Under Pressure

Dean is jumpy. He knows that Cas should be safe in Heaven. Jack would never let anything happen to Cas – He didn't dig him out of the Empty just to let it take him away again. But it sounds like the Empty is trying to crawl its way through every crack in Heaven it can find. And if that bastard gets its hand, or tendrils, or whatever on Cas again…

"Speed limit." Sam almost sounds bored, being used to Dean taking his emotions with him when he drives.

Dean huffs annoyedly but lifts off the gas, just a little.

-.-.-.-.-

The common areas of the bunker are filled with life again. Three hunters are sitting around a map, planning a hunt. Another is cleaning her gun. They all greet Sam and give a nod of courtesy to Dean. Thomas and Morgan are intensely discussing something, gesturing at a yellowed old document.

Sam waves at them, like the dork he is, before he turns to Dean. "So, where should we start?"

"You're asking me?" Dean asks disbelief.

Sam acknowledges Dean's reasoning with a lift of his eyebrows. "Right. I guess we should start in the uncatalogued part of the storage. Maybe someone left some Archangel grace?"

"Yeah, cause people just leave that stuff all over the place." Dean drags a hand down his face.

"Do you have a better idea?" Sam snaps.

Dean answers by just walking towards the storages. On his way, he sends a quiet prayer despite knowing the line of communication are cut. Hey, Cas. If you can hear me, we're in the bunker, in the storage. Hit us up as soon as you're back, okay?

The storage hasn't changed much, but Dean can see small labels in small, neat handwriting on the items that have been catalogued. It's not Sam's writing, so Dean assumes it's Thomas's. "You catalogued all this?"

"Well, it helped to get some extra hands," Sam answers pointedly.

Dean makes a noncommittal sound. "So, all these with labels are not angel grace. That just leaves all the rest."

"I'll start in the back." Sam disappears in the labyrinth of bookcases.

Dean sighs but picks up the first unlabelled box he sees. He looks for any symbols that would indicate what's inside. No matter how much he wants to find a remnant of Archangel grace, he doesn't want to release a demon or a curse or a wicked witch. They have plenty of evil to deal with right now. He doesn't see any warning signs and carefully opens the box. It looks like a small silver whistle. For a second, his inner child tells him to try it, but he knows better and closes the box. For a second, he considers if they should label the things now that they are looking at all this stuff but judging by the details on all the other labels, Dean doubts his scrawled 'silver whistle' will be good enough for Thomas.

He continues like that, checking item after item, and it is so incredibly slow. He hates this process. He keeps thinking about an acceptable excuse to get out of it – old habits die hard – but he knows that they are twice as fast when they are two to do the job.

Then he gets to a box that seems familiar, but he doesn't remember why at first. It's a small, flat wooden box. He opens it and finds what looks like a big syringe. "Hey, Sam!"

Sam comes around the end of the bookcase. His eyes widen when he sees the box. "Haggerty's grace extractor."

And then Dean remembers Sam telling him about his and Cas's little adventure in the inner workings of angelic possession. "You think we can use this?"

"Where would you extract the grace from?" Sam frowns.

"Me," Dean says slowly. "Maybe I still have some grace in me. Like you did."

Sam shakes his head. "I don't think so. Cas said that it disappears over time."

"Michael was an Archangel. Maybe it takes longer to digest," Dean argues.

"Dean, you've been dead. I salted and burned your body. Do you really think Death recreated whatever grace might be left in you?"

"Why not? Crazier things have happened!"

Sam huffs and runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, listen. If we're going to try that, Cas should do it. He knows where to look. So, let's keep it as a plan B, for now, and keep looking?"

Dean closes the box and puts it back. "Fine."

They go back to digging. Box after box, weird amulet following unknown bones. Dean hates the silence. "So, if we find this grace, how are we going to do it?"

Sam answers a few bookcases away: "I guess we perform the spell, and I will stay back to keep the portal open for as long as possible. Unless you want to learn some new latin?"

