CHAPTER 11 – In Sickness And In Health
It was dark.
The black fog clung to Gintoki's skin as he pushed through it, searching for a light in the enveloping darkness. It scalded his skin and smothered him as he tried his hardest just to breathe. Its heat was almost unbearable and yet he couldn't stop shivering. He clenched his jaw to stop his teeth from chattering and continued on.
Gintoki heard a mechanical beeping.
He turned towards the sound and broke into a run. As it got louder and louder, his foot caught on something and he stumbled, dropping to his knees. The fog swelled around him and stung his eyes as he blindly patted the ground, trying to find what he had just tripped on.
As his fingers brushed across what felt as someone's skin, the fog parted and Gintoki found himself staring down at Shinpachi's face.
Gintoki's fingers froze on his cheek.
He knew what this place was. His nightmares usually were terribly vivid. Yet this one, devoid of all details, was even worse. It forced him to focus only on Shinpachi as he lay cold and lifeless in his barren hands.
The beeping sound started getting louder.
Gintoki couldn't even bring himself to scream. He held Shinpachi closer and leaned Shinpachi's head against his own shoulder as he stared into nothingness, waiting for all of it to pass. Waiting to return to a reality where Shinpachi was as lively as ever.
The machinelike blare shook against his eardrums.
He rested his cheek against Shinpachi's soft hair. Maybe… maybe it would be better if he stayed here. If he were never to return, then perhaps Shinpachi and Kagura wouldn't be in any danger because of him. Weren't these nightmares a prophecy of sort? Gintoki couldn't pinpoint in what way he would endanger them, but wasn't it better to be safe than sorry?
After all, he failed the two people in his life he wanted to save the most.
Gintoki hugged Shinpachi tighter as a wistful smile cracked on his face. They would've been so disappointed if they knew I think like that. Shouyo-sensei, Takasugi, Shinpachi and Kagura. It was Gintoki's duty to carry their will, no matter their shape or form.
The earsplitting siren stopped.
And in the sudden silence, gentle voices trickled through the fog like small wisps of tender light. Whether they were seconds or eons apart, Gintoki couldn't tell. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he understood.
This was not where he belonged.
Hijikata had finally found him.
He was in his office when his phone rang.
His heart stuttered in his chest when he saw the caller ID on his phone. Sweets Freak. His thumb shook over the accept-call button as he tried to steady his breathing and wipe that stupid smile off his face. It wasn't working and he gave up, finally picking up and blabbing out the first thing that was on his mind.
Hijikata couldn't even remember what it was.
The rain pattering on the gravel coming through the open sliding doors was the only thing Hijikata could hear. It was April and the weather was fickle, a tad gloomy for spring, yet Hijikata was on cloud nine as he waited to hear Gintoki's voice.
He heard nothing. Nothing but the rain.
"Gintoki?"
Ah. It felt like the rain outside was pouring into his chest, as if it was a bowl about to overflow and burst into tiny pieces. What he would have given for Gintoki calling as a prank, or just to bore him to death even though he could never tire of hearing his voice, or…
Gintoki's voice was incredibly weak. But Hijikata heard him loud and clear. He was out of his seat before Gintoki finished pushing the word out of his mouth. He raced to the offices on the other side of the building, motioning for all the Shinsengumi members on his way to gather and trace Gintoki's location over the call. All the while hanging onto Gintoki's every breath.
Hijikata was hearing only rain. Whether it was coming from the outside or his phone, he couldn't tell. But he didn't hang up, even after they discovered Gintoki's location. Even after he was in the police car with Kondou driving and Sougo sitting deathly still in the backseat. Even after they reached the forest north of Edo, he held onto a sliver of hope that he would once again hear Gintoki's voice on the other side of the silent call.
The rain was pouring from the pale skies when Hijikata spotted a silver head of hair underneath a tree through the thick water curtain. He clenched his phone in his hand and ran forward, not caring for the Shinsengumi members lagging behind. He dropped to the ground next to Gintoki, finally taking in the sight of his limp body lying in front of him.
Bloody wrists and ankles still bound in broken fetters. A white yukata besmirched with watered down blood as it was slowly painted pink. His pale skin and wet hair sticking to his face. Hijikata leaned forward and pressed two fingers to Gintoki's neck. There was a pulse, albeit faint. He raised his fingers to Gintoki's nose to check for breathing. Again, though it was there, Gintoki's breath was weak.
He's alive.
If Hijikata was standing in that moment, he would've fainted on the spot after the adrenaline rush had seeped out of his body. His shuddering hands reached out for Gintoki, carefully lifting his body from the ground permeated with rain and blood.
"Careful", he heard Kondou say behind him. He turned around, almost stumbling with Gintoki in his grasp as Kondou offered to carry him instead.
Sougo just stared at Gintoki in silence.
Hijikata tightened his arms around Gintoki. "Let's go", he barely let out. He hurried towards the car, ignoring both Kondou and Sougo as he focused on putting one foot before another, cautious not to slip in the rain.
He shut the door behind him and with it finally blocked out the sound of the rain. He frantically reached for the blanket next to him in the backseat of the car and draped it around Gintoki's body. From what he had seen, his injuries were only from the chains around his wrists and ankles.
Only.
Hijikata's vision had become blurry. He tried to look down at Gintoki's serene face but he couldn't see him well. He brought one hand to his cheek to feel the warmth, the liveliness, of his skin.
Tap, tap.
Although the rain couldn't reach the inside of the car, Gintoki's cheeks had become wet as tiny droplets fell on them. Hijikata gently wiped them away, again and again, as the car moved painfully slow towards Edo.
The reason Gintoki wasn't waking up even after three days had passed was something Hijikata had never expected to hear.
"We've had cases like these before. Just not as severe", the doctor with a scar across his eye explained to Otose. "Ever since the end of the war, multiple people have suffered from overexposure to the Altana erupting from the ground. Some people are more susceptible to its effects than others. But there was nothing we could do for them other than to monitor their condition. Then…"
Hijikata distractedly listened to his words as he peered into Gintoki's hospital room through a crack in the door. It was silent, save for the beeping of the machine next to his bed. As always, he was surrounded by Kagura, Shinpachi and Sadaharu. They had all sported crestfallen expressions so much unlike their usual ones.
Gintoki lay motionless in the bed.
Beside Hijikata, Otose had erupted into a banshee like fury, her voice ringing through the empty hallway. "Isn't this a hospital!? Aren't you doctors, you good-for-nothings!? You couldn't do anything? Then what happened… what…"
Her voice faltered and Hijikata turned to look at her, surprised to see her eyes mist over with unshed tears. If Gintoki were awake, he would've probably cringed away in alarm and said something idiotic. Then Otose would've erupt at him, and it would wipe away the look on her face that made her seem older and more fragile than ever before.
