8
The kiss is heated, eager, urgent, forceful.
His hands grab tightly at her arms, holding her close and in place. His lips are tasty and soft, just as she remembers them, but she doesn't let herself savor them for too long, nor does she allow him the pleasure. Because it takes her all but a second before she pushes him away, making him stumble a few steps.
Her jaw sets, brows furrow. Fury burns in her blood. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
He steadies himself, gives her a mere shrug of his shoulders, his tongue passing over his lips. "Nothing." His voice is stone cold, a sharp contrast to the warmth that radiated from his mouth just a second ago. "Nothing is wrong with me," he says. "We never said goodbye properly anyway, did we? In fact, as far as I remember, we said that we'd see each other again."
"Yeah," Jill presses. "And then you spent four months ignoring me."
"I thought you said I was busy."
"You were," Jill says. "You were busy with more important things, and I obviously wasn't one of them."
"That's not fair." His shoulders drop.
She scoffs. "You know what's not fair? Kissing me when you know I'm with someone else."
"No." Leon shakes his head. "What's not fair is not telling me that you're with someone else until I'm about to kiss you."
"You would have known sooner if you were actually good at keeping in touch."
"Would I?"
Jill huffs. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm saying, if I had been better at keeping in touch, would you even be with Chris right now?"
She falters.
"Are you sure you're not with him just to spite me?"
Jill rolls her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."
"Or because you were tired of waiting, and needed a distraction."
She sends a pointed glare at him. "You know, Leon, you're threading on a very thin line right now."
"Am I?" He trudges. "Why's that line so thin, Jill? Ever asked yourself that? Maybe because what you and Chris have isn't as strong as it's supposed to be?"
"Screw you." Jill snaps. "We had sex once. Get over it."
"Right." Leon laughs. "Did you?" he asks. "Get over it?"
No.
No, she didn't. She's simply being a hypocrite. Simply hoping he might make this easy on her. Because the more she stares into his eyes, the weaker she feels, the more tempted she is to surrender to that voice in her head. The one that keeps reminding her of that night.
"I'm not having this conversation with you now," Jill says. "You're late. And not even in a fashionable way."
She's about to walk away, but he grabs her, again, and this time she struggles against his grasp. Unfortunate that his kiss already sucked away much of her strength and resolve to fight him. He tightens his hold on her, and she tries, despite herself, to break free.
"You miss me." His breath hits her face, making her freeze.
He's right. "You wish."
"You know how I know?" he whispers close to her ear. Her body shivers. "Because you couldn't take your eyes off me once. When we sat at that table, all four of us."
He's right. Again.
"Because you almost didn't stop me from kissing you that night." His lips brush ever so lightly against her ear. "And you didn't stop me this time. Not fast enough, at least."
Jill stares into the distance, swallowing a lump, a breath caught in her throat.
He's right. He's so right.
"And I have a hard time imagining Jill Valentine be too slow." Leon moves his head so he can look her in the eyes directly. "In fact," his mouth is an inch away from hers, "I think I got a pretty good idea of how fast you can be, when you want. You could have flung me across the room by now if you really wanted."
Her fierce eyes stare into his, pointedly dodging his mouth. Her jaw square. Lips pressed together tight. Sealed. Locked. Because she has no argument to counter that. Because he's right about absolutely everything.
"If you could just see your face right now." He leans in, nose nudging hers. "You're dying for me to kiss you again."
Yes.
She is.
She should let him.
No. She should kiss him herself.
The door opens all of a sudden. Both Jill and Leon jump away from each other, their eyes shooting to observe the new arrival.
A stunned Rebecca stands at the entrance, and behind her is a worried Claire, pushing past to come inside in a rush.
"Oh my God!" Claire gasps. She runs in and falls to her knees by the hospital bed, taking Sherry's hand in hers "Sherry!"
Jill swallows. She holds Leon's gaze for a brief moment before looking at Rebecca, who stands by the door, eyes darting back and forth between her and Leon.
Crap.
Did she see? No, she definitely saw something, with the way she's looking at them.
"How is she doing?" Claire asks, looking toward both Leon and Jill.
"She's recovering," Jill says. "It might take her a bit, but… the vaccine is working."
Claire's eyes close for a brief moment, before they open again, fierce and angry. "Why didn't you tell me anything? You, and Chris?" She's directing that at Jill specifically. "How is it that I had to hear from Rebecca? She doesn't even work here full-time."
