The Creek Is A Lie
By Shadowgate
….
It was Sunday morning at 9:30 AM. Tweek was up in Craig's room and they were both kissing.
After a minute of kissing Tweek said "the heat in your house is wonderful so I took off my pajama top. Of course, there's another reason I took off my pajama top my dear lover."
Craig pointed out "you just had a hot shower, is that it?"
Tweek replied "well aside from being warm the other reason was I want my boyfriend to put his head on my chest and listen to my heart pumping in my ribcage."
Craig smiled happily then placed his left hand on Tweek's right shoulder and wrapped his right arm around him. Tweek closed his eyes and before he knew it Craig's ear covered his heart.
Craig heard "bump-bum, bump bum" over and over again. Tweek pictured a nice beach with palm trees and focused on breathing steadily.
After a minute of listening Craig stood up with a big smile on his face.
Tweek asked "how were my lungs and heart Doctor Tucker?"
Craig answered "awesome, you weren't out of breath which is a great sign for you. You're learning to relax and your heart sounded beautiful, I mean I heard the drumbeat of life in you."
Craig leaned forward and kissed Tweek on the lips which led to 10 seconds of making out.
After that Craig took off his Terrance and Phillip t-shirt and said "hey Tweek wrap your arms around me and lean against my chest babe."
Tweek smiled and then hugged his boyfriend. A second later Craig felt his lover's head against his chest and he relaxed.
30 seconds later he heard Tweek shout with excitement "Craig I heard your heart beating."
Craig nodded and shouted "perfect!"
Later that day Clyde and Token came over to Craig's house.
Craig told them he invited them over because they were planning a cake for their three-month anniversary.
Tweek called a local grocery store and asked to speak to the bakery.
Tweek began "yes I'm calling to arrange to have a special cake made. It's for a three-month anniversary and it's for two gay ten-year-old boys. I'm one of them of course. I want the cake to be chocolate and on top I want two big round balls made of white icing." Clyde and Token laugh with their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing too loud.
Tweek went on to say "I want a big dick above the two balls and I want icing drizzle coming off the dick like it's cum."
Craig and Clyde do a high five.
Tweek suddenly became angry and snapped "what do you mean you won't do it? What do you mean you're proud to be homophobic?"
After 20 more seconds Tweek yelled "don't call me a faggot. Fuck you asshole!"
Tweek hangs up his cell phone and they all laugh but Tweek growled loud and yelled "what a fucking prick."
Craig gave him a swat on his ass and told him "calm down spaz."
Right after that the doorbell rang. Tweek and Craig went to answer it.
It was Stan and Kyle and they both looked pissed.
"Dude" Stan snapped and then he snapped again "Craig, dude!"
Craig asked, "what's the problem Stan?"
Kyle held up a picture of him and Stan kissing and then Stan answered "this is the problem."
Tweek yelled "oh my God the Korean girls did a picture of you two for their yaoi collection."
Tweek started to giggle and Stan told him "it's not funny Tweek. This is a lie."
Tweek commented "that's what the cake decorator I talked to on the phone said. That my relationship with another boy was a lie."
Craig commented "we were pushed into having a relationship with each other. Now maybe you and Kyle can be more than super best friends."
Kyle and Stan respond "no" loudly at the same time and Tweek points out "remember when we were pushed into fighting with each other last year Craig?"
Craig answered, "yes and this year we were pushed into loving each other."
Tweek said "I fear that if our love is questionable like it is with Stan and Kyle then what will happen when we turn 18? I want to get on my knees and make it real."
Craig replied "well for starters Clyde and I will always be super best friends but we've never had a gay relationship. So, I'm sure we don't have to worry. Stan and Kyle will straighten out the Korean girls. You're a good partner though when we kiss sometimes your coffee breath annoys me."
Tweek replied "It does seem a bit odd when you call me 'honey' but I guess that's because it's considered unusual for a boy to call another boy that."
Craig replied "I feel perspiration on the back of my neck every time I call you honey."
Tweek nodded and then commented "maybe we're just really good friends. Many students were skeptical when the Korean girls started doing yaoi pictures of us."
"If I may interrupt I think there's some chemistry between you but love can't be forced. Furthermore I'm a ladies man but you two look cute when you kiss" said Clyde.
Stan immediately jumped in and said "we need to call a big announcement in front of the mayor's office and address the yaoi situation."
Token and Clyde along with the two gay lovers agreed.
It was a Monday morning at South Park Elementary School. However this morning Stan was confronted by Wendy in the hallway.
"Stan Marsh I had my suspicions now the pictures are on the wall."
Stan snapped back "Kyle and I are not boyfriends. We're just best friends."
Wendy exhaled and Stan went on to say "in third grade Tweek and Craig were enemies but after the big fight they started getting along. Then the Korean girls made paintings of them engaging in homosexual acts and everyone took it seriously. That's why today after school we'll be in front of the mayor's office giving a speech."
