart asked, almost in solemn silence.

"Oh? My last owner used that language around me a lot. Why do you ask?" Raphtalia asked curiously.

…

"Is he still alive?" Uncle Bald Guy said harshly to the King.

"Yes. Let us fix that mistake now, shall we?" Dadcray responded, an ominous aura appearing around his form.

"Yes." "Let's." "Do." "It." Moto, L'Arc, Itsuki, and Ren said in agreement as they equipped their strongest weapon forms as well.

They'd been blue balled earlier when they weren't allowed to unleash their OP moves on the ST. But that wasn't going to happen again now.

---

"Oh, finally! Please tell me that you have some food with you!" The formerly fat, now extremely emancipated-looking nobleman pleaded weakly behind the bars of his cell.

"Ha, he thinks we're here to feed him." Ren laughed cruelly.

"Yes, how ironic that it's finally come to this." Itsuki agreed. All had been forgiven, and his coolness had been preserved.

On top of that, it was about time to finally deal with one of the last loose ends of this story. And allow Justice to prevail.

"You… you are here to give me food, right?" Idol Rabier asked in fear.

He did not get a response, as the Heroes all began to charge up their strongest skills.

"Skill Prism." Aultcray ejected a prism from his staff that was similar to Magic Prism. Only, it had the same effect on skills.

You know what that means!

"AIEEEEE-" Idol Rabier began to screech in terror.

"Meteor Thrust!"

"Meteor Shot!"

"Meteor Slash!"

"Shooting Star Slash!"

"Fenrir Force!"

Needless to say, Idol Rabier was given the atomization treatment on the spot thanks to all the multiple OP attacks the Heroes unleashed.

They might not have gotten the chance to use their attacks against the Spirit Tortoise earlier. But this felt far more satisfying!

Goodbye at last, formerly fat noble. You shall be missed as much as that idiot whose name I've already forgotten.

What was his name again? I'm pretty sure it was Taco.

Mmmm, Tacos…

---

Hero Clips!

---

Strange Monster Drops

---

"Stupid Shield-Chan! Why did all those bat familiars give me soap?!" He complained.

Because you stink! Also, I hate that name!

"What would you prefer me to call you then?!" Naofumi asked. "And how can you tell that I stink?! You don't even have a nose!

I don't know! But regardless, I hate that stupid name!

"Boo!" Naofumi yelled at his Shield with all the adorable anger he could muster.

Yet the soap in his monster drop inventory didn't change to something else.

"Naofumi, are you talking to your weapon again?" Raphtalia asked with a sigh.

"Of course I am! I mean, just look at what most of those monsters gave me! You remember how many of them were bald and wearing old man slippers and all that?!" Naofumi proceeded to put his hand into his Shield's gemstone and pulled out a variety of soaps.

Like, it wasn't just one type. His Shield had provided him with all sorts from Old Spice to Lavender scented. There was even a fancy one that smelled like lemons.

"Huh? That is a strange monster drop compared to some of your other ones." Raphtalia tilted her head curiously. "It's been a while since you mentioned monster drops, actually."

"Yeah! Well anyway, my Shield says it's doing it because I stink!" Naofumi complained.

Raphtalia put her head close and sniffed her best friend. Then, to his surprise, she actually grimaced and stepped back a few feet. "Your Shield might have a point, Naofumi."

"Wha- no! You can't be agreeing with Shield-Chan too!" Naofumi despaired.

Take a shower, brat! Or a bath! I don't care, just please clean yourself with that soap already before I lose my mind!

Boo! As if she had a mind to lose in the first place!

Heck, maybe he was the one losing his mind since he was talking to a shield and had even named it Shield-Chan!

Naofumi might have cut his losses there if he was smart. However, kids aren't generally well-known for being smart all the time. And thus he dug through his drop inventory menu some more, and found…

"Seriously, Shield-Chan, another toothbrush?! That makes at least twenty in the last month! I don't need more toothbrushes!"

Let me make it simple for you then: BRUSH YOUR FREAKING TEETH ALREADY!

Nooooo! Shield-Chan was becoming even more strict than Auntie Shadow or Momellia had ever been! Even his drop inventory menu was being used against him to try and make him practice good hygiene!

And thus Naofumi never opened his drop inventory menu again. Because it was likely only going to be filled with other strange and useless junk that'd make him hate his life.

I'll force those items out of my gemstone if I have to!

And Naofumi ignored Shield-Chan's existence while he was at it. Because Shields sucked.

BOO!

---

Till Next Time

Allen