"Nooo, thank you." Dean picks up a huge token to check if, for some reason, someone should have hidden a bottle of grace inside the pages. "You sad not to go?"

"My only trip to Purgatory was-" Sam stops mid-sentence, and Dean hears his quick steps approach before he appears around the far end of the bookcase. "Oh my God, we are such idiots!"

"Whoa, why am I included in that statement?"

"Remember the second trial? When I got Bobby's soul out of Hell?"

"Yeah? You want to get a ride from a Reaper?"

"No. I went through Purgatory to get to Hell. We can just do the reverse!"

Dean dumps the heavy token. "Holy crap, we are idiots."

-.-.-.-.-

Sam is preparing the spell to go to Hell, and Dean is pacing a hole in the floor. Dean doesn't want to leave before he knows Cas is safe, but Sam has a point when he says that they have no idea how long it will take for Cas to find the location in Heaven where the Amulet is hidden, nor how long it will take to finish the test. Also, he might have to help out against the Empty's attack before coming back.

What Dean is hearing, is that Sam is not sure if Cas is coming back. And he can't stand it.

The other hunters have left the common areas by now, chased away by Dean's toxic aura. Only Thomas and Morgan are left in one end of the library table. They pretend not to keep an eye on Sam and Dean, but they are clearly curious about what is going on. Dean hates feeling watched.

"We're ready." Sam's words cut through Dean's thoughts, making him stop short.

"We should wait for Cas."

Sam sighs: "Dean, I know you're worried. I am too. But the sooner we collect all the Amulets, the better. You heard Cas earlier. The Empty is wearing Jack and the other angels down."

Dean huffs: "Right, I know. I just- I can't- Damnit, Sam, I can't let the Empty take him away again."

"I'm sure he's fine. Jack would never let-"

"I know!" Dean interrupts a little too loud. He takes a deep breath, trying not to take his frustration out on Sam. "I know… Let's go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, let's do this." Dean looks down the table at Thomas and Morgan. "Hey! If a guy in a trench coat comes by, tell him to meet us at Rowena's. And don't shoot him." He emphasises the last words by pointing at Morgan, his facial expression letting her know that he means it. He then prays to Cas again, hoping the angel somehow gets the message to meet them in Hell.

-.-.-.-.-

They are once again greeted by Phil, who seems very tempted to kill them for disturbing him again so soon. He huffs all the way down to the throne room, where Rowena greets them from her throne.

Rowena dismisses all the demons in the room before spreading her arms in a huge air hug. "Boys! Oh my, two visits in a week. Things must be really bad."

"Hey, Rowena," Sam greets, walking up to accept the hug. "We need your help again."

"Of course, Samuel. What do you need?" Rowena sits straighter on the throne, looking evey part the queen that she now is.

"We need to use the backdoor between Hell and Purgatory," Dean states.

Rowena almost looks dissapointed. "That´s it? Not what I expected, but-"

In that moment, they are interrupted by the swoosh of wings. They all turn towards the sound, seeing Cas stand behind them.

"Cas!" Dean quickly runs to the angel and hugs him tightly.

"The trigger-happy woman told me where to find you." Castiel hugs Dean back.

Dean laughs and pulls back, giving Cas a quick kiss on the cheek before he steps away and turns to the others.

"Well hello, Castiel. Long time, no see." Rowena looks happily smirk. "I must say, you boys really fixed it, didn't you?"

Dean hates the blush he can feel crawling up his neck. "Yeah, yeah, can we move on?"

"What are you doing here in Hell?" Castiel frowns. "I thought you were looking for a way to Purgatory?"

Sam quickly tells both Castiel and Rowena about when he went to free Bobby's soul and how they want to use that backdoor now to get into Purgatory to find the last Amulet.

In return, Castiel tells them about his little adventure in Heaven, and how he had to prove his devotion and love to God to retrieve the third Amulet.

"You've got to be kidding me? How much bigger can Chuck's ego be?" Dean grunts.

