The first city/village they came to was an exercise in medieval experience. They'd had the stone age experiment over the past fourteen years, but now they got to see all the wagons, the veggie booths, the 'hear ye hear ye,' the stocks, the knights, the creepy crones hanging out in corners to eye them suspiciously. Even if they had been stupid enough to bring Eijiro in with them, the narrow streets didn't have room enough to allow him.
Izuku yanked Bakugou out of the way just as someone tossed out what was unmistakable a chamberpot of pee.
"What the hell! More civilized my ass!" he'd roared.
Izuku clamped a hand around his mouth, gave those staring an awkward chuckle, and hauled him along.
Katsuki managed to claw off his friend's hand a few blocks later.
"I change my mind! We're sleeping outside tonight. God damn, the street's getting on my cloak." And now he knew that the mud wasn't all made from rain. Disgusting.
"Yeah, this makes me wonder why I was so excited," said Mina, who wore Izuku's cloak so she could keep the hood over her head. It didn't completely hide her unusual pinkness, but it did make it less noticeable. They'd tried to leave her behind with Eijiro but she'd pitched a fit about them not being able to tell her what to do and that seeing human villages was part of the whole reason she was traveling with them.
"But we need more provisions-" started Izuku.
"Like hell, I'll set a few traps-"
"I hunt great-"
"We need vegetables!" barked Izuku. "And fruit! Fiber! I haven't defecated in a week because of you!"
Katsuki blinked. "TMI."
Mina giggled.
Sure they could have foraged for wild vegetables and fruit. But since Izuku and Katsuki only knew the wasteland flora, they couldn't tell which was edible in the forest and which wasn't. Mina was carnivorous so she had never bothered to learn about which plants were edible and which weren't.
Thus, in the village, they moseyed past the stalls for fruit and vegetables with the few sad coins Mina had happened to bring along with her, scavenged from poor humans who hadn't been so interesting when they'd wandered into naga territory.
"These apples look like shit."
"They aren't cross-bred for centuries and perfected by modern industrial agriculture and then specifically selected by grocery stores for appearance."
"Oh my god, nerd down," said Katsuki.
"Big words," said Mina, with a hint of awe.
The stall keeper, a middle-aged balding man with too much hair on his forearms, was squinting at Mina.
Mina met his eye and smiled.
"Hi!"
He blinked once. Twice.
Then started screaming.
"Shit," said Katsuki, moving to grab the back of her neck-
Just as Izuku punched the stall keeper. Square in the nose.
He flew back, hit his head on the side of the building behind him, then slid down, out cold.
The three of them stared for an entire second, not breathing.
"Zuku…what the hell."
"Reflex?" Izuku said, looking just as shocked by his actions as the others.
"Um, guys, the other peoples are staring."
Because not being noticed by the passersby was too much to ask for. Though, strangely enough, they didn't make a move. In fact, they just stood there, wide-eyed like deer caught by the eye of a predator. When Katsuki moved to look at one, they'd shift their eyes away, not meeting his gaze. One lady stuffed her child behind her, but didn't otherwise move.
Izuku cleared his throat.
"I, uh, we mean you no harm," he said weakly.
And then, it clicked.
"Put your fucking hands down," he hissed in Izuku's ear. "Look at them."
"What the heck am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Think about what they're seeing."
Izuku scowled and squinted.
Katsuki saw it the moment Izuku got it.
"Oh," he said quietly.
Everyone nearby wore ragged, earthy colored clothes and were at least a head shorter than Izuku and Katsuki, even the tallest man. The baggy clothes couldn't hide the skinny wrists or knobby knees, and while their faces weren't hollow and they didn't look starved, it was clear these people hadn't lived the kind of life that would build serious muscle and bone like Katsuki and Izuku had.
These people weren't being weird. They were being smart.
It probably helped that Katsuki was still shirtless from burning up his tunic in the fight with the fairy-friended naga. Nothing to distract from his gazillion ab muscles.
Katsuki smirked. The onlookers flinched.
"Go back to Eijiro, Pinky," he turned back to the apple stall. "Don't make me say it twice."