"I'm sorry." Jill frowns. "I didn't want to worry you. I was gonna call once we heard something good."
Claire's eyes remain on Jill for a moment before moving to Leon. "And you? Why didn't you call?"
Leon says nothing. He just stares.
"Claire," Jill tries, "I'm really sorry. You're right. We should have told you."
Claire lets out a long breath. She shakes her head, and in place of that angry expression settles a frown. "No. I'm sorry. I don't mean to lash out. It's just… the moment I heard, I… I'm just glad she's okay."
"We are too," Leon says. He walks over to Claire and rests a hand on her shoulder. "She's tough. She's fighting, and she'll see it through. I'm sure of it."
"Yeah." Claire nods. She places a hand over Leon's. "I believe in her."
And now that Claire and Rebecca saved Jill from making what would have arguably been one of the biggest mistakes in her life, it's time to put as much distance as she can between her and that potential mistake.
"I'm going to head out now," Jill says, backing slowly toward the door. "You guys need anything?"
"No, thank you," Claire says.
"Alright." Jill nods. "Let me know if anything happens."
"Actually, Jill." Rebecca follows after her. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Sure." Jill nods for her to come along, and the two of them leave together.
There's an awkward silence as Jill and Rebeca walk down the hallway, away from Sherry's room.
"I'm glad the vaccine worked." Rebecca smiles. Her eyes are on Jill.
"Me too," Jill says. "Thank you for your help. Once again, you saved the day."
"It was nothing." Rebecca waves a dismissive hand. "All I did was send notes. I'm sorry I couldn't come until now. I would have loved to be involved in the process."
"You still helped." Jill gives her elbow a gentle bump.
"Well, I'm glad to hear it." Rebecca giggles. "Is Chris still not back yet?"
"No," Jill says. "I don't know when he'll be back."
"I hope he's okay."
"Me too." Jill stops by the elevator. "Where you headed? I was gonna grab some lunch. You wanna come?"
Rebecca shakes her head. "Thanks. I'd like to head down to the labs if that's okay."
"Sure." Jill pushes the button for the elevator and they both step in. Then she buttons for the first floor. The doors glide shut in seconds.
Silence returns, this time, stretching longer. But silence is far more welcome than the alternative—
"Jill, can I… ask you a question?"
Damn it.
Jill nods. "Sure. What's up?"
"Earlier…" Rebecca says, her arms folding behind her back, eyes hesitantly settling on Jill, "in the room with Sherry, before Claire and I came. You and Leon…"
Jill's heart drops.
"Were you… fighting?" Rebecca asks.
There's a pause as Jill studies that question. Is it a genuine question? A trick question? Is Rebecca trying to study her now the same way Jill is doing?
"I didn't really hear what you were saying," Rebecca claims. "But it looked like you were fighting."
It looked like. Maybe.
"It's… nothing," Jill says.
"Are you sure?"
A nod. "Yeah, it was just… he was stressed out, about Sherry. I was trying to calm him down, and he… I think he just needed to let some steam out. It's all good."
Rebecca's brows pinch, and for a split second there, Jill thinks maybe she knows more than she's letting on. But the shorter woman gives her a most genuine smile. "I can't really blame him. Sherry means a lot to him. Same with Claire."
"Yeah," Jill says. "I'm glad we got her the vaccine when we did."
The elevator doors open, and out walk Jill and Rebecca.
"Thanks again, Becca." Jill pats her shoulder. "Let me know if there are any updates."
"Will do." Rebecca nods. "Enjoy your lunch."
Only, Jill doesn't have lunch. She walks outside for a breath of fresh air, stands there staring at nothing in particular, thinking about Leon's kiss. Thinking about his voice in her ear. His lips against her skin. His eyes looking into hers. And when she manages to shake herself off, she heads back inside and straight to her office, where she locks herself.
The ghost feeling of his lips presses to hers. She passes a hand over her mouth to wipe it away, and when it doesn't go away, she wipes again, and again, and again, until tears well up in her eyes, and her legs cave. She falls onto her couch, out of breath, throat tight.
How could she let him do that? No. How could she do that? To Chris?
Because Leon's right. She could have pushed him off her if she wanted. She could have stopped him if she wanted. She could have reacted faster… if she wanted.
