A/N: Thanks helenawrites for the review and to everyone who has stuck with me through this story. Unfortunately, we are approaching the end: Day 4 is almost here and this story leads right into it.

March 2005

Audrey had barely slept last night, thinking over every second that she had spent with Jack the night before, analyzing whether she had said something to upset him. They had gone to dinner with their friends and then taken a walk just the two of them around the city before Jack had announced that he would spend the night at his own apartment. He claimed that he needed to get more clothes, as he still occasionally had to do this. However, he usually would go get his things and bring them back home the same night. Audrey offered to come with him and stay with him at his apartment but Jack made a joke about the comfortableness of her bed and not wanting her to have to give up such a luxury. Audrey had dropped it, sensing that Jack just needed a night alone.

But, as she thought over their interaction, she started to question if he was being totally honest with her. For one, she saw that he still had plenty of clean clothes at her apartment. She also recognized that his mood seemed different over the last couple days, or maybe she was just overthinking things. Did he seem quieter than usual? A little more focused on work and a little less attentive on their conversations?

She was panicking. She wanted to know that she had made all these doubts up in her head but the thought that Jack might be pulling away from her made her feel sick to her stomach.

She picked up her cell phone and considered whether to call him. If he was needing space, she was sure that her phone call would just push him away further. But, if she didn't call, would he think she didn't care?

She chose to text him. It was something he could ignore if he didn't want to hear from her while still knowing that she was thinking of him.

Missed you last night.

She stared at her phone, willing a response to come. When it didn't, she knew she had to distract herself. She began cleaning and organizing her townhouse, not missing a single nook or cranny.

Jack was already three beers in and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. He saw Audrey's text and typed up a response, but felt it was insufficient, knowing that she wanted to know when he would be back to her. He decided against sending the message wanting to have more answers for her.

Today, he needed to drink. He wasn't sure why it was hitting him so hard this year. Other years, he had felt numb. This year, he felt like he was losing his sanity. He felt sick to his stomach all week. He felt sad, breaking into tears just an hour ago. Wasn't grief supposed to get better with time?

When Kim called him, he answered, despite not wanting to think about how his job, his inability to see past Nina's lies, had cost Kim her mother's life on this day several years ago.

"Hi sweetheart," Jack answered, his tone sympathetic.

"Hi Dad," Kim replied. "How are you feeling today?"

Jack cleared his throat. How do you answer that question so that people know you're not suicidal but that you also aren't having the best time of your life? "Well, you know. As expected. How are you?"

"I miss Mom," Kim admitted, breaking into tears. "I miss talking about her. I miss her hugs."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Jack apologized, her sadness making him feel even more guilty. "I miss her too."

They spent the next several minutes reminiscing about Teri. In the moment, Jack felt that talking about Teri made him feel better. He told Kim more about how he and Teri had gotten together, stories from when they were dating, stories from when Kim was a baby and how Teri had been such a great mother.

However, when the phone call ended, Jack went back to his beer and blocking out the rest of the world. He got another text message from Audrey: Hey, are we okay?

"Dammit, Audrey," Jack muttered under his breath. "No, we aren't okay."

The truth was that he was feeling overly guilty about Teri this year because of his relationship with Audrey. He was developing serious feelings for Audrey. But, it felt like he was betraying Teri. He had never given Teri the time and attention that he was giving Audrey in their relationship. He had never opened up to Teri about his feelings like he did with Audrey - present situation excluded - nobody wants to hear that their boyfriend feels guilty for being with them.

Audrey was also different from Teri in so many ways. Audrey came from money, was prim and proper, and was the type of woman that Teri and Jack would have judged back when they were younger. Jack knew Audrey wasn't uppity the way he and Teri used to think of people who came from similar backgrounds as her, but he was sure that if Teri were somehow watching over him that she would be surprised by his choice to be with Audrey. He wondered if Teri would feel hurt that he hadn't chosen to be with someone more like her if he had truly loved her so much.

These thoughts were tearing Jack up inside. He hoped he would feel better tomorrow and be able to explain away his odd behavior to Audrey. For now, he'd continue drinking.

Audrey paced around the living room, feeling frustrated. She was worried. She had moved past the overanalyzing whether their relationship was okay and had turned her attention to worrying about whether Jack was okay. No answer from him seemed out of character. Had he ever made it to his apartment? Had something happened to him while he was there?

Jack, please let me know you are okay. Or, I will come to your apartment.

Audrey waited anxiously. Feeling both relieved but saddened by his response.

I'm fine. Sorry. Let's talk tomorrow.

On the one hand, she was happy to know that he was safe. On the other hand, she now knew that he had been ignoring her and that he was not coming home today. She felt like her heart was clenching. She crawled into bed and cried.

Jack woke up feeling better. The anniversary of Teri's death and the build up to that day seemed to have haunted him but, now that it was behind him, he realized that he shouldn't feel guilty for being with Audrey. That Teri would be proud of him for being able to finally put a relationship before his job and for turning his life around. Maybe it was good that Audrey was so different from Teri, making it seem less like he was replacing Teri and more like he was just opening his heart to something entirely new.

