15
Sasuke gets his first letter from Sakura on the frontlines at 15, it had been sent when he was still 14. Bodies seemed to line up fast while letters and news of home traveled slow, leaving moral at an all time low.
The thick envelope contains a piece of fabric with his clan symbol embroidered into it, along with a stringent message.
You left without saying goodbye. You better come back alive, Uchiha Sasuke.
Sasuke's eyes trace over her cursive lettering, similar to the style they had all been taught but the way the letters curved had her own flair to it. He had stared at the words so long he thinks he has memorized the spacing and the loops. Alone in his single man tent, stationed next to his fathers and elder brothers he blows out his candle for the night and clutches the fabric she had sent him, reminiscing on simpler times and of laughter shared by the Konoha riverbed.
He makes his first kill in the winter when he is 15.
It's cold outside, his cheeks are red from the frigid weather. But his body is heated, his blood is pumping after a small battle, an ambush from Wind Country. Sasuke reasons it was self defense. It was either him or the dead man bleeding out in front of him. He feels the talisman Sakura had sent him months ago burn a hole through the pocket where he has it tucked near his chest.
His father pats him on the back at the camps dinner that evening. Most of the men are bloodied and worn out. Sasuke feels no gratification, no pride in himself, if anything he feels disgust for having to slaughter, possibly, an innocent man who had been sent to battle just as he has.
Sasuke doesn't eat that night, giving his dinner rations to one of his cousins before retiring to his tent. Itachi visits him after dinner.
"The first is always the hardest."
His brother pulls a small flask from his breast pocket.
"Have some, it will help you sleep tonight."
Sasuke looks down the mouth piece to the amber liquid sloshing around inside. He grimaces as he takes a long gulp of the harsh liquid.
"I'm sorry you are here Sasuke." Itachi tells him solemnly before collecting his flask back and lifting the flap to exit his tent.
Sakura works between three healing huts on the outskirts of Konoha. Her and her Aunt work tirelessly day and night to cater to the wounded and the sick. It's winter and with the war also going on illness has only multiplied. Between soldiers and civilians Sakura is spread thin and has never felt so detached from reality.
She's numb to the amount of bodies, both from injured soldiers and sick civilians that they have to warrant death certificates for. If she had thought she had seen death, she now thinks she's looking daily at the grim reaper walking through the streets of Konoha.
Sometimes her mind will flit to thoughts of Sasuke and where he is, or what he's doing but then she becomes mad. He hadn't had the audacity to say goodbye to her, too much a coward. Whenever this happens she busies herself with a different train of thought.
When she's allowed to sleep she dreams of nothingness. It's a blessing really, because every day she sees, hears, smells the embodiment of nightmares.
16
The spring Sasuke is 16 he loses his only brother in battle.
Sasuke watches as three or maybe ten healers tend to his bloodied and wounded elder brother. Sasuke knows Itachi is not going to make it. He had seen the blow from across the battlefield. A Suna soldier stabbed his sword through his brother at a vital point. Itachi had his back to this Suna soldier making it a dishonorable kill on the soldiers part. But this was war and there was nothing honorable about it. Sasuke had learned this very quickly.
Itachi's coloring has faded. He looks so pale on the healing tents operating table. Sasuke observes the shallow breaths he takes along with the compressions a healer is administering. The hole in his body where he was stabbed is bleeding through bandages at a rapid pace. The healer who is applying force to the wound is having to remove soiled bandages for new bandages every other minute.
Their father enters the tent pushing aside the thick flaps for entry.
"Where is he?" His father booms into the tent and storms over to his eldest sons side.
The healer doing compressions stops and shakes her head solemnly. Sasuke looks at his brother's chest for any sign of movement to see him still, lifeless.
Sasuke has never seen his father shed a tear in the sixteen years he has been his son. When he sees his father clutching one of Itachi's cold lifeless hands, his eyes shut and tears streaming down the sides of his face, does Sasuke leave the healing tent. He can't be there. He runs off outside of their encampment. Sasuke slips on a grassy knoll, the Earth is wet from a recent springtime rainfall. He doesn't bother getting up, instead opting to crouch down face first into the mud releasing an anguished cry over the loss of one of the most important people in his life. He stays there, crying into the muddy grass for what feels like hours. He hears a set of footsteps approach and for once he doesn't care if he dies here. In fact he kind of hopes someone would end his misery so the war would be over and no one else has to die.
