Why can't you see me on my knees
For you, baby?
I'm fallin' down
And I need you to catch me
Oh my, my, intimacy
Is all I need from you to me
- Intimacy by alex kehm
The weeks flew by and before we knew it, spring had arrived, bringing a riot of fresh colours, making the castle around me even more endearing. The lush greenery and the warm rays of sunshine warmed me, although the faces of many of the students around me filled with worry because the O.W.L and N.E.W.T were coming up.
Severus and I have often stayed in his private quarters next to his office over the past few weeks, lying on the dark green couch in front of the log fire with little light from the chandelier candles falling upon us. His head lay relaxed on my lap, we both had books in our hands, but at some point, I had stopped reading about a new healing potion for snake bites and instead started to gently stroke his shock of black hair. And I noticed that Severus hadn't turned a page either while playing with my long hair that fell slightly over both of us.
"Is it selfish of me to want to spend as much time with you as possible? If I don't want to miss a minute with you?" he asked while slowly slipping a strand of my hair through his fingers and then looking up at me. Our eyes met and I felt an incredible tenderness in the deep black before me. I smiled back lovingly at him.
"That's a rhetorical question, isn't it?" I asked softly, leaning in to gently kiss his lips.
"I haven't given the students a lot of homework lately just so I can spend the time I normally spend correcting essays with you," I said softly, not taking my eyes off his face.
"Mmm. Just like me. I'm afraid I've softened the students by doing this. Yesterday I caught a student reading Witch Weekly in my class." Severus said bitterly while I couldn't help but smile. Reading a trash magazine in his class? Inconceivably.
"That's what comes from being too permissive, giving them too much freedom. I know why I'm strict and demanding. That's the only way they can show what they're capable of. A hard hand is essential." he explained, his eyes narrowing.
"For everyone?" I asked, now gently stroking his cheek, my eyes staying on his.
"Not everyone has a talent or deep understanding of magic. I sometimes don't know what I despise more- Students who just memorize and recite the textbooks without deep understanding, or the lazy ones who slog their essay along when there's so much more into them," he stated, grimacing in disgust at the thought of those students.
"What about those who study but sweep their talents under the rug?" I asked softly, remembering my time as a student, and saw an instant smile touch his lips. He too seemed to remember those old days.
"I think those are my favourites," Severus replied, straightening up. He took my face in his hand and stroked it before beginning to kiss my cheeks gently. I closed my eyes to his soft caresses that made my skin tingle.
We thoroughly enjoyed our last few weeks together at Hogwarts. It was beautiful, even if there was a certain sadness about my impending departure. After all, it wasn't the end of both of us. We still had enough time ahead of us.
"Peppermint drops," I said to the gargoyle, who let me through to the Headmaster's office.
"Ah Catherine. Nice that you are here.", the headmaster greeted me. As if I had a choice after his request. He wore an impressive ornate robe with a matching purple cloak that reached to the floor. Dumbledore has always liked to draw attention to his importance through his clothes.
"You've made your decision now and there's no turning back." He paused and I looked at him. I felt that he wanted me to speak, to present my thoughts to him. But I didn't do him the favour, I had learned to be more careful when it came to the headmaster. He wasn't the caring powerful but old wizard I thought he was in my childhood and youth. So, I only nodded.
"Have you finally made your decision? So, you want your successor to take your position?" he asked, eyeing me from behind his half-moon glasses.
"Yes, Professor Dumbledore. I did." I retorted, trying to infuse my voice with a determination I didn't actually feel.
"And you're sure?" he asked, his eyebrows raised slightly as if he could have detected an uncertainty in my voice or my face.
"I don't feel up to the position any longer, I'm afraid," I retorted and after a moment's silence, Dumbledore nodded with a sigh.
"Well, that's very unfortunate to hear. I got the impression you settled in well and renewed old friendships," he said and I saw a strange twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, that's right. But I don't see my life at Hogwarts. I feel like I'm needed more for my new job." I was thinking not only of my position at St Mungo's, but also of protecting Lily's boy. He was the main task.