"So, what you're saying is that Altana caused this? What about his other injuries, are they not connected?" Hijikata intervened, subtly offering his elbow for Otose to lean on. He felt a feather-like weight on his arm as he waited for the doctor to continue.
"As far as we know, his external injuries seem self-inflicted, save for the blow to the head. The impact wasn't severe enough to cause brain damage and induce a coma. In fact, as you've stated before, Otose-san, Sakata-san has been experiencing changes in behavior and sleep terrors following the Altana outpour? He was even admitted on a prior incident. Therefore, all the symptoms point to Altana being the root of his illness."
Hijikata felt a bolt pierce his heart.
How long was he…
The image of Gintoki's agitated face in the bar when he heard about the stalker for the first time appeared in Hijikata's mind. He should have known something was wrong from the start. How unusually overwhelmed Gintoki had seemed, yet he brushed it aside to protect himself and push his feelings deeper down his heart.
"I haven't heard anything about Altana-induced illnesses before. It isn't anything fatal, is it?" Hijikata broke the silence and the grip on his arm tightened at the question.
"Ah, yes", the doctor awkwardly answered, his glasses shining in the darkened hallway. "We have sent each patient home for recuperation. With enough rest and staying away from Altana-rich areas and objects, every single one of them recovered completely."
"Oi, why did you stop at the most ominous part before!?" This time Otose's voice was tinged with relief as she shouted in exasperation.
The doctor smiled in apology. "As soon as he shows signs of waking up, I suggest you take him home for the rest of his recovery. We have found that patients are able to recuperate much better at home than at the hospital."
"No."
Otose and the doctor both turned towards Hijikata, their eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
"Huh?" Otose crossed her arms and shot him a dirty look. "Listen here. I only let you hear the doctor's diagnosis because Gintoki has the hots for you. Don't go ruining all of that now, you understand?"
"That's not what I meant, ba… Otose-san." For some odd reason, his palms started sweating and he had to fight the urge to wipe them on his pants. "I'm taking him with me to the Shinsengumi Headquarters. It's better than the Kabukicho district since it's farther away from the Terminal. And… for protection."
So that no one can lay their filthy hands on you again, Gintoki.
Otose's mouth formed a little o, her eyes wide, as she studied his face before she nodded in agreement. Her lips stretched in a smile of relief. "Alright. But don't think for a second that I won't come check up on him whenever I want. Always keep the gates open for me, you hear?"
Hijikata smirked as he thought about gaining a new smoking buddy. The smile was swiftly wiped off his face when he whirled around in bewilderment, what she had said moments before finally registering in his mind. "How… how did you know that Gintoki…?" Has the hots for me!?
Otose smiled knowingly as she turned towards Gintoki's room. She slid the door open and glanced over her shoulder. "You were the last one to realize, you dimwitted fool."
And then she closed the door right in front of Hijikata's dumbfounded face.
Tch. Those kids… Kagura and Shinpachi probably told baba everything that ever happened between Gintoki and him. He had enough on his plate dealing with Sougo and Kondou's antics. And now he was going to deal with those menaces as well for the rest of his life?
Wait…
The thought formed all too easily in his mind. Spending his days surrounded by a rowdy bunch, with the one he held dear right next to him, glowing as brilliantly as ever. But it all came crashing down, as vicious marks bloomed on Gintoki's wrists, and he closed his eyes forever –
And once again, Hijikata felt fear constrict his chest as doubt started pooling in his mind. Would he be able to connect with someone on that level again, after Mitsuba had… Hijikata shook his head to rid himself of such thoughts. Whatever happened in the future, in the present he would focus on Gintoki getting better.
And protecting him.
The smell of pine and nicotine mixed with sunshine was the first thing Gintoki sensed waking up.
He tried opening his eyes, but for some reason it was harder than it usually was, so instead he settled back into the warmth enveloping his whole body. He felt a pleasant heat of the sun on his back and a soft warmness under his head. There was something moving along his hair and down his cheek, tenderly touching it over and over again. While it wasn't unpleasant, on the contrary it felt heavenly soothing, Gintoki forced his eyes open to swat whatever it was away.
"Knock it off – "
His hand froze in midair as he stared at Hijikata's face only inches away from his own. Hijikata's skin was bathed in the golden light of the rising sun and his metallic eyes refracted it into a million beautiful shades. His dark hair was tussled and Gintoki had to fight the urge to caress it into place.
Hijikata still hadn't stopped his fingers brushing along Gintoki's skin and all Gintoki could do was stare at him in amazement.
Am I dreaming? No, am I dead?
"You woke up. Finally."
Hijikata smiled, but Gintoki couldn't figure out whether it was a happy smile or a sad one. Or both. He frowned in confusion that soon turned into shock as he realized they were lying in a futon. Together. And Hijikata was naked –
He shot up as if struck by lightning.
Gintoki didn't dare to look back down at Hijikata and his eyes wandered around the room as he sat in the futon, trying to get his breathing under control. He then realized that this sunlit room wasn't his own and that he had no idea how he got there.
"So…" Gintoki started shakily as crimson heat climbed up over his back to his face. "Let's just forget this happened. No, let's start over. No, um, how do I say this? I'm sure your performance was great…" He weakly trailed off as he ran out of things to say. A traumatic episode with Otose started surfacing in his mind before he quickly drowned it out.
Hijikata was silent for a moment before shooting up in a similar way to Gintoki's.
"I didn't do anything!" His face blushed and his eyes quivered as he tried to keep eye contact with Gintoki.
"Oooh?" Gintoki murmured and leaned forward, his fingers covering his mouth in a mocking gesture of shock. "You don't sound like someone who did nothing."
"Oi! It was you who ripped my shirt off and forced me into bed with you! Don't you remember?" Hijikata quickly pulled the covers off to reveal the pants firmly draped around his legs. "See!? I'm still dressed!"
Hijikata's muscles gleamed in their full glory in the morning sun. His abs looked like they were sculpted out of stone and his shoulders were as wide as Gintoki had remembered from the night of the Imperial ball.
Wow.
Gintoki pried his eyes away and studied a wall across him instead. He propped his elbow on his lifted knee and rested his cheek on his palm. It was burning his fingers. "Did you eat expired mayo somewhere and dream up that fantasy?" he nervously asked. "Just admit that you wanted to be with me – "
Gintoki heard rustling of the blankets behind him and he turned to see Hijikata rising from the futon and putting his shirt and Shinsengumi jacket on.
"I'll tell the kids you woke up. They are dying to see you."
With those words, Hijikata softly slid the door shut behind him. Gintoki was confused; did his joke go too far? For some reason, Hijikata's voice had gained an icy edge, and Gintoki once again didn't know how to make any progress with their… relationship. Wasn't his text message enough?
