KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Ugh. It took a few moments for me to come awake and to remember what had happened. I was home and the threat had passed but Zip had been shot.

I pulled on a sweatshirt and leggings and checked the peephole. It was Lester, with coffee and a takeout bag.

I opened the door and asked, "Is Zip ok?"

"He'll be fine, Beautiful. It missed anything vital. He's already out of surgery and on a ward bed. I can't say when he'll be home - he may drag his recovery out for more time with the hottie nurses at St Francis, but he's definitely out of the woods."

"Thank God," I breathed a sigh of relief as I led the way to my dining table. "Did Ranger send you?" I asked as he set the coffee and breakfast sandwiches on the table.

"Yes, and no. I mean my cousin didn't outright tell me to come here, and he certainly didn't ask me to bring this much cholesterol and trans fats, but he did go out of town last night and I know he'd want me to tell you that he'll be gone a few weeks and to see how you are."

"Ranger's gone?"

"Urgent call up. He'd been delaying it until the Reaper situation was resolved. When the brass got word that it had been, they sent someone for him straightaway. He'll be gone awhile."

I sighed and put my head on my arms on the table. Great. He'd gone somewhere dangerous, to do something dangerous and my last action had been to storm off.

Lester sat back and sipped his coffee. "I take it you two didn't part on the best terms?"

I grunted negatively.

"You're going to have to do better than that, Beautiful. I may be the most verbose Rangeman but you still have to give me something to work with."

"He yelled. I yelled. He was so angry," I mumbled into my arm.

"Are you sure anger is the best word to use here?"

I looked up. "What are you, the word police?"

Lester tilted his head to the side, "Was he just angry? Or perhaps, frustrated?" He paused, "Possibly scared?"

"Ranger doesn't get scared."

Lester snorted. "I assure you he does. He may be fearless when it comes to his own safety, but being scared for you is an emotion he's very familiar with."

I reached over and picked up my coffee, taking a long sip while I considered this.

"If I'm such a problem, why does he keep me around then? He's said he doesn't want a relationship with me. I thought he was my friend and he wanted me to succeed, but he made it clear last night that he doesn't think I'm much of a bounty hunter."

Now it was Lester's turn to sigh. "My idiot cousin loves you. Anyone can see that. Hell, even the Reapers saw that. It's possible the only person in the world who isn't sure he loves you is you."

There was no way in hell that was true. "If he loves me, he has a funny way of showing it. He said his love comes with a condom, not a ring. And he said I'm a line item in his entertainment budget," I added bitterly.

"Pinche cabrón," Lester muttered. And then louder, "Look, you'll have to give me a minute to consult my emotionally-constipated-asshole to human dictionary but if I had to take a guess, I'd say he's been keeping you at arms' length to protect you. Scrog, Orin Carr, now the Reapers. They all came after you because of your relationship with him. Can you imagine how much more danger you would be in if you were his girlfriend?" He leaned back and picked up his breakfast sandwich, taking a bite. After he chewed and swallowed he added "I don't know that you could handle that level of danger."

"That's so unfair! I handle danger all the time" I snapped.

Lester looked unfazed, "You have a dangerous job certainly. What do you do to minimise that danger?"

I was silent. We both knew the answer to that. When I started out, I'd go to the gun range with Eddie but I hadn't been there in years. I'd also gone running occasionally. A few times, like when I was looking for Uncle Mo, I'd even called Ranger and arranged to go running. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laced up my trainers. And despite being in near constant danger, I was always ditching my trackers. Is this why Ranger was so pissed off last night? Did he look at my lack of progress and think I didn't care enough about him to change? That I was never going to be ready for the level of danger in his life? Was I the one preventing 'someday'?

"Why didn't he just tell me I needed to change?" I asked.

"Doesn't work like that, Beautiful. I'm guessing he started out with sludgy green shakes and 5am runs?" I nodded. "And when you didn't show any interest, he stopped?" I nodded again. "You can't make someone change – they have to want to change. And they have to want to change for their own reasons, or it won't stick. He showed you want to do, so now you have to ask yourself, do you want to do it?"

He got up to leave, "I'll see you at the office on Tuesday?"

I gave a non-committal grunt as I showed him to the door and said goodbye. He'd given me a lot to think about.