A/N: Third and final part of this Garret /Bella set of stories. Twenty more years have passed, but has anything changed? xx Alexis
Bella
It's now June the first and I have out of the blue received a missive, but not in the mail. Oh no, it was actually a highly ornate hand-delivered one. Brought here to America by a very pleasant Volturi guard called Simon. Had Garrett told them we moved to New York State? It was just two years after the last tournament and I loved it here. It was quiet and peaceful in Urbana and quite central for getting to other places to feed. New York, of course, was close well for a vampire it was. Plus we could head for Hamilton in Canada via Tonawanda. We've even been to the Riviera Theatre there and that's one hell of a chandelier! But if we stayed stateside and chose Buffalo we passed through Lackawanna, I love going to the Botanical Gardens there, plants are so soothing and wonderful, even to us.
Anyway, Simon stayed for more than a couple of hours chatting to Garrett, before heading to New York to pick up something for Sulpicia Volturi. Killing two birds with one stone, type of thing I guess. Athenodora herself had written to me and damn it, it was about this year's upcoming Tournament. I hadn't realised that it had been twenty years already and she wanted me to host it! Me! Shit, shit, shit! Where would we put everyone, what a nightmare? I didn't want loads of people trampling through our house, our things! What will we do? Where do we put them? This house is far too small and now I can feel myself starting to panic and I don't like the feeling at all. I heard Garrett pounding feet as he ran towards me wondering what the hell had set me off!
"Calm down Liberty, I could feel you from the barn! What's wrong?" Garrett asked wrapping his arms around me and calming me just with his touch alone,
I hand over the letter and he nods once, just nods before picking me up and sitting down on the sofa with me in his lap.
"Well okay, we were going to build a bigger place anyway. So I'll get started with that tomorrow and make sure it's big enough for everyone. Who will stay do you think?" he asks as calm as all get out,
That's when I realise I'm being silly, this is doable and I'm a damned vampire so it can be done at speed.
"So you and I are in the new master suite on the top floor, all alone, no exceptions. I want that area to be strictly no access to anyone but us. How about a lift system for our use only to the top floor, from inside the indoor courtyard, I'll leave that up to you. It wouldn't cut off any room from the floor below us as there is no centre to it anyway.
On that floor underneath us, on the North side, put two extra large separate one-bedroom suites for Caius and Dora and Carmen and Eleazar. On the West, how about a large double suite for the Whitlocks, Jasper projects too much, so make him take the one furthest away from our bedroom above. I hate when he's too close to us!" I explain and bristle just saying his name,
I know Garrett sees it but he makes no comment, so I continue.
"Carlisle and Esme and their brood can share a large four-bedroom suite on the South side of the floor, two double two singles you know. Put the singles for Alice and Edward furthest away from our room too. I don't want Edward anywhere near us either. And finally, the three Denali sisters can go in one large three-bedroom suite on the East side of the floor. You can work out the dimensions for each and we can always change them later, after the tournament" I muse and he nods along with my ideas,
"Here could be used for the Volturi entourage whoever comes this time and any mated couples like Charles and Makenna and then any nomads wanting to freshen up, instead of fighting for a shower in the main house, can use the mudroom in the barn. Plus the loft can accommodate at least two couples or whatever configuration. How does that sound?" I say in a rush as it all comes to me,
"Sounds like you were panicking for nothing Liberty!" he says with a smirk and I swat him,
"Soundproofing between each floor, double between us and them and no huge plate-glass windows, open archways into the courtyard will be fine. I want it to be warm and cosy like the Denali's home was not all open-plan and cold like I remember the Forks' house being. Lots of quiet spaces please" I remind him,
"Your wish is my command, my lady," he says tugging his forelock cheekily,
"So can I call in some help, we could do it in six months, but we'd get no time together to relax!" he continues by enquiring and I reluctantly agree,
"I'm still getting my stained glass oval dome right?" I ask purring at him,
"Yes, my angel. You'll get your dome" he replies kissing me passionately,
I so desperately wanted a glass dome on our roof, but it would be seen from the courtyard on the ground floor, as well as the circular walkway on the floor above. A stained glass one like on the Titanic, it'll be all gold paint and leaded glass and so romantic. Our suite will be the only thing up there; the space to be divided into three. One will be the en-suite with closets and storage. Another will be a private sitting room. Our bedroom will be the other facing east, so we see the sunrise every day and have a small balcony for sitting out on. That way we'll get uninterrupted views from all sides of the suite and light being diffused by the dome through internal windows in the centre but not behind the bed, it will be just perfect. But as I said, no large windows, they are unnecessary and to me a little tacky.
