"Dib-thing, Zim wants your attention."

Dib looked up from his computer and to where Zim was lounging on his bed, a book being ignored on his lap. Zim had practically moved into Dib's room, though he left at times to check on his base. A week had passed since the incident with Chunk, and things had been…relatively normal.

It was odd to adjust to Zim not trying to attack him or execute evil plots, but Dib wouldn't complain about being able to relax for once.

"What is it?" Dib said, swiveling around. "You know I want to have this report on that weird mutant rat we saw ready by tomorrow. Maybe the Eyeballs will actually send me some good equipment to catch it…"

"Zim will give you the equipment if they don't. And it would be far superior!" He held his arms out to Dib. "Hold Zim."

Dib bit back a sigh and walked over, scooping Zim up and carrying him back to his desk chair. Zim brightened at this, nuzzling into Dib's chest and chirping. Dib kept one arm wrapped around him, using his free hand to scroll through the report and type.

"We should go back to my base," Zim said after a few minutes, still huddled against Dib. "I still have much to show you."

"Not today," Dib said. "What about this weekend? I can stay over for a few days." And that would give him some time to get recording equipment ready…and he'd make sure that Gaz would actually come to get him if Zim decided to imprison him.

"Acceptable," Zim said. Dib stroked a finger along his antenna, and he fell silent.

Of course, Zim wouldn't stay quiet for long. "I'm curious about human affection."

Dib sputtered, startled. "Uh…what?"

"I only did a little research into it, since the Irken way of affection is clearly superior…less disgusting," Zim said. "But aspects of what humans do is…intriguing."

Dib swallowed, recollecting his thoughts. He prayed that it wasn't something weird that Zim mistook for a normal human thing…or that it wasn't an intensely intimate human thing. "Which aspects, exactly?"

"Humans smashing each others' mouths together...that's a gesture of affection, isn't it?" Zim asked. "Is that meant to be enjoyable?"

Dib relaxed a little. This realm of questioning wasn't too weird. "Um...yeah, I guess so," Dib said. "...so, Irkens don't kiss, I'm guessing? What do you do instead?"

Zim leaned forward, antennae flicking forward and entangling with Dib's cowlick. "If you had antennae, you would rub them against mine. This would be the closest equivalent to a human 'kiss'. And…"

He leaned forward to tap his forehead against Dib's, giving him a small nuzzle. "This is another, common gesture between close Irkens."

"Hmm." Dib pressed back a little, and Zim chirped, pleased. Still, Zim pulled away, letting go of his hair.

"Still, human affection seems…interesting," Zim continued. "Different, even though our courting is the same…"

Dib's heart gave a little jump, even though he could tell from his tone that Zim was still clueless. Still, he stood up, cradling the alien in his arms. Zim looked surprised at the sudden movement, briefly jolted from his train of thought.

"Why don't I show you some 'human affection'?" Dib said, sitting on his bed and ignoring the niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach. "So that you can see what it's like."

"Oh, yes!" Zim perked up. "Though I'm sure the Irken way is superior."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Dib leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against Zim's. Just a little peck, since he didn't want Zim to panic and bite his lips off. Zim went wide-eyed, antennae perking up and forward with curiosity.

Dib pulled back, watching as Zim squinted one eye, his antennae flicking in thought. "...interesting," Zim said. "I still don't get it, but...it's starting to make sense why you humans seem to do this so often."

He gripped Dib's collar, pulling him forward. "Do it again."

"Um." Dib hesitated, and Zim tugged on him a little more. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Zim's, adding a little more pressure this time. Zim hummed, sounding pleased with this…so Dib added a little more pressure, making it into more of a real kiss.

Zim's skin felt odd. Smooth in an inhuman way, and pretty warm. His lips were dry but not chapped…

His thoughts were cut off when Zim placed a hand on the back of his head, running his claws through Dib's hair and pulling him closer. Dib just focused on the kiss and feeling as much as he could…until his lungs started to burn, and he patted Zim's arm to get him to let go.

Once Zim's hand dropped, Dib pulled back, panting for air. Zim just watched, and though his breathing wasn't affected, he was giving Dib a doe-eyed expression, his antennae relaxed against the top of his head.

As soon as his breathing as even again, Dib's mind began to race. Wow…wow wow wow.

The kiss was sweet…literally sweet, like sugar. And his lips were actually tingling. It would make sense if Zim's saliva contained carbohydrates, based on his diet. And maybe an enzyme similar to bromelain…

"I know, I know, Zim is an amazing kisser," Zim said, snapping Dib out of his thoughts. "You'd never guess you're my first, would you?"