Jack hesitated before entering the townhouse, trying to ready himself for what he assumed would be a very pissed off Audrey. He had ignored her all day yesterday to the point that she thought something bad had happened to him. Now he had to apologize and try to explain. He still wasn't sure what he'd say.

He walked in and saw that the place was cleaner than usual and wondered if that's what Audrey did when she was upset. However, Audrey approached him looking not mad, but nervous.

"Hey," he said, as she moved closer.

"Hi," Audrey said, so quietly that Jack almost didn't hear her. She didn't reach out for him for a hug and barely looked him in the eye.

"Um," Jack started. "I don't even know where to begin."

"It's okay, Jack. You can just say it," Audrey insisted, tears coming to her eyes.

"Say what?" Jack asked, confused.

"That it's over between us," Audrey said, still not looking at him. "I already know that's what this is."

"No, Audrey, no," Jack sighed, feeling terrible for making her think he was going to end their relationship. She was obviously devastated by this and was trying to hold it together. "Come here."

Jack pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you think that."

"So, what was yesterday about?" Audrey asked him, wiping her eyes.

Jack sighed. "Yesterday was the anniversary of Teri's death."

"Oh," Audrey said, not expecting that.

"I just needed to be alone," Jack explained as they went to the couch to sit.

Audrey nodded in understanding. "Why didn't you just tell me that? I would have understood."

"I know you would have. You always do," Jack agreed, knowing that Audrey always had the perfect responses to the hard parts of life. "I don't know why I didn't tell you. I was not handling it well this year. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Jack," Audrey insisted, taking his hand and breathing for what felt like the first time in a day.

"No, it's not," Jack said. "I shouldn't have let you worry like that. You deserve better."

"Really, Jack, it's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Easier said than done," Jack muttered.

"Why?" Audrey asked, moving into their usual position on the couch, Jack laying back and Audrey lying with her back against his chest.

"I mean, you read my file. You know that what happened to her was my fault," Jack said.

Audrey looked up at him confused momentarily before resuming her comfortable position. "Like I've said before, your file doesn't tell me everything. And, from what I remember reading, it wasn't your fault at all."

"How do you figure that?" Jack asked, wanting to hear what she already knew.

"Well, it said Teri was killed by Nina Myers who was a mole at CTU. How is it anyone but Myers' fault?"

"I was her supervisor and didn't see that she was working with terrorists," Jack countered. He thought of adding that he was with her romantically and didn't notice then either, but couldn't admit to that. It still made him feel sick.

"She had everyone fooled, Jack. I'm sure she didn't give you any signs that she might not be loyal to CTU," Audrey insisted.

"I guess," Jack half-heartedly agreed. "But, it was still my job, the fact Teri was at CTU at all that got her killed. I should have quit long before that day."

Audrey shook her head, not knowing how Jack could handle all of this guilt he carried around. She knew there wasn't much she could say that would make him think otherwise, but at the very least, she wanted him to know that she believed it wasn't his fault. "And if you had quit, maybe she still would have died. From a nuclear weapon going off in Los Angeles or from the Cordilla virus because you weren't there to stop those things from happening. The point being that we can't predict what's going to happen and the only person to blame is the one who pulled the trigger."

Jack shrugged, knowing that she had a point. He squeezed his arms which were wrapped around her from behind together and kissed her shoulder, thanking her for trying to get him to see things differently. They sat in silence for a while.

"What was Teri like?" Audrey asked. "If you want to talk about her, I'd love to know."

Jack considered whether or not this was a good idea. He really only ever shared memories of Teri with Kim. But, it might be nice to share with Audrey. It was always nice sharing things with her. She truly listened to him and made him feel like the things he said were important.

"She was an artist. A really good one," Jack told Audrey. He told her about her accomplishments as an artist, about how he and Teri met after he had left the army, fell in love, got married, and had Kim all in a record amount of time. From Jack's anecdotes, Audrey could tell that Teri was patient and kind, and obviously not a type A personality like herself. Audrey wished she could be as easy-going as Teri was.

"It sounds like you two really had the perfect marriage," Audrey commented, thinking that they seemed right for each other. Jack was an incredible man and partner and Teri sounded the same.

Jack swallowed hard, not liking to admit it. "It wasn't."

"Oh, it just seemed like-"

"I know," Jack said. "I only told you the parts I like to remember. The truth is that my job made me absent and not able to tell her things and it did take a toll on us. We separated for a while and I only moved back in a short time before she died."

"That's nothing to be ashamed about," Audrey insisted, sensing that he felt embarrassed for their marriage having problems. "You were able to work it out. That's what matters."

Jack nodded, still not able to admit the real reason he felt shame for the separation. His affair with Nina. He still felt sick at the thought of her hands on him, their lips crashing into each other's. He pushed the thought away.

"Thank you for listening," Jack said to Audrey, ready to change the conversation. Audrey turned and smiled at him before kissing him, laying the subject of Teri to rest. Audrey was happy with the information Jack had chosen to share with her and felt her heart swelling even more for him.