Author's note: Okay. Okay. I know everyone was surprised by the ruthless logic of humanity-free Elena and her "AU" in the last chapter, but – she doesn't have her humanity – and, therefore, no empathy. Empathy and love are such enormous parts of who she is that without them, the difference is going to be pretty noticeable, but she's honestly no worse (ethically) than any other humanity-free vampire. She might be more effective in some ways because she's a smart cookie (though a lot of that was the Chambre de Chasse helping her along so she'd reach that ennui faster), but no empathy is no empathy. They're all equally bad.
The Chambre de Chasse sequence seems to be channeling Existentialism a bit. So, I guess let's cover more branches of philosophy! :D (Although here it's happening in a more general sense, rather than references to specific works.)
Damon watched her approach him with a feeling akin to wistfulness – he remembered quite vividly the way it used to make him feel, back when he was able to feel those kinds of emotions.
He missed them so much – even the ones that came with pain. At least each moment felt significant.
Not an endless sea of nothing. After a while – without the capacity for love and empathy – even his achievements in the various ways of the various worlds, began to feel empty. I was hard to get excited about anything anymore. But he felt the stirrings of excitement now.
"I know what's behind door number three," Elena said softly, taking a seat next to him. When Damon looked as though he would argue, alarmed, she raised her hand to silence him. "I'll still tell you what the painting is – and what it means," she followed, correctly guessing his source of discomfort. "I want to get out of here, too."
He nodded, letting his smirk don his face like a lover's caress – he'd used it to get his way more times than he could count in the illusion of the most recent world he entered – he didn't even want to think about how long he'd felt this way collectively, through all those doors as his memories re-set, and all he could think about was forward momentum to avoid the deepening hollow in his heart. "So, regale me with your deductions, oh Nancy Drew."
Elena studied him through knitted brows and a tilted head. He looked both at her and through her, and a part of her wondered absently if he felt the same way as she – the profound, aching emptiness that only grew with time.
Not having her humanity had been such a relief and thrill at first, until the gaping chasm of ennui nearly overtook her – the teasing happiness of her dreams cruelly ripped away by the increasing nothing each waking day. She felt – sure, she felt – but all her emotions revolved solely around her – how everything affected her only. She had no qualm or care of her effect on others.
"I'm guessing it was different for us, because you were dead in mine," she said, clearing her throat. "You were dead in all of mine. Was it the same for you?"
He nodded before speaking. "Yeah," he finally said with barely a whisper, unsure why the thought was so painful for him.
"In that … world... I guess?" she floundered, not entirely sure what to call it. "I turned shortly after Klaus' ritual and turned off my humanity immediately – just like every time," she said with pursed lips.
"Because it's off now," Damon supplied to her nod. "The Chambre de Chasse just creates illusions, but no illusion can make you feel empathy – or love. It has to be real."
"That makes sense," I guess, she agreed, though a thought bothered her. "Then why do I remember how it feels? In my dreams. Or," she corrected herself. "In my illusionary dreams."
"Ah, baby vamps," Damon grinned in obvious amusement. "So much left to learn. It's because your humanity is still there, just buried deep. It's not like it left you entirely."
Elena looked both relieved and absurdly frightened that instant – she knew what would come with her humanity. With her empathy, she'll feel the urge to throw away any happiness she had if there's even a hint that it may hurt someone, dooming herself to a life of despair – she'd almost done it mere hours ago, in getting back together with Stefan to keep the ripper away.
Once her humanity returns, that would be her life, Elena feared. And would that be any better? Wouldn't she just be trading one misery for another?
At least now she only knew what she was missing in her dreams, she lamented.
