4 am was the start of the day for many. His alarm having woken him up, and the red rays peeking through scuffled blinds, shining over his face, Blitz sat up and stretched. He groaned. As routine as this was, he was never going to not get annoyed at needing to get ready this early. Unfortunately for him, the business he set up didn't exactly call for a lot of time off. Hitman work paid well, but with the variable difficulty and days on end one job could take, he wondered if he should start upping the going rate. It wasn't as if it'd kill him; technically, imps didn't need sleep at all. But God, if it didn't make him feel crappy overall anyways. Grabbing his phone, eyes crinkling from the white light, he stared at his wallpaper: no notifications.
Part of him was relieved. Another part felt empty.
A hot shower was the surefire way to start things off. Coffee could be first, depending on how much he needed to wake up in that instant, but this morning, he felt the need to relieve stress already. His mind was already beginning to decide on pissy as the mood. Not getting any missed calls or emails with overdue notices was nice. Yet, a piece of him was so bothered about it. There was an irony in it. Working, obviously, stressed him out, and took up all his time. And now, with a potential day off, he just felt alone.
But, he could hear Moxxie outside already, having arrived early. That would be nice. Kind of. His employee, who he'd hit on so many times, despite the latter being married and wildly uncomfortable... he was trying to do better on that regard. The loneliness could sure get to his head. The slightest bit of affection and attractiveness could immediately hook him. That starvation was a deep hole, and people like Moxxie, and Millie, were the crumbles he attempted to fill it with. Blitz scoffed at his self pity. Leaving the shower and getting dressed promptly in his usual work suit, he was glad to take in the faint scent of coffee and hear the sound of crackling, guiding him to the kitchen.
Blitz announced his arrival. "And this is why it's worth it to spend the extra cash on premium beans!"
"Ah, it's not bad. Though, sir, we really should've waited kept the beans intact until we're ready to drink. It ruins the purity."
"You know we don't have the budget for a bean grinder."
Moxxie threw his hands up, back turned, watching the dripping of the brown liquid into the pot, and looking at a clipboard.
"Teresa? Yeah, she's done. Alex... yeah. Boris..."
"Shit. Boris, I almost forgot about him." Blitz facepalmed. "But, didn't he cancel?"
"He cancelled alright." Moxxie flipped a page over. "And by cancel, you threw him out."
"I know what I said! We need to have standards." Blitz moved to the machine to replace the pot with his mug. "Just a bit of goddamn respect would be nice."
Moxxie turned over the pages a second time, re-reading. Then, he set the clipboard with a clap, surprising Blitz. "Well! It looks like we finished our contracts a week ahead of schedule!"
Blitz was in the middle of drinking and thought for a second. He gave a slow nod. He had been thinking about the possibility of this in the shower. "Sounds good. I'm thinking, uh, we can use a little vacation... call it an official week off. No on-call duty."
"Aw, yes! I was thinking of taking Millie to this new restaurant!" Moxxie grinned as he got his own mug of coffee, drinking too. "Is there anything you want me to do before I go then? Because otherwise, I've gotta run some errands."
"Ah, nah. Go and enjoy yourself."
Moxxie engulfed the entire drink in that moment, ecstatic. It made Blitz happy, in a bittersweet way. Selfishness aside, he was glad Moxxie could reach that level of joy. He was someone who deserved such a thing, and as far as the world went, that was more than someone could ask for. To feel that love, and be able to give that love back? It was a blessing... one he wondered why God didn't erase from Hell. Maybe having things continue to exist this way, the same as the human world, was supposed to be punishment.
Seeing Moxxie and Millie smile that way though, told Blitz that he was simply shit out of luck.
He'd heard the other imp shout out a gleeful goodbye in the background of his thoughts. He'd been staring at the coffee machine, not even realizing Moxxie had failed to replace the pot onto the heating pad, a sizzling sound as the liquid evaporated. Shaking his head, Blitz replaced the pot, then got to cooking breakfast. He'd thought of having Moxxie do that, but didn't want to keep the couple apart longer. Blitz had been working hard, meaning the other three were, too. Which reminded him; he'd be cooking for two. Scrambled eggs and bacon were on the menu.