Ah, that's right. I didn't send it. Because –
And with that realization, the memories of that day surged into his mind like a howling river. Gintoki looked down and spotted bandages circling his wrists. The proof that the night it happened wasn't a product of his nightmares. As he stared at their untainted blankness, his mind conjured up fetters once again binding his wrists. Red replaced white and his hand went up to clutch at his chest as the pain flared up inside his heart.
"Gin-san!"
Gintoki flinched at the sound of Shinpachi's voice. He turned and saw Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu all standing in the frame of the door looking as if they'd seen a ghost. He couldn't stop the smile on his face, and he beamed at their shocked faces. "Yo", he waved nonchalantly.
"YO THIS!"
Kagura rushed forward to perhaps perform some kind of a wrestling maneuver, but before she could do so Gintoki hastily put his arms forward in defense.
"Oi oi oi oi, I'm still a patient here!" he desperately wailed.
Kagura froze in the middle of her run. She and Shinpachi exchanged knowing looks before they nodded and moved to the side. Gintoki only had a brief moment of respite before he saw a fluffy ball of fur charge at him, woofing happily as he jumped in the air.
"NO – "
It was too late. Gintoki was buried under Sadaharu's soft fur gleaming gold in the sun. But maybe Sadaharu was careful where he put his heavy paws, because none of them landed painfully on Gintoki's body. Gintoki stealthily rubbed Sadaharu's belly in gratitude.
Once Gintoki at last emerged from the sea of fur, what awaited him made him want to shrink right back inside. Kagura and Shinpachi's faces were overflowing with tears and each one glistened as it fell from their cheeks. Their bodies shook from restrained sobs as they stood in the room, unable to move.
"Really, you didn't think it was anything serious, right? Sometimes I just need a forceful break from carrying the burden of being the shounen protagonist, you know?" Gintoki smirked and shrugged. "You can cry out whatever burdens you carry yourselves. Ha", he sighed and spread his arms wide, "I'll even lend you my arms to help with it. It's the Yorozuya way, isn't it?"
Shinpachi and Kagura couldn't hold it in any longer and they scrambled towards Gintoki's futon, throwing themselves at him. Their hands gripped at the front of his yukata and they sobbed loudly, their tears soaking the cloth. Gintoki sensed a weight settle on his shoulders and head and felt Sadaharu's whine reverberate through his body.
This is what home feels like, huh?
He raised one hand upwards to scratch Sadaharu's fur before resting each palm on Kagura and Shinpachi's heads, gently stroking their hair. He did that for a long time, battling against the comforting warmness surrounding him that made his eyes flutter in contentment.
He smiled as their sobs dwindled to quiet hiccups.
This is where I belong.
Gintoki felt like he was being interrogated for a crime he didn't commit.
He was sitting in a darkened room with the only source of dim light being a small window in the upper corner. The lightbulb above the long wooden table before him flickered uselessly. While the room didn't have a two-sided mirror, he still felt an unease as if he was being watched. Maybe the feeling stemmed from Hijikata, Sougo and Kondou standing across from him and staring down at him like hawks diving for their prey.
But before Gintoki could voice his complaints, Shinpachi piped up in an unusual non-straight-man-like behavior. "What's with this room? Are you seriously taking statements here? You might as well tell me Kondou-san will stop bothering Ane-ue from now on."
Kondou cried out. "Shinpachi-kun!"
"Are you sure we didn't stumble into this sadist's dungeon, gorilla?" Kagura pointed an accusatory finger at Sougo. "This was all your sick idea, wasn't it?"
As Gintoki sat in one of the only two chairs available in the room, Kagura and Shinpachi stood behind him like his personal bodyguards with their chests puffed out and chins protruding in a not so intimidating fashion. Sadaharu wanted to follow them inside, but because of his size he was forced to stand guard at the door and he only rumbled pitifully.
Kondou didn't even have a chance to prove he wasn't a gorilla as Sougo responded in disgust. "Don't insult me, ogress. My dungeon isn't nearly as plain as this."
…So why am I here exactly?
After he had woken up at the Shinsengumi Headquarters and Kagura, Shinpachi and Sadaharu had finally calmed down, he was brought an abundant feast for breakfast on a tray. As soon as he saw food in front of him, Gintoki wolfed it down without even thinking of what he was putting in his mouth. By noon, when he had recovered from the food-induced coma, he was asked to join the Shinsengumi trio in giving his testimony of the events that occurred five days ago.
Five days had already passed.
Gintoki's heart throbbed dully, and he couldn't stop his hand absentmindedly reaching for his chest. The longer that pain lingered, the more he thought that something had changed. And that change was not a thing that could be undone by Aya's bazooka. It was an irrevocable deed, a scar unto his heart that he would carry forever.
Gintoki raised his gaze when he realized the room went dead quiet. All eyes were glued to the offending hand laid over his heart. He quickly lowered it and casually leaned back in his chair. "Ready when you are."
A heavy silence enveloped the room. Ah, look at them walking on eggshells around me. While he would milk the situation on any other occasion, now Gintoki couldn't take it any longer.
"Since the police apparently can't do their jobs anymore, I'll start", Gintoki said annoyed. "The day started when Sou-kun saved me from Hedoro – "
Hijikata was in the middle of pulling out the chair across from Gintoki when he whipped his head upwards. "Ha? Who the hell is Sou-kun!?"
"And then we met Kamui – "
"Baka-aniki?" Kagura hunched over to Gintoki's eye level as she fired off her questions in his ear. "Why? What did he want? What did he say?"
"And then I saw Kagura – "
Shinpachi thoughtfully hummed. "How? As far as I can remember, Kagura-chan spent the day at our house."
"Oi…" Gintoki rumbled as various voices piped up with their own testimonies. "Do you mind letting me finish one sentence?"
Everyone promptly shut up with almost guilty looks on their faces. But now that he had all the peace in the world to continue, Gintoki somehow found it hard to. What was he supposed to say? That he was tortured? Even though it felt like it, he didn't think it was their primary goal. As he mulled over the dilemma in his head, Hijikata's fingers lightly brushed across his. He didn't even realize his hand was one the table, but it helped him forget the cracking ache in his chest for a bit.
And so he told them about seeing Kagura.
About getting hit on the head.
How he ended up in a moonlit room.
When his stalker and Pineapple appeared.
The way his stalker had morphed into the blonde First Celestial Order Knight.
How the knight grabbed the bazooka and shot it at him.
…
How Ren broke his chains and killed the knight.
And finally, when he broke out the window and escaped.
"Then I called you and… Well, you know the rest better than me."
Gintoki found it amusing how easy it was listing the events that transpired in such a mechanical, clearcut way. It was almost as if it happened to someone else and he was retelling the story.
"…What did they want from you?" Hijikata asked.
