Round 1: Travis Touchdown vs. River City Girls

Travis' pose, dramatically unsheathing his beam katana, played on the TV in the Smashers' Box, and on the wall of jumbotrons suspended in Smash Stadium, cutting to Travis in the interview chair.

"My name's Travis Touchdown," he explained, "Three-time number one ranked United Assassins Association, and my opponents are the River City Girls."

"My research indicates you hang around the River City crew, will that play into your match with them?"

"Nah, not at all. It's not like we're super close. We just all happen to like pro wrestling so that's how we train. Plus, the two guys always look like they wanna kick my ass, which isn't new. I'm not somebody who's for everybody, not even for my own wife sometimes."

"Oh," Nikki blurted, tugging at her collar awkwardly, "Anyone you're looking forward to fighting?"

"Well, Sans, because I really enjoyed Undertale," Travis began, "And Mario because there's no bigger honor taking on someone who built the house in which you make your money,"

"Alright. Thank you for your time,"

Travis nodded, already watching an anime on his Smash Watch as he exited.

The screen belonged to the River City Girls now. Kyoko mimed hitting a baseball with a metal baseball bat, slinging the sporting equipment over her shoulder, while Misako simply flashed her custom pink spiked brass knuckles to the camera with an extended fist, both girls looking deadly serious.

"I'm Misako," said the raven-haired schoolgirl.

"And I'm Kyoko," waved the redhead, "Can I say hi to…?"

"This um…really isn't what this is," Nikki explained, sounding exasperated.

"Oh, no problem," happily chirped Kyoko, "We're the River City Girls!"

"Aren't we supposed to do that together?" snapped an irritable Misako.

"I mean, it's not required but…" Nikki began.

"We're the…" the two began, cut off by a squeaky sneeze from Kyoko.

"Okay," Misako sighed, "Let's give it another go. One…two…three"

"WE'RE THE RIVER CITY GIRLS!" They shouted together.

"Alright, now that that's done, what do you think of your opponent Travis Touchdown."

"I mean, he has cool potential," trailed off Kyoko, speaking through gritted teeth.

"You're just being nice about it," growled Misako, "I think the dude's a dork, through and through. Like we've hung out with him, but you can kinda just feel him leering at you, you know?"

"Oh I do," Nikki sighed, snapping back into professional mode, "But you train with him?"

"Yeah," excitedly nodded Kyoko, " Because he's the only one that does wrestling moves and hits people with stuff."

"Yeah," Misako agreed, rolling her eyes it's not like we're gonna get anything other than carny BS out of Incineroar."

Nikki chuckled, "Beggars can't be choosers right? So, who're you looking forward to fighting?"

"Terry, Ryu, and Ken!" cheered Kyoko, "Those guys are so cool! I think we can learn a lot from-"

"As for me," Misako interrupted, "I wanna put us up against some of the other duos. The Ice Climbers and Team Chaotix especially. Show 'em how to do it."

"Right," Nikki responded, "Thank you for your time."

Misako exited first, while Kyoko waved at the camera as she stood, only for Misako to retrieve her by the arm from off frame."

"Why couldn't we have gotten Kunio and Riki instead?" bemoaned Cranky.

"Well, River City Girls was the most recent game in this series,"

"Yeah, when this thing started two freakin' years ago."

"Two…?" 9-Volt blurted, eyes wide with shock, "Futaba, please grace us with your presence before Cranky says more inane crap."

"You're gettin' more disrespectful the longer we go. Does somebody need to powder your a-?"

"Aaaaand I'm here," Futaba interrupted, eyes wide like 9-Volt, "Anyway as much as I love a Kunio beat 'em up with the gang as much as the next gal, I love a trip to the Garden of Madness more! Put me down for Travis!"

"Alright, thanks Futaba," 9-Volt smiled, while Cranky pouted, frail arms crossed, "Let's throw it down for entrances."

Immediately, thrashing punk rock played over the speakers of Smash Stadium, much to the delight of most of the crowd. While Misako marched out without frill, a scowl etched on her face, Kyoko skipped merrily around her, occasionally leaping artfully to the side to keep up with her much more intense friend.

1! 2! 1! 2! 3! 4!
We're gonna fight you, with all our might too. Get back our boyfriends, we love them so!

"They don't seem like they'd be very in synch," condescendingly mused Cranky Kong.

"Well, don't let the vibes fool ya! When it comes to money and their boyfriends, there isn't a more well-oiled team."

