The Number of the Beast

Dean jolts in the chair.

For a moment, it's hard to focus. The memories from Heaven are bombarding his mind and confusing what his eyes are trying to see. It takes some deep breaths and a lot of blinking before he's sure that he is back in the bunker.

"Dean? Dean, are you okay?" Sam is holding on to his shoulder, and Dean tries to ground himself fully through the connection.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Dean sounds like he's run a marathon. It's a lot to sort through months of memories in what has probably only been a few minutes.

Damn, he'd been happy. So completely, stupidly happy. He doesn't think he's ever felt that way before.

He'd been at peace.

And for the first time in a very long time, he had felt a deep, profound love for someone other than his brother. Of course, he knew he cared about Cas when he was alive, he would lay down his life for him in a heartbeat, but he had always been in fight-or-flight mode, never settled enough to just be and feel.

Just being.

Dean turns around in his seat. Castiel has removed his hands, and has taken a step back, as if to give Dean some space. There's an apologetic look in Castiel's eyes, but he also seems scared of how Dean might react.

"I can't believe I forgot…" Dean whispers.

"Forgot what?" Sam looks confused and eager to find out, clearly thinking this is all about Dean's latest revival and not an existential crisis on the emotional level.

Dean doesn't answer. He just gets up from his chair and walks up to Castiel. Castiel tenses for a moment, as if expecting Dean to hit him. Instead, Dean grabs each side of Castiel's face and pulls him into a desperate kiss. It's been too long. And Dean might still be a bit angry about their last interaction, but screw that. Right now, he just needs to do this, to communicate 'I missed you' and 'I'm sorry' and 'How could I forget about you?' Castiel immediately melts against Dean and reciprocates with his own unspoken words.

They don't pull apart until Sam coughs loudly behind them. Dean turns around with an annoyed look due to the interruption. Sam has a fist in front of his mouth, trying to hide his chuckling, but he's deliberately unsuccessful. "Well, that explains all the eye sex I've had to endure for 12 years."

"Shut up," Dean answers, annoyed that he can feel a small blush creeping up his neck. He knows that people, and angels, and demons, and who knows how many monsters have commented on his and Cas's relationship. Apparently, they were the only ones in the unknown.

"Anything else you would like to share from your trip down memory lane, or do you two need to get a room?" Sam smirks.

Damn that kid, he's enjoying this way too much.

Dean sits down again and starts telling about everything he remembers. He starts from his arrival in Heaven, sharing a beer with Bobby. He tells Sam about meeting their family and friends, and Sam bravely tries to keep back his tears. Dean ignores it when his baby brother fails to hold the tears back, because he's happy that he can tell Sam these things, and maybe give him a bit of closure and peace as well.

Then comes the difficult part, where the Empty attacks Heaven. When he starts telling them about Death coming to his and Cas's home after their meeting, Cas visibly perks up.

"Death did this?" Sam asks, frowning. "Why would she do that after Jack clearly said no?"

"And why would you say yes? Dean, I thought we agreed-" Castiel begins but Dean cuts him off.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I did it to save Heaven, to make sure that my family would be safe, and that Sam and Eileen and Baby Dean would have a place to go to when it's their time. I couldn't risk it, Cas."

Castiel closes his mouth. He gets it, but he's still disappointed that Dean went behind his back.

"Talking about the kid, how did you get Jack to let you go now? He wouldn't budge even when we were under attack," Dean asks, trying to reduce the tension a bit.

Castiel blushes a little. "When it comes to you, not even Jack dares get in my way."

Dean can't help but smile, Cas looks so damn cut like that, all embarrassed from using his position for personal gain. "Aw angel, come here…" Dean grabs Cas's tie to pull him in for a kiss.

Sam covers his eyes. "Oh God, I don't know if this is better or worse than all the staring and tension."

"Shut up," Dean repeats. Apparently, that's the only comeback he can come up with when Sam gets all little-brother-embarrassed.

"What is the latest status on the battle?" Sam asks loudly, trying to divert them back to the conversation.

Castiel sighs and slowly pulls away from Dean. "We're doing the best we can. The Empty has grown a lot stronger but so has Heaven. But we are still so very few angels compared to what we once were, even though Jack lets souls volunteer if they truly desire it." Castiel looks at Dean, eyes shining. "When Dean disappeared, I thought the Empty had found a way into Heaven. I feared that it had taken you, just to punish me."

