Disclaimer:
'You're Under Arrest(Taiho Shichauzo) ' is the property of Kōsuke Fujishima and Kodansha.
'Due South' is the property of Paul Haggis and Alliance communications.
'Fallout' is the property of Interplay Entertainment, Bethesda game studios, and Obsidian Entertainment.
'Warhammer 40K' is the property of Games Workshop.
'Emma, A Victorian Romance' is the property of Kaoru Mori and Enterbrain.'
Naruto' is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and Shueisha.
'Yotsuba&!' is the property of Kiyohika Azuma and ASCII Media works.
'Hellsing' is the property of Kouta Hirano and Shōnen Gahōsha.
'Bleach' is the property of Tite Kubo and Shueisha.
'The Girl Who Leapt Through Time(2006)' is the property of Madhouse.
'Big Windup' is the property of Asa Higuchi and Kodansha
So yeah, I don't own any of those just so you know.
The Doujinshi for this mission 'Mandaruma' is the property of Wangahai Roman-Shu, Igyouha Club and they can keep it.
Also they can go stick their manhoods in a blender!
The agents are mine of course.
TRIGGER WARNING:
The Doujinshi being missioned will contain very disturbing scenes of rape, amputee fetishism, and violence!
Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!
So don't say I didn't warn you!
Note:
The events described in the doujinshi will be written in bold Italic.
R-34 Task Force
Mission 2. MANDARUMA
Agents: Franklin MacKenzie (Due South)
Naomi Taylor(You're Under Arrest/ No Mercy)
Miranda Kitteridge(You're Under Arrest/ No mercy)
Hadrian Fabricus(Warhammer 40K)
Cassandra Augustine(Warhammer 40k)
Knight Lance Beckerson(Fallout)
Randy the Hairy Deathclaw(Fallout)
(Prologue, R-34 station 1)
"You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down."
Johnny Cash
"How do you three feel about visiting late 19th century London." The station AI asked as the mission button began to flash.
"19th century London?" Franklin asked.
"Isn't that back when men wore suits and ladies wore those long dresses that came down to their ankles and had those oversize hoop cages underneath?" Naomi added. "Not to mention those really restrictive corsets that made your waists crazy small and mess up your insides?"
"More or less I think." Miranda said. " 'Though I highly doubt we'll be wearing those crinolines under our skirts. Since it's late 19th century, cage crinolines would likely be out of fashion by then. And corsets aren't that tight."
"I take it you have some knowledge on old time fashions, Miranda." Franklin inquired.
"You could say that. I like some of those classical ladies fashions. Especially from the late 19th and early 20th centuries and the 1950s." Miranda smiled. "As long as they're sensible."
"Understood." Franklin turned back to the monitor. "Anyway let's see what we're dealing with first…" He pressed the flashing button.
The mission brief appeared on the screen.
Mission: MANDARUMA
Type: Japanese fan comic/ doujinshi
Year published: 2009(approx.)
Setting: Earth, various locations and eras
Continua: Emma, A Victorian Romance, Naruto, Yotsuba&!, Hellsing, Bleach, The Girl Who Leapt through Time(2006 anime), Big Windup
Caution: Graphic rape, underage canons involved, amputee fetishism,
Recommendation: Terminate Stus with extreme prejudice.
"Oooooh boy." Naomi said. "I knew we were going into hentai doujinshis but this? Oh my god! Canons chopped up and raped? And some of 'em are likely to be underage!? If there is one thing I hate, it's rapists! Especially if they're paedo and fetishists. Assholes like that need to be sent on an express train straight down to Hell. Preferably with a lot of bullet holes in 'em."
"You won't get any argument from me." Franklin nodded. "But look at how many we have to go through." He looked back at the screen. "We got about seven different continua to visit, Seven or more messed up canons to bring back to Medical and maybe the Psych-Ward(Which we'll likely have to visit ourselves) and who knows how many stus we have to charge and kill to put things right."
"Doubtful you'll be going through all of them." The AI replied. "You'll only have to do Emma, Bleach, and Big Windup. Agents Lance and Randy will be doing Naruto and Hellsing. And agents Hadrian and Cassandra will be doing the Emperor's work in Yotsuba&! And The Girl Who Leapt Through Time."
"We have other teams?" Miranda asked.
"Of course." The AI answered. "I suggest you get ready. We supplied you with period correct weaponry and some fake business cards for your mission to London. So get your disguises set up and ready to go."
The agents checked their weapon lockers. They each took out a Colt 1892 double-action revolver chambered for .38 long colt.
".38 long colt. I hope the stus aren't as tough to kill as drugged up Filipino rebels." Miranda said.
"Just shoot 'em in the head." Naomi replied as she checked out her own revolver.
"Or we could just use this…" Franklin took out a Winchester Model 1897 pump-action riot gun and some 12 gauge ammo. "Hmm these might come in handy." He took out a few different colored shells.
"Those are breaching rounds." Naomi said.
"Might have to knock a few doors open." Franklin replied as he took out the cards and gave one each to the girls. "Now let's get our disguises set up."
He returned to the main console and began programming their disguises for Late Victorian Britain. The disguise he programmed in for himself, top to bottom, comprised of a dark brown bowler hat, period correct eyeglasses, a white shirt with a downturned collar, black necktie, olive brown vest, tan jacket and trousers, brown leather shoes and black socks.
He was about to program the disguised for the two girls when…
"May I?" Miranda interrupted.
"Go right ahead." Franklin got up and let Miranda sit down at the console.
The outfits Miranda programmed in for herself and Naomi were similar to Franklin's suit but with the following changes;
Hazel brown boater hats instead of bowlers, red neckties, The jacket's sleeves had shoulder puffs, white ladies gloves and, of course, brick red ankle length full skirts, as well as black and white mid-heel ankle shoes.
Miranda made a few more changes, then, she noticed something. "Hmm, looks like I can't change that. Oh well, guess this'll have to do." Then she selected finish. "All done, we're ready to go."
The agents loaded their gear into their bags of holding, opened up the portal and stepped on through…
(The Mission #1)
(Station #1: Franklin, Naomi, Miranda)
(Emma A Victorian Romance)
(London, England, 1896)
The three agents, now in their late Victorian clothes, stepped out of the portal that opened in an alley. The portal closed behind them as they emerged onto the street. They noticed a fair number of people walking up and down the street going about their business.
"Good thing I decided to set the portal up in a nearby alley." Franklin, with his hair now slicked back said. "Looks like nobody's noticing us walk out. That's good so far." He adjusted his bag of holding, which was still unchanged.
While Naomi's and Miranda's bags of holding had transformed into purses. In keeping with their current disguises.
"Hey, wait a minute." Naomi interrupted. "I just realized something, We're in the 19th century right?
"Obviously, Naomi. So?" Franklin inquired.
"And we're wearing 19th century style clothes." Naomi continued. "does that also mean…?" She started up blush.
"Um…" Miranda blushed. "Franklin could excuse us for a sec."
"Um, okay. I think I know what's going on here." Franklin, probably realizing what was going on stepped back just out of earshot.
Miranda took a deep breath and looked at Naomi. "Yes, Naomi, we're both wearing…" She whispered into Naomi's ear. "Split bottom knickers *blush*."
"Split bottom… EEEEK! Oh no! I knew it!" Naomi quickly crossed her gloved hands over her crotch is if to try to cover it despite being fully clothed. And her face was completely red with embarrassment. "WAH!" She grabbed Miranda by the arm and ran back inside the alley.
"He-Hey!" Miranda yelped, trying her best to stay on her feet.
"No, Frank! Don't look at us! Please!" Naomi yelped back at Franklin as she, still holding onto Miranda, cowered behind a stack of crates. "We're indecent!"
"You're fully clothed, Naomi!" Miranda reminded. "Ow! My arm! Let me go!" She managed to pull herself free loose of Naomi's grasp. "Oh honestly, Naomi." She scolded her over-reacting partner, hands on her hips and shaking her head at Naomi's current silliness.
"But I feel like I'm going commando under this skirt!" Naomi fidgeted as she continued to cower behind the stack of crates in the alleyway's entrance. Part of her blushing face and her skirt was sticking out. "Why couldn't we just wear modern underwear under these?"
"I tried but I'm afraid the programming wouldn't let me." Miranda replied.
"Now you tell me." Naomi moaned.
"I know. Sigh, I'm afraid we'll have to get used to it. There's a good chance we'll have to do a few missions in this time period." Miranda shrugged. "Anyway..."
Miranda walked back out to the street and examined her new attire and did a graceful twirl, causing her full ankle length skirt to flare out just enough to reveal her white petticoats underneath. Smiling as she did so.
Franklin noticed something about her petticoats as he approached. "Miranda, is that silk?"
"Um, yes." Miranda replied. "A couple layers of tiered silk petticoats to fluff up the skirt and give it a nice bell shape."
"So that's why our skirts have that 1950's poof." Naomi, now calmed down from realizing she was wearing period underwear, replied, patting her own skirt as she tentatively emerged from the alley.
"And it looks like you're both wearing hip pads." Franklin inquired.
"Um yeah, quilted hip pads." Miranda replied. "What do you think?" She turned her back to Franklin. "Does it make my bum look big?" And did a cute side-to-side wriggle with her rump.
"Something tells me I'd best not answer unless I want to get slapped." Franklin replied, blushing slightly.
Miranda did a ladylike giggle, her gloved hand dainty up to her chin. "One of those days I should do that with Cain. While dressed like this."
"I'll bet his reaction will be be pretty funny." Naomi giggled. Then she did the same cute wriggle with her own backside. "Well at least they're not those big metal bustles."
"Anyhoo back to why we're here…" Franklin took out the field analyzer, which transformed itself into a magnifying glass. "Well that's interesting. Let's see if we can find our targets." He began to scan the area.
After a few minutes the field analyzer began to ping.
ATTN: Anomalies in continuum detected, tracking.
A pointer appeared on the main screen. "Okay, this way then."
"You mean 'the game's afoot'." Miranda added.
Franklin walked down a few blocks, followed by Naomi and Miranda. After about half an hour of walking, they came to, according to the field analyzer, the Jones estate.
The field analyzer pinged again, its pointer aimed at said estate.
ATTN: Stus (unknown number) detected
Several canons detected.
ATTN: canons in distress, rescue recommended.
Naomi shuddered when she looked at the place. "*shudder* Even without the analyzer, I could that there's something really wrong and creepy about this place."
"Yeah, I'm feeling it too." Franklin agreed. "So what do you say we drop in for an uninvited visit."
The three agents approached the main gate. "Guess we're not going in that way." Franklin noticed a guard posted. He scanned him with the analyzer.
Name: Stevens
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Head Butler of the Jones Estate
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Emma, A Victorian Romance
Canon Character
"Or maybe we can, I wonder…" He swapped his glasses for ray-bans. Naomi and Miranda put on theirs and they approached the gate.
"Pardon me." Stevens asked. "But do you three have business here?"
"You could say that." Franklin took out his neuralyzer. "Could you please look here."
"Now What is-" Stevens was about to say when.
"Say cheese."
*FLASH*
Stevens looked at the agents with a vacant expression.
"Right then… Ahem…" Franklin exchanged his glasses as the two girls took off theirs. "Good say, sir, we're representatives from a private real estate firm in the Dominion of Canada. Here's our card." He gave the guard his business card.
"Hmmm…" Stevens read the card. "Roland, Cabot and Delaney real estate LLC."
"Your lord's already expecting us, so could you let us in please. We would like to see him."
Stevens nodded and opened the gate allowing the agents in. Then he returned the card. "Please follow me."
The agents followed the butler up to the front door. "I'm surprised we actually pulled that off." Naomi said.
"Me too." Franklin replied.
Stevens opened the front door. "Do come in please." The three agents entered the mansion. Stevens led the agents to the upper floor. Before long they came to the master's study room.
"Master Richard, and young master William are currently downstairs with some visitors." Stevens said as they entered the study. "I will go inform him that you have arrived. Please wait here in the study."
"What's this?" Franklin noticed what looked like a magazine laying on the ornate wooden desk. The agents approached the desk and looked at the magazine.
There were Japanese words on the cover, Which the field analyzer translated into English;
MANDARUMA
(adult)
Hellsing
Naruto!
Bleach
Emma
Yotsuba&!
The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
The Big Windup!
Pictured on the cover was a naked blonde woman with narrow blue eyes. She looked like she was restrained by her arms.
The words 'sieg heil' was cut into her chest above her large naked breasts. Blood seeping from the letters.
Also said breasts had a nazi swastika cut into them as well as as pair of metal hook attachments piercing her nipples.
She was covered in globs of off white slime and was grimacing in pain.
Franklin scanned the picture of the woman.
Name: Integra Wingates Hellsing
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Head of the Hellsing Organization
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Hellsing
Canon Character
ATTN; Canon appears in this hentai doujinshi, current agents need not rescue, task currently handled by agents Lance Beckerson(Knight, Midwestern Brotherhood Of Steel) and Randy(Hairy Deathclaw, Midwestern Brotherhood of Steel)
"Oh eww! I think I know what that white gunk she's covered in is." Naomi recoiled back in revulsion. "Oh gross!"
"This certainly can't be good." Miranda added.
"Not to mention what's it doing here?" Franklin picked up the magazine. "For starters, 'Hellsing' is set in modern day London. No Idea what world 'Naruto's set on. And the remaining continua, other than 'Emma' are all modern day also. So this porn magazine shouldn't be here. Shouldn't exist yet."
"That's definitely a charge." Miranda wrote down. "Charge for anachronistic foreign pornographic reading material."
"I'm going to take a look at this." Franklin placed the magazine back on the desk and opened up the first page. "I want to see what we might be dealing with."
The first page was a table of contents, with the continuum they were in at the top. Next to it was a message that read:
'No Matter what happens, they can't lift a finger'
Underneath was an egg shaped doll wrapped up in bondage and looking sad. On its chest was the word 'Kinky'.
"Stevens, when did this arrive?" Franklin asked.
But before Stevens could answer. "WHAAAH!" Naomi suddenly yelped as she suddenly went clean through the wall she was about to lean on. The two agents and the butler turn to see Naomi's skirt, flipped up to show off her lower legs and white petticoats, as it disappeared into the wall.
"NAOMI!" Miranda yelped.
"Ugh… I'm okay." Naomi's voice came out through the wall then she waved her arm through the wall. "I think I just found a plot-hole."
"Oh my god!" Stevens yelped, looking understandably spooked. "You're a ghost!"
"No I'm not!" Naomi retorted, sticking her head and shoulders through the wall. "I'm pretty much alive last time I checked. Hang on, I'm coming out."
Then she came out of the plot hole dragging out a bound and gagged blonde haired man about roughly twice her age.
"Oh, by the way, I found, well, fell on this guy in here." Naomi said as she finished dragging him out. "Is he your boss?"
Stevens looked pretty surprised when he looked at the person Naomi just pulled out. "My word! Master Richard! Is that you!?"
"Hang on. Gimme a sec to untie him." Naomi untied and ungagged Richard as Franklin scanned him.
Name: Richard Jones
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Lord of the Jones Estate, Owner of Jones trading company
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Emma, A Victorian Romance
Canon Character
ATTN: The fact you found him in a plot-hole indicates that there is a replacement stu present in this continuum. Recommend that replacement be located and eliminated.
"A replacement stu. Well this day keeps getting better and better." Miranda said.
"Hopefully he'll be easier to kill than our last two." Naomi said.
"Can someone tell me what is going on here!?" Richard demanded as he stood up. "And who are you three?"
"We're agents, and that's all you need to know. You could start by telling us how you ended up in that plot-hole, Mr. Jones." Franklin said.
"The plot-hole?" Richard looked at Franklin.
"Inside the wall, where this young lady found you." Franklin explained, gesturing to Naomi.
"Oh yes that." Richard scratched his chin. "I was sitting at my desk going over some contracts when this group of thugs and a person who looked just like me suddenly appeared. Under his orders, they suddenly grabbed me and tied me up. I demanded to know that they were doing to me right before they gagged me."
"Did they answer before they put you in that plot-hole?" Franklin asked.
"Yes." Richard nodded. "That imposter told me that they were here on behalf of their master, one Uziga Waita, to 'improve our reality, starting with my son, William and that housemaid that works for Kelly Stoner. Then they plan to the same with my other children before they threw me into this… Plot-hole you call it. I don't know how long I was in there until…"
He looked at Naomi. "That young lady suddenly fell on top of me."
"My bad. Anyway, Uziga Waita?" Naomi cocked her head.
"He must be the stuthor of this particular story." Miranda added.
"Speaking of which…" Franklin, Naomi and Miranda read through the 'Emma' portion of the doujinshi. "Oh my god!" His face turned white with shock.
"Oh My!" Miranda's face was just as pale, her hands covering her mouth.
"Oh fuck!" Naomi added. "This is just… Just… Oh fuck! These stuthors are just fucking sick!"
"Same goes for the stus in that doujinshi." Franklin agreed. "We're putting an end to this! Stevens, where is the other Richard right now?"
"Uh… I do believe he's downstairs in the servant's floor." Stevens answered. "Along with William and that Stoner maid. They've been down there for quite some time."
"Take us to them, now!" Franklin took out his badge and pinned it to his jacket on his left chest. Naomi and Miranda did the same.
Stevens led Richard and the three agents downstairs to the servant's level.
XXX
Before long they reached the servant's level. The first thing they heard was…
"Haa! AH! AAH HAA! NO!" A woman screaming from behind a steel door. There were also squelching, splurting and pumping and sounds coming from that room.
The three agents quietly approached the door. They looked through the viewing slit. They saw...
A young brown haired woman, wearing glasses being violently raped by a group of brutes. Her limbs were chopped off above the knees and elbows and she was soaked in smelly sweat, urine and semen.
Franklin compared the gruesome scene in that room to a page in the doujinshi. "Just like in the doujinshi." He said. Then he scanned the victim.
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Maid of all works, employed by Kelly Stoner
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Emma, A Victorian Romance
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing, severely sexual assaulted. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
"Oh my god!" Miranda gasped. "This is even worse than tn that damn comic book!"
"You said it, Miranda." Naomi added. "Smellier too, pee-yew." She plugged nose from the rank odors coming from that room. "What are we waiting for? Let's bust in and shoot those bastards!"
"We have to wait for the replacement to show up, I'm afraid." Franklin replied, a look of utter disgust on his face. "Unfortunately, that won't be for a few more 'pages' of this shit."
Unfortunately, he was right
The thugs continued to rape the mutilated Emma. The sounds coming from that room were the schlucking and slurping noises as they forced their penises into her mouth, vagina and anus and her mostly inane babble. Eventually they stopped.
"I can't believe she hasn't gone crazy yet" One of the stus said as he looked down at the now soiled twitching maid.
Then another voice, sounding a lot like Richard said "Well, about that."
Out of the shadows came the replacement stu. He slammed something heavy on the floor. Emma looked up to see what it was.
And so did the agents. "you gotta be kidding me, they chopped him up too!?' Naomi gasped. "And it looks like they gouged out his eyes too!"
"Who!?" The real Richard asked.
Franklin scanned the mutilated boy.
Name: William Jones
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Heir to the Jones Estate,
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Emma, A Victorian Romance
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing, eyes missing, tongue missing. Recommend rescuing and bringing him to medical.
"It's your son, William." Franklin answered as he pulled out his shotgun. He loaded a breaching shell into the chamber then he loaded two more into the tube. "Door opens outwards, gotta shoot the hinges off too."
Naomi and Miranda loaded their revolvers by flipping open the cylinders and charged them using speed loaders.
"My son!?" Richard gasped. His face was turning white as a sheet.
Back in the room, the replacement Stu continued to speak.
"It's time for your reward." He presented the now arm less, leg less, eye less and tongue less William. His own penis was tied up a the base and tip and was swollen and twitching. "It's just my useless son, though."
