Round 2

Cloud vs. Bayonetta

Cloud's arms were crossed. Bayonetta's hands were firmly on her hips, both wearing bored scowls. Neither looked particularly thrilled to be on the match graphic at the moment, or to be playing to the camera for that matter.

The footage abruptly shifted to security camera tape, labeled "Duel Tournament Afterparty," On it, Cloud wobbled, while Bayonetta stood with her arms crossed.

"Man, I miss my girl Tifa, haven't seen her since I got here," Cloud slurred, "You remind me of her, leggy, dark hair, and you…listen…you don't take shit girl, and like, I'm a feminist, and I respect that ish, ya know what I'm sayin'?"

No response came from Bayonetta, a crowd began to form.

"Lishen, babe, will you marry me? Will you be my work Tifa?"

Cloud jerked suddenly to one knee, as it cut to Bayonetta's interview from earlier today, looking deeply unamused.

"I suppose you think this is funny?" Bayonetta's question pierced the air of the room.

Nikki was completely unafraid, "I kinda do actually."

"Well I don't," snapped Bayonetta, "SOLDIER boy has been owed a beating for some time, and now that I get to do it in front of his family and friends, it's all the sweeter,"

"Look," Cloud's interview cut in, "I've tried apologizing, but she insists on settling it in the ring, which is fine by me."

"Prepare to, as the Americans say, have a cap busted in yo ass," Bayonetta spoke coyly, disappearing in a flurry of bats.

"One of the biggest feuds of this round status because of some backstage nonsense," Cranky began to rant as soon as he and 9-Volt were on screen, "What are they, American professional wrestlers?"

"Well, at least they're settling it in the ring, unlike Quinn and Sans," 9-Volt quipped

"I'm hurt and I'm old and I'm gosh darn tired and I work with gosh darn children," Cranky muttered.

"Completely unnecessary fourth wall breaking non-sequiturs aside, who're you thinking Futaba.

"Dad says vote for Cloud, cause he's an upstanding young man, and I gotta agree. Plus his Smash track record more than speaks for itself."

"Alright," 9-Volt nodded, "Let's go to entrances then!"

The classic Final Fantasy victory theme played over the speakers, to which the crowd sang along. Cloud emerged from the tunnel arm in arm with Tifa, the Fusion Sword sheathed on its magnetic holsters. On his right stood Cid Highwind. The three walked to the rest of the jingle, Cid shouting instructions in his ear as Cloud nodded, marching to the stage. Upon his journey's end, he shook hands with Cid for a final time, the blond receiving a kiss on the cheek from Tifa as his two cohorts disappeared.

Then, Fly me to the Moon (Climax Version) hit, Bayonetta strutting to the ring with hands on her hips and determination in her eyes. Like thre majority of second round matches before them,
Mills motored through the introductions with the two combatants staring each other down. The only thing that broke it was the scrolling of the stage selector, and even then, the two were giving each other very visible side eye. The stage selector finally landed on Delfino Plaza.

"Aw cripes," moaned Cranky, "Thought we'd get through this series with less than two Mario stages, much less two of 'em back to back."

"I don't know why you have such a gripe about this, but the old saying rings true, be careful what you wish for."

"Because it should be the Donkey Kong franchise with twelve stages in every Smash Tournament damn it. Without us, Mister Mustache wouldn't be half the star he is."

"And what did you do with it? Sat on it until your significantly cooler son took over,"

Cranky grumbled- something about ungrateful young people as Mills explained the rules and asked the competitors if they were ready. Both nodded stoically, not raking their eyes off the other. With that expression, they disappeared.

Stage: Delfino Plaza

Rules: 3-stock, items medium

Music: Main Theme (Super Mario 64)

3

Cloud fell after his sword, catching it just as it hit the ground.

2

A flash of light erupted from an archaic insignia, and Bayonetta stood, hands osn her hip.

1

Cloud's grip tightened around the Fusion Sword. Bayonetta stuck a herbal lollipop into her mouth.

GO!

Cloud charged. Bayonetta went up. She drifted lazily into a splits position, attempting her split-legged leg drop. However, Cloud slid underneath at the last second, forcing the witch to be carved by a Crossslash. A follow-up Triple Slash sent her off stage, but Bayo drifted back as low to Cloud's reach as she could. Even so, the subsequent Triple Slash caught the top of her head, sending her to the Blast Zone.

Cloud: 3

Bayonetta: 2

"Wow, and an almost immediate loss of stock happens again, shades of Cloud's match with Corrin last round!" 9-Volt shrieked.

