It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Currently skipping class, Yang Xiao Long was resting on a bench with a hand massaging her temples. She had given herself a two hour time limit for her attempt to unwind, and then she would go back to the dorm room and try to figure out what type of person her new partner was.
Why did everything have to go wrong?
She had known that Beacon would be different, her father wasn't around to watch out for her or her sister, that the Academy was supposed to prepare them to be full fledged Huntsmen and Huntresses. So that meant no more hand holding or second tries. And perhaps some people were worried about that, but not her, not Yang, she was ready for the chance to spread her wings and find out just how far she could soar on her own.
The first sign of things going wrong was obviously when her little sister, a girl two years younger than her, got enrolled into the Academy. Sure it was impressive that her sister chased off a criminal robbing a store, but they could've just given her a medal or something. Not force her to dive into the deep end already.
When she was leaving behind her sister, Ruby Rose, she had hoped that in her absence her sister would finally socialize. She had stuck to Yang all throughout her first year at their old school and didn't make a single friend. Ruby should've became a second year in a school without her sister present, not only would she be able to witness how awkward the first years would be, but then she could reflect on herself and understand that she was growing up.
But no, Ruby skipped two grades and became a first year student in the same school as her sister all over again. Her mental space would reset and she would lose any and all sense of advancement that she had unknowingly developed.
And yet Yang couldn't reveal her troubles or concerns, Ruby was overjoyed at being closer to becoming a Huntress like her mom, and their father was genuinely happy for her. The small and honest smile on Taiyang's face was a rarity, most of the time he just wore a wide grin that denied his internal anguish, the rare moments he truly smiled were when he witnessed how strong his daughters were. She couldn't be the one to rip apart their emotions, it just wasn't in her nature, so she just wore a wide grin.
Putting on a false smile was easy for her; she's been doing it for the sake of her sister and her father for what feels like all her life. When she was younger she tried doing it for her own sake too, but when she saw her smile in the mirror she felt like throwing up; her mom was gone, Ruby's mom was dead, and their father was breaking apart, so how could she still smile?
Perhaps it was unhealthy to repress her natural thoughts and emotions, but not once in her life has something gone wrong because of it, so she didn't care what other people might say.
Yang held her tongue and excitedly welcomed her sister with her to Beacon, hopeful that now Ruby might make some friends when she would be forced onto a team with other people.
And then Initiation was underway, her worries were thoroughly suppressed and she began wondering who her partner would be. After a few close calls with people who already had partners, she had eventually found her way to the ruins where the relics were located, and then she began making her way to the cliff.
The forest had changed and she could feel it on her skin, a low crawling chaos rumbled throughout the ground. Yang had hopped up a tree to try and see what was causing the change, and she saw a sea of black swarming into a single location. The thick smog of Grimm particles rising through the trees was when she began to feel concerned for whatever was happening over there.
After a few seconds she noticed something drifting around the smog, from her distance it was surprising that she was able to see the small red rose petals being tossed around. Immediately she shot off from her vantage point and raced over, having recognized the flower petals as a byproduct of her sister using her Semblance.
Yang didn't wait or take in the sight of her little sister buzzing across a small clearing and through a horde of Grimm, she didn't even voice her concerns for her sister's health. The instant she saw Ruby, dripping crimson with blood, she saw red and she released the mental valve in her mind and rage flooded forth from deep within. The next few seconds were a blur in her memory as she crushed Grimm.
When everything calmed down, she rushed to her sister's side and was relieved when she learned Ruby was not seriously harmed, just exhausted. Ruby then frantically informed Yang about what happened through ragged breaths, and all she got from that was that her sister had met two unfortunate people who were incapable of helping others without getting hurt in the process.
As she carried the unconscious boy, she could feel how cold his body was. Half of her was convinced he was already dead but she didn't voice that within earshot of her sister, the other half of her could tell that he was still breathing and his heart was still beating but that half was also convinced that he was about to die any moment, and when he did she still wouldn't tell her sister about it.
At the end of the day, when he died, Yang didn't want Ruby to blame herself. So she would carry his corpse the whole way and let the medical staff pronounce him dead, then she could comfort her sister by telling her that she did all that she could do.
And then she felt his almost dead body shift and he groaned in her arms. He was still alive, and if he survived then Ruby wouldn't even have to think about his death. As she tried to keep him awake she had realized that their eyes had met and he would be her partner going forth, if he survived that was.
