A/N: I have finished my book! It's almost exactly 40k words. Now the next step is to ignore it for months so that I can edit it with fresh eyes. Wooooo!

Rar.

.

General

Everyone was surprised to find Konan, bright and bold and alert, issuing orders with no doubt or fear in her voice. Her orders were these: There was to be a meeting in the backyard. A new version of the house rules would be drafted, with input from vampires. Nagato had to be fetched, regardless of any protests he might make. And everybody was going to sit still, behave and listen. No infighting. Itachi was second in command. After making this clear to everyone she could reach, Konan decided she ought to be the one to fetch Nagato, so she ran off to do that and left everyone else standing around in the lobby trying to figure out what was going on.

"But Kakuzu and I were going to put together a care package for him tomorrow!" Yahiko protested.

"An excellent idea," Itachi replied. "I spoke to Nagato earlier through Sakumo's phone. With the demon boy's assistance, I determined that Nagato has control issues. Allowing you to inflict kindness upon him might be just the exercise he needs."

"Hold up, the demon kid visited Sakumo?" Deidara asked. "Are they…?"

"I believe so, from what the boy said."

"How is Konan okay right now?" Kisame asked. "It has to be a front. After yesterday, there's no way she can be okay."

"Actually, she told me earlier that she went to -"

"Let's hope it doesn't blow up in our faces," Kakuzu agreed. "And from what she told me, it seems that Madara's appearance made the vampires more friendly towards us somehow? That doesn't make any sense. She cannot have told me everything. What is that girl hiding?"

"What do I tell Laurie?" Sasori asked. "I invited her over tonight."

"Change it to tomorrow morning and tell her we're making new group rules. She'll understand," Hidan said.

"I am uncomfortable breaking my promises," Sasori muttered while doing just that.

"Maybe the vampires like Madara's upfront style, hm," Deidara said with a shrug. "It is weird that Konan's acting all okay, though."

"She just went to the aquarium and -"

"Oh, hey, speaking of that guy, I met Obito and Zetsu at the aquarium today. We had a nice chat about how much it fucking sucks to have alternate personalities barging in and taking over your body at random times," Hidan continued.

"The other guy looks after you though, and isn't an asshole," Kisame replied. "I may have had my disagreements with him in the past. But after meeting Madara, I see the error of my ways."

"Hey, it's not cool to hate exactly one of the personalities in there and love all the others," Deidara argued. "They're all bound together, yeah."

"According to my research, Deidara is correct," Itachi added.

"The stingray pool has healing powers."

"Well, I'm just glad that the vampires aren't trying to murder anybody," Kisame said. "That would be worse."

"Why the hell are we allowing them to have any say on our house rules?" Kakuzu growled.

Sasori snuck around the back of the group and poked Yahiko's arm. "What was that about healing powers?"

"I think it's a great idea, yeah," Deidara argued. "They're kinda sorta our friends. They get to know stuff."

"Since fucking when are the vampires our friends?" Kakuzu shot back.

"Where the hell were you when we were making all those plans to go over and keep their leader out of danger because we like her, yeah? Meetings? Hello? Nagato and Yahiko spent a whole night going around chatting with them, yeah."

"Spiritual healing powers," Yahiko told Sasori. "Not the Jashinist kind that makes you feel all alive and tingly. The kind that I have. Konan described it as washing your soul clean."

Hidan huffed. "Not to mention that awesome guy with the kitty that I talked to! He was cool!"

"In conclusion, the vampires are our friends, yeah," Deidara announced.

The plushies ran into the room unexpectedly, firing wind bursts and lightning bolts everywhere. After much chaos, it turned out that Samehada had heard the frantic discussion and come to see what was going on, bringing the dolls with her. All discussion stopped as everyone focused on calming the dolls before they burned the building down. "Perhaps we should get the fire ready," Itachi said when it was done.