It felt like motions and no substance. The scent of the hickory smoked pork eluded his senses. He hoped Loona would make her presence known to the kitchen soon. But soon arrived earlier than expected, and he'd finished his cooking. Preparing their plates and food, he went to her room, knocking, only to find the door partially opened. Carefully pushing it, the bed and blankets had been left in a messy pile. She wasn't home. The corner of his mouth slightly crinkled. Looking to a sticky note left behind, it seemed she'd gotten a headstart on the vacation, electing to leave the house way earlier in the morning. That, or, the note was premeditated and she'd been gone ever since the night before.
"...Guess that's extra for me." Blitz closed the door, returning to an empty, silent dining hall, sitting center where he usually did.
He quickly began missing the sounds of the coffee machine, and the noise Moxxie had been making in preparing it. He could keenly remember it amidst the shower now. Memories went through his head as silverware clattered against his plate, each bite taken a chore.
"Loony, mind passing the ketchup?"
An eyeroll, and a sliding of the bottle filled with red.
"This bacon sure is good, boss."
"Why, mah parents can make a finer meal than this processed stuff! Next time around we visit, y'all will see!"
"Heh," Blitz smiled, nodding at his empty plate, clean save for the yellow stain of excess oil. "yeah. Next Harvest festival, that sounds good."
He'd half expected to see those faces when he looked up. Closing his eyes for a second, he took a deep breath. Standing up, he made quick work of his dishes, along with cleaning the spill near the coffee machine. Flicking his hands in the sink, he wondered how he'd spend the day. He wished for the time off, but now that he had it, he didn't know how to actually relax. The silence of the apartment agreed with this sentiment, the lack of background noise enunciating isolation. Taking out his phone, he checked his notifications again. which of course, were still blank. He'd have felt a ring if there was something. So, he unlocked his phone, swiping with his thumb, and looking through his contacts as if he'd find a friend.
"Acquaintance, acquaintance, ex, acquaintance, ex, client, client, client, ex-friend... ex..."
He glanced at a particular contact with a sigh. He'd made it into a snort, but he knew very well what he was going to do in the first place. He'd slid right past it, but their two faces, side by side, never failed to make him draw breath. He knew he should've deleted such an image, but... it was hard. Blitz was keenly aware of his bad habit of refusing to let go.
It always felt strange, seeing her every now and then by chance. They didn't live far off from each other (literally next door), and whenever the chance meeting would come, their roles were set; two hateful, spiteful, unforgiving partners who once thought they'd be together for the rest of their lives. It was easy to fall into that role. After the first few times, it felt natural. The next few, it felt like an act he had to put up. It was as if, if one of them were to break character, it would be an admission of fault. Fruitless, as apology after apology from Blitz would be claimed to be a lie, or a self-serving scheme.
He wondered if Verosika ever felt the same. He could still feel the smile emanating from the image from the same day they'd taken it; an undying memory of what was once their union. He could still feel the remnants of their intimacy. His heart told him so, and ached so.
Blitz was, for once today, glad he'd been alone. He was able to cry freely, letting the tears fall. His breathing, for as he hard as he tried to resist it, became shaky. He sobbed onto the kitchen floor.
Tears were a different misery than emptiness. In that, he could find solace, free from restraint, letting it pour. This love for someone who likely never even thought of him anymore, or gave it another chance... he knew it wasn't right. Still, he forced himself to fall onto the same sword over, and over; bleeding for a palace that had faded into dust long ago.
"What a palace it was."
The phone in his hand vibrated. A few tears blurring the screen, he wiped it against his chest and quickly washed his face in the sink. Using the kitchen rag to dry, he answered without looking.
"Hi, Immediate Murder Professionals! Looking for a clean burial? We've got a special deal on..." Blitz rubbed his forehead, trying to remember. "...shit, there was some kinda deal. What was it on the advert again? Decapitations?"
"Blitzy." A royal voice called.
Blitz didn't know how to feel. Chills ran down his spine. "Oh. Heya... uhh, did we have something scheduled for this week? Thought we-"
"How are you doing?" The prince had unintentionally cut in.
"I'm..." Blitz scoffed silently, smiling to himself. "...doing fine. I'm great, in fact."
"That's good."
"..."
"..."
Blitz swallowed. "You, uh... you happen to be busy?"
"I was going to ask the same thing." The other voice paused, hesitating. "...If you are not doing something, then perhaps we could have a get-together?"
"..."