"Sasuke."
It's only Naruto. Some of the Uzumaki clan had ended up joining with their specific encampment for this ambush.
"Let's head back."
Sasuke is too tired to refute him, too tired to be angry, too tired to utter any words. So he stands up and brushes away some of the mud that had soaked through the fabric of his uniform pants and walks back with Naruto. He retires in his tent, failing to sleep. He reaches into his breast pocket and holds onto the talisman Sakura had sent a year ago. He thinks of her briefly as he tries to will himself to sleep so this nightmare of a day would end, even if only for an hour. He thinks of her having to do the same thing the healers did for his brother and countless other soldiers. Of her seeing the same horrors of war as he was, instead of taking apart and breaking she is mending and fixing.
He thinks as sleep finally washes over him, maybe she could fix him.
17
The healing hut is roasting. Sakura is sweating through her dress and her medical apron. Konoha summers were historically brutal but this was like hell had taken over the Earth, the heat was unbearable.
Her Aunt tells her what she hears from the adult members of court and other army officials, apparently there are talks between Minato Uzumaki and the Emperor of Suna. The war may be ending soon. Sakura will only believe it when she no longer sees any Suna or Konoha uniforms being carted into Konoha healing huts.
It's evening and she's still healing patients and doing final rounds before walking back to her Aunt's estate. As she checks on a chart for a Suna soldier she notices his bed is empty. She turns around and finds the very soldier looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
"You really should be resting." Sakura says, motioning for him to lay back in his assigned bed.
"I don't have to do anything. 'Specially if a Konoha woman is telling me to do it." The man spits. He's older for a soldier, Sakura knows from his sheet that he's in his mid forties.
"Fine, open up your wound and get out of my sight." Sakura spits back, not daring to take any verbal abuse from a foul man.
She turns on her heel to head off to a different area of the large healing hut, only to feel a hand grasp onto her wrist effectively stopping her. A pit forms in her stomach. She thinks this was the moment she pissed off the wrong person. The man pushes her hand into her back painfully, rendering her arm useless. She thinks quickly on her feet and uses her leg to kick him between his legs. She had thought that would give her some time to escape his grasp but she finds his hand still gripping onto her shoulder by her dress.
"Ah! A lively Konoha bitch then!"
The man reaches for a medical tool on a nearby surface. Sakura is facing him with his hand on her shoulder as he tries to slice her face with the scalpel he had grabbed onto. He misses her face when she gets out of his reach. Sakura doesn't avoid him all the way because the scalpel still slices through her dress and cuts the skin near her rib cage. She can feel the warm blood dripping down her torso, as she keeps evading his advances.
The man corners her in a back corner of the large hut. Sakura finally reaches what she had been trying to get this whole time. Into her boot she grasps onto the gift Sasuke had given her years ago. When the man makes a move to stab her once again she lunges at the artery on his femur. She hits it directly and the scalpel the man had been holding cuts through the tarp of the tent behind her.
The terrible man collapses in a pool of his own blood. Sakura steps over his body and crouches to the ground, grappling with what had just transpired. Instead of using her abilities to heal. She has just killed a man. Granted it was out of self defense but she had let a man die by her own devices. Her breathing becomes rushed and ragged as she tries to calm down and find someone to help her clean up the mess she finds herself in, failing to feel the blood or injury at her ribcage, shock washes over her. Her vision clouds, as a medic who finally walks by the area Sakura had been in, they muffle something out to her. She feels herself collapse to the floor, her hand is still wrapped around the dagger with the dirtied blade that Sasuke had gifted her.
17 ½
All the members of the court, young, old, and every age in between sit around a banquet to celebrate the end of the war between Konoha and Suna. Minato Uzumaki had been the key to repairing relations and forming an alliance and safe trade routes for both nations so they could get the goods and services they needed without stepping on the others toes. Minato is rightfully voted by the elders of Konoha as the next Emperor.
Sakura stares at the food on her plate before her, trying her damndest to not look across the room at the boy who had left her nearly three long years ago. Except from her few quick glances he is no longer a boy. He had grown taller, broader and from what she can tell-stronger.
She can feel his dark eyes on her. She chances a brief glance towards him. He had been looking at her, shifting his gaze to a different corner of the room once she had made eye contact.
