(A\N: Apologies for the extremely late chapter. Saving issues caused a quarter of this chapter to be lost when I was halfway done, the school year has also come to an end so there has been a lot of stress along with that, and I went on vacation. And I've had zero motivation. Sorry!)
(P.S.: I redid the plot. Hopefully, this will be the last chapter where everything is painfully crammed together and boring. Sorry again!)
(I will mention, there will be a portrayal of abuse in this chapter on two instances. The worst one we will only see the aftermath of, but there is an active scene in which a character is hit. Just know that in any instances such as in this where a character is extensively injured - we will only see the aftermath of.)
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Ludwig awoke again in the morning, having passed out at his desk. He lifted his head, rubbed his eyes, and looked around, recognizing his surroundings. His reading glasses sat crooked on his face, caught up in his messy hair. He used his feet to push his rolling chair away from his desk, stretching. He sighed, looking at the mess in front of him. 'This again?...'
He stood up, went over and looked in the mirror, seeing the same mess he was always greeted by. Ludwig sighed. He didn't bother changing into any new clothes before leaving his room. Ignoring the obvious commotion upstairs, he headed into the bathroom.
The old, rusted faucet creaked as Ludwig turned it and splashed his face with the cold water. He grabbed some hair gel, which was conveniently laid on the sink by a bar of soap. Ludwig screwed off the lid of the tub, scooping some up with his fingers. He slicked his hair back with the gel, his fingers running through the greasy and dry blonde locks.
He did some other basics, before opening up the bathroom door and leaving on his way back to the bedroom once again. His plans were quickly thrown off track, though. Gilbert dashed out of Vash's room, grabbing Ludwig's arm as he ran back. Ludwig was shocked, looking at Gilbert confused. "Gil! What are you doing?!" He exclaimed.
"I'm sorry- just- I had to get Vash up! There's no way me and Lilli alone are dealing with Roderich's wounds right now!" Gilbert replied "he took a few hard blows. All because father found out he snuck out to see Elizaveta at like, some ridiculous time last night. I mean, he's an adult! Let the man do what he wants!"
Ludwig sighed and rubbed his temples. "Just- fucking god. Assuming you two need help?" Gilbert nodded in response, pulling Ludwig along upstairs.
Vash eventually came out behind them. His hair was a mess, he was wearing green plaid pyjama pants and a black t-shirt on top. He was obviously irritated, his breath smelling like cigarettes. Vash's eyes were half shut, and dark circles were visible underneath. "What the fuck, Gilbert?!" Vash hissed, running up to them. "Vash, get your ass together and help out."
"What even fucking happened? If it's involving anyone other than Lilli, I don't care. Especially if it's you or Roderich." Vash crossed his arms, with Gilbert giving in and saying "Roderich." Vash rolled his eyes, walking back to his room.
"... Asshole," Gilbert facepalmed "and I don't even like Roderich."
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Lilli couldn't get enough air inside her lungs as she kept running for more tissues, trying to stop the bleeding. Roderich kept trying to insist on helping stop his bleeding, but Lilli refused, instead she kept trying.
The sleeves of her pyjama top were soaked with Roderich's blood, considering how they fell down every time she tried to roll them up. "Roderich, I- I don't-" Lilli gulped "I don't know where half of this blood is even coming from!" Lilli felt herself barely holding on, making silent gasps for air and holding back tears.
"Lilli," Roderich held her wrist away from his face "Here. I'll keep the tissues in place. Just focus on finding the bandages."
Ludwig and Gilbert finally came upstairs being greeted by how overwhelmed Lilli was. Every time she wiped her tears with her sleeve, she smeared some of Roderich's blood onto her face along with it. Ludwig rushed over to Roderich and Gilbert went towards Lilli instead.
"Lilli, hey, look at me Lils," Gilbert kneeled down to Lilli's level and used his hand to wipe away her panicked tears "you've done good, okay? Let us handle it now, we're the adults here."
"No- No," Lilli choked out "he needs all our-" Before Lilli could finish her sentence, Gilbert pulled her into a hug. Lilli continued crying, letting her tears fall freely onto Gilbert's hoodie. "It'll be fine. Just go back downstairs." Gilbert let go and gave her a pat on the back, signalling her to go. Lilli gulped with a quick nod, running off.
"Jesus, Roderich. The fuck is that bastard on?" Gilbert said, heading over to Roderich and Ludwig. At that point, Ludwig had been able to make some progress with fixing up the injuries, not to mention Lilli's previous efforts. "It's father. He can be irrational, you know. I mean, this is basically the norm for us."
Gilbert sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Honestly? Most of our personalities have been built around the way we cope with him." Ludwig gulped, looking back at his brother. "Yea... I mean, I can barely remember my childhood. Especially before mother died. I have a few key memories... and that's it," he responded, "and even then, I have little memory of my childhood after all that."
