October 2004

Jack brushed his hands against his pants, trying to get rid of any sweat that had formed from being nervous. He had been excited for this date all week, but now that it was here, he worried about making a good impression on Audrey. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous about that, obviously she liked him if the past few months had been any indication, but this was different. That was getting to know each other as co-workers and friends. This was to see if they were compatible romantically.

He took a deep breath and knocked on her door. When she opened the door, he was immediately blown away. Audrey was wearing a navy blue dress that hugged her body and was the perfect style in-between too formal and too casual. She was wearing a bit more makeup than usual, her normal makeup consisting of pale pink lipstick and mascara. Now, she was also wearing eyeliner and a silvery-gray eyeshadow that was subtle but highlighted her green eyes.

"Wow," he muttered, not even realizing that he had said it out loud. He looked into her eyes and saw her smile. "You look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you," Audrey said, blushing slightly. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten dressed up like this and had taken her time with it, wanting to make sure she looked perfect for this exciting moment. She looked at Jack who was wearing navy slacks and a pale blue button up shirt that went nicely with his eyes. "You look very handsome."

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Let me just grab my purse," Audrey replied. She turned around and went back into her living room and Jack stepped inside the doorway. He watched her walk away, now noticing how the back of her dress dropped low on her back, showing him some skin that he had never seen on her before. Her skin looked so smooth and he loved the way her blonde hair contrasted with her tan skin, the waves falling effortlessly down her back.

Audrey grabbed her purse and went back to Jack, now ready for their date. Jack led her to his car, placing a hand on the small of her back, touching the skin that he had just been admiring. He opened the car door for her and then they set off to their dinner reservation.

Jack took Audrey to a nice restaurant in Washington, one that had a romantic atmosphere without being overly stuffy. It was the perfect setting for a date, the lighting dimmed, and a candle on the table.

Any worries Jack had about knowing what to talk about with Audrey fell away as they sat down. The conversation flowed naturally, as it always did when they were together. They started by talking about their friends, finding it easy to start there since it was a familiar topic to both of them. Then, Jack told her about Kim and where she was at in her life and Audrey asked questions about her that helped to give her a better idea of what she was like, knowing that Kim was obviously the most important person in Jack's life. Audrey told Jack more about why she went into government work, finding that Audrey's values aligned well with his own. Jack shared his own story of deciding to join the military for similar moral reasons, mentioning how his family had expected him to join the family business and how it strained his relationship with them when he didn't, without delving too deep into his issues with his family. Jack appreciated how Audrey listened so intently without judgment or asking too many questions, and at some point he had reached across the table for her hand which he now held in his, brushing his thumb over her knuckles gently.

When they had finished their meals and dessert, the waiter dropped off the check. Jack grabbed it and began to pull out his wallet.

"Oh, you don't have to," Audrey protested, not wanting him to feel obligated to pay for her.

"I'd like to," Jack insisted, firmly. "If that's okay with you."

"Okay," Audrey smiled, liking that Jack wanted to treat her to a nice meal. "Thank you."

After dinner, Jack and Audrey left the restaurant and began to walk to the car. Both of them walked slowly, neither of them ready to get in the car and head home where the date would end. Just as they got to the car, Audrey turned to Jack.

"Hey, do you maybe want to walk around for a bit?" Audrey asked him, hoping that he was thinking the same way that she was about not wanting to end their date yet.

"Yes," Jack agreed with a smile. "I'd love to."

They turned and headed towards the Capitol region, holding hands and leaning against each other. They walked around the National Mall which was illuminated with lights which Jack had yet to see. It was a very romantic walk as they passed fountains and monuments with the moon overhead. They continued talking as they walked.

Jack and Audrey had no sense of time during their walk, both thinking that they could do this forever. It was late when they finally made it back to the car and both of them agreed they should head back.

Jack drove her home, one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. When they pulled up to her townhouse, Jack got out and opened Audrey's door for her, making Audrey smile again. They walked to her door, turning to each other naturally when they arrived, and Jack leaned in to kiss her, having wanted to since their last kiss.

Audrey didn't think it was possible for this kiss to be better than the last, but she was proven wrong. It felt more comfortable, less questioning of what might happen between them, and more excitement knowing that they were heading into this relationship.

Audrey loved how Jack held her in place, his hand firmly pressing on her bare lower back while his other hand traced up and down her spine and her sides, sending shivers through her. Audrey ran her hands over his muscular shoulders as they kissed.

When the kiss ended, Jack tucked a strand of hair behind her ear gently, as they smiled at each other. They said goodnight to each other and Jack left, feeling that this was going to be the start of something amazing.