Yes, my new home will be circular in design and made from mainly wood. I want it to blend into our surroundings, not stand out. Basically a three-storey roundhouse, with each floor a little smaller than the one below it. That way the floor below us can also have small balconies.
"So who are you calling to come and help you?" I ask, but I kinda know,
"The Whitlocks! Peter and the Major can help me and you can bounce ideas off, Char and Heidi. Take them shopping for all the things we'll need, you know I'm useless at that kind of stuff Liberty! They'll maybe spot things you missed, especially Heidi she knows what's expected by Lady Dora" Garrett says very slightly nervously,
Over the last twenty years, we've seen them but Jasper and I have had a very cool relationship. Okay, it's frosty on my end; I just can't seem to let it go. To me, his trickery was worse than everyone else's, except for Alice. They were children playing at being grownups, but he should have known better. He was the empath, surely he knew how I felt, how insecure I was, how out of my depth I really was. But instead of being my friend, my brother, he played with my emotions for his own gain. Not that his plan actually worked, because I the oblivious virgin, wasn't aware of his hidden agenda! We're at that strange, strained acquaintance stage, you know the one! He asks how I am and I say good. Then I ask how are you and he says great and that's about it really.
He doesn't push and I don't try at all. Garrett thinks I should rise above it and forgive him, but I can't seem to do it. Was it because he played with my emotions, my psyche, that inner part that no one has the right to know? I hate not knowing if some of my feelings were manufactured by him and not my own! How long did he have me living a lie? This is what I can't get past and I haven't even told Garrett! It's the not knowing, the did I feel that or did he make me, conundrum, that has been driving me insane! Oh, Garrett knows there is more to it than I have ever said, but he didn't push me or dig away at it like a sore. No, it's like he knew that would have been the final blow to my delicate sensibilities back then. That's one of the things I love about him, he respects me above all else.
I suppose I should tell him, I just couldn't before, but it's been over twenty years and maybe a problem shared will be a problem halved. Maybe later, it might give him an insight into what I think and believe. I better say something before they arrive, that's for sure. Why do I have to do this? What about all the others? Hell, I expected Heidi to be doing the tournament next, not me! I feel as if the world is conspiring against me. I know it's not, but I get to feel that way. Why? Because at least I know these are my feelings and not some fake manufactured ones! The bottom line is I don't trust Jasper and I would never put mine or Garrett's life in his hands, ever! He may be the great Major in other's eyes, but to me, he was just a sneaky guy trying to use me to get his rocks off and I'm having trouble forgiving or forgetting!
Garrett
I really hope Liberty isn't too angry with me. I know she needs to get this all off her chest; it's been far too long! That's why I've suggested the Whitlocks come and help me out. I want her to tell me what's really been bothering her all this time. It's time the Major got his head out of his ass, he did far more damage than he believes, they all did! I know her enough to see she has been second-guessing and overthinking it for years. She doesn't need to tell me, but I love her and understand how her mind works. She doesn't know what was real or contrived and it is eating away at her, more and more as each year passes. Her self-confidence was zero when we first got together. For fucks sake she asked for my permission for everything when I first turned her, that's so wrong!
At first, I was angry with Carlisle, but it became apparent neither he nor Esme was aware of this; they were so upset for her when I explain everything. But I know now Edward, Alice and Rose were the cause of that and neither Emmett nor the Major did anything to stop it from happening. So it's beyond high time he cleaned up this mess and made some amends for allowing the others to treat her like a house pet. From what little I've gathered over the years from Emmett, Esme and Carlisle it was a cluster-fuck of epic proportions. He, Emmett that is, has tried to talk to her, but even he wasn't aware of most of what was going on back then. The same for Esme ad Carlisle, so it's up to the Major because Alice can't and I doubt Rose or Edward would ever admit to half of what they did!