William could only moan like a tortured soul.
"William…" Emma crawled over to William. "AAH! WILLIAM! WILLIAM! WILLIAM! WILLIAM! WI-AAH!" She screamed as the thugs resumed raping her.
"Wow, They're really in love, Huh." One of the stus said.
"Yeah, it's a scene out of a play." The other stu replied.
Suddenly the stus heard Franklin shout out. "BREACH! BREACH! BREACH!" Followed by a loud…
*BANG, shik-shuk, BANG, shik-shuk, BANG*
The door handle suddenly exploded, followed by the hinges. Then the door was kicked in. It fell inwards revealing three angry agents. The two females pointing their pistols right at the stus.
" 'Scene out of a play'?" Franklin cycled the action emptying the chamber. The smoking shell spun out of the breech and fell to the stone floor. "Yeah right! And I'm a frigging ballet dancer!" Franklin loaded a buckshot shell in the open breech, closed it and began loading the tube with more shells.
"Who are you!?" The replacement Richard demanded. "How dare you interrupt us!"
"We dare!? WE DARE!? SERIOUSLY!?" Naomi replied first, pointing her revolver. "WE'RE NOT THE ASSHOLES CHOPPING THE LIMBS OFF CANON CHARACTERS AND USING 'EM AS SEX TOYS, YOU GLITTER BLOODED SONOVABITCH!"
"And as as for who we are, let's just say we're your worst nightmare!" Miranda declared.
Franklin stated the charges. "Replacement Richard Jones AKA Gary Stu, you as well as your fellow Gary Stus present have been charged with bringing a 21th century Japanese Hentai Doujinshi into a 19th century British estate.
Replacing Richard Jones.
Mutilating both Emma the maid and William Jones up to and including the amputation of both arms and legs and, in the case of William, the amputation of both eyes and tongue.
Subjecting Emma to multiple acts of violent rape.
Covering her in enough semen to impregnate nearly every women in London.
Smelling up the place.
Being Gary Stus.
Being rapists
And generally pissing us off!
You have been found guilty of all charges against this continuum.
The sentence is death!"
"Is that so? You dare to be judge, jury and executioner?" Not!Richard replied. "Men teach these fools a lesson. Make them suffer the same fate as my useless son and that bitch."
"With pleasure, Boss!" The Gary Stus rushed at the three agents.
Franklin blasted the nearest stu in the chest causing it to explode in bone and glitter as the buckshot tore through his lungs and heart. As the stu fell backwards his partner tried to punch out Franklin as he began to load a fresh shell. Franklin had to dodge the incoming blow and responded by thrusting the shotgun's butt into the stu's abdomen. The stu's breath shot out of him as he doubled over. Then Franklin bashed him on the back driving him face first to the floor. Franklin pinned him down with his foot and finished him by slam firing a shell to the back of his head, scattering bone, brains and glittery blood all over the floor.
Miranda shot two rounds the stu rushing at her in the chest. He staggered back but didn't go down. He tried to advance but was now coughing up glitter from his shot up lungs. Then Miranda then aimed at his head. She pulled the trigger and put a bullet through the stu's left eye. Glitter spurted from his eye socket as the bullet pulped his eye and entered his brain. The dead stu fell face first to the floor. Miranda put one more bullet into his head to make sure.
Naomi fired a round at the forth stu's head but he ducked under at the last moment and the bullet went over his head. Before Naomi could readjust, the stu managed to grab her causing her to drop her pistol. Then he placed himself behind Naomi pressing himself up against his body. "Gotcha now, cutie!" He gloated as he began to molest.
"EEEEEK!" Naomi yelped and squirmed when she felt his still stiff manhood poke her in her butt, his rancid stench filling her nostrils, slimy tongue licking on the back of her neck and his large sweaty hands groping her body. "Ew eww EWWW! Get your stinking hands offa me, asshole!" Naomi, using her unusual strength, Stomped down hard on the stu's foot, crushing his foot bones and causing him to scream out in pain and letting her loose from his lecherous smelly sweaty grasp.
"Why you…" Then Naomi spun around and gave the large stu a swift hard kick to the still erect privates. As he doubled over in even more screaming pain, Naomi slammed him in the jaw with a fast right hook, causing some of his teeth to shoot out of his mouth and sending him spinning. Naomi picked up her revolver as the stu tried to grab her again. She shot him twice in the privates. As he collapsed on the floor trying to stop the glitter spurting from his now mangled penis, the last thing he ever saw was Naomi point her revolver at his face and pulled the trigger. She emptied her remaining three rounds right into his head killing him.
"Maybe you should have shot him in the chest first. Then put a couple of rounds through his head." Miranda said.
"Yeah, maybe I should remember that next time." Naomi replied. "Man that dude was fast. Hard jaw too." Then she shuddered. "*shudder* Just thinking about that...*shudder*… Even harder stiffy of his poking my butt! And his gross slimy tongue on my neck! And his sweaty hands all over the place! Ew ew eww EWWW!"
"Remind me not to get you mad, Naomi." Franklin said as pumped in another shell. "Now then…" He glared at the replacement Richard, now cowering in fear at the back of the room. "Safe to say we can now add attempted rape of an R-34 T.F. agent(who's also a LAPD officer) to your charge list." He pointed the shotgun at the replacement's chest.
"No! Please wait! Mercy!" Not!Richard begged, his high class accent breaking. His eyes wide with terror a he gazed at the large bore of the shotgun staring back at him."I was just following orders! This is not my-"
*BANG*
Not!Richard's now dead eyes rolled upwards as he slowly slumped to the floor, leaving a large streak of glittery blood on the wall behind him.
The agents removed Emma and William from the room.
The real Richard knelt by his son. He was completely wracked in anguish, tears of despair flowing down his wrought face. "William… How could they!? Damn them! DAMN THEM!" He sobbed.
"Frank, what're we gonna do?" Naomi asked.
"Right now the best thing to do is to get those two to medical." Franklin took out the portal generator. "And maybe-"
Suddenly, the slain stus and the room they were raping Emma in all went 'poof' disappearing in a cloud of glittery dust. Then Emma and William suddenly went poof. When the cloud of glitter dissipated…
Both Emma and William had reverted back to their normal appearances. Their arms and legs had reappeared, along with William's tongue and eyes. And they were both now completely clean and fully clothed, Emma wearing her maid uniform, William wearing his suit.
"Huh? What!?" Emma gasped as she stared in complete surprise at her now returned hands. "What happened!? My arms! My legs! They're back! How!?"
"That's my… Wait a second! I can talk!" William looked back at Emma. "And I can see again! And I'm not in any pain anymore!"
"Me too, William!" Emma replied. Then they noticed the three agents.
"Huh? Who are you!?"William asked.
"Clearly not real estate agents, young master." Stevens replied.
"Careful now." Miranda helped Emma and then William back up on their feet. "Seeing as you just got your legs back."
Then she looked at Franklin. "Look like it's the same thing when you killed that replacement Dex." She said.
"You mean, kill the main stu, and everything he did gets erased from reality as if it never even happened." Naomi said
"I think so too." Franklin nodded. "And I wonder." He re-scanned Emma. "Well, according to this, you're back to being a virgin, miss Emma."
Emma blushed. "I'm a virgin again? But what they were doing to me earlier…"
"It never happened." Franklin replied. "As far as this reality is concerned, what happened to you and William before we showed up has been erased from all time."
"But we still remember it all." William said. "But only now…" He scratched his chin. "It all feels like a bad dream."
"I agree William." Emma added. "Now it just feels like a horrible painful putrid nightmare we just woke up from." Them Emma looked at the agents. "And now I can't help but feel like I met you three before."
"Huh?" The three agents cocked their heads in slight confusion.
"Well, anyway…" Franklin opened a portal.
"What is that?" William asked.
"It's a portal." Franklin answered. "We just want to get you two over to medical to have you checked out. Then afterwords we'll have you interviewed before we return you. Could you please step through the portal? Oh and you too Mr. Jones and Stevens."
The canons looked at each other.
"Trust us, we're the good guys." Miranda suggested.
"Um… Okay then." Richard nodded. He stepped through the portal first. Followed by William, Emma and Stevens. Franklin closed the portal behind them. Then opened a portal to their home station.
"I want to get this segment filed and sent in before we head on to clean out 'Bleach'." Franklin said. "Also I think we should turn in this doujinshi we found."
"Sounds like a plan to me." Miranda said.
"So 'Bleach', where is that set." Naomi inquired.
"I think it's set in modern Japan." Miranda answered.
"Oh good, modern underwear." Naomi smiled. "I still feel like I'm going commando wearing these knickers."
The agents stepped through the portal to their station. Their turn in killing this doujinshi is done for now.
The Brotherhood Of Steel will now take over…
(The Mission #2)
(Station #2 Lance, Randy)
(Naruto, Work For Money)
(Just outside a building, unknown location on Shinobi!Earth)
Two bearded men dressed as ninjas approached a building. In that building is where their targets for assassination, along with a canon female they had mutilated and was currently raping, were waiting.
Before we go any further, we should know a few things about these two ninjas:
1. They're not really ninjas, they are, in fact agents.
2. Their home continuum is Fallout.
3. They are the Brotherhood Of Steel(Midwestern Chapter)
4. One of them is a hairy deathclaw from a tribe whose culture is based on pro-wrestling from the 'back when' times. So, as a result, he looks, talks, and behaves like 'Macho Man Randy Savage'.
"Oh yeah! So this is where they're hiding." Randy, in his human guise said as he looked at the building. "Even in this human disguise, I can smell 'em on my tongue. Oh yeah! And smell really tasty. DIG IT!" His human disguise resembles the ancient(to both him and Lance) pro-wrestler, Randy 'Macho-Man' Savage, in a ninja suit. He still wore his custom sunglasses and his stylish cowboy hat, now adorned with the ninja headband whose metal forehead plate bore the symbol of the Brotherhood Of Steel.
"So you think Gary Stus taste better than the average brahmin then?" Lance, A knight of the Midwestern Brotherhood Of Steel replied as he checked his field analyzer. He too was also disguised as a ninja and his headband also bore the same symbol.
"I guess so, oh yeah." Randy replied. "Or maybe radscorpion. I wonder if their glittery blood makes 'em taste like pop-rocks."
Before we continue, a little background history on these two:
Before he was 'recruited' Lance Beckerson was a knight of the Midwestern Brotherhood Of Steel.
Before that he grew up on a homestead in what was once the state of Kansas. Much of his life was farming, helping to raise the crops and tending to the family's heard of bighorners. It wasn't an easy life all things considered. By the time he was ten, he was already good using firearms, usually a junky Remington 700 hunting rifle held together with duct tape, wire and a prayer.
When he turned eighteen his life turned for the worse when when a band of super mutants raided. He was captured by the mutants and was being taken back to their camp when he, along with the few reaming survivors(mostly farmhands) was rescued by a squad of brotherhood knights and a hairy deathclaw scout.
With nothing left following the super mutant raid, not even his family. Lance decided to join his rescuers and begin again, hoping to one day get enough caps together to one day rebuild his farm and start a new family. Over the next several years he served in the Brotherhood Of Steel, eventually gaining the rank of knight and all the perks that came with it. As well as becoming one helluva mechanic and engineer.
Now Randy was hatched and raised by a tribe of hairy deathclaws what was allied with the brotherhood. He managed to survive to maturity hunting the dangerous mutated wildlife of the wastelands. He passed his trials of adulthood and became a warrior earning the right to be given a name by the elders. He was given the name of Randy Savage that day and he was macho ever since. Ooo yeah! As he would say.
He joined the brotherhood as a scout a week later and shortly after was present when they defeated a group of super mutants transporting slaves(or their dinner) they captured when they raided and destroyed the Beckerson farmstead. That was when he first met Lance.
Several years later they got 'recruited by a 4th dimensional organization, namely the newly formed R-34 Task Force.
Which brings us the readers back to their current mission.
Prior to setting out, the agents were given a copy of the doujinshi that was recovered by three other agents visiting late Victorian London. Another copy was given to another agent pair, which we'll meet later on.
So Lance and Randy read the portion of of the doujinshi they were going to deal with shortly after they arrived. And now they were looking through a window at the disgusting scene taking place inside.
Lance, using a customized pip-boy, scanned the female canon the stus were raping;
Name: Tsunade
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Ninja, Fifth Hokage of Konohagakure(Hidden Leaf Village) NR 002302
Homeworld: Shinobi!Earth
Home Continuum: Naruto
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing, severely sexual assaulted. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical. Make sure to feed some to your partner.
He would also scan the two rapist, confirming that they were Gary Stus.
"Ha… Haa… Ah… Stop…" Tsunade gasped as her vagina was penetrated by a large thick penis belong to a Gary Stu. Loud schlucking noises could be heard "I'm… Gonna cum! AAAAH!"
"I'm cumming inside the Hokage...!" The raping stu gloated like a boozed up frat boy.
Meanwhile, Lance compared the scene inside to his copy of the doujinshi. "Looks like they were right. Those bastards are following this comic right down to the panel and phrase. Ugh, do they have to make all that schlucking and schlurping noise? If I didn't know any better, I thought I was hearing a radslug mating orgy."
"Radslug mating orgy?" Randy started to look a bit green. "Ugh… Are you trying to make me lose my appetite? Yeah I agree, Outside of radslugs, those ain't normal human mating sounds, ooo no."
"Yeah, well stus don't do normal. Plus that's a raping going on in there, on a canon, not to mention they also hacked that poor lady's limbs off. Who the hell came up with this load of brahmin shit? College frat-boys completely drunk and high on Jet?" Lance wrote down the first set of charges.
They looked back inside. "I'm guessing right now she's thinking…"
"Why… Why won't anyone… Come rescue me…" Tsunade thought as the stu extracted himself with a loud… *Pop*...
"Wow, I'd expect no less from one of the sannin." The 1st stu that just raped her gloated. "She's tight as hell."
"I'll go next." The 2nd tu said as he lifted up her backside. "You'll be in my care."
"L- Leave me alone already." Tsunade moaned in pain. "You know what would happen to you if I got serious..?!"
"Something tells me that, without her arms and legs, that obviously won't happen." Lance shook his head.
"Guess when it's charging time, we'll just have to get serious for her, Oh yeah." Randy added. "Oh yeah, and rescue her too. How much longer by the way?"
" 'Bout eight more 'pages' I'm afraid." Lance replied.
"Serious?" The 2nd stu inserted himself. "Please do so."
"Kuah…" Tsunade moaned.
"I'll become serious as well" The 2nd stu gloated as his penis swelled and became… knobbly?
Tsunade became startled. "WHA-! What is...This… It's becoming bigger… Inside of me…"
"And bumpier and bumpier too." Lance said as he compared the scene to the page.
"Is that supposed to be a schlong or a knotted up tree stump?" Randy asked. "Are they supposed to look like that? Ours are kinda spiky. Our mates like it like that by the way. Ooo yeah."
"No, Randy. Ours aren't knobbly or spiky." Lance shook his head. "Definitely charging for that."
Then Lance looked down at his bag of holding." Hmmm. You know, I think I may have found something to test my new weapon on."
"You mean the one that goes…" Randy mimicked opening and closing jaws with his (currently human) hands.
Lance nodded.
"Ooooo." Randy winched, especially when he thought about where Lance was planning to use that new weapon. Keep in mind that Randy's really a hairy deathclaw… Let that sink in. "That's gonna smart. Ooo yeah."
"Kguh… Ah. AAAAAAAH!" Tsunade screamed as the 2nd stu's knobbly penis was driven deeper into her body distorting her abdomen. "Kuh… It hurts…"
"Oh amazing." The 2nd stu replied. "You managed to take it all without being ripped apart." Then he started thrusting violently. "Then I'll go ahead and make you feel good now."
"GAH- STO-… I'M GONNA BREAK...!" Tsunade screamed in sheer pain and agony.
Lance just glared. "I'm really gonna enjoy making that freak scream."
"STOP…" Tsunade screamed. "NGH…"
"If you don't like it, get serious and attack me then!" The 2nd stu continued to rape. "But I'll bet you can't use your superhuman now that you don't have your arms and legs."
"AH NOH!" Tsunade screamed as the 1st stu started pinching her nipples.
"Come on, Attack me!" The 1st stu goaded.
"Hey is it just me or is that 1st stu's ding-dong getting all bumpy and stuff?" Randy asked, pointing at the 1st stu.
"It isn't just you, Randy." Lance replied. "Great, now I'm spoiled for choice. Which one should I get and which one you want to eat?"
"NBUH!" Tsunade gagged as the 1st stu pushed his knobbly penis into her mouth.
"Don't you dare grind you teeth, got it?" The 1st stu threatened. "If you do that, I'll dislocate your jaw with my dick!"
"UGH! Ugh...uh!" Tsunade continued to gag, looking like she was about to puke.
"You know what, Randy, I just changed my mind." Lance said. "I'll take stu #1. Stu #2's all yours, once I drive him out to you."
"I wonder if my claws are sharp enough." Randy pondered. Lance raised an eyebrow.
"Ha ha, she's started using her tongue!"The 1st stu gloated. "Tsunade is licking my dick of her own volition!"
"Ugh… Uguh… Ueh…" Tsunade gagged.
"Alright, I'm cumming!" The 1st stu… well you know.
"UGH! UUUGH!" Tsunade gagged violently.
"He's actually… I think I'm gonna be sick!" Lance started to look a bit green. "I'm charging for that."
"Seconded." Randy agreed. "Forcing reproductive juices down the throat instead of up the cloaca? Are you primates always this… sick?"
"Randy… You have no idea." Lance replied shaking his head in disgust.
The 1st stu extracted himself from Tsunade's mouth. But the 2nd stu continued to rape. "AH...AHG! AAAAAGH!" She screamed out in pain.
"No one… Is coming to save me anymore… Are they?" Tsunade thought. "Shizune… Sakura… Naruto…" Then she blacked out from the pain.
Just then, Randy started sniffing the air with his own (forked) tongue.
"Randy, what are you doing?" Lance asked.
"Just checking if there's anyone else besides us, the stus and that mangled canon, oo yeah." Randy continued to 'sniff' until…
"Ooo yeah, dig it! I think I got something! Three different scents… Over there!" Randy walked away about fifty or so feet, 'sniffing' with his tongue until. "Hmm, seems to be strongest coming from this wall here." Then he reached out to the wall and notice his hand go through. "Wha?"
"Randy, I think you just found, well sniffed out a plot-hole!" Lance hurried over. He looked in and saw three people floating inside, two ladies(one mature lady with short black hair wearing a calf length black kimono, and a pre-teenaged ninja with short pink hair) and one pre-teenaged boy with spiky blonde hair and 'whisker' marks on his face. All three were bound and gagged.
"Hmmmm… Let me guess…" Lance pointed at the three. "Shizune, Sakura and Naruto?"
The three tied up canons nodded.
"Hang on, we'll get you three out." Lance and Randy removed the three from the plot-hole. Then they untied the canons and Lance scanned the three.
Name: Naruto Uzumaki
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Ninja, Genin rank,NR 012607, Possessor of/possessed by Nine Tailed Fox
Homeworld: Shinobi!Earth
Home Continuum: Naruto
Canon Character
Name: Sakura Haruno
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Ninja, Genin, Medical-nin, NR 012601
Homeworld: Shinobi!Earth
Home Continuum: Naruto
Canon Character
Name: Shizune
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Ninja, Jonin, Medical-nin, NR 010800
Homeworld: Shinobi!Earth
Home Continuum: Naruto
Canon Character
"By any chance were you three looking for Tsunade?" Lance asked.
Shizune answered first. "Yes we were. She disappeared some time ago."
"So how'd you three end up in there?" Randy asked.
"That weird space? I dunno." Naruto answered. "Wait a sec… When we came here these two dudes came out and asked what we were doing. So I told 'em we were looking for Tsunade. Shizune even gave 'em her description.
