A/N: Longer chapter! Hope you enjoy!
September 2004
"But why do I have to do it?" Audrey complained quietly to Megan and Jen next to her while pulling into a new yoga position.
"Because you're the one who's married," Jen told her. "And, you're his coworker and his boss's daughter. Imagine you didn't like him, how awkward the whole thing would be. He is not going to risk it."
"Yeah, but he must know I'm interested. He's not stupid. I just think he hasn't because he's not interested," Audrey commented. They changed yoga positions.
"He is definitely interested," Jen promised her. "He looks at you so differently than he does anyone else. You said you've noticed him staring."
"Yeah, but staring at my body does not necessarily mean that he wants to date me. It means he wants to sleep with me. I want more than that."
"I can tell he wants more than that too," Jen told her. Audrey nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. When she caught some men staring at her, she could see a lustful look in their eye, wanting to merely sleep with her. But, she didn't get that from Jack. When she caught him looking, she saw adoration in his eyes. His gaze made her feel beautiful, not just sexy, and she knew from their conversations that he was interested in truly getting to know her.
"Just find a moment that feels right and kiss him," Jen instructed.
"I still can't believe you let a whole week of romantic runs and coffee dates in Paris - the most romantic city in the freaking world - go by without kissing him," Megan reprimanded.
Audrey sighed. Her friends had been encouraging her to take a leap and make a move on Jack for a few weeks now, but Audrey was nervous. She had never made the first move in a relationship before and it had been so long since she kissed anyone who wasn't Paul. She also worried about what could happen if they did date and it didn't work out. They worked so well together right now and she couldn't imagine messing that up.
By the time she departed from her friends, she always felt confident that she would make a move, but then she would see Jack and her confidence would waiver, making her chicken out.
Jack was welcomed by Brian and Jen into their home for an end of summer get together. Jack walked inside and saw that Logan and Megan were already there, comfy on the couch while two small blonde haired girls were poking and prodding at Logan.
"Come on, Uncle Logan," the younger girl said. Jack figured this must be Jen and Brian's five-year old, Emma.
"Don't you want to play with us?" the older girl, seven-year old Katie, pouted purposefully, obviously knowing full well how cute this face was, as if she used it to get her way a lot.
Logan was saved from their attention as Brian called the girls over to them to meet Jack. Emma quickly skirted behind her mom's legs, obviously shy around new people. Katie, on the other hand, said hello happily.
"Why don't you help me take Jack on a tour of the house?" Brian suggested to the girls, trying to entertain them.
Brian took Jack around the house and the girls followed, Katie trying to narrate the tour while Emma just followed behind cautiously. When they were done with the tour, they headed back to the living room, and were quickly ditched by the girls who had sprinted past them in the hallway as they heard Audrey's voice.
When Jack and Brian had caught up to them, Jack saw Audrey hugging the two girls who had bright smiles on their faces. Jack could tell that the two girls loved Audrey very much, neither of them seeming to notice the wrapped presents that were next to Audrey like most kids would. They were trying really hard to tell Audrey everything that had happened to them since she had last seen them, talking over each other so much that Jack was sure that there was no way Audrey was following their stories. Yet, she was smiling and nodding and giving both of them an equal amount of attention.
"Hey," Audrey whispered, getting their attention. "I brought you two some gifts."
The girls now looked over to the gifts that Audrey had brought and became even more excited. Audrey handed each of them a gift and told them that the third gift was a gift for both of them. Audrey looked up to see Jen glaring at her.
"Why don't you open them in your rooms," Audrey ushered. The girls ran off with their gifts, giggling down the hallway.
"Audrey, we've talked about you spoiling them so much," Jen reprimanded. "Holidays and birthdays only from now on. You agreed."
"And what better holiday than the start of fall?" Audrey asked. Jen shook her head at her as they hugged hello. Audrey just smiled and walked past her, trying to avoid an argument, greeting Brian with a hug and then Jack, which took him by surprise, as she had never done that before.