The dinner goes off without a hitch, besides missed glances from across the way, between Sakura and her old friend. Once the dancing part of the evening arrives Sakura moves to the dance floor after siphoning a bottle of sake from her Aunt. She's feeling bubbly and light with the alcohol coursing through her veins.
Naruto ends up dancing with her at some point. They fall into an easy rhythm. It was like a war had never happened as they danced on the floor and the musicians play loudly over the uproarious drunken atmosphere. As he spins her around she tells Naruto she had missed him. Halfway through his spin she sees Sasuke still seated at his spot from dinner, drinking a glass of wine at the table. They make eye contact for the briefest of moments. She follows him with her gaze as he stands and walks out of the banquet hall, out towards a small corridor.
The song ends and Naruto embraces her in a hug, telling her he had missed her too. Sakura pats him on the shoulder and dazedly hobbles towards the corridor where she had seen Sasuke head towards. The noise of loud party goers- and the music playing is loud but once she steps into the threshold of the corridor it is muted and she feels she can hear again.
Sakura finds Sasuke staring out a window from the second floor corridor. He's staring out at an almond tree, clutching his glass of wine as he does so. Sakura can't help herself. She finds herself alone with him and she feels angry. She's angry he left to fight. She's angry he gifted her the very dagger she had used to kill a man, and she's angry because she has never felt so conflicted about a person before. She had missed him so much but she still wants to ring his neck for leaving without saying goodbye. Her mouth voices the final thought she had meant to keep to herself, alcohol loosening her words.
"Pardon?" He asks, still facing out towards the window.
"I said you left without saying goodbye." He turns away from the window and storms over to her. Getting in her face.
"I left for a war that I didn't want to fight in. I lost my brother, kin, and my sense of self. I had to kill innocent men who were obligated to fight by their country much like I was. And you are mad at me because I did not say goodbye to you?"
He's looking down at her. When he had left three years ago they were nearly the same height. Now he towers over her. She can feel his body heat radiating off of him.
"Itachi is gone?" She asks, her voice just above a whisper. Sakura had not been informed of this.
"I watched him die. There was nothing that could have been done." Sakura finds herself wanting to reach out. Embrace this boy who had lost so much. One of his closest people, murdered before him. She can hardly imagine.
Except she can.
She had killed someone with her own hands. Had seen countless soldiers and civilians die weekly from illness or injuries. Instead of sympathy her anger manifests. The alcohol aids in her anger, a fuel to a flame.
Sakura stomps her foot and shakes her head side to side. A few strands of pink hair fall from her perfectly placed up-do. She looks down at the tiled floor as she rips into him.
"You think I sat here every day doing nothing? I saw death every day! I healed enemies, I lost comrades. I healed and worked until my feet and hands were blistered and raw. I-I…" She stutters and tears form in her eyes. "I killed a man, with the very dagger you gifted me. I dirtied my soul just like I dirtied that blade." Tears fall freely down her face, droplets hitting the tile. The sheen of moisture visible on the floor. He hadn't moved. Listening to her speak respectfully.
When she finally looks up at him she can't decipher what he's feeling, what he's thinking. Sasuke leans forward, closes his eyes and presses his lips to hers harshly. Her eyes open wide as she pauses for the briefest moment, relishing in the moment. Before she even begins to process what is happening she finds her hands pushing against his chest to get him off of her.
"What the hell Sasuke?!"
She could taste the rice wine on his lips. But she doesn't think it was the alcohol that made him kiss her. She thinks this had been something he had wanted to do for a long time. The emotion behind the force of his lips on hers had said as much.
His eyes shut and he pinches the bridge of his nose, his inky hair shakes as he collects himself.
"I apologize. I had to know."
"You had to know what?" Sakura asks with determination painted on her face.
"Sakura-chan!"
Sasuke and Sakura both turn their bodies towards the third voice that had suddenly joined them within the corridor.
Naruto ventures further towards his two long time friends. Giving a strange glance between the two of them.
"Your Aunt is leaving and wishes for you to escort her back to the estate." Naruto informs Sakura.
Sakura nods and looks between the two men and walks off towards the front gate of the palace where the celebration had been held. She meets her Aunt who is holding onto a large marble pillar to steady herself on the entry steps into the palace.
"You're drunk." Sakura observes aloud.
"I need your help getting home."