"Luckily, the test was about loving God, not Chuck. And Chuck is no longer God," Castiel says happily.

Dean laughs: "Serves him right."

"That's three down, one to go," Sam summarises. "You said that you had to go to the place where Lucifer was expelled from Heaven. We also had to go to a specific place in Hell and in the Veil. Any idea where we should go in Purgatory?"

Rowena crosses her legs. "Purgatory means 'place of cleansing'. It would be typical of Chuck to want all the monsters to keep away from his wee Amulet. Is there a place in there that would keep them away?"

Dean leans forward in his seat, thinking. "Maybe the portal where we got out of Purgatory? Everything else is just dead forrest."

"But we've been through the portal. We didn't get a prize for that," Sam argues.

"Chuck hadn't moved the Amulets to our universe yet back then," Dean counters.

"The portal is just meant to separate the monsters from the humans in case anything tries to return to Earth," Castiel interupts. "But there is a rumour of a place with a fire that can purify the humans who were turned into monsters. That's why the portal is there to begin with, for them to escape back to Earth. But to my knowledge no one has succeeded yet. Either they have not been purified, or once they have been purified, they have not made it past the other monsters on the road from the fire to the portal."

"Sounds good." Dean nods. "So, we go, get purified, get the last Amulet?"

"Can we get purified? I mean, we're two humans and an angel. We don't qualify as monsters," Sam answers with his own question.

"Boys, sorry to interupt this endearing philisophy class. But no matter how much you discuss this, you won't know until you get there," Rowena states the obvious.

The three men look at each other, coming to a silent agreement to get going.

-.-.-.-.-

They walk along the stream, leading deeper into Purgatory, with their weapons ready for anything that might jump at them.

"Feel anything?" Dean whispers to Cas.

Castiel takes a moment to sharpen his senses. "Yes and no. There are many monsters in this area."

The leaves crackle under their feet and Dean prays that the subtle sound of running water is loud enough to cover the noise.

However, noise is the least of their problems when two vampires suddenly jump them. Castiel barely gets to warn them, angelic sensors obscured by the many entities around them. The vampires go for the two humans, clearly starved enough to ignore the divine entity in the flock.

One of them runs so hard into Dean that they tumble over. He fires his shotgun in surprise but misses by a long shot. Dean instinctively goes with the flow, using the momentum to end up on top of the vampire. He immediately places the shotgun over the vampire's throat to keep the deadly fangs away from his neck. The vampire fights like a rabid dog, snapping in the air in a desperate hope to get its teeth on the tender human flesh above it. Dean uses all of his strength to keep it down, but that also means that he can't make a move to take it out.

The other vampire goes straight for Sam. Sam gets a second more warning than Dean, so he stands his ground when the vampire hits him. Still, it hits him with great force, and comes a bit closer than Sam's liking. He has to drop his shotgun in order to wrestle with the vampire, trying his hardest to push it away. Still, the vampire pushes him through the leaves and up against a tree. Sam wants to kick it away, but he's afraid that if he changes his weight distribution to place the kick, the vampire will push him over, and then he will have the vampire on top of him, giving the monster a bigger advantage. The hungry vampire uses all of its force, and Sam can feel it slowly pushing closer.

Castiel is almost frozen for a moment, trying to analyse the situation quickly to help where he is needed. If he had the time, he would have felt a moment of guilt for instinctively wanting to help Dean first, but he quickly realises that Dean has the overhand over his vampire for the moment, and instead runs to Sam, where the vampire is getting closer and closer to his neck, snapping like a wild animal.

Castiel pulls the head of the vampire back in order not to risk hurting Sam when he slices his angel blade clear through the vampire's neck. The body drops to the ground, and Castiel is left standing with the severed head, the mouth still moving as the nerves cramp for the last time.

"Dean!" Sam immediately forgets the danger he has just been in and turns around to where his brother is still keeping the vampire at bay. He grabs his shotgun from the ground and moves to the side of the wrestling pair. Dean sees him coming and closes his eyes as Sam puts the shotgun to the vampire's head and pulls the trigger.