"When I got to Whitmore, I met a man named Enzo – Enzo St. John," she said evenly, watching Damon for a reaction, and she wasn't disappointed when she saw him almost flinch. The name clearly meant something to him, even in this state. "He told me he won a game of Scissors, Paper, Stone with a fellow vampire when they were trapped and experimented on in the fifties – a vampire named Damon – with bright blue eyes, a cunning wit, and an enduring love for a woman named Katherine," she said with narrowed eyes, surprised at the spike of jealousy she felt when delivering the offending vampire's name. "I don't know why, but I helped him with his revenge. I looked for you, refusing to believe you died in that fire," she explained, her voice as somber as a dirge. "I was wrong. And when the despair of that settled, a door appeared, and I stepped through. It was like that every time. Was it like that for you, too?"
"Only when I let the meaning of your death settle, yeah," Damon explained. "In the first reality, I'd known you were dead for a while. Jer and I terrorized Mystic Falls for a bit, then expanded. Inevitably, I got bored, like I did every time, and just went off to travel. It felt like everywhere I went, reminders of you followed me – I didn't even know it was you, but the name was everywhere – the illustrious doppelganger who died before her time, thus pissing off the Toothless Unhybrid for all eternity," he shrugged.
"Why do you think we're always dead in each other's illusions? And why is realizing that it bothers us the trigger?" Elena wondered.
"Probably because we're the only two people physically here, so the Chambre can't create fake versions of us in these worlds," Damon shrugged offhandedly, though the explanation sounded hollow even to his own ears.
Elena watched him, and though he certainly looked like he meant it, the reasoning rang false to her. It was sound logic, for sure, but something about it felt off.
There had to be more than that, but what?
Instead, she just nodded, lost in her own thoughts.
"So, the painting?" he prodded, by now absolutely eager to know.
Elena turned to it, her eyes tracing the floral landscape almost affectionately. The daffodils, the bluebells, the peonies – the cherry tree in the background. The magnolias. All her mom's favorite Spring flowers and blooms.
She remembered that day so vividly.
Almost wistfully, Elena leaned her back against the wall and drew her legs together with her arms, allowing herself to get lost in the moment for the briefest of seconds. "It was that April – the last April they were alive – about a month before the accident. We went up to the lake house as a family; where mom, Jeremy, and I went for a walk. We happened upon this really gorgeous meadow – with this stunning view – and we just spent the afternoon there. Jeremy took a few sheets of paper and his art supplies. He was just starting out with painting – finally brave enough to try after years of sketching," she explained. "One of his few attempts before he completely gave up again."
"Right," Damon prodded impatiently for her to continue. Elena was taken aback by his lack of reaction initially – so unused to this cold demeanor from her typically passionate boyfriend – ex-boyfriend? Did it even count if they only had a night and morning of bliss before everything came crashing down?
She shook herself off it and remembered the lack of humanity. What a stark contrast it painted. He may be fun and playful and clever even without it, but he was a different person entirely to her without his ability to love.
"I confessed to my mom that I wanted to break up with Matt, because I didn't love him, but I was afraid to hurt him. She looked at me then and told me she was so proud of the empathy and compassion I had, and that she tried so hard to instill it within me since I was little – but maybe she did it too much, she said. Then she pulled me close and explained that sometimes we need a little pain to become better. Surgeons technically hurt people – they cause pain – but they're healers who set people on the right path – often saving their lives. There's risk, of course, but it's often worth it. If I hurt him by breaking up with him, I'd only do him a favor because would allow us both a chance to find real love," she said softly. "That painting came to symbolize that lesson for me, and I'd look at it for courage. But then about a week after the accident, Jer got high, as he tended to do a lot back then, and in a fit of grief, he destroyed it. And, I know it sounds stupid, but – it's almost like I forgot the lesson," she confessed.
"And went on a suicide attempt spree at every chance you got?" he raised an eyebrow wryly.
"Exactly," she replied tersely. "And it just got worse over time."
Damon laughed. "Sure did. You were willing to throw any chance at happiness away – not just your life, your eternity – to play blood babysitter to by fun-averse brother – and keep him on the path of Chipmunk-Chasing Righteousness," he smirked. Elena noted there was a cruelty to it that she hadn't seen in years, and even then it was just the briefest glimpse. "When in reality, it probably wasn't even you that stopped his binge."