Sakura sighs. Ever since the death of Tsunade's Uncle and all the healing efforts her Aunt had provided during the war she had not been the same. Tsunade had fallen into an affair with the bottle. Sakura had tried to dump all the alcohol in their home, even the hidden bottles. Her Aunt was sneaky though. She would buy more and hide them in new locations. Or she would go to more court events than her typical amount during the weeks, simply to imbibe. After nights of heavy drinking Tsunade would sleep all day and hack and cough most of the night in the confines of her room. Her Aunt, ever since the end of the war had been passing down more and more of her court healer responsibilities. In turn Sakura is left making medicines, salves, and keeping track of different patients' progress within the court and Konoha.
They had taken a carriage that evening. Sakura loads the two of them into the carriage and they quietly jostle about most of the ride back to the estate. When they are on the dirt road that leads to their home her Aunt speaks.
"I'm ill Sakura."
Sakura turns from eyeing the fields out of the carriage window towards her Aunt.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I am sick and I cannot heal this illness." She pauses and fiddles with her hands before continuing. "I believe I still have a couple more years of being coherent before the illness will take over. I'm just informing you now, so you know why I am giving you more responsibility."
Sakura does not ask any follow up questions. Her Aunt turns and looks out the window before she has even had a chance. The two arrive at Tsunade's estate and settle in for rest.
The weight of the war is over. Yet new challenges always seem to crop up.
18
Eight months after the end of the war between Konoha and Suna, the lands of Fire and Wind are in the process of making post war reparations.
Naruto is sent on trips to Wind Country often, acting as a representative for Konoha while his father Minato, the new Emperor deals with Konoha.
Sasuke and the Uchiha clan, after their heavy losses to their clan post war have taken up as Konoha police. Taking care of crimes, and investigations. Sasuke has taken his role of underling to the chief of police very seriously. From what Sakura has heard around town, he has been taking on a lot of responsibility and really proving himself to not only his father but his clan.
Sakura has taken up as one of the best healers in Konoha and all the surrounding towns. People venture from far away to be seen by her. She has taken up all of her Aunt's old responsibilities and then some. Leaving her as busy as her old friends.
Sasuke hasn't spoken to Sakura more than three times since the event at the post war banquet. The two were busy with their new roles in society. She's busy healing countless while he protects the innocent and punishes the scum who threaten peace.
He tries not to think of drunkenly kissing her. He really does, he tries to ignore his feelings. Tries to ignore how beautiful she has become. How angry she was with him that night and how he wanted to talk to her about all he had seen and done. He wants to know what had happened here, what horrors she also had to encounter and endure.
But he is a coward, and he tries his best to ignore the feelings he has for her. Has had for her for years.
The next time they will see each other will be at a court event the following month. He had been told by his father to take the day off from his duties, that this particular event was mandatory for him. Sasuke worries why this event in particular is mandatory for him but refuses to question his father on it.
Sakura is pulled into her corset with the help of her Aunt at their estate. She hates wearing corsets but her Aunt had told her she needed to 'shine brightly' today at the court event. Sakura is able to put two and two together. She turned 18 a few months ago, which is the marrying age in Konoha. Amongst court, and royalty you are expected to make arrangements to be wed shortly after you are seen as an adult.
Tsunade had always been honest with Sakura. Sakura has very much appreciated the life she had been granted to have because of her Aunt. While she is grateful she does feel obligated to some parts of royalty she would prefer not to be obligated to. Such as the weird tradition of marrying for societal standing rather than for love.
Her Aunt had informed her throughout the time under her care that this day would come, but Sakura had always brushed it off assuming things would change. How naive she was.
"Sakura."
Her Aunt ties off the last string on her corset, effectively sealing Sakura into her clothing prison for the evening.
"Tonight they will be announcing couples to be wed this year. I put you forward to be selected." Her Aunt pauses and sniffles from behind her. Her Aunt crying is a very rare sight and Sakura feels a lead weight drop in her stomach.
"I will not be here much longer. The illness I have has been taking me over at a much faster rate than I had originally thought. That is why I have offered you for marriage. That way if anything happens to me, you will be taken care of."
"You don't know that." Sakura responds quietly, afraid to talk back during this vulnerable moment for her Aunt.
