It was almost time for the SAT. I didn't get to as much practice as I would have liked. I was busy as usual. I didn't want to take the test with accommodations, I wanted to prove I was just as good as anyone else who is taking it because I am. Extended time on the SAT didn't fit me at all, it fit some of my greaser friends perfectly, but you could hardly say it about me. I had been reading above grade level since the second grade. I guess then I could be proud of being a greaser. Greasers might not have much, but they have accommodations. What kind of a world is it where all I have to be proud of is having accommodations-I don't want to be like them. I'm marked lousy. Why should I be proud of it? Why should I even pretend to be proud of it? My parents made me take the accommodations but I don't like to. It was an important thing in my life, being a Soc. I do well in school. But then I would take everything I could get. They did it to help me-it did but there were definite times when it did more harm than good. "I'm a greaser-I don't do well in school-and need support-I don't do much outside of school, man do I have fun greaser, greaser, greaser" "I'm a Soc, I'm privileged and I do a lot of things and I'm good at school" I didn't enjoy being a hood. My friends would grow up to be like that. Some of them. But me, I was going somewhere, that's why I'm better than everyone else there. I'm going somewhere and I wasn't gonna have a lousey job all my life. The difference between them and me that's what it was. Maybe that's why I thought I was better than them. 'Yeah I have accommodations on the SAT' I said pretending to be proud of it. Shoot, I'll do so good in school my parents won't put accommodations for me again. I'll show them that I'm so good. Everyone here wasn't real educated. I was. I have a big vocabulary. I just had them. I never use them or wanted them. Just now-and I Haden't wanted them. I shouldn't be here I thought suddenly. I shouldn't be here I thought suddenly. Yeah I'm a greaser in this case but I'm not like the rest of my greaser friends. I could end up like them. I don't belong with them. I could end up like them. And that thought didn't help me. I had an expression I disliked. Contempt? Pity? Hate? All three? Why? Because I was with greasers even though I don't belong here and do better in school than they do. But I felt contempt and pity and hate for greasers. It wasn't only jealously of those who had it take it without accommodations, I had a right to be jealous. I was ashamed to be on their side, ashamed to be seen with them. Nobody realized it but me. It wasn't important to anyone expect me. That's stupid I thought swiftly. I'm smarter than that-what difference does the side make? Now I hate the greasers because one is smart and does well in school and the other works to do well. We shouldn't hate each other I don't hate the greasers or the Socs anymore. They shouldn't hate. I felt detached from the pain of being with the greasers. If I had just worked harder I wouldn't have gotten into this mess. If I was smart like the rest I wouldn't be here. That's what I get. I better wise up. Get tough and nothing can tough you. Look out for yourself and nothing can hurt you. I would have understood better if I hadn't been so emotional about it. I mean all this thing between the greasers and the Socs was useless, fighting about it's no good. All that I had ever wanted was to be a Soc. I remembered something I had read in 'The Outsiders' "Stay Gold Ponyboy, Stay Gold" it's powerful because Johnny died right after he said that. I liked that book. I had tried to say something to my parents on why I shouldn't have accommodations but I couldn't.