My first step into writing in this fandom. I hope you enjoy!
Please remember to review at the end!
Pain.
That was something he was used to. He was also used to hiding it, burying it deep inside him. Burying it so deep that logic refused to touch it.
This pain, however, was new. Or seemed new.
He couldn't explain it, and, honestly, he didn't want to explain it. Hearing her say the words were more of a knife through his chest.
Yes, he thought, that was the feeling. A knife sticking into his chest and twisting it deep until there was nothing he could feel or even ignore except the pain. Pain, he was certain came from the woman standing beside his captain. He could barely turn around. He had to continue hiding behind the mask of logic. No one could know this was tearing him apart on the inside. All the training on his planet did not prepare him for this.
She loved him. She even told him that she did. Unfortunately, he couldn't respond to her feelings. Fear kept his words at bay. Fear, though illogical, was reasonable. It seemed like a contradiction, but the truth was correct.
He couldn't respond because he knew she still had ties with her fiancée and he had his own. How could he give in to the urges when they both had connections they could not sever?
Slowly, he turned and watched her for only a few seconds. She seemed happy. Happy to finally have the answers she desperately needed. Her eyes caught his, and he wished, if only for a moment, that this was a dream.
Dreams were illogical, yet they produced so much logic.
The voice on the other end of the call brought pain, and it intensified through his chest, spreading through his body. He had to keep up the façade. He had to remain logical. She was getting her answers and he was losing her.
He had wanted to be free. He wanted the temptation to be removed from his life, and resume his logical path, but this moment was revealing the harsh truth to him.
He loved her. He loved Christine.
How he hated the truth.
He wanted it to disappear. To become buried within the logic that it would never again see the light of day. Yes, logic. It saved him in the past, but this time he wasn't so sure it would keep him.
The joy on her face hit him once again, and he wanted to scream and hit something. Hit the console, separate the voice and her, claim her as his own, allow the passion from ages past engulf him, and show her exactly what she meant to him.
He wanted it more than anything, but he couldn't. It wasn't logical to act on the feelings which threatened to tear him apart.
If only he had responded to her, then this moment wouldn't hurt as much. If only he confessed the truth to her and they could have had that peaceful joyous moment, even if it resulted from an alien virus. The truth will come out, as the old Earth saying conferred.
What was his truth? That he was not as logical as he seemed? That he cared about his friends and those around him? That he loved, deeply?
Yes, it was the truth. He loved.
But now, it was too late. He couldn't reveal that truth. He was condemned to remain in the dark of logic. Forced to watch the only woman he truly cared for reunite with the man she was promised.
That was his pain. That was his curse.
He was losing Christine, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Please be kind!
If you wish for me to continue this story, which may be a two or three part, send me a message.
Until Next Time...