But she didn't want.
And that fact makes bile rise up her throat. It makes her hands shake and her heart race and her head throb with a headache.
Because now it's too late. She let it happen, and now, nothing she can do will erase it. Nothing will take it away. Nothing will make her forget just how desperate she is to feel Leon all over her body again.
And Chris is no longer going to be enough.
His kiss stays with her the whole time. Haunting her. Reminding her of a night she never forgot. But behind all that desire, all those wants, there's resentment. Because she wouldn't be here, had he been a little more serious about them. None of this would have happened, had he tried a little harder. Had he, at the very least, shown her he was interested. And he has no right to claim all the space in her mind that he occupies. No right to make her body long for him the way that it does. No right to take her away from the man she unwillingly gave herself to. No right over her, whatsoever.
But she allows him anyway.
And maybe she resents herself more than she resents him.
Because it's a reminder of an ugly truth.
That no matter how much she tries to be in control of herself, there are things her body just won't allow her to decide.
Jill has no idea how long she's been sitting in her office, and it's not until a knock brings her attention to the present that she gets up and unlocks the door.
"Ms. Valentine, excuse me," one of the assistants stands on the other side, "We tried calling but you didn't answer. I wanted to remind you about the meeting you'll be attending in ten minutes?"
"Right." Jill gives him a nod. "Thanks for reminding me. I'll head there right now."
"Great," the assistant nods and steps back, headed down the hallway in a hurry.
Jill walks out of her office and closes the door. She's about to head to the conference room, but comes to an instant halt.
Leon is rushing down the hallway in her direction.
She turns the other way, which is the exact opposite direction to the conference room, but she'd rather miss the meeting than look at Leon's face right now.
"Jill!" Leon's voice chases after her. She tries to walk faster, without drawing too much attention, without making it obvious to everyone passing that she's trying to run away from him. Ultimately, she's not fast enough. His hand wraps around her arm shortly, pulling her to a stop.
"Don't touch me!" Jill shakes his hand off her. She turns to face him, furious. "Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. Just don't."
He swallows, holds his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, I…" He breathes out. "Did Rebecca… Did she say something? Did she see?"
Jill's brows knit together. Oh, he'd love to know, wouldn't he? "Just stay away from me, Leon. I'm serious."
He frowns. "Sorry."
"Are you?" Jill scoffs. It's hard to keep her voice below a whisper-yell, but she tries anyway. "You can't just… pretend I don't exist for months, and once you find out I'm dating someone, decide that, oh, now's a good time to try your luck with me. That's not how that works, and let me tell you this: nothing's going to happen between us. Nothing."
"I get it," he says, and he sounds genuinely apologetic. Jill hates it. "I overstepped."
"You did," she says. I want you to overstep again, that dark voice inside her head wants to add.
"I, uh…" the rest of his words don't come out, because his eyes fixate on something behind her instead.
Jill notices and turns.
Chris waves at them as he walks right toward them, and vomit has never risen up Jill's throat so fast. She forces it back down, though. Forces a smile while she's at it, too, then she walks to Chris, meeting him halfway.
"Hey," she says, "you're back."
"Yeah." He holds her face and leans in, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. One she hopes Leon is watching when she returns it. Chris's eyes land on Leon next. "Leon," he says. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm great, thanks," Leon says. "Good to see you in one piece."
Chris smiles. "And how's Sherry?"
"She's recovering," Jill says. "Should be better in no time."
"That's good to hear," Chris says. "I'm glad."
"You coming to the meeting too?" she asks.
"Yeah." Chris sighs. "Was hoping to take a shower first, but I guess that'll have to wait."
"Maybe we can go grab something to eat after." Jill runs a hand down Chris's arm before hooking hers around it, nudging him to walk with her. "I still haven't had lunch."
"Sounds good." Chris nods and walks alongside her.
"You should go back to Sherry, in case something happens," Jill tells Leon when they pass by him, and she holds Chris's arm a little tighter in the process.
"Right," Leon says, barely looking at her for more than a second. "Yeah. I'll do that."
"See you around," Chris says to him. "I'll drop by the med bay later to check on her."
"Don't worry about it." Leon smiles.
But even as they leave Leon behind them, Jill can't help but shoot a glance over her shoulder. And her heart nearly shatters when she catches that broken look on Leon's face. For a split second, before he turns his back to her, and she to him.