"So, they all say," muttered Cranky.

Pumping their fists to the adoring crowd, another piece of music played, this one with a very familiar riff...

"It's the eye of the " 9-Volt began to sing before Cranky audibly cupped his mouth.

"Boy, do you wanna get sued?" shrieked Cranky.

"What? This is just the best song off of the No More Heroes soundtrack, Ten Tons of Titanium."

With a mighty "Vroom" Travis jetted out aboard the newly remodeled Schpeltiger motorbike, a blood-red flash streaking down the entrance ramp, coming to a stop right in front of a The River City Girls. Travis suavely stepped off. The camera cut just as Kyoko mouthed, "Fuck, that's cool" to Misako, busying itself with showing the cheering crowd instead. Then, it cut to Mills Frames.

"The following contest is a Round 1 match in the Super Smash Bros Ultimate Tournament. The winner will face Krystal in the second round. Introducing first, in the corner to my left. From the Kunio universe, They are the Crosstown Concussors Misako and Kyoko, The River City Girls!"

Kyoko waved to the cheering crowd, while Misako shadowboxed, glaring at Travis.

"And introducing next," Mills began, "From the Suda 51-verse, he is the Uncrowned Prince, he is Travis Touchdown!"

"ICHIBAN!" Travis shouted, extending his arm upward to the crowd, his fingers in the shape of the devil horns.

"Now, if the River City Girls win the coin toss, the stage will be Crosstown Skyscraper, if Travis wins, it'll be Thunder Ryu's Gym. Smashers, call it!" Mills shouted, flipping a coin into the air.

"Tails," Travis blurted.

"It's.." Mills trailed, examining the coin on the floor, "Heads!"

Travis simply frowned but nodded. Meanwhile, the River City Girls stuck their tongues out at him.

"A square arena atop a skyscraper, CTS is a great place for no-frills competition," 9-Volt explained.

"Mmhm," Cranky grumbled in agreement, "Just how I like it."

"Alright, so you know the rules by now. 2-stock, items medium. Smashers, are you ready?"

The Smashers nodded, the River City Girls and Travis Touchdown engaged in a tense staredown. In a flash, they were whisked away

Stage: Crosstown Skyscraper

Rules: 2-stock, items medium

Music: "Combatant"

Travis appeared on screen first, stepping off the Schneltiger

3

The River City Girls bolted onto the stage, baseball bat and knuckle duster primed and ready as they struck combat stances.

2

1

GO!

Travis held the handle of his beam katana in front of him as if he was going to press the button to unsheathe the laser blade. Instead, he let it fall to the floor.

"The hell are you doing?" barked Misako, a vein in her neck visible from anger.

"You wanna outwrestle me don't you?" smirked Travis, "Well, let's do it this stock. After, you can try to kick my ass all you want."

Unfastening the pink knuckle duster from her hand, she threw it aside, "Alright, you're on."

"Ooooh!" cheered Kyoko, "Can I be the referee?"

Misako sighed, rolling her eyes, "Sure, you can be the referee."

"Yay!" cheered the bubbly girl.

With that, Kyoko stood aside, while Misako and Travis put their hands out in front of them, circling the dirty skyscraper, before meeting in the middle grabbing at each other's hands. Their muscles surged as they pushed against one another, looking for leverage in the ensuing scuffle.

Suddenly, Misako's body dipped downward, the momentum carrying Travis, over her, the otaku landing straight on his behind. A look of shock transformed into a look of impressed recognition as he shrugged. Just as he did, Misako dove at him, locking his head in between her interlocked hands, cranking the neck as she did.

"Ah, a good old headlock," Cranky mused, "Nice to see the young'uns appreciating catch-as-catch-can 'rasslin'

Travis stood to his feet easily, even going as far as to lift Misako off of her feet into the air, the bullheaded girl still not relinquishing the hold. Dropping to his back sent the girl onto her back as well, withering in pain as she finally let go. Travis pressed his fists together in an effort to show off his biceps.

"C'mon bay-bay!" hooted the blue jeans-clad man.

Kyoko, who had been watching the action with an uncharacteristic sternness, knelt down, raising his hand as high as she could before slapping the mental floor.

"One!" shouted Kyoko.

From her prone position, Misako chopped the ankle, sending her opponent flat on his back, crying out in shock. As he fell, she grabbed the ankle, rolling him over, and twisting the fragile leg bone.

"Why are you counting pins! There are no pinfalls in Smash "

"You said I could be a referee," whined Kyoko.