"Cas…" Dean breaths. "Damn, I'm so sorry. I never thought about it like that."

"Is that what the Empty wants? To punish you?" Sam asks Cas.

"Me and Jack. I'm the angel who got away twice, and Jack is the reason I got out the last time. Plus, Jack once exploded in the Empty which it didn't appreciate. The Empty is tired of the all the noise and traffic in its realm, and therefore started this war."

"What happens if it wins? Is it true what Death said would happen?" Sam asks.

Castiel shrugs. "We are not sure. But we do know that the souls in Heaven will not be safe."

"So, we still need the Amulets?" Dean knows where Sam is going with this.

"You found them?" Castiel looks surprised.

"Some of them." Dean digs into his inner pocket for the Amulet they found in Death's Library. Sam takes the other one out of his own pocket. They should probably have found better hiding places, but they don't know where they can keep them safe, except with themselves.

They lay them on the table in front of Castiel, and the moment they do so, the two Amulets are drawn to each other like magnets. When they connect, they give a pulse of light.

"Whoa, look at that," Dean exclaims. "It's like the Horsemen's rings all over. That's a good thing, right?"

Castiel puts a hand above the Amulets, without touching them, not daring to. "The power within them is incredible."

"Incredible enough to stop the Empty?" Sam asks.

"I doubt it." Castiel removes his hand again. "Jack is still more powerful than this, and he has difficulties fighting off the Empty."

"But it's a start," Dean concludes.

Sam studies the two symbols carved in the two, small wooden pieces. One looks like an angel, the other a lion's mane. "Remember what Thomas told us about the Gospels being symbolised by animals?"

"Mathew is symbolised by a winged man, Mark by a winged lion, Luke by a winged ox and John by a rising eagle." Castiel rattles off like the star pupil he is.

"So, the lion is Mark, and the angel-looking-guy is Mathew?" Dean thinks out loud. "Good, halfway there, let's go find Luke and John."

"How did you find the first two Amulets?" Castiel inquires.

Sam tells Cas about their trip to Miami to see Chuck, and their trip to Hell.

Castiel is very interested in the test they had to go through. "You say that your loyalty helped you out?"

"Yeah, that's Rowena's theory," Dean shrugs.

Castiel nods. "Yes, that would make sense. Chuck probably intended for the Amulets to be found by someone loyal to him, most likely himself or an angel programmed never to betray his orders. More importantly, he probably didn't want Lucifer to be able to retrieve them once he returned from the Empty."

Sam moves on to tell Cas about how they entered Death's Library to find an entrance to the Veil, and ended up finding the book of the Empty that killed them. While telling his story, Sam wonders out loud: "Do you think Death's involvement is why it was so easy for us to enter her Library? I mean, we both expected guards or some kind of protection."

"Wouldn't put it past her. And it would explain why that Reaper suddenly popped up without putting on a fight. Sounds like she's taking over the role of puppeteer from Chuck," Dean grumbles. He knows that he made a choice to come back to life, but all the things that Sophia kept out of the equation makes it feel more and more like an uninformed choice. Like he's been fooled and played with, again.

Sam finishes telling Cas about their meeting with Erebus and how he tested their souls.

"That explains why I felt Dean's soul passing. Even though he didn't pass beyond the Veil, he was technically dead. You both were." Castiel swallows.

"What do you think Chuck meant by this test?" Dean wonders. "Erebus said something about being able to fight the darkness, so my soul wouldn't be contaminated."

Castiel tilts his head a little as he thinks. "In Hell, you had to prove your loyalty. In the Veil, it sounds like you had to prove your honourability. It seems as if Chuck intended to pick a worthy champion to collect the Amulets and fight the Empty."

"Great, we're playing sword in the stone." Dean rubs his temples.

"So, what now? Do we go looking for the last two Amulets?" Sam asks.

"What do you mean? Of course, we do." Dean looks baffled at Sam's unspoken suggestion that they might stop.

"Do we? I mean, you just told us that Death is playing chess with us. She made us think that we could get Cas out of the Empty if we collected the Amulets, but Cas is already out! Are we really gonna do what she wants us to do without knowing her endgame?" Sam counters.