As it is, Edward is sailing so close to the sun, I'm surprised he hasn't burst into flames. Esme ripped out his tongue when he started to try and tell Alice about her real past. Even threatened by Caius Volturi himself hadn't stopped the asshole. She kept it for five years, well I did and he didn't dare come looking for it. Has it helped, who knows? We never see him; Esme and Carlisle visit us alone. While Emmett watches over Alice and keeps Edward under control. He also visits alone, not wishing to inflict Rose on Liberty at all. Apparently, she has changed somewhat, but I doubt it's much more than to appease her mate. If they would all just own up to their part in this it would have been dealt with long ago. But no, they all just pussyfoot around, only taking the blame for their own parts and never considering the whole thing.
Never thinking how it all played on the mind of the then-human Liberty. But I've had enough, this time, this tournament. It gets sorted once and for all! Because if it doesn't I'm prepared to stop talking, seeing having anything to do with them all for eternity for my mate's sanity! They all, except Alice need to realise what damage they did to her back then and have the decency to apologise for it. Because she is the injured party here and I will defend her with my life.
Peter
Fuck! Fuck and double fuckin' hell! I didn't need all that information, I just got an idea Garrett would be askin' us for help. They're holdin' the Tournament this year, as requested by Athenodora Volturi herself. Then I'm bombarded with an influx of wrongs to be righted and I'm with Garrett on this one, the Major has been shirkin' his duty. He probably don't realise just how much damage he did to that poor girl! I still can't believe he had stooped so low! Playin' with the mind and emotions of a human girl, a girl who was supposed to be his family, his future sister! Maybe it's time for him to confess his sins to Heidi and see what she has to say! Because I know he just skirted over it and like the rest of them, he don't see how bad his part was. When in truth he did the worst amount of damage!
They played on her insecurities and self-esteem; he went deeper and played around with her fragile psyche and with her body's reactions! Not cool, not nice at all and not right by any standards. If he was that fed up with Alice and the Cullens he should have left, not taken out his frustrations on a child! Because back then that's all she was compared to him a human child! He could have really fucked up her head and maybe if she'd come gunnin' for him he'd see the damage he caused. Time for his mate to find out why Bella don't care for him at all. He doesn't understand because he's never had someone control his mind that way, his body yes for years, but his thoughts and feelings were his own. Unlike Bell, she had no idea which were her own and which were purposely made up by him!
Jasper
I have made many mistakes in my life, but this one is the most atrocious! Not just in its enormity, but because it was so beneath me to do so. Also, the fact it was against a human, no a human girl is what really grates on the nerves. I don't even know why I did it, what did I expect to happen? That the besotted virgin would turn to me for sexual relief, from the frustration I caused her? It was never goin' to happen and maybe that was why, jealousy plain and simple. She was goin' to give herself to that prude, a foolish boy who couldn't find a woman's clitoris with a map and a compass! But from all that Peter is sayin' that's not why she hates me at all. It's the fact she has conflictin' knowledge of which emotions back then were her own! She can't be sure which decisions were hers or which were influenced by me!
I only ever played with her sexual emotions and occasionally calmed her down or boosted her confidence. Mainly when I thought she would explode over Rose or Alice. Why for peace that's why? I was so sick of their drama and it looks like I took all my frustrations out on Bella. I really should have left long before I did, but I became complacent and lazy. I had little or nothin' to do, no one to dictate my path or any path to follow. Oh, Alice tried, she tried very hard but I only did the bare minimum of what she demanded of me. Like the clothes, they barely registered with me so it was easy. The accent now that was different, I just hardly spoke to those who looked down on it. But in my mind well that was pure Texas and guess who got to hear that?