Dean leans back on his heels as the fight drains from the vampire. He breaths hard and sneers at the blood and brain that is now splattered all over his upper body. "Why does this happen every time we come here?"

Castiel offers Dean a hand to help pull him up, and he takes it. "You are their preferred food group."

Dean tries to remove the worst of the blood from his face with his sleeves. "Great. Always wanted to be a food group."

"Let's keep moving." Sam continues down the stream, and the others follow.

-.-.-.-.-

It's not long until they are in trouble again. This time, however, Castiel is warned in time for them to be ready. It is a single ghoul that cleverly tries to hide, but Dean has a better idea. With Castiel's angel radar, they surround the monster and Cas uses his grace to hold it against the tree that was once its hiding place.

"Hey there," Dean greets, "Lovely day for a walk, isn't it?"

The ghoul answers with a growl.

"Yeah, we could use a bit more sun." Dean continues talking as if they have just met in a park, having a casual chat. "So, how long have you been here?"

The ghoul answers with yet another growl.

Dean's friendly façade immediately drops, and he moves in closer. "Listen up, stinky Pete. Either you tell us what we want to know, and we kill you quickly. Or you don't tell us what we want to know, and we slowly drain you, drop by drop, until there's no more blood left in you. Remind me, how does your kind deal with massive blood loss?"

The ghoul almost whines. They live of the blood and meat of the dead. Removing that from their systems, and they will die, slowly and painfully.

"So, I ask for the last time: How long have you been here?" Dean repeats.

The ghoul hesitates, but when Sam steps closer, pulling out his bluntest pocketknife, it starts speaking. "Years. Too many years." It sounds like it hasn't spoken for years, so Dean's pretty sure it's telling the truth.

"Good. Do you know anything about the Purifying Fire?"

The ghoul cocks his head for a moment. "Why would you want to go there?"

"So, you do know of it," Sam moves closer, knife still in hand. "Where is it?"

"In the werewolves' camp," The ghoul rasps. "They always hope for a monster to get purified, so they can have a fresh, human heart to eat."

Dean wrinkles his nose at the image. But at least, he remembers where the camp is from the first time he was here. It was one of the places that Benny had pointed out to him during their search for Cas, so Dean would know to avoid it.

Dean takes a step back, sending Sam a look that lets his brother know that they have what they need. He then looks at Cas. "Do your thing, honey."

Castiel squints at the unfamiliar pet name, but none the less sends out a wave of grace that kills the ghoul as quickly as Dean promised.

-.-.-.-.-

From a ridge, they look down at the werewolf camp. There are eight werewolves that they can see, maybe more hidden by the trees. But more importantly, in the middle of the camp, there's a small fire burning. It would look like any other dying fire if the flames hadn't been bright white.

"Even if we empty both our silver clips, there's no way we're gonna get a bullseye on all of them." Dean looks back and forth between the camp and over their shoulders, looking out for any threats.

"So we need something more powerful," Sam states. With a quick look around at their surroundings, he comes up with a strategy from the survival catalogue of John Winchester. "Come on."

-.-.-.-.-

Werewolves are odd creatures. Unlike vampires, they don't necessary crave a family. They thrive both alone and in packs. It normally depends on how well they get along as people and if they have the same goals as wolves. Some are trying to be as human as possible, others embrace their transformation to a beast.

But in Purgatory, there's strength in numbers. Its eat or be eaten, so most werewolves have gathered in packs, this one being the biggest.

The only downfall of being many, is that the scarce food becomes even more scarce. If you keep all of your pray to yourself, you get kicked out. If you don't pull your weight, you get kicked out. But when surrounded by vampires, ghouls, and leviathans, it is a small price to pay.

In a world with very limited pray, they have decided to settle down by the Purifying Fire. It doesn't happen often, but once in a while, a stupid creature will come here and take their chance. The werewolves let them, waiting in anticipation. But far too often, the Fire just flares for a few minutes before it dies down again, and no one steps out. It feels like ages since a monster actually stepped out on the other side, maybe centuries. Centuries since they have had a fresh, beating, warm human heart to tear into.

