Origins: Travis Touchdown

Conference Room A

Slowly, Altair opened the door. Force of habit supposed the assassin. Shutting the door as gingerly behind him, he saw that…machine ROB standing there, doing nothing. On the table in front of ROB was a picture of a young man, with a few sentences inscribed underneath it. Eying the picture with a disgusted, sour expression, he growled, "This is the man you want me to recruit? He looks like a vagrant."

ROB suddenly spoke, "He is Travis Touchdown, a great assassin. Therefore you were chosen to recruit him."

Altair let a grunt of disapproval, "When you attempted to contact me on this infernal machine, I had assumed you had wanted me to recruit a family member or a member of my Order. Not some…ne'er-do-well."

"This is the recruitment you were given. I would suggest you do it with no further complaint or suffer an infraction. Mario has been quite busy, and irritating him with insubordination would not benefit you or I."

"Infraction? I make a comment about the man's style of dress and that was an infraction?"

"No. Your infraction was not responding to messages when prompted."

Altair's nose wrinkled, "Oh, you mean this infernal machine? I do not know how to use it."

"I anticipated this. Here."

After a moment of silence, the center screen, which was normally black, changed to a navy blue.

"Your watch is on Easy Mode. Just speak to it, and it will do as you command. You are needed down at the portal room."

Altair nodded, briskly leaving the room, and slowly closing the door. As he strode out of the conference area, and into the main lobby, he noticed a throng of people heading up the staircase to the bedrooms. Looking over to the front entrance, he saw several Smashers sitting around a firepit. Altair grinned, maybe he'd go join them after this. Looking up to the stairs one last time, he saw Quinn heading down the stairs, a perturbed look on his face. Immediately Altair called, "What troubles you, Quinn?"

"Don't go back up to the room dude," said the Mii Brawler

"Why?" asked Altair.

"K-Pop dance party."

"What?"

"Does Korea exist in your time?"

"No."

"Do you drink?"

"Do not ask questions you already know the answers to boy."

"I'm just saying," Quinn said, When I explain K-Pop to you, you might start."

Altair's nose wrinkled, "Is this Sans' doing?"

Quinn felt his blood run cold for a second. There was murder in the assassin's voice. Gulping down the bile in his throat, he broke the bad news.

"Yes. Him, Dante, a couple of the girls from the Phantom Thieves, Ken, Chun-Li, Saki, and Yoshi are having a rave. It's really crowded in there."

"Fortunately, I will be far away from that nonsense for a while. I've got recruitment to do."

"Ah," Quinn said, holding back a sigh of relief, "Good luck, I'll save you a spot by the fire pit."

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

Bidding his roommate farewell with a wave, Altair headed to the Portal Room.

Santa Destroy, CA, 2010

Whatever witchcraft emptied Altair on to this foreign world, they were nice enough to deposit him onto the roof, casting a quick look down to see what awaited him if he fell, he saw the building that he stood upon was grimy and made of haphazard materials.

The churches of my homeland will stand for centuries. I doubt this place will be standing a year from now.

Altair shook his head. He had to cast such errant thoughts out of his mind. He knew his mission. Wait for the target.

Minutes passed, then hours. Perhaps it was to distract from the industrial smell that polluted the air, but he couldn't help but observe the occupants of the building. Judging by people's casual state of dress, this was a building where multiple people lived. Couples fighting, people smoking what smelled like cheap opium, and a rather shady looking man occasionally knocking on doors and arguing with the people Perhaps the lord of this land? It was during one of these interactions, that he heard something roar. On some sort of angular transportation machine, his smug, vagrant target pulled onto the estate. Holding onto him was a beautiful blond woman dressed in all white. Altair's target got off of his machine to speak to the landlord.

"Mr. Redondo, I'd like a room for a while."

"Well, I'll be. Mister Assassin himself. Lucky fer you your old room is open. When I mention you, my celebrity alum, it turns people away! Guess people don't wanna sit where the golden nuggets once sat you know?"

"I've got the 500 dollars first month's rent and deposit, just give me the room you old pervert." Travis snapped, while his woman grinned impishly,

Altair frowned. That was his cue.

"Travis Touchdown! I challenge you!"

Altair jumped down from the roof, landing perfectly at Travis' feet.

"Aw, shit! This again! Touchdown you sumbitch you'd better pay me double," screamed Mister Redondo

"Deal," growled Travis.

"Goddamn, this is worse than when I owned tigers in Oaklahoma. Git 'im hot stuff," said the landlord.

"Thanks, I guess," huffed Travis, "Sylvia, get up to the room."

"Sure thing, my hero. I'll keep the bed warm," said the woman, Sylvia in a vaguely European accent, working her way towards the stairs.

It was at that point Altair drew his sword. Travis drew his sword, some sword of light, powered by machines.

"Heh, old school eh?" Travis smirked, eying the sword up and down, "Whelp, at least this'll be quick."

Each man swung their sword, clashing off of each other. Travis' expression was one of shock

"How'd that sheet metal survive that?" scoffed Travis.

"It was crafted by magic that you would not understand vagrant," hissed Altair.

"Call me that again and I'll…"

Altair took the moment of hesitation to kick Travis in the knee. The sudden impact of the blow caused Travis to fall forward, his face connecting harshly with the pavement. Altair went in for a stabbing blow, but Travis spun to his feet, kicking Altair in the hand as he did. The assassin reeled back. Travis leaped into the air, jutting forward. When he was in arm's reach, Altair twisted his arm around his back.