Then Sakura continued. "They said they might know where she went and was willing to discuss it over some tea. So we went in and had tea. But shortly after I took my first sip of the tea they offered… I suddenly felt really dizzy. I also noticed both Naruto and Shizune weren't looking too good either. I realized too late that we've been drugged."
Then Shizune finished up. "The last thing I remembered was they were saying something about keeping us out of the way while they took care of Tsunade. Next thing I remembered I was bound and gagged along with Naruto and Sakura in that weird space." She looked at the agents. "Then I saw a hand and then your head poke through asking our names."
Then Shizune noticed their headbands. "Your symbol, I don't recognize it. What village are you two from?"
Lance and Randy looked at each other before Lance answered. "Um… Well… Let's just say we're from the… um, the village-hood of steel. But that not important right now. We found Tsunade but…" He looked at Naruto and Sakura. "How old are you two?"
"Why?" Naruto and Sakura asked back.
"They're both 12." Shizune answered. "Wait a second. Are you telling me that-"
She was interrupted when they heard Tsunade scream. Both Naruto and Sakura ran towards the source of the scream. "Oh CRAP! Naruto! Sakura! Wait!" Shizune ran towards then just as they came to a stop at the window that Lance and Randy were looking earlier. Both Naruto and Sakura turned completely white with shock.
Along with Shizune. When all three saw what was going on inside.
"Wh-What the hell!?" Shizune gasped at the horrible rape scene still going on. "Wh-Where are her arms and legs!? NO DON'T LOOK AT HER!" She tried to cover both Naruto's and Sakura's wide with shock eyes. She was looking pretty freaked out. Can't really blame her.
"What 'page' are they on?" Randy asked as lance looked in.
"Second to last." Lance compared the scene unfolding inside. "Looks like they were too occupied to notice those three freaking out.
"Huh? Did her mind get blown? The 2nd stu asked as he continued his rape.
"Yeah." The 1st stu answered as he looked down at Tsunade's twitching body."Ah, she's not even conscious anymore."
"Aaaaah." Tsunade moaned.
"Kuh… CUMMING!" The 2nd stu came.
"Phew. I guess that's it." The 1st stu put on a light robe as his partner extracted himself and also started to get dressed.
"Yeah, I came like crazy." The 2nd stu said.
"I know you three want to rush in there and kick arse, but I want you all stay out here." Lance told the three ninjas. "These men are our targets, so don't argue." He approached the door.
"I hope I never fall this low from gambling." The 2nd stu said.
"Yeah, you should value yourself more more, Tsunade-sama."
Just then the door opened and in walked Lance. His right hand inside the bag of holding. "You know, you two, I was gonna say something witty to counter that last statement about value." He looked down at Tsunade. "But I can't think of a damn thing, so I'm gonna cut to the chase and press your charges."
"Who the fuck are you?" The 1st stu demanded. "Which ninja clan are you from."
Lance began pressing the charges. "You two Gary Stus are charged with mutilating and brutally raping a Naruto canon character. Namely 5th Hokage Tsunade of the hidden leaf village.
Sticking three other canons, namely Naruto, Sakura, and Shizune into a plot-hole.
Making your raping of Tsunade sound like a radslug mating orgy, making both me and my partner nauseous.
Making her drink your jizz.
Having large ugly as fuck dicks. I mean seriously, what in the name of Maxson is up with those bumpy lumpy oversized schlongs of yours? Is that supposed to be some kind of sick jitsu?
And being rapists and Gary Stus.
And making me nauseous.
I find you abominations against canon guilty as fuck and you two are hereby sentenced to be my new test subjects…"
Lance takes his arm out of the bag of holding. "For this." His forearm was how equipped with a power fist fitted with a 16 inch wide bear trap. Hissing noises can be heard as its hydraulic pistons were opening the tempered steel jaws until they locked at 180 degrees full open. The plunger in the centre coming forward with an audible click, caging the springs.
"Wh-What is that!?" The 2nd stu pointed at the strange device on Lance's arm.
"Oh this? Just my own personal variant of the ghost people's bear trap fist." Lance held up the bear trap fist as he gave a sinister look at the two stus. Or rather, he was looking at their still erect huge bumpy penises. "Now which one of you shall my new toy blow-job? Hmmm?" He pointed the bear trap fist at the stus. "Eeny meeny miiny…" He waved the bear trap fist from one stu to the other until…
"MOE!" Lance lunged at the 1st stu. He grabbed him by his right shoulder with his free hand and pushed his back to the wall as he sent the bear trap fist straight at the stu's large erect penis. The instant it came in contact with the plunger, the steel jaws instantaneously clamped down fast and hard on the lumpy manhood with a loud snap.
The other agent and the three canons outside all winched. "Oooooooo." They all said.
"Even out here I felt that." Randy said first.
"Me too. Oh that looked like it hurt." Followed by Naruto.
"I felt that too and I'm a girl!" Sakura added.
"Seconded. OW to the nth power!" Along with Shizune.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAH!" The stu screamed out in ear ringing pain as he tried to prize the unrelenting steel jaws off his penis. His glittery blood squirting out in high pressure jets from where the jaw's steel teeth had cut into his engorged flesh.
"C'mon, you piece of shit!" Lance snarled as he wrenched the bear trap fist, causing it to cut deeper. "C'mon! Try and dislocate these jaws with that stupid dick of yours! Jaws that are made of tempered saturnite steel and backed up by 900 lbs of coiled spring loaded force! C'MON!"
"AAAAAHGH! STOP! STOP! PLEASE! YOU'RE TEARING IT UP!" The stu continued to scream in agony as the bleeding spray became more intense. He was still trying the grip and pull the jaws open, but now they're completely slippery with his own glitter.
Meanwhile his partner in crime had cowered into a corner looking on in sheer horror.
"HELP ME! PLEASE! AAAAAHGH! HELP ME!" The 1st stu screamed out to his cowering partner. Seconds later, his penis along with his fingers were now completely severed as the steel jaws completely closed. The severed member falling to the floor with an audible thump. Followed by the now maimed stu, glitter pumping out the stump that was once his penis and pumping out of his severed fingers. He blacked out from the severe glitter loss and in seconds he was dead.
"Next." Lance leered at the 2nd stu as the bear trap fist, now completely soaked in glittery blood re-opened with the same hissing noises followed by the click of the plunger arming.
"YAAAAAAH! KEEP AWAY FROM ME!" The panicked half naked stu frantically ran out the door past the three shocked canons. Only to come to a halt when ran into Randy, bumping off him and falling back on his naked butt.
"Oooo yeah, lookee what we have here." Randy looked down at the surprised stu. "Hey Lance!" He called out to lance as he came out. "Looks like your little test went well, yeah!"
"You could say that." Lance replied looking at his glitter coated bear trap fist.
"Still wanna keep testing?" Randy asked.
Lance shrugged and dis-armed the bear trap fist, the jaws closing with a loud clang. "Nah, I'm good. He's all yours." He looked at the stu who looked back at him. "Well well. Looks to me you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. And while I'm the deep blue sea…"
The stu noticed a REALLY big shadow growing behind him. When he looked back at Randy, He turned completely white with fright when he saw…
"I AM THE DEVIL! OOO YEAH! AND THE DEVIL'S MIGHTY HUNGRY NOW! YEAH DIG IT!" Randy in his true form. A half tonne 10 foot tall hairy deathclaw.
Now to those that aren't familiar with the game,'Fallout Tactics'.
A hairy deathclaw is a strain of deathclaw that's found in the northwestern post apocalyptic United States from Idaho to Illinois and can be found as far south as Kansas. They can also be found roaming the Canadian wastes from Labrador to Alberta going as far north as Great Slave Lake in the Northwest Territory. Although some speculate they may have spread as far north as the arctic archipelago and are competing with wolves, wolverines and polar yao-guai for rad-caribou, fish, bigmuskers(a mutated musk-ox), seals and rad-walruses.
Unlike the southern deathclaw of 'Fallout 3' and 'New Vegas' or the eastern deathclaw of 'Fallout 4', the hairy deathclaw was derived from mammal DNA enabling them to live in cold climates like prairie, steppe, taiga, alpine and tundra. Although they still lay eggs. They are much more intelligent, rivaling both humans and super mutants and are capable of human speech.
As for their appearance, hairy deathclaws are covered in, well, hair of course. However this pelt is longer and darker on their forearms, lower legs up to just above the knee, back of their head behind the eyes, groin, back, tail and lower jaws on the males(which Randy has grown out to resemble a 'beard').
Hairy Deathclaws have six horns on their head. A single horn on their elongated wolf-like snout. And the remaining five on the back of the head. With the outer two resembling the horns of a bighorn ram curling around their ears and the inner three resembling goat horns and growing backwards.
And finally we get to the claws themselves. Hairy Deathclaws have five digit hands and feet(although many older drawing incorrectly portray them as having only four). Each finger and toe carrying a large hooked claw on them. Of course the ones on the large hands are larger, longer and sharp enough to reduce a brahmin or a radscorpion into a pile of steaks in seconds.
And Randy, being well Randy, has taken to wearing a leather loincloth, arm and leg protectors painted purple with gold stars, cowboy hat, custom-built sunglasses, and a gladiator style shoulder guard on his right shoulder bearing the symbol of the Brotherhood Of Steel.
Now then, let's get back to the story.
"WAAAAAH! OHMIGOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?" A completely (and understandably) freaked out Shizune yelled out as she pointed at Randy with her shaking finger.
"I take it this is the first time you three saw a hairy deathclaw." Lance replied. "Wearing a cowboy hat and shades."
Randy leaned down towards the trembling stu until he could see his own reflection in the stu's terror widened eyes. He let out a low menacing growl before softly telling the stu to…
"Run."
The stu got on his still bare feet and ran like mad towards the treeline. After counting to five, Randy took off after him running on all fours. "OOO YEAH! RUN, STU! RUN! I'M COMIN' TO GETCHA! I'M COMIN' TO GETCHA! DIG IT!"
"AAAAAAAAH! KEEP AWAY! KEEP AWAY!" The terrified stu yelled looking over his shoulder at the large monster charging towards him. "SOMEBODY! HELP ME!"
"YEAH YEAH YEAH! I'M WILD! DIG IT!" Randy caught up to the stu just as he reached the treeline and swatted him off his feet. Then, using his left arm, he grabbed the stu by the neck and lifted him high up off the ground. "HAVE A LOOK AT THIS, PRIMA-DONNA!" He readied his right-hand claws to disembowel the stu.
"No! No! Oh, gods, Oh gods!" The stu whimpered. "Please don't! We were just improving this continuum on behalf of our master and creator! I'm sorry! Please! I'm sorry!"
"Apology…." Randy paused, then he shoved his claws right into the stu's abdomen and yanked his guts clean out along with a huge amount of glittery blood, ending the evil stu rapist's life. "Accepted."
Randy let the corpse fall to the ground. "Now where is his liver…" He dug into the stu's corpse until… "Ah! Here it is. Chow time." He dug out the stu's liver and began eating it.
"Is he…" Naruto pointed at Randy, looking shocked.
"He is." Lance replied as he put away the bear trap fist. "Best not to look, He's a bit of a sloppy eater in his true form." Then he looked a Shizune. "Could you help me get Tsunade out here? I want to get her readied to be sent to medical."
"Um...Okay." Shizune replied and followed Lance back inside the building. Just as they were about to pick Tsunade up to carry her outside…
The building, the stu lance killed and Tsunade all went *POOF* in a big billowing cloud of purple glitter. The cloud quickly dissipated leaving behind a grassy meadow, three coughing ninjas, an agent and a Hokage that suddenly regained consciousness, her clothes and her arms and legs.
"Wha…? Huh!?" Tsunade sat up and looked at both Shizune and Lance. Then she noticed her arms and legs were back. "My… Arms! My legs. What!? How!?" Then she looked at Lance. "Who are you?" Then she noticed a hairy deathclaw coughing up glittery dust. "And what is that!?"
"You okay, Randy?" Lance asked as he approached the still coughing hairy deathclaw. "What happened?"
"Dunno...COUGH COUGH… One moment his liver's goin' down my throat, next thing I know the rest of him went poof and now it feels like my throat's fulla pop-rock dust… HAK HAK!" He continued to cough up glitter. Then he noticed Tsunade. "Hey, when did her limbs come back?"
"My guess? Just after you inhaled his liver, Randy. I think reality was fixing itself once we got rid of the Gary Stus affecting it. You better drink something."
"COUGH… Right." Randy reached into his own bag of holding and took out a plastic 5 litre water cooler bottle. He uncapped it and drank the whole thing down. "GLUG GLUG GLUG… Ooo yeah, that's much better."
"Anyway…" Lance headed back to the four ninjas and took out his portal generator. He opened the portal to the station's medical wing. "Could you four please step through here?" He asked.
"Where does that go?" Naruto asked.
"Just our station's medical wing." Lance answered. "We want to give you four, especially miss Tsunade, a simple checkup before we return you to the hidden leaf village."
"Um… Okay I guess." Shizune agreed and they all stepped through. Lance closed the portal after them.
"So what's gonna happen to 'em?" Randy asked after he used his disguise pen to turn human.
"Routine checkup…" Lance answered. "Followed by neuralyzation so they won't remember any of this. Then they'll be returned."
Then he opened a portal to his own response station. "C'mon, Randy time to get yourself a silver manicure."
"A silver manicure?" Randy cocked his head.
"We're hunting vampires next." Lance walked through the portal.
"Why do I get the feeling they're gonna taste like feral ghoul?" Followed by Randy. "Yuck."
(The Mission #3)
(Station #3, Hadrian, Cassandra)
(Yotsuba&!, Daruma&!)
(Just outside Yotsuba's house, modern day Japan, Earth, early morning)
A blonde priest wearing silver Lennon sunglasses and a white haired nun with a fleur-de-lis tattooed on her right cheek entered a house in an unknown town in rural Japan.
Before we go any further, a little info on these two persons of the cloth.
1. Their home continuum is the grim darkness of the far future, where there is only war(and occasionally grim derp). Yeah, they're from Warhammer 40k.
2. The 'priest', Hadrian Fabricus is an inquisitor from the Ordo Hereticus, witch hunters basically.
3. The 'nun', Cassandra Augustine is an adepta sororita of the Order Of Reason's Light, an order in the Aproir sector descended from the Order Of The Sacred Rose.
4. So naturally they're agents working together. Hmmm, a devout inquisitor in the service of the Emperor Of mankind and a reasonable sister of battle. This oughta be interesting.
"What strange writing they have." Cassandra commented(in Japanese) on the Japanese writing on a newspaper she just picked up. "And yet I can understand it perfectly as though I've been reading it all my life."
"Not to mention this strange language we are now speaking in." Hadrian said(in Japanese too). "Clearly this is not Low Gothic. Yet it feels like I have been speaking this strange language all my life as well."
"Yes. According to this, I believe it's called 'Japanese', inquisitor. A local language in this region and time." Cassandra replied. "I hope I can still speak in Low Gothic or High Gothic. But right now, in keeping with our current surroundings, it appears that for now,'Japanese' is our 'first language'. This is gonna take some getting used to."
"So it would seem, sister. Well it does not change the fact that we are on Holy Terra." Hadrian replied. "Even if we are way back in time to M3. Emperor be praised."
"Emperor be praised." Cassandra repeated. "Hard to believe back then, it was quite nice and the air is quite clean. Reminds me of Dvi-Marion before the invasion of both the traitorous Gore Queen and that fanatical Inquisitor Damnos. It's a pity that Holy Terra in our time is now a hive world, yuck!"
" 'Yuck'?" Hadrian glared at the sororita. "I should consider that heresy…" He placed his hands on his hips and tapped his foot in disapproval. "If I did not quite agree with you. Sigh." Hadrian, like Cassandra was lucky enough to be born on a properly developed settled world. He had been to a few hive worlds including Holy Terra since he became an inquisitor.
"Still, even though you are a sororita from a loyalist, albeit heretical faction, you should not speak so ill of the Emperor's throne world." He shook his head. "Even if it is sadly true for the last ten thousand or so years. But for now, I do believe we are here to deal with some of Slaanesh's minions that are doing heretical things here in this… Continuum. What was its name again?"
"Yotsuba&!." Cassandra replied as she examined their copy of the doujinshi. "According to the briefing we got before setting off, it's a wholesome slice-of-life comedy featuring a very cheerful 5 year old girl that this continuum is named after. Only her name doesn't have an '&' or an '!'."
"is that so." Hadrian cocked his head. "Still we should do something about both her and her father, or rather their vile replacements, doing Slaanesh's perverted and evil will on that unfortunate young woman." He looked around. Now where would they be?"
"I think they might be upstairs." Cassandra replied. "Along with that unfortunate young woman they mutilated."
"Yes, let us check upstairs." Hadrian went up the stairs, followed by Cassandra.
As they reached the top of the stairs, they noticed a man entering a room. They approached the doorway and peeked inside. They saw the man and a teenaged girl missing her arms and legs.
"Hmmm, Let us see what we are dealing with here." Hadrian took out his field analyzer and scanned the two individuals. Starting with the mutilated woman.
Name: Fuuka Ayase
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: High school student
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Yotsuba&!
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing, Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
"Now the Gary Stu daemon.." Hadrian scanned the man.
Name: Yousuke Koiwai
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Work-at-home father
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Yotsuba&!
Canon Character
ATTN: 100% OOC, Possessed, Recommend exorcism to remove uncanon influence.
"Huh? Wait a minute! Didn't the analyzer say that he's a canon character and possessed?" Cassandra asked. "Oh, Emperor! This means we just can't kill him! He's being controlled by something else!"
"What do you mean we cannot exterminate him?" Hadrian asked. "Back in our…"
Cassandra interrupted. "My apologies. But we aren't in our own continuum, inquisitor! Here the rules of the organization we now serve, and this continuums we'll be sent into are far different than our own."
"Ah yes…" Hadrian stroked his chin. "I recall the medical staff made it quite clear that they do not like having to resurrect canons with their strange time warping 4d medicine. And the dispatchers (I am certain that the Emperor is one of their members) made it quite clear that that they will be very upset with us if we kill the canons for whatever reason."
"Yes it's best that we don't do anything that'll upset medical or the dispatchers." Cassandra nodded. "If I remember correctly, we'll need certain things to exorcise a stu-wraith from a canon before we can charge and kill it. Or send it screaming back to the Immaterium where it belongs at least."
Cassandra checked her bag of holding. "Oh dear, It appears I don't have what we need."
"What materials do you require?" Hadrian asked.
"A bell or an air-horn, some candles or road flares, rope or suitable restraints, wooden chair to tie said victim to, white chalk and the word of canon." Cassandra answered. "Which, in this case, is a comic book about this green haired girl. Namely 'Yotsuba&!'. I'll have to return to headquarters to fetch the stuff we need."
"So be it, sister Cassandra." Hadrian opened the portal to their station. "Go and fetch what you need and be quick about it."
"Yes, inquisitor." Cassandra saluted and gave Hadrian the comic book. "here." And she entered the portal. She re-emerged about a second later.
"What kept you?" Hadrian asked.
"Apologies, inquisitor, it took me a while to requisition the required materials." Cassandra patted her bag of holding. "How long was I gone on your end?"
"A second." Was Hadrian's reply.
"Really? Just a second? Honestly." Cassandra shook her head. "You made it sound like I was gone for an hour(Which was how long I took to get all this by the way. Most of that time spent trying to find a suitable chair)."
"Anyway, it appears the vile events depicted in this comic book are starting." Hadrian, along with Cassandra peeked inside. "Let us gather the charges for this."
Fuuka lay on her back. Her arms and legs were removed some time ago. The only thing she currently wore wan an MSX tee-shirt. "Nga." She opened her eyes to see…
Yousuke groping her breasts. "UHYAA!" She yelped. "Aaaaah!"
