Chapter 13: Break

She stood there, her leg smeared with the green blood of the monsters they had just defeated. Breathing heavily from all that had happened, the stress on the mind and body, the anger giving her the will to fight.

She starred down at the corpse of the Nozuki, now at the forest floor, predators already started scavenging for what they could get, a natural cycle in a competitive environment. Godzilla didn't pay that much mind to it. He also felt a bit exhausted and breathed in and out to collect himself again.

Madison slowly sat down on his shoulder, staring blankly into their air, things had calmed down for her and the thing she had done started to hit her a bit more. As the blood started oozing down her leg, she realized the line between Titan and Human was blurrier and scarier then ever.
"What am I doing here…"

She looked down at her hand, it was red and a bruised, the blind rage she had, huffed up on so much adrenalin she didn't feel any pain at all. Now it started to burn quite a bit. Groaning a it as she moved her hand, making a palm and opening it again, feeling that pain made her also recognize other pains and similar things on her. Her ankle hurt a bit, not sprained but moving it a bit felt like there was a slightly cold sting, sweating previously from all the movement, which made her back feel sore for a bit.

A general feeling of being grossed out from herself came over her.
"I told myself I would stop doing this…I wanted to distance myself but at every moment I become this…this monster."

She grabbed her head with her hand- pain spreading through her head, once again there was this guttural feeling to her, dread set in again.
"I thought I was over this, why is it coming back?", she thought to herself, thinking she had beaten it when she told Jonah, but it's not quite as simple as that.

Kneeling down on Godzilla shoulder she groaned, shaking her head, her limbs trembling and her stomach twisting further.

"Madison are you there?"
She heard Marks voice buzzing over something on her wrist, the build in communications device. Hastily she picked it up and looked around to the HEAVs. She spotted him standing at the front window, holding the radio.
"Are you okay? We will pick you up now."
"No, wait…" She hesitated to speak, not sure what to say.
"Maddie, it's too dangerous there, we don't know what could hurt you now."
"I-I am good, y-you can't land here in the forest, the foliage is too dense. I'm saver here then anywhere else, just, give me a minute…"

She saw Marks eyes looking at her, he was thinking as well. He definitely could sense she didn't feel well, but couldn't really argue against her.
"Okay, but we need to hurry, we are running out of time, we need to get out of this forest, lets hope Godzilla is ready."
As she saw Mark go back in his seat, she turned around to Godzilla. He was catching his breath, feeling a little exhausted, the sickness within burning his energy ever faster down the more he fights.

He looked at the dead Nozuki, they would have many nutrients and energy, radiation and otherwise he could need soon. So, he reached down with his hand picked up the dead one, Madison holding on and being a bit confused, she had never seen him eat another animal before, only the honey combs from back on Skull Island.

He didn't hesitate and bit down in the neck, where the membranes just started, tearing through flesh and making an unnerving crunch sound as he crushed down on the spine. Severing it as he ripped the head off. Letting the head fall down back to the ground where the other predators already waited. The meat inside was a greenish color, more reddish seemed to have been the muscles. Godzilla took a bite into it, tearing a huge junk of flesh out of it while also trying to suck out a lot of blood. It would have everything he needed to continue with the journey.

The meat was gammy, yet still quite fatty. It had a strong, oily after taste when he swallowed the bite down his throat. Not really savoring it or anything, just consuming to gain energy, simply as that.

As he was eating a bit more, Madison was just sitting there on his shoulder. She recalled the many fights the past, days? The memory became spotty, it didn't feel like something that had actually happened, more like a dreamed up story. Within the fights it felt like she was losing control of herself as a human, and more and more the Titan within her was coming out. She hated to admit it, that she enjoyed it, feeling the rush of adrenalin. In a weird twist, it made her feel ashamed, feeling like she only fought for that and not to protect the people close to her.

Once again now that feeling came up, being pushed into a box of uncomfortable and hard decisions. She thinks backs to moments she found critical, like staying with her mom instead of her dad, even if she wasn't really the one to decide that, feeling like she has gone too far or done something wrong herself and wanting to turn back at any second and trying to do undo what has been done, yet unable to do so, because the wheels of time had spun for too long. So, she sits there, unable to change, just trying in her mind to go back to usually, when it really was spreading itself all over the place and made her anxious and nervous about things that she shouldn't need to but it's not that easy with these sort of emotions.

Godzilla was finishing his snack and wiped the green blood form his lips, shaking himself slightly, just enough so Madison wouldn't fall off suddenly. Chuffing pleased through his nose, releasing some hot air, making a slight low growl he looked forward into the forest, it was very dense, but he could follow a path that would take them further to where they needed to be.