Dean adjusts in his seat to better face Sam. "Did you not hear what's going on in Heaven? The Empty is still trying to take over everything! Do you want it to swallow all of Heaven, including mom and dad?"

"Of course not, but I don't want to be someone's pawn again either!"

Dean growls and covers his head in his hands. He doesn't want to be Death's puppet either but if Sam just knew what they had to lose in Heaven… "Sam, please. I don't like it, I really, really don't, but I think this is our best chance. And I can't let the Empty take over Heaven. Not after everything Jack and Cas did to make it right."

Sam looks over at Cas. Dean resists looking at Cas as well, letting Cas reflect whatever emotion or message to Sam that he wants to without Dean's influence.

Whatever Cas communicates, it makes Sam take a deep, resigning breath. "Okay. Let's catch some sleep and decide on our next move tomorrow."

-.-.-.-.-

They go home to Sam's house. Dean is extremely happy to introduce Cas to his nephew, even though the kid is asleep. Cas agrees that he is the most perfect baby in all of creation, and that has to count for something. Dean is almost just as happy to introduce him to Miracle. Miracle accepts her owner's boyfriend the moment Cas pets her, and Cas is immediately enamoured with the dog as well.

Then they settle in the guest bedroom.

They start going through their normal routine of changing into nightwear. As usual, Castiel borrows some of Dean's, except it's actually Sam's and Dean is borrowing it himself. It's not until the moment where Dean hands the softest t-shirt over to Cas that he realises what he's doing. He's being domestic again, while being alive, on Earth, with Cas. For some reason, it makes what he and Cas has even more real than in Heaven. Sam knows. Eileen knows. And it feels both frightening and thrilling.

They settle in bed, in their usual position with Cas resting his head on Dean's chest. Dean knows Cas is listening for his heartbeat. And now, it matters even more than ever.

They lie in silence until Castiel whispers: "I missed this. I missed you."

Dean is about to say it back, except, the can't. He didn't remember any of this. Sure, he missed Cas and had this odd longing for him, but it was because he thought Cas were in the Empty, not because he remembered going to sleep with his arms full of snuggled-up angel.

"Why did your heart start beating faster when I said that?"

Damn, Dean hadn't noticed his physical reaction to his own thoughts. He tries to come up with a decent lie for a few seconds but quickly gives up. "Do you know why I couldn't remember? I… I don't understand how I could forget everything… You…" Dean shakes his head and swallows hard. He looks to the opposite side of where Cas is, staring at the curtain-covered window.

Castiel squeezes Dean's chest. "I don't know. I guess Death didn't care or has ulterior motives that we can only speculate about. Normally, people do not remember what they have experienced in dead when they are brought back to life. You don't remember all the times you have been in Heaven either. Maybe Death just didn't care to make you remember this time."

Dean turns his head and buries his nose in Cas's hair. He mumbles into the silky strains: "Sophia's a bitch." He revels in the feel of Cas chuckling underneath his chin.

Dean stays like that for a while, just breathing in the crisp smell of Cas while focusing on the thumb that Cas slowly caresses his chest with, as if trying to help calm Dean down.

Then Dean slowly pulls back to catch Cas's eyes, another question burning in his mind. "Why did you not want me to go? Back to Earth, I mean. To look for the Chuck. Didn't you think I could do it?"

Castiel smiles sadly and lifts a hand to caress Dean's chin. "Oh, Dean… It never had anything to do with your skills and especially not your lack thereof. I have known you for so many years, and I will never question what you are capable of. I just don't want you to get hurt. I know how you always sacrifice yourself to save others. I was just… afraid to lose you."

Oh… well, Dean can relate to that. "I get that. I feel the same about you. But I still had your back."

"I know… I guess we still have some things to work out in this new dynamic of ours." Castiel takes Dean's hand, drawing gentle circles with his thumb across the dorsum.

Dean squeezes Cas's hand in return. "So, in it together? You, me, Sam? The OG Team Free Will."

Castiel smiles. "Yes, I would like that very much."