They went from frantic discussion to sitting around a backyard fire in complete silence. Hidan brought out marshmallows, crackers and chocolate. They made smores. Not a word was spoken until Konan arrived with Nagato in tow. He joined the circle directly next to her, making it clear through his body language that he did not want to be there.

"Itachi, do you have fresh paper and writing supplies, as well as our current house rules?" Itachi nodded. "Excellent. I would like to begin this meeting with a declaration." Konan flicked her eyes from side to side, catching everybody's gaze. "The vampires have renegotiated their territorial boundaries to exclude any group that is incapable of self-regulation. At the moment, that means that nobody from this group is permitted to visit them."

"Yeah, we kinda noticed," Kisame replied dryly.

"We must strengthen our self-regulation capabilities by developing clearer and more thorough rules."

"Why are the vampires involved?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because leaving it within our jurisdiction to decide if we are regulated or not is an act of trust, and that must not be taken lightly."

Yahiko smiled. "So it's a step forward in our relationship with them!"

"Precisely. Nothing else is to be decided in this meeting, or even spoken of."

In other words, no talking about Nagato. Or even to Nagato, from the look of him. He was as close to invisibility as he could get without using a jutsu. No vampire had arrived yet, so they returned to silence. Hidan had a few marshmallows left, which he passed out to the few people who wanted them. There was no chocolate left, so the gooey, golden-brown lumps of sugar were eaten straight. Konan and Nagato had not had any, but Konan had no interest in such "foods" and Nagato, again, was trying his very hardest not to be there, so Hidan didn't even offer.

A familiar-looking female vampire leaped down from the trees, followed by a male vampire with a kitten perched on his shoulder. Konan stood to meet them and nodded politely. "Soye. And…"

"Kivi," Soye replied. "The kitten is called Mraa."

"Soye. Kivi. Mraa. Welcome."

"If I may," Itachi murmured. He held up his writing supplies, then separated himself from the rest of the circle. He sat down between Konan and the vampires, allowing both sides equal access to him as he wrote down the revised rules. Soye smiled. She, Kivi and Konan all sat down. The meeting was begun.

"Read out the current rules," Konan ordered.

Itachi cleared his throat. "One: No computers allowed in the building except laptops and smartphones. Two: No poking at personal neuroses in public. Three: No labeling. We're all weird here. Nicknames are acceptable. Four: Expect nightly meetings. They might not happen sometimes, but happening is the default. Five: Be nice to the neighbors. Six: All visitors are welcome. So are guests. Seven: Always enter the basement respectfully."

"Thank you," Konan said to Itachi. "I have some thoughts on the direction our revision should proceed in. Firstly, there needs to be a greater number of rules in order to account for our more complex lives. Secondly, that means that Samehada should be consulted, as she is the most involved with caring for our new dependents. Yahiko, check on her and her charges. If they are calm enough to attend this meeting peacefully, invite them out now. If not, we can save all doll-related business for the end."

Yahiko got up to do that. After waiting for the door to close behind him, Konan went on. "Thirdly, the rules in their current form should be put aside and their replacements devised anew. They can be referenced as need be, but they are not to be used as a baseline. We require an entirely new baseline. Fourthly, the language used for the new rules should be more formal. We are at least pretending to be a legitimate organization. Is any of this unclear?"

Deidara raised a hand. After receiving a nod from Konan, he said, "Um… Our overall style, yeah, it… It seems like these new rules might clash with it, yeah. We're not a rulesy sort of people, yeah."

"He brings up a good point," Itachi said. "Our operations are designed to maximize flexibility, allowing us to rapidly and easily change our behavior in response to unexpected events. A stricter set of rules may compromise our flexibility without offering us the protection of a true hierarchy, thus leaving us as a group that specializes in nothing."

Konan tilted her head. "That is a valid argument. Does anyone have useful thoughts on the matter?"