For now no danger should befall them, since most predators were either attracted to the smell of fresh blood, or were taking there distance after such a big one like him appeared.

Refueled with a bit of energy he wandered on, the forest floor shaking ever more, with the remaining HEAVs following him for this mission. The forest becoming denser with every step, vines covering the trees more, the sound of what sounded somewhat like cicada getting more intense in the undergrowth, interrupted but whatever other creatures was calling out or roaring, for whatever reason.

Meanwhile Chen was trying to gather more data, being head of the archive this new information coming to live was more worth then gold. But she noticed that Marks wasn't doing anything aside from starring outside the window and tapping his feet nervously. Already guessing why he was worried by now. She decided to put away her work for a minute and put her hand on his shoulder gently. Mark looked up to her, his face visibly distraught, confirming what she had guessed.

"Can we talk under 4 eyes quickly?"
She asked, Marked turned his head back to window, towards Maddie who just sat there silently on Godzillas shoulder.
"Sure…" He murmered and unbuckled his seatbelt and went to the back of the Machine with her.

They didn't speak too loudly so that Lind didn't hear what they were talking, it was much more private.
"What is it Mark, and don't try to tell me it's nothing, I know you're nervous."
"It's… not really a hard guess now is it?" Chen shook her head slight in agreement, he sighed, unsure what really to say.
"I don't know what do anymore, I feel like I have failed Maddie, she shouldn't go through all this at her age," he blamed himself for what has happened, Ilene felt worried,
"I should have done more to stop it, she should be able to live normally. A happy live without these monsters or the fighting and I couldn't give that to her."
Mark wasn't one to cry but he was getting a bit teary in his eyes. Ilene tried to comfort him and gave him a hug.

"It's okay Mark, you did everything you could for her, but this is the path we all went on now. We cannot go back and change what has happened, I wish I could change things too at times, like with my sister."
Silence once more came around them, but Mark slowly felt a bit better. Ilene let go of him. "The best you can do now is being here for her."
"What if she doesn't want that?"
"You are her father of course she would want your support." Mark looked to the front, out at the window again.

"What if one day, mine and Maddies paths go against each other…"
It was the question that had bothered him the most by now.
He knew what Madison was capable of by now and he knew that where he worked, that organization would mean nothing but trouble for her, when he wasn't already fighting for her not to get into more involved. Yet he himself still struggled, for he himself once was against the titans so much he would've had them all killed.

"That is something we all have to think about one day. But what matters is that we support her here and now in whatever way we can. Even if it's giving her some space. We are not at the ending of this all and when it comes to that moment; she will need your support a lot and even if that means to let go."

Meanwhile Madison also thought about the ending of this story for her. She had many feelings towards it, on one hand, she dreaded it. Thinking of the future was one of the scariest things to her, it kept her up at night. Things like the fact, that inevitably, she will outlive most if not all her family, her mother and younger brother are dead, she had no aunts, uncles or grandparents alive anymore either. She feared being alone, having no friends besides Abby and even then… their friendship was on a tipping point. Miki was like a parent to her, but now she had put her in danger because of her own abilities, or at least she blamed herself as such.

Of course, likely all of these worries were far in the future and none to worry for her, there were many positive aspects that should outweigh the negatives for her. But it's not that simple, it's hard to think of the positive aspects of ones live when drowning in danger and intrusive thoughts like this, they can take up your mind and make you think of nothing else really, making you blind for the positive aspects, make you doubt things.

It spiraled more and more in the last days, she began thinking of her own mortality, how short her live would probably be compared to Godzilla and the rest of history.

Who will know, when she dies? Who will know what she amounts to at the end, is she even worthy of that? Will they only remember her for what wrong she has done?

The guilt from the past wearing heavy on her with those questions, she felt the anguish again from what happened.

A solution would have been to talk with someone, but whenever an opportunity did arise, she hesitated or tried to dodge it, it is not easy sometimes to talk about these things, especially with people you are close, that you want to keep near you, you fear all the possible reactions and judgments.

At times she just wanted to shut herself out of everything, even time and space itself perhaps and escape from it, to not get hurt herself and hurt others in a circle of self-loathing and lashing out. Yet still trying and yearning for having regular friends and family, to feel loved by someone else, yet feeling she wasn't deserving of such gift.

Godzilla seemed to notice that while being without injuries, something with Maddie wasn't quite right, he sensed her nervosity, just like a cat might with their owner. Feeling worried he turns his head to his right shoulder to see her, coming closer with his snout.