"Huh?" Dib blinked a few times. Oh, right, the kiss was a romantic gesture, not a research opportunity. (Well, not in Zim's mind, at least.)

"Yeah, that was…good," he coughed. "…you're my first, too."

"I know." Zim looked very smug. "Zim kept a close eye on you, you know. I would have noticed if you had attempted to take some inferior human worm-larvae as your partner."

Zim hugged his arm and leaned against him, rubbing his cheek against his side. Dib frowned, patting his head. "I could've found someone else," he muttered petulantly. "Maybe had a kiss when you weren't looking. You don't know."

"I had a very close eye on you," Zim said. "Not that I worried much. You established our courtship when we met, after all." He continued nuzzling into Dib's side, making it easy for Dib to hide his expression. That statement made him feel…funny, and he didn't want to think about it.

So, he decided to think about the new information he had just found out. And he found himself wanting to know more.

"There are other types of kisses, too," he said. "Have you heard of a French kiss?"

Zim looked at him with confusion. "You want to go to France just for kissing? That's a long trip."

"No, it's…ugh." Dib pushed up on his shoulders, making him sit upright. "I'll show you what I mean. Just relax."

He pressed his lips to Zim's again, but this time, he brushed his tongue against Zim's lips. He gave Zim's antenna a light stroke, and Zim relaxed, opening his lips and letting Dib's tongue enter his mouth.

His tongue automatically began to tingle, making him further convinced about that enzyme. He rubbed his tongue carefully along Zim's teeth, then pushed it in further. His zipper teeth had serrations to provide a cutting edge…and Dib was surprised to find that Zim's tongue was small and flat on the floor of his mouth.

A prod with his own tongue made Zim's twitch and grow wider and a little rounder. He wanted to keep going, but he was running out of breath. He pulled back and gasped, a strand of saliva stretching between them. His entire mouth tingled.

Zim stared at him, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. "…disgusting," he muttered. "Revolting. Your tongue burns."

"That's probably more from my saliva," Dib said, licking his lips. Still sweet. "You didn't like it?"

"…it was…actually acceptable," Zim admitted. "Did you have to wriggle your squirmy tongue around so much, though?"

"That's the whole point of French kissing!" Dib said. He was pretty sure it was, at least.

"Well, let's see how you like it, then!" Zim said, grabbing Dib's collar and yanking him forward, smashing their lips together. Dib was so surprised that his lips opened automatically, and Zim's tongue shot out and into his mouth.

Zim's tongue was round and thick, nearly completely filling his mouth. He lashed it around, rubbing it along the roof of Dib's mouth before pushing further in, nearly into Dib's throat. A sense of giddiness filled Dib as Zim began to tickle the sides of his throat.

…though he quickly realized that might just be the lack of air. He tapped Zim's shoulder, trying to signal he wanted to pull back. Zim grumbled and pulled back, letting Dib gasp for air while his tongue lolled out of his mouth.

"Peh. Of course your puny lungs can't handle this," Zim said, tongue still limply hanging out of his mouth. A few trails of smoke were coming from the part that had been in Dib's mouth.

Looking at it, Dib noticed that not even Zim's whole tongue had been in his mouth. Based on what parts were smoking, at least.

He wondered how unusual it would seem if he asked to get a precise measurement of Zim's tongue…

Zim plopped his weight against Dib's front, nuzzling against his chest. "Zim will show mercy and allow his Dib to catch his breath," he purred. "But later, though…perhaps you could show more forms of human affection. They were…very acceptable."

"Good to know," Dib panted, unconsciously reaching up to stroke Zim's antennae, making the alien chirp in delight.

Thought the moment didn't last long before someone loudly rapped their knuckles on Dib's door. They jumped and turned, seeing that Gaz had already opened the door and was giving them a look. It was gone too quickly for Dib to see exactly what kind of look it was, though.

"Hey, dinner," was all she said before turning and heading downstairs. Dib's stomach growled, and he lightly nudged Zim off of himself so that he could get up and follow.

Dinner tonight was tacos. Zim still elected to join them, but munched on a few handfuls of tortilla chips instead of coming anywhere near the meat the Membranes were adding to their meals.

Dib had learned that Irkens didn't need to eat often, their PAKs able to sustain them. But Zim still joined them during most meals, more for the social aspect or to be close to Dib than anything else.

Things didn't feel as awkward now, though. Or at least it wasn't as awkward as the first dinner here Zim had invited himself to.