So, when they suddenly smell fresh human, they all perk up. Without much thought, driven by pure instinct and hunger, they all run into the forests. They need to get to this human before any other creature does. They want that tender heart before anyone else can destroy it in their carnage.

There's two. Two scents. Two hearts.

They run faster.

The trees give way for the rocky hills, and they run into the small canyon that shapes the road to the hills. And there they are, the humans, and the werewolves are too consumed by bloodlust to realise the obvious trap they have run into.

-.-.-.-.-

Sam and Dean quickly agree that it has to be one of them that enters the Purifying Fire. They simply don't know how the Fire will react to an angel, but they know that it was created for humans to endure, since the purified monster would step out as human.

They set up the trap. Along the canyon that Sam spotted, they place hand grenades at strategic points. Then all Sam and Dean have to do, is move closer to the werewolves.

The wind is in their back, sending their scent straight into the camp. As soon as they see their enemy coming at them among the trees, they run back to the canyon. There, they wait, just high enough up the hill to avoid the explosions, but close enough for what comes after.

Quickly, the werewolves fill the canyon, their eyes wild and mouths almost foaming in animalistic hunger. When they are caught between the canyon walls, Castiel steps into the opening of the canyon and sends out a flash of grace, activating all the grenades.

The horde of werewolves stops, perplexed by the unusual sound. When they see the rocks rolling down towards them, they start running towards whichever end of the canyon that is closest to them, absolute chaos. The ones that run towards the Winchesters get hit by a silver bullet. The ones that run back towards the forests meet an angel blade. Most are buried under the rockslide.

When the Winchesters have dispatched the last werewolves on their side, they start the long run across the now rock-filled canyon. They can hear moans underneath their feet, and both brothers imagine a sudden hand breaking free of the rocks and pulling them down to their death.

But that doesn't happen. They both reach the end of the canyon where Castiel is waiting for them.

They all start running towards the Purifying Fire. Sam and his damn long legs, and possibly his years of morning runs, allows him to take the lead. But as they feared, some werewolves were not in the camp. Suddenly, Sam is hit by a force from his right, knocking him to the ground, rolling in dead leaves.

"Sam!" Dean shouts.

"Keep going!" Sam responds. He might be underneath the werewolf, but he has a good hold on the wolf and just needs an opening to lift his gun and place a silver bullet in it. "I got this!"

Dean fights every instinct to stop and help his brother. But this might be their only chance to get to the Amulet. "Cas! Help Sam!"

Castiel did not need Dean to tell him. He has already changed course and is about to grab the werewolf by its neck. When he does so, Sam pulls out his gun and before Castiel can even summon his grace, the werewolf is dead.

Castiel quick helps Sam get back on his feet, and without a word, they continue their run towards the camp.

The moment that the trees give way to the clearing where the werewolves had settled, giving a clear view of the area, Sam and Castiel see Dean jump into the white embers. When his feet touch the smouldering whites, they flare up and change colour, and Dean is engulfed in pitch black fire.

-.-.-.-.-

Dean expected heat, burning, pain. But the moment his feet touches down on the embers, everything goes quiet, and he is surrounded by fog. He's afraid to move, just standing still and looking around, but unable to see anything. "Sam? Cas?"

If they can hear him and is trying to answer, he can't hear it.

He looks around for any clue to what to do but everything is just quiet. "Damnit… Sam!? Cas!?"

Nothing.

"Come on. What's the point of this!? Let's get this show on the road! Test me!"

With nothing else to do or try, Dean carefully takes a small step forward. Still nothing. He takes another step. Nothing. He starts walking, and he thinks he's moving forward but the fog makes it impossible to get a sense of what is actually going on.