Wendy asked "who's we?" Stan answered "me, Kyle, along with Tweek and Craig. Don't tell anyone but Tweek and Craig will announce they're just good friends. As for me and Kyle we'll just be announcing the same thing which everyone knows, we're not best friends and not lovers. "Wendy smiled and said "good luck."
Stan asked Wendy to please be in the audience for him even if it doesn't mean getting back together and Wendy agreed.
The school day went fast. Tweek and Craig took off on e-scooters and were in front of the mayor's office in no time.
The mayor was tipped off about the planned speeches and she was happy to accommodate since she knew it would bring attention. Stan and Kyle were on e-scooters and flew right behind Tweek and Craig.
Craig stood up to give the speech. All the kids from South Park Elementary School gathered.
"Attention I am Craig Thomas Tucker and I'm here to declare the Creek Yaoi is false. Korean girls fantasized about us being homo-lovers."
Tweek interrupts by saying "they finger their pussy long time!"
All the kids laughed and Craig said "thank you Tweek" and continued "while we grew closer over the past two months we've not had anal intercourse. Tweek in third grade we were enemies because we were lied to and tricked into fighting. However we later managed to get along in third grade. In fourth grade we started a fight in the hallway to prove we weren't gay but that proved ineffective. PC Principal called my dad and told him 'your son Craig got in a fight with his boyfriend."
All the people laughed and Tweek added "and after PC Principal said that to your dad over the phone you said 'Goddamn it."
Craig and Tweek both laughed and Craig put his hands on Tweek's shoulders in a strong embrace.
Tweek grabbed the microphone on the stand and said "Craig allow me to say a few words. If you are truly gay that's one thing but Craig and I were never considered feminine. Craig has always been considered dark sided because of his dark blue clothing and his ability to hold his classmates accountable for their actions. That's the top reason I'm glad to live in the same town as this kid." Tweek put his arm around Craig then further spoke "I'd also like to add that not all kids with ADHD are juvenile delinquents and not all queers are child molesters or HIV positive."
Big Gay Al yelled "go Tweek you are amazing." Mister Slave yelled "oh that was an inspiring speech" and a tear rolled down his eye.
Tweek yelled "thank you Mister Slave and Big Gay Al. Oh and let me tell you something about being gay. South Park may have grown more progressive over the past year but if you're gay you can't get a gay themed cake from your grocery store to celebrate. I know because I called and asked for a cake with a" Craig interrupts Tweek by saying "don't start that up again. Let's turn the microphone over to Stan and Kyle because they want to speak."
Things were heating up in the afternoon of South Park as Stan Marsh stepped up to the podium.
"Attention everyone most of you all know me. I'm Stan Marsh and standing beside me is Kyle Broflovski. Recently the two of us were painted as lovers by Korean students. We are super best friends but I've never stuck my dick up Kyle's ass!"
Kyle yelled out "holy shit dude!" Stan went on to say "when the Korean artists in our school exposed their pictures of Creek, Craig and Tweek in homosexual acts all the boys were suspicious. Then when they staged their explosive breakup in the library that was something. Tweek confessed it was staged. Anyhow we now face a second round of Yaoi. It is nicknamed Style and it's a myth."
Kyle yelled out "the style is a lie." Stan pointed out "Kyle and I do not promote bigotry against bisexuals, lesbians or homosexual guys. However we're standing against this because when a personal sexual fantasy doesn't stay private then it has consequences."
Stan took a big deep breath then said "also if you take a true relationship for granted there are negative consequences." Stan turned to face Wendy. He went on to say "I've had time to realize my lack of communication and attention was insensitive. Though I hope I can work my way back to a relationship with you."
Wendy calls Stan down with hand motions and he jumps off the stage to see her.
Kyle takes the microphone and says "just like you shouldn't believe everything you hear or read you shouldn't believe every picture you see. Nowadays anyone can alter a picture from that which is reality."
Kyle took a deep breath and said "Nicole I want you to know I was never in a homosexual relationship with Eric Cartman. Eric Theodore Cartman is a fat sack of shit. Eric Theodore Cartman I want to break your neck."
Eric yelled from the audience "fuck you Kyle." In the meantime, two girls in the audience were ready to hunt for two boys who just broke up.
"Millie let's remember one important thing that Stan and Kyle spoke of. If we want a relationship it must be true and we must strive for it. We can't take it for granted" Esther said.
Millie replied "damn right!" 5:30 PM that evening Kyle's cellphone rang. He saw it was Nichole and was glad he kept her number on file.
Kyle answered "hello Nichole." Nichole told him "Kyle I fully understand you're not in a gay relationship with Stan Marsh. I'm also sorry to have been misled by Eric Cartman when he told me you and him were lovers. I'll never trust his fat ass again."