The weeks were getting colder, but Jack and Audrey both felt an enormous feeling of warmth inside as their relationship was progressing. They found themselves spending more and more time together, starting with a date each weekend and then beginning to extend it to dates on random weeknights after work too. They did various things on these dates from the usual dinner date to exploring the sights of Washington to going for runs like they had done together in Paris. Neither of them found what they were doing to be too important; they were just happy in each other's company.

Physically, they had talked to each other about moving slowly, neither of them wanting to rush into anything sexual too soon. Jack wanted to be sure that their connection was strong enough, not wanting it to be more awkward for either of them if things didn't work out. He was taking this relationship seriously and wanted to make sure he wasn't mistaking feelings of lust and passion for intimacy and affection. Audrey also wanted to wait a bit, being someone who wouldn't sleep with a man until she truly trusted him and his intentions, having had a previous relationship that had made her weary of introducing sex into a relationship.

However, the physical connection between them was there. They constantly found themselves holding hands and giving gentle touches on the arm, shoulder, or back. They were kissing more now, too, not just at the end of the date, but also at the beginning to greet each other, or in the middle of their dates when they were walking and would get caught up in each other's eyes.

At work, they had figured out how to have the right balance between clearly being in a relationship and seeming totally indifferent towards each other, having found it hard the first week to stop smiling at each other and then overcompensating by pretending they barely knew each other. Luckily, Secretary Heller had been out of the office that week and they had gotten the appropriate level of work friendliness down before having to see him again. They would still eat their lunches together a couple times a week like before they had started dating, which was nice because they got to spend a little more time together.

One afternoon, Jack was moving some of the paperwork off his desk while Audrey went to the staff room to heat her lunch. He had made room for her in the seat across from him just as she came in. Jack smelled the air as she walked in, once again getting the scent of some amazing leftovers she had brought.

"What'd you bring today?" he asked her, as she sat.

"Just a pork chop and green beans," she answered casually, picking up her fork. Jack smiled, thinking it was funny how she acted like it was no big deal, when he looked at her food and thought it was restaurant quality food, maybe even better. The just-a-pork-chop she had mentioned was really a pan-seared cranberry stuffed pork chop with rosemary. Jack was always impressed when she'd bring in her home cooked leftovers, thinking it looked delicious.

"What?" she asked, noticing Jack's smile. A smile broke out onto her face too, always smiling whenever she saw him do it too.

"Have you always been a good cook?" Jack asked her.

Audrey looked down at her food and then back up at Jack. "What makes you think I am? You've never had my cooking."

"I don't think you need to taste something to know it's good," Jack replied.

Audrey shrugged. "Maybe you should try it sometime and find out. How about I cook for you on Saturday at my place?"

"Sure, but only if you let me help," Jack insisted.

"Deal," Audrey agreed.

Audrey was excited for their date at her townhouse, not having had much opportunity in their previous dates to really talk too much about more personal topics of their lives since they had always been in public. She was also excited to cook for him, finding that cooking for yourself is not nearly as enjoyable as cooking for someone else.

When the knock on the door came, Audrey excitedly went to answer it and was surprised to see Jack with a bouquet of flowers whose colors were perfect for the fall season. Jack had remembered Audrey saying that fall was her favorite season. She loved the weather, the decorations, the apple cider, and Thanksgiving.

"Hey," he greeted, liking how her eyes lit up at the sight of the flowers.

"Hey," she replied, moving to the side to let him in.

"These are for you," Jack said, handing her the flowers.

"They're so beautiful," Audrey said through a smile. "Thank you."

They greeted each other with a soft, meaningful kiss, before heading into the kitchen where Audrey put the flowers into a vase. Then, they started preparing dinner, Audrey telling Jack what he could do to help like cutting the potatoes and carrots, pouring wine, and setting the table, while she focused on preparing and seasoning the beef and sauce for beef bourguignon. Once everything was started, they had some time to wait before it was finished and Audrey took Jack by the hand and gave him a full tour of her place since he had only been there once before and had essentially stuck to the living room.

Jack felt like he could really get to know her by looking at the details of her apartment. He liked seeing the picture frames containing her favorite pictures of her family and friends. He liked looking at her CDs and movies to see her tastes. Classic rock for music, which aligned well with his music preferences. Romantic comedies for movies. He expected something similar from her books, but although there were some romance novels mixed in, he mostly saw nonfiction books and first accounts of American history and government, confirming for him that she had probably chosen the right career path.

When dinner was ready, Audrey told Jack to sit while she got their dinner onto the plates. Jack was impressed once again as he saw the food she had made. The beef bourguignon looked delicious, the perfect comfort meal as the weather was getting chillier each day. Jack complimented her cooking multiple times while they ate and Audrey smiled every time, loving that he liked it so much.

After dinner, Audrey surprised Jack with warm caramel apple pastries that she baked, served with vanilla ice cream. Jack decided that somehow he liked this even better than dinner.