Madison reaches out with her hand goes over the rough skin. She isn't smiling, just blankly starring while trying to calm him down so they can move on.
"Don't worry about me, everythings fine…I'm okay." Godzilla couldn't understand the words be understood the tone, she was not being honest and he didn't like that.

His expression started too look angry, however not in sense of feeling hatred or malicious, rather with a sort of air of disappointment. What was not really what she needed right now, it made the feelings get much worse, even though she understood.

She sit back and leaned on his shoulder and they where trying to reach out to each other and have Godzilla keep walking, which would put on some pressure onto him, but otherwise they wouldn't get going.

"It's all just…too much. I feel that thing again from when we first departed after the Island, I feel uncomfortable, my anxiety and paranoia getting the better of me. Like I am in the place I want to be, but at the same time I do not, I shy away from trying to do certain things, yet do impulsive and badly thought out things that might hurt me or someone else in the now or long run. I wish I could just go back, into bed, curl up and cut myself out from everything… I am still…scared."

No reaction or impression came back from Godzilla, which she saw as her sign to keep going.

"I'm scared of whats ahead, I fear either of us, dad, you, Ilene, might die, and that I'm going to be the be the reason why it's going to happen or that I wasn't strong to avoid it happening in the first place. I want to fight for you, for us. But yet…I don't, I would rather go ahead and put everything in a place where I can prevent everyone from going at each other yet it all keeps falling apart. Because I fear I will not be strong enough, for Jia, for Abby, for Miki, for my family and friends I love. They get hurt because I'm not strong enough, just like back then."

Now Godzilla started to share his own thought with her. It was memories from a time long gone, so far, humanity had barely made its first footsteps… and neither did he.

These memories felt much more washed out, yet the emotions behind them were stronger then everything shared between the two before. To Madison, the impressions felt like looking at an old oil painting that is constantly moving, like in stop motion, fading in an out, never being quite clear to make out, yet clear to understand.

Memories of an island came up, Skull Island? It did not quite seem like that, but the environment felt similar. There was a beach; she could feel the roughness and warmness of the sand. Then there was the impression of pain, not in a serious manner, in a playful manner.
One of the other hatchlings bit him on the neck, it was younger then him, he was the biggest in it. He was just lying around, trying to sleep and relax, while his siblings wanted to play. There were 3 in total. One Madison kinda tried to guess was probably Dagon, it was another male. The one playing with him was seemingly his sister.

They were playing, then there was the impression of something bigger, it rose from the sea, it felt similar to him in the present, but it wasn't quite the same. Out of the sea rose another, an adult, the emotions that Godzilla felt when thinking about it where very strong, it was a sense of grief and also love, but not any sort of romantic love, not it was something Madison hadn't felt since quite some time: motherly love.

This was the memory of his mother and from what she could tell; she was much like what her son would become, maybe even stronger perhaps. Once again, there were not many details to be made out, but she got the sense that his mother was quite experienced in battle and probably shared many scars, protecting her former offspring's.

This memory was of a day where the mother brought her hatchlings something to eat, it was some sort of giant shrimp looking thingy. It was a nice memory, the siblings shared their meal, slightly fighting over it as they would always, while the adult would lie down in the sand, and doze off and relax.

These were pleasant memories and together with more impressions, Madison saw what not many would have ever could, not even Serizawa; Godzillas early life and origins. Then, the mood shifted, the early years passed by and the innocence of childhood went away.

Godzilla and his siblings had grown a bit now, yet still merely being half the size of their mother. Who was now lying down, the location he doesn't quite remember anymore, but from what Madison inferred, it seemed to be some sort of valley, a small, calm valley, that would become her final resting place.

It has been so long, he does not remember anymore why she died, perhaps it was a sickness that went long extinct since, a wound from a fight, it's uncertain and can probably never be known again. However, it was premature to them, gone too early. Normally a young would have contact with their mother even far beyond leaving them and finding it's own territory. This was their biggest trial yet, as the 3 siblings parted ways and since then, Godzilla never saw them again.

He gave Madison impressions of different regions of the old world, Godzilla claiming his territory in the pacific and it's islands, including Japan, Dagon reining over a large territory in Asia and Australia right next to him, yet rarely crossing path at all, moving away the furthest their sister parts of south America.

In the early days, Godzilla mostly just slept on an island, moving when looking for food. Fighting was not happening often, he could easily deal with the smaller creatures, but against adult titans he had to yield. It angered him, frustrated him. Therefore, he began challenging them. Sometimes winning, sometimes losing, always coming back however to fight again, growing stronger after each one. From foes like giant crustaceans to even more massive monsters like Titanosaurus, until he ended up at the top in his territory.