"...Only if you haven't any plans for today, of course. I understand if-"
"Yeah, I think that sounds... sounds good."
"Then, I will be there shortly."
"See you then."
Click.
They'd always had an awkward relationship. It wasn't traditional in any sense of the word, and it sure felt strange. The infidelity of it all wasn't lost on Blitz, nor was the entire mismatch of it. The date at Ozzie's sure solidified that. Pushing away that thought as he didn't want to fall into yet another mood drop, he thought of what they could even do. It was much too high profile to go out to any place; he didn't exactly want to go into a shootout right now and disturb the others' time off. So, they'd just have to settle for his apartment. Looking around, there was nothing to tidy up.
But, what would they do?
"Movies... food..." Blitz blinked. Even though it wasn't exactly a date, he knew very well it was going to be treated as one. "...video games...?"
Blitz enjoyed them, but there never really was any time for them anymore. Deciding that he'd probably find something on the online store, movie or otherwise, he went to his room and booted up the dusted console. Hopefully his company wouldn't mind such a thing... it wasn't as if Blitz had some great library of books, or astrological knowledge to share. That added to the conundrum of how unlikely the pair they made was. But hey. It was likely Stolas was as bored as he was too, right? A pizza delivery later, a new game, and Stolas...
"...And Stolas..." Blitz repeated, blushing lightly. It didn't sound bad at all.
The store yielded an assortment of games and movies he didn't recognize at all. As said before, he didn't have the time. On the forefront of the store was an action survival horror game that had some great reviews. It caught his eye in particular as he saw some pretty beautiful visuals, and a variety of combat animations that 'reminded him of a few things in reality.' The 60 dollar price tag irked him, but had enough in the budget for it. Probably.
Hearing a knocking at the door, he stood up quickly. He'd forgotten Stolas could teleport at will... and that this time, instead of just appearing in front of him and tackling him out of nowhere, they'd elected to take the front door. It was uncharacteristic. Thinking of it now, the prince was talking rather differently on the call. Quickly changing out of his suit and into a more casual jogging pants and hoodie, he looked into the eyehole. It looked like Stolas had the same idea as him, dressing much more casually than usual. The owl blinked and smoothed out the creases of their outfit as if Blitz would judge. Opening the door, he peered out behind Stolas, looking in both directions, then pulling him in.
"Is something wrong?"
Blitz looked out for a moment longer, then closed the door. "Just checking if anyone saw... you can't be too careful anymore."
"I'm afraid you're right."
"..."
"..."
"Have you eaten? I can make you some breakfast."
"If you don't mind." Stolas had his hands folded, their tail swishing.
Blitz headed for the kitchen and got out the same materials as before. Every motion he made, he knew, was being observed quite meticulously. With Stolas, he knew he was the center of attention... part of him felt afraid of it. Glancing every now and then, he'd see those red eyes just staring, and that smile; a smile so sweet that he could go without the extra sugar in his coffee. Paired with it was, again, fear. The unsettling feeling that never ceased around him.
"Bacon and eggs are fine, right?"
"Anything you make will be fine, Blitzy- err... Blitz..."
This time, he decided to add some toast on the side as well, careful not to overcook the bacon, and cleaning the pan to make perfect, buttered, scrambled eggs. It sure wasn't gourmet, but he wanted to make something serviceable for the prince. When he set the plate down in front of Stolas, they looked so pleased, wiggling subtly. Blitz rolled his eyes and smiled slightly.
"It's just your everyday breakfast. What's got you so excited?"
"Oh, please. I'm really happy you'd cook something for me."
"It probably isn't what you're used to, but it's made with love." Blitz swallowed, unconscious in his wording.
Stolas turned bright red for a moment, and looked as if he were going to say something. Though, they instead just took a bite, beginning to eat.
Bite after bite, Blitz observed much the same. It was Stolas' turn to be analyzed. The imp thought it'd be a bite of a fun trip to just copy the owl's very same motions. But, he found himself falling into a different train of thought. Stolas glanced every now and then, just as he did when he was cooking, and continued to smile that sweet smile that made him feel...
"That was quite well done, Blitz."
Blitz blinked, double taking as he looked at the dish, then back to Stolas. He didn't cook as much as he thought.
"Ah, right, I forgot to make some coffee. Lemme get started on that."
