After that day Edward still let Bella see Jacob, but he dropped her off at the reservation's border and left before Jacob even arrived. It had been days since their encounter in the tree, and Jacob could once again barely eat. He was going insane, but he couldn't force it when Edward clearly didn't want to see him.

"He just wants me to have some alone time with you too," Bella smiled one morning, "everything he does isn't malicious even though you don't like him."

Jacob cringed, Edward didn't want to see him, but he was so confused about what had even happened. Edward had clearly responded to Jacob's advances, but had he simply gotten caught up in the moment? With every passing day Jacob got more and more sure he'd mostly imagined the whole thing. Maybe Edward simply got aroused by the erotic nature of the fantasy, and not because it was Jacob. Maybe he'd even imagined Bella in his place? No, that was a stretch. Wasn't it? Fuck.

Jacob felt like a complete mess. In fact, he had once again been unable to sleep for several nights in a row, and he was starting to feel desperate. He needed to tell someone his secret, and even though it was unfair to Bella, he couldn't keep it in anymore.

"I don't dislike Edward," Jacob started, walking with Bella down the beach of La Push.

Bella frowned, contorting her usually cute face into a disbelieving look, "Because you hate him, right?" She chuckled, obviously thinking she got his joke before he finished it.

"No, I'm serious Bella," Jacob said carefully, "I… I have to tell you something," There was an overly dramatic silence, and Bella glanced over at him.

"Are you sick? Because you're acting really strange," Bella looked genuinely worried, and stopped in her tracks, glaring at him.

"I don't know how to tell you this… It doesn't mean I want to ruin anything for you or… shit," what was he even rambling on about? He had dreaded her finding out ever since the day it happened. The whole situation was unfair to Bella. She shouldn't have to worry about her best friend falling for her boyfriend. It was messed up in so many ways.

"This is as hard as I imagined," Jacob said under his breath, sighing.

Bella placed her dainty hands on Jacob's biceps, and Jacob wondered why he ever found that appealing before. Edward's hands were much larger, soft but rough in a way that Bella's weren't. Jacob didn't feel like he had to be careful not to break him.

"Jacob, you're scaring me. Is something wrong?"

Jacob avoided her questioning eyes, "Well, I guess… Or, nothing's really wrong but I, well I imprinted on–"

A light lit up in Bella's eyes, "You imprinted? But isn't that great news? That's a really huge deal, why wouldn't you tell me? When did it happen?" She paused for a second, seemingly realizing why he could be hiding it from her, "Not on me, right? Is it someone I know? It's not Angela or Jessica, is it? That would be weird, or… not weird of course, but it would take some getting used–"

"Bella," Jacob interrupted, "It's not… well I imprinted on…" He couldn't get the words to leave his mouth.

"On? Out with it!" Bella whined, looking more concerned the longer he hesitated.

"Edward… I imprinted on Edward." The words hung in the air for a moment, as Bella contorted her face into a few different contemplating expressions. She had every right to be furious, to not want to be friends with him anymore. Jacob wouldn't want to be friends with him if he was in her shoes. If he had Edward, and someone wanted to steal him away, he didn't know what he'd do.

"But, how does that even work?" Bella questioned, "I mean, you're not gay, right? Is it more like a brotherly bond?"

"No," Jacob started involuntarily at the words brotherly bond. The thought made him cringe in disgust because what he wanted to do with Edward was far from brotherly.

"I'm not… like that," he started defensively, out of habit, but wasn't he? He loved Edward and longed for him and only him, so didn't that for all intents and purposes make him… gay? Could he ever say that out loud and be fine with it?

"It's been confusing," Jacob said apprehensively, "I just want… to make Edward happy."

Bella blinked slowly, "So you want to be his friend then?" She asked, and let out a disbelieving chuckle, "I never thought I'd live to see the day, or be dead to see it for that matter." She laughed at her own vampire joke, but Jacob didn't find it particularly amusing.

Bella let her arms slide down to Jacob's hands, pulling him as she sat down on the sand. He let her drag him, despite barely even feeling her pull, and then they sat there looking out across the water. Wasn't she very calm about this whole thing?

"You want to make him happy?" Bella sighed, "That feels like such an unachievable feat sometimes. I feel like he's so unhappy, and there's nothing I can do to fix him," Bella looked down at her hands.

Jacob understood the sentiment; Edward almost never smiled, and his laughs were mostly halfhearted chuckles or sarcastic scoffs. There were clearly a lot of things Jacob didn't know about Edward's past, but he suspected it wasn't an easy one, and he suspected that Bella didn't know too much either. But Jacob wanted to make it his life mission to learn everything, and to make each day happier than the previous one, but he needed Bella to do that.

"You make him happy," Jacob said listlessly.

Bella frowned, "And that worries me sometimes…" she said, trailing off into thought.

"Are you over this thing with me then?" Bella seemed to snap back into reality, "Because I don't think stealing Edward's girlfriend would make him very happy." She laughed, but Jacob felt a sting in his chest. He didn't love Bella anymore, that much was true, but he also didn't really wish her the best in her relationship with Edward.

He had always thought imprinting would make him want for the other person's happiness, no matter if it involved him, but that didn't seem to be the case. How could it, when he wanted nothing more than for Edward to leave Bella and be with him instead? Despite what happened the other day, that would never be something Edward would want. Before he'd accepted his situation even Jacob had thought it was disgusting.

"Yeah I'll leave you alone, Bells," Jacob murmured, "as long as you keep him happy…"

Bella hesitated, "How do I do that, Jake?"

Wasn't just being herself enough? Being a woman, a normal human woman who could be a wife and a mother? Who could give him the life he'd probably wanted for all those years of living. And why would she ask Jacob, of all people, who had done nothing but make Edward miserable?

Bella stared blankly out into the horizon, as they sat in silence for a moment.