That boy's survival was all she could think about. So his request to be killed, to die, didn't make any sense.
She wanted him to live. Ruby needed him to live.
She had heard that Aura Exhaustion could trick people into thinking and feeling like their soul was missing.
Aura was a delicate thing, regardless of how tough it was. The mind, body, and soul, all those needed to be in perfect harmony or else a person couldn't fully use their Aura, and if the balance was skewed the wrong way then they suffer from chaotic sensations that broke bodies and drove people into madness.
He bit his tongue, while she was distracted in her thoughts the boy bit his own tongue, and when Yang noticed her hand shot out to pry his jaw open. She could feel his teeth desperately attempting to remove a chunk of his own tongue. He really wanted to die, he was going to kill himself since she wouldn't fulfill his plea.
She wanted him to live. Ruby needed him to live. He wanted to die.
He was going to ruin everything. Ruby already knew he had survived, and Yang couldn't hide his suicide from her. Ruby would blame herself for his death.
Yang could feel her mind start to boil and the mental valve that regulated her pent up emotions started to creak, her thoughts became muddled as rage and desperation flooded through her mind. Her muscles twitched erratically and burning blood ran through her veins, pressure was pooling up in her body and it was seeking a release or else her body would burst.
A smile and a choked out 'thank you' smashed through everything clogging her mind, and she realized what she had just done as she released her grip on his neck.
Yang almost killed him. It was okay; he had wanted to die.
Yang almost killed him. It was okay; he had wanted to die.
Yang almost killed him. It was okay; he had wanted to die.
He was alive. She was his partner. Ruby was their team leader. Yang and Ruby were on the same team. Yang almost killed him. He wanted to die. Ruby almost saw two deaths in one day. He almost died helping someone. Yang almost killed him. Ruby didn't want him dead. He wanted to die. Yang didn't want him dead. Yang almost killed him. Ruby couldn't find out. Yang almost killed him. Other people couldn't find out. Yang almost killed him. She would have to smile tomorrow. Yang almost killed him.
For the rest of the night her mind circled around the same thoughts until her body gave out and she fell asleep in a chair next to his bed. In the morning he thanked her again. He was glad to be alive, he didn't want to die anymore.
Yang had gone through an entire day on autopilot with a wide grin on her face. She interacted with Jaune, the boy she almost killed, and she found out that he was an odd one. After being given his diagnosis he didn't really show any signs of being troubled by it, instead he just began working on his recovery, but Yang could see it, she could see in his eyes that he was weighing the cost of living life as a invalid.
She didn't understand how he could do it so calmly. When she had hand fed him his lunch, she could see on his face as he decided whether he should continue living a life where he couldn't even feed himself.
Ruby didn't want him dead. Yang didn't want him dead. That was how she felt, and although she almost slipped up, she knew those were hard unchanging facts. Jaune was glad to be alive. Jaune wanted to die. He flip flopped at the slightest inconvenience and smallest amounts of hope for the future.
She had no experience in helping someone find the will to live on, the most she had done was grin for her father to help him feel better. So she just tried grinning for Jaune, she smiled and laughed for him, she tried to get him to look her way and understand that life was still worth living even if he couldn't move his limbs.
She needed him to live, Ruby's and her own mental state were now at risk because of him. Rage and fury rattled against her skull, threatening to spill out, but her mental valve was reinforced to prevent another leakage, and her repressed emotions got shoved further down her from her conscious mind.
Around dinner time yesterday, Yang Xiao Long had decided to drag the rest of team RAYS, Ruby Rose and Weiss Schnee, to see Jaune Arc in his room. She had hoped that their lives could help him decide to keep on living.
Although it started off awkward, she could see that he was almost saddened that he had another reason to live, and then Weiss went off on a somewhat creepy rant about how grateful she was to be alive. It had been enough for Yang to began worrying about her sister's partner, but she didn't deem the cold girl a suicide risk so she was a lower priority. In the end Jaune looked reluctant, but he still appeared satisfied that Weiss was alive.
After feeding him his dinner, he didn't even acknowledge how the act was tearing at her mind because she wasn't built to care for a stranger this way, but that was mostly because she suppressed and smothered her growing frustration. Regardless, when he was done eating she left the room and then stuck around just outside the door as he started talking to Ruby.
