They had sat on the beach for a while in silence when Bella looked over at Jacob and frowned a little. "I probably shouldn't tell you this…" she started, "But since the situation is different now… I don't know, maybe you should know."

"Now you're the one making me nervous," Jacob feigned a laugh.

The corner of Bella's mouth twitched, but she didn't smile. "It's just… I don't know if I can promise him forever, Jake... I don't even know if I'll feel the same once I'm turned, let alone for the rest of eternity. I'm young, you know, and I haven't even…" she trailed off.

Edward deserved forever, he deserved more than that, but she didn't know if she could give it? Jacob didn't expect the conversation to go in the direction it had, but now he felt he'd heard something private that he wasn't supposed to know.

"I don't think becoming… like them," Jacob didn't know how to address vampires anymore. His instinct was to be cruel, but Edward was one of them… "I don't think it's going to change your feelings."

Bella sighed, "But I sometimes wonder if I really love him, or if I just want to become one of them, you know? Would I have felt the same if Emmet was the one? Or Jasper?" Bella looked over at him and waited for an answer that Jacob couldn't give. He felt frozen in place. He didn't know how to respond to that line of questioning. The whole situation felt absurd. How could anyone even consider leaving Edward? Let alone equate him to anyone else.

"You can't really mean that?" Jacob asked sternly. He should be feeling relieved that his… rival… wasn't as attached as he thought, but he couldn't get himself to look past the heartbreak Edward would be facing if Bella left. Listening to her say this about his mate was agony. Why was Bella even telling him this?

"This imprint thing" Bella hesitated, "it means you'll watch over him, right? No matter what happens with me?"

"Bella… he loves you…" The words stung on his lips.

"It's just that it's so clear to me, Jake," Bella almost gasped, "I'm meant to become one of them, that's my destiny, but I don't want to feel obliged to love him so that he'll change me."

Obliged? Jacob suddenly felt his whole being vibrate in exasperation. She felt obliged to be with Edward, when Jacob craved it? She wanted to be free when Jacob longed for nothing more than to be bound.

"I don't know what to tell you, Bells," Jacob said as calmly as possible, "I don't want him to get hurt."

Bella looked over at him, "That sounds ridiculous coming from you," she laughed, but once it was clear that Jacob wouldn't join in, her expression turned blank. "I didn't say I'd leave him or anything, I love him, I do… but I just can't tell how I'll feel in the future." She grabbed a handful of sand and let the grains spill through her fingers.

Jacob knew how he'd feel in the future. He would love Edward now and into eternity, and he wasn't even that scared of the thought anymore.

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" Bella exclaimed, and Jacob realized he'd been glaring at her for quite some time, "I wasn't going to tell you, but I just thought…" She hesitated. What exactly did she think? "You're not going to tell him, are you?"

"Relax, Bells," Jacob muttered, "I don't want to hurt him, remember?" He really didn't. It was true that he didn't want to see Edward with Bella, and he'd wished for them to break up and for Edward to be with him, but now all Jacob could think about was Edward's heart being broken. Maybe he did want Edward to be happy with somebody else after all? No… not really, but he didn't want him to be sad. Fuck, this was too convoluted.

Bella looked relieved and tossed a little rock out into the waves before them. "So, when did this imprinting thing happen then?"

Jacob considered lying, but decided against it, "It happened the day before I got… sick… a couple of weeks ago." He started fidgeting with his hand in the sand next to him.

"So you weren't actually sick?!" Bella gasped, "I was so worried!"

"I wasn't exactly sick, but if I stay away from Edward too long I… Well I don't feel so good, I can't sleep…" can't breath, can't live… but he wasn't going to say that to Bella.

"Oh," Bella said softly with a contemplative look in her eyes, "But what about now? It's been days since all of us hung out, don't you feel bad?"

Jacob gripped a handful of sand, "I've been better," he said woefully.

"But why haven't you just…" She stopped to think, "He must know, he can read your mind… so why haven't you just told him to join us? He's not cruel, he'd do it."

"It's complicated, Bells," Jacob squeezed the sand harder. She obviously didn't understand the gravity of the situation, and Jacob didn't feel like correcting that. He didn't feel like telling her that he wanted more than friendship with Edward, or that he wanted what she had. Was he ashamed? He'd surely been ashamed a few weeks ago, but he thought the feeling had dissipated the more time he spent with Edward. Maybe Edward's absence caused the feeling to come back?

"What's complicated about it? Edward reads minds! He must know that you don't have any bad intentions anymore, despite how badly you two got on in the past…"

"He just really doesn't like me, so–" He didn't, right?

"I'll tell him to do it!" Bella interrupted. Jacob was about to contravene, but wasn't this really what he wanted her to say all along? It felt slightly manipulative, but he needed to see Edward again. Now.

"I even know somewhere we could bring him that he hasn't been before! I'll tell him to meet us at the border!"

Bella had a devious look in her usually innocent eyes, and Jacob knew this would be a bad idea.