Kyle replied "the first thing a new kid in South Park will learn is Eric Cartman is not trustworthy."
Nichole laughed and then told Kyle "you on the other hand were boldly honest just like Stan, Tweek, and Craig. I wish you all the best now but Token and I are back together."
Kyle told Nichole "right and I'm happy for you since you're not only honest but your relationship with Token is true."
Nichole said "thank you Kyle oh I have to go now my parents are calling me for dinner."
Kyle said "goodbye."
At 6PM Esther was walking up to the Tucker residence with confidence. She rang the doorbell and Craig answered.
"I know you just had a breakup. I'm hoping I can make a difference in your time of need."
Craig's face lit up and he said "I'll show you my room." Esther said "oh I'd like that."
At the Tweak Residence Clyde, Jason, and Token are present to oversee the emotional wellbeing of Tweek.
Clyde had his arm around him and told him "Craig will always be your friend even if the two of you are no longer romantic."
Tweek replied "I know" and that's when the doorbell rang.
Craig told Esther "I'll ask my parents if you can stay for dinner. They know Tweek and I are just good friends now."
Upon asking his parents Craig quickly had his wish granted and Esther enjoyed a pot roast dinner with the Tucker Family.
Meanwhile at Tweek's house there was another girl named Millie who was looking for romance.
Jason White told Clyde and Token "we should leave these two alone to get acquainted."
Millie told Tweek "I want to get to know you better especially after this afternoon where bold messages were sent. I want to advance upon you."
Tweek happily chirped "oh my God!"
Tucker Household
After Craig and Esther finished dinner Craig told her "now let's get back to my room." Laura yelled out "leave the door open." Thomas countered "no you can leave the door shut." Laura groaned "Thomas." Tricia just giggled and Craig rushed Esther up to his room. Once they arrived in Craig's room the door was shut and locked.
Esther told Craig "I got dressed appropriately for this visit. Now that Creek Romance has been dismissed as a fantasy of the Korean gals I am moving forward."
Craig commented "dressed appropriately? You dressed the same way you dressed for school."
Esther smiled and told Craig "I'm not wearing any underwear."
Craig yelled "shit!"
(The Next Day)
Tom was on the local nightly news and said "good evening beloved State of Colorado. In the town of South Park some parents want to ban Yaoi artwork. They claim that it's not only pornographic but it has also displayed local children engaging in homosexual acts. With me now unsurprisingly is Sheila Broflovski who always wants to ban something."
Sheila stated "well Tom the reason we want to ban this is because my son along with three other boys have been painted engaging in sexual activity. They're children for crying out loud. Furthermore when they were painted it led all of South Park Elementary School to believe they were gay lovers."
Tom said "I see and you are joined by another mother Laura Tucker whose son was also painted in a yaoi picture and she said it caused a few headaches in her family."
Laura Tucker stepped in front of the camera and said "that's right Tom and" (camera cuts out Laura.)
Tom said "oh Goddamn it we lost communication with Laura Tucker. Well in the meantime I'll show you a picture of a raccoon taking a shit in an old lady's face. Let's pull up that picture now."
(5 PM at Starks Pond.)
Tweek and Millie are on a rowboat. Millie is doing all the rowing and Tweek tells her "oh ever since my parents put me on medication it has really helped. Plus gaining a relationship with you has really made my life better. As I look up at the blue evening sky I sit here so relaxed and I'm grateful for new relationships."
Millie replied "awe Tweek that was so beautiful. Maybe you should write romantic poems."
Tweek laughed and told Millie "if I did that people would really think I was an effeminate queer."
Millie snapped "well fuck them I like seeing you both cute and sensitive."
Millie wrapped her arms around Tweek and they both began making out.
Craig and his family just got done with dinner. The doorbell rang and Craig yelled "I'll get it" then flew straight to the door as fast as his feet could take him.
When he opened the door he saw the one he expected. Esther told Craig "you answered the door fucking fast." Craig gave her a wicked smile and said "let's go up to my room fucking fast."
After watching Stripe eat, Craig decides to take him out of his cage. He let Esther hold him and Esther said "I love animals and I'm glad you do as well." Craig asked Esther "do you know what I would love? Being naked in a hot tub with you."
Tweek called Millie and told her "good news my parents are leaving to work at the coffee shop. We can go to my house and have total privacy." Millie replied "well I thought you wanted to go to the lake because it was peaceful."
Tweek shook a bit and said "well duh the goal was absolute privacy but now that my house is empty we can go there. How would you like to get in a hot bath with me?"
Millie answered "oh that'd be so comforting during the cold winter of South Park. Let's go to your house."
CRAIG'S ROOM
Craig tells Esther "Kenny McCormick gave me a box of condoms as a reward for leading him and his three stupid friends out of Peru."