"I do know it. It may not be love, but you will have a roof over your head and money. Those are the two things you need to survive in Konoha, everything else ? That's just extra." Sakura knows her aunt is a pessimist but she hadn't realized just how much of one she was until this moment.
"Now come on. We need to get you in your dress, the carriage will be here shortly."
She nods and goes along with what her Aunt wishes, all the while she's thinking of different ways she can get out of this situation.
The different members of court are all dressed in their finest clothes. It is still light out when Sasuke and his parents arrive at the Emperor's palace. The late summer sun casts an orange glow over the palace gardens upon entry. Sasuke helps his mother down from the carriage box, offering his arm. He becomes distracted when he hears a murmured curse from the carriage behind the Uchiha's.
Sasuke observes Sakura bending over uncomfortably to grab her fan off the gravel ground, dusting off some of the debris. Then he takes Sakura in. She's absolutely stunning. Her hair is up with a few wispy strands hanging loose and the light green dress she's wearing hugs her body in a way he has never really appreciated.
Yet, here he is, ogling his childhood friend from a carriage away, in front of his parents.
"Sasuke? Are you ready to head inside?" His mother calls out to him.
Sasuke shakes the thoughts of Sakura from his mind as he follows his parents into the event. All the while he is paying special attention to Sakura's heeled footsteps walking in time behind them.
Sasuke is sat across from Sakura at dinner at the lengthy table to fit all forty plus members of the court. All dinner she would eye him with disdain. When his parents beside him are distracted by a different conversation she eyes him down and sticks her tongue out at him, just as he had done all those years ago.
He recalls that day very vividly in his memory. The rosy haired girl, new to the royal court of Konoha, had looked so nervous and frightened. In his boyish way of thinking he had thought sticking his tongue out at her would provide a jest, in which she had, of course, interpreted it incorrectly.
Bringing himself mentally back to the present he glances to the side to confirm his parents were still occupied and sticks his tongue back out at her. Her eyes widen and brows furrow as she looks down to her plate and stabs at a carrot. He's unsure where he went wrong, he just threw back the energy she was giving out.
A servant makes their rounds around the large table, offering wine to all the adults. Sasuke accepts, finally seen as an adult in this society. Sakura also accepts and downs her glass fairly quickly. She flags down the wait staff and asks for another glass. Sasuke follows her lead, flagging down the servant on his side for another glass.
She narrows her eyes at him down the stem of her glass from across the table. The two go back and forth with the wait staff a couple more times before Sasuke's mother places a hand on his wrist and puts his arm down when he moves to request more alcohol.
" Sasuke . Enough." The Uchiha matriarch commands. Perhaps she is right, his vision is starting to warp and things are moving at a different pace than what he is used to.
Before he knows it the Emperor is making final dinner remarks and he notices Naruto at the head of the table beside his father, the Emperor.
The Emperor's booming voice cuts through the warbled mumbling that is going on in Sasuke's head, when he catches familiar names being spoken.
"Now to announce this year's engagements amongst the court! First up, my son, Naruto Uzumaki, betrothed to Lady Sakura Haruno Senju." Sasuke whirls his head from Naruto, who looks all too smug, then to Sakura whose face has paled substantially. She's looking at her cleared place mat with an unreadable expression.
"As well as Duke Sasuke Uchiha, betrothed to Duchess Hinata Hyuga."
Sasuke whips his head to his mother and father trying to understand what the hell was happening. He had not realized tonight was the night for engagement announcements. Let alone had he been told that he had been put up for marriage.
His father shoots him a stern look that wordlessly says 'do not say a word.' His mother gives him a nervous smile. Finding no solace in his family, the very ones who had offered him on a platter to a woman he has spoken to perhaps only twice to in his entire life, he shoots his slow gaze over to Sakura. She's looking back at him and they seem to be sharing the same emotions, confusion, betrayal and something neither of them refuses to acknowledge.
A champagne flute is handed out to all the adults and a toast is made to fortuitous unions. Sakura stares at the bubbly beverage in her drink, while Sasuke shoots it down, refusing to feel anything tonight.
The Emperor announces the dancing portion of the evening and the guests wander throughout the great hall. Sasuke watches as Sakura pushes herself out of her seat, grabs her glass of champagne, drinks it all, and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Her viridian orbs look up at him and then shoot to the hallway on the other side of the room, then she walks off.