"Good morning, Fuuka Chan." Yousuke grinned like a perverted fetishist. "Today's gonna be a hot one, huh?"
STOP! WAI-! AAAH! NO! NOT THERE!" Fuuka begged in vain as Yousuke licked her…
(Due to the fact that Fuuka is 17 I'm not gonna describe what Yousuke does to her any further in this segment. I'll just focus on the agents reactions and the immediate aftermath on this portion of this doujinshi, Author)
Cassandra shuddered at the scene unfolding in that room. Especially at where Yousuke was licking Fuuka.
"Is he licking her...*SHUDDER*! Oh gross gross GROSS! That's just disgusting, icky, slimy and just plain wrong! EWWW!"
"What is even more disgusting that that child could not be any older than 17 Terran years, This is clearly underage content. Even before they get to the 'main event', this is clearly repulsive." Hadrian agreed, A disgusted look upon his face. "Clearly this vile stuthor that created this scene is a cultist of Slaanesh. Who else would come up with something this revolting."
"On that we can agree, inquisitor… *SHUDDER SOME MORE*! Ew! Eew! EEEW!" Cassandra continued to shudder with cold revulsion.
"I charge this wraith with making Yousuke mutilate Fuuka, and making him a disgusting pedophile and making my partner react like a squeamish schoolgirl if I may add." Hadrian wrote down the charges. In High Gothic of course.
"Seriously, sister, your reaction to what he is doing. Are you not supposed be a mature young woman? And an adepta sororita as well? One pledged to forever oppose the servants of CHAOS in all it's vile forms? Please compose yourself." He shook his head.
"Apologies, inquisitor." Cassandra looked back in the room and noticed that the 'main event' was starting. "Oh great, now he's got his you-know-what in her you-know-what. It figures."
Just then a little girl came down the hall and noticed the two agents. "Hey! Who are you two!?" She asked.
Hadrian scanned the little girl.
Name: Yotsuba Koiwai
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Preschool student
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Yotsuba&!
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC Under stufluience of wraith possessing Yousuke
"And what is your name? (Even though I already know it)" Hadrian asked.
"Me?" Yotsuba pointed at her face. "I'm Yotsuba Koiwai, pleased to meet you."
"I am father Hadrian and this is sister Cassandra." Hadrian introduced. "Your father… um, invited us over to tea. After we arrived we heard strange noises coming from this room. It would appear that he is clearly engaging in sin most foul on that unfortunate young girl. How long has he been doing this?"
"And when did he mutilate that girl?" Cassandra added.
"I…. I dunno." Was Yotsuba answer before the wraith's stufluience kicked in and Yotsuba walked in just as Yousuke, well, finished.
"Mornin'! you guys done with your morning sex?" Yotsuba asked.
"Yeah, we're done! Let's have breakfast!" Yousuke replied.
As he got up and pulled his pants back on, Yotsuba knelt down next to the gunk drenched Fuuka. "Fuuka, aren't you glad you don't have those fat legs anymore?"
Suddenly Yousuke stopped at the doorway when he saw the agents glaring back at him. Hadrian with his arms folded and Cassandra with her hands on her hips and tapping her foot. Both agents were giving Yousuke REALLY dirty looks.
"Wha? Who...Who are you?" A confused Yousuke asked.
"Good morning, sir. We'd like to talk to you for a moment about your lord and savior, the Emperor Of Mankind." Cassandra answered.
"My lord and-" A confused Yousuke started to say before…
"Lights out, heretic." Hadrian bopped him on the head with a shock maul knocking him out with either the force of the impact or the electric shock that briefly lit him up enough for anyone to clearly see his skeleton. Either way, Yousuke's out like a light.
"DADDY!" Yotsuba yelped as her father collapsed to the floor. "WHAT DID YOU-"
Yotsuba suddenly shook her head as though she was trying to clear it of something.
"Huh? What?" Then Yotsuba looked at Fuuka and became rather shocked. "WAAH! FUUKA! WHE-WHERE ARE YOUR ARMS AND LEGS!? AND WHAT'S ALL THAT GOOP ALL OVER YOU!?" She scuttled back towards the wall, looking completely freaked out.
"Inquisitor, something tells me that when you rendered Yousuke unconscious, you rendered the wraith inhabiting him out like a light as well, breaking its hold on that child."
"So it would seem, sister." Hadrian agreed. Then he looked at the still startled Yotsuba. "Yotsuba, your father is possessed by something evil that made him mutilate Fuuka, do… terrible things to her and was no doubt grooming you for a lifestyle of hedonism and debauchery most depraved."
"Huh?" Yotsuba looked at him somewhat confused. "Grooming? Hedonism?"
"Oh, my apologies, I forgot you are way too young to know of these evil things. But know that they are evil none the less." Hadrian replied. As he moved Fuuka over to a nearby wall. "Ugh, disgusting." He said about the fact that he had handle a violated girl still coated in jizz. "I will have to change and wash up afterwards."
Then he looked at Cassandra. "Sister, prepare the exorcism ritual."
"You got it, inquisitor." Cassandra first hog-tied the unconscious Yousuke to a chair she took out of her bag of holding then placed him in the centre of the room. After she moved the futons and other stuff. Then she drew out the chalk circle, hexagram, runes and the Aquila(Symbol of the Emperor) at the top. Then she set up the candles at all six points and lit them. Then she stood in front of Yousuke, air horn in her left hand, a manga digest of Yotsuba&! in her right. "Just say the word, inquisitor."
"Begin, sister." Hadrian ordered.
Cassandra blasted the air horn right in Yousuke's face causing him to wake up with an equally loud yelp. Then she smacked him across the face with the thick comic digest.
"Ex uncanon potentia! Media ASCII operatur in potentia cogere te!(Out, uncanon influence! The power of ASCII Media works compel you!)" Cassandra shouted in High Gothic.
She smacked him again. "Et abierunt, foetishism turpi spiritus, libidine, et pedophilia! Et virtute Kiyohika Azuma denuntiamus te!(Be gone, foul spirit of fetishism, lust, and pedophilia! The power of Kiyohika Azuma denounce you!)"
Then she gives him another smack. "Relinquere vas caro, servus Slaanesh! Imperatoris hominis et Sanctus Terra demanda te!(Leave this vessel of flesh, servant of Slaanesh! The Emperor of mankind and Holy Terra demand you!)"
The chalk drawing began to glow and the candles dimmed as Yousuke thrashed against his restraints, rocking the chair from side to side as glittery smoke billowed forth from his mouth, nostrils eyes and ears. The smoke soon took on a humanoid form resembling the person that it was just exorcised from.
"How dare you!?" It whined at the sororita in its high whiny voice. "How dare you force me out of my host! I was only just trying to make this continuum better! Why are you doing this to meee!? You meanie! You awful meanie!"
Cassandra just looked back at the wraith floating there, boo hoo, whining, crying and complaining. "Well… That was rather easy. Just came right out. I kinda expected a bit more resistance than this."
"A bit more?" Hadrian asked.
"You know; creepy voice, projectile vomiting, head twisting around a full 360, floating objects being flung at you, demonic gloating that your efforts are futile ect. and ect." Cassandra replied. "But he just came out, and now he's boo hoo, whining and crying like a trans-activist cafe barista complaining about the regular work hours he has to do and posting it on the vox network in the middle of the shift. Go figure."
"How dare you mis-gender me! It's ma'am you...you cis-gendered white woman TERF fascist!" The stu-wraith whined.
Cassandra shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well, can't complain. Anyway…" She took out her notepad and read the whining and crying wraith the charges.
"Stu-wraith that was possessing Yousuke Koiwai. In the name of the Emperor Of Mankind we hereby charge you with possessing a canon character, namely Yousuke Koiwai.
Making him mutilate an underage canon, namely Fuuka Ayase.
Making him commit underage rape on Fuuka Ayase Emperor knows how many times. Not to mention making him a despicable disgusting hedonistic pedophile fetishist.
Making him use his tongue to lick her… *SHUDDER*. Oh eew!
Making me, a battle seasoned Adepta Sororita, react like a grossed out squeamish schoolgirl.
Making the inquisitor write down the above charge. How am I gonna live this down?
Grooming a 5 year old child canon, namely Yotsuba Koiwai, to your disgusting perverted ways.
Being a stu-wraith and a disgusting pedophile rapist groomer fetishist on top of that.
Being in league with the CHAOS god Slaanesh.
And greatly annoying two agents.
I hereby declare you guilty of all charges and with this tome of canon, I hereby excommunicate you and banish you back to the Immaterium, never to return to corrupt this reality. Now shoo! Shoo!"
Cassandra waved the manga through the wraith causing it to disperse into nothingness.
"Nooooooooooooo! Not faaaaaiiiiirrrrrrrrrr" The wraith whined as it disappeared.
"And good riddance." Cassandra finished. "HUMPH!"
"I could not have said it better myself. I do despise whiners. They are so annoying." Hadrian agreed as he untied Yousuke. "How are you feeling, Mr. Koiwai?" He asked Yousuke. "It must have been a very horrible experience."
"Hah hah… You have no idea." Yousuke looked at Fuuka propped up against the wall. "Oh my god… Fuuka...What have I done to you?" He fell to his knees in front of Fuuka. Tears were starting to stream down his face.
"You were not in control of yourself, Mr. Koiwai." Hadrian replied. "It was that despicable wraith that did those wretched evil things using your body."
"I know." Yousuke said. "I remember everything it made me do to here. I couldn't control myself. Not to mention it was grooming my kid." He looked at Yotsuba. "Call the police. Tell 'em to come arrest me. I'm no longer a fit parent for her!"
"Daddy! No!" Yotsuba sobbed. Then she looked at the agents. "Please don't! I don't want them to take my daddy away!"
"Do not concern yourself, child." Hadrian reassured. "Will you two please step outside for a moment? I wish to discuss a few things with you while sister Cassandra tends to Ms. Fuuka."
"Um, okay." Yousuke agreed and he led Yotsuba out into the hallway followed by Hadrian who switched out his specs for ray-bans. Once he was out in the hallway he closed the door behind him.
"Now if you two would just look here…" He took out his neuralyzer and…
*FLASH*
"Now then. Mr. Koiwai you were never possessed by a wraith that turned you into a pedophile rapist child groomer with an amputee fetish. You never repeatedly raped, nor mutilated Ms. Ayase." Hadrian told the now neuralyzed Yousuke.
Then he looked at the also neuralyzed Yotsuba. "And you, Ms. Yotsuba, You never saw your father mutilate and rape Ms. Ayase. For he is not that type of person. Also you two never met either me or sister Cassandra. For we, and Fuuka was never here. Now go downstairs, have breakfast, go outside and have a nice normal day."
The two neuralyzed canons vacantly nodded and headed downstairs and out of sight.
Just then Hadrian heard a *POOF*, followed by both Cassandra and Fuuka going. "KYAAH!"
"What in the name of-" Hadrian opened the door. "By the Emperor!" The look on his face when he saw that Fuuka's arms and legs had reappeared and she was now completely clean and fully clothed.
Like Hadrian, and Cassandra, Fuuka looked completely surprised as she examined and moved her arms and legs. "What? My arms! My legs! Why am I fully clothed and I don't feel like I was just… *shudder*. What just happened!?"
"That's what I'd like to know." Cassandra added. "How in the name of the Emperor?"
"That is my line as well! Can you tell me what just happened, sister?" Hadrian inquired.
"She suddenly went Poof and was suddenly covered in a cloud of purple glitter dust." Cassandra replied. "And when it dissipated a second later, well you can see for yourself, her arms and legs reappeared and she's now more fully clothed and clean."
"Is that so. I wonder…" Hadrian used the field analyzer to scan Fuuka. "Well, according to the readout, she has reverted to her current and correct canon state and is once again a virgin. Very interesting."
"I'm a virgin again?" The slightly surprised Fuuka said. "You gotta be kidding me. Yousuke was… was..."
"Don't say anything more, Ms. Ayase." Cassandra interrupted. Then she put on her ray-bans and took out her neuralyzer. "Just look-"
"Wait, sister. I think we should take her to medical and have her looked over first." Hadrian suggested as he opened the portal. "Can you stand up, Ms. Ayase?"
"I-I think so." Fuuka gradually got back up on her feet with a bit of help from Cassandra.
"Please come with me. All will be explained and we'll return you once we're done with the checkup." Cassandra took Fuuka by the arm
"Um...Okay." Fuuka agreed and Cassandra led her through the portal. Then Cassandra returned.
"Well?" Hadrian asked.
"She got a clean bill of health, perfectly untouched virgin like me." Cassandra replied. "Then we neuralyzed her memories of that awful experience she suffered as well as any knowledge of us before returning her to her home."
"That is good, sister." Hadrian smiled. "But I fear we are not done yet. For our next part of our mission takes place in this very same country."
"Does that mean we're still speaking in Japanese?" Cassandra asked.
"It would appear so." Hadrian replied. "Hopefully our next target will be something we can kill with bolter or power hammer."
"Or in my case a power sword." Cassandra added.
(The Mission #4)
(Station #2, Lance, Randy)
(Hellsing)
(Somewhere in modern day Argentina)
Agents Lance and Randy emerged from the portal at a secret Millennium base somewhere in Argentina, South America. Both agents were disguised as members of Millennium. The key difference was Lance wore a Wehrmacht cap, Randy still wore his cowboy hat.
Not to mention that Randy was sporting a silver manicure under his gloves and a silver strip running across the bridge of his nose. Would you believe he wanted to have his nasal horn silver plated so he can gore nazi vampire stus.
Anyway it wasn't too long before they located their objective. A recently mutilated canon, namely Integra W. Hellsing. And she was about to subjected to a rape orgy by nazi vampires. The whole thing being MC'd by none other that the Major himself.
The Major clapped his hands. "My my, you always managed to move me." He gloated. "As expected of my sworn arch-enemy. You have my praise. (human sow) Fraulein of the Royal Order Of Knights."
"KUH! UGH…" Integra grunted as the nazi vampires began to rape her.
"Just like on the cover." Lance noticed that Integra had a swastika and the words 'sieg heil' carved into her chest. "And it looks like her arms were recently removed." He took a scan of her.
Name: Integra Wingates Hellsing
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Head of the Hellsing Organization
Homeworld: Earth, Great Britain
Home Continuum: Hellsing
Canon Character
ATTN;75% OOC. Limbs missing, severely sexual assaulted, Unknown drug detected in body. Canon breached. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
"Or we could just rip and tear apart the stus doing her and she'll poof back to normal." Randy added.
"That would no doubt work too." The station A.I., speaking through lance's pip-boy, agreed. "Speaking of stus, I suggest you should scan the nazi vampires and the Major just to make sure."
"Right, as soon as the get through the next 'page'." Lance said.
Speaking of the next page.
"Major, this woman feels pretty good." The Nazi vampire commented as he raped Integra.
"For a bitch who, up until a moment ago, a virgin that is!" Said another Nazi vampire that was licking her tits.
"NHUH! FUGUH!" Was all that Integra could mutter.
"Remember not to bite her. If you do this will all be for nothing." The major cautioned as the vampire Nazis continued to rape.
The Major continued to gloat. "I, the Major am a beloved character. But this is an erotic doujin, you see?" He held up his own copy of 'Mandaruma'. "So I will only appear as a voice from now on." He grinned evilly. "I emphasize with your conviction, men. That is the very proof that you are human."
"Hm! Spare me your opinions!" Integra retorted. "What you're doing here is nothing but your perverted fantasy fulfillment! Haa! Haa! AH! UGH!"
"Ha ha ha! Feel free to see it that way." The major laughed. "You should be well aware of the stamina that vampires possess."
By this point, Integra was now being double penned.
"I gave you those aphrodisiacs so that you could feel pleasure instead of pain." The Major reminded. "But I still want to know. After going through this, the most extreme of humiliations, Are you still worthy to be called a 'human'?"
While that 'page' was playing out, Lance scanned the Major.
Name: The Major(Real name unknown)
Gender: Male
Race: Human/ Cyborg
Occupation: Leader of Nazi vampire group 'Millennium'
Homeworld: Earth, Germany
Home Continuum: Hellsing
Canon Character
ATTN: Character is obviously aiding and abetting current stuthor and Gary Stus of his own free will. Do not kill! Capture and Bring to HQ for interrogation.
"Is it just me, or is that little dude in the specs getting a bit meta here?" Randy asked
"It isn't just you, Randy." Lance replied. "That little bastard knows. What's more He's in cahoots with the stuthors that created this pile of brahmin crap."
Lance scanned the major again. "All that tech. This guy's barely human. If he was ever one to begin with."
"Hey, I'm not exactly human either." Randy replied.
"That's a bit beside the point." Lance said. "Besides I've read up on the canons in this continuum before we came here. And that twerp over there…" He pointed at the Major. "Is a real grade A piece of shit. And the whole organization is practically a fucking terrorist death cult."
Then Lance scanned the raping vampires. "Oh good news, they're all Gary Stus. We can paint the floor with their undead glitter when the time comes." He began writing down the charges as the gruesome scene they were spying on continued…
"UAH, NO...NO!" Integra screamed as the pain began to overtake the drug. "CUH… CU-… CUMMING… UAAAAGH!" And then she passed out.
"Major! She passed out! What should we do?" One of the vampire Nazis asked.
"Pay it no mind." The Major answered. "Keep going. She'll jump awake soon enough."
"Can we make her suck our dicks?" Another one asked.
"Don't. She'll just bite it off." The Major warned.
"Can we take off her Glasses?" A third asked.
"No, you can't." The Major shook his pudgy head.
"Then…" The first vampire was about to say when…
"Aah…" Integra came to. The vampire Nazis resumed their raping on the helpless young woman.
"Stop this!" Integra begged in vain. Her face showing terror and pain. "I'll die! I'm gonna die! I'M CUMMING"
Lance looked back around the corner and compared the scene to his own copy. "Looks like they're on the second to last last page. Won't be long. Wait a minute…" He looked at the final panel on the following page. "Uh oh."
"Uh oh?" Randy asked.
"Something tells me that bastard's not gonna keep his word about letting her return to England alive." Lance reached into his bag of holding and took out his customized Smith & Wesson M29 revolver(Loaded with pure silver hollow point of course).
Integra now lay on the floor in complete pain and humiliation. "Hii haah." She gasped.
"Die?" The Major cocked his as he looked down at her. "Ha ha… We won't kill you, fraulein. You're my beloved arch-enemy. I'll make sure you make it back to England safely."
He chuckled.
"Despite having being made like this, having experienced this humiliation and holding on to these memories, You will surely resume your duties as the leader of the royal order of protestant knights and fight us."
Then he looked at the nazi vampires who were now eating Integra's severed arms and legs. "Without a doubt you will continue to fight us. This is why we respect you."
Then he looked back down at Integra. "Even if you end up carrying the child of one of us Nazis. You are indeed a wonderful arch enemy." Then he drew out his Luger and pointed it right at her head. And at that range, not even he can miss. "Well.. I pray that England will take you back in that condition." He pulled the trigger…
But instead of a *PCHEW* of a 9mm parabellum bullet going through Integra's forehead, The Nazi Vampires, the Major, and Integra heard the sharp *POW* of Lance's revolver as the .44 calibre silver round struck The major's Luger, blasting it clean out of his hand.
"Wh-Wha?" The major gasped.
"Now that I got your attention…" Lance, still aiming the pistol he just fired seconds ago said to the surprised group. "Let's just say I didn't want you to cause an EVEN bigger canon break than the one you and your undead friends already created, you little sicko."
The Major looked back at Lance. "An Amerikaner!? Who are you! How did you get in here!? And…" He looked at his damaged Luger. "How dare you!"
"Your worst nightmare, portal, and medical doesn't like resurrecting canon corpses that get capped before their time." Lance replied. "Anyhoo…" Lance took out his notepad.