"I do," Hidan said while raising his hand. "We've gotta be careful while designing these new rules to make sure they act like a spine and not like a shell. You need something solid to work off of in order to be flexible. Like, a cheetah can change direction a whole lot faster than a blob monster could. If we do this right, making our rules more formal and strict should increase our flexibility, not hurt it."

Konan smiled. "I support that idea. Soye?"

"I will reserve opinions until after I have seen these principles put into practice," Soye replied.

Yahiko came out just then and reported that the dolls still seemed stressed. Hidan filled him in on what he had missed. When that was done, Itachi picked up a pen and placed a fresh sheet of paper over the old house rules. He adjusted the papers so they were neatly aligned with the book beneath them, then pronounced himself ready. "Shall we follow our usual procedure of messy deliberation that eventually resolves into a neat conclusion?"

"For precisely five minutes at a time," Konan said, turning on her phone. She pressed a button. "The timer is running. Deliberate."

Nobody had any clue how to react to such a sudden and strict push. "Uh…" Sasori said. "Who has an idea for our first rule?"

"The first rule should be the most important rule, right?" Kisame asked. Kakuzu nodded.

"Considering that we just met and want to make friends with people who are half plant, wear masks, and have multiple personalities, I think we should move the 'no labeling' rule to first place," Yahiko said. "If they ever come back, and maybe want to join, then they should feel comfortable."

"Good idea," Sasori said. "That rule was perfect as it was. The basic idea was sound. All we need is better phrasing."

"Coming up with phrasing sounds like Itachi's job," Kisame said.

"No," Itachi replied. "Ideas can be well intentioned, but fall apart in practice when it turns out that you don't truly understand the needs of the target audience. If the goal of this rule is to make people who are habitually judged feel safe, then whoever among us is the most judged should decide how to phrase it."

The entire group looked around. Who was that? "Hidan literally had people run him out of town once," Deidara said slowly. "I think that means he's it."

"Okay," Hidan said with a shrug. "What's the current phrasing?"

"No labeling. We're all weird here. Nicknames are acceptable."

"Hmm…" Hidan rubbed his chin as he thought. "How about… Rule number one: This is a group of people with feelings who deserve to be treated seriously." He paused. "Definitely gotta revise that, but I think the rule should emphasize that everyone is a person and not a weirdo, a curiosity, an asshole, or any other label."

"Now that I can work with," Itachi said. "Let me see… All members of this or any allied group are to be treated as people, with all the respect accorded to such. They can only be called by shorthand or nicknames with their express consent."

Yahiko pumped a fist in the air. Sasori smiled. Kisame said that was completely correct. All Akatsuki members were very happy with this new phrasing, so Konan and Itachi turned to Soye. "It is true that your people are not technically allied, but I do not know what other word to use," Itachi explained. "Would you prefer some other title?"

Soye sat silently for several seconds, during which her eyes frequently flicked over to Konan. "The current language is acceptable," she finally decided. Kivi glanced at her in surprise, as did several Akatsuki members. Was she saying that they were allied now?

"Excellent." Itachi repeated his phrasing to himself, then wrote it down. He decided to use a simple header, House Rules centered at the top of the page, with a numbered list going downwards.

Konan reset her timer. "We shall repeat this process again for a second rule. Deliberate."

"Itachi, give me the old rules," Kisame said. "I want to rank them in order of importance." Itachi did so. Kisame studied the rules. "Huh. I'm caught between two options. We have a rule about how our group therapy activites are supposed to be run, and we have another rule about how outsiders are to be treated. Which is more important?"

"If I may," Itachi interjected. "I have been keeping track of our overall situation from a meta perspective. Before Obito and Zetsu appeared, we were winding down the group therapy side of our operations, but their appearance has caused a massive resurgence. I believe that how we treat our own members is currently the highest priority."

"What's the current rule again?" Sasori asked.

"No poking at personal neuroses in public."