"Why would you say that?" Elena asked, frustrated. If he was so sure it wasn't her, then why were they letting her go through with it? But would she have let him stop her? No, she had to admit to herself.
"You heard him," Damon answered. "He doesn't love you anymore. It's been obvious to anyone with eyes for ages now. Except you, I guess."
"And Caroline," Elena countered, growing increasingly annoyed.
"Vampire Barbie's problems aren't so much with vision – but with comprehension and delusion," he rolled his eyes mockingly. "I mean – just look at her track record: Steffie, Donovan, Klaus –"
"You," Elena interrupted snidely.
"Yeah, once! After that, it was strictly a blood bag and compelled spy situation," Damon scoffed. "Completely different."
"Didn't look so different when she fed on you in the forest," Elena countered. "Blood sharing is very personal," she mocked, affecting his voice.
Damon just grinned. Widely. Almost impossibly wide. "Ooh, I see. You're jealous."
Elena scoffed, clearly caught but refusing to admit it. "Not jealous – just making a point."
"Right," Damon said, rolling his eyes and sounding the exact opposite of someone who meant it, and jumped up to grab the painting. Supernatural abilities certainly had their advantages.
Upon turning it over, he noted that the frame had a false back. Curiously, he peeled it off.
There were two slots. "Our totems go here," he explained, "Totems are –"
"I've heard of those!" Elena interrupted excitedly. "Bonnie explained it to me once – it's representational magic. I guess one represents you, and one represents me. So, we slide them in there, and the puzzle's solved? We're out?"
"Looks like," Damon grinned, impressed despite himself.
"If the painting isn't my totem, then it has to be – probably something in Stefan's room" she reasoned. "It's where most of my things are in this place," she explained since she and Damon had really only been together for less than one day, before blurring up the stairs.
Damon looked at the painting for a little while. What could his be? What were his journeys trying to tell him? He certainly accomplished a lot. He'd met and charmed royalty; he got his revenge on Katherine a few times, as well as the whole of the Augustine Society; he freed and promptly ditched Enzo; he'd been with countless beautiful women, many of whom declared undying love for him; he compelled his way into Feynman's lectures, again – that was always fun; he ran and sold Fortune 500 companies; he stole priceless art; he influenced major global decisions just to cause some extra chaos – sometimes all it took was tanking a company's stock; and because he found it utterly hilarious, he started scores of troll Twitter campaigns, often marveling just how much easier life was without empathy.
And empty, and meaningless, a voice inside him whispered, that he quickly crushed. It's not like he hadn't tried – and failed – to get it back, countless times. Who'd have ever thought that he'd be so desperate for his humanity?
A part of him suspected that, because all these worlds were illusionary, the accomplishments may have been easier to achieve than they would have been in reality – perhaps to cruelly tease him just how little it all mattered.
But what was his greatest accomplishment, in all the many lives he'd lived?
Of what was he most proud?
He walked into his room, relieved to find a table holding all the treasures he'd collected over his illusionary journeys. Ah, of course! It had to be this!
Elena walked into his room then, a proud smile on her face. "My lesson was obviously to put myself first, so here's one from a world where I became Chief of Medicine at Whitmore Medical Center," she grinned, extending her badge to him. "Youngest ever. I mostly had to compel my way there, but it gave me the connections I needed."
Nodding, Damon accepted it. "Sound logic. I've been telling you to do that for years. Maybe this time you'll actually learn. What connections are those?" he couldn't resist asking.
She bit her lip before answering, uncomfortable with the information. "Finding you – or the ghost of you. In every world, it was the same," she admitted, then promptly changed the subject. "What about you? What's that?"
Damon laughed. "It's a piece of the rock with Qetsiyah's calcified blood that I stole from Professor Creepy during a Cure-chase in one of the worlds I visited. Klaus wanted to turn Katherine human so he could use her blood to make more hybrids, and she was the only available option."
Elena frowned. "Did we know each other in that one?"