Gintoki stared up at the flickering lightbulb and frowned as he tried to recall the words the blonde knight and Ren had said. "Well, the blonde guy blabbered about doing what's best for me? And how the Emperor understood him? And he told Ren… what was it…" He rubbed his forehead trying to remember. "Ah! Breaking the seal. That's what it was – "
It dawned on him at last. What was done to him five days ago. As if on cue, Katsura's words emerged in his mind. The Empire's ambition isn't focused on Earth. It's merely a side goal. The reason they came here is… "Because of me."
Gintoki locked eyes with Hijikata as he came to the realization that maybe he was the one responsible for this whole mess with the Empire. Hijikata was staring back at him, a storm brewing in his eyes as he bitingly asked, "Because of you? What does that mean?"
"Just something that Zura said." And he didn't say everything. There's more.
Hijikata frowned. "Why didn't you tell us? Didn't we agree we'll share information between us?" With each word, his voice grew more strained and his eyes pierced the air between them like a lightning bolt during a thunderstorm. Gintoki noticed Sougo giving him a similar, surly look behind Hijikata.
Kondou appeared utterly lost as he glanced between them.
"I forgot", Gintoki sighed and shrugged. And it was true. Besides the short moment with Ren on the Imperial ship, Katsura's words have truly escaped his memory.
"How could you forget something like that!?" More than angry, Hijikata sounded hurt.
How could he? The mental fatigue of constant nightmares. The impending doom he always felt looming over him. The charade he had to keep up at the Imperial ball. The bombing on the ship and searching for Kagura, Shinpachi and Aya. Losing Aya.
And among all these reasons… There is you.
Gintoki slammed his hands on the table and stood up, the chair jarringly scraping against the floor. "I have to meet up with him."
"You're not going anywhere." Hijikata stood up as well and crossed his arms across his chest. "Who knows what kind of lunatic might jump you next time and…" he trailed off weakly.
Kondou cut in. "Toshi's right, Yorozuya. You take your time recovering and leave that terro… Katsura to us." He slapped his hand on Hijikata's shoulder and barked out a laugh. "Right, Toshi?"
Gintoki smirked. "You don't expect him to waltz right into the police station, do you?" He rounded the table and put his hand on the doorknob, fleeing the losing battle with the Shinsengumi. "Ha, suit yourselves. I'll meet him one way or another. Let's go – "
He turned back to call for Shinpachi and Kagura, but they must've not heard him, because they hadn't moved an inch from the spot. They both seemed in a daze; Kagura with a downcast gaze and clenched fists and Shinpachi staring at the empty chair beside him.
I should've made them leave the room.
"Patsuan, Kagura!"
They flinched at the call, their eyes darting around as they pushed past him and fled the room. Before they could get far, however, Gintoki swiftly reached out and pulled on both of their collars. "We need to talk."
"Another time, Gin-chan!" Kagura wiggled out of his grasp and ran off, her feet thumping lightly on the wooden floorboards. Sadaharu bounded after her in a heavier fashion.
Gintoki sighed and ruffled his hair with his free hand as he looked down on the one he did manage to capture. "It's just the two of us now, Shinpachi."
Shinpachi was giving him a small, guilty smile back. "It is, Gin-san."
A withered tree stood out like a sore thumb in the middle of the yard.
Gintoki and Shinpachi sat on the engawa surrounding the empty courtyard. As the afternoon sun shone on the cracked bark of the giant tree and the wind rustled its creaking branches, Gintoki leaned on the wooden pillar and basked in the sound. His previously erratic thoughts calmed as he waited for Shinpachi to begin talking. His eyes almost fluttered shut, but Shinpachi's voice woke him from the oncoming sleep.
"Gin-san, are we weak?"
The question shook Gintoki out of his stupor and he banged his head on the wooden beam. "Huh? You and Kagura, weak? Where did that come from?" he asked as he massaged the bump on his head.
As he looked to the side, he noticed Shinpachi clutching the siler watch Aya had gifted him in his fingers. "We're not dependable enough, are we?" Shinpachi choked up as he stared down in his lap. "You've been suffering alone all this time but we couldn't do anything for you. Just watch from the sidelines. Even with my family scroll, I wasn't of any help to you. And with Aya-san… Why did you have to go alone? It's because we're weak. If even you failed to bring them back, then we wouldn't have stood a chance."
Gintoki was wide-eyed and silent for a moment before his shoulders started shaking and small chuckles began erupting from his mouth. Shinpachi whirled around at the sound when Gintoki couldn't hold his laughter back any longer.
"What… what's so funny?" Shinpachi grumbled and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Ah… hahaha… sorry…" Gintoki gasped and waved his hand apologetically. "You said you were weak? Since when? Nobody informed me."
"Gin-san!"
Gintoki put his hand on top of Shinpachi's hair and looked him dead in his eyes. "I don't think you're weak, Shinpachi. Not you nor Kagura. But just because you're strong, doesn't mean you're not allowed to have your weak moments. I have mine all the time. Any you know what I always have in those moments? You. I was never alone, ever since I've met you. Just being with you gives me the strength to live the way I want. And it has nothing to do with you being strong or weak. It's because it is you, Shinpachi. And the same goes for Kagura. And Sadaharu", he added begrudgingly as he let go of Shinpachi and stretched. "Aaah, young ones these days really all want to be superheroes, huh? I guess that's what's trendy today. And here I am trying my hardest to be the unnoticeable sidekick…"
…Did I get my message across?
He peeked sideways at Shinpachi and caught a small smile on his sunshine illuminated face. "You, a sidekick? As if any hero would want such a lazy one."
Gintoki snorted. "Right. And just so you know, I haven't given up on Aya. I still have that Gengai's bill for the bazooka repair that they need to cover… So even if I have to track them down across the universe, I'll find them."
I'll help you and your brother reunite, Aya. After all, that's what your commission was really about, right?
They spent some time in a comfortable silence as the courtyard grew more golden by each passing second. Gintoki stealthily threw glances sideways, checking whether Shinpachi had cornered himself into dark thoughts once again. He yelped in surprise when Shinpachi suddenly turned to him with a newly lit fire burning in his eyes.
"I have not once regretted the day I met you, Gin-san. No, I should say I've been grateful ever since. Which is why I'll spend both my weak and strong days right by your side and be your strength. Because you do that for me, too."
Gintoki had to hide the warmness spreading to his ears, so he hastily put Shinpachi in a headlock and messed up his hair. "Ah, is my Shinpachi-kun growing up? Are you finally ready to leave all of your Otsu-chan collection behind as you embark on the path to adulthood – "
"Never! This and that are very different things, Gin-san!"
Their laughter rang out in the courtyard and the joyful sound reached the furthest parts of the Shinsengumi Headquarters. Even the ones where soft sobs buried themselves in Sadaharu's soft fur.
