Agonized screams joined with sobs of relief to fill the hangar bay with a symphony not soon forgotten. Sweat beaded along Adrina's forehead. She squeezed the elderly Togrutan woman's hand, offering a smile, and moved to the next patient. All of the colonists were dehydrated and undernourished, and not one escaped injury. She couldn't quite count the fact that most were minor injuries as a blessing, knowing that many critically injured would have already perished due to injury or have been outright executed. Still, many would require some time in the MedBay before they could safely be released to their home world.
Grief twisted to squeeze past her, hurrying to meet the latest transport. Transport after transport carried more survivors. She had urged Master Plo to allow them to triage the survivors before transport, but the damage the complex received during the rescue severely destabilized its structural integrity, making immediate evacuation the safest course of action. The pilots did their best to split the colonists amongst the cruisers, but even so the cruisers suffered from lack of space. Most of the crew voluntarily offered their quarters to the survivors, doubling up bunks when possible. Adrina's office became the temporary quarters for medical personnel. The Mess transformed into a secondary MedBay until a hospital ship rendezvoused with the fleet.
"There's so many," Maelle whispered, coming up behind her.
"Not as many as there should be," Adrina said. And still there was no sign of Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex or Ahsoka, though she did not doubt they would be the last to leave the facility before Master Plo ordered its final destruction.
Maelle wiped the sweat from her brow. She kept her voice low when she said, "We won't have enough supplies, even pulling from the RMSU."
"We will do all we can," Adrina murmured. She touched Maelle's arm. "Right now we have patients waiting for us."
Maelle squared her shoulders and, with a nod, forged back into the fray. Pride swelled within Adrina as she watched her young assistant tend to a young child with bloody and blistered feet.
Across the landing, another transport landed, but Grief was still tied up triaging the prior arrivals; Adrina immediately began picking her way across the field of injured, offering smiles to the few who would meet her eyes.
The transport doors opened and the world slowed. Relief flooded Adrina. There in the opening was Obi-Wan Kenobi, standing as confident as ever with Anakin by his side. Rex and Ahsoka hopped out first, assisting a elderly Togrutan. Adrina watched, frozen, as Anakin gave Obi-Wan a good natured elbow before following Rex.
They were alive. Tears pricked the back of her eyes.
Obi-Wan jumped out of the transport and paused, as if sensing her gaze. Their eyes met across the hangar and the clamoring surrounding them faded into silence. He smiled and a tight coil of fear relaxed inside of her.
They were alive and they were right there. Obi-Wan was right there. So even as their respective duties carried them in separate directions, Adrina breathed a little easier.
0
Rex's eyes swept over the transformed Mess. The stench of unwashed bodies and blood blanketed the large room. Tables turned into beds and work tables. Cots lined the walls. Droids bustled about, mechanical arms laden with blankets, provisions, and medical supplies. Children cried for their parents, comforted by parents still searching for their own children. Husbands wrapped their arms around wives. Friend searched for friend. Everyone grieved their losses and rejoiced in their salvation.
This was why Rex fought. He fought to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. He fought to liberate the enslaved and to uplift the fallen.
In the middle of the chaos, a tiny angel moved from patient to patient, bestowing each with a beatific smile. Maelle. Exertion colored her cheeks red, but failed to disguise the dark circles under her eyes. How long had she been on duty? Even to his untrained eyes, hours of work stretched ahead of the medical staff. The most critical patients had been whisked to MedBay and RMSU, where Adrina and Grief did what they could. Maelle and Shot handled the serious but non-critical injuries in the Mess. The meddroids assisted medically trained colonists in treating the minor injuries wherever the patients bunked. But the sheer volume of patients…
Rex carefully skirted patients, making his way to Maelle.
Maelle whirled at his approach. "Rex," she breathed. Her shoulders sagged and some of the tension eased from her face. "Here, let me look at you." Maelle grabbed his bare hand and looked around in vain for an empty bed.
"Don't worry about me," Rex said quietly, barely audible over the cacophony of voices. "I came to help." He gripped her hand more tightly.