"Speaking of which, ask this goober if he gives up," demanded Misako.

"Okay!" she kneeled, getting eye-to-eye with Travis, "WHADDYA SAY?"

Travis rolled his eyes through gritted teeth, "No!"

With that, he rolled over, using his free leg to bat Misako away from his now injured leg. Briskly jumping to his feet, he put his hands up in an offensive stance, Misako doing the same. Misako threw a kick, but in a flash, Travis had her down on the floor.

"HA! Perfect dodge bitch!" screamed Travis.

Travis had her arm hooked, while Misako had her hands interlinked, to avoid giving the much stronger man the opportunity for an armbar. Travis flipped her onto her back, as she squirmed around, looking for a way out. Squirming closer and closer to the edge of the stage, Travis relinquished the hold.

"Not about to lose a stock to maintain a guard," sighed Travis.

"So you aren't as dumb as you look," snapped Misako.

The two took fighting stances, circling each other as each contemplated their next move. Once, then twice, opposing low kicks interlocked. Travis stepped forward, snapping a huge hook kick at Misako, who ducked it, grabbing his ducked head and bringing her down once again. Despite the cranium being slammed into metal, Travis eloquently asserted his dominance, on top of the guard despite everything, and working towards an armbar.

"Nope!" Misako grunted, rolling through an attempt by Travis to get himself into position.
Without a change in expression, keeping her wrist hooked, Travis closed his legs around her neck, standing in a bridge as he twisted the girl's neck.

Tapping at first, then biting the ankle to break the hold, Travis yowled in pain. Both competitors scurried to their feet, but the prepared Misako beat Travis to the punch with a slap. Travis responded by forearming her in the jaw, which barely shook her. It was her turn now. A kick to the chest sent Travis collapsing downward.

"Eat it," screamed Misako.

She followed up with a volley of kicks one to his chest, and one to his back as the stunned Californian scrambled to a sitting position. Another kick and Travis got to his knees. Yet another, and Travis was standing now.

"C'MON!" he screamed.

Another kick. Another. Travis barely moved, as she had done earlier. Her shock allowed her to be peppered with forearm blasts. Unfortunately for him, that woke her up.

Another kick, Another kick. Travis collapsed.

"BI-" he began to scream

But a pump kick to the sitting man stopped that right in its tracks.

Grabbing the unconscious man by the waist at the back, she hoisted him to his feet, dragging the unconscious form to the edge of the arena. Just as she flashed a knowing smile to Kyoko, Travis suddenly elbowed Misako under the jaw. Before she could even get her equilibrium back. Travis had already hooked her arms behind her, hoisting her up, bridging his back, and jumping backward in the same motion.

"NANI?" squeaked Misako.

And so, to the amazement of the crowd, the commentators, and the other commentators. Travis Touchdown and Misako fell into the blast zone

The River City Girls: 1

Travis Touchdown: 1

As Kyoto disappeared, reappearing alongside Misako on their revival platform, neither woman taking their eyes off of Travis as all three jumped down from their respective platforms.

"So, you outwrestled me. Ready to stop playing games?" taunted Misako.

Wordlessly, Travis brandished the metallic hilt of his beam katana, the blue beam jutting out. Kyoko rushed forward, screaming as she executed three lightning-fast kicks.

"Dragon Feet," she announced, using the third kick to send Travis up into the air.

Misako nodded at her BFF, jumping into the air so that Travis was sitting on her shoulders. With a mighty toss, she tossed him into the ground, Travis landing on his back with a splat which caused the crowd to near-simultaneously gasped, as if a wave of sympathy pain had affected them all. As Travis staggered to his feet, Misako stepped forward, finally brandishing her spiked knucks. But, Kyoko put a hand on her shoulder, baseball bat slung over her shoulder in her other hand.

"I got this," she said, alarmingly determined.

"You sure?" asked Misako.

"Yeah! You did all this work, and we're a team. It's time for me to do my part."

With a warrior's cry, she ran towards their opponent, swinging her baseball bat as hard as she could. With the quickness of a bear trap, Travis blocked her blow. Metal and laser sparked against each other, each wielder pushing against the other. On this exchange, Travis won.

"What a pain," he cried as he slashed Kyoko with a blow wide enough to decapitate a normal being.

Luckily for the River City Girls, Kyoko wasn't normal and was only staggered. Unluckily for them, this activated the Power-Up Slot Machine.