For the entire day after Gintoki awoke, Hijikata couldn't remove the image of Gintoki sleeping in his arms out of his mind.
The night before, as Hijikata prepared to lay him down in the futon, Gintoki had grabbed onto his arm and planted his cheek right into Hijikata's palm. He murmured in satisfaction as his grip strengthened and he rubbed his face on Hijikata's fingers. Gintoki's once sickly skin gained an inner, healthy glow and his pained frown disappeared like snow melting on a sunny day.
Hijikata didn't dare move as his heart beat stronger with each second. The moonlight spilling into the room glittered on Gintoki's skin and hair and all Hijikata could do was stare down at him in wonder. Gintoki appeared completely different than when he had found him in the forest under the rain and Hijikata smiled in relief.
However, the smile was soon wiped off his face when Gintoki stirred and stared up at him with half-lidded eyes, reaching up to caress Hijikata's face.
"More", he mumbled as if he hadn't yet woken from his sleep, "I want more." His fingers travelled down his neck and stopped at the collar of Hijikata's shirt, tugging at it in a weak effort to open it. "Move", he frowned up at Hijikata's shirt, as if the shirt was sentient and getting in his way on purpose.
"Oi, oi, oi, what – " Hijikata's voice was panicked and he gulped as the trail of Gintoki's fingers burned his skin. "Gintoki, what do you want?"
Gintoki glanced at him and… pouted? Hijikata's mind was swimming, melting into useless goo. "I want more of you." His husky voice reached the deepest parts of Hijikata's body.
Damn it. Hijikata's fingers shook with want as he reached up and pulled off his cravat. As he tried to unbutton his shirt, Gintoki's merciless tugging got in his way and before Hijikata could stop him, his buttons popped off in a quick succession, bouncing off his body. However, Hijikata didn't even have the time to bemoan his ruined shirt when Gintoki groggily sat up and brushed his fingers across Hijikata's neck. Gintoki's hands rested there as he closed the distance between them and whispered over Hijikata's lips, peering up at him through his eyelashes. "Give me more?"
"Gintoki, don't. We can't…" Hijikata started pulling away at Gintoki's hands. He didn't want anything to happen like this. He did imagine it dozens of times, but each time Gintoki's eyes would be clear with desire, instead of muddled and unfocused like they were now. The thought instantly cleared his jumbled brain as he gripped Gintoki's face with both hands and somberly looked at him. "We won't do anything tonight, Gintoki. And not until you get completely better."
Gintoki's face between his fingers brightened up and bloomed into a beautiful smile. His fingers caged his own and he pressed them closer into his skin. "This feels nice", Gintoki hummed as his eyes closed in serenity.
What? So all he wanted was more skin contact? Then… Hijikata wanted to punch himself. What kind of idiotic thoughts was he having? He sighed in relief as he once again laid Gintoki down, his fingers still cupped over his cheeks. "Let go", he chuckled as Gintoki's grip over his fingers only got stronger. "I'll make us both more comfortable, so just let go for now."
Gintoki's eyes fluttered open as he watched Hijikata's every move, like he didn't believe his words. Hijikata took his jacket off and slid the sleeves of his ruined shirt down his arms. His skin warmed in embarrassment as Gintoki stared up at him in silence. "What is it?" he grumbled.
"Wow", Gintoki whispered, his eyes wide in amazement. "You're hot."
I'm in trouble. Hijikata was grateful for the fact that Gintoki usually had some semblance of a filter, because if this were to become a common occurrence, Hijikata's brain would explode and become a mush. He couldn't keep a proud smile off his face as he lifted Gintoki's head off the pillow and slid his arm underneath.
"Here, is that better?"
Gintoki's cheek was adorably squished against Hijikata's bicep. "Better" he murmured and reached for Hijikata's face, giving it a light tap before his eyelashes trembled and his eyes closed.
Hijikata breathed out in what seemed like forever. He closed his eyes after making sure that the blanket covered all of Gintoki's body and waited for sleep to overtake his senses.
He waited. And waited.
Instead of feeling more tired, Hijikata had become more awake with each labored breath he took, his heart thundering as if he had a coffee and energy drink cocktail before going to bed. The blood that rushed through his body didn't quiet and only rampaged like an enraged bull. Hijikata opened his eyes in alarm. Gintoki was still asleep, his breathing even and strong. And while he looked dazzling in the moonlight, like he always did, Hijikata didn't feel a desire to do anything more than just stare at him forever. At least I'm not a pervert.
So if he wasn't… aroused, what was happening to his body? This sudden bout of energy he gained reminded him of a few weeks ago on the balcony in front of the Yorozuya office, when Gintoki's fingers stroked Hijikata's hair and obliterated his tiredness.
I'll have to ask him when he wakes up.
And yet when the time came, all he could do was scamper out of the futon and out the door when faced with Gintoki's sharp gaze. Still, Hijikata had to at least try to explain what had happened. Not only to find the cause of Gintoki's strange behavior, but to protect him as well. After all, what could Gintoki do if the same thing happened with someone who isn't Hijikata, someone with bad intentions just like that damned stalker. Which was why he stood in front of Gintoki's room with his hand raised in the air and ready to knock.
Any second now.
"Knock."
"AH!"
Hijikata jumped at the voice and whirled around, ready to escape the ghost or demon or whatever it was, but it was just Sougo stifling a yawn behind him. I wasn't far off, then. As soon as he got his breathing under control, he furiously whispered, "Are you trying to kill me, you bastard!?"
"Are you really asking me that, Hijikata-bastard?" Sougo rolled his eyes and pushed past him to open the door to Gintoki's room.
"Wait – " Hijikata tried to stop him, but it was too late. He stumbled into the room after Sougo and got ready to apologize to Gintoki for the intrusion. However, instead of Gintoki's usual indignant complaining, what he found was a scene that forced his heart to stutter in elation.
As the day slipped into late afternoon, the rays of golden sunlight made their way into the room and illuminated Gintoki's peaceful face resting on Sadaharu's fur, his hands clutching onto it as soft puffs of breathing broke through the serene silence. Gintoki was sitting up and Sadaharu supported his upper body, serving as a giant fluffy pillow. Sadaharu's ears sometimes twitched in contentment and his tail swished to circle Gintoki like a cozy blanket.
Hijikata's face warmed at the sight; he was afraid to even blink as if the movement would shatter the tranquil moment into a million shards of broken glass. He must've been cursed at one point in his life, because why was he so afraid of being with someone he yearned for so much? He turned to Sougo, wanting to leave Gintoki to his well-deserved rest, but Sougo had other plans as he stood with the phone in his hand pointed towards the sleeping duo.