Maelle blinked up at him. "To help?" She frowned, eyes narrowing at the dirt and scrapes covering his visible skin. He had plenty of bruises, too. She closed her eyes and he knew, instinctively, that she was scanning him with the Force.
Rex rubbed the back of his neck and shifted nervously. "I'm no medic, but we all received basic aid training." He gave her a crooked grin. "And I'm good at following orders."
Maelle bit her lip. Her gaze drifted to the sea of patients. Maelle rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "Adrina will throw a fit, but the Mess is under my purview and we need the help." She gave a resolute nod, decision made, and pointed towards the kitchen. "You'll need to wash up. A droid can fetch clean clothes." She released his hand.
Rex snapped a salute. "Yes, sir. Right away." He hurried to clean himself up.
And so, together, they worked side-by-side, soldier and physician. He washed bodies, fetched supplies, and carried patients. He slathered bacta, wrapped injuries, and wiped tears. He did anything he could to help Maelle and the survivors.
Rex had never been in more awe of Maelle than he did watching her in the Mess. Exhaustion flagged her eyes, but her smile never dimmed. She treated each patient with kindness and dignity, tending every wound and soothing every injury she could. She was puked on and bloodied, yet never batted an eye.
"Here," Rex murmured. Maelle tipped her head up to him and he wiped sweat and vomit from her cheek. He glanced at the green hair wrap she wore. "Now I understand why you always cover your hair when you're working."
Maelle grinned. "Saving lives is far from glamorous. You know that too well."
But even dirty and exhausted, Maelle was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
And they continued on.
Yes, Rex knew why he fought. But what would he do when the war ended? What would happen to him and to his brothers? Would the Republic still have need of an army many citizens viewed with suspicion or outright derision? What would he do when he could no longer fight, either due to age or injury?
Rex stared down at his hands - hands bred to maim and destroy. Hands that now sought to restore life. His fight was an honorable one; Rex never doubted that. But perhaps one day he could use his hands to save lives through peace and not violence.
Perhaps he could do it by Maelle's side.
0
Adrina's finger hovered over the door chime to Obi-Wan's quarters. Her heart raced and her stomach twisted itself into a variety of impressively intricate and inconvenient knots. She had spent the last twenty-four hours triaging and treating the survivors aboard, though fatigue was not the reason for her acrobatic organs. She could not rest until she had seen for herself that Obi-Wan was truly alright.
She clutched her satchel tighter. You're being ridiculous, she chastised herself and jammed her finger on the chime.
The door slid open.
Adrina gathered her tattered courage and stepped into Obi-Wan's dim quarters. He stood at the viewport in only his loose tan undershirt and trousers, hands clasped behind his back, staring out into the vast darkness. Adrina lingered just inside the door. For a long moment, neither spoke.
"You didn't come see me." Adrina's voice shattered the silence.
Obi-Wan waved his hand dismissively. "I'm fine. I didn't want to disturb you needlessly."
Adrina's brow drew together. "Be honest."
Obi-Wan's shoulders dropped with a long exhale. He rubbed his forehead and, finally, turned to face her. Dim light glistened off his damp cheeks. The sight washed away her irritation. "How is Rex? Ahsoka?"
"Resting, as you should be."
"Anakin?"
Adrina raised an eyebrow. "Hardly a scratch. He was responsible and came to MedBay." His visit was brief - the long line of patients waiting prohibited anything but brevity - but it had been enough to assuage any lingering concerns she had over his physical health. Anything else would have to wait.
"The colonists?"
Adrina sighed. She shifted her eyes to the twinkling stars. "Some wounds," she said finally. "I cannot heal."
"Hm, yes."
Adrina rallied. "But, that is why I'm here." She dropped her satchel on his bed and gestured to it with her head. She raised an eyebrow expectantly.
Obi-Wan chuckled, but sat down. Adrina swallowed hard. She channeled every ounce of professionalism she possessed to keep her eyes from drifting to the bit of exposed muscled chest and sprinkling of hair peeking out from the dip of his undertunic. The layers of Obi-Wan's robes concealed the extent of his physical fitness well. Shame.