She pouted. "Lame." But she didn't protest further and stomped off.
Meanwhile, Katsuki snagged a burlap sack from a pile next to the unconscious stall keeper and started picking out apples.
"Kaachan," Izuku hissed. "You can't-that's stealing!"
"You better start figuring out a payment then, eh?"
Having more clothes than Katsuki had come with the added bonus of having more pockets, so Izuku had been labeled the great money bearer.
Izuku still jutted out his jaw in disapproval as he counted out some copper coins, went around the stall, and tucked them into the poor man's pockets.
The man groaned.
"Yep, well, that's what you get for screaming in people's faces randomly," said Katsuki. He stuffed the bag of apples in Izuku's chest the moment he'd come back around. "Fiber. Shit away."
"Sure, Kacchan, I'll just squat right here," he rolled his eyes. "You're so crude."
"You're the one declaring your pooping status. Now let's find some carrots. And onions. I fucking love onions."
People parted before them like cockroaches in the morning light.
Katsuki shamelessly preened in it. Parting crowds by the mere vision of his chiseled form. It was…sublime.
He didn't have to look to know Izuku was rolling his eyes, but he didn't see Izuku slouching to try and hide his bulging biceps either.
"You'd think, living where things actually grow, they'd be better off than us," said Izuku out the side of his mouth. "You don't think something's…up, do you?"
"Big government's usually shit."
"Or, like, a famine or something."
"They ain't starving, they're just dinky. Nutrition and childhood development and that shit."
"And I'd wager they don't have the, well, warrior culture that we have."
"If they're too lazy to throw their shit somewhere other than where people are walking I doubt they have the gonads to train. You don't think these apples will give us the plague or something, do you?"
"Why do you think I haven't eaten one yet? I got some soap back at camp I was planning to wash them with."
"Will soap be enough?"
"Well, maybe catching a bug or too will help us. You know the arrival of Columbus and the Spaniards ended up wiping out the natives of the 'New World' through new human germs alone, right?"
Katsuki gave Izuku a look.
"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that," said Izuku with an uneasy grin at a passing couple of girls-who scuttled to the otherside of the street at the sight of them. "But we can't avoid people forever."
"...other towns better damn well be cleaner than this pigsty."
It really was an insult that their tribe was called savages when these people walked around in human muck and only grew to chin height.
They'd bought their onions and just found a gem of a stall that sold carrots the size of their faces when the ominous sound of clanking metal came around the bend. Three knights, dressed head to toe in plated armor, rode through the dirty streets on heavy-footed horses. Katsuki kept his eyes to the carrots, hoping they'd just pass by, fully expecting them to pass by, because two fur-caped randos buying carrots wasn't anything to send the calvary for, when he heard the horses trot to a stop behind them.
"You, barbarians from the northern lands," said a much to self-important voice. "State your purpose."
"Carrots," Katsuki waved one over his shoulder. He was certain the moment he turned around and actually saw them he'd see red. He hadn't had enough time to get over his aversion to tin cans on horses.
"Y-yeah, you seen the size of these?" Izuku did his awkward chuckle.
"Turn around."
"Uh, yes sir. Kacchan."
Katsuki sighed big and long, put the carrot back, glanced at the cowering old lady at the stall, then slowly turned.
…Yep. He hated them as much as he thought he would.
"What?" he growled.
When the lone man without a helmet just stared at him (he was a fugly normie with greasy brown hair and a lame-ass mustache), the knights beside him started glancing at him. Izuku started fidgeting nervously.
Katsuki arched an eyebrow. "What? Never seen a man's chest before?"
"Not one half naked in public, no," said Mustachey, who then cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to come with us to visit our lord."
Katsuki sneered. "What? Being shirtless a crime?"
"No. But we very well know your tribe's bloodthirsty tendencies and it would be unwise of us to just ignore your presence."
"We're just buying veggies," said Izuku weakly.
"It's up to our lord to decide what to do with you, not mine. Come along peacefully and we can make this quick."