"Did you… did you just take a picture?" Hijikata hissed at him and glanced back at Gintoki, careful not to wake him. "Delete it right now."
Sougo took yet another. "Don't want to."
"Oi – " Hijikata lowered his voice in alarm. "Are you a demon!? How can you take advantage of someone who's recovering?"
"Hmmm…" Sougo hummed as he stared at his phone. "Just think about it, Hijikata-bastard. When are you going to get another chance to see danna like this? Never, right? Take a photo while you can."
He's a devil sitting on my shoulder. "Why… why don't you just send me the one you took already?" Hijikata caved in all too easily.
Sougo smirked at his shaky voice. "As if. Aah, the feel of this photo is great", he murmured in satisfaction as he flashed the photograph in front of Hijikata's face. And he was right. The picture felt more precious than a hundred golden tickets to the Mayorin. Before Hijikata could realize what he was doing, he already pointed his own phone camera towards the sleeping Gintoki.
"Do it", he heard Sougo's devious whisper as his eyes swam and his finger trembled over the photo button. He stared at the Gintoki napping on the screen of his phone. How his eyelashes trembled and his eyes opened.
And how they zeroed in on his camera.
Huh?
"What are you doing?"
Hijikata froze. Gintoki groggily lifted his head from Sadaharu's body, his silver locks sticking in every direction as he squinted in confusion. Sadaharu started growling as his fur stood up and he eyed Hijikata and Sougo like they were his chewing toys come to life.
"Danna, I tried stopping this pervert", Sougo flatly said as he pointed an accusatory finger at Hijikata, his own phone safely tucked away. "But I failed."
"You!" Hijikata wanted to protest, but Gintoki's scrutinizing gaze was enough to shut him up. He was, after all, caught in the act. He guiltily turned towards Gintoki and offered him his phone. "'M sorry. Here, you can check it to see I didn't take any."
Sadaharu charged forward and almost bit Hijikata's hand off before Gintoki pulled Sadaharu back and held him around his neck. "Sheesh, you made him grumpy when you woke him up."
…I don't think that's it.
"So, did you come here to waste my time or…?" Gintoki looked at both of them as he stroked Sadaharu's fur.
"Right." Hijikata flexed his spared hand and continued. "We have to talk. About what's happening to you." He glanced at Sougo and waved him off. "Alone."
"Huh, whatever you say, you can say in front of me. Danna and I are very close", Sougo put the emphasis on the word as he sat down beside Gintoki and Sadaharu and gave Hijikata a triumphant glance. Sadaharu threateningly growled at him and Sougo shot back with a menacing glare.
Hijikata huffed in irritation. "Since when!?"
Sougo started counting on his fingers. "I have danna's yukata, I went on an outing with danna, I saved danna from two monsters in one day – "
"I want that yukata back, Sou-kun", Gintoki interjected, his expression annoyed.
"I'll bring you one of my Shinsengumi jackets and then we'll call it even."
"Why would I want your tacky jacket!?"
Hijikata looked at the two bicker in surprise. He realized why he felt an unsettling air around Sougo ever since they've found Gintoki and the meaning behind his aching stares pointed Gintoki's way. The brat got attached. Hijikata ruffled his hair to rid himself of a strange prickling feeling on his skin and sat down on the sun-warmed tatami. "Here's what the doc said."
As Hijikata related the doctor's words to Gintoki, he watched his expression morph from curiosity into reluctant understanding. Gintoki massaged the back of his neck and stared down at the floor, deep in thought. But Hijikata wasn't done. "Was there ever a time you felt… you needed to do something?"
Sougo and Gintoki both gave him blank stares. Hijikata coughed and continued, "What I meant was… did you ever seek physical contact? And forget about it?" He barely squeezed the questions out his mouth. Hijikata truly expected Gintoki to give him another dull look, yet this time Gintoki nodded eagerly.
"Actually, Tatsuma told me I hugged him at the festival. But the last thing I remember was seeing him on the hill. Why do you ask?"
I see, so they aren't…
"Last night, what happened was…" Hijikata couldn't make himself continue. "Well, you did something similar to me. And one time before." He recounted the time they'd spent on the balcony before the festival.
"Did I really do that?" Gintoki whispered looking horrified. "Ugh, my bad", he grimaced.
Hijikata frowned. "I didn't bring this up because I was bothered by it. I actually think it has something to do with your Altana illness." He looked Gintoki dead in the eyes and firmly asked, "Will you let me test that theory?"
As the sun rose in the crisp morning air and lit up the lonesome giant tree, Hijikata impatiently paced around the empty courtyard, mulling over what had happened only moments before.
Kagura and Shinpachi waited for him in the corridor on his way to the courtyard. They both sported determined expressions and Hijikata got the sinking feeling that they were up to no good. "What is it?" he gruffly asked.
"Hijikata-san", Shinpachi said in a serious tone that had taken Hijikata aback. "Please leave Katsura-san to us and focus on protecting Gin-san."
"Ha?" While Hijikata had to admit that was not a half-bad idea, he still had to put his foot down. He crossed his arms and sternly looked at them. "It's too dangerous. Who knows if you'll be targeted as well", his gaze lingered shortly on Kagura, "after all, they know too much about you."
Kagura had probably noticed what he meant to say because she quickly mumbled out, "Take care of Gin-chan for us, V-banged jerk."
Shit, I messed up. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. After a few moments of contemplating, he finally gave in. "Fine. But take these", he reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out two brand new phones. "Message me every hour, alright? And be careful."
Their eyes shined as they swiped the phones from his hands. I'll ask Yamazaki to keep an eye on them.
And there he was, kicking the gravel under his feet as he doubted the decision of letting them go. What if something happened to Kagura and Shinpachi? Sure, they had to find Katsura as fast as possible and both of them had a way better chance than the Shinsengumi, but not at their expense. He bit his bottom lip in worry.
"I hope you won't force the Kyokuchuu Hatto on me during these morning trainings."
Hijikata hastily turned around and his eyes widened in shock. Gintoki had to stop appearing and torturing his heart like this. He wore his usual black outfit with his bokuto hanging at his hip as he languidly rested one hand on the inside of his white yukata. His face was relaxed in a dazzling smile and as he approached Hijikata, he noticed even his silver eyelashes sparkle in the sun.
"I'll make an exception for you", Hijikata mumbled out as he tried to keep his blush at bay. "How did you sleep?"
Gintoki sighed mournfully. "It was lonely."
You think I could survive another night with you!? "Anyways… just to let you know, Kagura and Shinpachi left half an hour ago to find Katsura."
Hijikata studied Gintoki's face, but he appeared unphased by his words. "Is that so? Well, I guess we should get on with your training, then." He lightly stretched his arms as he looked around the empty yard. "I've been meaning to ask, what did you plan to do for training? I hope it's not swordsmanship. No offense."