Dumbledore looked at me silently for a while, searching my expression as if trying to find something in particular there.
"And maybe a boy with black hair and a scar on his forehead had something to do with it?" I caught my breath. Legilimency shot through my head, I had completely lost sight of practicing with Severus and now I was defenceless against the lion. I went within and gathered my strength to shield my thoughts again.
"If it were, I couldn't share it with you, Professor," I replied, closing my thoughts as the old wizard eyed me closely.
"But you know the boy was well taken care of where he lives?" he answered, and I realized he thinks I'd want to continue raising Harry Potter. He didn't see the true task from just looking into my thoughts.
"Do you have proof of that?" I asked, shocked to hear how bitter my own voice sounded. The resentment about Dumbledore's old decision clearly resonated.
"Well, I prefer to leave his relatives alone, due to their strong dislikes for our world."
"And yet a young wizard lives with them."
"He lives there because it offers him protection. A protection that not even I could offer him." Dumbledore explained in a meaningful voice, but it sounded sincere. But what magic would that be that not even Dumbledore could do? A magic protection he couldn't muster? But it shot through my head like an arrow and landed on my lips, which parted in surprise.
"Blood magic," I whisper, startled. It was something I had read about in an old book that was in Severus' library in Cokeworth. It was something I had never heard or read about before.
"Ah very good. I see you are indeed the wise witch I was promised before you arrived." Dumbledore stated, resting his head on his clasped hands.
"I can only put one and one together, Professor. But this protection continues after his stay at Hogwarts? Won't he find this school his new home?" I asked and thought of how Severus and I would gladly trade our childhood home for the walls of Hogwarts. Would Harry be any different?
"A very interesting question that we can answer when the time comes. Until then, however, the boy will remain untouched in the care of his relatives. Can you follow my explanations?"
"Yes, Professor Dumbledore," I replied, a little mockingly. I didn't like being treated like a student.
"Okay, then everything is settled. Though I was hoping you would stay and ensure his education," Dumbledore said loudly.
"I know there are enough capable professors working at Hogwarts. I don't think my absence from these ranks will be noticed." I retorted, this time eyeing Dumbledore closely, whose eyes remained on me.
"Then I wish you a fulfilling future. The gates of Hogwarts are always open to you should you consider returning. Even if it should only be short. You know, we're looking for a capable Defence Against the Dark Arts witch or wizard almost every year." He said, rising from his chair to accompany me to the stairs.
"I am afraid that my knowledge is not sufficient for this position." I tried to smile forgivingly. "I am grateful for the chance you gave me."
"You are welcome." he said with a sincere smile.
I got up and said goodbye to the headmaster. While I didn't find this conversation satisfying, I was glad he couldn't uncover our true plan. That's exactly what I had in mind as I climbed those stairs for my last interview with the Headmaster. And now, as I went back downstairs, I had to grin at the thought that many visitors here might encounter unsatisfactory conversations with the headmaster.
Severus was waiting for me around another corner. I jumped at the sight of him because I hadn't expected him and all the students were supposed to be in their dorms by this time. Even though I knew there was bound to be a victory celebration in Gryffindor Tower, since Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw head and shoulders this morning on the Quidditch pitch. However, with Ravenclaw's defeat, Slytherin now had the lead, which kept Severus in a good mood throughout the day and angered Minerva.
"Did I startle you?" It was barely more than a whisper, but his voice had the remarkable quality of piercing me nonetheless.
"A little." I said with a grin and we walked towards the dungeon together. As we did, our hands touched lightly and we both toyed with touches that looked random but weren't.
"You know the students are all in their common rooms and dormitories?" I asked quietly, wanting to hold his hand, to possess myself completely.
"What about the faculty?" Severus asked, his eyes sparkling.
"The same goes for them, I suppose," I said, looking at him.
"So, you want us to get unreasonable on your last few weeks here?" Severus asked softly, sidetracking me while I looked straight at him.
"We're about to pass the empty classroom on the first floor," my gaze roved down his slim body before pausing between the lump in his crotch as we took the final flight of stairs.