Millie gets excited and tells Craig "you can stick your big one in my ass, mouth, or pussy if you're wearing a big rubber."
Craig replied "good" with a wicked look on his face.
Both boys and both girls lost their virginity that night. Craig and Esther were under the covers naked. Tweek and Millie enjoyed sex in a hot shower which is just what they needed during a winter in South Park.
The next morning at school Tweek caught up with Craig and Clyde in the hallway.
Tweek said out loud "Craig guess what! Last night I lost my virginity to Millie."
Craig turned around and said with excitement "that's great because last night I also lost my virginity to Esther."
Tweek yelled "are you serious?"
Craig answered "fuck yeah I'm fucking serious."
Craig and Tweek both hugged then went to class.
At lunch, Millie and Esther are sitting at a separate table with Tweek and Craig. At the girls' table, Bebe is daydreaming about Kyle's ass again, Wendy gets up and goes to sit with Stan at the boys' table (Cartman protests against the idea, but is told to shut up), Lola still doesn't have the courage to ask Kenny on a date, and the Korean girls are thinking up a way to get revenge on Tweek and Craig.
After school 3:15 PM the kids are flying out the doors. Tweek and Craig met up with their lover girls. Tweek said "I've got great news. My parent's business has flourished, they opened 12 new shops across Colorado." Craig smiled and said "that's fucking great Tweek." Tweek said "be at my house in half an hour and I'll have everything ready."
30 minutes later Millie was the first to arrive.
Millie told Tweek "Craig and Esther are on their way. They had to stop at Craig's house so he could make sure Tricia got home safely and secure."
Tweek nodded and told Millie "strip naked now" just before spanking her ass.
"Whoa you're a horny firecracker today Tweek!" Millie yelled!
Five minutes later Tweek and Esther arrived and they stripped naked as fast as they could to get in the tub.
Stan was staying at Kyle's house for the week and was grateful for the arrangement.
"Mrs. Broflovski I hate to say this but you might not have a chance getting Yaoi banned. The U.S. Supreme Court said that for a picture to qualify as child pornography it must be a picture of real children nude or engaging in sexual activity."
Shelia responded "oh damn and my lack of luck in getting Terrance and Phillip banned is discouraging me as well as other mothers in the community."
Suddenly the doorbell rang.
Kyle and Stan both went to answer the door. When they did they saw a Korean girl they did not know.
"Both of you boys know that school can be stressful. Furthermore it's extra stressful for Korean students who are expected to make straight A's or they dishonor their family name. Therefore we paint Yaoi Pictures to relieve our stress and have something to get off on. Tell your mothers to stop trying to ban it."
Kyle yelled "we're all expected to make good grades no matter what our heritage is. Plus these pictures are not what we want to see."
Stan added "no shit we don't want to see them. I'm trying to get back together with Wendy and make up for past mistakes. Those fucking Yaoi Pictures don't help me." The Korean girl exhaled and stormed off.
Over at Tweek's house all the double dating couples got out of the hot tub after 45 minutes of ecstasy. They all dried off and got dressed. The girls said they had to get home to do their homework and eat dinner. When all four exited the front door they saw Korean Girls looking pissed off. The Korean Girls called Millie and Esther "sluts" and after that Millie yelled "it's on you bitches!"
All of the sudden the song Don't Stop Me by Queen was heard through South Park. The big fight was on.
After fending off the Korean Girls the double daters were relieved.
Tweek blurted out "Craig it's a damn good thing you and I learned how to fight in third grade."
Craig exhaled and said "yeah."
The next day at school Craig sat with Esther at lunch and Tweek sat with Millie. It was clear that they would be dating for quite some time.
Wendy and Stan couldn't help but stand side by side and observe. Stan told Wendy "I hope that I can work my way back into a relationship with you just like Tweek and Millie have girlfriends." Wendy put her arm around Stan and said "we'll see."
Suddenly Cartman and Token entered the cafeteria screaming.
Stan yelled "what the hell is going on with you two?" Token showed a picture of him and Cartman naked together. Kyle got up out of his seat and told Token he was deeply sorry that the Korean girls drew a picture of him being romantic with Cartman.
Cartman asked "what about me? Don't I get any sympathy?"
Kyle yelled "shut up fat ass."
Cartman yelled "Goddamn it Kyle you're such an asshole."
Kyle punched Cartman in the face and Cartman tackled Kyle.
Stan told Wendy "well there was no chance of getting the Korean girls to stop painting those pictures."
Wendy replied "no shit because Kyle's mom always wants censorship through law and kids stand up to her. We did and the Korean girls are no different."
Stan pointed out "yes but at least now the most recent Yaoi picture is funny. Cartman and Token oh my God!" Stan falls over laughing.
THE END