-.-.-.-.-

"So, Heaven or Purgatory?" Dean asks, clapping his hands together as if they are just planning what to have for dinner. He's cooking breakfast, probably double the amount of what they can eat, but he's feeling happy and optimistic. He woke up with big, blue angel eyes looking at him like he hung the moon, even though all he did was wake up. They are halfway through their mission, and it feels damn good to have this kind of purpose again.

Dean places the stack of pancakes on the table, next to the toasted bread, eggs, bacon, and the fruit he reluctantly added just to be a good brother. He squeezes Castiel's knee as he sits down next to him, making the angel smile at him.

"Finally, real bacon." Eileen sits with Baby Dean in her lap, feeding him. In between making sure Baby Dean eats his food, she grabs whatever she can for herself, mostly from the small mountain of bacon.

Sam turns to her, looking a little offended. "I thought you liked my bacon?"

"Yes, I like your bacon, not the fake kind you make." She underlines the 'yours' by poking Sam's side.

Dean throws his head back and laughs. He raises a hand and Eileen takes the invite for a high five.

"You two are awful." Sam stabs some pancakes from the enormous stack, the best substitute he has for stabbing Dean.

Dean fills his own mouth. "So, where to today?"

"Well, we'll need Archangel grace to open the portal to Purgatory. Where are we going to find that these days?" Sam asks, digging into the pancakes.

"There are no more Archangels," Castiel states, picking at the fruit. "Jack decided to create all angels equal."

"Typical." Dean shakes his head. He's proud of the kid for making things so much better, but right now, he'd rather have an Archangel.

"We'll need to dig into the lore to see if we can find some other way to get to Purgatory, or maybe something that can replace Archangel grace," Sam muses.

"Maybe you can use my grace?" Castiel suggests.

"We could try. I just don't think it would be enough, Cas. Sorry." Sam pokes at his pancakes while thinking. "How about Heaven? Can you get Dean and me up there?"

Castiel shakes his head even as Sam finishes asking the question. "No. You are both alive. You cannot enter Heaven. But I can."

"You think you can get Jack to help you? Or maybe some of the hunters?" Dean suggests, not liking the idea of Cas going through whatever test is waiting for them by himself.

"Maybe," Castiel smiles reassuringly.

"Good. Meanwhile, Dean and I'll try to find a way into Purgatory." Sam nods, accepting the plan.

"Please don't do anything stupid." Castiel sends both Sam and Dean a knowing, pleading look.

Eileen huffs a laugh, drawing their attention. She looks at Castiel with an expression clearly saying: 'Have you met these idiots?'

-.-.-.-.-

The moment Castiel returns to Heaven, he can feel the shift in the power that runs through the fabric of the realm. Though Jack's light still prevails, the shadows of the Empty are clearly more prominent than earlier.

He's filled with guilt that he spent the night with Dean instead of coming back to fight, but after fearing for weeks that the Empty had taken Dean, he had been so relieved to find him alive and well. Well, maybe not happy to find him alive, but it was better than most alternatives.

He immediately zones in on Jack's location and flies to him.

Jack is standing in front of the Grand Gate, the main entrance to Heaven, joined by multiple angels who are pouring power into the Gate to keep out the Empty. Just like the halls and offices representing the administration of Heaven, the Gate represents the barrier between Heaven and everything else. The barrier feeds on the grace and divine energy from the angels and Jack. If it breaks, the Empty will be free to attack them directly, and they will most likely not stand a chance.

"Dad!" Jack instantly feels Castiel's presence and runs to him. "Did you find Dean?"

Despite Jack prioritising to protect Heaven and the free will of Earth, he has still been worried about the older Winchester who had gone missing from his care. They were, after all, family, even if Jack carried so much responsibility that he could not put his family above everything else anymore. Still, to lose a family member that he had sworn to protect had been a great burden to the young deity.

"Yes. He's on Earth, with Sam. He's safe," Castiel quickly reassures.

Jack sighs with relief. "That's good. But how?"

"Long story short? Death put her plan into action behind our backs. She brought Dean back to life to find Chuck and get him to tell where the Amulets are. Since then, Dean and Sam have been looking for the Amulets and have already found two of them."

"Dang it, I didn't think she would do that. I need to get her to work with me instead of around me." Jack puts his fisted hands at his sides in annoyance and contemplation.