Sasuke looks around his direct vicinity, stands from his seat and follows after her. He stuffs his hands into his dress pants pockets and saunters down the hallway, his gait is a little wobbly from all the alcohol he had just ingested in such a short period of time. Sakura is a ways down the hall, looking back briefly and searching for him in the crowd. She spots him then proceeds walking, taking a right towards the palace library.
The people lingering begin to dissipate the closer he gets to the library entrance. He doubles back once more to make sure they had not been followed, only when he's sure does he enter the library and shut the door behind him.
The palace library is large, with one of the vastest collections of knowledge within Konoha. Sasuke ends up walking towards the back corner, out of view from anyone who would come in after them. Sakura is looking through a book, and puts it back on the shelf in front of her, pulling off another book and searching for something very specific.
The woman before him turns around to face him.
"Are you going to just stand there or are you going to help me find a way out of this mess?"
When his vision focuses, it roams over the titles of the books in the section they are in, all about politics, and Fire Country law. Sasuke understands what she's trying to do and picks a book off the shelf and starts perusing it.
A half hour passes and Sakura blows at a loose strand of hair to get it out of her line of vision and shuts a book loudly, placing it back onto the shelf she had found it on.
Sasuke glances up at her from the page he had been focusing on.
"You know this is pointless right?"
The glare she sends him would scare him, but he knows she packs no heat behind it.
"Two people are not going to break centuries old traditions because they don't wish to get married." Sasuke adds, matter of factly.
Sakura stands and leans against the bookshelf and puts her face into her hands.
"I did not say I didn't want to get married." She muffles.
"You want to marry Naruto?" He asks, feeling a pit begin to grow in his stomach.
"Of course not! I want to marry for love, not for a court transaction."
"Hm."
" Hm, indeed." Sakura teases, lifting her head from her hands as she walks a few steps over to sit beside him on the reading bench he has sat on. Sasuke has sobered significantly since they had started their research.
"You know…I don't think I've said more than three words to the Hyuga in my entire life, and we were all in the same school together, for years."
Sakura chuckles and kicks her feet underneath the bench that faces a wall of large windows. The moon is full that night and the light from it shines brightly, illuminating the library. The sounds of music and loud cheering can be heard even from the library.
"What did you mean…back at the war ending banquet." Sakura says quietly, it's a question but she hadn't worded it as such.
He knows exactly what she is talking about. She's talking about what he had said before Naruto barged in on them.
"You had to know what?" She clarifies, Sakura isn't looking at him, instead choosing to watch her heeled feet kick underneath the bench.
"The talisman you sent to me during the war. It remained with me at all times." He reaches into his overcoat pocket and pulls out the worn cloth with the embroidered fan on it and hands it to her. Sakura takes it and observes it, flipping it back and forth.
"You didn't say goodbye." Sakura says and hands him back the cloth.
Sasuke shuts his eyes, fearing he may lose his temper.
"I didn't say goodbye because if I had died on the battlefield it would have been too final." He pauses then continues. "I-I'm sorry. I should have told you." Apologies have never been easy for him.
Sakura throws herself at him in an embrace. It's a little awkward because of the way their bodies are angled but he leans into it all the same and wraps an arm around her.
"I missed you." She says into his neck, and it sends a shiver down his spine.
"Missed you too." He says back.
Sakura pulls away first and looks back down to the ground, blindly handing him back the talisman she had gifted him.
"I don't want to lose it to him." Sakura says, slightly warbled.
"What? It?"
"You know. It." Oh.
"You don't want to have sex with Naruto?"
"I don't want to give my virginity to him! Do you really want to give yours–er– assuming you still are …to Hinata?" He can hear the anger start to bubble in her voice.
"I don't."
It's quiet, the sounds of the waltz can be heard through the walls. Plates and glasses are clanging from the other room as yet another toast is probably being said.
"Sasuke?"
"Hm?"
"I want you to be my first."
His heart lodges in his throat and he coughs a bit to clear the feeling.
"Do you want to be mine?" She asks, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.
His hands move on their own as they grab onto her wrists, forcing her to look him in the eye.
"I want you more than anything in this world Sakura." I love you comes to mind but it remains there, on the tip of his tongue.
"Then have me."
He doesn't need more guidance when his lips crash onto hers. He lets go of her wrists and she immediately uses her hands to undo his belt and try to unbutton his pants. Sasuke separates from her mouth.