"We all do, Lud..." Roderich mumbled "poor Lilli's lost some of hers, and she's only fourteen! And it's not just like, small stuff, it's key moments just like us!"
Ludwig sighed. The open door in the hall made a wall visible, where a photo of the five of them covered a rather large crack with its ends poking out crooked like branches on a tree.
The photo wasn't exactly... the most formal. Gilbert had tried to take the photo from a camera, but failed, not being able to run back to the rest of his siblings in time to take the photo. The result was the siblings screeching at Gilbert to get back in time, resulting in one chaotic photo. The camera even caught the blur of Gilbert tripping as he rushed. Gauthier didn't exactly like it, but hey, at least it was actually a photo of them.
It was the perfect capture of their imperfect family.
"Ludwig? Hellooooooo?" Gilbert said, elongating the end of the word "Space must be interesting, huh?" He joked as he gently smacked Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig came back to reality, his head snapping back towards his brothers. "Oh. Yeah."
"Were you discovering some groundbreaking galactic way to immediately cure Roderich?" Ludwig rolled his eyes, gently chuckling at his brother. "Wish I was."
The two brothers' efforts eventually paid off, with Roderich finally being patched up. He was exhausted; the only thing Roderich really wanted to do was rest. He made his way back downstairs and headed back into his room. It was then just Gilbert and Ludwig in the bathroom.
Gilbert sighed "Lud, you're doing brunch, ay big guy?" Ludwig nodded, standing up. "I'll get right to it..."
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Vash peeked out of his room, looking both ways of the hall before heading out. A pack of cigarettes in his hand along with a half empty lighter, he ascended into a hall. Vash was stopped by the faint sound of sobs, his head tracing back to the noise.
...
Lilli?
Vash left the two items in his hand in a table drawer, opening the door to Lilli's room instead. Lilli was sat on her bed, the sleeves of her light pink pyjama top stained red with Roderich's blood. She was crying into a dirty pillow, small gasps for air breaking the cries.
He gasped softly and approached Lilli "Lilli..." he began "I- what's reduced you to such a state?" Lilli looked up, Vash holding her chin in his hand. He used his thumb to gently wipe away the tears that swam down her cheek. "It's okay, Lilli. I'm here..." Vash said quietly.
"What's wrong?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her. Lilli looked up reluctantly, gulping slightly. "When Roderich got beat up..." Lilli sniffled "I just- I- I got overwhelmed by all the blood and-"'
Vash gasped softly "Oh, Lilli.." he muttered, "hey, hey, it's okay."
As Lilli cried into his shoulder, Vash reflected a bit on that past conversation with him and Gilbert. Vash had an undoubted habit of letting his own personal grudges get in the way of things, but never did he think about it in a way that would affect his dear sister.
Why? Lilli needed him. But he was only told about Roderich. Maybe if he'd put that damn grudge aside for a few minutes, Lilli wouldn't be as she is right now?
No wonder he was always labelled as the 'quiet kid'. The one that seemed to hate everyone. The one that seemed violent. Looking back, he's just pulling himself into such a stereotype. Letting his grudges get in the way of helping people he's supposed to care about? Being easily angered over things that won't matter in a few weeks?
...
Well, as they always say...
'That's Vash for ya.'
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All the family - minus the still recovering Roderich, sat around the table, Ludwig putting the plates down on the table.
Lunch began silently. No one in the family really enjoyed sitting down for lunch together, but anything to seem at least a little less dysfunctional, huh?
Finally, Vash broke the silence. "Father?" Vash asked, still staring down at his plate. Gauthier looked up, placing his fork down. "You know it's rude to not look at someone you're having a conversation with, Vash." He discreetly rolled his eyes, looking back up. "As I was about to say, the rat problem's acting up again."
Gauthier sighed "Vash, there's not much we can do now. You think exterminators will even bother with this shithole house?" He asked rhetorically, meanwhile picking his fork up again.
"... Maybe we could get a cat?" asked Lilli "they'd-" Lilli was stopped, Gauthier butting in. "A cat? Are you kidding? Even if you claim it to be of good use, no way in fucking hell are we getting a pet. That shitbag bird Gilbert has is already annoying enough."
"Hey! Gilbird isn't-" Ludwig slapped his hand over Gilbert's mouth, preventing any more commotion.
"Might I remind everyone here to not leave their manners by that fucking doorway?" Gauthier said, sick of the antics exhibited by the siblings.
A quick nod came from both Lilli and Ludwig, the latter uttering "Yes, father."
Lilli seemed to leave her food alone, not even picking at it. She felt sick to her stomach. Sure, she'd seen some injuries worse than Roderich's, but... the stress. The overwhelm. The fact that she was the one who first saw him like that, and the main person who had to treat his injuries. Lilli was normally on edge, but even more so now.
