The familiar hot metal and stone smell of Eijiro filled the air. He heard Eijiro's week prrbting protests as men screamed and shot arrows. Another explosion went off somewhere, along with what he swore was the crackle of ice. He could hear Deku screeching something as well.
He closed the shutters. Finished his pants. And once he got them on and felt that they were comfortable, he decided 'screw it' and just went to bed, even as the chandelier swung and more dust fell from the ceiling. If it caved down on him, there was a canopy over the bed to maybe mitigate some of it, but that was just weak justification. Katsuki was so fed up and tired he figured at least he'd get some sleep before getting crushed to death.
He'd never been a particularly heavy sleeper, but somehow his raged fueled his melatonin and he went out despite the chaos.
He did, however, wake up to Izuku's squawbbling voice.
"You can't sleep with me, he might attack you….don't give me that look, please, you're an elemental, aren't you? Can't you just, I don't know, do your spirit-phase-thingy?...Alright fine, but you have to be on the edge."
And then too much muscle and nerd stink got way to close.
Katsuki wrinkled his nose and growled, not yet able to open his eyes.
"It's just me, Kaachan."
"Move 'fa-way."
"I can't believe you just went to bed. Eijiro's chained down in the courtyard now, you know."
"Just desserts."
"You're so mean."
Katsuki turned over, did his best to ignore another body was touching him, and went back to sleep.
When he woke up he had a freaking Deku snuggled up to his back.
It wasn't that it hadn't happened before. They'd had plenty of sleepovers as kids and you couldn't control what your body did at night. But god damn if it wasn't gay.
He oozed out of the bed, grumbling low like chunky magma, and squinted at the lines of sunlight squeezing through the cracks of the window shutters.
His stomach growled. He scraped sleep-dust out of his eyes, scratched his crotch, did a roll on the floor in protest at being alive, then finally got up and stumbled to where he'd left the cloak on the floor. After considering it for a moment, he put it on. It was like it had been made for a hobbit. But at least he wouldn't get so many complaints about his chest being bare.
As he shoved on his shoes, he happened to glance back over at the bed only to freeze as he met a all too familiar monochromatic gaze.
Shouto Todoroki, just as bare chested as him, watched him like the freaking flat, doll creep he was. His white and red hair was just as ridiculous looking as it had been in their pass life, and he looked no older than them at fifteen.
Katsuki scowled at him.
"What you looking at?"
The guy blinked, slow and lazy, like a cat.
Then he faded out of existence as though he'd never been there.
Katsuki stared. Then realized he didn't care and shoved on his last boot.
Stupid, fucking magical world proving that his at home education was lacking every day. What was next? Fucking elves? The cookie-making, parasite-in-a-tree kind or the tall skinny ones that thought they were all that?
No-no, he mustn't jinx himself. And his mom had laughed at him when he'd asked about them. So no, they didn't exist, along with dwarves and all that schmuck. Right. He knew that.
God, he had to pee.
He stepped out the door to find a maid, waiting for him, like a creep.
Sadly, she wasn't the ginger with the fine ass, but some middle aged woman who didn't so much as blink as he loomed over her.
"Where do you people shit?"
She pointed past him to a bucket on the floor. A god damn bucket. Like a prisoner in a cell.
He sneered, then ran a hand down his face again.
"You people," he looked at her. "Are disgusting. At least dig a freaking pit."
She just blinked at him, then asked, "Will you be having breakfast, Sir Katsuki."
"Yeah. Where do I go for that? The kennel?"
Her eye twitched. "I'll inform Lord Iida to meet you in the dinning hall. That would be the main hall that lets out into the courtyard. I'm sure you walked through it when you first came here."
"Yeah. Thanks."
Now to find a proper toilet.
The dinky, two leveled castled turned out to have way more twists and turns on the inside than Katsuki expected. By the time he found his way to the back door to the hunting grounds, his bladder was fit to burst and he'd probably terrified half the castle with his regular morning scowl and heavy walk. He found a tree, did his business, and then stomped back to find his way to the dining hall, wishing he had figured out how to make hand sanitizer instead of freaking gunpowder. At this rate, he and Izuku really would catch the plague.
Toaster wanted for him at one of the grand tables in the grand hall, with plates full of food spread before them. He smiled and gave a nod at seeing Katsuki, but Katsuki didn't nod back, to hell with smiling. It was too early for that.