"What are you doing?"
"I want you now."
"Well I want to savor this."
Sakura bites her lower lip and nods in acceptance.
It suddenly becomes a flurry of hands guiding hands to the other's most intimate places. Lips meshing with the others, tongues trying to win a battle that is not a battle at all, instead perhaps it is a waltz of its own.
They switch positions so she's seated at the edge of the reading bench and he is in front of her. She's hiked up her dress enough, green fabric pooled around her waist, so that he has access to her slick heat and she's pulled his hardened member out, he finally plunges in and takes Sakura.
The two remain still for a moment, their breathing labored and erratic. Sasuke looks into her glazed emerald eyes and pulls out only to slowly push back in. Sasuke admires the way her face scrunches in an expression of pleasure and pain. He thinks he must wear the same face. She was so tight, but the more they move against each other, the wetter she becomes.
"Sakura–"
She brings one of her hands between them, as his hips continue to smack against her thighs. Moving her fingers over her pink nub. Sasuke smacks her hand away and follows the pace she had originally started with his own hand.
"Sakura–I…"
"I know. I–I'm going to– ah with you." She responds with one of her eyes closing trying to hold off on her orgasm.
"No, well I mean that too, but–" Sakura throws her head back and moans. Her pussy flutters around his cock and it's about to send him over. But he forces himself to say those three words that had been at the back of his throat since he was fourteen.
"I love you–"
He spills himself into her, his eyes shut tightly and his hands grip the bench harshly.
When he's calmed his raging blood and the roaring in his ears has settled he opens his eyes.
Sakura is looking at him so intently, her eyes wide.
He pulls himself out of her and they silently fix their rumpled clothes. Sakura hops off the bench and stands, smoothing out the silk fabric of her dress. When they have both collected themselves she reaches for his cheek and wipes her thumb in a gentle caress over his skin.
"Sasuke, I love you too."
The moment is broken all too quickly, a stumble is heard and the library door opens. They both separate and crouch into the corner they had originally found themselves in. The set of footsteps they hear goes off into a different area and they are able to escape the library without anyone noticing them.
Before separating and entering back into the main event so as to not cause any suspicion, they agree to talk before their respective weddings.
2 Months Later
Sakura and Sasuke had not been given a chance to speak to each other and sort through these feelings. While the two of them had been too lost in each other in the library, Emperor Uzumaki had let it be known the court weddings would take place in a month, a day apart from the other.
Coincidentally Sakura and Sasuke had found an excuse to not show up to the other's wedding. The morning after her marriage to Naruto, he had been summoned to Suna to squander a land deal. He assured her he would be back shortly. Sakura was secretly grateful. She did not want to be around Naruto. She did not want to be around anybody. Due to the nature of his work and how drunk he had been at their reception Naruto had fallen asleep on the carriage ride to their new estate. Her and Naruto had failed to finalize their union.
A few days turned into a month and a half.
Sakura had thrown herself into healing. Her Aunt was now bedridden most days with the curtains in her bedroom always drawn. Sakura typically visits her Aunt every couple days before she went to the various patients and healing huts around Konoha.
One morning a month after Sakura's wedding, her Aunt is sitting up in her bed on her most recent visit.
"Aunt? Are you alright?"
"Get over here girl."
Her Aunt had been losing her bearings more and more. The rapid nature of her illness had been eating away at her mind and cohesive thoughts.
Sakura walks over to her Aunt's bedside. Tsunade grabs Sakura's chest. Sakura back steps away from her Aunt quickly.
"I think you need to lie down." Sakura tries to prop the pillow up behind Tsunade.
"You're with child."
Her Aunt had always been one for modern science, but there had been small instances growing up where she would use an old wive's tale, or 'supernatural' medical take to heal or predict illness.
Her Aunt lays down and shuts her eyes shortly after her strange outburst.
Sakura turns the lamp on her bedside off and leaves the estate on shaky footing.
She had been so busy trying to distract herself from her marriage and her conflicting love for Sasuke that she had ignored the signs. Her breasts had been tender, she had been avoiding breakfast the past couple weeks because it had made her stomach turn. The biggest tell, that she had written off as stress, was when her period was supposed to arrive but the time had come and gone with no monthly bleeding. She decides to go to the main healing hut and test her Aunt's very plausible theory.