"No," Damon said, shaking his head. "The car accident left you in a coma for months, so you weren't around when I opened the tomb, and I left as soon as I realized she wasn't in there."
"Oh," she said sadly, still finding it odd that it bothered her that they never met in all these worlds. "Not even on the forest road?"
"No, I always came back right after the comet appeared," he shrugged.
"How did I die in that one?"
"In that world, instead of correctly realizing that Lying Mama was a liar, he assumed you had to be dead, so when he found out you survived the ritual – same way as in our world – he just hightailed it back to town and killed you," he said in a tone that sounded convincingly nonchalant not listening carefully – not searching it for the slightest variation in pitch.
She nodded, thinking of all the ways he died in the worlds she visited. They might try to compare notes. "What happened then?"
Damon grinned, obviously enjoying this. "Then I tricked Katherine into fighting me, because she followed us, predictably, to get the Cure for herself to leverage it. Just as she threw the stake, I blocked it using Galen Vaughn, and as she cast the killing blow, she got the Hunter's Curse," he laughed.
Elena doubled over in laughter, imagining her annoying doppelganger having to endure the same curse she once had to undergo – and for Katherine, there was likely no relief in sight, since it was certainly unlikely that they had another Potential Hunter on hand. "Was she ever able to break it?" Elena asked, finally catching her breath.
"Nope!" Damon guffawed.
"Ah, perfect. That's a great memory. Was tormenting Katherine your goal in all your lives?"
"An occasional side-effect, but no. That's not why I stole this," he admitted uncomfortably.
"Then why?" Elena pressed; her curiosity piqued.
"I knew Silas was lying to us about resurrecting everyone we loved – I looked into him after Kol rolled into town to warn everyone. But I also figured that if I held his precious ritual hostage, he might make the exception for one doppelganger I really wanted to meet," he said almost too casually, but Elena caught the slight hitch in his inflection.
"And then you found out that his powers don't work that way," she concluded.
"Yep," he shrugged. "So, all that was left was for me was to mess with Katherine again and wallow in my increasing boredom until a door appeared, and here I am."
"Maybe someday, we can compare all our respective deaths in each other's illusionary worlds," she said cheekily. "But for now, let's get out of here."
They placed the objects in the slots and waited.
And waited. And waited.
"How long is this supposed to take?" Elena asked.
"They're the wrong ones," Damon growled, frustration clearly written in his features, then he took a deep breath. "Okay, let's think. Maybe it wants us to turn on our humanities," he offered.
"So, we can trick it!" Elena exclaimed, unwilling to admit yet that she wasn't quite so comfortable with returning to her empathetic self, regardless of what Damon wanted. "I have two potential objects in mind. Hold on," she said, and blurred away, only to come back with her journal and a cheerleading trophy.
"Why those?" he asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
"My humanity enables me to love, right? My mom wanted me to write – so, my journal. All my thoughts and feelings are in here –"
"Ooh!" Damon exclaimed, grabbing it out of her hand and obnoxiously searching through the contents with a decidedly obnoxious and charming grin on his face. "Aw, you sound so somber here. This must be the day you met Steffie."
"Give it back," Elena growled, trying to snatch it away, but he blurred to the opposite corner of the room.
"Dear Diary," he said in a voice that was somehow both squeaky and breathy. "I saw a sad boy terrorizing forest animals today, and the toxic fumes coming from his over-shaped hair damaged my brain and my survival instinct so much that my life has become one big Steffie-loving suicide attempt. He personified self-flagellation so much that I thought I'd try it, too" he delivered dramatically, raising the back of his hand to his forehead in a show of exaggerated woe, right before dodging another attempt of Elena's to get her journal back. "What's this?" He gasped audibly, a grin to rival the Cheshire Cat sneaking onto his face.
Elena growled and tried to grab the journal again, but to no avail.
"The day you met me!" Damon said excitedly. "Well, the day you thought you met me for the first time. Ooh, I can read between the lines, Elena. Charming, mysterious, witty – you were into me right away," he grinned.