Sasori shook his head. "That phrasing is woefully inadequate. If we mean to do something, we should do it seriously. In this case, there are professional standards. Who has the best knowledge of professional psychological standards for administering therapy?"

"I have studied psychology a great deal, and I have a very rules-based mindset," Itachi offered. "I don't know the exact standards, but I can likely come up with something equivalent." Everybody encouraged him to go ahead, so he put on his thinking face, which was just his regular face tilted upward to look at the sky. It took him quite a while to think of something; Konan had to turn off her timer so it wouldn't ring. "All discussion of a person's social, mental or emotional troubles is to occur only with their express consent," he finally said.

Hidan scratched his head. "So if I'm worrying about something that's going on with Sunshine, and I realize that Sasori can help, I have to ask Yahiko if he's okay with me telling Sasori about it?"

"That sounds insulting, kinda, like it's implying we have absolutely no sense of appropriateness without that rule," Deidara said. "And what about special cases? Cases where people need to arrange stuff behind someone's back, yeah."

Soye narrowed her eyes. "Those who complain about the necessity of a rule call into question their own ability to follow it. If its existence will result in no change to your behavior, why should you care? And what 'special cases' might these be?"

"As far as I know, there are exactly two special cases," Konan said. "The first is Hidan. His particular arrangement with his other side is such that he cannot discuss his other side, learn anything about it, or even think about it too hard. It is impossible for him to have the knowledge required to tell us how we should interact with his other side, so we must decide that amongst ourselves without involving him. Deciding how to treat another person without asking them is normally immoral, but in his case it is the only way."

"Understandable," Soye said.

"The second special case is a situation where a group member is deliberately cutting themselves off from communication. Until they return, the rest of us are forced to decide how to deal with whatever problem caused them to leave by ourselves."

"If this is a recurrent pattern, perhaps there ought to be a separate rule for it," Soye said.

"Perhaps," Konan replied thoughtfully. "And there may need to be a separate rule as well for how to interact with multiple-personality systems."

"Shall I add an addendum?" Itachi asked. "I could say, 'This rule applies to each individual person within a system.' And we could institute a new practice that anyone going on an extended departure must first leave behind clear instructions for how their situation is to be discussed in their absence."

Konan tilted her head. "No. Leave the second rule as it is. Add those things as separate rules."

Itachi wrote down the consent rule as he had originally phrased it. "So then, our third rule would be that anyone who takes an extended leave must leave behind clear instructions first? And if some unexpected situation forces them to do it without warning, they should find a way to get instructions to the rest of us as soon as possible and until they do so all discussion is prohibited?"

"Nagato, Kisame," Konan called. "As members who have experience taking extended leave, do you find this rule to be reasonable?"

"Let me remember my thought process back then," Kisame said, hoping to draw attention away from Nagato. "Uh… I was feeling pretty pissed off. The last thing I would have wanted to do was talk more with you people. How about we pare this rule down to the last quarter, where all discussion is prohibited, and say exceptions can be made if whoever it is chooses to leave behind written consent?"

Itachi's eyes widened. "Of course! Yes, it did not occur to me how pressuring the original version would sound. Generally, our members only take extended leave because of great distress. It would be cruel to add extra responsibilities to their burden. All discussion being prohibited should be the default."

"Uh…" Yahiko said, looking uncomfortable. "What if you want to put together a pleasant welcome-back surprise? Doesn't that involve talking about the problem?"

"Not necessarily," Itachi replied. "It only involves discussion of the fact that they are in distress, not why."

Yahiko blushed bright red. "You know, it might actually be a really good idea to have rules clarifying these things," he said. "I'm on board now. No complaints."

Nobody except Kakuzu and Konan understood why he reacted as if the proposed rule was a personal humiliation, so they decided to give him space. Itachi wrote down the third rule. "If any member…takes an extended…leave…all discussion of their personal problems…is automatically prohibited…unless they leave behind express consent. Alright. The fourth rule is meant to govern interactions with multiple-personality systems, correct?"