The food was about what Katsuki had expected. Rough bread, some fried eggs, a few strips of bacon, and a plate of apples and pears.
Iida picked up a glass bottle, poured it into a wooden goblet, and handed it to Izuku. "Did you sleep well, Sir Katsuki?"
"Hn."
Katsuki sniffed the pale liquid and took a sip to affirm it was some kind of wine. Then he poured it on his hands.
Iida stared.
There happened to be a napkin nearby and Katsuki used it to dry off. Bam, hand sanitizer, as close as he was going to get.
"Is…that a tradition…in your tribe?"
"Sure." He grabbed a fork and wrinkled his nose at it. Damn, even their silverware was too small. "Do you lot starve most of your lives or something?"
Iida looked rightly bemused. "What?"
"Why the hell are you all so small?"
"I fear, Sir Katsuki, that it is you who are larger. Barbarians are legendary for being so."
"That's shit. Izuku came from the forest and he ain't a midget. What do you feed your kids?"
Iida gestured at the table. "Food, hopefully."
Katsuki snorted. "Obviously not enough." Then shoved his first mouthful of bacon. Got to go with the best first, eh? Though his father's bacon had been a million times better, even if it was goat bacon.
"Well, we do try, but we can only cut down so much of the forest for farmland without angering the inhabitants, and foraging can only glen so much. We don't starve, but we aren't stuffing ourselves if that's what you are implying we should do."
Katsuki swallowed, then stabbed and hung up a far too rubbery egg.
"Protein," he said, as though to a three-year-old. "Meat. Eggs. Beans. Builds muscles. And milk. Builds bones." He stuffed the egg into his mouth. Best not to be picky or he might as well shrink like these bastards. "Don't you have cows? Goats?"
"I-well-animals need a lot of land as well. And with the taxes…"
"You pay your taxes in cows?"
"If we don't have money, yes. That's what's required."
Katsuki looked down at the heaps of breakfast before him, then back up at the Toaster.
"Should I feel guilty?"
Iida looked alarmed. "No! No, of course not, eat as much as you need!"
But even as Katsuki cautiously took another bite of bacon, followed by half a loaf of bread, Iida only chewed a peace of toast topped with what looked like to be apricot preserves.
"You already ate or something?" asked Katsuki.
"Yes. I get up at dawn to train."
Katsuki snorted. "Obviously it's not enough." He pushed over some of the rubbery eggs-like hell he'd share the bacon. "If you want muscles you need to eat what I said. If you don't got meat, get eggs and beans. You grow beans, don't you? Not the green kind."
Iida scowled at him. "I know basic nutrition, Sir Katsuki."
"Obviously not, if your entire body is as thick as my bicep."
Iida eyed Katsuki said bicep, looking not at all pleased by what he saw, but he accepted the plate of rubber-eggs and popped one into his mouth-with a fork, of course. Using one's fingers was just not proper manners.
Katsuki had just about had his fill when Izuky stumbled into the great hall, shoulders slumped and eyes only half opened. Behind him followed Todoroki, who left wisps of ghostly flame and ice wherever he stepped. He'd somehow acquired a simple white tunic, tied about the middle with a blue sash, and dark brown pants and boots. Even so, his footsteps didn't make a sound.
He stuck to Izuku's side like clingy girlfriend.
"Hey Kaachan," Izuku yawned. "Hey Iida."
"Good Morning, Sir Izuku. Would you like some breakfast?"
"Is there any left for me after Kaachan?" he asked wryly, to which Katsuki raised an eyebrow at him. Early bird gets the worm, nerd, no need to waste energy trying to make him feel bad.
"We can always make more," said Iida. "You are our cherished guests, there is no need to worry about imposing on us."
"Unless we stick around too long and actually impose," said Katsuki wryly around a mouthful of bread. "Never fear, skinny man, we're heading off after this."
Izuku looked at Katsuki in surprise as he fwumped down besides him on the bench. "What? We didn't discuss this." Todoroki landed in the space next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched, but Izuku paid it no mind. "Where are we even going?"
"Crown mountain," said Katsuki. "Some ginger maid said we should find a village there that might no something."
Izuku gave him a flat look. "So you just believed her?"
Iida frowned. "I'm sorry, ginger? You mean she had red hair?"
