So day 8, as promised I am catching up. So we had the big feeling reveal, so this is going to be speech heavy. Just bear with me.
As always, let me know what you think.
TW: mentions of abuse and rape
Riv Riv :)
See end of chapter for more notes
Rain fell against the window as Lena heard her balcony door open. Once they got back from Ireland, with some idea of where her sister was, Lena decided to give Kara some space and come to her when she was ready to talk about the feelings exchanged that night. Kara had been flying around the world for the last few hours, stopping off at various points to eat. She had been thinking about how this conversation was going to go. Sure she knew she loved Lena; hell, she thought she could love no one more than the witch. But something was at the back of her mind bothering her; you see, she had never been with someone physically, well at least not entirely willingly. Yes, there was Mon-el, but that seemed more of an obligation; whenever Kara didn't want to have sex, somehow, they ended up in bed together. Kara just caved and lay there; easier than fighting, she thought. And Supergirl can't be seen fighting with her partner; she has to be perfect. There was no way in the world that the Girl of Steel could be a victim. But Lena was different; Kara was sure she would ask before anything happened. She stopped that night after all when she sensed Kara was just following motions.
"Come in a stór!" Kara padded her way to sit next to the witch on the sofa, curling herself into the corner against the arm, putting a large gap between her and Lena, and keeping her gaze on the floor. Kara began fiddling with her cape in her hands, making herself as small as possible. "Kara, sweetheart, you can look. It's ok. Are you ready to talk, mo ghá?" Laoina shuffled herself over to the Kryptonian, silently asking her permission to sit next to her. She took the alien's hands in her own, stroking them gently. "Leanbh, I know that Ireland probably overwhelmed you a little, and I'm sorry for getting so lost in your beauty before having this conversation. But I need you to understand that I will never hurt you intentionally. Can you tell me what's going through that beautiful head of yours, mo rúnsearc?" Kara leaned into the embrace, trying to not cry as she thought of the answer. But this was Lena, she reminded herself; her answer didn't have to make sense to anyone other than her.
"I don't want to disappoint you. When I was with Mon-el, I never liked the physical stuff. I just slept with him out of obligation because it's what a relationship should consist of, right. You're meant to have sex with them. So I would just lay there and let him get on with it. I just want to do it right, but I don't know if I can." What came out of the alien's mouth broke the witch's heart; Lena gathered her up in her embrace, gently kissing her head and gliding her hand through those golden locks. Kara gave into the sensation and let the tears fall, clinging onto Laoina like a rock in the rapids. "Mo fhíorghrá, I'm sorry that happened to you, and I so wish I was there for you. I hope you know I would never push you to do anything you don't want to; we never have to have sex. We don't even have to kiss or make out if you don't want to. I love you, Kara, and I will do my best to show you. However, that may be." Lena continued to move her hand through Kara's hair, "Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer, or you can just nod or shake your head." The Kryptonian nodded into Lena's chest. "Do you know what Mon-el did to you was wrong?"
"He said it was what a boyfriend and girlfriend should do, and I couldn't refuse him, as I was his. So that means I can't refuse you, right?" Laoina left it silent for a while, while thinking of a reply; she so wanted to be angry. Instead, she focused her energy on the building opposite, hoping Kara wouldn't notice the glass shaking. "Oh, Kara, darling. You can refuse me whenever you want, sweetheart. What Mon-el did was rape and sexual abuse." The superhero further buried herself in the witch, pulling her as close as physically possible. "We've talked a lot, Kara. How about we go to bed, mo thaisce?" Kara looked up with some worry on her face, then looked out the window to the rain still falling. "There's no pressure to do anything, Kara. It's just that my bed is much comfier to sleep on than my sofa."
They brushed their teeth and got ready for bed. Laoina patted the mattress beside her, lifting up the covers to let Kara in. "An féidir liom póg oíche mhaith thú, a stór?" Kara nodded, letting Laoina lean in and gently place a kiss on her lips, moving back to pull her in her arms once more.
"Fear can keep us tethered. Terror can clip our wings. But trust eases pain. Hope can lighten the sky. Love makes us courageous." Heidi Thomas
Ok I know that was rather heavy, but I love writing things like this. Let's see how Laoina's and Kara's relationship develops.
Irish in this
- A stór - darling/ sweetheart
- mo ghá - my love
- Leanbh - baby
- mo rúnsearc - my secret love, used as a very romantic term
- Mo fhíorghrá - my true love
- mo thaisce - my treasure
- An féidir liom póg oíche mhaith thú, a stór? - Can I kiss you goodnight, darling?