-.-.-.-.-

"I don't think he can hear us," Sam concludes. He and Castiel has been standing around the Fire, listening to Dean's confused and frustrated yells. Sam even tried to enter the flames as well, but it was too hot to get close. But at least it seems as if Dean does not feel the heat.

"At least it doesn't sound as if he is hurt," Castiel voices Sam's thoughts.

Dean once again yells out, sounding increasingly frustrated.

"But I don't think he can get out either. Sounds like he's walking around, looking for whatever the test is. Why is nothing happening?" Sam walks around the Fire as if looking for a magical door to get inside.

"What's with this damn fog?" Dean yells inside the Fire.

"Fog?" Castiel squints.

Sam quickly comes around to face him. "Do you know what he means by fog?"

Castiel thinks back. Purgatory was created a long time ago, so the stories Chuck told them about the legend of the Purifying Fire are just as old. "The monsters had to be purified of their sins in the Fire in order to become human. The sins of unnatural hunger, murder, and bloodlust. What would the equivalent be for humans?"

Sam perks up with recognition. "Wait... the test in Hell was inspired by Dante. Or, his writings were based on his psychic abilities tapping into Hell." Sam squints his eyes closed, trying to remember. "He also described something about sins in Purgatory. Could that be it? Does that make sense with the fog?"

"Darkness of Hell and of a night deprived, of every planet, under meagre skies, as overcast by clouds as sky can be, had never served to veil my eyes so thickly, nor covered them with such rough-textured stuff, as smoke that wrapped us there in Purgatory," Castiel quotes with sadness before explaining: "On the terrace of wrath, the souls must walk in fog, because anger fogs the mind."

Sam shakes his head as Castiel talks. "No, Cas. I know that Dean has had anger issues, trust me, I know. But he's changed. You should have seen him after… After you died. I don't know exactly what happened between you guys, but whatever it was, he changed."

Castiel feels a surge of happiness by those words. Dean had never told him that his parting words had had that kind of impact on him. "I'm happy to hear that, Sam. But all evidence points towards that the Fire is challenging Dean's anger. And not just anger. Wrath is deeper, more vengeful, and hateful. So we need to think. Is there anyone or anything that Dean still carries anger towards? Something that could push him over the edge?"

-.-.-.-.-

"Hello!? Cas? Sam? Anyone? Come on!" Dean is tired of walking around in this stupid fog. He keeps fearing that he will suddenly stand on the edge of a cliff and almost fall to his death. He can't even see his own feet!

"Oh, shut up, will you?"

Dean turns around and is faced with – Himself? For some reason, this doubleganger is clear in the otherwise thick fog. "Who the hell are you?"

"Really? Haven't looked in a mirror lately?" The doubleganger sasses.

"Yeah, you're a handsome devil, but what the hell are you?"

"I'm you, you dickhead. We all are."

In front of Dean's eyes, his doubleganger duplicates, and slowly he is surrounded by doublegangers.

They all look like him, but different versions. One has black eyes. One stands in a pristine suit. One is covered in blood, holding a knife he hasn't seen since standing next to a torture rack. One is younger, standing in his dad's old leather jacket. The one that had spoken to him rolls up his flannel sleeve, showing the Mark of Cain, red and swollen.

Dean takes a step back, trying to get all of them within view. "What the-?"

"Oh, look at that." The Marked Dean looks around at the other doublegangers in appreciation. "We've been both a demon and an angel. How crazy is that?"

"Well, we always had a taste for blood, didn't we?" The Bloody Dean chirps in.

"Alright, listen, whatever-you-are, I don't care, okay?" Dean turns to leave, though he has no idea where he could go in his grand nothingness.

The doublegangers ignore him and continue. Young Dean pipes in: "As if things weren't bad enough, you let them turn us into these things."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean growls.

"Mom died, and then it was all work and no play. But then Sam left. And then dad left. We could've just run off and done whatever we wanted. But no… You had to go get Sam, and then you couldn't protect him. So you turned yourself into a monster," Young Dean drawls. "One, two, three, four times." He lazily counts the doublegangers.