It was a quick one-armed hug, her arm over his shoulder and across his back while he placed his hand on the small of her back, but Jack savored it, liking the feeling of her embrace which felt warm and comforting. Jack could smell the faintest hint of her perfume as she pulled away thinking he had never smelled anything so beautiful before in his life.
When they pulled apart, Jack and Audrey locked eyes with each other and smiled for a moment, both of them feeling the connection between them, before Jack followed Brian and Jen to the living room where they could all sit together. Audrey let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, feeling as though hugging Jack had increased her confidence in potentially making a move since he had been receptive of her hug and had crossed that barrier of getting particularly close to him without it being strange.
Audrey had very much enjoyed the brief hug, liking the feeling of his hand on her back, sending shivers up her spine. The pressure with which he held her had been nice too, gently but firmly enough that she felt protected and cared for. She could easily imagine herself wrapping her other arm around the back of his neck and kissing him while he held her close.
The six friends caught up with each other, having canceled drinks the previous night, each of them for various reasons. Then, Katie and Emma came out of their rooms, carrying new dolls, which Jack assumed were the gifts that Audrey gave them. Katie showed Jen her new doll and Emma tapped on Audrey's knee, shyly eyeing Jack who was sitting next to Audrey, still unsure of this new person in her house. Audrey bent down and Emma whispered in Audrey's ear.
Jack figured she must have asked to sit with her because Audrey lifted her and sat her on her lap. Emma cuddled into Audrey and Audrey ran her fingers through the girl's hair while Emma made her new doll walk across Audrey's leg. At one point, Emma lost her grip on the doll and it fell to the floor. Jack leaned down and picked it up for her and handed it to her.
"What do you say, Em?" Audrey asked her.
"Thank you," Emma whispered. She seemed a little less afraid after uttering those words, and looked at Jack with curiosity now.
"You're welcome," Jack said. "Does your doll have a name?"
Emma smiled. "Audrey. Because she's pretty like Auntie Audrey."
"I think that's very fitting," Jack told her with a smile, glancing at Audrey who smiled back at him.
"And - and she's really smart," Emma continued telling Jack. "She was reading books in my room and teaching my other dolls how to read."
Brian suggested that they take the party outside to the patio where he, Logan, and Jack began grilling burgers and chicken while the ladies got the rest of dinner ready, salad, rolls, fruit, corn on the cob, and condiments. Even Katie and Emma helped by setting the table. Then, Jack watched as Audrey ran around the yard with the little girls, a smile on his face as he thought about how amazing she was with them.
"I think she likes those kids more than she likes us," Logan commented, noticing that Jack was watching Audrey.
Brian laughed. "Hell, I know she likes them more. She has legitimately come over to our house to hang out with the girls before instead of us. I think she secretly hopes that we die so that she can become their guardian."
"Oh, is she their godmother?" Jack questioned.
"Yeah," Brian answered. He shook his head. "I still can't believe she and Paul never had kids."
Logan rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Paul's too self-centered to have kids."
"You don't like Audrey's husband?" Jack asked.
"He sucked," Logan said. "Total piece of shit. You'd be-"
"He wasn't evil," Brian interrupted, knowing that Logan was about to bring up the fact that Jack would be a better fit for Audrey. It was unspoken knowledge that Jack clearly liked Audrey but Brian knew Jack well enough to know that he wouldn't like being called out on it. "Paul was - inattentive. Selfish. He never did anything that didn't suit him, like hanging out with us, for example, but always expected Audrey to hang out with his friends or do things that he liked."
"He slowly sucked the light out of her," Logan added, clearly hating Paul more than Brian did. Jack knew by now that Logan tended to be a little bit more judgmental than Brian, either really liking someone or greatly disliking them, with not many people falling in between. And anyone who he felt was hurting someone he liked was destined to be on Logan's most wanted list. "I mean look at her now. She hasn't been this happy in so long."
Brian shrugged and nodded in agreement. They finished grilling and everyone settled in for dinner outside on a beautiful night, not too hot or cold. They talked and laughed and included the kids in their conversation. Jack liked getting to know Katie and Emma.