The colors flashed on a HUD in the hilt of Travis' sword. Aesthetically mismatched pictures, from colorful depictions of fruit and vegetables to generic vector logos one could find on any slot machine.

One BAR

Two BARs.

Three BARs

"Mustang Mode Activated" proclaimed the machine.

The sword, which was as interconnected to him as his new Full Green Armor, connected to his every vein, his every bone, every muscle. Time slowed down, and, at the speed of sound, Travis carved up the unwitting pink-haired schoolgirl, hitting her with an untold number of slashes, another wide-angle killing blow only staggering her as the slot machine appeared again.

One bell.

Two bells.

Three bells.

"Blueberry Cheese Brownie Mode Activated."

The beam katana became highly charged as if Travis was holding a lightning storm. Only now did Kyoko drop. Perhaps the shock, the fear, the pain, or some combination of the three caught up to her. Either way, Misako was rushing at him, ready to clobber him with the spiked weapon in her hands. Wild, manic, and angry. Travis had to end this now, or face doom.

Firing one energy blast, catching the black-haired girl completely unaware, she was projected off stage and into the blast zone before Travis could even blind.

"GAME!"

Travis was brought to the courtyard. Throwing up the horns again, Travis shouted to the sky.

"YOUUUUUUUUTH"

"TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN WINS!"

A splash screen once again declared another victory, this time for Travis Touchdown.

Meanwhile, both River City Girls clapped for Travis, their part of the screen widening as they got approached by Mister Zero, "Tough loss out there ladies."

"I don't think so," chirped Kyoko, "We could stand to learn a lot from Travis!"

"Yeah..." huffed Misako, "Sucks to lose out on more money though."

"Even if we split the million we earned, that'll get you into that university in America you always wanted to go to right?" Kyoko encouraged in a loving, sisterly tone, throwing a hand on Misako's shoulder.

"Yeah," the other girl mumbled, "Barely,"

Flashing a peace symbol, Kyoko guided her disappointed friend up the tunnel.

Meanwhile, Rita interviewed Travis, "What amazing performance out there!"

"Thanks," said Travis rubbing the back of his neck, "And I promise you all, you ain't seen nothing yet. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have some Five Stories manga to read!"

Travis walked up the tunnel, pushing the doors open, to be greeted by the rest of his peers with applause. Dante and Sans pushed their way to the front of the crowd, embracing the otaku warrior.

"Hey man, that was some crazy shit. I hope we match up so I can give you a run for it."

"That'd be great but," Travis asked, "How're the girls holding up?"

Dante suavely pointed to another part of the room. The River City girls were in a throng of conversation.

"That Dragon Feet technique was so good! Almost looks better than my stuff," came the praising voice of Chun-Li.

"Ohmigosh that means so much coming from you," squeaked Kyoko through happy tears.

"You wanna do some baseball training?" asked Ness.

"Or we could practice some Falcon Punch training," loudly joked Captain Falcon.

"Yes! All of that yes!" nodded The River City Girls.

"It's amazing what some new perspective can do for one's perspective on friendship," Sans mused.

"What do you mean?" asked Dante and Travis simultaneously.

"Nothing," Sans winked coyly as Peach quieted the room with a 'shhh sound.

Sans and Travis reclined at the sight of the randomizer on the big TV. Dante meanwhile tensed. Casting a quick glance around the room, the randomizer seemed to have divided the room into classes. Those who had fought already, and those who had yet to fight.

"JIGGLYPUFF VERSUS PEACH," 9-Volt and Cranky enthusiastically shouted together.

The room once again burst into applause. Dedede was loudly hyping up Jigglypuff as she bounced to the center of the room. As Peach skipped to the front of the room, Daisy, Luigi, and Bowser were doing much the same.

"Jigglypuff, you're-a in Tunnel A, and Peach, you're in Tunnel B," Mario explained.

"Delightful," cheered Peach, "But baby, aren't you going to give something, you know, for good luck?"

"Um..." Mario blushed, "As an administrator, it's hardly appropriate for me to…"

"C'mon Mario," teased Jigglypuff, winking, "Everybody from every universe knows you two are dating, so just do it."

A chorus of agreement from the remaining Smashers had princess and plumber blushing even deeper.

"Well, if you insist-a," Mario laughed, shrugging.

The two locked lips almost immediately. Peach pulling away, walking down the tunnel smiling ear to ear. Jigglypuff bounced down the opposite tunnel, waving a stub goodbye as she did without turning around. The battle of The 12 and Melee was set to begin.