"I did what I had to do," Dean grinds out.

"Did you?" Bloody Dean asks. "Did you really have to jump off the rack and torture people?"

"Of course, he did," Demon Dean smirks. "We've always liked to get our hands dirty."

"Indeed," Marked Dean agrees. "We really enjoyed killing with no strings attached."

"Shut up!"

"Especially the rush of power to kill," Michael Dean adds. "Sure, you put up a fight in the beginning. But it didn't take much to get you to surrender. Maybe, you were just waiting for someone else to take the wheel?"

"No! I hated being Michael's bitch! And I don't enjoy killing people!" Dean snaps.

-.-.-.-.-

Castiel has to take out another werewolf that returns to the camp. They are exposed here in the clearing, not just to werewolves but to all the creatures in Purgatory. It won't be long before the other monsters realise that the werewolves are gone and there're three delicious meals walking around.

"Himself. He's angry with himself," Sam concludes based on Dean's broken voice when he yells, laced with the kind of self-hatred that Sam has heard too many times. He swallows hard, feeling sympathy grip him tight. Damnit, Dean. Why can't you let go of this? Unfortunately, it just isn't like Dean to go easy on himself.

"I thought you said that he moved past that?" Castiel asks.

"I guess that changing the way you feel about yourself takes more time than Dean has had. And no one is harder on Dean than Dean." Sam runs his hands through his hair. As he studies the Fire, it somehow seems to get even darker. It can't be a good sign. "Damnit, we need to get in there." Sam moves closer to the Fire again, but it flares up and the heat instantly increases to an unbearable level, pushing him even further back than he was before.

"No! I hated being Michael's bitch! And I don't enjoy killing people!" Dean's cry almost echoes in the forest.

"Cas, how do we get in there? How do we stop this?"

Castiel turns from scanning the surrounding trees to look at the Fire. He hates to think it, but it seems like Dean is losing this battle. Dean's voice is full of frustration and anger, and it is heartbreaking to listen to.

Castiel looks at Sam. Though other people would say that his face is twisted in pain for is brother, all Castiel sees is love. That unwavering love that the brothers always have for each other. Castiel feels just as strong a love for both of them.

Maybe Dean needs more time before he understands just how loved he is, and how little his anger means in the grand picture. He doesn't have that time now, but maybe a small reminder can help.

Castiel walks up to the Fire, and it flares in the same manner as when Sam stepped closer.

"Careful, Cas! We don't know what the Fire will do to you," Sam warns.

Castiel takes a deep breath. "I know… But I have to try. Keep a look out for enemies."

Castiel ignores the heat, but even he can feel how powerful it is. He doesn't dare to step completely into the Fire, because he doesn't know what will happen if he accidently pushes Dean out of the pit. Instead, he stretches out his arm, and watches as his shirt and coat sleeves burn away as he reaches his hand through the Fire.

-.-.-.-.-

"Oh, come now. Are you really going to tell yourself that you didn't enjoy it, just a little bit?" Michael Dean purrs. "You can't lie to us. We've all been inside your head."

"The lack of responsibilities," Young Dean sighs. "It's what we always wanted, wasn't it? So would it really be so bad to let someone else take over?"

"We could go play pool again, all day long. Drink, party. Kill whoever tries to spoil our fun," Demon Dean reminisces.

"No…" Dean shakes his head, trying to get their words out of his head, but they seem to snake around his brain.

The problem is… They are right. He's always had this craving for freedom. He's been trying to find it in driving, in casual sex, in the bottom of a bottle. But he's never quite found it, always held down by his responsibilities and sense of duty, beaten into him from the age of four.

The closest he's ever gotten, is when people have left him, or when these… monsters have taken over. Or when he was transported to Purgatory. These are the few times where he could finally just let go of everything and use that as an excuse.

And he hates it. He absolutely hates himself for feeling this way. And having it thrown in his face like this is making his blood boil.

But he doesn't want whatever these things are to know that. He doesn't want anyone to know. He just wants this stupid conversation to be over with! So he grits out: "You're wrong."