Pretending her heart wasn't beating out of her chest, Adrina stepped between Obi-Wan's legs. They had done this countless times, she reminded herself. But here, alone and in the dark, the air oddly heavy…. Adrina fought to keep her thoughts from straying into scandalous directions.
"I'm going to put my hands on your shoulders," she murmured out of habit.
Obi-Wan made a brief sound of acknowledgement. She offered a small smile and raised trembling hands. Heat seeped into the palms of her hands through the thin material of Obi-Wan's shirt. Adrina closed her eyes with an exhale and began to extend her senses. Her eyes snapped open, focus broken, when warm hands settled on her waist.
But Obi-Wan's eyes were closed and she sensed he felt more at peace than he had in a long while, so she gave into the feeling of rightness, and began again, ignoring the tingles spreading throughout every nerve ending in her body and shutting down any small voice that warned of danger.
Adrina sank into the Force. For a moment, she lost herself in the beauty of it, the undeniable proof that he was alive and relatively unharmed, that he was there with her. She happily fell into the shimmering rivers of the Force flowing through Obi-Wan and, through him, her, their life essences merging into one where their bodies met. She sent tendrils of healing power through their connection.
"What is your verdict?" Obi-Wan's distant voice drew her reluctantly from the depths.
"You had some bruising around your ribs, but nothing serious. A few cuts." She smiled. "Hardy as ever." He was alive. But what must have he endured? What wounds had they inflicted upon his soul? Tears burned the back of her eyes. Her throat constricted.
And still his hands remained on her waist, anchoring her just as her emotions threatened to sweep her away. His grip tightened. "I'm here," Obi-Wan said softly.
"I'm being ridiculous," she huffed. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. Don't mind me."
"That I cannot do," he murmured.
Adrina blushed.
"I believe I owe you an apology. Multiple apologies."
Adrina opened her mouth and then closed it. She bit the inside of her cheek.
Obi-Wan patted the bed once beside him and Adrina's heart skipped a beat. But she stepped out from his legs and sat beside him.
"It was worse than I imagined it would be," Obi-Wan admitted. Adrina ducked her head to hide the tell-tale burning behind her eyes. "There were children - children. If I did-" Obi-Wan's voice broke. "If I did anything, the colonists… They slaughtered one hundred colonists merely to prove a point."
Against her better judgment, Adrina moved closer, arm touching arm.
"Their cruelty… Their utter disregard for life… You've shared account after account… You tried to tell me. I believed you - I've always believed you - but to see it…"
Adrina's heart broke again for Obi-Wan and for the slaves forced to endure the unspeakable. "I am so sorry, Obi-Wan," she whispered. "I would have done anything to prevent you from enduring that."
"No," he said. "I am sorry. I am sorry that I responded to you so callously when I brought you back to Jabba the Hutt. I am sorry I was not more understanding when you offered to take Ahsoka's place."
Adrina mustered a smile for him. "There's nothing to forgive. You were right."
Obi-Wan sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't think I could have made it through without Rex." He opened his eyes and looked at Adrina. "Or you."
Adrina's heart spluttered. "Me? I wasn't there."
Obi-Wan tapped his head, then his chest. "You are in here. Always. Forever, I'm afraid."
He didn't mean it. He couldn't. "Obi-Wan…. I…." she stammered. Her eyes met Obi-Wan's. Words died on her lips. She had never felt so naked, utterly laid bare. She looked away from his intense gaze with an uneasy chuckle. They were veering into that dangerous territory again, where no star chart could ever guide them. "Well, however you managed it, I'm glad you are safe now."
"As am I," he murmured. "As am I." Warmth enveloped her hand. She stared at their intertwined fingers, at his thumb rubbing indolent circles on the back of her hand.
"Obi-Wan…" His name escaped as a breathy whisper.
"I promised you I would always come back. And I did," Obi-Wan said quietly, almost to himself. "I had to."