"So, Dad messaged me not long ago," Gaz said, catching both of their attention. "He's gonna visit in a few days...and he sent me a copy of..." She grimaced, then pulled out her phone and slid it over to Dib.

She had pulled up a banner for a cutesy-looking game, covered in hearts and showing a few anime-esque characters. Sparkle Hearts: Life of Love was the title, apparently.

Dib also couldn't help but grimace at it. "So..."

"I'm playing this tonight to get it over with," she said. "And I refuse to suffer through this alone."

"Fine..." he sighed. They finished off their dinner and headed into the living room, Zim trailing behind them with a look of slight confusion. The siblings sat on opposite ends of the couch, while Zim got settled next to Dib, practically sitting on his lap.

Semi-recently, Dad had become interested in exploring the connections between video games and personality. Probably right around when someone had suggested that violent video games were making his daughter more aggressive, and he had immediately cited several studies to refute that idea.

Anyway, the only change in her day-to-day life was that Gaz now had to track what games she played and for how long, and had to take personality tests at certain intervals. Dad was probably getting data in other ways, too, but he hadn't told them how because that "could bias the data".

And every so often, Gaz would be asked to play a certain game, so that Dad could see if non-violent games or games of a certain genre had any sort of influence, positive or negative.

So that was how they all ended up sitting on the couch with a dating sim projected onto their TV. Gaz sat with a laptop in her lap, staring at the title screen.

...Dib wasn't sure he had ever seen Gaz willingly play a game with this many pastel colors in it. Or that looked so...innocently cute (and probably was).

Gaz grumbled and started the game once all of them were settled on the couch. "I could have joined a raid tonight," she said. "Or done anything else."

"...you could always just say 'no' to Dad about playing these games," Dib said.

Gaz snorted. "It's not that bad. And it means he'll come to visit soon to give me a test or something, so it evens out." She looked at them out of the corner of her eye. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go through this alone."

Dib shrugged, holding his hands up in a show of innocence and leaning back, watching the opening cutscene play out, introducing all the romance options. Zim curled against him, squinting one eye as his antennae quirked towards the screen in curiosity.

"This is meant to be a human romance game?" he said. "...is the Gaz training for courting?"

Gaz gagged, shaking her head. Dib quickly explained their dad's experiment, and Zim hummed, nodding along and shifting his attention to the game as Gaz began a cutscene with one of the characters.

Dib watched her play for maybe half an hour before slowly moving to pull out his own laptop. He continued to type up his report on the mutant rats, and a formal request for equipment to catch them. He remembered to look up and watch Gaz playing every so often, showing he was paying just enough attention for her satisfaction.

Though Zim seemed to be covering him in that regard, seeming very curious about what was happening in the game. Every so often, he would turn to Dib and nuzzle the bite on his throat. Dib would shiver, the skin there still tender.

Dib was nearly satisfied with his report about an hour in, when Zim got curious (and bold) enough to ask questions. "So...to establish a relationship with these...people, you need to get a certain amount of hearts from them?" Zim said.

"That and leveling up certain skills, yep." Gaz skipped another few lines of dialogue.

"And to gain hearts, you just...hang around them?" Zim continued. "Talk to them and give gifts?"

"Pretty much."

Zim hummed in thought...and then chuckled. Not in an evil way, but in a way that said he found something very amusing.

"What's so funny?" Dib asked, poking a ticklish part of Zim's side to make him chuckle more. It was fun, since Zim's chuckle was very...him. And Dib could actually feel Zim's laughter vibrate through him, since they were sitting so close.

"Well, it's ridiculous and inaccurate, isn't it?" Zim said. "The way they portray supposedly human romances. I mean, humans and Irkens have remarkably similar ideas of courtship in reality."

"Ah...sure..." Dib said, rubbing the back of his head.

"After all, I learned about human courtship being pain-based back when we were sniveling brats!" Zim continued. "When I became old enough to learn about Irken courtship, it all made sense! They were the same!"

"Hey...Zim," Gaz said, looking up from her laptop. "How exactly did you figure out that human relationships were based on pain?"

Dib's gaze snapped over to her, and he tried to send her a glare as discreetly as possible. She ignored it.

"Oh, when Tak arrived," Zim answered. "We dated for a little bit, you know. Before she revealed herself as an Irken."

"So...your basis for understanding human relationships is from Tak," Gaz summarized. "An Irken—not a human—who we all know hated you with a burning passion."

"...yeah?" Zim said. "I don't see...how..." His voice trailed off, the gears slowly, slowly turning in his head.