The doublegangers all smile knowingly. "No. We're. Not."

Dean is just about to launch at one of these reflections. Maybe that will make his doublegangers shut up.

But then a hand comes up from behind and touches his shoulder. He immediately freezes. For a split second, he thinks he is being attacked, but then, as crazy as it may sound, he recognises the hand touching him. He would recognise that touch on his shoulder anywhere. "Cas?"

Cas's thumb gently rubs Dean's shoulder and Dean releases a shaky breath. As if coming from miles away, or whispered right in his ear, Dean can hear Cas's voice. "Dean… I hope you can hear me. I don't know what you're seeing or hearing right now. It doesn't really matter. I just need you to know that Sam and I are here for you, and we love you no matter what. Nothing this test is telling or showing you will ever change that. And we hope that in time, you will truly come to understand that. Sam told me that you have already made great progress in accepting yourself, your actions, and your motivations, and I am so proud of you for allowing yourself this peace of mind. But all change takes time, and with the life that you have lived and endured, I'm sure you have many thoughts and feelings to come to terms with. Please, just allow yourself the time you need to heal. Please, Dean. I love you."

Cas's words are like a cooling balm on a burn wound. Dean closes his eyes and just lets Cas's voice wash away all the anger that had been building in him. Yes, he's better, but he's not perfect. He still hates himself at times, and he's angry with himself. He's angry for having felt relieved at being possessed. He's angry at himself for not saving everyone who deserved it. He's angry for how he has behaved towards his family. He's angry for not realising his feelings for Cas earlier. He's angry for letting Cas die.

But none of that matters now. He's got Cas. He's got Sam. And he has been happy. In Heaven, he got to do all the carefree things that he always dreamt about, without the weight of the world hanging over his head. Even before he and Cas got their heads out of their asses.

He can have it all, undefined by anyone or anything.

He just needs to let that peace push away the anger.

Dean barely hears the doublegangers' angry growls as the fog suddenly lifts and light returns.

-.-.-.-.-

The black flames give one final crackle before they turn white. With a whoosh they disappear and are replaced by embers, just like when Dean stepped on them to begin with.

Castiel still has a soft grip on Dean's arm. Dean turns around and lets Castiel guide him out of the small pit. Dean collapses in his arms, feeling a mixture of tired and grateful. "Hey, Cas."

Castiel smiles. "Hello, Dean."

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam carefully asks from next to them.

Dean lets go of Cas to quickly hug his brother instead. "Yeah, I'm good."

"And… the Amulet?" Sam asks, his face clearly showing that he knows it's not the appropriate question to ask when his brother just stepped out of black fire, but he needs to know.

Dean's heart drops for a second. He never saw the Amulet in the flames. He didn't get it. After all of that, he didn't get it!?

But then he notices his left hand, fisted around something. He brings it up for them all to see as he opens his palm, and there it is. The insignificant looking piece of wood that might be the key to peace in Heaven. Everyone draws a sigh of relief.

Dean closes his fist again and puts it in his inner pocket. "Alright. Let's get the hell out of here."

-.-.-.-.-

They only encounter two leviathans on their way back to the backdoor to Hell. Once they have said goodbye to Rowena, Sam performs the spell to get back home. Castiel looks somewhat disappointed that they won't fly with him, but for some reason, flying and teleporting just have two very different effects on Dean's stomach.

Once they are back, night has fallen again. They settle around the kitchen table in Sam's home, trying to be quiet so they don't wake up Eileen or Baby Dean. Miracle joins them, curling up by Dean's feet.

"Okay, this is it," Dean states as he puts down the last Amulet on the table.

Castiel follows, putting down the Amulet he obtained in Heaven.

Lastly, Sam digs out the two Amulets that are already connected.

When they put the pieces close together, they connect in a flash of light, and even the two humans can feel the power that the Amulets emit.

Dean cocks his head. "Guys, is it just me, or does it look like a piece is missing?"