She's pale faced when she arrives and privately tests herself. The results are clear. She is indeed pregnant.
She had thought of that night in the library more often than she would care to admit but it is once again on the forefront of her mind.
What could she do? It was now indecent to walk up to Sasuke and Hinata's door and demand to speak to Sasuke. Before she can get too technical she recalls the invite for the quarterly court dinner at the end of the current week. She just prays that Sasuke will be there.
Sasuke's new wife is too timid. They sleep in two separate rooms, and interact only in front of their families. Hinata does not so much as meet his gaze when he does try to talk to her. The Hyuga had provided a house for their oldest daughter to live in with her betrothed. Sasuke tries to get out of the large estate as often as he was able, taking on extra work and jobs at the police station.
He thinks for perhaps the first time in his life he is thankful for the court event this week. He can finally (he hopes) see Sakura without it being indecent.
The evening of the court event arrives and Sasuke arrives with his new bride on his arm, both of them rigid from having to put on an act. The two separate as they go to get hors devours or a drink. Sasuke searches the grand room for pink or green. Eyeing the crowd slowly for any sign of her.
Sakura finally walks in and she looks pale, sickly even. Sasuke follows her line of sight and it falls onto Naruto who is speaking with his father near the head of the large table, a ways away. Naruto looks like he has been traveling for weeks. His childhood friend bows to the Emperor and runs over to Sakura. His wife provides him a watery smile and a touch on his forearm, before Naruto runs off to a different room. Hopefully to wash up.
Dinner passes, and the dancing portion of the evening commences. In a rare moment Sasuke heads over to the dance floor, sending a look to Sakura across the table. Sakura blinks and walks over to the floor where the musicians play a classic Konoha tune. The two partner up and proceed through the steps.
"How are you?" Sasuke asks as they turn and clap.
Sakura grasps his hands and they spin together.
"I'm pregnant."
Everything goes quiet for him. He goes through the motions of the dance with her but he feels as though he has just been stabbed in the heart. He hadn't realized Sakura and Naruto had sealed their marriage. He was being childish, but he truly thought she wouldn't go through with it, with him. An ugly feeling begins to boil up within his gut.
They step apart and clap, then turn.
"I'm glad to hear your union has been fruitful." He spits.
Sakura grips his hand tighter than normal on the next part of the dance.
"Naruto left the morning after our wedding. We haven't sealed our marriage yet. He only just returned this evening." Sakura whispers over the music.
The gears shift slowly for Sasuke, too slowly. The music ends and Sakura is bowing to him as a signal their dance is over. She retreats out of the ballroom towards the estate entrance. Sasuke follows after her.
She's sitting on one of the marble steps into the palace, her knees pressed to her chest, and her face buried into the fabric her dress. Sasuke sits beside her, looking up at the waxing moon.
"What if we left." He says aloud.
Sakura raises her head, she has been crying, there is still visible moisture on her cheeks.
"Right now?" She asks, her voice just barely loud enough to hear over the crickets chirping.
"If that is what you want."
"What do you want?" She questions.
"I want to be with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to have some semblance of happiness, and you–" He pauses and presses a hand to her still flat stomach, "-are my key to that."
Sakura stands, brushes off the dust from her dress, and offers her hand. He takes it and stands with her. Sakura places her hands on both sides of his face, and forces him down to her face where she presses her lips to his forcefully. It's over too soon when she separates and grasps his hand before they run off to the palace stables. They steal a horse and ride as far as the horse will take them that evening and weeks after.
With nothing but the clothes on their backs, the talisman in his pocket, and the dirty dagger in Sakura's boot holster they ride all night taking shelter in a cave in a forgotten forest of Konoha.
32
Sarada has never questioned why her family lives in Iwagakure. Not until she is 14 and her mother receives a letter with a Konoha stamp in the top right corner.
Her father protects the borders of Iwa, her mother heals the sick and injured. People come from far and wide to see her mother and to be treated by her. Her parents are so strong and brave that when she sees her mother crying over a letter at their kitchen table she immediately worries.
"Mama what's wrong?"
Her father arrives home and her mother looks up to her father. They share a look and he joins her side, skimming the contents of the letter. Her father kisses the top of her mothers light pink hair and they nod at each other. Her parents had always had wordless conversations.
"Sarada, how would you like to take a trip to where your mother and I grew up?" Sasuke asks.