"Yep." Katsuki crunched down on some apple slices. The rest of the breakfast hadn't been all the exciting, but damn if he wouldn't kill for these apples. The only kinds of fruits that grew up in the northern lands were lig figs and dates: compact, full of seeds, and with a nutty texture.
"That's…not good."
"Why's that?" said Izuku, who'd found the evidence of bacon on an empty plate and was looking at it sadly.
"We don't have any red haired maids in the castle."
Katsuki and Izuku exchanged looks.
"So a mysterious stranger," said Izuku flatly.
Katsuki shrugged. "Not like we have anything else to go off of." He pushed over the egg plate, which Iida had been kind enough to leave two eggs left.
Izuku scowled at the eggs, knowing exactly what Katsuki was doing, and grabbed a handful of apple and pear slices instead, earning him Katsuki's extra-withering glare.
"What do you know about Crown Mountain?" he asked Iida.
Iida jerked a little, probably deep in the well of 'How did an intruder get into the castle so easily and I only hear of it now?' and cleared his throat.
"Well, not much. It's southeast of here, about a week's travel to reach the first foothills and another three days to get through the pass, if it's open. It's known to have a perpetual ring of cloud rather low on its peek, thus the name 'crown.' Because of the clouds it rains quite a bit, which makes the pass rather difficult on the best of days, mud and slippery stone and all that. But if you can make it through the pass you'll reach the ocean on the otherside, which has some rather rich fishing. If we had ice magic-"
"What about a village before you get there?"
"Well, yes, but it's rather small." Iida pinched his chin and frowned. "Can't say I know anyone from there, which, now that I think about it…" But he must have dismissed that thought as he then raised his hand to call over a manservant who had been waiting at the wall. "Some more food, if you will, especially of the bacon."
"Yes, my lord."
"And could you pass the word around that I'm looking for someone from Ninyang village?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Thank you." He turned back to Katsuki and Izuku. "I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Ninyang is in a territory that, except for that small fishing bay, is mostly barren mountains so not many live there. It's not unlike the north which you hale from, if a bit wetter."
"I think people are too picky about where they live," said Katsuki as he stabbed Izuku's searching fingers with an especially squishy pear. Izuku yanked it back to flick pear guts, nose wrinkled.
"Kaachan, stop acting like a toddler. Share some apples."
"No. Get your own."
"This food is for both of us. Your being embarrassing."
"No, your being embarrassing ignoring the flaming gay man hanging on your arm and looking at you like he wants to lick your face."
Izuku blinked. Then finally turned his head to Todoroki who was, in fact, hugging his arm and staring at the side of Izuku's head. When their eyes met, their noses a bare inch apart, he gave the smallest smile and an extra fwoom of ghostly flame poofed out of his red right side.
Pink brushed across Izuku's freckles.
"Um, Todoroki-"
"Shouto." It was the first time Katsuki had heard him speak and he was faintly surprised it came out sounding like a normal voice. He'd been fully expecting some phantom echo with all the, you know, light floaty magic puffing shit.
Izuku decided to skim over that. "Can you, um, give me some space?"
"But you're my master. I have to stay by your side."
"That doesn't mean we have to be touching." Izuku pushed at him, and again Katsuki was surprised that his hand actually made contact with something solid, even though Half-n-Half looked plenty of that.
Todoroki pouted-fucking pouted-as his but slid down the bench.
"But I've finally found you. I…I can't help myself."
Izuku sighed. "I know, as you told me a dozen times last night. Do you want anything to eat? Uh, do you eat?"
In answer, Todoroki reached across to the plate Katsuki had stolen and swiped up an apple.
"Hey!"
But before Katsuki could swipe it back, Todoroki had popped it into his mouth.
"Plants will do," he said. "Fruit and the like. And…" he glanced at the bread, something flashing in his freaky eyes, though he frowned as though something wasn't quite right. He still reached out and took the remaining loaf that Katsuki had so magnanimously left behind.
Iida watched this with eyebrows high with interest.
"This isn't my first time seeing an elemental, but I've never seen one so tame and willing to be seen. Usually they just become corporal to intimidate."
"What are they, like, spirits?" Katsuki asked.
"Sort of. Ochako would explain better."
"She told me they were like a manifestation of the energy between the invisible spirit world and the visible corporal world," said Izuku. "They can go to either side."