"Major, you have been charged with aiding and abetting a hentai doujinshi stuthor.
Drugging a canon character with an unknown aphrodisiac.
And creating a massive canon break by killing said canon after lying to her about returning to England alive(Which I just prevented)
And being, well, you.
I find you guilty of all charges and you'll be coming with me for questioning. Once we deal with those stupires that the stuthor supplied you with. Speaking of which…"
He looked at the Nazi Vampires that were still eating Integra's arms and legs.
"You undead kooks are hereby charged with the uncanon rape and mutilation of one Integra Hellsing.
Eating her arms and legs.
Being Gary Stus, rapists, cannibals, and the undead.
And pissing me off
I find you guilty of all charges and I hereby sentence you all to, hmmm, well, seeing as you are already dead to begin with. Ah I know! I sentence you to be all reduced to piles of 2000 year old dust."
The Major chuckled as he rubbed his still sore hand. "Heh heh heh. Really now, Amerikaner. Do you have any idea where you are at? What my soldiers are?"
"Let me guess; Millennium HQ, and they're Vampire super soldiers." Lance answered. "And I'm outnumbered 'bout three to one. That about right?"
The Major was a bit surprised at how calm the agent was. "Ja, Amerikaner. That is correct. You should be afraid, very afraid at what my men shall now do to you." He looked at his Nazi vampires.
"Just say the word, Major. And he shall know terror and pain as we slowly suck the blood from him and make him one of us."
"Besides…" The Major snapped his fingers. More lights flickered on fully illuminating the room and revealing even more Nazi vampires! All of them leering at lance and licking their razor sharp fangs. "You clearly only have only five rounds left in that gun. And I have more Vampires as you can clearly see. And they are not afraid to perish in combat as long as it results in victory."
Then they all heard. "Oooooooo macho madness is coming for you!" Randy's voice. Lance looked back at his still hidden partner.
"Well well…" Then he looked back at the Major. "I'll see your Nazi vampires…"
The Major and his vampires heard the heavy thumping and felt the floor beneath them shake as Randy, In his true form, walked into view and stood next to Lance. Then he let out a snort, jets of mist shooting forth from his flaring nostrils.
"Gott in Himmel! What is that!?" The Major yelped, looking very surprised at the large hairy monster…
Along with the rest of the vampires. Especially after they noticed the silver plated claws and nasal horn.
Lance continued. "And I'll raise you a hairy deathclaw with a silver manicure and rhinocure. Randy?"
"Yeah?" Randy looked at Lance.
"Sic 'em." Lance ordered, pointing at the offending vampires.
"IN MY MOMENT OF GLORY! OOOO YEAH!" Randy roared and charged straight at the vampires and crashed into them with force of a runaway Mack truck scattering them like tenpins. OOO YEAH! DIGIT! I'M WILD! YEAH YEAH YEAH! OOO YEAH!" Then he started swinging his claws like scythes in a wheat field. Each swing slashing up a vampire with the equivalent of five silver daggers, causing the vampires to spontaneously combust into flames.
And let's not forget the silver plated horn. "GORE!" Randy gored another vampire and he also combusted into flames.
Two of them tried to restrain the deathclaw with his own incredible strength. Grabbing him by his arms only to realize too late that hairy deathclaws are way stronger than your basic artificial vampire. He just lifted them up and flung both of them to the floor. They didn't have time to react when Randy's claws came down on them.
Another vampire managed to get on Randy's back and tried to bite his neck. Only to discover that Randy's hide is like living kevlar not to mention pretty damn puncture resistant. Not to mention that biting him was just making him angry.
"HEY! ARE YOU TRYING TO BITE ME!?" Randy just reached around and effortlessly pulled the vampire clean off. "LEMME RETURN THE FAVOR!" Randy held the vampire by the arms and legs and chomped him in the abdomen ripping out his abdominal muscles, guts(and maybe a kidney) and flung the vampire to the floor.
Randy chewed on his mouthful of vampire flesh and guts for a moment before spitting it out. "Yuck! Just as I thought. Taste just like feral ghoul. Now where was I? Oh yeah." And he slashed the still gravely injured vampire. Bringing his total to seven.
And let's not forget about agent Lance. While he still had five bullets left in his revolver, he made sure none went to waste. Five vampires shot in the chest with silver .44 calibre rounds. Once he fired off his last round it was over. Twelve vampires reduced to twelve piles of 2000 year old glittery dust.
While all of this was going on, The Major cowered behind his chair.
"Well that takes care of that." Lance, using a speed loader, reloaded his gun. "You alright, Randy."
"Yeah I think so." Randy replied. "I hope I still have a reflection when I get back." He rubbed his neck where he got bit. "Little blood bug can bite, that's for sure. I wonder, did we get all of 'em?"
And right on cue, Integra suddenly went *POOF*. Also her severed half chewed up arms and legs poofed out of existence. When the glittery dust cloud cleared, Integra had a very surprised look when she noticed that her arms and legs had reappeared on her body, along with her favorite business suit.
"I'll take that as a yes." Randy said.
"Huh? Wha? My arms! My legs! They're back! How!?" Integra said as she moved her arms and legs, finding she had full control. "It's… It's like…"
"They were never gone in the first place?" Lance asked as he offered her hand. "Knight Lance Beckerson, Brotherhood Of Steel." Lance introduced himself. "And that big hairy bruiser with the silver nails and horn over there's Randy, A hairy deathclaw of the Pro-Rasslin' clan. We're currently employed by a 4th dimensional organization that cleans up messes like this."
"Hi there." Randy waved his huge right claw.
"Verdammt! Verdammt!" The Major interrupted, hiding behind his chair. "This isn't how it's supposed to go! If it weren't for you and that..." He looked at Randy. "That gottverdammt monster, Amerikaner!"
"Who are you callin' a monster?" Randy growled back. "Want me to mess him up?"
"Negative Randy." Lance shook his head as he pointed his gun at the Major. "We're not allowed to kill the canons no matter how tempting it is. Not to mention he's got more mechanical bits in him than a generation 1 synth."
"Yeah that probably wouldn't be good for my teeth." Randy replied.
"Just grab him for now." Lance suggested. "Before he does something funny."
"Right." Randy rushed at the Major who was now trying to pull out another pistol. "C'MERE, YOU!" The Major just got his replacement Luger out just as Randy grabbed him by the chest, pinning his arms to his body, making him drop the Luger and lifted the Major off the ground. "OOO YEAH! GOTCHA!"
"ACH! LET ME GO, YOU VERDAMMT MONSTER!" The Major yelled as struggled in Randy's grasp. Randy replied by roaring right in his face. "Ah! Okay! Okay! I'm shutting up! I'm shutting up!" The Major whimpered.
"Oh boy. You better not have that jerk soil himself, Randy." Lance said while he re-scanned Integra. "Well, miss Integra, looks like you completely back to normal. A perfectly healthy 22 year old virgin female. Man, you're tall." Not surprising as Integra is about six foot three (1.9 metres) tall
"I'm what!?" Integra gasped, looking totally surprised. "A virgin!? That can't be right! Those monsters you and that monster just killed-"
"Never raped you." Lance interrupted. "When we slaughtered those Stus, what they did to you was erased from all time. Like it never happened at all. By the way, how are you feeling?"
"I think I'm fine. I'm not in pain." Integra replied. "But… ngh. I still feel a bit fuzzy in the head, and my nipples and, um privates still feel strange. Like I'm still aroused."
"Yeah, that's weird." Lance agreed. "My pip-boy's still detecting the aphrodisiac coursing through your body. It should've gone away when you reverted back to your correct form. You'll need to come with us to medical to figure this out."
Then Lance looked at the Major. "And as for you, I'm gonna want to know where you got that aphrodisiac, along with your current association with the doujinshi stuthors."
"Foolish Amerikaner, you'll never make me talk!" The Major replied.
"Why do they always say that." Lance shook his head. "Oh we have way of making you talk. And some of those ways can get a bit, heh heh, messy." Then he looked at Integra. "If you want you can join on in."
"Really?" Integra asked. "And I have so many question I wanted to ask about you and that, um, beast that looks like he's dressed like Randy Savage. As well as this 4th dimensional organization you mentioned."
"And I'm sure they'll be answered." Lance opened the portal. "But I should warn you; neither you, or the Major will remember any of this when we return you two to this reality. Are you okay with that?"
"Well…" Integra scratched her chin. "Fair enough I guess." She followed the knight and deathclaw through the portal…
(The Mission #5)
(Station #1, Franklin, Naomi, Miranda)
(Bleach, wet daydream)
(A dungeon, location unknown)
"Are you guys sure we're in modern Japan?" Naomi asked as the three agents emerged from the portal.
"Well we sure don't look like Caucasians, that's for sure." Franklin commented on their current appearance.
"Yeah you definitely look just like Natsumi." Miranda added.
"And you look just like Miyuki." Naomi replied. "By the way, just what are we wearing this time?" Naomi examined her current disguise.
"Shinigami robes." Franklin answered. "I used to watch 'Bleach' back when it used to air on YTV before it practically became another Nickelodeon channel."
"A shinigami?" Naomi cocked her head.
"Basically Japanese grim reapers." Franklin answered. "They purify the souls of the dead and help them to move on."
"Okaay. I'm surprised these disguises didn't come with a spooky looking scythe. I thought we were gonna be the SIB(Samurai In Black) or something" Naomi replied. "Oh well, can't complain. At least I'm wearing normal underwear this time instead of those knickers. Man those felt weird."
"Well We all know how to use swords now." Miranda added as she adjusted her katana tucked under her white sash. "Could come in handy in later missions."
"I guess." Naomi replied. Between their last gig in 'Emma, A Victorian Romance' and here in 'Bleach', the agents were given extensive sword training by a renowned swords master that hailed from the Bleach continuum. "So now we have taken S.W.A.T training, Magical girl and (looks at Franklin) armored hero training, and now Japanese sword training. Whats next? Witchcraft and wizardry?"
"Right now I wouldn't be surprised." Miranda replied. "Never know if we have to do a 'Harry Potter' or a 'Little Witch Academia' fan comic."
"Huh?" Franklin noticed some approaching shadows down the hallway. "Back around the corner, girls!"
The three agents ducked around a nearby corner. Franklin peered out to see who it was approaching. It turned out it was two males.
The first male had brown hair. He wore white robes with a red waist sash.
The second male has platinum white hair and bore a sly almost foxy expression on his face. He also wore white robes.
The first man was dragging a woman with strawberry-blonde hair and(no surprise) her arms and legs removed. Not to mention she was also naked.
"Now let's see who they are." Franklin took out the field analyzer and scanned the brown haired man.
Name: Sōsuke Aizen
Gender: Male
Race: Human/ Shinigami
Occupation: Squad 5 captain(former)/ Leader of Arrancar army(current)
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Bleach
Canon Character
ATTN: Character is obviously aiding and abetting current stuthor of his own free will. Do not kill! Capture and Bring to HQ for interrogation.
Next Franklin scanned the 'foxy' looking man.
Name: Gin
Gender: Male
Race: Human/ Shinigami
Occupation: Squad 3 captain(former)/ Sōsuke's Right hand man(current)
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Bleach
Canon Character
ATTN: Character is obviously aiding and abetting current stuthor of his own free will. Do not kill! Capture and Bring to HQ for interrogation.
And finally, Franklin scanned the unfortunate lady they were dragging.
Name: Rangiku Matsumoto
Gender: Female
Race: Human/ Shinigami
Occupation: Second in command of squad 10
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Bleach
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
"Wait a second. Did the analyzer say that those two dudes…" Naomi pointed as Sōsuke and Gin. "Are willingly working with the stuthors creating this messed up fan comic?"
"They are, I'm afraid." Franklin answered. "Not only that, those two are supposed to be very powerful and skilled swordsmen. And our current sword fighting skills won't be enough to take them down."
"Meaning they'll take us down!?" Naomi asked and Franklin nodded. "*GULP*!"
"We'll need to take them by surprise somehow." Miranda suggested.
"I know…" Franklin replied as the three approached a door. "Just not yet sure how. Not to mention it look like the show's starting."
"Get in there with your friends!" Sōsuke shouted as he tossed Rangiku into the cell.
"Kyaa!" Rangiku yelped as the door clanged shut. "That hurt! You should be gentler with women!"
Then Rangiku heard another voice. "Rangiku-san?"
Meanwhile the agents watched the scene play out via portal large enough for them to see through but small enough to be inconspicuous.
Franklin noticed that the analyzer was still beeping. He looked at the screen.
"What's it saying?" Miranda asked.
"Two more unidentified detected." Franklin replied. "One female canon(mutilated) present in observed room. Must be that new voice we just heard. And an unknown Mary Sue/Gary Stu, location unknown." He looked around the corner at the two villain canons. "Now why does Sōsuke have his Kyōka Suigetsu out?"
"His what-now?" Naomi asked.
"His zanpakutō." Franklin replied. Naomi just gave him a confused look. "A type of magical Katana that contains a spirit inside. In this case It's a spirit that can generate solid illusions that can look, smell and even feel real."
"Okaaaay. And what about our swords." Naomi asked.
"I think they're forged out of something called Nth Metal." Franklin replied. "Come to think about it, our handcuffs are made of the same metal."
"That's the metal from the world of Thanagar in the D.C. universe that can cancel out magic and supernatural abilities if I remember right." Miranda said. "You could even physically handle ghosts as if they were solid if your wearing gloves made of the stuff."
"Is that so." Franklin scratched his chin.
Then they heard Sōsuke say "Shatter." Activating his zanpakutō's ability.
"Something tells me we should scan that sword." Miranda suggested.
Meanwhile back in the cell.
"Rangiku-san… You came for me..?" Orihime, woo was propped up against the wall asked. Like Rangiku, she was also missing her arms and legs and was completely naked.
"Wha-… Orihime..!?" Rangiku gasped. "Why… Why do you look like that?"
"I'm sorry." Orihime apologized.
"You don't have to apologize, but why?" Rangiku asked. Then she became suddenly startled. "Wha-..?"
As this 'page was playing out, Franklin scanned Orihime.
Name: Orihime Inoue
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: High school student, currently attending Karakura High School
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Bleach
Canon Character
ATTN: 85% OOC. Limbs missing. Suffering from Stockholm syndrome, recently deflowered. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical and psychiatric.
"That sonova bitch!" Franklin growled. "Damn stuthor's a paedo!"
"She couldn't be any older than fifteen." Miranda added. "Involving an underage canon in a rule#34 fan comic! This is just...Just sick!"
"No kidding." Naomi agreed. "I know that age of consent in Japan is 16 but still…" She shook her head. "This is just plain wrong."
Then the agents noticed someone appear inside the room. Not walk in through the door, just appeared out of thin air.
Rangiku looked up and suddenly saw Ichigo. "Why is...Ichigo here…" She asked.
Then Ichigo…(Due to the fact that Orihime is 15 I'm not gonna describe what 'Ichigo' does to her any further in this segment. I'll just focus on the agents reactions and the immediate aftermath on this portion of this doujinshi, Author)
"Well that confirms it. Just like you said, Frank, stuthor's a fucking paedo." Naomi said as the three agents the scene in the room unfold.
"And that boy doesn't look to be much older." Miranda added.
"You're right, Miranda, Ichigo's the same age." Franklin agreed. "I wonder…" Franklin scanned Ichigo. The resulting scan surprised him.
Name: Kyōka Suigetsu(currently impersonating Ichigo Kurosaki)
Gender: Male
Race: Zanpakutō spirit, living inside Sōsuke Aizen's sword
Occupation: Servant of Sōsuke Aizen
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Bleach
ATTN: 100% OOC, Replacement Class Gary Stu, Sword is a replacement as well. Eliminate and locate original.
"Well, I guess I should've known, especially after Sōsuke activated his zanpakutō." Franklin said. "That isn't Ichigo in there. That's the Kyōka Suigetsu spirit in there. Or rather, its replacement. The sword's a replacement too."
"Meaning?" Naomi asked.
"If it was just possessed, we could just perform an exorcism on the zanpakutō. However since the scan stated that both spirit and sword are replacements we'll have to destroy it." Franklin replied. "Trick is how do we get it away from from Sōsuke?"
"I'm sure we'll think of something." Miranda replied as she wrote down the charges for mutilation of canons, replacement of canon and raping an underage canon. "Not to mention how hard is it to destroy a 'Bleach' continuum sword?"
"I mean for all we know they're probably as hard to destroy as the One Ring…" Naomi added. "Hmmmm, I wonder if we should just chuck it into the fires of Mt. Doom?"
"Sauron's not gonna like that." Franklin warned.
"Fuck Sauron. Let him complain about his volcano poofing up glitter all he wants." Naomi replied. "Besides he's a bad guy anyway."
"Fair point." Franklin agreed. "Alright we'll toss that sword and replacement spirit into the fire to be unmade."
(I'm not going to describe what happens in this 'page' due to underage content, Author)
"No two ways around it, Orihime's definitely showing a serious case of Stockholm syndrome." Franklin said.
"And it doesn't look like she cares that this is all a trap." Miranda added. "Or for that matter I don't think she cares if that's Ichigo or not either."
"Charging for making Orihime have Stockholm syndrome." Naomi wrote down. "And raping of an underaged canon."
Back in the room.
Rangiku heard another voice. "You'll get it soon, Rangiku-san."
Rangiku looked over her shoulder and notice that the new voice belonged to "Wha-...Gin..?"
Only this gin was wearing his old shinigami robes.
The agents looked back around the corner, then they looked back in the room. "Two Gins?" Naomi pointed. "What the heck!?"
"Actually it's still one Gin. And he's still outside." Franklin replied.
"So that's another solid illusion created by the replacement Kyōka Suigetsu?" Miranda pointed at Not!Gin in the room.
Franklin nodded. "Don't need to guess who he's going to rape."
"Already charging." Naomi wrote down the charge. "'Cause that's what that asshole's doing to Rangiku."
"Gin… What are you…" Rangiku gasped as Not!Gin groped her breasts and wedged his penis in between.
"That Doesn't matter." Not!Gin replied. "The only thing that matters right now is that I want to be with you." Not!Gin inserted his penis into Rangiku's mouth. "So relax and enjoy yourself okay?"
"Ugh, wish I brought a bucket so I could throw up in it right now." Naomi did a two fingers down the throat gesture. "Gack!"
"Just you?" Franklin and Miranda added.
"Ngh…." Not!Gin grunted. "You mouth pussy is so good, Matsumoto…" He pushed it in deeper.
"Gin's… Kuh… Cumming" Rangiku thought as not!Gin… well, you know. "Semen…" She panted as Not!Gin extracted himself.
"Ugh. No how many times I see it, it still makes me sick." Naomi said as she shook her head in disgust.
"Something tells me you've seen this before." Franklin inquired.
"Yeah, I helped break up a secret pedophile porn ring that was run by LGBT+ activist elementary school teachers." Naomi replied.
"When was that?" Miranda asked.
"When you first went to Japan and I had Miyuki as my partner in the meantime." Naomi replied. The pictures that they were uploading… Ugh… Man did I ever blow chunks. Still makes me sick to this day. And the icing on that shit-cake was their web page was constantly playing 'We'll Convert Your Children' and it had pride flags, trans flags and MAP flags pasted all over the place. Yeesh!"
Then she looked back into the room. "And this kink-fest is no better."
"Matsumoto…" Not!Gin looked into Rangiku's face. "Do you want it?"
"What…? You idiot." Rangiku gasped back.
"You could become as happy as Orihime though?" Not!Gin asked as he looked at Orihime and Not!Ichigo still having… Well you know.
Then Not!Gin began rubbing his penis on Rangiku's privates. "Ah…" Rangiku gasped. "Don't rub me there…"
"You're so wet that your pussy's making lewd noises just from rubbing it." Not!Gin continued to 'rub', making loud slimy schlicking noises. "I'm going to stick it in all the way here."