"Jack, what's the status with the Empty?" Castiel looks around at his desperate brothers and sisters who are fighting the dark energy coming from outside.

Jack looks back to the Gate and immediately sends a flash of energy against it, making the energy on the other side recoil for a while. "It's getting stronger. We keep finding tentacles trying to seep in through the smallest cracks in our defence. I fear it might already be in here, and we just haven't discovered it yet."

"But if it's inside, why hasn't it attacking us from within?"

"I don't know… It's just a bad feeling I have."

Castiel nods. He could feel it the moment he got here. If the Empty really has entered Heaven and is tiptoeing around, that is a very bad omen. "Listen, Jack. Like I said, Sam and Dean already found two of the Amulets. There are two more, one of which is hidden here in Heaven. If we collect the last two pieces, maybe we can fight off the Empty as Chuck intended to do."

Jack bites his lip. He doesn't like it, but he guesses that the damage has already been done. One quick look at the struggling angels around him makes up his mind. "Alright. Where is it?"

"I don't know," Castiel sighs. "Sam said something about 'the darkest corners'. The first Amulet was placed in the innermost circle of Hell. The second one was guarded by Erebus in the Veil. They seem to be placed where Chuck did not think that his enemies could reach."

"But Heaven is Chuck's. How could his enemies get in here?" Jack flares his arms, indicating everything around them. Castiel just sends a look at the Gate that is shaking due to the impacts coming from outside. Jack gapes for a moment. "Oh, right. But is there a place in Heaven that the Empty can't get to?"

Castiel closes his eyes, trying to focus his thoughts. A place in Heaven that he might not have been to. A place where the Empty would not want to enter. What would be the darkest place in Heaven? He opens his eyes at realisation. "Maybe. There is one place. The darkest place of Heaven, the place where Lucifer fell."

-.-.-.-.-

Castiel grabs onto Jack, leading him to this outer point of Heaven. After Lucifer's Fall, all the angels had been instructed to stay away from this place. It was supposed to stand as a haunted monument where you would only enter to defy God and thereby be no better than Lucifer.

The place is hard to describe. It is constructed like the Garden, where everyone sees something different, depending on what their vision of the location of the Fall would be. Castiel hasn't been here since before the Fall, not taking part in the battle between the Archangels, and since then he has stayed away like the God-obedient soldier he used to be.

Around him, Castiel sees a beautiful garden. Lush, green, colourful with flowers from all over Earth and from his own imagination. It is a symbol of the beauty and power in Heaven that he feels. It is only interrupted by a wide, deep, dark gash, like a rift in the universe shaped by Lucifer's wings as they were forced through the fabric of everything, a crater symbolising the battle that forever changed and stained the Heaven that he loves so much. Little sparkles of grace lace the darkness of the rift, traces of the great power that was used to expel Lucifer from the Divine Kingdom.

Jack walks up to the gash in the fabric of Heaven. "Why did Chuck not remove this?"

"I'm not sure he could." Castiel walks up next to his son, looking into the impenetrable darkness. "The energy that was necessary to cast Lucifer out was not only Chuck's, but the Archangels'. Anyway, he used it as a threat against the rest of us, as a symbol of what would happen if we defied him."

"I'm sorry. I don't understand why he would treat you like that." Jack sends a small smile at his dad before he starts walking around the gash, looking into the pit. "So, where's the Amulet?"

"It was protected by a trial in the other two locations. There must be a sign or something that indicates the right location." Castiel starts walking in the opposite direction of Jack, but they don't find anything. They just end up on the opposite side.

"I don't see anything," Jack states the obvious.

"Do you feel anything? These Amulets are quite powerful." Castiel looks at Jack, and the deity closes his eyes and concentrates, but he only answers with a sad headshake.

Jack squats down to look even closer at the gash. He carefully touches the edge. "Maybe this isn't the right place."

"This is the only place I can think of that the Empty might not be able to enter. No one knows what is down there." And then something dawns on Castiel. "Naybe that is the test. If Chuck intended to choose his champion through these trials, he would want someone devoted to him. Someone willing to take a leap of faith, but not fall for darkness, even at the darkest of places."

Jack stands up. "You think we should jump into that hole? Dad, we don't even know what's in there. I can't sense anything except all the remnant grace."