Setting in a new filter into the machine and pouring grounds into it, he stretched his arms out. Stolas sure meant it when he said he'd be there soon. It was only 6:20 am.
"Your subordinates will be joining us later, I suppose?"
"Nah. I gave them the week off. Figured we were ripe for a break. Been workin' too hard."
"I see."
Blitz got the mugs ahead of time and decided to speed up Stolas', using a blue one in particular for them, and a black one for himself. As soon as the owl's was full, he brought it to the table.
"Careful. It's hot."
Stolas smiled. "I know..."
Staring for a second, Blitz heard the drips sizzling yet again. Hurriedly placing his own, he heard soft chuckling behind him. Blitz smiled too, turning around with his arms folded.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Oh, nothing.."
"You're making the coffee next time."
"Is that any way to speak to your employer?"
"Client." Blitz grabbed his mug and sipped, leaving out the cream.
"If you insist. Whatever leaves you staying with me." Stolas was awkward in his delivery, looking away, mug in hand.
"As long as there's money and the book." Blitz looked down into his drink. Black as void. The bitterness especially hit in that taste.
Stolas' hands tightened on his mug. "...Of course."
Blitz's heart sunk at his own words. It was the truth, wasn't it? Their entire relationship seemed to be bound by business, no matter the past. Even from the very beginning, he could remember his own ambitions and actions. The prince had their own as well... neither of them were pure. Yet, here they were, playing roles of a different act. Whatever script they were following right now was confusing, and uncomfortable.
Blitz tried moved on. "I hope you don't mind video games... there was something that I thought was kinda interesting. Or, we could watch a movie instead? Maybe you've got better ideas?"
"That sounds just fine."
Hearing Stolas' voice like that killed him. Was Stolas blaming him for this situation? It's not like it was all his fault. Regardless, it was killing Blitz to hear him sound so defeated, and sad. Even though the owl was trying hard to sound professional, he could see in the way they moved; their hands, shoulders, and eyes. Standing up, Blitz bashfully took one of their hands, practically lifting them up from their seat.
"Blitz-?"
Blitz looked seriously into Stolas' eyes, annoyed. "I wanna show you that game I was talking about."
"So serious." Stolas exhaled.
That pissed Blitz off even more. It made him feel so guilty. Why was it his fault he was telling it how it was? Turning away, he dragged him towards his room. Flicking on the lights as he entered, he let go and sat on the couch, looking at the dim screen. It lit up as he touched the controller. Still on the purchase screen, he hastily finished the transaction.
'60 bucks down the drain...'
Seeing the owl just standing at the door frame, looking tense, Blitz let out a louder sigh, crossing his arms. "You can sit down, you know."
Stolas looked just as uncomfortable as Blitz was, hands folded like before, but antsy in their swaying. "I don't know if I should."
'God, you are going to make me lose it.'
Blitz's brows furrowed as he thought of what to do with this. The anxiety was seriously getting to him. Softening his eyes, he patted the space next to him. "Will you please sit next to me?"
Stolas, after a brief period of nothing, enough for Blitz to completely regret his entire existence, slowly walked forward, arms still crossed, and plopped exactly on the spot presented. A small amount of space had been deliberately placed between them though, and Blitz knew it was on purpose. The more he thought of it, the more this was looking to be as stressful as any day on the job. At least if he was getting shot at, he'd have a rush. Part of it was fun. Right now? He felt like he was going to explode.
Blitz liked to operate on instinct. Whenever he made decisions, he'd just go for whatever his gut was feeling. But it just so happened that around this particular demon, he had no idea what to do. Everything seemed like a valid option now. Running? Smashing the television? Throwing himself out the window? All possible. Why the hell did it always have to get this complicated?
"Hm."
Just the owl's hoot was going to kill him at this rate. Leaning back, Blitz carefully wrapped an arm around the taller demon. Feeling their fur on him felt like electric... and surely, Stolas could feel the rapid beating of his heart. Stolas seemed to repeat the same noise at this, but didn't look, just staring ahead at the television. This made Blitz relax just slightly. Leaning his head against their arm, he shivered. Stolas probably had no idea how much this was taking out of him.
This seemed to calm Blitz down though, just holding them close. That fur was so soft, and as he remembered... and a part of him had told him this was the right move. It felt right. So, he just stayed there, docile, watching as the game downloaded. Feeling their arm reciprocate the motion, Blitz swore he felt his insides melt. Blitz's posture relaxed, and his body only leaned more into the owl's warmth, his head rubbing against their arm.