Katie, especially, made Jack smile, as her bold, outgoing personality reminded him of Kim when she was younger. Jack wished he had more memories of Kim as a child but it was hitting him as he reminisced just how absent he was because of work. He wished he had been around more. That he had gotten out of field work and found a desk job like he had now so he could be there for her more. If he had, Teri would still be alive and they would be raising a child just under Emma's age now. But, regrets wouldn't change anything.
Emma reminded him less of Kim and more of Chase's daughter, Angela, with her sweet nature and reserved side. Jack felt he related more to their approach and felt incredibly special when Angela or Emma would want to talk to him, knowing that they were harder to gain the trust of.
After dinner, the girls begged the adults to play with them. Audrey told them to go get the new toy she had brought them and they ran into the house to get it. They came back carrying a box together like a team. Inside the box was an outdoor bowling set, with plastic pins and bowling balls.
Audrey and Jen helped them set it up and everyone gathered around. They let the girls go first, taking turns knocking down the pins. Then, Katie handed off the bowling ball to her dad to play. Emma handed her ball to Jack.
"Your turn," she said sweetly. Jack thanked her and Emma took him by the hand and led him to the spot where they were rolling the ball from. She explained as if he might not be sure how to play. "You have to stand here and roll the ball and try to knock down all the pins. Okay?"
"Okay," Jack agreed. He rolled the ball and Emma ran down the lawn behind it, wanting to see how he did. Jack's ball had hit a rock and bounced a little off course, causing only four pins to be knocked down. Emma came back with the ball.
"It's okay!" She encouraged him. "You can go again."
"Hmm, where do you think I should aim it?" Jack asked her.
Emma looked happy that he asked her for advice. She pointed her arm at an angle to the right. "This way. And, really fast."
Jack nodded and did as he was told, this time knocking down the rest of the pins. Emma gave Jack a high five.
Audrey watched with a grin, liking how cute Jack was with kids, not having expected him to be so good with them. She had to say it was a highly attractive quality in him. She wondered if he wanted more kids. She had assumed that having a twenty-one year old daughter meant that he was past that stage in his life, but she couldn't help but wonder as she watched him interact with both of the girls if she had been wrong to presume that. She looked at him longingly until she was smacked playfully on the leg by Jen.
"Hey, stop that," Jen said.
"What?" Audrey asked.
"Looking at Jack like you want him to put a baby in you," Jen whispered, plainly.
"No, I-I-"
"Yes, you were," Jen insisted. "This is a family friendly party and the thoughts you were just thinking about him were definitely not family friendly."
Audrey rolled her eyes and sighed. Jen was right.
Towards the end of the night, Jack and Audrey were helping by cleaning up plates in the yard, while Logan and Megan did dishes in the kitchen and Jen and Brian put the girls to bed, way past their bedtime.
"So, you surprised me today. You were great with Katie and Emma," Audrey told Jack, as she stacked plates together.
"That surprises you?" Jack questioned.
Audrey shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem so serious sometimes, it's hard to imagine you playing games with kids."
"I like kids," Jack told her. "It seems like a lifetime ago that Kim was that age."
"Do you miss it?" Audrey asked.
Jack nodded. "I didn't realize how much until today."
Audrey could see a glint of sadness behind his eyes and wondered what he was thinking about. She didn't ask though, not wanting to press him for information. But, she was happily surprised when Jack spoke again to share.
"I missed a lot of it," Jack admitted. "Kim's childhood. I was in the army and CTU and I worked a lot more than I should have. I wish I had been there for more of it."
Audrey nodded in understanding and felt bad that Jack had that regret. She was sure he was also thinking of his wife who he probably wished he had spent more time with before she died.
"Do you think you ever want more kids?" Audrey questioned, busying herself with cleaning up so it would come off as a casual question rather than sounding like she was personally invested in his answer. Although she had given up the idea of having kids and willing to date someone who didn't want kids, she had to admit that she would be a lot happier in life if she could have a baby one day.
"Yeah, maybe," Jack answered, honestly. After Teri died, he had thought that his chance of having another child was over, never wanting to have a child with anyone other than her. But, now as he considered dating again and starting anew, he thought maybe it wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility. When he saw Audrey interacting with Katie and Emma today, Jack could actually picture a life with her, one where they had kids together, and he was excited about that prospect. He looked at Audrey's reaction and saw her smile slightly, knowing full well that she was pleased by his answer.