Adrina brought her free hand over to rest on their still twined fingers and gave his hand a light squeeze. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Her eyelids drooped, fatigue weighing them down. "I was so worried," she admitted. She laughed softly. "I think I drove Grief out of his mind."
Gentle fingers tipped Adrina's head up. Obi-Wan rested his forehead against hers. He brushed their noses together.
She should pull away. She should put distance between them. She should break the spell that had fallen over them and made the world around them silent and obsolete. But she was tired. She was so very tired and being there in the quiet darkness with Obi-Wan felt so very right. His even breaths, whispering against her skin, soothed every frayed nerve and quieted every stampeding thought.
Adrina did not pull away.
And when Obi-Wan's gaze dropped to her parted lips, she closed the scant distance between them and brushed her lips against his.
The world stilled.
Obi-Wan's hand crept up her arm and gripped the back of her neck, fingers plunging into her hair and threatening to dislodge her bun. Heat pooled in her core.
But the door chimed as his tongue swept across her lips and they shot apart. Adrina bolted to her feet, unable to meet Obi-Wan's eyes - eyes that settled heavily upon her. She darted past the visitor at the door without seeing who the blessed interruptor was.
Once safely in her office, Adrina collapsed on her cot. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She touched her fingers to her lips. Adrina rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. She screeched into the fabric.
"Adrina?" Sleep slurred Maelle's speech. "You alright?"
Adrina mustered an even tone. "I'm fine. It's nothing. Go back to sleep."
Maelle mumbled once and turned over in her cot. Adrina didn't breathe until she heard Maelle's soft snore.
Adrina fell back on her cot and touched her lips. How could she have been so foolhardy? She had no business kissing Obi-Wan Kenobi. She certainly had no business liking the softness of his lips or the tickle of his beard on her skin. Desiring more - more kisses, more touch - was nearly reprehensible.
He loved Duchess Satine. He was a Jedi. They were Jedi.
They always would be.
How could she face him? She could hardly avoid him altogether. There was nothing for it; she would have to apologize and hope their friendship could survive her mistake.
0
Obi-Wan brought his hand to his lips, before disguising the move as stroking his beard. He cleared his throat and carefully avoided Anakin's raised eyebrows. "Come in, Anakin."
Anakin gestured after his sister, who had already disappeared around the corner. "What's up with her? Didn't even look at me."
Obi-Wan looked away. "I…couldn't say. Come in."
The door slid closed behind Anakin. "What was she here for? It's late. I thought she would be in bed after the hours she's spent in MedBay and RMSU."
"Just checking in," Obi-Wan said. "I forgot to stop by for an examination."
Anakin frowned. "Master, you know how imp-"
"I know." Obi-Wan grimaced at his tone. He took a breath to correct himself. "I'm sorry, my friend."
Anakin waved his concern away. "After what you've been through, I don't blame you for being snappy."
Obi-Wan smiled weakly.
Anakin leaned against the wall by the viewport. Obi-Wan's gaze drifted to the bed where, moments before, he had kissed Adrina.
His first kiss.
A kiss that should never have happened, but that he couldn't bring himself to regret. A kiss he would cherish for the rest of his days. He has behaved terribly inappropriately, he knew, holding her waist and hand, and particularly in kissing her. Physical and emotional exhaustion robbed Obi-Wan of every scrap of self-control he possessed. Adrina had always had a way of slipping past his carefully constructed barriers, but tonight he had no will with which to attempt a defense.
"Did I interrupt something?"
Anakin's voice dragged Obi-Wan out of his more pleasant thoughts. "Hm?"
Anakin studied Obi-Wan.
"What can I do for you?"
"Nothing." Anakin shook his head. "Just checking in. Seeing how you were doing. I sensed an unusual amount of turmoil from you."
Anakin's concern touched Obi-Wan, but his response was automatic. "It's nothing."
Something in Anakin's face fell. "Let me be here for you as you once were for me," he said softly.