"Like I said: Leap of faith." Before Jack can stop him or talk him out of it, Castiel takes a step forward and lets the darkness swallow him.

-.-.-.-.-

Castiel would not say that he is afraid of the dark. Being in the Empty was not only darkness, but the feeling of every bad emotion that he has ever felt, twisted and multiplied by the Shadow. Normal darkness did not have that. It was just colourless peacefulness to him. At least, it used to be. One of the many benefits of sleeping next to Dean every night, listening to his heartbeat, was the constant reminder of the life and love that he was surrounded by, even in the darkness of their bedroom, all wrapped up in the bump-bump bump-bump of Dean heart.

The darkness that surrounds him now is ominously close to the eternal darkness of the Empty. Had it not been for the tinkle of grace around him and the distinct feeling of falling, he might have crumbled up in panic. Instead, he wonders when he will hit the bottom of this eternalness, and if he will survive the fall.

But slowly, his fall stops.

He is hovering in the middle of the nothingness, and it is almost worse than the falling. Just hanging in an invisible string, not being able to go anywhere. Just like in the Empty.

"Do you love God?"

The voice comes from everywhere and nowhere. It's male and female, nothing and everything. Castiel tries to look around to identify the source, but he is not sure if he is actually turning or just standing still, looking at the same darkness. "What?"

"Do you love God?"

This must be part of the test. Of course, Chuck's ego is more than big enough to demand love and devotion from his champion.

But Castiel is no longer devoted to Chuck. Far from it. He has defied God for the Winchesters and assisted in God's ultimate destruction.

For a terrifying moment, Castiel feels himself drop in the nothing again. He fears that whatever it is that is asking these questions, it can sense his reluctance and has decided to throw him to Hell, burning his wings and corrupting his being on the way. But luckily, he stops in the air again.

"Do you love God?"

The voice is more insistent this time, and Castiel knows that this will be his last chance before he will fall and be expelled from Heaven forever.

He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't love his father, not anymore. Honestly, he probably never did. He had been devoted out of fear, which is as far from love as one can possibly come. He just didn't know any better before meeting Dean. And Sam. And… Jack.

Jack! Of course! Jack is God now. He possesses all of God's powers and responsibilities. Chuck hid the Amulets before Jack absorbed his powers, so he didn't know at the time what was going to happen.

"Yes. I love God with all my heart," Castiel says proudly, envisioning his son standing in front of the Gate, keeping the darkness at bay to protect not only Castiel but all of Heaven.

"Will you follow the will of God blindly?"

"Yes." He did even when Jack was in his mother's womb. Today, Jack would always explain his actions to Castiel. They would debate it, but in the end, Castiel would follow Jack's lead, just as he had done during the discussion where Death suggested searching for the Amulets in the first place.

"Will you bow to those that God tells you to bow to, even humanity?"

Chuck really needed an ego check at the time he created this trial. This was not about loving humanity, just following Chuck's orders and loving his creation, his writing. But Castiel already bowed to humanity. He has seen their strength and kindness time and time again. He has also seen the opposite, but the light far outshines the dark in humanity.

"Yes."

-.-.-.-.-

Castiel feels the string that he has been hanging from pulling him up, faster than he had been falling. In seconds, he is back in the blinding light of the garden.

Jack rushes to stand above him, and that's when Castiel realises that he is lying on his back. "Dad! Are you okay?"

Castiel slowly sits up. "Yes, I think I'm alright." He sits up, and in that moment, he discovers that his hand is fisted. He opens it, and there lies the third amulet.

"That's it?" Jack asks. Castiel nods and holds out the Amulet. Jack takes it, and the small wooden piece pulsates. "Whoa, it's powerful!"

"Yes, they all are. Even more so when put together."

"So now, we just need one more piece?" Jack asks, eyes glistening with hope and excitement like a child the day before Christmas.

"Yes. Sam and Dean are looking into it right now."

Jack nods. "Good. I have to get back to the Gate. I can feel the Empty's increased force whenever I'm gone for too long. Let me know if you need me."

"Don't worry, we'll figure it out. Go, protect Heaven. I'll let you know when we have the last Amulet."

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A/N: Want to see an illustration of the Amulet in this chapter (And future chapters)? Find the story at AO3