Jack and Audrey brought the dishes inside and Megan put them in the dishwasher. After cleaning, Audrey announced that she was going to head out, and said her goodbyes, Jack also agreeing that he would head home. They walked out to their cars together, their shoulders brushing against each other.
Audrey got into her car and tried to start it, finding that the engine just turned over. Audrey let out a frustrated grumble, trying to understand how her car had worked just fine to get here but now had a dead battery. Until she looked up and remembered that she had left one of the lights on in the car by the rearview mirror when she had been fixing her hair before going into Jen and Brian's house. It didn't help that she hadn't gotten a new car battery since - well, never.
A tap on the window came and it was Jack who had heard her car not start.
"Do you need me to jump start it?" Jack asked when Audrey opened the door.
Audrey sighed. "That would be great."
Jack pulled alongside her car and they opened the hoods of the cars. Jack attached the jumper cables and had Audrey try to start her car. After trying quite a few times, Jack concluded that the battery was completely dead.
"Let me give you a ride home," Jack offered. "You won't be able to get a new battery until tomorrow morning."
"Georgetown is the opposite direction from you," Audrey reminded him, knowing that he lived in Alexandria's Historic District which was only a ten minute drive from here. Instead, he would have to drive twenty minutes out of the way to drop her off and then thirty minutes home.
"So?" Jack asked. "I really don't mind."
Audrey bit her lip, feeling bad but not minding the idea of getting to spend a little more time with him. "Okay. But, I'm buying you lunch on Monday. I insist."
Jack was going to protest but Audrey got into the car before he could. Jack got into the driver's seat and drove towards her townhouse. He tried focusing his attention on his driving, wanting to make sure that he drove safely and not too fast, knowing that his days at CTU had given him quite the lead foot, and not wanting to scare Audrey or make her uncomfortable by his driving. He wanted her to feel safe.
"Jack," Audrey said, getting his attention by placing her hand on his arm which was resting on the divider between them.
Jack glanced at her and then back at the road. "Yeah?"
"You know you don't have to drive under the speed limit just because I'm in the car," Audrey told him, having picked up on the fact that he was not driving like his normal self. Although she had never driven with him, she had seen him pulling out of parking lots before and hadn't thought he was reckless by any means but certainly wasn't one to drive so slowly.
Jack chuckled and picked up the pace to a normal speed. "Okay. Sorry."
"I mean, I don't drive really fast," Audrey told him. "But, you were driving like my grandfather."
"Yeah, he's a slow driver?" Jack asked.
"Well, he died when I was in high school," Audrey explained. "But, yeah, he drove me home from school a lot after my mom died. It would take him like half an hour to go ten miles."
Jack smiled at her story. "Maybe he just wanted to spend more time with you."
Audrey looked over at Jack questioningly, wondering if he was implying that he had been driving slow to spend more time with her. They drove the rest of the way in silence, neither of them thinking that it was uncomfortable.
Jack pulled into a parking spot outside her townhouse. It was dark out and Jack didn't feel comfortable letting her just walk out of his car into the pitch blackness alone. So, before she could say goodbye in the car, Jack stepped out and Audrey followed suit.
Getting out of the car and walking with Jack to her door, Audrey had realized that this was the moment she had been waiting for. For them to be alone and in a non-working situation. In her head, she replayed Jen's voice trying to convince herself that Jack did in fact like her too and she tried to gain the confidence to kiss him. As they got to her door, Audrey almost chickened out, putting her keys in the door.
However, she knew that if she didn't do this now she would regret it. She took a deep breath and turned around to face Jack.
"Well, thank you," she said, looking into his deep blue eyes which watched her intensely. "For driving me home."
"Any time," Jack insisted.
Audrey's heart was pounding in her chest as she opened her arms and stepped closer to him for a hug just like she did with the rest of her friends as she was leaving. Jack happily hugged her. As they pulled back, they held onto each other's arms gently, Jack's fingers lightly brushing the undersides of her forearms while she held onto the tops of his forearms willing him not to step back.