"Yeah, maybe if you weren't such an obvious ass, my heart would have bled all over you, instead," she shot back, then looked at him quizzically. "Why did you always try to look worse than you really were? You weren't half as dangerous as you pretended to be."
"Only toward you," he explained bitterly. "Every time I'm around you, I can feel my humanity struggling to break free. I felt it then and I feel it now. So, let's just get on with it – because this time, I actually want it back."
Elena neglected to tell him that it wasn't in her plans to help him with his humanity in any capacity, and just put her two chosen items on the table. "And yours?"
"Hmm," he thought aloud. "This pen. Fooling the Founders Council into loving me was pretty fun, so I thought I'd take it to the next level in one of the worlds, and became this big benefactor and investor. I manipulated some stocks, made a fortune – started a fake foundation just to launder some money, which was hilarious. Then to make everyone like me even more, I wrote a bunch of really big donations to some children's hospitals," he snickered. "It worked really well. I hired the best PR team. I was practically a saint in that world, and anyone who actually managed to get some blackmail material was compelled to 'tell the truth,'" he explained with the most sardonic air quotes. "This was the pen I used to write all those checks, so this is what convinced everyone I was just made of empathy," he grinned, tossing it to her.
She caught it easily, nodding. "Pretty impressive scheme."
"I was just bored," he explained. "Most if it was improvisation – it just kind of happened, but it kept me feeling something, so I kept doing it, until even that wasn't enough."
Elena slid her journal in with his pen. Nothing. She replaced the journal with her medical badge. Nothing again.
"What the hell?" she roared.
Over the next hour, they'd both tried every combination they could possibly think of, but the Chambre de Chasse accepted none of them.
Damon was quiet for a few long moments, emptily staring out of his window into the forest outside, while Elena paced and steamed. "I don't understand! We tried everything. What does this thing want?"
"Not everything," he said slowly, finally turning to face her. He took a few seconds to approach her, gently cupping his hands around her cheeks like he had when he was still capable of love. Like every time they've been this close, he felt his humanity rushing forward, struggling to break free from within its mental prison.
Elena felt it, too, and so blurred away from him to the opposite side of the room. "No."
"Why not?" he cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
Caroline and Stefan were comfortably seated in the cell in the Salvatore Boarding House's basement – as comfortable as one could be with those accommodations, anyway.
Caroline had her head on his shoulder, smiling in content. "I love you," she said.
"I love you, too," he replied, kissing her. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see it, and even longer to admit it."
"Naturally, you needed my help," she replied importantly, though in jest. "So, you really won't get back together with Elena?" she asked, embarrassed that her insecurity peeked through her voice.
"I won't," Stefan assured confidently. "It's like I tried to tell you before this whole mess started – I think our time is done. I don't think we were ever meant to be more than friends."
"I'm sorry I kept pushing you two together for so long," Caroline confessed. "I was just –"
"Projecting?" he interrupted softly, then smiled. "Trust me, I know what that's like. Many thanks to you and all your humanity-free brutal truths."
"I'm sorry," she blushed shyly.
"No, it's okay. I needed to hear that. It helped. I'll try to make a sincere effort to be better, and with you by my side, even if I sometimes fail, I'll have the courage to try again – and in an even better way," he breathed.
"I'll always be there for you," she said softly, squeezing his hand.
"And I'll be there for you, too, Caroline," Stefan soothed. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough. Honestly, if it weren't for you – I'd have been so lost, ages ago.
"I'm sorry I let my insecurity get the best of me," she sniffed. "And acted like a neurotic control freak."
Stefan placed a hand under her chin gently, urging her to look at him. "You'll never have reason to feel insecure around me again, Caroline Forbes. You mean everything to me," he confessed, and kissed her soundly.
It was only minutes later that Caroline pulled back in alarm, her eyes widening. "Where do you think he sent Elena and Damon!? We have to find them!"