"None taken", Hijikata grunted and stepped towards Gintoki, pleased to see him flinch at the sudden closeness. "Give me your hands."
Gintoki raised an eyebrow. "This isn't some kink of yours or – "
"Just do it."
"Fine", Gintoki relented and put his hands forward, his palms facing down. "Huh. Is it sad that this isn't the weirdest training I've done?"
Hijikata rolled his eyes. "How do you feel?"
"Peachy." Gintoki put on a smile that crumbled under Hijikata's probing gaze. "There's this weird feeling in my chest ever since I got shot. It sometimes flares up", he said and raised one hand to massage the spot.
"When does it disappear?" Hijikata raised his hands in a similar fashion to Gintoki, with his palms turned up and under Gintoki's, inches apart.
Gintoki gazed down at their almost touching hands. "When I'm with Sadaharu. It also helped when you… When you touched me in that creepy interrogation room. Though that time it didn't disappear completely." The tips of his ears reddened.
"So it is physical touch." As Gintoki looked at him in confusion, Hijikata continued. "Do you feel that pain now?"
"…Yes."
Hijikata frowned at the fact that the pain helped prove his theory. "Okay. Now, no matter what it feels like, try to not touch my hands for as long as you can. Can you do that?"
"That's it?" Gintoki smirked in ridicule. "And you call that training. The Shinsengumi sure are lax. You want me to help change that?"
This handsome bastard. Hijikata feared that if Gintoki were to lead the training, the Shinsengumi members wouldn't get much training done."Right, it would be such an honor to receive special guidance by the legendary Shiroyasha", he taunted him back. Though in the back of his mind, he was elated at the thought of sparring with such a genius with the blade like Gintoki.
Before Gintoki could quip back, he grimaced in discomfort. "Ugh, it's starting." His hands quivered above Hijikata's, and Hijikata had to gather all of his strength not to clutch at Gintoki's hands. But he didn't need to, because in the next moment Gintoki's hands desperately held onto Hijikata's. He raised his eyes in alarm and what awaited him was Gintoki's familiar face full of contentment. "Aah, I like this."
Just like before. Hijikata didn't let go of Gintoki's hands and he patiently waited for Gintoki to awaken from the daze. As he watched his silver hair glint in the gentle wind, Hijikata realized this training would be the death of him. Was he a teenager? Why would a bit of hand-holding be such a big deal to him? And yet there it was again; a burst of energy forcing his heart to pump blood faster and stronger.
Physical touch helped ease Gintoki's pain and in turn invigorated the one he was touching. Is it energy? But how was Gintoki able to manipulate it in this way? There were so many missing pieces to this puzzle that Hijikata couldn't even see its outline. He only hoped Katsura's arrival would solve a part of the mystery.
"Ah!" Gintoki's surprised yell woke him from his musings and Gintoki pulled his hands away like they were burnt. He looked down at them, betrayed. "What the hell… I really can't remember."
Hijikata sighed and raised his hands once more. "You lasted three seconds."
"Ha? Can't you phrase it differently? It sounds like I was – "
"Again."
Their hand-holding training continued for another four days. Not only did they practice in the mornings, but in the afternoons and evenings as well. Which meant that Hijikata spent almost all day with Gintoki.
He couldn't tell whether he was in heaven or hell. On one hand, he was with Gintoki and he had the luxury of staring at him and holding him all day long. On the other hand, the constant flow of energy meant that his body was buzzing with excess vivacity. Since he didn't feel the need to sleep, he spent the restless nights training with a sword or going over the policework he was behind on.
And thinking about Gintoki.
On the fourth day of training, Gintoki managed to hold out for a whole half an hour without grasping at Hijikata's hands.
"Amazing." Hijikata was shocked at Gintoki's progress. For some reason he thought the time wouldn't extend by much. However, the problem was the next part of the training; Gintoki controlling the flow of energy once they did touch.
Hijikata gazed at Gintoki's face scrunched up in concentration, his eyes closed as his grip on Hijikata grew stronger. His forehead grew damp with sweat as his eyelashes tremored in exertion. However, after a few minutes have trickled by, Gintoki's expression relaxed and his eyes fluttered open.
"Mmm", he hummed and leaned forwards.
Hijikata smiled in defeat as he circled one hand around Gintoki's waist, the other one still holding onto Gintoki's fingers. "Good job."
He felt Gintoki lean his head on his shoulder and braced for his weight when he fell asleep, but it never came. They just stood in silence as the shouts of the Shinsengumi members training rang in the distance. After a while, he felt Gintoki shift and gently pry himself away from his body. He looked almost disappointed in himself. His eyes didn't meet Hijikata's and focused on the next closest thing; the withered tree.
"What's up with this thing? I know a guy who could probably help."
Hijikata looked at the tree and shook his head. "There's no one who could help after Kondou botched taking care of it. And to think it was a gift from an Amanto emissary…"
Gintoki mirthfully laughed and tenderly gazed back at him. "I knew it wasn't you. You're so meticulous it's bordering on concerning."
"Me?" Hijikata pointed at himself, caught off guard by Gintoki's comment.
"Yeah, you. I know that gorilla commander of yours is the glue that keeps you together, but Hijikata, you're like the blank paper where those pieces can come together in the first place. You make all of this possible. And not just anyone could do that."
Gintoki's eyes wrinkled as he smiled at him.
I love you.
Why couldn't he just say the words? He hated the fact that his mouth didn't move as he continued to stare at Gintoki in absolute adoration, each passing second of his silence cutting deep into his heart. Gintoki already gave him all the chances he could, yet when it was his time to deliver, he didn't.
"How's your pervy training going?"
The next day at the Shinsengumi Headquarters, as dusk melted into night, Hijikata was ambushed by Sougo who was leaning on a wooden beam with his hands in his pockets and a seemingly bored expression on his face. Hijikata rolled his eyes and ignored him as he passed him by, but Sougo deftly blocked his way.
"How long are you going to keep this up?"
Hijikata grumbled in irritation. "I think Gintoki reached his limit, so for now we're stopping – "
"You know that's not what I'm talking about." Sougo stepped forward as his eyes grew colder. "I get you moping around like a lost puppy, but don't drag danna into it. He… He doesn't deserve to get the same treatment as Ane-ue."
Hijikata's body grew hot in rage and guilt as he grabbed Sougo's collar. "Why are you bringing Mitsuba into this?" He felt hot stings of tears behind his eyes as he said her name.
Sougo slapped his arms away and grinned miserably, his hands sagging in defeat. "He reminds me of my sister. She was lonely like him. And she suffered because of you, in the same way danna is now." The weak smile disappeared from his face, replaced by a murderous glint in his eyes. "But that's as far as they go. They're two different people and it's time you start treating them that way."
