If the family was shocked just a few minutes ago, they were not prepared for the information that followed.
"Goddess of agriculture," said Mary. "I read that once before I went blind"
"Many pioneer families are legacies of Demeter and her allied gods, such as Pluotus, Triptolemus and Priapus"
Alfred snickered at the mention of Priapus.
"You'd think you'd never starve when you've got the goddess of farming on your side…" Ma murmured. "It all makes sense now…"
"I'm sorry, Caroline." Pa said. "I thought I'd be able to run from all that. All that Greek stuff, it just didn't make no sense with me."
"But how could gods exert power here?" asked Laura. "America is a Christian country"
"Think of lowercase-g gods as personifications of essential functions and domains of nature and civilization," said Nico.
"And besides, I'm not a 'Christian' country," said America. "I was built on the dream that people of all races, faiths and cultures can come together and build the greatest nation the world has ever seen."
"It's all making my head spin," said Carrie.
Suddenly, there was a noise outside, like the roaring of an icy cold wind. Everyone looked outside the windows.
The Dementors had returned, now supported by a host of basilisks, horrible to look at, their jaws dripping venom. Spartoi, terrifying glowing skeletons with murderous demeanors, sprouted from the ground. In the air, flying serpents circled and controlled the area in a dome around them.
The army had surrounded them while they were distracted.
On a small island in Lake Ontario, a girl moaned in boredom.
"Why did I agree to this? I could be studying for my exams with Shel right now!" said the girl.
"Well, you heard your Papa," said an elfish young man sitting near her, "He said he felt something coming and sent you here. He figured not even the camps would be safe, so he sent us here."
"With crazy Uncle Chris," muttered the girl.
"Hey, he may be crazy but I've always wanted to be on his show! Oh, man, I'd kill it if there was a challenge involving building something from scrap!"
"You can't join. You're working as an intern, remember? You hooked up all of the weird booby traps and the obstacle courses. How did you even manage to get that all done in a day?!"
The boy smiled. "Hey, I'm special like that"
"Well, you certainly got his attention. He loves your work"
"Really? I was afraid it wasn't over-the-top enough for him."
A boat blared on the horizon. "Come on," said the girl, getting up. "The campers will arrive anytime soon. This is gonna be big"
"How come?" asked the boy.
The girl rolled her eyes but smiled. "Leo, it's All Stars 2. Everybody from Seasons One to Six will return"
"Whoa, who do we got?"
The girl looked at her clipboard. "Hmm… LeShawna, Harold, Courtney, Brick, Dawn, Anne Maria, Ella, Dave, Samey, Bowie, MK and Damien"
The boy beamed. "Now THAT is an All-Stars cast!
"All the legions of Hell have come to get us!" cried Carrie.
"Hush now, my dear. God, and I guess your grandmother, will protect us," said Ma.
"We've gotta get out there and fight," said Kiku.
"Leave the spartoi to me," said Nico.
The guys rushed out while Maria kept the Ingallses safe. Nico banished a phalanx of spartoi and Dementors back to the Underworld. Japan pulled out his katana and massacred some basilisks. Alfred shot down the flying snakes.
"It don't feel right with me, sitting here while those kids risk their lives for us," complained Pa.
"You can help them," said Maria. "Children of Demeter can call upon the karpoi"
"The what?"
"Spirits of the grass. Have you ever seen little green toddler-like beings wading and running around the grass?"
"Well I'll be damned, I always thought they were either demons or my imagination"
"They're very real. And nothing makes them angrier than big bullies that attack the children of their mistress"
Pa looked around, and gave a shrill whistle. Nothing happened.
Alfred ran out of bullets. Nico was downed by a basilisk and Kiku was being surrounded by Dementors.
Then, the earth began to rumble. A burst of dirt exploded all over the fields, and an army of savage grain babies attacked the monster army, mercilessly slaughtering them, and even devouring a few Dementors that were overwhelmed by their sheer numbers.
"I knew Mr. Ingalls was powerful," murmured Nico. "He must be, only Demeter's strongest children can do that"