"You have skill boy," growled the assassin, "But you lack tact and technique. You are far too brash."

"Ha! Brash? I'll show ya brash!"

Travis spun around Altair, locking his hands to be fully extended upward, and then lifting him with a bridge to send Altair backward headfirst. Travis began to saunter over to the downed, seemingly motionless Altair, but when Travis was in striking range, Altair sliced him with a sword across the chest, slicing his shirt, but not deeply enough to draw blood.

"Hey! That's my Hanshin Tigers shirt! Do you have any idea how long I had to wait to get this shirt shithead?" whined Travis, "I got it imported from Japan and now it's ruined!"

Altair struggled to his feet, " I could've I could have easily gone for the jugular. However, assassinating you isn't my goal."

"I doubt ripping my imported shirt wasn't in the objective list today either."

Altair smirked as he got to his feet, "Even in the most trained of assassins lash out in frustration from time to time. That is not the point however. I've been sent by an association I'm involved in to give you this."

Altair hastily reached into one of his pouches and pulled out an envelope, throwing it on the ground. Travis picked up the envelope, his eyes suddenly going wide, "This crest? Are you…?"

"A member of the Super Smash Brothers? Yes. You've been invited to take part in the tournament, and the heroics we do, though why is beyond me."

"Yeah yeah, so I didn't learn how to kill people in a place that didn't even have plumbing. Get over it," moaned Travis, "Anyway, can you take me to the Smash place?"

"Should you not tell your woman where you're going?"

"Oh, right," Travis said nonchalantly, turning in the direction of the apartment Sylvia had gone into at the start of the fight, "SYLVIA! I'M GOIN' ON A JOB!"

"TAKE CARE MY HERO!" called Sylvia,

Altair rolled his eyes, before speaking into his watch, "Take us to the mansion."

And both he and Travis both disappeared.

Smash Mansion

When Altair and Travis appeared in the mansion, he saw the spawns of Bowser, the Koopalings, huddled in a circle, snickering. The lone girl, Wendy was the one that spoke up, "Oh, emm, gee, it's him."

"Yes yes, you stand in the glory of Travis Touch..."

"Not you moron, the assassin," Bowser Junior squealed, "You should see it Altair, Mama Peach is about to reem Sans and the partiers."

"Well I'm always down for a good reaming, what about you?" said Travis.

Altair grinned mischievously. The gleeful glint in his eyes sent a shiver down Travis' spine.

"A-Alright, let's go!"

Altair, Sans, and Quinn's room

The first thing Altair noticed, besides the seething Peach and horribly disappointed looking Mario, both dressed in pajamas, was that Sans room was trashed. The blonde and the orange-haired girl appeared to have faces full of whipped cream, and Yoshi appeared to be laying on the floor with a budging belly. The rest seem to be just looking guilty.

"FURTHERMORE," ranted Peach, "A PIE EATING CONTEST? AS IF THIS DANCE PARTY WASN'T A SAFETY HAZARD ENOUGH, YOU ADD DESSERT INTO IT?"

"So…,much…pie," wheezed Futaba.

"You and me both," grumbled Yoshi.

"I mean, I'll be the first to admit that this party got a bit too crazy," Dante said,

"Yeah, like, we just wanted to eat pizza in bed but the more people joined in the radder the ideas got," Sans explained,

"THAT IS NOT A DAMN EXCUSE. YOU ARE A MEMBER OF ADMINISTRATION SANS. AND YOU YOSHI, YOU'RE AN ELDER STATESMEN!" screamed Peach

"Woah, did Peach just cuss?" Ken asked the room, bewildered.

"Not the point here," hissed Mario, "Instead of enjoying the weekend, you guys just earned yourself Cruel Brawl repetitions until you can knock out one guy. Futaba, Ann, you'd better tell Joker and Akechi, they're doing yours on your behalf. If you aren't Cruel Brawling, you're in your rooms all weekend. Dismissed," said Mario as, he and Peach turned on their heels, brushing passed Altair and Travis. Suddenly Mario stopped,

"Ah, you must be Travis," said the leader of the Smash Bros.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN! I LOVE YOUR G-" Futaba said, cut off when Ann put a hand over her mouth and led her out of the room.

"So," Mario began, "You're rooming with Roy. I can take you there if you'd like."

Travis shrugged, "No problem," as he and Mario left as well.

As people began to leave the room, Yoshi announced, "No regrets, got free pie."

"Bro, same," Sans and Dante said simultaneously

After a pause, Dante said, "Well, I better get going. We should totally do this again bro."

"Yeah bro, totally," Sans agreed

Dante walked away from Sans, first helping Yoshi to his feet, and then leading him out of the room.

"Dude, you totally missed a party," said Sans to Altair.

Altair grunted his disapproval and left the room.

Outside the Smash Mansion

"Ah, you saved me a seat after all."

Quinn looked up from the campfire to see Altair standing beside him. Altair being a light stepper meant these kinds of things happened often, and Quinn had only been at the mansion a few days.

"Is the room safe?" Quinn asked.

"Yes. Peach and Mario gave him quite the talking to."

Quinn smirked, "I know, the Koopalings basically told everyone."

Now it was Altair's turn to smirk,

"Did…did you enjoy it?"

"The only thing more cathartic was accessing the Apple of Eden, the bearer of all knowledge,"

Quinn chuckled, "Well goddamn,"

Altair chuckled,. Quinn chuckled harder. Before either knew it, they were uproariously laughing. Without a word, they settled down. The two spent the rest of the night watching the fire in silence, taking in the merriment and joy that went on around them.