It started off rocky and then Ruby started rambling about her hobby, Yang was tempted to walk back in and steer the conversation into a more acceptable direction but she held herself back as Jaune didn't attempt to stop the weapon fanatic from talking. It wasn't until a nurse came by that Ruby was forced to stop as visiting hours were over, so she had rambled for nearly six hours and Jaune hadn't made any attempt to stop her during that entire duration.
Yang had wandered around for a while before she went back to her new dorm room, her sister had returned before her and was trying to strike up a conversation with her partner. Apparently Weiss hadn't begun unpacking her stuff yet, because according to her, she hadn't seen a need to. Ruby roped Yang into helping out a Weiss unpack, the girl didn't show any signs of caring about the two sisters going through her belongings.
The first few suitcases were easy because they only contained clothes, something the owner apparently didn't care for anymore but she also didn't stop them from being placed into drawers. Ruby was desperately trying to connect with Weiss and tried striking up a conversation about anything her partner had packed away, not giving up no matter how much her partner ignored her.
Of the two stubborn girls, Weiss caved in first but Ruby completely gave up afterwards.
Yang had taken a seat on her bed as her sister moved onto luggage containing more personal belongings, and as she pestered her partner. Said partner complained about how late it was and she stood up with the help of her crutch and walked over to Ruby, who almost smiled, and then Weiss grabbed a vial of Burn Dust and lit her remaining luggage on fire.
Ruby was frozen in shock and she didn't react as Weiss snatched a picture frame from her hands and tossed it into the fire. Yang could barely make out the photograph of a child Weiss next to an older teenager who closely resembled her before the flames ate away at the photo.
Ruby's silver eyes lost their glimmer and she dashed into her bed, Yang went over to console her sister as she struggled to rein in her anger at Weiss. Reminding herself that the poor girl had brain damage, a fact she really didn't care about but forced herself to accept the excuse so her anger wouldn't explode.
The memory of her sister almost in tears didn't really help relieve her stress.
"Why the fuck did everything go wrong?" Yang muttered and stared up into the clear sky from her spot on the east courtyard bench.
She knew when and how everything had gone wrong. Jaune Arc had been injured from his fall into the forest and Weiss Schnee messed up while trying to help him, and then he messed up trying to help her in return. If they didn't do that, then nothing bad would've happened.
If the boy and girl weren't there, if the odd boy hadn't injured himself landing, if the haughty girl hadn't helped the injured boy, if she hadn't screwed up, if the boy hadn't helped the girl, if he hadn't screwed up, if if if… as if everything and anything could be solved by pondering ifs. Those all happened and nothing could be done about the outcome, the past was an immutable series of fixed events.
All Yang could do was try to understand why everything had happened so she could learn from those mistakes.
Again she felt her brain pulse against her skull, something it had done constantly as if she was hungover, but she hadn't had a drink in a while. And the constant reminder of her sobriety only made her want a drink all the more, and she wasn't just talking about a fruity cocktail she could nurse, no, she wanted something to make her forget everything and black out entirely.
Shame Beacon doesn't have a bar near campus.
"Fuck this boarding school and fuck whoever decided not to build a bar near here." She took a note from her partner and she voiced her complaints as she calmly vented out her frustration. Surprisingly, to her, it kinda helped to relieve the tension in her body. At least it performed better than simply rubbing her head did, so she continued to vent. "Fuck Jaune for his suicidal tendencies, and fuck Weiss for her brain damage, and fuck Ozpin for dragging Ruby here, and fuck…" She continued to mutter out her inner thoughts into the clear sky.
Her Scroll let out a low chirping chime to inform her that her time was up, so Yang stopped her venting and started walking to her room.
Jaune should have finished unpacking his belongings, and now that he was able to move around he shouldn't still be considering killing himself anymore, but that mindset couldn't have gone away so easily, so she needed to keep an eye on him.
"Jaune!" Ruby's panicked shout echoed down the hallway and reached Yang who was almost to their dorm. "Weiss!? Why!?" The little sister frantically tripped over her own words as her older sister dashed into the room.
The first thing Yang Xiao Long saw as she entered the room saw Weiss Schnee with her sword in her hand, the weapon pointed forward. The second thing was her little sister, Ruby Rose, hyperventilating as she stared at a wall. The third thing she saw was Jaune Arc, her partner, pinned to the wall by a large icicle that had pierced his gut.
Dark red blood stained the clear ice and dripped on the floor forming a pool of wet blood. He took short gasps of air and his fingers futilely tried gripping and removing the object pinning him in place.