"Just turn your own stupid humanity on, and leave me out of it," Elena pouted. "I'm not done exploring the limits of my 'non-empathy,'" she said, widening her eyes dramatically. Even to her ears, it sounded false. That wasn't the real reason, and she knew it.
Damon narrowed his eyes at her. She was lying. Clearly. So, he decided to change tactics. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but humanity-free Elena Gilbert is …boring," he said, albeit surprised by how true he found it to be.
"What!?" she balked, clearly insulted.
"And I don't like being bored. Makes me do stupid things," he continued, as though he didn't hear her. "I have gone to ridiculous lengths in the past to stave off boredom."
"Maybe this is a 'you' problem, then, because I'm plenty fun," she huffed.
"But unoriginal," he commented, almost to himself, really scrutinizing her with a telltale tilt of his head. "You're just like any other humanity-free vampire. There's nothing special, really. Not anymore."
"Unoriginal!? Fine! Fine, I'll go drain that couple over there, but not before I compel them to – compel them to –" she thought, becoming increasingly flabbergasted. He complimented her on her originality and cleverness plenty of times before – plenty. Was all that really tied to her humanity?
"What? Something that's been done a billion times before by almost every vampire ever?" he asked sardonically, then turned to face her seriously, looking like he was grappling with himself. He almost looked pained at his forthcoming words. "You should turn it back on."
"Why in the world would I ever do that?"
"Empathetic you liked being able to use her vampirism to heal people. Hilarious as that is, I never heard anyone say that before – at least personally. It made you different," he said wistfully, missing the way it made him feel – the way she made him feel. "Empathy is such a big part of who you are that without it, the effect so much more noticeable. Without your ability to love, you're," he thought for a moment, looking for the right word, "incomplete."
"And you're complete without your humanity?" she shot back.
"No, which is why I want to return it," he said.
"Why?" she cried.
"I think I'm … bored," Damon said, laying back down on the floor to look at the ceiling again. Why was she making this so difficult?
"Bored?"
"Yeah, he replied. "Pure, unadulterated ennui. Don't tell me you're not feeling it, too, because I know you are." When she didn't reply and schooled her face to be expressionless, he continued. "I went through these rooms – did everything I wanted. Got my revenge on Katherine in an even funnier way that the one I told you about before," he smirked.
"How?" she asked curiously.
"Got her turned into a poltergeist – vengeful spirit that's tied to a soul they were used to resurrect. They're basically a sacrifice that's half living, half dead, but never at peace until they find a loophole."
"What are you talking about?"
"They need to find a way to work in tandem with the person for whom they were sacrificed – form a real sincere partnership. Almost friendship."
"So, who did you have her tied to?" she grinned, excited about the prospect.
Damon just guffawed. "Matt Donovan. Think about it – Quarterback – he hates vampires. He definitely hates Katherine. Oh, it's perfect. She's miserable."
"Shouldn't you be happier about this, then?"
"I should be, right? But I just keep …winning. No matter what I do – without my humanity in the way – without my empathy to stop me, I've come up with perfect, ruthless plans and …" he trailed off.
"Still not seeing the problem," she lied.
"It's boring," he said emotionlessly. "There's no challenge. Everything is so predictable, and I just wonder, what's the point?"
"Can't winning be the point?" she asked, secretly hopeful that it could be enough for her, too.
"Is it really winning if it's constant?" he sat up, facing her again.
"So, you couldn't stand the monotony?" Elena asked flatly.
"Lost your empathy but kept your cleverness," he winked.
"I think there's something about the ability to love the breaks the agony of monotony and a meaningless life."
"Deep," she sassed, rolling her eyes, though she inwardly felt the truth of the statement, regardless of how much she wanted to deny it.
"Stop," he replied with his own eyeroll. "I know you feel it, too. I think we just discovered the reason most older vampires can't turn it off anymore," he laughed. "I guess, eventually, every vampire comes to this realization. The Chambre de Chasse just sped It up for us."
"I don't want it," she said quietly, though she was increasingly beginning to recognize the lie for what it was.
