Chapter 13: Lucky 13?

Happy July 13th, which is known as National Barbershop Music Appreciation Day, so sit back and listen to Disney's own The Dapper Dans while they regale you with their version of "Zip-a-Dee Doo Dah" as you read this chapter. Maybe I have finally gained some control of my story once again.

(Readers: Chapters 5, 12, and 13 are just poking fun at the new Judy robot and also how silly the evil plan was that the so-called super-intelligent robotic villain, Ultron, conceived in the Disney movie Avengers: Age of Ultron. It is as simple as that.)

"Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels, published in 1726, marked the beginning of this movement [Fan Fiction]. Not long after its publication, readers started to imagine its hero, Lemuel Gulliver, in circumstances that either were only briefly alluded to in the text or they themselves invented; the more shocking the revisions, the better." - Shannon Chamberlain, Fan Fiction Was Just as Sexual in the 1700s as It Is Today.

Old Goat's Farm

Southern Alabama

My son stood in front of me holding a flat brown box. "Dad," he said, looking down at my laptop, "what were you thinking?"

"Let's go with I thought someone had compromised my computer, it has been doing some really, really, really weird stuff lately," I answered with a shrug.

"But why did you do that to your laptop?"

"I remembered how a presidential candidate years ago got caught using a private email server for government work and so she bleached the machine's hard drive."

"Dad!"

"So I figured that I could bleach my hard drive and that would solve my problem."

"Dad!"

"Since I didn't know how to remove the hard drive, I just tossed the whole thing into a bucket of bleach."

"Dad, when they talk about bleaching a hard drive, they mean using a software program, not real bleach."

Yes, I realized that afterward, which is why I had you drive over to Wal-Mart to get me a new laptop since this one is fried," I said as I grabbed the box from his hands and slid the new computer out onto the table.

"Was it still plugged in when you threw it in the bucket?"

"Of course it was, the battery stopped charging last year. Boy did it spark before the fuse tripped."

"Dad?"

"I didn't touch it until it was unplugged from the outlet."

"Do you need me to help you set up your new laptop?"

"Nope, I'm sure this will be a piece of cake…wait, what the hell is Windows 11? Didn't they have anything that still uses Windows 7?"

My son stood there shaking his head. "This is why we don't let you touch any of the new tractors," he muttered in an exasperated tone.

Waffle House

Near Disney World, Florida

"Finnick, you look terrible," said a larger red fox in a retro Beatles tee shirt and blue jeans.

"Wilde, I went to a party last night and I think I died?" A smaller, big-eared fox wearing a black polo shirt sarcastically responded.

"That's why I brought you here, a big helping of greasy hashbrowns that are scattered, smothered, and covered will fix any hangover."

"Hashbrowns that are what?"

"Scattered on your plate, smothered with sautéd onions, and covered with American cheese. So, who threw the party?"

"Zé literally flew in yesterday."

"José "Zé" Carioca is in town?" The red fox exclaimed in surprise.

Finnick groaned as he reached for his coffee. "Not so loud, fox! My head is killing me."

"Sorry, but are you telling me that you got to party with one of the Three Caballeros?" Nick asked in a hushed voice.

"No, all three were there. I never realized what a party animal Donald Duck can be and Panchito Pistoles is one crazy rooster.

"I wonder why I wasn't invited?"

"We all thought you and Judy went to Zootopia?"

Nick sat back and gave a long sigh, "We didn't have any other choice but to come back."

"Why?"

"It's complicated, but I'm pretty sure it was the fault of a raccoon and an old goat."

"My head throbs too much for complicated," Finnick softly growled with a dismissive wave of his right paw. After a few moments, he glanced around the room. "You'd think someone would be surprised to see two foxes eating here?"

"I think the good folks who work here have seen just about everything, after all this is a twenty-four-hour roadside diner in Florida."

"Good point."

Kona Café

Disney's Polynesian Village Resort

"Sweet cheese and crackers, it seems that every time we get close to a sequel for Zootopia, something happens!" Judy sort of cursed. "Now it's a writers' strike."

Minnie choked on her coffee as she tried to stifle a laugh while she was swallowing. Clearing her throat, she sat back and looked at the rabbit wearing the blue and pink blouse. Finally, she said, "Darling, someone has to teach you how to swear properly."

"Oh, I can curse like a sailor when I want to. After all, I am living with a fox."

"I'm sure you can," the mouse giggled.

"Hey, do you think they will let me use the "F" word in the movie? They let Peter Quill use it in Guardians of the Galaxy 3."

"I'm pretty sure that the sequel to Zootopia is going to be rated G and not PG13."

Well, there is a writers' strike, so maybe I can get Nick to sneak into the office and change the script.

"Why, Nick? If you're going to do such a thing, why not do it yourself?"

"Foxes are far more cunning. You can trust me on that."

"I'll have to do so," Minnie scoffed. "So why did you have to cut short your trip home?"

"It's complicated, but I'm pretty sure it was the fault of a raccoon and an old goat."

"A raccoon and an old goat?"

"Yeah, they screwed up our trip by pissing off my dad."

What is Stu unhappy about? He always seems like a jovial, somewhat excitable, but overall a very pleasant rabbit.

"I didn't tell him that Nick was my boyfriend."

"You two are living together, so that makes him a tad bit more than a boyfriend."

"Yeah, he's not into this WildeHopps thing."

"I think the term is called shipping." the mouse chuckled.

"Yes, I know. It's just when you use the term "shipping," it reminds me of that Disney cruise Nick and I worked."

"Why?"

"It was bad weather, and the ship was rocking back and forth on the waves. As a result, we spent a lot of time alone in our cabin."

"Let me guess, the ship wasn't the only thing that was rock..."

"Minnie, please this chapter is supposed to be rated T!"

"You're the one who started this."

"Nevermind," Judy sighed before she sipped from her herbal tea.

"Oh, by the way, they found that robot of you."

"I didn't know it was missing."

"It was located at the old abandoned waterpark. How it got there is anyone's guess."

"Did you have to call the police to find it?"

"No, we sent the wolves. Larry and Gary just followed the really long line of extension cords that had been plugged in starting back in the lab. There were miles of those cords, I guess one of the maintenance team unplugged the first cord and after that, there was no more power to the unit."

"Why would someone steal that ugly thing to start with?"

"Who knows, but the techs decided to bleach the hard drive in case something malicious had been downloaded."

"Just out of curiosity, where is the recharging port on that thing?"

"Judy, didn't you just remind me that this chapter is "T" rated?"

"Oh, my goodness they didn't put it there!"

"Oh, yes they did!"

"[Censored] the little [censored] who came up with that [censored] design!" Judy cussed.

"Well, you really can curse like a sailor when you want to!" Minnie laughed.

Disclaimer: I actually don't know where the recharging port is on RoboJudy.