Blitz could recall situations like this so often; moments where they lost their 'characters.' He could never tell when or why it would happen. What Blitz knew was it felt real. It was beyond the appearances; beyond everyday's routines. It was no wonder why he got so uncomfortable. No one else made him feel this way. It was as if he was no longer in control. Everything was unpredictable.
Feeling Stolas shiver, he looked up, only to see those red eyes now staring down at him yet again. That glow, and quiet purring told him that this surely had been the right thing to do.
But, their shiver.
"Are you cold?" Blitz spoke quietly.
Stolas shivered again. "Just a little."
Standing up, Blitz felt a little bit of resistance from those longer arms, as if they did not want him to go. If that were the case, Blitz had only left momentarily anyhow, grabbing his blanket from his bed, and as he sat back down, covered the two of them in it. He folded up against the owl's side further. This surely beat laying down alone in bed. He always remembered sleeping next to Stolas as some of his best sleep, as much as he'd never admit it. With all the variables floating around between them, however, it always ended up feeling off.
Like laying next to a landmine.
Blitz could feel those long fingers tracing up and down his back. It made him feel even warmer, trembles as the prince caressed him. Soon, another hand would join in, rubbing the back and top of his head. Suffice to say, Blitz didn't let anyone touch him like this; nor did anyone offer, anyhow.
Just as Blitz was settling down, he rose up slowly, glaring at the owl. "Hey. How come you never let me do this to you?"
Stolas looked as if he was going to laugh, raising a hand to his mouth. "Maybe because you never offer? It was so much of a struggle for you to say you wanted to cuddle. And even then, you couldn't say it directly."
Blitz gave an annoyed huff. He hated having to admit this sort of thing, and he never would. Of course, this was sort of part of the job description. Something about the terms and conditions did allow for... whatever this was. Though, Blitz knew very well it wasn't something he opposed to. There were times he wished he could just give in and have it be 'normal.' But something always held him back. Something always kept him from saying and doing things that he knew he'd regret. Funny, considering how far they'd gone as it was.
Everything but the ribbon.
"You know," Stolas gently stroked Blitz's cheek with a talon. "I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to."
Blitz leaned against the touch. "Ha. You say that after we've banged like, a hundred plus times."
Stolas stopped dead in his tracks, leaning close. "Blitz. The things we do... are they consensual? Because... if not, then I..."
"Hey, relax." Blitz sighed, looking away for a second. This was a very slippery slope. "Yes, obviously I... let things happen. You didn't force me into anything. If anything, it was me coming onto you at the start of all this."
That must've been what Stolas wanted to hear, right? The easy way out. For Blitz to just shoulder it all and say 'it's nothing,' and that the whole cheating on his wife thing was mostly the imp to blame. But, Blitz could still see discontent, and uncertainty on the owl's face.
"It's alright. Seriously."
"That isn't what's bothering me, Blitzy." Stolas didn't try to catch the nickname this time. Placing his hands onto Blitz's face, he looked carefully. The eyes read of fear. "Even with everything that's happened, and our arrangement... it doesn't feel right. I've hurt you... haven't I?"
Blitz shook his head, groaning as he pulled Stolas into a tight hug. Nuzzling right under their neck, he heard those coos he oh so loved to entice. "No, you haven't. You can't hurt me."
Blitz couldn't see Stolas' face in this angle. He'd elected to keep his face against the owl's soft neck. He was afraid too.
He couldn't remember the last time they'd cuddled. It was quite a while ago, as he'd intentionally been trying to dodge Stolas for as much as he could. Bodyguard duty was still a thing, but he'd been doing his best to keep himself reserved, and restrained. Blitz was there to do a job, after all, and he couldn't let anything distract him. It was commonplace for his self interest to be at the forefront. But, things were getting muddied; his judgement hadn't been the best to begin with, but it'd gotten especially clouded with the past month. Too many events, too many wild turns left and right.
Blitz was glad to, for once, feel fine. Ironically, that was right in the arms of the very thing he was avoiding. This felt beyond right. It felt perfect.
So perfect, that a different, yet similar fear crept. But for now, he pushed it all away, closing his eyes.