"My apologies, I had mistakenly assumed he was an assassin who had broken into our room." Weiss Schnee said in a hollow voice, and then she tilted her head. "How much would you price your life at?"
"Weiss!" Ruby shrieked.
"I understand that now isn't the best time to be asking, but it's likely he'll die soon and I need to know how much to reimburse his family for."
"Ff-uh," Jaune gasped and stuttered, "Ffuhck, haa, hah, yyouu, huwh."
The shock finally wore off of Yang, and she could see that with those words Jaune had given up as his body went limp and he closed his eyes. He couldn't die, she wouldn't allow it.
xXx
Ruby Rose couldn't believe that her life had gotten so fucked up, that her dream life at Beacon was falling apart at the seams.
She had offended some heiress of sorts and then they got paired up, but their previous rocky relationship ended soon after they found an injured boy. After narrowly escaping the forest she had been the only one physically fine out of the bunch, then she was given a leader role and she had to get used to an even colder Weiss.
Jaune was recovering fine, even better than her own partner, and he wanted to be her friend so things were finally looking up for her.
And then Weiss and her had stopped by their dorm room in between classes, and they heard a sound from a corner of the room. Ruby was mildly surprised but before she could turn around to find out the source of the sound, Weiss had dropped her crutch and she spun around as she ripped her rapier off her waist then she quickly formed and shot a large icicle at the source of the sound.
The thunk of her crutch falling on the floor was drowned out by a boy who had just been pinned to the wall with an icicle through his gut. The shock lasted for a second before Ruby began panicking as her one and only bright side to the unfortunate series of events was slowly bleeding out.
And then through her panic, she saw her sister walk up to the soon to be corpse and then Yang grinned as she leaned on the wall next to her dying partner.
"Jaune, how's it hanging?" Yang cheerfully asked.
Jaune's eyelids fluttered open as he glared at his partner, he opened his mouth and blood poured out as he coughed.
"Not in the mood for jokes? Then what are you in the mood for? Y'know I've talked to you for a while, but we haven't had a real conversation yet, I don't really know much about you. And if you die I'll never know anything more, so before that happens, tell me something. Why are you still here? Why didn't you leave as soon as you were able to walk again?"
Ruby couldn't believe her sister was trying to hold a conversation with a boy impaled through the stomach.
"W-why?" Jaune weakly muttered out and blood stained his question. "I- I… wanted… to be… a Huntsmen." He squeezed out.
"Is that all? Isn't there a dream or goal or something you have? Anything you wanted to do before your death?"
Jaune chuckled and coughed up a lot more blood. "N-no. I just… admired the… stories my… father told… me, and… I… wanted to… be a… hero like… everyone else… in my family… I didn't… want to… be a… failure."
"And is this all it'll take to stop you? A single icicle? Is that all it takes to stop your dream? A light wound? Isn't your heart still beating? Aren't your lungs still breathing? That thing in your skull is still thinking, right? You're still alive right now, so why are you giving up from such a light wound, just use your Aura to heal up. You don't even have to do that much, if you just stop the bleeding then the medics could do the rest."
"W-what?" Jaune mumbled out in confusion.
Yang grabbed his face and looked into his unfocused gaze. "Do you want to die? Or do you want to live?" She asked with a grave voice.
"Ah, ah, I, uh, ah, want… ah, to… live." Jaune gasped out in a faint whisper as a visible - through the clear icicle - white glow pulsed throughout his wound.
Ruby, stunned at the conversation that took place before her, watched on as he stopped bleeding.
Thanks for reading! I'm always open to feedback so please leave a review, or reply in my forum, about what you liked or hated about this chapter or the whole story. If anyone wants to be a Beta Reader then PM me and we'll talk details.
So this chapter took a while to write, regardless of my usual writing pace, I had trouble even thinking of how to continue the story and where we could pick up this chapter at. A few ideas swam in my head before being rejected, and eventually I wrote this one. It's slightly longer than usual because Yang's recap took up a large chunk of it and I didn't want to only post that.
Also I'm sorry for the sudden POV change from Yang to Ruby, but I'm limiting line breaks to resets and for the end of chapters only. In this story it signifies the flow of time being cut off abruptly.
And I promise the next chapter will begin Jaune's life as a Beacon Student, hopefully anyways.
I debated making OCs for Yang's and Ruby's friends, but I decided against it. So disregard any canon mentions of their existence.