"Yes," Konan said. "Itachi, you have been performing research on multiple-personality systems. What have you found?"

"I have found a great deal of variety," Itachi answered. "There are all kinds of arrangements that systems might have, all kinds of structures, and no two can be assumed to have anything in common much less be identical. The fourth rule should also be consent-based." He stopped and blinked. "An idea just came to me. Why don't we say, 'All multiple-personality systems are to be treated as allied groups'?"

"Considering that the next batch of new rules we need to make involves how we treat our friends and neighbors, that would be a neat segue," Kisame said.

Konan narrowed her eyes. "Is it wise to place a rule before the information it references?"

Opinions on that were divided. Some people were a little uncomfortable with the idea because linguistically, it was a clunky construction method. Others liked the idea because the very fact that a reader would not yet know how allied groups were to be treated might make them more motivated to pay attention to the rest of the list. And it was a neat segue. Konan eventually was persuaded to list the rules in this order simply because the only alternative was very problematic. It was bad enough to say that system members ought to be treated as if they were an allied group; the rule declaring that should not also be listed among the rules for how to treated allied groups. That could be seen as very othering, as if the people in such a system were not seen as full group members. Once again, the rest of the Akatsuki wondered how she was really doing. Konan seemed to be completely, 100% onboard with accepting people whose originals had destroyed her life into her group of trusted friends. She couldn't possibly be as enthusiastic about that as she sounded. But this meeting had exactly one purpose, so nobody said anything.

"Hold on, what about the dolls?" Deidara asked. "Should they be listed with group members, yeah?"

"That would ruin the segue," Kisame shot back.

"It seems that the ordering of these rules is important enough to warrant its own consideration," Konan said. "For now, let's focusing on creating them."

"Should I check on them though?" Yahiko asked.

"After you give your opinion on the next rule," Kisame said. "We currently have one rule about being nice to neighbors and one rule about welcoming guests. I propose we blend them."

"Anybody who has not attacked a member of this or any allied group should be treated as a neighbor and welcomed as a guest," Yahiko suggested. "Checking on the dolls now."

"I like that," Itachi said after the door closed. "Neutral parties are swayed by how you treat them. If we treat neutral parties as friends, more likely than not, they will become so."

"How are we defining 'attack,' though?" Kakuzu asked with narrowed eyes. "By almost any standards, Madara's outburst would qualify as an attack. Is he still welcome?"

"Keep in mind that this is a group of people with unstable mental conditions, specifically designed to probe at and activate those instabilities," Itachi said. "If verbal and emotional outbursts are considered to be attacks, then most members of this group have already attacked most other members. Yahiko's phrasing uses the word 'attack' in a functional way, as a tool to distinguish those we should treat with kindness from those we ought to defend ourselves from. Verbal and emotional outbursts, then, cannot be considered to be attacks, because they don't perform that function. For the purposes of these rules, only physical attacks qualify. If Madara attempts to kill or injure anyone, we will have to use defensive measures. Until then, dealing with his hostility is just a normal part of group therapy."

"What about mental attacks?" Hidan asked. "If the system he's part of is to be treated like an allied group, and he somehow attacks Obito or Tobi, then what the fuck do we do?"

Everybody had to pause to think about that. "How about a separate rule that we will come to the defense of any allied group that is attacked?" Itachi asked. "And in this particular case, 'defense' would have a very particular definition."

"'Anybody who has not physically or mentally attacked' sounds like a mouthful, and a confusing one," Kisame said while shaking his head. "Why don't we just change the word to 'endangered'?"

"Anybody who has not deliberately endangered a member of this or any allied group should be treated as a neighbor and welcomed as a guest," Itachi said. "I like that. Soye, do you have an opinion?"

"It is acceptable," she replied. "As for your proposed other rule, there is no need for it. All known groups are composed of adults that can deal with their own problems. Aid should only be given upon request or as a gift."

