Author's Note:
Hi everyone! We are back, and what a wild few days it's been. For those of you who don't know, Death Island came out in some countries already and some people shared clips on twitter. I'm marking the section with spoilers below so you can skip if you're not interested in reading about the movie just yet.
Anyway, another chapter from Leon's POV. This will be the last "slow-paced" chapter and then things will pick up afterward. I just wanted to cover how both perspectives were feeling and coping with the whole situation they've found themselves in. Content warning for alcohol abuse.
Enjoy!
****SPOILERS****
I have seen most (if not all) the clips that have been uploaded from Death Island. There are definitely certain Jilleon interactions that have yet to be shared, BUT, from what I've seen, they both look great and their dynamic is just *chef's kiss.* I think one thing to note though, unfortunately, is that there is no flirting/asking out to dinner happening (on screen, at least, ahahaha). I've already said this in the first chapter, but I don't think I'll change anything, since I went into this knowing fully well that some of those spoiler reviews would probably be incorrect. That said, if I do decide to change something down the line, I might just make it where Leon asked Jill out *after* the events of DI, either on the way back or once they've made it to HQ.
I have rewatched the Jilleon interactions so many times, I lost count. I love them to pieces and I'm so happy to finally see them together. Their dynamic is EXACTLY how I imagined it would be (this will be clear in chapter 6, which is more action-focused). I adored all the little touches and all the little worried looks and the teamup and the saving each other. So good! All the jilleon shippers will be eating good in this movie. Can't wait to see them in better quality! (If you've seen the clips, you are hereby invited to scream about them in the comments, as well, ahaha!)
5
"It's been a while." Claire lies on her stomach beside Leon while he lies on his back, a blanket draped messily over them.
"Yeah." He breathes out.
Claire shifts next to him, sitting up slowly, holding the blanket against her. "Maybe my memory's not serving me right but… it didn't feel like you were into it much."
"No, I was," he lies.
The only times he was into it are the times he could vividly picture Jill's face in place of Claire's. When she touched him almost like Jill did, kissed him like Jill did, felt like Jill did. But the more he tried to chase Jill's memory, the quicker he was pulled out from it, because Claire was not Jill. And that fact keeps slapping him in the face, keeps dumping buckets of ice-cold water on his head, and yet, for some goddamn reason, he refuses to wake up.
"I'm just tired," he adds in an attempt to sell her on what is otherwise an obviously cheap product. "I came here as soon as I was done with work. Straight from the field. Had to argue with Hunnigan to postpone the debrief. Typed a whole report and emailed it on the way to get them off my back for the time being."
"Wow." Claire's voice is monotone. "All that just for me?"
He doesn't say anything to that.
"Or… is it?" Claire asks.
Leon sighs. He moves his arm from his face and reaches to touch her face. Fingers somewhat sticky with sweat against her skin. "For you."
"You know, I feel like the older you get, the worse of a liar you become." She slaps his hand away and turns around, reaching for something on the floor, probably her clothes. "Not sure that's a good thing. You might be looking to get fired soon."
Leon lets out a pathetic chuckle. "Maybe that is what I'm looking for."
Claire makes a noise between a huff and a sigh. She throws her underwear on, then her shirt, then goes to fetch a bottle of water from her bag.
"So, uh…" Leon clears his throat, eyes darting back and forth between Claire and the bed sheets. "Chris and Jill… that's a thing, huh?"
"Yeah," Claire says after sipping some water. She turns to face him again, leaning against the table. "Has been for a little over a month now, I think."
So that's how late he was. A little over a month.
Leon nods. "Good for them. I thought they would have gotten together long before that."
"Me too," Claire says. "I think they just didn't want to mix things up with work. And I'm not sure Jill was enthusiastic about the concept of relationships, after everything she's been through. But…" she trails off momentarily, then shrugs. "Well, I don't know what changed now. As long as they're happy."
Are they? Happy? Or, at least, is Jill happy?
Maybe he hasn't known her long, but she looked far from it at that table.
And Claire's words, they remind him of a conversation he had with Jill, that night, while they were lying in bed, while her warm body was pressed to his, while he had his arm wrapped around her middle.
"Can I be honest?" she said, her voice a sweet murmur.
"Of course," Leon said, tilting his head so he could stare at her directly.
"I…" There was an obvious struggle in her eyes when they met his, but she managed nonetheless, "I haven't really done this in a while. Years, actually."
Leon's breath caught in his throat, a sudden rush of… pressure, and responsibility, coursing through him. Along with surprise. "Well, I hope I delivered." It came out in an awkward laugh.
Jill scoffed, but then she smiled. A gorgeous smile. "You did."
"I wouldn't have guessed it," Leon said, his hand running gently up and down her back in a soothing, reassuring gesture. To tell her it was okay. He didn't care. Didn't judge. It didn't matter in the least. But just in case the touch alone wasn't enough, he said, "You certainly didn't seem out of practice."