Katsuki exchanged a glance with Izuku, but, in the end, picking a fight would take more effort and it wasn't like they were in a HUGE rush. The men offered them a rid on the backs of their horses, and Izuku and Katsuki only agreed because they were huge horses bred to be able to carry a knight in full armor on their back. They refused to hug another man, though, and watched the world pass by on their hind quarters.
"Getting in all that armor must be a pain," said Izuku. "Is there a special occasion?"
"We always have some of the knights dressed in their armor for both practice and just in case," said the man Izuku rode with from within the depths of their helmet. "And yes, they do take some time, but with help it goes by quite quickly."
"We don't have lots of iron where we are from, so all our armor is made from hardened hide or leather," Izuku continued.
"Just go ahead and tell them all our secrets, why don't ya?" growled Katsuki.
"It's alright, we already knew that," said the greasy mustachio normie guiding them.
"Speak for yourself, sir, my grandpa always told me the northern barbarians hardened their own skin to armor by drinking powdered dragon scales and letting themselves be beaten by the elements."
Katsuki guffawed while Izuku grinned sheepishly.
"Dumbass. I'm the strongest warrior in my tribe, my skin look any different to you?"
"Well-"
"Strongest?" Izuku pouted. "I beat you half the time. If anything we share that title."
"No one would think it with your dorky baby face.
"I don't beat people with my face."
"Oh! But I'd love to see it."
"Are you two brothers?" asked the knight behind Katsuki.
"Nah." Katsuki suddenly wondered why his parents never had any other kids. Maybe he was more than they could handle. It wasn't like his tribe excelled in effective birth control, though he'd heard of the occasional miscarriage and stillbirth.
The knight's willingness to make small talk went a long way in softening Katsuki's initial hatred of them. He decided he just hated what they stood for, not the people themselves, but he was always ready to change his opinion should they do something turdy. Maybe he'd always have the initial urge to punch any cavalrymen. Maybe he just didn't like horses. Either or, fifteen extra years of living had done a lot to settle him down in regards to 'attack first, ask question later' when it came to his prejudices.
He wasn't jumping up to make friends anytime soon, though. Izuku was the one who did most of the talking. Katsuki just corrected Izuku when he had to. For one, he was the strongest. Freaking freckle princess had nothing on him.
The castle that came into view on the other side of the open gates was much smaller than he had expected. It was more like a two story stone fortress than a castle, elegance be damned. The courtyard they crossed had been paved once upon a time, but patches of earth had made their way back into being. A scattering of men dressed in light tunics and pants trained with various weapons on dummies or shot arrows into targets. Katsuki found himself frowning at the number of them, as well as their skinny, subpar appearance.
"Is that a grandpa over there?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Sure enough, one of five archers practicing in the corner of the yard had a ring of gray hair around his head and wrinkles visible even from there.
All three knights, grease-stache included, exchanged looks.
"The lord should explain," said Mustachio stiffly.
"These aren't our best men, for sure-"
"Dieves."
The knight who had spoken up clamped his mouth closed hard.
Katsuki couldn't see why admitting to having old soldiers was sensitive information until he saw the look on Izuku's face.
All good feelings the friendly knights had nurtured vanished.
The extra 15 years of living was just enough for Katsuki to keep his mouth shut until they dismounted from the horses and were led up a short flight of stairs, hallway, and double doors to what had to be a great hall, with long tables that spanned the huge room, wooden rafters, and a stone throne at the other end.
The lord wasn't on the throne, though. He was at the end of the table with two other men, talking in low voices over a map and several documents. If it weren't for his deep red coat and black tunic, he could have blended in with the rest of the city of poor dressers.
"My lord, I've brought the barbarians.
The lord looked up. His fringe of black bangs moved back to show his face.
Izuku sucked hard through his teeth.
Tenya Iida straightened from the table.
"Gentleman," he said, just as formal and stiff as their previous life. "Thank you for acquiescing to speak with me. I'm afraid I must inquire about a grim matter." He paused. "By chance, have we met before?"
Katsuki pressed his thumb and forefinger to his eyes.
"God damn…"
This is what he got for being in a class of self-sacrificing idiots.