She received a lot of stares. Deidara smiled. "Adults that can deal with their own problems? I like the sound of that, yeah."

"Me too," said Yahiko, coming down from the porch with the plushies on leashes and Samehada at his side. "Sorry for lurking. I just didn't want to interrupt anyone's thinking." The plushies attempted to make a beeline for the vampires and the kitten, but were restrained by the leashes. Samehada stopped a polite distance away from the vampires and chirped, then went to Kisame's side. Yahiko sat down in his seat, still with a firm grip on the leashes, and the plushies eventually accepted that all they could do was stand still and look at the kitten.

"Now then," Itachi said. "I proposed that multiple-personality systems be treated as allied groups because I had in mind another rule. 'All allied groups are to be treated according to their own standards and preferences. When on their territory, their house rules must be followed.' How does that sound? Should I add something stating that with regards to multiple-personality systems, 'their territory' includes any interaction in which any of their personalities are the dominant force?"

"The added part sounds too wordy," Kisame said. "We can make that clear in person, can't we? Do we need to add something like that to our house rules?"

"It's vague anyway, since there is no clear dividing line you can point to. Let's leave it out," Sasori agreed.

"I concur," Soye said. "The basic rule is entirely complete in its current state."

Itachi wrote it down. "What else?"

"Do we want to have any version of the rules about computers and Jashin?" Kisame asked. "They're so small and specific that they don't seem to fit in the new rules."

"The computers, yes, but the gods, no," Sasori said. "The local gods are very important in our lives. We should have a rule about respecting them."

"All deities are to be treated with respect?" Yahiko asked.

"And all relationships that anyone has to any such being are not to be questioned, vilified, ridiculed or otherwise disrespected," Konan added.

"A powerful rule," Soye said evenly. "So powerful as to be dangerous. Could not this rule put a stop to your own efforts to change our minds about that one?"

Yahiko recoiled. "We haven't been ridiculing or disrespecting you guys, have we? Oh no. I -I - I never meant to do anything like that!"

Konan hissed softly. "That is a rather murky matter."

"We have discussed its murkiness before," Itachi said to Soye. "That's why we agreed to pull back, stop making special visits to your territory, and instead encourage your people to come to us with any questions you may have. Since we believe we have the truth on our side, why bother with active proselytizing when freely available education will do just as well? If we have ever disrespected your people's relationship with Jashin sama, that is no longer reflected in our current approach, and any form of apology or amends you desire shall of course be made."

"Seconded," Konan agreed.

Soye took some time to consider this. "Very well." Itachi wrote down the new rule.

"What about the dolls?" Yahiko asked as Warlic climbed onto his knee for a better look.

"I think the people who want to look after them should be the ones looking after them," Kisame said. "I mean, that's just common sense."

"Why, then, did you wish to have control over them?" Soye asked.

"Uh…"

There was a moment of silence. It was heavy, and it was awkward. "Aw shit," Deidara muttered.

"We never actually reinserted the spikes," Kakuzu admitted, averting his eyes.

"But we don't need to, because they're reasonable now," Yahiko said while patting Warlic's head. Warlic flailed his arms before sitting down heavily. Yahiko hugged him.

"When the dolls were first brought to life, they were effectively natural forces analogous to storms," Konan said. "The most prudent and cautious member of our group naturally wished to be able to redirect their energy. However, they have since developed intelligence and self-organization. They are now effectively children, and we believe that they are to be treated as such. The spikes are no longer necessary, nor would they be effective. It is more effective to leave them in the care of those members that enjoy looking after children."

"Oh, who wouldn't?" Yahiko said with a giant, goofy grin. He kissed Warlic's soft little head. Manta flailed his arms, seeming jealous. Solis and Little One continued to stare at the kitten, who stared back with her claws unsheathed.

"Samehada," Konan called. "You and Yahiko are the best caretakers of the dolls. What sort of rule do you think we should make for them?"