Jack didn't step back, letting her hold onto him and looking into her green eyes closer than he had ever seen them before. Jack felt like he was breathing heavily with anticipation as she bit her lip, while her eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips, knowing exactly what she was about to do.
Audrey's nerves suddenly fell away when she looked back into Jack's eyes and saw that he was not trying to back away, but actually looked like he was pleading with her to do it.
She leaned in slightly and she saw him lean in, following her lead. She closed her eyes as their lips finally touched, feeling a spark between them instantly. Jack's lips were soft and he kissed her so gently that it felt almost dream-like and Audrey was worried that she might wake up at any moment and find out that this wasn't really happening.
Jack couldn't imagine a more perfect first kiss than this one, sweet and meaningful, both of them trying to learn each other slowly. After a few moments though, it set in for him that this was really happening, that he was finally kissing the woman he had been wanting to kiss for months now. Audrey had made the first move and now it was his turn to show her that he was equally interested in her. Jack deepened the kiss, still maintaining the slowness and softness that was there before, but now bringing one hand up to cup her cheek allowing him to kiss her with just a bit more pressure.
Audrey's heart leapt as Jack held her close, and Audrey let her lips part a little further, allowing their tongues to flick across each other's as they kissed. Audrey wrapped one arm around the back of Jack's neck, brushing her thumb across his skin, while the other hand moved from resting on his chest right over his heart downwards to his stomach as she felt his amazingly fit body through his shirt.
Neither of them wanted this kiss to end but eventually they both needed to catch their breaths. They pulled apart from the kiss but not from each other, Jack holding her close and resting their foreheads together. They were both silent, still thinking about the kiss. The hand that had been stroking Audrey's cheek left, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and traveled down her side until it reached her hip. As both of Jack's arms wrapped around her waist, Audrey put both arms around Jack's shoulders. They stood like that for a moment, holding each other while they looked into each other's eyes and their noses gently bumped together. They smiled.
"I should get going," Jack whispered.
"Goodnight, Jack," Audrey said as they let go of each other and stepped apart.
"Goodnight, Audrey," he replied. Audrey turned and opened her door. She stepped inside and turned back to smile at him one more time before closing the door behind her.
She leaned against the door and let out a breath of relief, unable to get the smile off her face. She was thrilled that Jack had been just as eager to kiss her as she was to kiss him, and she thought the kiss was absolutely incredible. She couldn't remember the last time a man had kissed her with such intent. It felt as though every movement and touch he made was made with the sole purpose of showing her that he cared for her and was attracted to her. Audrey was excited about the prospect of starting a relationship with him which she was sure would lead to her feeling this way more often, but she knew they would need to discuss this soon. For now, Audrey let herself replay the kiss in her head over and over.
Jack drove into work, earlier than necessary as he usually did, feeling nervous but excited to see Audrey. He had thought about their kiss all night afterwards and then again all Sunday. It was exciting to think that this moment, which he had told himself wouldn't happen, had finally come. But, there was still a lot to consider before jumping into a relationship with her.
All of the barriers that Jack had realized before were still at the forefront of his mind, wondering how exactly a relationship would work for them. At this point, he knew he had to discuss his concerns with her and make sure that they were both on the same page for what they wanted from all of this. He saw her office light on, and went to greet her, unable to wait to see her any longer.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hi," she replied with a smile. Jack smiled back at her, both of them knowing exactly what the other was smiling about. Jack closed the door behind him and approached her desk.
"We should talk about the other night," Jack told her, keeping his voice low. There was nobody else at work yet, but Jack didn't like the idea of talking about this at work. "Not here though. At lunch?"
"Yeah, that sounds good," Audrey agreed.
"Good," Jack said. "We'll talk then."
Audrey and Jack both felt that it was taking forever to get to lunch time. Eventually, it was time, and Audrey and Jack walked to a sandwich shop down the street, ordered their food, and found a quiet table in the back of the restaurant to talk.