"So now that I've officially confirmed that you can cook," Jack mused. "Will you tell me where you learned to cook like this?"

"Well, I learned to bake from my mom," Audrey told him. "But, not surprisingly, I wasn't too interested in cooking real food as a kid, I just wanted desserts, so I didn't get a chance to learn to cook from her. Which was a shame because she was so good at it. And, meals never quite tasted right after she died, no matter who made them. So I figured I'd try and I started just by following recipes from cookbooks and then I learned to make little adjustments until I could make certain things taste just the way she did."

"You still miss her a lot," Jack commented.

"Yeah, I do."

"I saw that picture of you and your parents on the beach when you were little. When I first looked, I thought your mother was you until I saw how much younger your father looked. You look so much like her."

Audrey nodded and smiled. "Yeah. My dad tells me that all the time. What about you? Are both your parents still alive?"

"My father is but we don't speak anymore. My mother died when I was really young. I honestly don't remember her," Jack answered.

"Was it hard growing up without her?" Audrey asked, getting the feeling that Jack might be more reluctant to open up about why he no longer spoke to his father. He had mentioned before that his father had wanted him to join the family business and that he didn't, but had left it at that.

"Um," Jack thought, imagining what his life might have been like with a mother. It may have been a bit more loving and nurturing, but the overall outcome probably would have been the same. "It probably wouldn't have been much different. My father was pretty controlling and can't imagine that any woman could have stopped him from being that way."

"What about you and your brother? Did you two have a better relationship?"

Jack shrugged. "Not really, no. He actually wanted to be a part of BXJ, my father's company, so it was easy for my father to use that as sort of a why-can't-you-be-more-like-Gray lesson. I think my father almost purposefully tried pinning us against each other growing up. Like he would only give us praise or attention until the other did something more impressive."

"That sounds awful," Audrey said, not understanding how a father could act like that.

"It wasn't all bad. We had a butler, Sam, who was good to me," Jack shrugged. He was ready to turn the conversation off of himself. "You have a brother too, right?"

"Yeah, Richard. My half-brother. He's a rebellious sort, just choosing whatever political views will piss off our father the most. He's in his late twenties and acts like he's twelve. "

After a few minutes, they cleaned up their dishes and then went to the living room, where they sat together on the love seat by the fireplace. Audrey felt that she couldn't possibly be any cozier than she was right now, with the fire warming them and Jack's arm around her shoulders. Audrey rested her head in the crook of his shoulder and rested her hand on his chest. After a little while, her legs draped over his and Jack used his other hand to rub her lower leg.

Jack smiled at Audrey cuddling against him. It was something they hadn't done yet in their relationship. There was hugging and kissing and sweet touches, but this was a different feeling. It felt more intimate and relaxed. Being in her home was more private and it was nice to finally be completely alone with her and getting a sense of what a life with her might look like.

Of course, given his history, that thought terrified him. To think he could get to a point where he might fall in love again just to lose her in the same way he lost Teri was agonizing to consider. His job had put Teri in danger. His job, in addition to his grief, had prevented him from holding a meaningful relationship after her death. He had to keep reminding himself that he was no longer in that job. He could have a normal, healthy relationship.

He felt Audrey's finger touch his cheek, taking him out of his thoughts. He looked down at her, her head still relaxed against him, but she looked at him questioningly, wishing to know what was going on inside his head. Jack leaned forward and kissed her, his hand under her chin to tilt her head up to him.

The kiss turned more passionate than any kiss they'd had so far, finally having a kiss in private rather than out in the open. Their mouths pressed hard against each other's and their kisses traveled to each other's jawlines. Audrey's hands gripped his shirt to pull him into her. Jack's one arm was still around her shoulders, pulling her into him, while he stroked the soft skin of her leg. When the kiss reached its natural conclusion, they found themselves cuddled even closer together their foreheads pressed together, both of them enjoying just being close to each other.

The night ended with more kisses as Audrey walked him to the door, both of them feeling that tonight had brought them to a whole new level of comfort with each other. Audrey was thrilled by how open Jack was, thinking it might take him a while to really trust her enough to share unhappy details of his life with her. She loved getting to know more about his family, thinking it was incredible that he had gone against his father and chose a path that was more suited for him. An honorable path that allowed him to save so many lives. She couldn't believe that his father was disappointed in that.

Jack was also happy that he had told her more about his family, thinking it wasn't too painful of a topic and he could really gauge how Audrey might handle some of the not so pretty details of his past. She had been more than perfect, listening intently, asking questions that weren't too invasive, and just making him feel comfortable. And, it felt good to finally talk to someone about his family. He hadn't talked to anyone about them since he cut them out of his life after Teri's funeral. He hadn't been ready to talk to Audrey about that yet, but felt he could in the future if it came up again.