Chapter Eight

Valerie POV

This has been the most humiliating week of my life.

My husband left me for our eighteen-year-old babysitter. Her parents are livid. My daughters are devastated. My friends are smug and, as it turns out, not my friends. The invitations to the social events that were already scheduled were rescinded, and my phone calls went unanswered.

I decided to come home to Trenton when I discovered all the bank accounts were emptied, and I'd have no way to pay for anything. The mortgage was only in Steve's name. He said that since he paid for everything, that was only right.

I called my mom to ask if we could stay with them for a while. She's always supported me, and no mother and daughter were ever closer. She said the right things when she told me to come home, but the warmth I expected to hear was nowhere to be found. I had nowhere else to go, so I went home.

Exhausted, hungry, and heartsick, we arrived at the Trenton airport at nine o'clock the following night. Dad agreed to pick us up and bring us home. After securing Angie and Mary Alice in the back of Dad's taxi, I stepped into his arms, hugging him tightly as I felt tears running down my cheeks. "Daddy," I sobbed.

"I know, honey, I know. I'm so sorry." He rubbed large circles on my back reassuringly. "Let's go home."

He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I settled into the seat. He closed the door gently and got into the driver's seat. The girls had both fallen asleep in the few minutes they'd been in the car, and I was just as tired. I closed my eyes for the drive, and before I knew it, we were in front of the tiny house where I had grown up.

Dad and I had a wordless discussion, and he picked up Angie while I picked up Mary Alice. Not wanting to wake them, we padded up the stairs and then to Stephanie's old bedroom. We laid the girls down on her old bed and tiptoed out of the room. I closed the door quietly, and we went back downstairs.

My mom was in the kitchen waiting for us. She had made us some hot cocoa with little marshmallows, and I gratefully accepted a cup from her. "Hi, Mom," I said.

"Hello, dear. How was your trip?" she asked.

"Long. But okay." We chatted for a few minutes more until Dad finished his cocoa and said he was going to bed. He had an early-morning taxi fare at the airport and needed some sleep. "Thanks for coming to pick us up, Daddy," I said, and he nodded.

Mom and I sat in the kitchen and finished our cocoa. I could tell she was dying to say something, so I finally asked her what was on her mind.

"Valerie, I just don't understand how your husband could have abandoned you! Were you not fulfilling his needs? Men have needs, and a proper wife would make sure he was happy, with his dinner on the table when he gets home from work, and a willingness to please at night in the bedroom."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but only just. She didn't pay any attention to me and just ploughed on.

"After all, you don't want to end up like your sister. She is all alone now, working in a building full of men. She'll never attract a new husband in those circumstances. Now her daughter has no father, and it's all Stephanie's fault! Why couldn't she have just forgiven him for his indiscretion with the nanny and looked the other way? It's what I did."

I sighed. My mother says she looked the other way but was miserable and made sure the objects of her misery felt that way too. "Mother, I thought Steve and I had a wonderful life together. I ensured the house was always spotless and the kids were well-groomed and well-behaved. He never had any complaints. I don't know why he chose to do what he did. I wish I did. I admire Steph's ability to pick herself up, dust herself off, and try again. I don't have that kind of strength. Daddy told me on the phone that her husband treated her horribly. She shouldn't have to put up with that."

My mother looked affronted. I wasn't surprised; I had rarely stood up to her or stood up for either of my sisters against her. I finished my cocoa and stood up, ready to take my mug to the sink. "I'm sorry, Mother. I'm exhausted. Can we talk in the morning?"

She nodded stiffly, and I left to go upstairs. Daddy had made up his old camp bed so I could leave the regular bed to my girls. After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I lay down and thought about Stephanie's situation. It was surprising how similar our fates were, though her husband had taken betrayal to a whole new level.

Mother has never been fair to Stephanie or Jeanne Ellen. It wasn't Jeanne Ellen's fault that Daddy cheated on my mom with hers. And Stephanie always had such a big heart. She could never have ignored a new sister, especially not one in such obvious pain. What I told Mother was true. I had never had the strength of character that Stephanie has. I cowered behind Mother, too frightened to take a stand. Too afraid she'd turn on me the way she had Stephanie. I was weak and regretted it, especially when I saw how close Steph and Jeanne Ellen were. Jealousy reared its ugly head, and I doubled down when I should have been the older, wiser sister.

I wondered if either would forgive me for how I treated them during our childhood.

After the disastrous dinner with Stephanie and Zoë, I just had to ask her if I could talk to her and Jeanne Ellen. If I spoke to them together, I'd only have to explain myself once. It was going to be hard enough, but to do it twice? I wanted to avoid that if I could. Steph said she'd ask Jeanne Ellen; all I could do then was wait.

Mother's behaviour over the past couple of days has opened my eyes to the kind of woman she is. A normal parent would not blame her daughter when her husband turned out to be a philandering asshole. It's not my fault!