"I miss being able to love you. I didn't know what love was – what happiness was – until that night and morning with you," he breathed, taking her hand. "Finding out the sire bond hurt, and everything that followed – but at least it felt real. Nothing feels real anymore. You know it, too," he said. She only squeezed his hand in response, taking her time to answer.
"I remember so vividly what it was like to love you," she finally whispered, still squeezing his hand. "I was so afraid of it – ran away from it for so long. No one ever told me that being without it would be so much worse."
He just looked at her, and Elena could see the understanding reflected in his eyes. He felt the same way.
"Then why don't you want it back? Why do you refuse to turn it back on?" Damon wondered.
"Because I'll lose it, anyway!" she exclaimed. "Don't you get it? This is who I am when I have my empathy! I'm so petrified of hurting anyone that I'll throw away any chances of happiness I have. Potentially unleash a ripper onto the world? Of course, I'll make myself miserable," she scoffed.
"I thought we were agreed that you wouldn't do that –"
"To be a girl who can't see past her own trauma and survivor's guilt to the point that she feels, almost pathologically, that she doesn't deserve to be happy?" she continued as though she didn't hear him.
Damon laughed – uproariously – for the first time in what felt like forever. "You really thought I was going to let you go through with it? Did you honestly believe it?"
She was caught off-guard. "Y-yeah… of course. Why wouldn't you? I know you didn't want Stefan's ripper to come out either."
"Elena," he chided, shaking his head and shaking from laughter. "I knew you were feeling too stubborn to argue about it that night, so I just let it go for now. The second Stef would have slipped up – and you can rest assured that he would have – I would have proved to you that it wasn't you who brought him back. I just needed you to be ready to listen – and when it's not a life-or-death situation, I can be very patient."
"But –" she argued weakly, so desperate for her humanity. Could she really have that happiness again?
"And I won't," he reassured. I'll never let you throw your happiness away like that."
"But how can you know? You don't even love me now. You can't!" she exclaimed worriedly.
"Because I remember how much I loved you when I had my humanity," he told her softly, with utmost confidence. "Love like that doesn't just go away. I mean it, Elena. I won't let you."
"You promise?" she asked, hope reflected in her dark eyes.
"I promise," he confirmed, slipping each hand on either cheek as he pulled her closer.
Yep, nothing to see here. Just two humanity-free vampires discussing the meaning of life (and almost trying to miss the point until the end). :D It'll continue in the next chapter when they get their humanities back and have some much-needed perspective. Sorry if that's not your thing, but I really dig these.
I feel like we didn't get into Damon's lesson too much here (aside from the ennui that lack of love and empathy can ultimately bring), so more on that in the next chapter, after their humanities return. It feels like a better time for it.
Sorry, this particular Chambre de Chasse was created by magic, itself, so it can't be fooled by fake empathy. :D
Why ennui? I was originally just going to do this with Damon, since I think he's probably the cleverest person in the main cast. We see him make correct intuitive leaps from minimal information (no easy task), like with Professor Shane needing to use Bonnie instead of Elena to quell Jeremy's Hunter urges, and The Creepy Professor even complimented Damon's intuitive cleverness there. Out of everyone in the main cast, he's also seen reading the most. So it stands to reason that this kind of mind, when not running from tragedy and trauma, would need constant stimulation – and consistently winning would bore him fast.
I think the Chambre helped him along with the winning, and he suspects this to some degree – because winning wasn't the point. It was how he would feel if it kept happening.
I expanded this to Elena, because she's really clever, too, and if she spent just as long in those rooms, she's technically had a lot of no-humanity vamp experience at this point also. :D
Is this the actual reason that vampires can't turn it off after a while, as Rose suggested? Maybe. For the sake of the story, it's why Damon and Elena think so.
Big thanks and love to everyone. I already started writing chapter 14, so I'll try to have it out ASAP.
Cheers to Wobalo for inspiring the diary joke. :D
Massive hugs and love. Thank you all for being lovely. :D