Jill's eyes rolled at him hard, like they always did whenever he said anything that was remotely cheesy. She was about to pull away from him, but he held her tighter, brought her closer, so their bodies were pressed hard together.
Her hand rested on his chest, faint and ghostly. "I just didn't feel ready. Until now, I guess."
"Of course," Leon said. "That's fine. It's the most important part of it. Being ready."
She swallowed, pretty eyes meeting his once more. Lips curled up in a teasing, playful smirk. "Don't break my heart."
A low laugh rumbled in Leon's throat. "Wouldn't dream of it. I know you'd break my bones if I did."
"That's right." She chuckled.
And although it had come out as a joke then, Leon can't help but wonder now, if she was serious about it. Even just a tiny bit.
"Why do you ask?" Claire's voice pulls him out of the memory. There's a tone to her question. One he very much recognizes.
"Just curious," Leon says. "Last time I saw them together they weren't joined at the hip. At least not to that extent."
"Uh-huh," Claire says.
Leon lifts his head, stares into her eyes directly. "Don't uh-huh me."
"I didn't say anything." Claire shrugs.
"Good, because there's nothing to say."
"You saying that is already saying a lot."
"Claire," Leon sits up, "don't push it."
"Wow," Claire says, "You liked her that much, huh?"
"It's not… that," Leon says, but he can barely think of a defense for himself. Claire knows him too well. He's been caught red-handed, and the only way out he can see is to go in head first. "I thought she was cute," he confesses. The best way to tell a lie is to mix some truth into it, right? "Thought maybe I could take her out to dinner sometime. That's it. Now I know she's not available. End of story."
"Okay, alright!" Claire waves her hands about. "You don't need to get defensive with me. I'm not judging you. I kinda get it. Jill is gorgeous."
That she is.
"Let's put a cap on this now," Leon says and gets out of bed to fetch his own clothes, dirty as they are.
"We can seal it in a bottle and toss it out into the ocean if you like," Claire teases. "I won't say anything to either of them. I promise."
"Yeah, I know you won't," Leon says. Maybe there is more tension between him and Claire these days, but his trust for her has never wavered. He can only hope that she still trusts him the same, because God knows he doesn't trust himself.
"Are you leaving?" Claire asks once he's all dressed up and headed for the door.
"I saw a bar not too far from here," he says. "Think I wanna grab a drink. You wanna come?"
Claire's eyes narrow at him. With concern more than judgement.
"Just one drink," Leon says, a blatant lie. "It's been a long day."
"I think the wine at the restaurant was enough," she says. "Being tipsy is all I can spare. I still have to show up to work tomorrow."
"Right." Leon nods. "Then I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess it is."
He turns away and to the door.
"Leon," Claire calls. He pauses. "Take care of yourself, okay?"
He laughs. "Don't worry about me."
He's on his fifth—no, seventh glass? And he's still not drunk enough.
Or, rather, the more drunk he gets, the more persistent her image becomes. The memory of her walking away from him in that mini skirt sets his blood aboil. Why didn't he grab her by the arm? Push her against the wall? Kiss her hard? So that she can remember what it felt like. So that he can get one last bite off her before he lets her go?
But it goes back further than that.
A little over a month, and he checked on his phone, read their messages again.
A little over a month.
That's roughly around the time he texted her, granted, one month late since their previous exchange.
Sorry. Work happened. And then more work. And then more. he'd texted.
It's okay. she'd texted back. That was her only response. But was it okay, really?
Was it before or after his text that she decided to throw herself at Chris instead?
Had she given up on him before that?
Was it his text that gave her the last push?
He should have said something different.
He should have called her instead. Told her he misses her. Would love to see her again. Touch her again. Have her on top of him and beneath him and wherever the hell she wanted to be with him.
But he did none of that, and this is where he's at. Drinking the consequences of his own actions. What kind of guy keeps a woman like her waiting, anyway? He doesn't deserve her. Doesn't have any right over her. Not even to be upset. Not even to be jealous. And maybe that's part of it. Maybe even before he saw her tonight, he was well-aware of that fact.
Leon downs another glass in seconds and orders a next.
His throat constricts at the image of Chris's arm around her waist, the waist Leon was holding, where his own arm fit so nicely, where it belonged. And it kills him to see someone else touch her like he did that night.
It kills him to think that, somewhere right about now, she's tangled up in the bed sheets with someone else, naked and sweaty and out of breath, and it's not his name that's dancing on her pretty lips.
Another glass is downed.
And if he could just turn back time, a little over a month ago, so he could cancel whatever the hell he was up to with work and show up at her doorstep with flowers and kisses and plans for a proper dinner date.
But no. It's too late now. Too late for any of that.
He already lost her.
And that's another screw-up added to his résumé.
Author's Note:
Thank you so much to everyone who's read this far! Please do let me know your thoughts in the comments below! They're always a joy to read, and they help me get a sense of where readers are at!
Also, just a friendly reminder that I do artwork as well, and I posted some Jilleon fanart a couple hours ago on my Tumblr kenny-valentine. So please check it out if you're interested in seeing more Jilleon content!