Chapter 7: Judy is Not a Disney Princess!
Judy goes back to Zootopia to ask Fru Fru if she can help her with something.
"Keep in mind that in the whole long tradition of storytelling, from Greek myths through Shakespeare through King Arthur and Robin Hood, this whole notion that you can't tell stories about certain characters because someone else owns them is a very modern one - and to my mind, a very strange one." ― Michael Montoure, Slices
Tundratown, Zootopia
The rabbit in a pink sweater and denim jeans sighed after she leaned back into the oversized armchair. She was obviously frustrated about something while she watched, through the mansion's frosted window panes, the snow continue to fall outside. "Judy, what's the problem?" a fashionably dressed little shrew sitting nearby on a much, much, smaller version of the same chair asked.
"Fru Fru, I have to buy a gown," Judy answered before giving yet another sigh.
"Congratulations!" the small shrew shrieked in glee as she stood up and excitedly clapped her paws together.
"Congratulations?"
"Yes, when's the big day?"
"It's next Friday night…"
"And you are now just telling me? I'm your best friend and you are the godmother of my daughter, you could have at least told me earlier!"
"Huh?"
"We don't have much time to plan…"
"Wait…plan? What are we planning?"
"You're wedding!"
"My what?"
"When did Nick propose to you? Come on, I want all the romantic details and why did he not give you a ring? I don't see an engagement ring, don't tell me that fox is too cheap to buy you a ring! Wait, did you get a diamond ring and it is still being sized? Tell me he bought you a real diamond and not some lab-made stone! Is the ring 14-karat yellow gold or is it white?" Fru Fru excitedly fussed.
"Ring? What at you talking about? Nick and I are not engaged."
"Didn't you just tell me that you needed a wedding gown?"
"Not a wedding gown, I need a gown to wear to a ball that Cinderella is holding at her castle."
"Oh? Well, that is disappointing," the shrew pouted.
Judy slumped back into the chair again and glanced over at Raymond, the huge white-furred polar bear bodyguard just shook his head with an amused smile before he returned to looking down at some photos on his cellphone again.
"Look, Fru Fru, Nick and I love each other but getting married can be complicated and I'm not sure we are ready to make such a commitment."
"You two are already living together."
"Still..."
"Wait a minute! Are you and Nick too afraid to tell your father and mother about your relationship?"
"No, Mom and Dad would be a piece of cake compared to some of the others we would have to tell."
"Are you talking about Mickey? If that mouse is giving you a hard time about Nick, I'll ask Daddy to have a conversation with him."
"A conversation?"
"I'm sure that Daddy would make him an offer...well, let's just say it would be the kind of offer he couldn't refuse."
There was a sinister-sounding chuckle coming from the room's corner and Judy glanced over at Raymond.
"No, it's not Mickey," Judy said. "I'm talking about Byron and Rich."
"Do you think they would have a problem with you and Nick getting married?" Fru Fru asked.
"I think that they would fit through the hatch in the floor of the office if the boss says to ice them," Raymond growled. "If not, Kevin has a chainsaw."
"You would make the opening larger?" Fru Fru asked in confusion.
"No, we would make them smaller, piece by piece," the bear answered.
"No! No! I'm sure that wouldn't be necessary," the rabbit quickly added.
"You two could always go to that city near the Disney studios in Burbank and elope. You know, it's that place where you can gamble and get married on the same day," the shrew suggested.
"Are you talking about Las Vegas?" the rabbit asked. "It isn't that near Burbank, it's over a four-hour drive."
"Yeah, Elvis can marry you."
"Fru Fru, Elvis is dead."
"No, he is not! I saw him at Disneyland when we were filming that Zootopia Plus episode of "The Real Rodents of Little Rodentia". He has big blue ears and hangs around a young Hawaiian girl."
"That wasn't Elvis, that was Stich dressed up to look like Elvis."
"That probably explains why he had four arms," the shrew mused.
"You couldn't tell the difference between an alien and a human?"
"What can I say, to me all those yucky humans kind of look alien?"
Judy just stared at Fru Fru with her mouth open in surprise.
"So you need a gown?" Fru Fru finally continued. "They don't sell ball gowns in Orlando?"
"Nick and I went to the mall, to a place called Macy's, but everything that would fit me was in the store's Children's Department and the store clerk told me that they had a whole line of Disney princess costumes only at Halloween. I also tried scheduling an appointment with the Fairy Godmother at her shop in the Magic Kingdom but she was booked."
"Wasn't she the one who made glass slippers for Cinderella? Could you imagine trying to dance with glass slippers?"
"I didn't think about shoes!" Judy groaned. "There is no way I'm going to wear shoes, have you ever seen a rabbit wearing shoes?"
"The March Hare wears brown loafers," Fru Fru answered.
"Okay, have you ever seen a SANE rabbit wearing shoes?"
"Well, Judy, I think it is time for us to go shhhoopppppiiiinnnngggg!" the shrew happily called out.
* A few days later *
Judy sat back in the chair again and sipped on her carrot tea.
"So how was the ball?" Fru Fru asked after she sat her tiny cup down.
"It was fabulous!" the rabbit answered in a dreamy manner. "Nick was so handsome in his rented tuxedo and I was wearing that gorgeous gown you helped me pick out. He said that the purple in the tulle dress highlighted my eyes."
"How romantic!" the shrew sarcastically chuckled. "But you're eyes were not the parts of the body that the dress was supposed to highlight. Are you sure that you two are not already an old married couple?"
"We danced and danced, well past the stroke of midnight," Judy continued, ignoring her friend's comment.
"Oh dear, did your carriage turn back into a pumpkin before you could leave?"
"Carriage? We came on the Monorail."
"Nevermind, that was a Cinderella joke. What about the shoes, did they pinch your toes?"
"To be honest, when Nick and I were entering the castle, I was having a terrible time walking on those heels. I then literally stumbled into Princess Merida and she was having the same problem, she looked down at me and grinned. The next thing I know, she and I had both pulled off our damned shoes and together tossed them into the moat."
"Judy, weren't those expensive Preyda pumps and you just tossed them away?"
"They weren't real Preyda shoes but some cheap look-alike knockoffs that Nick bought from an old acquaintance he knew before he became a cop."
"That figures."
"I got them back. When Queen Elinor found out that her daughter had thrown her shoes away, she made King Fergus go wading into the moat to find them. You know how thrifty those Highlanders are! He found both Merida's shoes and my shoes, along with a fork which Princess Ariel insisted on calling a dinglehopper.
"Mermaids can be so weird."
He also found the car keys to a Ford Pinto, which has been rusting in the employee's parking lot since Goofy lost them back in 1981."
"Talk about long-term parking!"