"No… AH AH!" Rangiku yelped.
"Ugh. First in 'Emma' and now here? Why do those stuthors insist on making sex sound like a really loud slimy slug mating orgy?" Naomi said, looking a bit green.
"Naomi, that's gross." Miranda shuddered. "Just thinking about it. EEEW!"
"Oh. My bad." Naomi apologized. Then she looked at Franklin. "Frank if we finish this, there's something I wanna ask."
"I can't… take it anymore…" Rangiku gasped. "I'm going to go crazy."
"So cute." Not!Gin grinned as he continued to rape. He was thrusting so hard that each thrust sounded like a door slamming.
"AGH… AH… KUGH" Rangiku screamed with each 'door slam'. "AMAZING… IT'S GOING...SO DEEP… AH...AAH! HAA HAA."
"Is it just me, or is that Gin illusion making door slamming sounds every time he thrusts?" Miranda asked.
"It's not just you." Both Franklin and Naomi answered.
"And that's a charge too." Franklin wrote down the charge. "I don't think sex is supposed to sound like that either."
"NOOOO IT FEELS SO GOOD!" Rangiku yelled as Not!Gin went 'deeper'. "IT'S SO GOOOOOD!" And she came.
Not!Gin extracted himself and placed Rangiku next to Orihime who had just "finished' with Not!Ichigo as well. Both vanishing.
"Ah you're finally being honest with yourself, Rangiku-san…" Orihime gasped. "That's good."
"Ah...Kuh…" Rangiku gasped. "Ori...hime…" And they began smooching and kissing each other.
"It figures." Naomi facepalmed and shook her head in disgust. "They just had to make 'em lesbian lovers too. Charge for making canon straight characters queer." She wrote down. "I hate it when they do that just so they can get a boner (Lesbian shipping fanboys) or get wet(Gay shipping fangirls)."
"Yeah, I agree." Franklin agreed. "I don't like it when the decide to make characters that were initially straight become queer just to be either trendy, hip or stunning and brave. Or just to pander to a minority group. Or score ESG points and funding."
"Yeah, like they did with golden age Green Lantern(Allen Scott), X-Men's Iceman, She-Ra's Adora and Catra(and quite a few others) in that recent Netflix adaption." Naomi said. "And let's not forget Scooby Doo's Velma in 'Trick or Treat Scooby Doo' and that god-awful adult cartoon(on top of race swapping her, Daphne and Shaggy). Even the Google search page for her was was making a big deal of it with all that confetti and those pride flags. Yeesh."
"Tell me about it." Miranda said. "I'm surprised they didn't play 'We'll Convert Your Children' by the San Francisco Gay Men's Choir."
That made Naomi shudder. "Miranda, why did you go and say that. You know how much I hate those paedos." Then she looked back into the room. "And don't look now, but we're now on the final 'page' of the Bleach segment."
Just then Sōsuke opened the door to their cell and both he and (the real) Gin looked in on the results of their evil work.
"Fu fu fu… Don't they look happy?" Gin chuckled. "As expected of lord Aizen's Kyōka Suigetsu."
"Are you okay with this?" Sōsuke asked. "You could have just raped her yourself."
"It's fine." Gin replied. "Matsumoto is very precious to me, I wouldn't sully her."
"Why do I find that really hard to believe, Gin." Franklin now wearing his prescription ray-bans stepped out around the corner and into view of the two villains. "If she was that precious, she would still have her arms and legs and not getting screwed by an illusion of you."
"Wha-? Who are you?" A surprised Sōsuke pointed. "I don't recognize you. "Which squad are you from?"
"And are you here for us?" Gin swiftly drew his weapon. "Also how do you know me?"
"Actually, I'm not here to kill you two." Franklin replied, his right hand deep inside his bag of holding. His left hand resting on the sword hilt. "I'm just here to destroy that phony zanpakutō of yours, Sōsuke. Oh I'm going to bring you two in for questioning concerning your willingly aiding and abetting a stuthor and a replacement Gary Stu impersonating your sword."
"So you know." Sōsuke replied as he drew out the replacement Kyōka Suigetsu. "You know that this is a copy supplied to me by an other dimensional being to replace my real zanpakutō because it refused to go along with the his perverted plan."
"Yes, who would have thought that the real Kyōka Suigetsu had standards." Gin added.
"Then was it the replacement that hacked off their limbs?" Franklin asked.
"Yes he was." Sōsuke grinned. "And he was also raping those two bitches too. I wonder how would Ichigo would react once he learns that his girlfriend was mutilated and raped out of her mind. Now take your hand out of that bag. Slowly."
"Sure." Franklin pulled his hand out of the bag of holding. In his hand was his neuralyzer.
"A pen?" Sōsuke looked a bit puzzled. "If s that what you were reaching for? No matter. Any last words before we cut you down?"
Franklin held up the neuralyzer. Its red light facing the two villains. "Say cheese."
*FLASH*
The two villains expressions went completely blank as their grips on their swords relaxed allowing them to slip out of their hands and clatter on the floor.
"Miranda, handcuff Gin while I handcuff Sōsuke." Franklin said as he swapped in his normal glasses and pulled out a set of handcuffs.
"Right." Miranda replied and began handcuffing Gin's arms behind his back as Franklin did the same with Sōsuke. Then, after removing the scabbards, they put the two villains in a sitting position and handcuffed their ankles. Then they sheathed the swords and propped them up to the opposite wall.
Then Franklin and Naomi went in to the room and brought out Orihime and Rangiku and propped the two mutilated ladies up against the wall next to the swords.
Franklin handed her the portal generator. "Here. Set the portal for MT. Doom."
"Roger wilco, Frank." Naomi replied as she set the co-ordinates.
"So how long are they gonna be neuralyzed for?" Miranda pointed at the two handcuffed villains.
"I think the effects should be wearing off right about now." Franklin replied.
And sure enough Franklin was right. Sōsuke and Gin's expressions suddenly went from staring to normal. "Say cheese?" Sōsuke said. "Are you certain you wa- huh?" Then he noticed that was now sitting on the floor. "Why am I sitting on the floor? Wha-!?" And then he just noticed he was handcuffed by his wrists and ankles. "My hands! My feet!" He tried to break loose but found out he couldn't "I can't break these handcuffs! What is the meaning of this!?"
"That's what I'd like to know too." Gin added as he also had no such luck with his own restraints. "I can't break these handcuffs either!"
"That's because they're made from Nth metal." Miranda, kneeling down in front of Sōsuke answered. "And, just as I figured, Nth metal can cancel out magical and supernatural abilities. With those those on now, you're just two normal dudes in a heap of trouble." She tapped her finger on Sōsuke's chest for emphasis.
Franklin picked up the replacement Kyōka Suigetsu. He could feel the evil emanating from the sword as if he had just picked up the One Ring. "Replacement Kyōka Suigetsu, AKA Gary Stu, you are hereby charged with the following crimes against canon.
Replacing Kyōka Suigetsu.
Mutilating Bleach canons, Rangiku Matsumoto and Orihime Inoue.
First degree rape of Rangiku while impersonating Gin.
First degree rape on a minor, namely Orihime while impersonating Ichigo.
Giving Orihime Stockholm syndrome.
Making door slamming sounds and slug mating sounds (yuck) as you were raping Rangiku.
Making both Rangiku and Orihime into uncanon lesbian lovers just so your creator and his equally like minded friends get a boner.
Being a rapist.
Being a Gary Stu.
And pissing us off.
You have been found guilty of all charges and hereby sentenced to death."
Suddenly the sword began to violently shake in Franklin's hands to the point he even couldn't hold onto it. As it fell to the floor, The Wraith came out and smacked a surprised Franklin hard in the face, knocking him to the floor. Then, taking the form of its previous owner, began chocking Franklin with its powerful hands. Using its magic to paralyze Franklin, preventing him from drawing his weapon
"Foolish mortal!" The wraith snarled in a distorted version of Sōsuke's voice. "Do you think you can stop my master's bidding to better this reality? I will do what I wish to those bitches and everyone else to this would in the name of the 34th rule of the internet! And you cannot stop me, you meddling filth! Now DIE!" The wraith began to tighten its grip on Franklin's throat.
"WAH! FRANK!" Naomi yelped as she drew out her sword. "GET OFFA HIM YOU FUCKING CREEP!" She rushed at the wraith and slashed at it, cutting it in the flank.
"GYAAAAAGH!" The wraith screamed out in pain as it let go of Franklin. Its hands pressing down on the wound Naomi just inflicted as if it was trying to staunch the glitter splurting out. "How is this possible!? What manner of zanpakutō do you wield!?" It then tried to attack Naomi.
"Oh you want some more? Here! Have some more Thanagarian steel, asshole!" Naomi slashed at the wraith a few more times with her Nth metal blade. Each cut making the wraith scream in sheer pain.
"STOP IT! STOP IT! GHAAAGH! I MUST RETREAT! I MUST RETREAT!" The pain racked wraith retreated back into its zanpakutō to escape the sword wielding policewoman's wrath.
"Franklin! Are you okay?" Miranda offered her hand to the still prone mountie.
"*cough cough* I think so." Franklin took Miranda's hand and she helped him back up to his feet. "Thanks for getting that thing off of me, Naomi. I owe you."
"Well that's what partners are for." Naomi grinned. "Make me an extra plate of bacon snacks and we'll call it even."
"Deal." Franklin nodded.
Naomi activated the portal to MT. Doom as Franklin picked up the sword that moments ago tried to kill him. "Okay Frank, portal open! Cast it into the fire! DESTROY IT!"
"You don't have to tell me twice." Franklin looked at the open portal. "IN YOU GO!" And he tossed the replacement zanpakutō, spirit, sheath and all through.
The zanpakutō spun over the edge and plummeted hundreds of feet to the boiling lava below. There it burned and melted away into nothingness as the wraith inside screamed out like a banshee being fed feet first through a woodchipper. And then it vanished into a cloud of glitter and finally into nothingness.
"Welp, that's another one down." Naomi closed the portal and gave the generator back to Franklin.
Just then, both Orihime and Rangiku suddenly went poof. And when the glittery cloud cleared, both ladies got their arms and legs returned. Orihime was wearing her everyday clothes and Rangiku was back in her shinigami robes.
Naomi and Miranda helped them up on their now returned feet.
"Wha- what happened?" Orihime asked, looking both startled ans confused. "How did my arms and legs come back?"
"Oh that?" Miranda replied first. "Not much, we just tossed a Gary Stu that did this to you two down a live volcano. Oh yeah, if you were a virgin before this, that's back too like it was never taken in the first place."
"WHAT!?" Both Orihime and Rangiku gasped.
"My virginity's back!?" Orihime added.
"Well I suppose you could say that. Hang on a moment while I toss these two into the slammer." Franklin opened a portal to the station's holding cells underneath Sōsuke and Gin. "In you go."
Sōsuke and Gin fell through the portal and into their jail cell and landed in a heap right on top of the Major. "ACH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU DUMMKOPFS!" The Major yelled as Franklin closed the portal.
"Where did you send them?" Rangiku asked. "And which squad to you three belong to? I never seen you three before. Are you new shinigamis like Ichigo?"
"Sort of." Franklin replied. "We're really other dimensional agents charged with setting things right. As as for Sōsuke and Gin, we sent those two into holding. They'll be interrogated about their recent association with the stuthors that caused both you and Orihime to be mutilated and raped."
"And get mentally messed up and start acting like lesbian lovers." Naomi added.
"We need to bring you two to headquarters." Miranda said. "We wand to check you over and we need to get both you Orihime to our psych-ward so we can treat both of you for the mental trauma you just recently went through."
"Psych-ward?" Orihime asked. "Mental Trauma?"
"You were enjoying being mutilated and raped by an illusion of Ichigo." Miranda explained as she picked up Gin's zanpakutō. "And Naomi already mentioned the lesbian part."
While they were talking, Franklin was scanning with the field analyzer until…
"Ah there you are." He reached into the wall, his whole arm going through the wall like a ghost until he pulled it back out, bringing out the real Kyōka Suigetsu in the process. "Well I guess that's everything." He opened a portal to headquarters. "If you two ladies kindly come with us so we can get you two treated?"
Orihime and Rangiku looked each other for a moment, then looked at the agents. "Well… Alright then. We'll come with you. I kind of want an explanation about this organization you three work for." Rangiku agreed.
"Understood." Franklin nodded, knowing that the two girls, along with the two villains in the holding cell will not remember any of this once they are returned to their home continuum.
Just as well…
(The Mission #6)
(Station #3, Hadrian, Cassandra)
(The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006), The Girl Who Lost Her Limbs)
(The top floor apartment of a skyscraper building, modern day Japan, Earth, evening)
Agents Hadrian and Cassandra, still dressed as a priest and a nun respectively and still speaking in Japanese, arrived at the door to Chiaki's apartment.
Cassandra looked over the next section of their copy of the fan comic. She had a very disturbed look on her face. "To do all that to that poor canon… Emperor help me, just how much hatred does this stuthor have for that girl to come up with this?"
"Enough to make me wish that this time it is a replacement Gary Stu we will be dealing with, sister." Hadrian replied. "If it is, we shall see to that he will suffer terribly and painfully before he is to be granted his undeserved mercy in the form of a bolter round to its head. let us enter and get this done with."
"Agreed." Cassandra nodded and they entered the apartment. They soon heard what sounded like a young girl's orgasmic scream coming from the bedroom. They peered through the slightly open door to see…
Makoto was laying on her back. Her arms and legs were gone. Around her were several baseballs. She was completely naked except for a leather dog collar attached to wire harness designed to open her nipples wide open, the ends of which went around her back and were attached to her butt.
She was panting heavily after Chiaki had just finished raping her. "Hey, Makoto…" Chiaki panted as he extracted himself from her."Why did you tell on me?"
Meanwhile, Hadrian scanned the girl.
Name: Makoto Konno
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: High school student
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006 anime)
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing. Recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
Then he scanned Chiaki.
Name: Chiaki Mamiya
Gender: male
Race: Human
Occupation: Time Traveler
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006 anime)
Canon Character
ATTN: 100% OOC. Replacement class Gary Stu. Terminate with extreme prejudice. Don't forget to recover original.
"Just as I thought. Something we can finally kill." Hadrian said. "It is a pity that we have to watch him do what is coming further on to that girl."
"I know." Cassandra shook her head. "We have to witness him do those sick horrible things to her in that comic book to get the charges we need to press before killing him. Also we gotta interrupt the Stu before he does his final action."
"Oh?" Hadrian cocked his head. "What does he do?"
"He tossed her out the window." Casandra answered. "It causes her to leap back in time to before the Stu chops off her limbs. That means the charges won't stick."
"I see. Duly noted, sister." Hadrian nodded.
"And why did I tell you that in the first place…" Not!Chiaki pointed at Makoto. "What an idiot… Right?" Then he began inserting his hand into Makoto's…
(Because Makoto is 17, I won't be describing where the Stu inserts his hand into, Author)
"Hauh!" Makoto gasped.
"WE'RE BOTH IDIOTS!" Not!Chiaki began...
"AAAAH! STOP, STOP!" Makoto screamed out in pain. "I'M GONNA BREAK…"
"By the Emperor!" Cassandra gasped, hands covering her mouth. "He's actually doing it! Just like in that comic book!"
"Charge for mutilating and raping a minor." Hadrian wrote down. "First with genitalia and now with fist. Can you hear the hatred in his voice, sister?"
"I do, Inquisitor." Cassandra replied. "This stu's even worse than the one I exorcised from Yousuke."
"Such are pedophiles, sister. They are evil incarnate of the vilest degree." Hadrian shook his head. "I am certain that girl is no older than Fuuka."
"You're gonna break, you say?" Not!Chiaki forced his fist in deeper. "I'm trying to break you! So go ahead and break!"
"AH! AAH! AAAH, AAAH!" Makoto continued to scream out on pain.
"Just like my and your time, and this world!" Not!Chiaki pulled his hand out.
"UGUUUUH!"
"If you dislike it that much, just leap away." Not!Chiaki licked his fingers.
(Next Page)
"Hah haa hah." Makoto gasped.
"Oh, but if you can't run you can't do that, right?" Not!Chiaki rubbed his fingers on her nipple.
"Uah… Chiaki… No More." Makoto begged.
"No More?" Not!Chiaki flipped Makoto on her belly and picked up a baseball. "What The Fuck do you mean…!?" He used his free hand to pull open Makoto's…
"Ah... No!" Makoto continued to beg. "Don't do that… STO-STOP!"
"Inquisitor, He actually going to do it!" Cassandra gasped. "He's actually going to stuff her large intestine and her breasts full of baseballs!"
"I can obviously see that, sister." Hadrian, looking just as upset, reached into his bag of holding. He pulled out the portal generator. "Go to medical. We need someone who can extract foreign objects from her body before we can kill that stu." He gave her the portal generator."
"On it, inquisitor." Cassandra took the generator and portaled to medical. She returned a second later accompanied by a medical witch."
"What's the emergency?" Dr. Abigail Townsend (Medical witch, Harry Potter continuum) asked as she adjusted her glasses.
Hadrian placed his finger on his mouth to tell her to keep quiet as he pointed over towards the stu and his victim.
"Merlin's beard!" Dr. Abigail gasped as she, along with the agents watched as…
Not!Chiaki began stuffing baseball after baseball int Makoto's…
"AGYAAAAAH!" Makoto screamed out in utter agony. "AAAH!"
"You stupid bitch. This is nothing for you." Not!Chiaki continued his torture. "Look, it went in."
"Gah… Noo… HAAAA!"
"Charge for forcing baseballs up Makoto's you know where." Cassandra wrote down. "That damn thing's signing his own death warrant as far as I'm concerned."
"On that we can agree." Hadrian agreed.
"Let's try getting 50 balls in today!" Not!Chiaki continued inserting baseballs into Makoto.
"AGAAAAAH!" Makoto screamed. "Gihih! Chi...aki… I'm gonna die."
"50 baseballs!?" Abigail gasped. "This is just...just… I don't know what to even say!"
"Emperor on his throne this is so hard to watch." Cassandra said. "And I'm used to seeing cultists, orks, drukhari and tyranids getting turned into chunky salsa from bolter fire, fried to a crisp from flamers and melta charges or chopped into pieces by power swords and chainblades. And, yes, inquisitor, I did kill my fair share of heretic and xenos with bolter, flamer, melta and blade (and once with a street clearing truck fitted with a snow thrower) since I became a sororita. But this… this torture. I don't know how much I can take."
"You too?" Abigail looked at Cassandra. "Is this that you agents face in the field? And I thought the Death Eaters and you know who were bad." Then she looked at the stu. "Oh no! What's he doing now!?"
Even Hadrian looked a bit surprised. "Is that even possible!?"
Not!Chiaki was pulling Makoto's left nipple wide open. "This place is next, Makoto."
"HIH! NOO!" Makoto screamed.
"Don't you want bigger boobs?" Not!Chiaki sneered
"NO WAY! NO WAY!" Makoto pleaded in vain. "I'LL DIE!"
Not!Chiaki began pushing the baseball onto her nipple.
"AGIIH!" Makoto screamed out in sheer pain.
"Com on you can do it." Not!Chiaki replied. "My thing fit don't it?" He pushed the baseball into her left breast. "LOOK IT'S IN!" He declared.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" Makoto screamed.
"Oh, I'm am so charging for that." Cassandra wrote down the charge. "And, if I didn't know better, I think that monster may have previously raped her breasts before we came here!" By now the sororita was looking very angry. "I really wanna kill that bastard, inquisitor. Not to mention I wanna pound him into paste first." She slammed her fist into her palm.
"I understand your indignation, sister, but not yet." Hadrian replied as he reached into his bag of holding for his shock maul.
This page only contains gratuitous rape.
Cassandra looked at the comic book. "This is it, this is the page where he throws her out the window once he's 'done'."
