XIX. Heart of glass

…

During dessert, Zelena barely followed the table conversations. Most of the time, it was Regina's mother who gave the latest gossip from New York high society, skillfully ignoring the fact that neither her daughter nor the girlfriend of hers were enthusiastic about it. She sipped the hot non-alcoholic berry punch Regina had handed. Freek's interest was in his plate, and she hoped he would stuffed enough afterwards that he would drop like a stone into his bed. The look on his face in the hallway when she had come out of the kitchen had made it really clear to her that he had heard her conversation with Regina.

"And what do you do?" asked Cora Mills abruptly, addressing Freek. He, however, had his mouth full and some custard stuck to his lip.

"My husband is a skilled carpenter," she answered tersely in his place. "I'm a waitress at the Rabbit Hole and also work at the grocery store."

She wisely kept the fact to herself that he had not pursued his profession for a long time. He had formerly run his own business, but he had sold it after her mother died for using it to move back to Kansas. His alcoholism had caused things to go successively downhill, and he had never kept his jobs for long. Since she was old enough to work, it had been on her to earn their living.

"How lovely." Cora arched a brow. The ironic undertone in her voice left no doubt that she thought it beneath her to share the table with someone who belonged to the lower working class.

Regina rolled her eyes demonstratively. "Mom, those are just as decent jobs as being sheriff or mayor. Or a baker."

"Sure, child." She pushed her plate away from her with only the sauce left on it. "You've dished up properly. Did you finally hire a cook?"

"I always do the cooking myself, you know that."

"You've got to try Mom's lasagna, Grandma," Henry interjected. "I bet there's none better in all of New York."

Regina gave her son an affectionate smile, while Emma nodded in agreement. It must have been their favorite dish. Briefly, Zelena's thoughts wandered back to her childhood, to those few happy years. When Melia had asked what she should cook, she had always asked for pea soup with wiener.

"I'm going to retire now," Regina's mother finally stated with dignity. "It's been a long day. Tomorrow I'm going out for a walk with my grandson."

The boy then spluttered into his punch and only managed a surrendered nod.

As Regina set about collecting the used dessert plates, Zelena helped her, leaving only Freek and Emma at the table after Henry had already returned to his new tablet.

"My mother's behavior is out of the question, I'm sorry," Regina said quietly once they were in the kitchen to themselves. She put one last small Tupperware box of apples in a dormancy bag, already containing the bowls of leftovers from the main course, and handed it to Zelena. "This will fill you up tomorrow, too."

At that moment Freek appeared in the doorway and answered instead of her. "It's time to go home. Thanks for the good food."

"You're welcome, I was glad you accepted the invitation," Regina replied politely and escorted them both into the hallway.

Putting on her jacket, Zelena gritted her teeth to keep her from noticing that every careless movement sent a wave of agony through her sore back. The blows had barely healed in three days.

Regina opened the front door for the two, whereupon a gush of icy air blew in. "Get home safe, and I wish you another pleasant holiday season."

"To you and your family, too." Zelena returned her gaze. The contact lasted only a moment before she felt Freek's large hand between her shoulder blades and couldn't hold back a pained hiss.

Outside, he pressed the keys of the pickup truck into her hand. He didn't have to speak to her to make it clear he was angry. It wasn't just the cold that made her fingers tremble on the steering wheel as the engine sputtered to life. In the rearview mirror, she saw the mansion at number 108 receding behind them. In that large elegant house, at table with the mayor and her family, she had felt out of place. It was like another world into which she and Freek, as Cora Mills had made clear, would never belong. Regina herself gave her a very different feeling. There was something familiar between them that she couldn't put her finger on.

The farm awaited them dark and quiet. Zelena immediately retreated to the kitchen to put the food in the refrigerator. When her father did not follow her, she breathed a sigh of relief. She heard him rumbling in the living room next door. Suddenly he yelled her name, making her wince violently. He was waiting for her in front of the fireplace, appraising her disparagingly. In his hands he was holding the wrapped gift from Regina and the book from Robin, he must have taken both out of her bag.