Yeah, Edward heard and Alice saw it. I did it just to bug them as much as possible. But Alice wanted her hands on the money too and that was a step too far for me. So Peter took charge of it all and I thanked God for that! I have been taken to task several times by Charlotte for what I did to Bella but wasn't really graspin' the severity of it. I was just thinkin' it was Bella's hurt pride and her bein' insulted from my behaviour that night, that night she proved she was more of an adult than any of us! But once Heidi found out she was horrified and did somethin' that made it sink in at long last! She used her allure on me; because we are mates it usually doesn't affect me. But if she intentionally does it, oh it works just fine! That made me sit up and pay attention, doin' things knowingly against my will was beyond scary.
It gave me a little insight into just how Bella or anyone might have felt when I manipulated their emotions. Heidi did this for a week, not the four years I had been hurtin' Bella by manipulatin' her to suit the family! Yes, I know now I was actually hurtin' her, emotionally abusin' her. That is as bad as any other kind of abuse and I'm ashamed! Peter has told us Garret and Bella are to hold the tournament this year and I want to clear the air once and for all. I will apologise on my knees if I have to, this has gone on for far too long because of my absolute ignorance. I'm goin' to write to Bella a much more heartfelt letter than before and send her a gift I know she'll like. Beggin' her to sit down and talk with me finally. I will have to try and prove I did nothin' more than enhance the feelin's she already had.
Those one's for Edward and just boostin' her confidence in the beginnin'. Later yes, I just made her feel horny all the time, causin' her extreme frustration. But I never made her feel or do anythin' that was she didn't already feel! Nothin' was manufactured by me they were all feelin's she had and I just exaggerated them. God, what a mess and I know now with every year that's passed she has become more obsessed with those emotions and that is truly my fault. She has been nitpickin' every interaction she ever had with all of them when I was around! Basically was it what she really felt or what I had made her feel but the sad part was I never actually even tried because she was human! I knew that would be too much for her to handle. Humans can't really cope with that kind of interference; they need to be nudged not forced.
Bella
"Garrett honey, have you called them?" I asked knowing now was the time to tell him everything,
"Yup, we start in two weeks. Is that okay?" he replies watching me closely,
I was dressed in denim for once, a jacket and matching shorts combo, with a red tank under the jacket. On my feet were denim Casadei blade stiletto ankle boots to finish the look off. They were casual in my mind with the peep toe and chain detail. I was feeling confident and for once ready to tell him my biggest fear. I really never grasped the importance of clothes when I was human; they were something to hide behind. But now as a vampire of twenty-four years, they were so much more, an extension of myself really. Not in the obsessive way Alice used to dress or the overtly sex-driven way Rose did either. Garrett said he could tell my mood by what I wore now and I guess he's right. So today I was casual, relaxed, and ready for a long overdue talk with my mate. Though I have a feeling he knows more than he ever says!
"How about a walk down by the lake? I have something I want to explain, but I'm sure you know some of this already" I say taking his arm and breathing in his scent which always centres me,
"Lead on Liberty, I'll always follow you, no matter where," he tells me and I know he's reassuring me,
If I wanted to up and leave here and never return he would go with me no questions asked. But it's time to stop running from myself and finally face my demons or should that just be one demon... Jasper Whitlock?
Crazily nothing Edward did really bothered me anymore. The same with Alice, she had been dealt with and Rose's antics were beneath me and not worth my attention. So that just left him and his, to my mind invasive gift. That was really the crux of the matter; he could get to me back then, manipulate me back then when I trusted him! Not now though, I never allow him to feel anything from me at all, I shield myself constantly when he's around. I know he hates it and that's the reason I needed to keep it up. It was my only way of punishing him for what I thought and felt he's done to me. Am I going overboard, maybe? I just wish I knew the truth and more than this that I could trust him to not lie about it! God, I'm a pathetic mess, how can Garrett stand it?
The boots from the cover picture are Embellished Cowboy boots by Philipp Plein; priced at $5,802 (£4,665) in Apr 2023. The conversion was correct on the day of writing this story. The Casadei denim ones are $1,665 (£987) approx.