Hadrian pulled out his shock maul. "Take it." He offered it to Cassandra. "You know what to do."
Cassandra nodded and she took the shock maul.
"If you hadn't chased after me back then…" Not!Chiaki continued to rape. "Things wouldn't have turned out like this."
'AH UAAH!" Makoto cried.
"You understand… Ugh…" Then he… well you know.
Then, after he was done, he opened the window and grabbed Makoto by her hair, ready to toss her out and to the street far below. "You understand what this mea-"
"RAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A new angry voice accompanied by running footsteps suddenly interrupted the stu.
He swung his head around to see a 5 foot 8 inch tall angry young woman with short white hair, wearing a black and white dress and wielding with both hands, a jet black 2 foot long metal shock maul rushing toward him.
Cassandra came to a stop in front of the stu and brought the shock maul down fast and hard on his wrist, shattering the bones in said wrist causing him to release Makoto.
The stu didn't have a chance to feel the pain when Cassandra followed up with another two-handed swing, smashing him on the right side of his face where the jaw met the skull, hitting him with enough force to send him flying across the room into a wall and causing several of his teeth to come flying out of his mouth like grenade fragments.
"GARY STU!" Cassandra snarled as she assumed a fighting stance between Makoto and the stu that was recently raping and torturing her, shock maul at the ready. "IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND AND THE HOLY INQUISITION! I HAVE COME TO JUDGE YOU!"
"I could not have said it better myself." Hadrian approached the still prone Makoto. "Doctor Townsend, you have work to do!"
"I know!" Abigail replied as she accompanied the inquisitor. "I have to get those friggin baseballs out of her. I can only imagine how much pain she's in. Probably makes the Cruciatus curse look like a massage."
"Pardon?"
"Not now! I have work to do like you said!" Abigail replied as she knelt down next to Makoto. "Hold her still, please!"
"Right, doctor." Hadrian held Makoto down by her shoulders. "This unfortunate young canon's name is Makoto."
"Who...Who are you?" Makoto sobbed.
"We're friends." Cassandra, looking over her shoulder, answered. "Real friends. Not like that disgusting thing pretending to be Chiaki."
Abigail looked at Makoto's pain wracked face. "Makoto, listen to me. My name is Dr. Abigail Townsend. I'm here to help you."
Makoto continued to sob. "My arms… my legs… He took them. Then he… he…"
"Say no more. We'll take care of this." Abigail replied.
"Get those balls out of her, doctor." Hadrian ordered. "The stu is yours, sister. See that he suffers!"
"On it." Abigail nodded as she pulled out her wand.
Cassandra approached the stu, repeatedly smacking the business end of the shock maul in her left palm. "You hear that, you pile of grox crap?" She glared at her intended victim. "You're mine. Oh you have no idea how much trouble you're in. No idea at all. Let's start with your NGUUUF!"
The stu gave Cassandra a hard kick to her stomach. If it had been a normal average woman she would've ended up flat on her back, wind knocked out of her lungs. But since Cassandra was a fully trained battle experienced sister of battle, the blow only made her stagger back a few feet and only slightly winded her. He got up and tried to karate kick her again but she managed to wrap her free arm around his leg, restraining it.
"LET GO!" The stu screamed as Cassandra dragged him off balance and caused him to fall back to the floor. He tried to kick at her with his free leg. "HOW DARE-"
Cassandra raised the shock maul and brought it down on his knee. There was a loud crack as the knee dislocated followed by the stu making an even louder scream.
The stu rolled on the floor, clutching his busted knee and screaming in agony.
"I dare? I DARE!?" Cassandra stomped on his genitals making the replacement scream. "I'm not the one that replaced the real Chiaki! I'm not the one that chopped off Makoto's arms and legs! I'm not the one that raped her vagina, anus and nipples! And I'm not the one that stuffed baseballs up her anus and into her nipple! Not me! Not the inquisitor! Not the doctor!"
While she was saying all that, Cassandra was kicking, stomping and pummeling on the stu with the shock maul. The stu rolled onto his belly and tried to crawl away from the sororita. But Cassandra kicked him in the stomach, flipping him on his back.
She dropped the shock maul and knelt down, pinning the stu and grabbed him by the hair, pulling his face up until it was level with hers "It was you who did all that to that poor girl, you wretched spawn of Slaanesh!" She pointed back toward Makoto, Pulling him around by his scalp to make certain he saw who she was pointing at. "IT! WAS! ALL! YOU!" Then she punched the stu hard in the face several times.
"Stop! Stop!" The stu begged. "Enough, please."
"Stop, you say?" Cassandra replied. "You didn't stop for Makoto. No matter how much she begged. I saw everything you did in this segment of this accursed fan comic. I felt the hatred and malice you put into every single heinous act you committed on that girl this night and in every single word you said to her."
Cassandra slammed his head on the hard floor and released her grip and stood up, glaring down at the battered stu with utter contempt. "So why should I stop for you?" She kicked him onto his stomach, picked up the shock maul and struck him on his lower back, breaking his spine.
She looked back over to her partner and the doctor. "Are they out? I wanna kill this bastard already."
"They have all been successfully removed, sister." Hadrian replied.
"And it certainly wasn't easy." Abigail added. "I had to use my muscle and nerve relaxing charms to greatly reduce her pain while casting Accio to carefully remove those baseballs. But in the end, as your partner said the baseballs are now successfully extracted from that poor girl." She pointed to a pile of smelly baseballs in a nearby corner. Then she disintegrated the baseballs with a reductor curse.
"Now put an end to the abomination that put them in there." Hadrian ordered.
"It would be my honor and pleasure, inquisitor." Cassandra dropped the shock maul, reached into her bag of holding and drew out her bolter pistol. "All those things I mentioned earlier as I was beating you, you are hereby charged with plus attacking an agent, namely me." She cocked the charging handle loading a bolter round in the chamber. "And I declare you guilty."
She kicked the stu on his back, then she grabbed him by the hair and dragged him up to the wall, propping him up into a sitting position. Then she knelt down bringing her face level with his. "If you hadn't done those things I charged you of back then, well things wouldn't have turned out like this." She tapped the barrel of her bolter up against his temple "You know what this means, right?"
"No...No, please!" The stu begged, as if he knew what that white haired girl had in mind for him.
"I shall now give to you a far more merciful fate than what you gave Makoto." Cassandra jammed the barrel of her bolter into the stu's mouth breaking off several more teeth. "I now give you a swift death. Amen."
*BLAM*
The upper half of the stu's head exploded in a splay of shattered bone, pulped brain matter and glittery blood completely painting the wall behind him.
"It's done, inquisitor. This monster is no more." Cassandra quietly said as she stood up.
"Excellent, sister." Hadrian nodded in acknowledgment just as Makoto and the now slain stu went *POOF*. The stu vanished from existence and Makoto became clean, fully clothed and all her limbs returned.
"Merlin's beard! Well that explains it." Abigail adjusted her glasses. "So that's why all my patients were showing up perfectly healed and in good health. Including that girl you brought in earlier, agent Augustine."
"Oh?" Cassandra asked as she picked up Hadrian's shock maul and returned it to the inquisitor.
Abigail began to explain. "When we learned that you agents were being sent into the Japanese fan comic 'Mandaruma', I had to get the medical staff prepped to reverse the effects of rape, regrow their arms and legs and anything else the stus hacked off. And provide the canons serious psychiatric treatment to fully stabilize them. But before long we had our intended patients showing up fully intact and quite healthy and requiring only minor to medium psych treatment prior to neuralyzation and return to their home continuum."
Abigail looked at the now restored Makoto. "Agent Fabricus, may I borrow your field analyzer?"
Hadrian gave her his field analyzer and she did a scan on Makoto.
"Ah just like the medical reports we made on the others. This young lady is a perfectly normal 17 year old virgin." Abigail said.
"Wh-What!?" Makoto gasped. "How!?"
"That monster I just killed was a 4th dimensional being." Cassandra explained. "When he died, all of his actions he committed since he replaced the real Chiaki were also erased from reality including…"
Cassandra showed the page of this segment. "This scene when you 'leapt back'? I take it you and that thing did it prior to him chopping off your limbs."
Makoto blushed as she nodded. "He just took my panties off and… well..."
"You do not need to say anything more." Hadrian interrupted. "For that too has been erased leaving only your memories of the evil he committed upon you. Now then, speaking of Chiaki, may I have my field analyzer back? I wish to locate and recover the real Chiaki before we can wrap this mission up."
Abigail returned the analyzer and Hadrian used to scan the apartment. Before long, he detected a plot-hole. He reached his hand through the wall where the plot-hole was hidden. "As so this is a plot-hole." He said.
"Is it anything like a portal to the warp?" Cassandra asked.
"Let us hope not." Hadrian pulled his hand back. "Well at least my hand has not turned into a writhing mass of spiky tentacles. That is a relief" He examined his still normal hand. "Now then…" He entered the plot-hole and came back out a moment carrying a bound and gagged Chiaki which he placed on the floor and undid his restraints using a combat knife taking care not to injure the canon time-traveler. "Chiaki Mamiya I presume?" He asked as He helped Chiaki on his feet.
"Yeah, that's my name." Chiaki replied. "And who are you? And what's Makoto doing here?"
"Chiaki? Is that really you?" Makoto rushed up and hugged him as tears began to form.
"Yeah, it's me?" Chiaki replied, looking down at the now sobbing girl hugging him. "What happened?"
"That's what we'd like to know." Abigail replied. "Can you tell us what happened to you, young man."
"What happened to me?" Chiaki pointed at his face. "Um… well, I was getting ready to go to the local art museum to see a certain work of art when suddenly I was grabbed from behind and chloroformed.
When I woke up I was already tied up and I was looking at someone that looked just like me."
"I see." Abigail nodded. "Did he say anything to you?"
"Yeah, I asked if he was a… Uh..."
"We know you are a time traveler." Hadrian said. "Both me and the sister are ones ourselves, from the late 41st millennium."
"Or is it the early 42nd?" Cassandra added. "Hard to tell, to be honest."
Chiaki gasped in surprise. "How did you…?"
"We have our ways, but do not be concerned of that." Hadrian replied. "I am guessing you thought he was a future version of you?"
"Um… Yeah, that's what I thought at first too." Chiaki answered. "But he told me that he was an other dimensional being sent by his creator to improve my reality and he had to take my place to do so. Before I could say anything else, he gagged me and had placed inside this… I think it was some kind of pocket dimension. I don't know how long I was in there. Was it days?"
"I see." Hadrian scratched his chin.
"Chiaki...sob… It was so horrible...sob sob." Makoto sobbed as she still held onto Chiaki. "That thing took my arms and legs...sob… and then he raped and tortured me...sob sob. I couldn't leap back… Sob… Couldn't undo it...sob sob."
"He did WHAT!?" Chiaki gasped. "Are you telling me that…? Where is he?"
"He's dead, Chiaki." Cassandra answered, her arms folded across her chest. "I should know, I killed him and he suffered terribly and painfully for his evil crimes against Makoto. I made sure of that."
"But if he did those things to her, how is it that she looks perfectly fine?" Chiaki asked.
"He was a 4th dimensional being. Chiaki. He didn't belong in this reality and he was warping it, twisting it to the depraved perverse whims of his equally evil master." Cassandra answered. "All the things he did to Makoto weren't supposed to happen in this reality. When I killed him, reality fixed itself and all his heinous actions were erased from all time as if they never happened in the first place."
"Now before anyone else can say anything." Hadrian opened up a portal to the station's medical ward. "We would like you two to come with us for a moment."
The two canons looked at the portal, then they looked at the inquisitor. "Do not worry, we wish only to give you two a simple checkup and psychiatric evaluation to insure that you are well following this rather, well harrowing experience you two recently suffered."
"Harrowing, inquisitor?" Cassandra said. "That's… putting it mildly. And I probably need some head shrinking myself after what I just saw. And I happen to fight cultists, orks, drukhari and tyranids no less. I hope they have a nice comfy couch."
"I am certain they do, sister." Hadrian said. Then he looked back at Chiaki and Makoto. "Anyway once all that is concluded and you two are well in mind and body you will be returned to this time and place to continue on with your lives. Do we have a deal?"
"You can trust us, we're the good guys after all." Cassandra added, a warm smile on her face.
"Well… Okay then." Chiaki agreed. "I guess we can go with you, seeing as you did help us." Then he looked at Makoto. "That fine with you?"
"Yeah, Chiaki." Makoto agreed. "I just want these bad memories to go away."
"That can be arranged as well, Miss Konno." Hadrian replied. "Right this way." He gestured to the open portal.
"Well I have to get ready for one more incoming patient." Abigail said. "I believe her case is about to be handled by Station #1."
The two canons entered the portal followed by the agents and the doctor.
And speaking of that next patient And Station #1...
…
(The Mission #7)
(Station #1: Franklin, Naomi, Miranda)
(With guest appearance by Cassandra Augustine)
(Big Windup, Momokan)
(Nishiura High School baseball stadium, Japan, Saitama Prefecture Modern day)
The three agents, in their normal adult forms and wearing their usual clothes(Franklin; white oxford shirt, jean jacket and pants and sneakers. Naomi; same thing but with a blue necktie and, a blue-gray varsity jacket with rolled up sleeves and penny loafers. Miranda; a 1950's style ruby-red swing dress with a calf-length full skirt and tan mid heel shoes), emerged from the portal outside of Nishiura High School's baseball stadium.
"A High school baseball stadium? Oh man this brings back some memories." Naomi said.
"You used to play baseball in high school, Naomi?" Franklin asked.
"Yeah, girl's team as pitcher." Naomi replied. "Some of the other girl's baseball teams complained that I was a trans-girl(even the ones that DID have trans-girls on their team). Took quite a lotta work convincing everyone that I was really a biological female from day one that was just crazy strong and fast compared to everyone else. And I was also damn good batter. I think I was a YouTube and Twitter meme for a while."
"I think you still are, Naomi." Miranda replied. "Remember that trans activist MMA fighter you challenged and beat to a pulp?"
"Oh yeah, When's that pink haired jerk out?" Naomi asked.
"I think about two more months." Miranda answered. "You did give him a monster concussion (and a cracked forehead) when you headbutted him, snapped three of his ribs (and almost his neck) when you gave him a bear hug suplex off the top of the cage, broke his knee when you put him in that figure 4 leg lock. I think you were a bit rough on him."
"Well it serves him right. He was doing the same sort of things to those other female MMA fighters and gloating about it." Naomi replied, hands on her hips. "Personally I think he only went trans because he wasn't cutting it in the male division and he wanted to 'stick it to the TERFS'. Anyway so about 'Big Windup'. I'm guessing it's one of those sports themed anime or mangas. In this case, given our location, I'm guessing it's baseball."
"Pretty much." Miranda answered. "It's about a pitcher named Ren Mihasahi, who just transferred to this particular high school. He starts off with some serious confidence issues but he gets better as the series rolls along." Then Miranda noticed a park bench nearby. "Wait up, you two I want to check something."
Miranda sat down at the bench and took out the laptop computer and the doujinshi. She brought up a wiki for 'Big Windup' and compared all the male character profiles to the boy in this segment of the doujinshi. "Hmmm… Let's see who you are." She asked herself.
"Something the matter?" Franklin asked.
"I thought we should figure out who it is we're going after first." Miranda replied. As she compared the stu with the canon pictures. "Hmmm… It looks like we're either dealing with a replacement or a possession of a kid named Yuichiro Tajima. Same short spiky dark hair, same freckles across his nose."
"Let's track him down." He took out his field analyzer and began scanning for Yuichiro. In moments the analyzer detected the target and the direction he was in. The agents followed the signal into the back area of the stadium. Before long, they came across a metal tub near some bushes containing a naked young woman about either Naomi's or Miranda's age with her arms and legs missing.
Franklin scanned the young woman.
Name: Maria Momoe(Momokan)
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Coach of Nishiura High School Baseball team
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Big Windup
Canon Character
ATTN: 75% OOC. Limbs missing, currently used as sex toy and why is she floating in a metal tub? Anyway, recommend rescuing and bringing her to medical.
"Yeah, why is she floating in a tub full of water?" Naomi said, looking around the corner.
"Wouldn't be surprised if it's another one of those stuthor's weird sick fetishes." Franklin replied. "Don't look now but I think the show's about to start."
"And me without a barf bag." Naomi added.
"Me too." Along with Miranda.
Maria floated arm less and leg less in a small metal tub, her head resting on the edge of said tub. She could barely hear the sounds of a practice session in progress.
"Center back." One of the boys called out. Then she heard a *BEEEEP* of a door opening.
"Coach." The boy who opened the door said.
(Next Page)
"I wanna rip his dick off… But…" Marisa thought as Yuichiro…(Because of Yuichiro's age I'm not going to describe what he is doing to Maria, Author) "He's the center piece of our attack strategy, I need him in the team."
"Oh geez! How old is that kid?" Naomi pointed at Yuichiro. "He couldn't be no older than Orihime!"
"Let's see what we're dealing with this time." Franklin scanned Yuichiro.
Name: Yuichiro Tajima
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: High school student currently attending Nishiura High School, Third Baseman on School baseball team (#5)
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Big Windup
Canon Character
ATTN: 100% OOC, Possessed, Recommend exorcism to remove uncanon influence.
"Did that thing just say he's possessed?" Naomi asked.
"It did, Naomi." Franklin replied.
"That means we have to exorcise the stu out of that boy." Miranda. Added.
"Yeah, something tells me that kid isn't exactly enjoying this 'ride' either." Naomi said. "Gonna need some stuff for this."
"What do you need?" Franklin asked.
"Just the usual stuff to perform an exorcism." Naomi replied. "Road flares, air horn, chalk, a chair restraints, and a manga of this here series to whup that wraith out." She checked her bag of holding. "And wouldn't you know it, All I have are the handcuffs. What about you two?"
"Same thing." Both Franklin and Miranda replied.
Franklin opened up a portal. "Better head back to HQ and requisition the stuff we need." He suggested.
"Got it, see you in a bit." Naomi entered the portal. She emerged a second later. "I got the comic book." She held up volume #1 of 'Big Windup'.
"And the rest of the things we need?" Miranda asked just as another young woman with white hair and dressed as a nun appeared through the portal.
"She has 'em." Naomi thumbed over her shoulder at the nun.
"You two must be Ms. Taylor's partners." The nun cheerfully greeted. "I'm Cassandra Augustine, adepta sororita of the Order Of Reason's Light. Pleased to meet you." She smiled and offered her hand.
"Franklin MacKenzie, R.C.M.P" Franklin shook her hand. "And the lady in red here is Miranda Kitteridge, L.A.P.D."
"Pleased to meet you." Miranda replied.
"And you already met Naomi." Franklin said. "I'd like to talk more but…" He thumbed over at the now possessed Yuichiro still doing Maria.
"I see." Cassandra looked at the scene in question. "That poor boy must be suffering. That lady too I suppose. Have you wrote down the charges?"
"Already doing it." Miranda wrote down the charges. "Possessing an underaged canon and making him mutilate and rape another canon."
"And we have to watch all this until they get to the last page before we can move in." Naomi said.
"Tell me about it." Cassandra sighed. "I had to watch a replacement hate-filled stu rape and torture Makoto before I prevented him from throwing her out the window."
"You intervened before the last 'page'?" Miranda asked.
"Had to." Cassandra replied. "Otherwise the speed of the fall would've caused her to jump back in time prior to her limbs getting hacked off and all our charges we collected against the stu would've been invalid, not to mention they wouldn't stick."
"Oh by the way, speaking of the last page." Franklin thumbed at the tub. "He just finished and left. Naomi go get him and haul him back here."
"Got it." Naomi went after the possessed Yuichiro.
Two boys rushed up to the now unconscious Maria.