"I'm plenty corporal," said Todoroki, voice still painfully flat, although Katsuki thought it might sound a might offended. "I can touch you just fine, Master. I can do anything you need."
Katsuki scratched his head hard. Why did that have to sound so dirty? Ugh.
"What does he mean by master?" Oh please don't be what he thinks it is. If he has to travel with this dick-
"Well, sometimes elementals can become fond of a human and make a contract to lend their magic to them. That's as far as I got last night."
"And it's for life," said Todoroki.
"And you just agreed to this?" Katsuki said.
"Uh, well, it's Shouto. We were friends, weren't we?"
"We live on a prairie. He leaves fire wherever he goes. How are you going to be able to go back home with that?"
"Well, he only burns stuff when he wants to." He looked at Half-n-Half, who'd snuck closer when he wasn't looking. "Right, Shouto?"
Todoroki nodded, leaving extra poofs of flame and sparkle of frost witht he movement.
Katsuki slapped his forehead. Hard. It was like when your five-year-old came home with a stray puppy and demanded to keep it.
"Please tell me he at least remembers why he's so attached to you," he said.
"Uh, well, I think he remembers the feelings," said Izuku.
"I've been looking for something all my life," said Todoroki, unhelpfully. "And that something was Izuku. I sensed him. I found him." A stupidly familiar glower broke his usually flat expression. "And you won't take him away from me."
Katsuki rubbed his eyes hard. His fingers felt especially hot.
"Speaking of masters, shouldn't you tend to your dragon?" asked Iida.
Oh yeah. They'd had Eijiro chained up in the courtyard, hadn't they?
Izuku's eyes went wide. "Oh no, Eijiro!"
But when they went outside, the idiot was still fast asleep, and the horrific 'chains' were just a knotted up bunch on his ankle. He even had a nice little pillow of dismantled, hay stuffed shooting targets.
Well, that explained why Katsuki hadn't heard any complaining out of him.
"Where's the pink thing?" he asked.
"I think she's asleep with him?" said Izuku. "Like under his wing or something, like you were."
"Think? Dude."
"What? She can take care of herself, can't she?"
Katsuki rubbed his eyes hard again, then ran his hands down his face and considered screaming. No thought. No thought at all.
"If you were so worried about organization and keeping track of everyone, you should have come out last night and helped rather than just going to sleep," said Izuku flatly.
Todoroki was attached to his arm again, leaving little charred footsteps behind him and melting spots of frost. He was also giving Katsuki that creepy blank stare again, almost as though he was apprehensive that Katsuki might try and separate him from his 'master.'
"All I wanted to do was find a dragon and maybe blow up shit, not gather the fucking minagerie of magical creatures and horny teenagers."
"I still don't see what's your problem." Izuku frowned.
"You. You're my problem. Always have been, always will." He turned. "I'm getting my bags. Let's blow this place."
"Please, no," said Iida.
"It's just a saying," said Izuku quickly. "And we still need to find Eijiro food."
"Oh wow, thanks for volunteering." He was already at the great halls front doors.
"Kaachan, he's your dragon!"
"Who also disobeyed my direct orders to stay the fuck away but nearly crushed a castle and scared all these midgets shitless anyways. It's not like these malnourished plebs could feed him anyway."
Iida stiffened. "Please, Sir Katsuki, your assumptions are highly inappropriate!"
But Katsuki was already marching through the great hall and out of hearing range.
There was too much to think about: why the mysterious girl would bother telling them where to go, what they find, if they were just flying into a trap, how to deal with yet another unwanted add-on to his traveling group, what having a contracted elemental would mean for Izuku and, in turn, Katsuki, how the flip he was going to find himself a proper shirt…
He found their room easily enough this time and kicked it open. Probably not the nicest thing to do to a door who'd done him no wrong.
And scaring the everloving shit out of the witch atop her ladder as she tended to the magic lights int he chandelier.
Pink Cheeks shrieked as she lost her balance. Katsuki dove.
And caught her neatly in his arms. He didn't so much as puff.
"Sorry," he gruffed. Because, despite what everyone said, he wasn't THAT much of an asshole.
Then he happened to meet her eyes and felt his stomach drop.
Ochako's big brown eyes were straight up sparkling. It reminded him of the disgusting way which Half-n-Half had been oggling Izuku.
"Thank you," she said, breathlessly. "You saved me."
…well, shit, now they had to blow her up.