Samehada lolled her tongue out and rumbled. She pointed her tail at the dolls, then mimed curling her body around them. Then she uncurled her body and mimed nudging the dolls over to Kisame before opening her jaws wide in a yawn. "Select group members will be chosen as primary caregivers for the dolls, but all group members should be available to look after them temporarily?" Kisame guessed. Samehada yawned for real and nodded.

"Hmm." Konan tilted her head. "Interactions with and treatment of all dependents are to be governed by primary caretakers?"

"We are effectively applying the rule for allied groups to the dolls as well," Itachi agreed. "They, too, are considered to have special rules that our normal house rules must give way to when in their presence."

"Dependents are to be treated as allied groups, with their rules established by their primary caretakers?" Konan suggested.

"Sounds weird," Hidan said. "How about…" But he couldn't actually think of anything better. "Fuck."

"All decisions relating to dependents are to be made by their caretakers," Itachi said.

"Yes." Kakuzu nodded. "That's exactly it. All decisions whatsoever. I don't want to have the slightest thing to do with those bastards."

"More for me!" Yahiko said through another huge grin. He cuddled both Manta and Warlic in his lap, one arm around each of them. "Who are the cutest little guys? You are!"

He had let go of the leashes. Solis realized this and grabbed Little One's hand. They ran up to Kivi and his kitten. Mraa hissed, causing them to stop and look at her curiously. She pounced on Little One and dug her claws into his head, screeching furiously. Little One flailed backward and fell down, then rolled over, fighting to get her off. Kivi reached forward to pry her off. Before he could, Solis levitated Mraa into the air. She twisted in all directions, hissing from anger and from sheer terror, unable to orient herself. Little One ran away. Kivi grabbed his kitten at about the same time as Yahiko said, "Solis, let her go." Mraa curled up in his lap, shaking. Solis waved his arms angrily.

"Is someone going to rescue that poor doll before he gets lost in the woods?" Sasori said.

"Sorry guys," Yahiko said to Warlic and Manta. He slid them onto the ground and handed their leashes to Hidan, then went after Little One, who was out of sight in the dark forest.

Solis was more than happy to go to Hidan and sit down heavily in the grass. His head drooped and his shoulders slumped. He seemed very upset and angry. Hidan touched the doll and closed his eyes, concentrating. "Still vague," he reported. "But I can't tell if he really has only vague feelings or if that's just how I feel because there are so many other people around." Whichever was the case, Warlic and Manta knew what to do about it. They gave Solis hugs, then sat down next to him. He raised his head and waved his arms. "D'aw."

"I shall read out the new rules," Itachi declared. "One: All members of this or any allied group are to be treated as people, with all the respect accorded to such. They can only be called by shorthand or nicknames with their express consent. Two: All discussion of a person's social, mental or emotional troubles is to occur only with their express consent. Three: If any member takes an extended leave, all discussion of their personal problems is automatically prohibited unless they leave behind express consent. Four: All multiple-personality systems are to be treated as allied groups. Five: Anybody who has not deliberately endangered a member of this or any allied group should be treated as a neighbor and welcomed as a guest. Six: All allied groups are to be treated according to their own standards and preferences. When on their territory, their house rules must be followed. Seven: All deities are to be treated with respect, and all relationships that anyone has to any such being are not to be questioned, vilified, ridiculed or otherwise disrespected. Eight: All decisions relating to dependents are to be made by their caretakers." He looked at the paper curiously. "How strange. We only have one rule more than the previous set. And now that I read them all at once, I see that five and six should be switched, but otherwise we appear to have a very neat progression. It starts with rules that govern this group, then rules relating to outside groups, and lastly, rules relating to miscellaneous beings that don't fall into either category. I like that. It is neat and organized."

"Isn't something missing?" Kisame asked.

"Yeah," Deidara said, "I get that feeling too."