"Father?" Lilli asked, nervous. "Lilli, what? You've barely even-"
"May I be excused? I have chores to-"
"Woah, hold on, you think you can just cut in on me like that?"
"... I-"
"You know what? Excuse yourself. Go to your room and don't bother fucking coming out until you can muster up enough of your pathetic thoughts and worry to apologize. And screw it, no dinner on top of that. I work to fucking feed all six of us and you respond by leaving every last fucking piece on your plate?"
Lilli stayed quiet, too scared to respond to anything.
"Why are you just standing there?"
"Father, I-"
Lilli was cut off by Gauthier coming out from his chair. He walked up, slapping the side of her face. She made no noise, holding the side he'd hit. The rest of the siblings looked at the situation, stunned. Vash slowly rose up, anger in his eyes. Ludwig wasn't in the mood for any more escalation of Gauthier's fury, reaching his arm from across the table to push Vash back down.
"So?" Gauthier said, crossing his arms. Lilli nodded, walking back down to her room.
He sighed. Gauthier picked up his plate, bringing it into his study along with himself.
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"Lilli?"
Lilli looked over her shoulder, after having been sat crying on her bed. It was Ludwig.
"Father's gone. Did you want something to eat? We'll just- just go eat out. Vash is out walking to blow off some steam, and Roderich's still recovering, so it'll just be me, you, and Gilbert." Lilli's stomach seemed to say yes for her, hearing how it'd been growling.
Ludwig chuckled. Lilli gave a small one too, getting up from her bed. She grabbed a jacket hung up on the back of her door, heading out with Ludwig. Her smile wasn't exactly common - nor was it rare. Lilli's small smile, even if it just meant a tiny smirk, always radiated a warm, consoling feeling.
It really made any of her brothers feel at least a little better about this whole situation. But it also reminded them in a way. They, in a legal sense, were completely allowed to leave.
But Lilli couldn't.
Gauthier being the only adult with custody over her, along with his unpleasant character, meant he almost had full control over her. Gauthier felt he could support any argument, even if it was a completely unreasonable one with 'Because I'm your father and I said so.'
Ludwig knew Lilli didn't deserve to grow up like this. In fact, he knew that no one does. But low and behold, he, Gilbert, Roderich, and Vash did. It almost felt like at some times - the way that man raised them, along with the ways of putting up with his bullshit, made up more of them than their actual personality. It affected all of them badly enough. And poor Lilli was turning out just like that.
...
The three siblings headed out into the car. It was a car all four of the older boys shared. Emphasis on 'shared'. Although, technically, Roderich bought it, paid for it, and had it under his name, it was the same car they always used and argued over. Ludwig was driving, Gilbert had called shotgun as soon as they passed the front steps, and Lilli had the whole back of the car to herself. The city lights around them flew by as they went, painting the world around them.
But the lights of the houses and apartments were what was most fascinating. Those places had people. Families. Roommates. Couples. No two were the same. The Germanics, despite everything that went on with them, were just one of millions. There were people like them, but not exactly them. And those families? Another one. Another snowflake in a snowstorm.
They knew most of those homes. They'd seen people move in and out of them. Some homes were smaller than theirs, some were bigger. Some were also run down, but most were better. When they drove past those homes, they saw...
People.
Timo and Berwald trying to keep up with their sons, Lukas and Emil sat there on the deck having hot chocolate, the Italians cooking together, the Benelux siblings talking money, the younger two Australians watching as Jack had some new animal following him around, the faces family listening as Alfred ranting on as to why it was spelt 'humor' and not 'humour', the Baltics... I'm scared to ask what they're doing, and even more.
They looked... functional. Something the Germanics weren't used to. They wanted to be 'normal' like them - not in a stereotypical family role type way, since everyone was far from that, but in a dynamic way. Why couldn't they just blindly get along? Why couldn't they have more happy moments than bad ones?
...
At this point, why couldn't Gauthier have just been gone from the beginning? Why was he not dead, but Alia had to be? Alia would've worked her hardest to give all five of them the life they deserved. She wouldn't have made every damn thing eggshells around her. She wouldn't have cared if they didn't turn out exactly how she wanted - she just would've wanted them to be happy. To be healthy. To be safe.
But Gauthier? The only patenting he ever knew was from his father.
He made his ways just like him.
Gauthier didn't want to do that.
He despised his father more than any man. But... Gauthier couldn't break the cycle. He let it run once again. The Germanics had to be exactly how he wanted. They had to be obedient. They had to ask no questions. They couldn't protest. They had to be what he defined as a 'strong' person. Yet still, it was okay for him to sit around, making demands and wasting his life on alcohol all fucking day long?