"Look what the dirty ranger gave you," he said threateningly calm. "A little princess. It's a children's book, ridiculous! How does he get to that?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself," she replied as calmly as possible. "I don't know him any closer, I swear!"

Freek pulled down the bow and tossed it into the fire before flipping open the book and holding out the first page to her, where a few handwritten lines were noted. "Read this."

Goosebumps ran down her spine as she grasped the content of the words. "Since you like stories, I think you'll enjoy this one. Merry Christmas, Robin."

"So, you don't know him any closer? What's going on between you two? Say it now, Zelena!"

She clenched her violently shaking hands into fists. "Nothing, I swear! We've exchanged a few words maybe two or three times. I can't help it if he likes me."

"As if he cares about you. Look at you, you've gotten fat." With a contemptuous laugh, he tossed the book into the fireplace, where it was consumed by the flames. "He wants to have a little fun with you, that's it."

The flickering firelight was warm on Zelena's face when she watched silently as the cover warped and the image of the serious little girl on it became a grotesque grimace.

"And what do you suppose Miss Mills is giving you?" He pressed the package into her hand. "Go on, open it."

Zelena complied and untied the ribbon that sealed the paper like a small pouch. Inside she found a tin of organic peppermint tea, its squiggly label revealing that the herbs came from the garden of the resident monastery. Briefly, she remembered that the nuns had run a charity stall at the Christmas market. With her thumb, she touched the sticker in the shape of a grinning cartoon snowman with big googly eyes that Regina must have stuck on. Instead of the usual three pieces of charcoal, he had only one on his chest, which looked like a heart. She had remembered that this was her favorite kind of tea. Since Freek had never been interested in what she liked and disliked, he had no reason to ask her further.

"You can take that one to the kitchen," he decided after a moment when she already feared that the tea would also be a victim of the flames. "Get upstairs right away then, do you understand?"

She knew exactly what he meant. With one last glance at the charred remains of the book, she scurried out of the room to stow the tin in the supply closet. Reluctantly, she then groped up the stairs to the upper floor. The restrained glow of the bedside lamp fell through his open bedroom door. The bed was untouched, and he stood with his back to her in front of the window, already stripped to his ribbed rowing bodice and underpants. The floorboards creaked under her feet, whereupon he turned around.

"Take off your clothes," he ordered her.

Obediently, she slipped out of her sweater, which scraped across her back and unzipped her pants. When she was standing there in only a thin shirt and panties, shivering from the sudden chill on her skin as well as the idea of what he was going to do to her, he circled the bed. With a nod of his head, he signaled her to proceed as he took of his remaining clothing.

"You fell for the ranger, didn't you?" Unmistakably, he dug his hand into her bare shoulder. "You want him to touch you."

"No..." she just stammered.

Freek pushed her down onto the bed and pulled off her panties. "The idea of being really touched by him turns you on. But he won't touch you, Zelena. You're mine."

Her eyes widened. "Don't, Father...please!"

This time his touches were almost gentle as he tried to provoke a reaction from her body. She felt his cold fingers on her bare breasts, between her legs, and finally inside her, making her shiver.

"You lied again." With a grim smile, he showed her his hand.

Zelena turned away in shame. Suddenly Freek pressed her backward into the mattress, making her whimper in pain. She tried to brace herself against his chest to relieve her body. Tormented, she cried out and squirmed under him as he began to move inside her. The rape three days before had also left its traces. All at once his weight disappeared and she opened her eyes in irritation.

"Not like that. Turn around, come on," he grumbled. "I want to hear you scream with pleasure like you would do for him."

Zelena scrambled to her feet so that she was crouched on her hands and knees in front of him. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Then he thrust into her again. It still hurt, but she bit her lip and her fingers clawed into the blanket. She knew he wouldn't be satisfied and leave her alone until he got what he demanded from her, so she pretended to him exactly what he wanted to hear. It was infinitely humiliating and she didn't think about Robin. She didn't think about anything at all.