Dib felt himself start to sweat. This could ruin all of his plans. "D-Don't think about it too hard, Zim!" he said quickly. "Gaz is just...being Gaz! Right!?" He shot his sister another dirty look, which she effectively ignored.

"Right, of course!" Zim said, immediately snapping out of his reverie. "We've completed a successful courtship, which many would envy! So we both know exactly how a courtship is supposed to go."

"Yeah!"

Zim laughed, leaning over and flopping against Dib's side. "You were amazing at it, too," he said. Dib felt his insides twist. "All the threats, the fights...sometimes I was nearly worried that you really wanted to kill me just to look at my organs, hahaha!"

"Heh heh...yeah..." Dib fidgeted.

"...and you started early, too," Zim continued. "You were making advances the second I arrived in your class! Which I can hardly blame you for...Zim is an excellent partner that anyone would want."

He rubbed his cheek against Dib's. "But you! You were the first one bold enough to make a move and not be intimidated by Zim's greatness. And as I said, so good at it..."

Dib stiffened, hesitating before nudging Zim back. His heart was pounding, he felt sweat growing on his brow...and Gaz was giving him a look that prickled on the back of his neck.

"Yes...good and early! Very eager!" he squeaked.

Zim let out a chirping, purring sound. "Yes...I hadn't even become old enough to receive the files on courtship when we first met, and you were already making moves. Humans must reach the appropriate age earlier."

"Yep! That's exactly it!"

Gaz threw back her head and groaned. "For God's sake…Zim, would you think for once!?"

"Shut up, Gaz!" Dib hissed at her through grit teeth.

"There's nothing to think about!" Zim said. "The Dib initiated courtship at an early age. Once I saw the full picture years later, I thought over it and decided to reciprocate. Irkens and humans have similar courtship rituals, and that is all there is to it!"

His gaze turned to Dib. "Correct, my Ssnemi?"

Dib was about to confirm it, but the words caught in his throat. He swallowed, nerves buzzing. This should be easy, all he had to do was lie right to Zim's face…

Why couldn't he do it?

"I mean, maybe Tak disliked me, but I still learned the correct method of human courtship from her!" Zim rambled. "A-And humans definitely receive the information files at a younger age. We always had a perfect courtship going on. You would not really hurt me."

His voice was wavering, and his gaze on Dib was becoming more intense. "Isn't that all true?"

"Y-Yeah…" Dib forced out, his own voice shaking. "Yes, that's…it…" Even he could hear the lie in his voice, but he knew how gullible Zim could be.

And as he hoped, Zim's expression slowly began to brighten. Sure, he was still looking at Dib intensely, and his brow was creased with worry, but it looked like he was actively making himself believe Dib's words.

…and then Gaz spoke up again. "You've got to be kidding me," she groaned. "Both of you are terrible! Zim, if you don't actually start to think about this, and Dib, if you keep trying to lie badly—"

"Shut up, Gaz!" Dib hissed, cutting off what was likely going to be some sort of threat.

"…lie?" Zim whispered, brow creasing with worry once again. "No, you…you are my Ssnemi. My partner. You would not lie to me, too, would you? You had to have been telling the truth. Had to be!" But despite his words, it was clear he was becoming more and more panicked.

Dib quickly reached out, trying to hold his shoulder reassuringly. But his grip was too tight, too rough, and Zim flinched, his head snapping up. He looked into Dib's eyes…and Dib could see himself reflected in Zim's large magenta eyes.

He could see his own eyes were filled with panic. He tried a reassuring smile, but it was shaky and creepy, not helpful at all. And when he tried to say something, he found that the knot in his throat was back again.

Zim grabbed his wrist and shoved his hand off, scooting away. "Tell…tell Zim the truth!" he shouted.

"Seriously?" Gaz said. "You expect him to not lie? He hates you and he's been using you. Do you finally get it?"

"No, no, no, this is a…a big joke," Zim said, laughing shakily. "You don't hate me, Dib! If you hated me, you…you would…"

Something in him finally seemed to click…or maybe it had already clicked a long time ago, but Zim had refused to see it. His eyes widened, and he looked at Dib fearfully, an expression Dib realized that Zim hadn't worn around him for years.

"Get away!" Zim yelled, taking several quick steps back. "You…You rotten liar! Don't come any closer!" He was shaking. "I can't believe…you'd go so low as to trick me into thinking we weren't enemies!"