Seriously - how does a man like that raise five fucking kids? And on top of that, expects them to turn out fine? And that's not even going into detail on how unusually cruel that man could be. Everything that led up to him being the man he was - although it was an explanation, it was far from any excuse.
The only time they ever felt they could even slightly be normal was when Gauthier was gone. Even more, if they were away from that lousy excuse of a home. This was one of those moments, a sweet relief in a sour atmosphere.
The car continued its journey, Ludwig eventually pulling up to a restaurant. "Alright," he muttered, "what do we want?" Gilbert looked up from his phone, thinking for a second. "Uh- yeah- full meal combo for me. No pickles on the burger, Fanta to drink, and some sweet 'n sour sauce."
"You, Lils?" Lilli was distracted by the lights outside, her head suddenly snapping back towards Ludwig. "Hm... just that salad I always get. And just some water too." Ludwig gave a quick nod as he finally entered the drive-thru. "I'll get the same thing as you, Lilli. Maybe just a coffee as well for me." Gilbert chuckled as Ludwig said the coffee part, now fully putting his phone back in his pocket. "Yeah. Like you haven't had enough damn coffee today."
"Only thing keeping me sane at this point..." Ludwig rolled his eyes in response to Gilbert along with the sentence. He ordered the food from the drive-thru speakers, quickly getting it and handing each sibling's respective items out to them.
"Hold on. I'll see if there's somewhere more suitable we can eat too. I'd rather not eat in here while I can smell cigarettes in the car from someone." Ludwig slowly turned his eyes towards Gilbert, the albino throwing his hands up in protest. "Hey! Those were Vash's! Not mine! I'd honestly rather vapes anyway!" Ludwig gave a small chuckle and rolled his eyes, Gilbert doing the same in return.
Ludwig eventually stopped at a small cliff on the edge of the town that overlooked a beach. You could see the clear night sky and the stars that painted it, as a cool breeze made the grass sway. It felt like something in a movie almost - but it wasn't.
"Here. Don't leave any trash, though." Ludwig made his way out of the car, Gilbert and Lilli following him.
The three sat down in the grass, eating their food. The tide that lay in front of them crashed into the shore over and over again, creating a calming background noise. It seemed to calm them, combined with the fresh air blown in by the soft winds.
"Man, this is calming," Gilbert said "hey, Lils, your face hurt from that slap? The fucker really has some damn patience, huh?" Lilli chuckled slightly at Gilbert's sarcasm. "No, it's good now. Besides, I've had worse, don't worry." Lilli pointed to the scar on her chin as she said that. The albino gave a smirk, ruffling Lilli's hair.
The three sat alone, the only thing around them was the gentle, dreamy nature. The scene around them provided a temporary comfort, letting them finally... breathe.
"... You know, I really am serious about this whole leaving stuff. But there's a lot in the way." Gilbert sighed, putting down his burger. "Aaaaand what is that?" Ludwig bit his nail before saying "Gil... you know. He's got control over our finances, because his ass job can't pay enough so he'll use our money to make sure we're all covered. That's not even the only way he supports us! And besides, I've said it many times before, Lilli can't leave as easy - she isn't an adult yet! We all agreed we can't leave her alone with Father!"
"Yeah..." mumbled Lilli "I would be terrified if I ended up alone like that. I'd probably end up..." Lilli gulped "I'd be dead or something."
Ludwig sighed, hugging Lilli. "Lilli, no matter which one of us it is, at least one of us would leave freedom behind because of you. We're not leaving you behind, okay?" Ludwig said. Lilli looked up at Ludwig, only being able to hug him. Ludwig was slightly shocked by the sudden gesture, Gilbert giving a chuckle at it. Ludwig looked down at his little sister, awkwardly hugging her back.
"Awwww-"
"Shut up. Please."
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When the three eventually finished, they disposed of their trash in a nearby bin before getting back in the car. Ludwig started the car, beginning to drive off. The world that surrounded them was dark, lights painting the streets they drove by. Gilbert's head hung out the window, his chin resting in his hand. Lilli had fallen asleep in the back with her knees tucked up towards her chest.
The group eventually arrived at the house, Ludwig carrying Lilli in as she slept. Gilbert followed, looking around the area. "Man... have you ever thought how sketchy this place looks?" Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Yes... I've lived here my whole life, I think it's easy to assume I'd have seen by now."
Gilbert shrugged. "Just saying." Ludwig shook his head, sighing. He went downstairs and headed to Lilli's room. He gently pulled back the blankets, putting Lilli in the bed. After that, he turned on a lamp and turned off the lights, leaving the room.
Ludwig went into his room and sat down on the desk chair right by his desk. He wheeled himself in, opening his laptop to start working.
...
And as usual, fell asleep at his desk at a ridiculous hour...
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(A\N: I really have no explanation for this lateness. Just pray it won't happen again. Also, I felt the need to clarify, this is a modern, human au.)