Another piece of Obi-Wan's resolve crumbled. He could never admit to kissing Adrina or his feelings. Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but words refused to exit. He tried again, with the same result.
But Anakin nodded. "Now you know," he said, "Why rescuing Jabba's son made me angry."
Obi-Wan grasped onto the unintentional lifeline tightly. "Yes."
"We rescued forty-eight thousand, five hundred and fifty-eight colonists,"Anakin murmured. "We rescued all the colonists the Zygerrians left alive."
Obi-Wan shook his head. Bitterness crept into his voice. "And how many did we abandon?"
Anakin looked up. Anger and pain shone brightly in his eyes. "Too many."
"Too many," Obi-Wan echoed. He joined Anakin in staring out at the twinkling stars that mocked them. "This is the first time I have been ashamed of the Jedi Order." The admission slipped from his lips before he could keep it inside, buried deep with the rest of his true thoughts and feelings.
Anakin blinked, surprised at Obi-Wan's unusual candor. "You are thinking about what the queen said. About the Jedi being slaves."
Obi-Wan sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Well, he couldn't take back what he said. He might as well confide in his friend. Tonight was the night to throw caution to the wind anyway, evidently. "The Jedi Order serves the Republic. We are the guardians of peace and justice. I am a guardian of peace and justice. And I just turned my back on countless slaves, just like I did on Tatooine. The Council will say that we will once again destroy the Zygerrian slave trade after the war is ended, but will we? We have done nothing about slavery in the Outer Rim, instead we have allowed it to flourish for generations. Instead, we struck a bargain with Jabba the Hutt. Where is the justice in that?"
Anakin pressed his lips together. "There isn't any."
Obi-Wan sighed. "Queen Miraj was correct; the Order is enslaved to the Republic. We always have been."
"There is no shame in serving others," Anakin remarked.
"No," Obi-Wan agreed. "But isn't there when you willingly serve an undeniably corrupt Senate? When you allow yourself to be pushed into decisions that are neither correct or just? Worse, when you refuse to acknowledge it? Oh, we speak of keeping an eye on the Senate. We bemoan the corrupt politicians. But we do nothing. We sit idly by and allow ourselves to be manipulated."
Anakin crossed his arms. "What are you saying, Obi-Wan? The Jedi should overthrow the Senate?"
Obi-Wan recoiled. "Certainly not! Nothing like that."
Anakin tilted his head. "Are you thinking of rescinding your vows?"
"No," Obi-Wan sighed. "I don't know."
Anakin nodded thoughtfully. "Well," he said after a moment. "I can't say I disagree with you." He shot Obi-Wan a crooked grin. "We both know what I decided."
Obi-Wan snorted. "Your decision had nothing to do with serving a corrupt Senate."
"Fair enough." Anakin laughed and Obi-Wan marveled that he still could. He was grateful for Anakin's understanding.
"I am honored to serve beside you." Obi-Wan meant every word. "You are a good man and a dear friend."
Anakin shifted on his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. "What's gotten you so sentimental tonight?" Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile at his characteristic misdirection. "Oh, looks like Adrina left her bag."
Obi-Wan followed Anakin's eyes to the well worn leather satchel. His heart squeezed. "It does appear she did."
Anakin folded his arms. "It's so strange how she ran out of here. You're sure she didn't say anything? I'm sure none of this has been easy on her, either."
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "She didn't say a word. Just….ran." He couldn't blame her.
Anakin shrugged. "Well, hey, you should return her bag tomorrow. Ask her to duel while you're there. She's really improved, but a different partner would do her good."
He blanched. He would have to face her. How could he face her after kissing her? But he said, "High praise indeed."
Anakin frowned. "And you're sure nothin-"
"I'm sure." The words tasted like a lie, but Obi-Wan clung to them.
Anakin sighed. He walked towards the door, pausing. "That's a shame. You'd be good together." Anakin tossed a wave and a grin over his shoulder and left before Obi-Wan could even process what he'd said.
Obi-Wan sank onto his bed with a heavy sigh. He held his face in his hands, elbows propped on his knees.