Kisame read the previous set of house rules again. "The original rules had a totally different feel to them. A sort of… A "we're all friends here, here's how we live" feel. What Itachi just read is a formal code, but it doesn't have shit to do with how we live. It's too formal."

"How about two house rules?" Hidan said. "The one we just put together can be our code of operations, and we can make another one that's like what you just said. 'No computers allowed except laptops and smartphones. Do not disturb the doll collection in the game room. No spam in the group chat.' Shit like that."

"That sounds like a lot of rules," Deidara said, frowning. "I dunno. It might make us sound like a rulebound, super strict sort of group. But we're not."

"There is no way to know how our actions might be perceived by outsiders," Itachi said. "Let's make up a second informal ruleset, post them both on the refrigerator, and show them to an outsider to gain accurate information. Sasori has a guest visiting tomorrow morning; that will be an ideal opportunity."

With that, the meeting adjourned. Nagato didn't wave or speak or do anything at all, not even to Konan. She watched him disappear into the forest with a frown. Was he even aware of the outside world? She worried for him, but at the same time was relieved not to know what kind of storm he had inside his head. Soye gave her a nod before leaving. Aside from the incident with Mraa, the diplomatic side of the meeting had gone very well. Speaking of that incident, where was Yahiko? Konan searched for him. She found him stealthily watching Little One from afar. The doll sat alone in the darkness of the forest. If he'd been flesh and blood, he probably would have been crying. He looked around and sometimes reached out to push leaves aside. He seemed greatly awed and bewildered by the size of the strange world he found himself in and by his own utter smallness within it. Konan understood why Yahiko had not revealed himself. He was getting better at taking another's perspective. He must have realized that from Little One's perspective, having him barge in for a rescue would shatter this beautiful moment. The best thing he could do was simply let Little One be.

Yahiko touched her elbow and led her away so they could whisper without revealing themselves. "I pictured him wandering alone in these woods, and I felt so sad all of a sudden," he explained. "A sort of sadness that, that, uh… I don't know what sort of sadness it was. I just felt like I couldn't go to him. I couldn't bother him. My legs won't let me even if I try. I don't know what's going on."

Konan looked at him strangely. "He is experiencing a moment of awe right now. If you barged in, you would ruin the greatest moment of his life, the greatest kind of moment in any child's life, the kind of moment that is the very essence of childhood and the reason why people sigh and wish to be young again. You understand his perspective and you understand the consequences of your actions. You know what the best thing to do is. You have learned how to not interfere. Isn't that what you have been trying to learn?"

Yahiko seemed both stunned and like he understood her perfectly. He glanced in Little One's direction. "It's not a thought, though. It's not an understanding. I can't explain it. It's a feeling, like I can sense it, like I just know it without having to think."

Konan did not know why she got the urge she did. Given the topic of their conversation, however, she knew better than to block it just because she didn't understand it. She raised her hand and placed it flat against his heart. "Your body knows better than your mind."

Yahiko put his hand over hers. They both realized that they couldn't remember the last time they had touched. Konan remembered how similar he was to the stingray pool. In both cases, touching…feeling…taking off her cloak…shedding her armor… It was all…

All so very needed. Tears came to her eyes. He killed me. Those hands. Before she knew it, she was embracing Yahiko, and he was embracing her back. She remembered something that she had not remembered in a long, long time. Back before her life was ruined, back before her heart was shattered, she had been a girl in love with a boy. As that very boy held her now, she remembered why she had loved him. And for a brief moment, the old feeling came back.

Judging from the look on his face when the embrace ended, the same thing had happened to him, too. He looked at her in shock, affection, and a bit of fear, too. He blushed and looked away.

Konan smiled through her tears. "Didn't we used to be the closest of friends, once?"

.

A/N: This last scene was unexpected and unplanned. But it's perfect.

The dolls are also perfect. *sigh* I want one...

So then. See y'all next week.