Then something strange happened, while he was growing, so did humanity. They grew very quickly and with immense power, guided by the titans, their energy and recourses, tribes banded together and settled, settlements became villages, village's towns and towns to cities. Temples were built to honor the titans that seemed to "protect" the people, more so often by accident since the Monster did not mind the presence and would keep out more violent, dangerous ones.

Maddie could see the temple Godzilla used to live in…and more.

The look of their shared memory and mindspace started to shift, sort of how dream tend to do, but it felt completely naturally, the oil paint style changed to a sort of shadow play, something he pulled from Madisons mind, the cities and temples being outlined in black lines, thin threads connecting them. It seemed while the cities operated mostly by themselves, they had a form of alliance. Kind of like the cities of ancient Greece. People where just small black dots and he displayed them with the emotions and memories he had experienced, yet those may only be a small glimpse into it, as the memories are rough and faded here as well.

But with humanity so close to the titans now, they began to evolve themselves, a fire started by their energy. Beings, just like Madison, appeared, owning the strength and power equal to titans through the constant contact with them. While still a view in numbers comparably to the rest of the population, they ranged in the thousands across the planet.

And then came the devil.

Madison flinched, but Godzilla assured her, he needed to show her this. Memories of the first arrival of the one who is many came to mind, how he slayed lesser titans with ease and devoured them, this was where Godzilla knew one of his siblings was lost. Deep pain came upon him, but he hushed it away. But that day Godzilla also had realized that Ghidorah was not here just to eat or reproduce, he was here to conquer and destroy.

Ghidorahs minds where much more than just those of a regular animal, it was, is, something someone could describe as truly evil, and it was aware of that fact.

A three headed dragon flew over the map, unleashing dark tendril from himself that wrapped around a view of the titans and cities, dragging them away. He converted beings into his followers and gained an army for himself, to play humanity against each other, for he knew that they could defeat him together with the titans.

War broke out and tore apart the civilizations. Cities were reduced to nothing but ash and crumbles. Nothing would be left for humanity to inherit; it would be set it back many thousands of years of progress worth. Only remembered by the view-surviving titans after the defeat of Ghidorah.

Godzilla during this focused on a specific figure. It was a strong one, the feeling foremost being a sense of honor and respect. It was strong enough that the figure became clear, a man in armor appeared in their vision, forged out of a keratinous, made out of smaller titans they had beaten.

He wore a helmet, that formed a mask. Madison started to sense more to him, his presence was strong, overwhelmingly so, the will and conviction only matched by two other being in existence.

Yet, the presence she felt, wasn't projected from Godzilla, and he noticed it too. It was almost as if…

"We await you, our king, I await you, young one."

A voice spoke to them; it was deep yet calm, not aggressive yet full of conviction. It snapped Maddie and Godzilla out of the shared space. They stopped, Godzilla looking around confused and Madison trying puzzle it together. They had gone quite a bit, as they were zoned during it, now standing in front of a small, not very steep mountain range.

"That call, it is them, but… of course, just like with mom and Ishiro." It was the logical conclusion. Whoever he was, or what they were, they were the ones that were calling, sensing that their king needs aid. And the voice was stronger then ever now, they were close.

As Godzilla made sure there was no threat, he turned to Madison, seeing that she was fine. And feeling better, not as distraught anymore. "It's okay Goji, we can move on, times getting close. They are waiting."

Godzilla started climbing up the mountain before him, the HEAVS following closely.

Every step he took pushed rocks and big boulders downwards. He had the potential to tumble down again, but with a slight boost of energy and motivation, from him and Madison, he made it up with ease. Up ahead, Madison started feeling something strange and within the HEAVs, Lind noticed how some of the devices started to freak out a bit.

As Godzilla pulled himself up on top of the hill, which turned out to be a small plateau he could stand on. He walked close to the edge, curious about what was in front of him. A deep and broad valley, kilometers long in which rocks seemed to float.

The ground and top of the valley had veins that glowed purple, perhaps the origin of the energy that made the rocks float, some sort of anti gravity? The HEAVs devices played crazy within it, so extracting data was extremely difficult. Not like Chen, Mark or anyone else could think of that at the moment, as they were thoroughly astounded, jaw hitting the floor and all. Not much was said, perhaps one crewmember uttering "wow" as they were maneuvering around the rocks.

Now the question slowly rose up: how would they get around it, would that even be possible with the dimensions before them. Yet they didn't to think up an answer, as Godzilla was already approaching the edge.
An uneasy gut feeling came over Mark, but he remembered Ilenes words.