"Are you suggesting that you can't stand the few yards down into the dungeons anymore? That instead you're here and now…" he began in a deep and seductive voice, but he didn't continue because we heard a clatter, hasty footsteps, a whisper.
Severus put his finger to his mouth and told me to be quiet. I nodded and we both silently crept down a flight of stairs. We spotted a platter of cauldron cakes scattered on the floor.
Next to it, two red-haired students looked at us with open-mouthed eyes. It was often difficult for me to tell the two apart, but I now knew that it was always Fred who spoke first. George, on the other hand, looked at me pleadingly.
"Professor Snape, it's not what you think it is...it-" Fred began.
"Silence, Weasley. I'm well aware of the fact that you two are up to mischief around here after curfew. Twenty points from Gryffindor." Severus said with a smirk and I knew he was enjoying the revenge he could wreak on Gryffindor for winning the game against Ravenclaw.
"But, that's not fair. It is customary for the team that won-"
"I am addressed as Sir or Professor. And your insolence now costs you 20 points for each." Severus added with a wicked grin. I sighed, knowing I had to intervene even before the two malefactors looked at me pleadingly. I put my hand on his arm reassuringly, he jerked under my touch and narrowed his eyes at me as if just becoming aware of my presence again. Something changed his gaze.
"I think 10 points for each is enough. Today the two put in a solid performance for their side and I think they've learned their lesson and will clean up the mess here. Isn't that right, Mister Weasley?" I looked at George, who seemed the more rational of the two. He looked down at my hand, which resting on Severus' arm with an odd expression on his face.
"Yes, thank you, Professor," he agreed, nodding.
"And we will inform your Head of House about your behaviour, and she will give you both appropriate determinations." I added and now I felt Severus' cramp no longer so and I let my hand drop.
Both red-haired boys nodded guiltily.
"Then why are you still standing here like idiots? Clean this mess up and then off to your dorms. If I catch you two again, I won't overlook it as generously as your Herbology teacher." Severus said angrily.
We watched in silence as the twins cleaned everything up and took it back to the kitchen. I said goodbye so as not to draw attention to the fact that Severus and I were walking around the castle together so late while Severus handed them over to Minerva.
When Severus knocked on my door, I could still feel his anger. I let him in before carefully casting the Muffliato Charm to ensure we were not disturbed.
"You were too lenient again. We talked about the need for a hard hand. Especially when it comes to these two troublemakers. I have reason to believe they sneak around Hogwarts quite often... as if you own it. Such incredible cheek." Severus raged and angrily swung himself onto the chair in front of my fireplace.
"It was necessary. If I hadn't intervened, they might have told Minerva I was with you. You haven't, have you?" I sat down on the armrest and started brushing his hair back. I wanted to bring back the mood the two Weasleys had brought us out of. And his angry outburst didn't make him any less attractive to me. But on the contrary. I loved that roar inside him because it was up to me to calm him down and I knew exactly how I was going to do it this time. I bit my lower lip at the thought, which Severus noticed.
"No, they do not have. They were quite subdued, a bit atypical for the two of them.", he stated and now looked at my body, which was close to him.
"Then maybe we can pick up where they left off?" I breathed against the skin of his neck before pulling his head back by his dark hair and kissing him passionate while my other hand ripped his shirt off his pale skin.
Severus trembled beneath me, and since his anger hadn't abated, he pushed my head to the side, stood up with a jerk, and grabbed my body. He yanked at my dress, giving in to his hardness, exposing my breasts, now covered only by a black lace bra.
He grinned maliciously.
"Is that what you wanted?" Severus asked in a low voice.
I gasped and nodded as he studied the rise and fall of my torso. He gave a short nod as if he had a plan and I shuddered at it immediately, which made his grin widen.
He pulled me to my feet, ripped off my bra and the rest of my dress and threw it in the corner. He pinned me against the stone wall, my hands over my head. He fixed me with a flick of his wand.
"You know I hate when someone undermines my authority even if I make an exception for you!" he whispered into my face and I closed my eyes. It was exactly what I wanted. I wanted him all night long.