Dib stepped forward, trying to look reassuring. "You're the one who started this, Zim!" he snapped. Realizing that yelling wouldn't help, he tried to soften his tone. "A-And, um, clearly, we're not enemies. You won me over!"

"A-And you're still planning on hurting me and…dissecting me, aren't you!?" Zim shouted, backing even further away. "Aren't you!? Aren't you!?"

"Zim, just…just calm down!" Dib said, trying to make soothing gestures. But it felt so inauthentic, and if he ever stepped forward, Zim skittered two steps back. "Can't we just have a calm conversation about this? Bonded pairs can have that, can't they?"

"Maybe they do, but we can't!" Zim yelled. "We're not a true pair! You've been lying to me!"

"Well, I didn't think this was going to happen! I didn't think all those fights were a weird alien courtship thing all along!"

Zim froze, body quivering. "…I CANNOT be around you any longer!" he yelled. "Do not EVER enter my sight or presence again, you…you…you lying monster!" With that, before Dib could grab him, he ran and darted out the closest window, PAK legs carrying him off into the night.

Dib ran to the window, but by the time he made it, Zim was vanishing from sight. He still stood and stared in the direction he had gone in. His chest felt…tight. Like his heart was being squeezed in a vice.

"Yikes," Gaz said, clicking her tongue. "At least he didn't attack, right?"

That tight feeling was immediately forgotten. Dib whirled around, steaming with anger. "Gaz, why would you do that!?" he said. "Everything was going perfectly! I-I could have finally exposed him!"

Gaz shot him a dark glare. He was tempted to shrink away, but he was annoyed enough that he stood his ground. "Believe it or not, I don't care about whether or not you can expose Zim as an alien."

"So you could have just done nothing, you know—"

Gaz jabbed him in the chest, cutting him off. "But he is sometimes not annoying, and he's one of the only good teammates I've found for co-op."

"That doesn't..." Dib blinked. "Are...you saying you made friends with him...? Seriously?"

"That, and watching you two dance around each other like this is just painful," Gaz continued. "I don't want to deal with your breakdown if you actually used the 'bond' against Zim and then realized you actually like him once it's too late."

"...this isn't one of your games, Gaz!" Dib protested. "That would never happen! I'd never feel that way about Zim! I'd be glad if I could finally beat him!"

Gaz gave him a look. "How sure are you about that?"

"Very sure!" Dib turned on his heel and stormed upstairs. "Great...now I have to think of some other way to expose Zim! Thanks a lot!"

If Gaz had anything else to add, he didn't hear it over the blood rushing in his ears. He stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him hard enough to shake the walls and dislodge some of his pinned photos of Zim.

Sighing in aggravation, he bent down and began to reattach them to the wall. Gaz didn't know what she was talking about. He had the perfect chance to make Zim give himself up, and he wouldn't have regretted taking it, not for a moment!

She just didn't know what she was talking about.

Once he finished hanging the last of the photos, he stood back and admired his work. It wasn't much, really...most of the shots were blurry, and Zim wasn't even fully out of his disguise in most of them. He should have asked for a selfie or something before everything fell apart...

At least he had learned a lot of new things, even if the most important part failed! Like how sensitive Zim's antennae were, that he could purr, that he didn't need to sleep but would do so if relaxed or tired enough...

What games Zim liked, what his favorite food was, how he adopted a soft tone when it was just him, Gir, or Minimoose around...

Dib quickly shook his head. "No," he muttered to himself. "I hate him. I just miss the opportunity I lost, that's it. That's all." A little voice in him tried to protest, but it was easily squashed.

He sat and began to angrily scratch at some paper with a pen. Random angry doodles slowly turned into sketches of what he expected Zim's insides to look like, complete with little labels of what he expected each part to be for. But then…his doodles started to turn into just simple sketches of Zim out of his disguise.

…he quickly crumpled the paper up and threw it away. "Stupid Zim," he grumbled. "Stupid Gaz…" Clearly, he wasn't thinking straight, and it was their fault. A bit of sleep would surely be enough to make him think straight again.

Though it was relatively early for him, he quickly stripped down, pulled on his pajamas, and slipped into bed. For good measure, he grabbed the sleeping pills on his desk and shook some for his palm. Dad had gotten them for Dib's bouts of insomnia, though they were sparingly used. Dib was much more likely to use his insomnia to his advantage by staying up and getting work done.

But they were good for moments like this, where he wanted to sleep and not think. He quickly down the pills and made himself comfortable, closing his eyes.

The fact his bed felt colder and emptier was just another thing to not think about. He quickly slipped into unconsciousness, muscles relaxing.