Godzilla leaned forward over the edge, Madison holding on tightly as he was putting his snout close to one of the rocks that floated, pushing it upwards. Madison was now looking at the bottom of the mountain, and felt very strange. So light, so floaty, as if the energy had grabbed itself around her. She felt the urge to lift her feet. As she tried it, she felt how gravity started getting less and less, like she was under water.

She took a deep breath and grabbed onto Godzillas skin and pushed herself upwards. As it turned out, whatever energy or gravity was at work here affected other objects as well as creatures.

Madison glided past Godzilla face, forwards into the valley. She was figuring out how to move and navigate, approaching it slowly. She thought back to some old documentaries she remembered watching as a kid about astronauts, how they would need to train many months to halfway decently navigate through the empty space.

But she didn't have that, at least she wore a fitting suit, rather then one of those big bulkie spacesuits. Recalling more, there was a line about space being both very hot and cold, here she felt just fine.

Madison felt so fun and free figuring it all out and decided to pull in her powers. The blue light build itself up again on her back, taking the shape of Godzillas dorsal plates. Just like when she tried to jump in a fight, but in much smaller quantities, she used some of the energy to propel herself forward. Diving deeper into the valley, floating over it and watching the ground, looking at the purple veins pulsating.

She wondered what this place was, was it some new undefined element or energy? Did it build itself here on earth or did come from an asteroid or was it build? A Questions that perhaps today would not be answered but perhaps in some months or years and probably not by her.

So she could move around in this weird field of energy, but what about Godzilla? She turned around to see what he was going to do but…he was gone? Madison felt very confused there for a second, until she noticed something big was moving over here and looked up, only to see Godzilla floating above her, awkwardly trying to navigate through the field of rocks.

Madison noticed that Godzilla didn't feel comfortable floating around in the anti gravity, it wasn't quite like within the water, where he was in his element, here he felt no resistance or anything. He grabbed onto bigger rocks and tried pushing himself off with them, but some he would push away himself. He growled annoyed slightly frustrated to not get a good grip on anything.

Carefully, Madison came closer to his face, he was now completely upside down. "Focus on me, everything's alright." Softly wishing over his snout, he managed to forget his frustration and the gravity of this area got him to stick on the roof of the hollow earth.

And so they looked at each other and Madison wasn't feeling so insecure and anxious anymore, they had each other, together they would find whatever place was ahead of them and finally bring this journey to an end and perhaps, grow stronger then they were before. To face the challenge that was waiting for them.

Belvera and whatever was rumbling within Kongs mind where waiting for them for they knew this would end in a fight and the victor, would be the ruler and those who are the rulers of the titans, decide the fate of them and everything else on the planet.

So...I think I must apologise to you readers, for not updating in about a year here. At least I did some other one offs and smaller thing eh... ._. I'm sorry, things just kinda changed, I lost motivation to do things for a while. Not feeling too great general mental wise ether. Had a lot of drama with other friends or people I thought I could call friends and a lot of the general Godzilla community on sites I've been using has annoyed me a lot and caused me to kinda just be very depressed at some days.
Often days I kinda just feel super exhausted and just wanna play games, which is mostly what I've been doing.
Got into Monster Hunter, played that a lot now started Street Fighter 6.
Other then that having caught my mind, the whole thing how Godzilla vs Kong turned out and how Madison was in it had already kinda dimmed my mood for the whole story and influenced it in ways I rather wish it hadn't.
I never write anything down, I have all the story beats in my mind but they change and with Alpha Blood, I had a different concept originally, much different to the GvK look alike it has become now, that I've forgotten since. In fact, I kinda forgot for some time now where I was now even going with the story and a lot of elements of it. This chapter notably may feel kinda off that way because of that fact. But I kinda think the story needs this sort of breather room between the last one (even if it is one year, yeah I'm kinda dumb like that).
What I'm saying is I'm not 100% happy with the story. I'm not gonna do a massive rewrite however, maybe in a view years. Instead I'm just going to take the whole storyline into the direction I wanted it to the whole time, and kinda wanna get done with it and have a decent time with it.
Currently crunching through the last view chapters, 14 is basically half done and I'm currently just writing the fight, 15 should be the finale unless I plan to split it into 2, and an epilogue chapter that puts a wrap around it. After that I hope to do some more stuff later this year, one offs and such. I've done one now, the Iris vs GMK Godzilla one, it's not perfect but it was done in my current shift from writing in german to english, since I think writing myself in english instead of translating leaves less room for error and perhaps be more fluent. I've planned other projects other then the mainline, I've did a bit of teaser now there with Walls of Monsters, my Attack on Titan vs Monster X story. Don't expect it to update a whole lot, that is gonna stick to a side project.

So again, I deeply apologize for not updating on anything in the past year.