"Semen is floating out from Momokan!" Yuto Sakaeguchi yelped when he noticed Maria's current state.
"Who the hell came inside her!?" Azusa Hanai added. "She's passed out!"
Just then, Naomi re-appeared. "I got the little twerp right here!" And she was dragging a struggling Yuichiro by the collar of his uniform. "And he was using this kid to screw her. C'mon you little asshole! I gotta chair I'd like to introduce you to!"
"A chair? Oh! Of course!" Cassandra realized she still had the wooden chair in her bag of holding. Of course her response also got both Yuto's and Azusa's attention as well.
"Huh!? A guy with glasses? And three ladies!?" Yuto gasped.
"And I think One of 'em's a nun!" Azusa pointed at Cassandra as she took out the chair. "How did she manage to pull a chair out of that handbag!?"
"More importantly, who are you four and what are you all doing here!?" Azusa demanded. "This is school property! You're trespassing!"
"So's whatever's possessing your friend here. NOW SIT DOWN, YOU!" Naomi forced Yuichiro onto the wooden chair. "Miranda cuff him to the chair!"
"On it." Miranda cuffed Yuichiro to the chair using the Nth metal handcuffs. "Just to be on the safe side, I'm using the Nth metal handcuffs."
"What are you guys doing?" Yuto asked.
"We're doing an exorcism." Franklin answered.
"Is that why you guys have a nun here?" Azusa pointed at Cassandra.
"I'm not the one performing the exorcism this time." Cassandra shook her head. "She is." She pointed at Naomi. "You do know how to do one, Ms. Taylor?"
"Oh yeah, I watched 'The Exorcist' and 'Repossessed'." Naomi replied. "I think I have the basic idea."
"Okay then, First we already have our victim restrained on a chair made of wood." Cassandra said. "What's next?" She handed Naomi the chalk
"Well I guess I should draw a circle with that chalk." Naomi replied.
"Correct." Cassandra nodded.
Then Naomi looked at the ground. "Um. I don't know if I can draw on dirt."
"Oh don't worry about that." Cassandra replied. "When I first got this chalk, I was told that is was magical chalk from doctor Townsend's home continuum. Can write on any surface, even water. Or so they told me."
"Oh yeah, she's from 'Harry Potter'. Well let's see if it works." And Naomi drew out the chalk circle and hexagram around the possessed Yuichiro. Then she drew in the runes, concluding by drawing in the crucifix. "Well what do ya know, it does work on dirt."
"See." Cassandra smiled, then she looked at the crucifix that Naomi just drew. "A lower-case 't'? And below that the word 'INRI'?" Cassandra asked. "Is that the symbol of your faith?"
"I'll explain later." Naomi replied. "So that just leaves…"
"Her you go." Cassandra gave Naomi the road flares. "You know where to put 'em."
Naomi nodded and she lace the road flares, one at each point of the hexagram. After she lit them she approached Yuichiro, manga on one and the air horn in the other.
Yuichiro looked at the manga in her hand. He suddenly had an expression of realization on his young face.
And so did Miranda as she was checking her laptop on performing exorcisms. "Naomi, I think you've forgotten an important step!"
"Huh?" Naomi turned to face her partner.
"Well, You've done all the pre-ritual steps correctly, but you missed one. The host must be rendered unconscious during the procedure. We didn't do that."
"So? What harm could it do?" Naomi asked.
"Yes, what harm indeed, fool." Yuichiro said, but his voice sounded distorted and twisted. Naomi turned back to notice that Yuichiro's face looked a bit, well demonic. "HEE hee hee! I know who you are the moment I saw that manga in your hand, foolish woman. You're an agent from those accursed flowers aren't you?"
"Flowers?" Naomi looked confused.
"I never thought I'd see the day you fools would actually start doing hentai doujinshis." The wraith possessing Yuichiro replied. "Don't you meddling agents normally do fan-fiction?"
"No matter, you were fools to leave my host conscious before you started." The wraith continued to gloat. "Let me show you why." He opened his mouth really wide and…
"BLLEEEAAAAHHHHH!"
"WAAAAAAH!" Naomi had to frantically scramble out of the way as the wraith began projectile vomiting a sickly green spray of bile and half digested food at her.
"EVERYONE WATCH OUT!" Franklin yelled out as the agents and the two students also scrambled to avoid the foul vomit spray.
"EEEEK! NAOMI! DON'T POINT HIM AT MEE!" Miranda, along with Cassandra ducked around a corner, almost getting hit. "Oh EEEW! That puke smells awful."
"And it looks even worse! EEEW!" Cassandra added.
"HA HA HA! What's the matter? Don't like what I ate?" The wraith, still speaking in Yuichiro's distorted voice said. "Plenty more where that came from! BLLEEEAAAAHHHHH!" The wraith launched another spray of vomit at the agents and students. Keeping them behind cover.
"Yuichiro! What the hell has gotten into you!?" Azusa peered out and shouted.
"Why I did." The wraith glared back a Azusa with its yellowed eyes and twisted ugly face. "I control this boy now, fools. I can do whatever I want with him." As he was saying that, he was rotating his head around a good 360 degrees. "Well what my master wants him to do and I take great pleasure in doing his foul wishes. Like chopping of that bitch's arms and legs over there."
He glared over at the tub with maria in only now it was filled up with green puke.
"Ooo, need to be a bit more careful with my aim there." The wraith commented. "Ah no matter. I'm sure my master is a vomit fetishist as well as an amputee fetishist. I know I am. MWA HA HA HA HA! Oh yeah I also take great pleasure in screwing her and making you two idiots think it's perfectly normal."
Both Yuto and Azusa were now looking surprised. "WHAT!?" They both said.
"You two didn't realize that that asshole was stufluencing you!?" Naomi looked over at the two surprised students. "Why am I not surprised!"
"Naomi!" Cassandra called out. "You have to knock him out in order to commence the ritual!"
"But the puke he was upchucking at us!" Naomi objected.
"I'm certain he used it all up by now!" Cassandra replied. "GO! But watch out for flying objects!"
"Oh! Thanks for reminding me of that." The wraith replied as Naomi rushed back towards the wraith. "EAT THIS, BITCH!" the wraith began telekineticly throw baseballs, bats, buckets, rakes, batting helmets and catcher's gear at Naomi.
"YEOW! HEY WATCH IT! OW!" Naomi yelped as she tried to dodge the floating objects being flung at her, but still getting hit and knocked down a few times. "ACK! OH YOU AND YOUR BIG MOUTH, CASSANDRA! OW! OW! STOP HITTING ME, YOU JACKASS!"
"Sorry." Cassandra whimpered.
"You have no hope against me!" The wraith continued to gloat while hurtling baseball equipment at everyone. "Your pathetic efforts are futile! This boy, his friends, that arm less bitch(that I screwed and puked on), this whole continuum is MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE! And you're not taking it from either me or my master! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Naomi, as she was getting back up, managed to grab a baseball bat that was hurtling at her. "THAT'S IT! MY TURN!" And she began to use the baseball bat to deflect all the equipment being thrown at her. Eventually, she managed to deflect a baseball right back at the wraith, hitting him on the forehead knocking both him and Yuichiro out.
"YUICHIRO!" Both Yuto and Azusa yelled as they saw their team mate get K.O'd.
"HAH! GOTCHA!" Naomi triumphantly cheered as all the floating equipment all suddenly fell to the ground. "Oh man, that little creep can hit. Okay, the wraith's unconscious. Guess it's safe to start the exorcism now."
"I hope so." Franklin said as he, along with Miranda, Cassandra and the students emerged from cover. "I don't want to have to go through that again."
"Especially the projectile vomiting." Miranda added. "That thing almost ruined my dress." Then she suddenly heard her shoes suddenly make a sticky splutching sound. She looked down and suddenly…
"Huh? *SHUDDER* Oh EWW! I think I stepped in some of it!" She tried to shake the sticky slimy puke off her shoes, making her skirt rustle and swish. "EWW! Sticky! Sticky! This stuff's like really smelly glue! Oh gross!" She was understandably looking pretty squicked out as she continued to try and shake off the sticky vomit. "Oh ew ew eew EWW! My beautiful shoes!"
Naomi, after redrawing the circle and placing and lighting new road flares approach Yuichiro, whose face had returned to normal, except for the reddish impression of a baseball on his forehead and both his eyes now resembled swirls. "Okay, do I start with the air horn or the manga?"
"Air horn." Cassandra answered. "To startle the wraith and throw it off balance. The proceed to strike it about the head and face with the word of canon. Make sure to invoke the names of the author and publishing company as you demand it to leave its host."
"What about my lord and savior?" Naomi asked.
"Why not. Invoke his name as well." Cassandra shrugged. "I know I did with mine, The Emperor Of Mankind. Also if you can speak a holy language(like High Gothic for ex.), do that as well. I think that strengthens the power of the exorcism."
"Really? And I know just the lingo. It was taught at my alma mater I attended before I became a cop." Naomi looked down at the unconscious student, placed the air horn next to his ear and…
*BAAAAAARRRRRRMMMMMMP* (Basically it sounds like an air horn of a semi-truck, Author)
"WHA-!?" Yuichiro woke with a sudden jolt.
And Naomi began the ritual, smacking Yuichiro across the face with the manga digest. "Ex eo uncanon potentia!(Get out of him, uncanon influence!)"
*SMACK* "Percute via spiritus amputee fetishism!(Hit the road, spirit of amputee fetishism!)"
*SMACK* "Scram, stultus sexus obsessi involuti sumus!(Scram, you stupid sex obsessed wraith!)"
*SMACK* "Asa Higuchi cogere te in potentia!(The power of Asa Higuchi compel you!)"
*SMACK* "Quod virtus Kodansha rejiciunt tibi!(The power of Kodansha reject you!)"
*SMACK* "Et virtute Iesu Ben-Joseph denuntiamus te!(And the power of Jesus Ben-Joseph denounce you!)"
*SMACK SMACK SMACK* "Ex ego dico! EX! EX! ET PERIIT!(Out, I say! OUT! OUT! AND BE GONE!)"
You could only imagine the look on Cassandra's face as she watched Naomi perform the exoticism. "She… She can speak… In High Gothic!? But… But how!?"
Before anyone can answer, the chalk circle began to glow and Yuichiro began thrashing against his restraints. Wisps of glittery smoke start to emanate from his mouth, nostrils, eyes and ears. Naomi give Yuichiro one more smack with the manga and wisps quickly become a billowing torrent of smoke.
The smoke took on the form of the host it was just kicked out of and began to…
Well what did you expect? It began whining and crying.
"Noooooooooo! How could you, you… You TERF! You fascist! You cis-gendered straight white birthing person! I was only trying to make this continuum better, you meanie!"
Naomi just looked it practically pikachu faced. "I don't believe this. I didn't realize those things act like whiny woke activists when they don't get their way. As if I didn't already have to put up with this childish entitled stupid behavior back in L.A."
"Me too, Naomi." Miranda agreed. "Me too."
"This happen with your wraith?" Franklin asked.
"Yes, constable MacKenzie." Cassandra answered. "I have a question; What's a TERF? The wraith that I exorcised called me that too."
"We'll explain later." Franklin replied. "Naomi, press the charges and get rid if that thing."
"No need to tell me twice." Naomi took out her notepad and looked up at the wraith floating above Yuichiro.
"Stu-Wraith, you are hereby charged with the following crimes against canon;
Taking over Yuichiro Tajima and making him mutilate Maria Momoe and use her as a sex-toy.
Stufluencing both… Um what are your names?" She asked both Yuto and Azusa.
"I'm Yuto Sakaeguchi." Yuto pointed at his face.
"And I'm Azusa Hanai." Azusa added, doing the same gesture.
"Thanks, now where was I? Oh yeah." Naomi resumed charging the still whining wraith.
"Stufluencing both Yuto Sakaeguchi and Azusa Hanai into thinking that this is normal.
Doing seriously creepy things with Yuichiro like making his face look gross, twisting his head around a full 360, and speaking in a demonic voice.
Attacking agents with both vomit and various floating objects! That hurt, you know!
Dirtying my partners shoes with your vomit and making her act like a grossed out 1950s young lady.
Being a wraith.
Being a Gary Stu.
And currently acting like a whiny spoiled child, calling me a TERF and pissing me off.
As far as I'm concerned, you are so guilty and I'm gonna throw this book at you! TAKE THAT!"
Naomi tossed the manga at the floating wraith and it stuck in him like a throwing knife.
"NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!" The wraith wailed as it began to vanish into nothingness. "THE VOID! THE VOI-" It finally vanished into oblivion and the manga fell to the ground. Naomi picked up the manga, casually dusted it off and tucked it into her bag of holding.
"And don't come back." Naomi said. Then she looked at Yuichiro. "Now then, let's get you outta those." She uncuffed Yuichiro from the chair. "Hey, you okay there, kid?" She asked as she helped Yuichiro to his feet.
"What have I done?" Yuichiro began to shiver, rubbing his upper arms as though it suddenly got really cold. "Oh god! What did I do to Momokan?"
"You couldn't help it, Mr. Tajima." Cassandra replied. "It was that wraith that was making you do all it."
"I know. I was aware of all the things it made me do." Yuichiro began to sob. "I couldn't control myself… Sob… It made me chop off Momokan's arms and legs! It made me rape her! And how that thing felt as it controlled me like I was some kind of puppet. *shiver shiver shiver* It felt so… so… *shiver*. How do I describe it?… *shiver some more*. It felt so cold and filthy. Like I was was drowning in liquefied cow manure while being smothered by maggots and slugs. It felt it was oozing into every pore in my skin. Slowly seeping into my soul. Is this what pure evil feels like?"
All four agents looked at each other. Then they looked back at the still shivering canon.
"Eww. I didn't need to hear that." Naomi said looking a bit green.
"Ugh, why do I get the feeling you were describing one of Nurgle's favorite stews, Mr. Tajima." Cassandra added, looking even greener.
Miranda just shuddered.
"Pure evil, Yuichiro? I guess it does." Was Franklin's answer. "And right now, seeing as we just got rid of that wrath, reality's fixing itself from the point the wraith took you over to right about…"
*POOF*
"Now. And Maria is now back to her correct state." Franklin finished as he and everyone else looked at Maria, Whose baseball uniform and limbs had returned and she was looking a bit surprised. Not only that, the vomit the wraith was spewing up also poofed out of existence as well leaving both Maria's body and Miranda's shoes perfectly clean.
"Oh thank goodness." Miranda sighed as she looked down at her now clean shoes. "I thought I was going to replace these."
Then she looked at Yuichiro who was still trembling with revulsion. "Franklin I think we should bring that boy to the psych ward." She suggested.
"I agree." Franklin nodded. "Considering what he said earlier, He could provide us with quite a bit of info on what it's like to be possessed. Not to mention it's clear to me that he's completely shaken up like a bag of trail mix. It might take more than just neuralyzation to set him right."
"Also we'll need to bring Maria to medical." Naomi added as she helped Maria out of the tub. "Hey, you feeling okay?" She asked.
"I...I think so." Maria replied. "What just happened to me?"
"Um, right. Okay, a wraith that didn't belong in this reality took over that kid over there." Naomi pointed at Yuichiro. "Chopped off your limbs and was making him screw you in a tub of water, And it was making those two…"
She pointed at Yuto and Azusa. "Think it was normal. Then we came along, kicked that stupid wraith outta that kid and this reality and with that thing gone, reality restored itself back to its correct state. Which includes you having all four limbs attached to your body. You following?"
"Uhhh…" Maria looked at Naomi with a completely puzzled look on her face.
"Yeah, I know, it's a lot to take in. Believe me." Naomi replied.
"Okay, I think." Maria said. "This is a lot to take in. So just who are you people anyway?"
Franklin opened a portal. "We'll explain, but on one condition. Could you and Yuichiro please step through the portal?"
Maria and Yuichiro looked at the glowing portal.
Franklin continued. "Don't worry it just leads to our medical facilities. We want to give both you and Yuichiro a medical exam and psychiatric evaluation and, believe mt, that poor kid needs it after what he's been put through. And after that, we'll return you both back here."
"Um okay." Maria nodded. "Come on, Yuichiro." and both she and Yuichiro entered the portal.
Then Franklin closed the portal and put on his ray bans. Naomi and Miranda did the same.
Franklin took out his neuralyzer. "Yuto, Azusa, could you please look here?"
"Huh?" Yuto pointed at the neuralyzer. "What kind of a pen is-"
*FLASH*
(Post Mission)
(Station #1)
Franklin had just finished typing out his final report for this mission. "Alright, off you go." And he pressed 'send'. "Well that takes care of that, girls."
"Replacement Gary Stus, replacement magical sword and a wraith. That was a lotta work." Naomi said as she leaned back on the couch.
"I just hope we don't have to deal with another wraith." Miranda said as she poured herself a glass of milk. "I mean all that sticky...*shudder*."
"Imagine what that poor kid must have been going through, Miranda." Naomi replied looking over her shoulder. "Hope he'll be okay before he's sent back." Then she turned her attention to Franklin. "Frank, remember what I said earlier when we were in 'Bleach'?"
Franklin swiveled his chair around to look at Naomi. "Yeah, you wanted to talk to me about something back there. So what is it?"
"Well, Frank…" Naomi leaned forward slightly. "Do we really need to watch the whole thing play out just so we can get the charges?"
"Oh?" Franklin cocked his head.
"I mean if we got our hands on the offending doujinshi affecting that continuum. Couldn't we just charge and eliminate the Stus or Sues based on what's in the doujinshi in question rather than wait for the whole thing to play out before moving in?"
"Do you think we should?" Franklin asked. "That's a pretty good question."
"Indeed, agent Mr. MacKenzie." The A.I. chimed in. "You could, should the situation calls for it. Say if a canon was going to be killed. Or, or in the case with 'The Girl Who Leapt Through Time', The agents would be rendered unable to press the necessary charges prior to eliminating the Stu or Sue, 4th dimensional physics and what not. Otherwise you must witness the main charge, namely uncanon sex or rape play out."
"That sucks." Naomi shook her head.
"I know. But don't forget, one the offending Stu or Sue is properly charged and terminated, the continuum will revert back to normal and you only need to neuralyze the canons. Bringing them to either medical or psych ward is optional." The A.I. reminded.
"Also, we understand that you, as well as agent Augustine had to perform exorcisms on some affected canons, agent Taylor." The A.I. said.
"Yeah, we did." Naomi replied.
"I see." The A.I. replied. "Just to remind you that you do not need to use a holy language, nor invoke the name of your deity(or half-deity in your case) when performing an exorcism. Normal language, author and publisher will do."
"Okay." Naomi nodded. "Well it's not easy speaking in Latin. And that reminds me." Naomi stood up. "I want to go talk to Cassandra. She seems to think I know something called 'High Gothic'. I'll see you guys later." She headed towards the door.
"I'll have that extra plate of bacon snacks ready for you when you get back." Franklin said as Naomi exited.
"Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light
Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down ."
End Mission 2
Author's notes:
Well, yeah, I did say I was going to send my crew into hentai doujinshis to bust 'em to hell and gone and that's what I did.
Keep in mind this isn't the first time I went after hentai doujinshis, having tackled 4 prior to this. All of 'em in 'Tales Of Vesperia'. Each one involving a certain maid. There's a good chance that she'll run into the agents sooner or later. Come to think about it, she did mention encountering some agents(and a hairy deathclaw) prior to 'Downtown 'Insult'.
Now about this doujinshi;
Lemme tell you, those authors are seriously messed in the head. Seriously, amputee fetishism, SMH yeesh!
But them I am writing missions that kill hentai doujinshis so I'm one to talk.
So yeah.
Now in the first portion, Emma mentioned that she thinks she met the agents before. That's because there are doujinshis that involve child!Emma and teen!Emma. And I'm coming for them. Just a fair warning.
Next time, we have an interlude where Naomi takes a little tour around headquarters.
Later.