Since when was Sougo of all people so intuitive? Hijikata was lost for words. "What… why…" he uselessly stuttered.
"Don't think for a second that I want you to be happy with danna." Sougo devilishly grinned. "Knowing you two, you'll make each other miserable for the rest of your lives. And that's the next best thing after taking the Vice-Commander position from you."
Sougo… aren't you just helping me out right now?
Hijikata stifled a smile and grinned back. "I've survived this long. You're getting rusty, Sou-kun." Before Sougo bristled at the name and pulled his sword out to hack him into pieces, Hijikata swiftly planted a hand on his hair and messed it up roughly. "Thanks."
To think all he needed was a little push from the most unexpected place. Hijikata fled the area before Sougo really made Vice-Commander as his mind felt clearer than ever before.
He had to find Gintoki.
Hijikata didn't have to search far. His legs took him to the place where he always saw Gintoki these days, under the dried-up branches of the colossal tree. The closer he got, the more clearly he heard the sound of swords strokes whizzing through the night air. He rounded a corner and rested one hand on the pillar as his heart beat loudly in tandem with his breathing.
He was brought back to the night of the performance, when Gintoki sliced the surface of the liquid moonlight at his feet and captured the heart of everyone present by guiding the silvery blade through the air. Now, instead of the rich backdrop of rosy blossoms or the water mirroring his figure, there was only a lonesome, barren tree and dark engawa surrounding Gintoki as he once again carried out his sword dance.
It was so much more precious.
Because it was only Gintoki's dance and only for Hijikata's eyes. Because it was pure and silent, yet Hijikata could imagine a melody swirling around each of Gintoki's movements. His locks bounced around his face following the rhythm of the imaginary song, freely shimmering in the moonlight. His white yukata billowed around his body with each of his turns and swings like gentle waves of a glinting ocean. And his face… Hijikata swore on his life right in the moment that nothing in the whole universe would ever come close to its ethereal beauty. His eyes carried an inner spark that would so often ignite a fire inside others, spurring them onto doing the unimaginable, and his lips were spread into a serene smile that rarely graced his face in the presence of others.
Gintoki looked happy and at peace.
Hijikata's heart clenched at the sight. He didn't want to disturb his moonlit dance, like throwing a stone onto a perfectly still surface of a lake and creating ripples, so he sat down on the engawa to admire the brushes of Gintoki's sword that etched themselves forever into his mind.
"Hijikata?"
All too soon, Gintoki stopped and called out to him, his voice breathless and his eyes avoiding him.
It's now or never.
"Ah, this?" Gintoki looked down at the bokuto clenched between his fingers. "I'm practicing my swordsmanship, I can't get out of shape, you know…"
Hijikata stood up and rushed forward to grasp Gintoki's shoulders. Gintoki's eyes widened in shock at his boldness, but before he could say anything, Hijikata interrupted him. "I'm bewitched, Gintoki. I've been for a long time. Ever since I've first crossed swords with you. I can't take my eyes off you whenever you're in front of me, and I can't stop thinking about you whenever you're not." He slid his hand down Gintoki's shoulder to take his fingers into his own and held it above his heart. "I can't remember the last time my heart didn't beat like crazy and the last time I've had a peace of mind. But I don't regret it one bit. The fact that it beats only for you, the one who's my polar opposite and my other half makes me the happiest man in this universe."
The heart under Gintoki's hand was choking out his words, but he had to say them. Gintoki had to know. And as he stared into Gintoki's stunned eyes, his hand shaking over Gintoki's, he confessed.
"I love you, Sakata Gintoki."
His mind blanked out as the words left his mouth. Now that it was over, what was he supposed to do? As coherent thoughts tried to pry their way inside his frayed mind, Hijikata felt a gentle breath on his lips. It dawned on him that Gintoki's lips were inches apart from his and as he stared in shock at them, Gintoki blissfully smiled.
"There you go."
And then Gintoki closed the thin distance between them.
The kiss was soft, so unlike Gintoki. But Hijikata felt like millions of fireworks went off in dazzling bursts of color in his chest and brain as he soaked in the tender touch resting on his lips. He finally closed his eyes and returned the kiss, deepening it as he brushed his tongue over Gintoki's lips. Gintoki slightly opened his mouth and Hijikata took the chance to push his tongue inside and touch Gintoki's.
A muffled moan broke out of Gintoki's mouth. Hijikata only paused the kiss to put one hand on the back of Gintoki's head and the other on the small of his back. He guided Gintoki backwards until he rested against the bark of the dried tree and leaned forward into another kiss, this one followed by a heated storm brewing in his abdomen. Gintoki's arms circled his neck and his fingers buried themselves in his hair. Hijikata couldn't stop shivering as he slid his knee between Gintoki's legs and pushed both their bodies closer, eliciting another moan and a shudder from Gintoki.
He suddenly felt Gintoki's hands fall from his shoulders and he opened his eyes in alarm, backing away. I went too fast, didn't I? I'm such an idiot.
However, what awaited him was Gintoki dazed out of his mind, a blush heating his face and his mouth still partly open. Both his palms rested against the cracked crust of the tree as he leaned his head back and exposed his muscular neck.
"Gintoki, are you okay?"
As Hijikata reached for him, a glow brighter than the moonlight shone down on Gintoki's face. Hijikata frowned in confusion that soon turned into shock as he stared up into the branches of the dead tree.
…It's alive.
The bluish petals blossomed right before his eyes, filling up the sky above them in an unearthly glow. The smell of fresh flowers descended on the lit-up courtyard that Hijikata hadn't felt in years, since the tree was first planted here. He caught one of the falling petals and held it in his hand.
It was warm.
He raised his gaze and stared at Gintoki, his eyes wide as he tried to make sense of what just happened.
Gintoki tilted his head and smiled back at him.
I must hurry.
Katsura rushed after Kagura and Shinpachi, following them to the heinous Shinsengumi Headquarters as the moonless skies hung menacingly over their heads. He didn't care about the possibility of his freedom being stripped away. He was only concerned about a certain dead-fish-eyed samurai that always attracted unwanted and dangerous attention everywhere he went.
They're planning to take you away.
He only hoped Tatsuma had already started preparing his fleet for the departure; the task that would take at least two full days. If they were to try to evade the all-encompassing reach of Empire, they had to make it to the very ends of the universe as soon as possible.
The sound of sandals scraping along the road and his labored breathing grinded against Katsura's ears as the clouds suddenly parted, revealing the moon blazing silver in the starless, lonely sky.
Gintoki, you're the Empire's Moon God.
Thank you so much for reading!
Hhahahah I'm glad you think it was amazing, ViVi. :D
I'm so happy you find the story interesting, Noname!
Happy this fic is a binge for you, Ciel G. Glad to hear your thoughts about Ren XD