How had everything gotten so messy? He longed for the simpler days, before he questioned the Order, before his feelings for Adrina became so complicated - the days when his sleep was not plagued with screams and fire and death. He longed for peace.
Obi-Wan held Adrina's satchel. He rubbed a slow circle on the leather, as he had her hand minutes before, before he stopped himself. It wasn't right to miss her when she was gone. It wasn't right to desire her companionship. It wasn't right to desire her. But he did. His feelings may be natural, but his actions on those feelings… Obi-Wan sighed.
He swung his legs up onto the bed and laid down. He drifted to sleep still clutching her satchel to his chest.
0
The hospital ship divested MedBay and RMSU of its patients. Without the overflow of patients, MedBay and RMSU felt empty, but allowed Adrina and Grief's attention to shift to the remaining colonists. Still, Adrina was glad to be in the command room with the rest of the command staff for the latest briefing - until she saw Obi-Wan enter. She lowered her eyes.
"We'll be arriving on Kiros in six hours," Admiral Yularen said. He turned to Adrina. "The hospital ship transfer?"
She felt Obi-Wan's eyes on her, but she ignored him. "Went smoothly," Adrina replied. "The only issue I foresee returning the colonists to Kiros is supplies - medical and otherwise. The majority of them will need continued medical care and they are all undernourished."
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "I've spoken to Senator Organa," he said. "Alderaan is sending a supply ship and relief workers until Governor Roshti finalizes new trade agreements and his people are once again self-sufficient. He assured me that the ship will be there by the time we arrive."
Adrina kept her eyes lowered. Her nails dug into her calloused palms in the folds of her skirt.
"Senator Amidala has also offered her assurances that the Naboo will be sending relief to the people of Kiros," Anakin added. He smiled at Adrina. "We will not allow them to be abandoned." Anakin's words resonated deep within Adrina.
"Indeed," Obi-Wan murmured.
Something in Obi-Wan's voice made Adrina's eyes snap to his. She couldn't look away. Admiral Yularen continued to speak, but she did not hear, lost in the pull of Obi-Wan's blue-gray eyes. Anakin nudged her leg under the table and smirked.
"I think that's all," Anakin said, still smirking at his sister. "We all have a long list of tasks to complete, so let's get to it."
Adrina shot up from her seat. If she kept her head down and if Admiral Yularen waylaid Obi-Wan as he usually did after these meetings….
"Adrina, wait a moment, please."
Dank farrik. Adrina gave Rex and Cody a small smile as they exited. She sensed Obi-Wan standing behind her. When the last of the staff exited, she gathered her dignity and turned. "How are you feeling today, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan searched her face - for what, she couldn't fathom. "You left this."
Embarrassment flooded her face as she accepted her satchel. "Thank you," she murmured. An apology sat on the edge of Adrina's tongue, begging to be uttered, but her mouth refused to open.
"Anakin tells me you're much improved with your lightsaber."
Adrina blinked in confusion. How could Obi-Wan act as if nothing had happened? Perhaps he had forgotten already. After all, it had been quite late, he had been exhausted, and the kiss had been so terribly brief. Perhaps she shouldn't mention it at all, in that case. She could pretend, for his sake, even if guilt ate her alive.
Adrina rallied. "If by much improvement you mean I'm on my feet longer than a minute, then yes."
"Rex sings your praises any chance he can. Maelle's, too."
"He does seem particularly impressed by Maelle's improvements," Adrina agreed. There were times she wondered about Rex's feelings towards her assistant.
For a moment, they stared at each other. She searched his face for any hint that he remembered what she had done, but found nothing. Perhaps he truly didn't remember.
"I should get back to MedBay. Thank you," she held up her satchel briefly. "For bringing this back."
"Anytime, my friend."
His words skewered Adrina's heart. Her smile turned brittle; she turned quickly, sending a wave over her shoulder.
Friend, yes. While she was pretending she never kissed him, she would have to learn to be content to be merely his friend.