"So?" Audrey said, not really knowing where to start this conversation.
"So," Jack said, also feeling the same uncertainty that she was. They smiled at each other. "Look, Audrey, I like you. And, I feel like in any other situation, this would be where I ask you on a date and we see where this goes, but it's more complicated than that."
Audrey nodded. "I know. Believe me, Jack, I've been thinking about it for a while. We work so well together and I wouldn't want that to change if we didn't work out."
Jack nodded in agreement.
"But, the more I thought about it," Audrey continued. "I think we're also both very reasonable and take our jobs seriously. If at some point you decided you were no longer interested, as long as you were honest with me and kind about it, which I can't imagine you not being, I wouldn't have any kind of ill-will or bitterness towards you that would affect the way we work together."
Jack considered it for a moment. "I feel the same way."
Audrey smiled, glad that they were in agreement. She studied Jack's face and saw that he had other worries as well. "What other concerns do you have?"
Jack chuckled. There were so many worries he had about dating, only a couple of them pertaining directly to her. He had plenty of concerns about his own ability to date, open up to someone, and be a reliable partner, as he hadn't always been that in the past. "Well, there's your father. Your husband. And, just the fact that I haven't dated somebody seriously in a very long time."
"Okay, my father," Audrey started, going through Jack's list. "What about him?"
"I'm not so sure he'd be okay with us dating," Jack said. "And, with us working so closely with him, that could be uncomfortable."
"Not if he doesn't know," Audrey replied.
"You wouldn't want to tell him?"
"No," Audrey answered.
"I'm not sure I'd be comfortable lying to him," Jack admitted. He remembered how shocked and hurt he felt when he had found out that Chase had been dating his daughter behind his back and didn't want to do the same to Secretary Heller.
"I understand," Audrey said. "But, at work, he's our boss. I wouldn't really tell my boss about my personal relationships. And, as my father, I wouldn't introduce him to someone I was dating until some time had passed and I felt really confident that the relationship was going well. So, yes, I wouldn't want to tell him right away. Not to mention that he's very traditional and wouldn't like the idea of me dating while still being married to Paul."
Jack bit his lip, still unsure.
"If he were to come right out and ask us about it, I wouldn't expect you to lie," Audrey told him.
Jack sighed. "Fair enough."
"Okay, my husband?" Audrey continued on his list.
"I mean, what do I need to say about it?" Jack asked. "You're married. That concerns me."
"We've been separated for four months now," Audrey reminded him.
"Separated doesn't mean it's over," Jack muttered. Audrey studied him, feeling like he was speaking from personal experience. "I don't want to be in the middle of it."
Audrey sighed. "I know a lot of people separate with the intention of taking a little time before reconciling. But, that's not what this is for me. I'm not in love with Paul anymore. I haven't been for about a year, maybe more. Right now, I honestly can't see any scenario that ends with Paul and I getting back together, whether you and I start a relationship or not."
Jack felt that Audrey's response was genuine. "And, if at some point you feel that change?"
"I would be honest with you about how I was feeling," Audrey promised.
"Okay," Jack agreed.
"And, not having dated in a while," Audrey brought up. "We're really in the same boat there."
"I know," Jack understood. The difference being that he had been through trauma that he wasn't sure he could open up about, that would greatly affect his ability to be vulnerable in a relationship. He still felt guilt about Teri's death and about pursuing someone new, as if he was betraying her if he ever let himself fall in love again. He also thought about the people he'd killed and tortured as part of his prior jobs that made him feel less than human and worried that he could never really explain this part of his life to someone without them recoiling.
However, Jack wanted to enter into this relationship with Audrey with the intention of building a meaningful relationship. They already had a solid foundation and Jack trusted her, putting his mind at ease that maybe he could open up to her more easily than he expected himself to. It might take time, but he wanted to be in a place in his life where he could have a connection with someone that made him excited for the future.
"Anything else?" Audrey asked, truly wanting to allay any fears he had.
Jack smiled at her. "No. Nothing else. So, then, Saturday? Do you want to go out to dinner?"
Audrey smiled wide and nodded. "Saturday sounds great."