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I wouldn't counter her out," announced Cranky, "All this did was piss her off."

Bayonetta was off the Revival Platform before Cloud could even blink.

"Witch Twist!" she growled.

Driving the Fusion Sword's meaty body into Bayonetta's skull was enough to disrupt any followup attacks. As soon as Cloud landed, Bayonetta was firing the guns on her heels. Cloud activated his Smash Shield, blocking and rolling past the firefight. Bayonetta parried the entirety of a Triple Slash, a sliding low kick knocking Cloud asunder. One extremely high kick knocked Cloud into the air, the other kept him there for a Witch Twist.

"See what I mean?" Cranky howled, "Look at her go!"

Another sliding kick rendered Cloud dizzy, making him a prime target for the giant fist of Bayonetta's Wicked Weaves,

"Look, an Assist Trophy has spawned. As if we needed to turn the tide on this already wild ride," wheezed an exasperated 9-Volt.

As if she had heard the commentator in the yellow helmet, Bayonetta jumped to the top platform, grabbing the rainbow colored cylinder. Cloud was quick to follow, but two consecutive Triple Slashes could not unfasten Bayonetta's grip. A kick to the nether regions later, and Bayonetta unleashed the Trophy.

"This might get unpleasant," warned the Trophy's occupant, Tiki.

The green haired girl became a gigantic white dragon. Witch Twisting the stunned SOLDIER upward, he was caught in Tiki's flames, along with a Smash Ball that had just appeared. Bayonetta smiled genuinely for the first time since she went down the tunnel today. She had the power of the Smash Ball, and her opponent was freshly in the Blast Zone.

Christmas' come early. Cheeky the flirty witch thought.

With a similar gusto to Bayonetta earlier, Cloud jumped out of the comfort of the Revival Platform immediately, slashing wildly in an attempt to spare himself her Final Smash.

"SMASHING!" Bayonetta cried.

Time slowed the world became engulfed in a purple aura…and Bayonetta's smile immediately faded. Tiki had knocked Cloud further away than the time limit to summon the Infernal Climax allowed her to travel. Not even Cloud being scorched by another jet of flames brought her out of her funk. So cross was she that she didn't notice the time limit expired just as she reached Cloud's position.
The up and down slashes of Braver scratched her skin as she was dunked into the Delfino's salty ocean. As Tiki disappeared, Cloud kicked a newly spawned Party Ball with his foot. Both waited patiently to hear the ball's jingle, Cloud crossing his arms, Bayonetta wading lazily in the water. The jingle played and the ball opened. A Poison Mushroom immediately made contact with Cloud's spiky hair, shrinking him to a nearly microscopic size.

"Oooh, fun," Bayonetta purred, an evil grin parting her lips, "For Tifa anyway."

Like the most violent shark in Hell, Bayonetta sprang from the water, landing on the platform as it flew to its next destination. Cloud managed to avoid a disinterested flurry of kicks, as well as a Wicked Weave fist that erupted from the ground.
But her patented sliding kick could not be avoided, nor a Witch Twist. Bayonetta groaned loudly as Cloud grew to normal size and launched into a series of censored curses as Cloud scooped an Assist Trophy from off the ground. In her frustration, Bayonetta let him drop, A dark orb with stars all over it slithered into the air.

"Oh this is fun," sarcastically shouted Cranky, "Let's devise a gimmick where our audience to the damn fighting tournament can't see! This is why Nintendo is losing the console war!"

The horrifying visage of nightmare appeared, roaring as the world became an unsettling dark. Even Cloud's bright neon Limit Break form got lost in the thick cloud. An explosion could be heard, and Cloud cried out as he flew into the Blast Zone.

Cloud: 2

Bayonetta: 2

As the light came back to the world, Bayonetta shoulder checked an unsuspecting Cloud. In the confusion, she grabbed him by the collar of his trenchcoat, a hook kick launching him into the air, and launched again by the same Wicked Weave uppercut technique from earlier. As Cloud fell limp, a Beam Sword appeared.

Bayonetta picked up the small blade between two fingers, her expression puckering as she examined it.

"Swords," she guffawed, "Complete filth,"

She wound back the arm that held the Sword as Cloud scrambled to his knees.

"Batter up you lush!" laughed Bayonetta

She tossed the Beam Sword, and for the second time, her face fell.

He caught the thing, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Oh you can fu-"

A barrage of blades, both Fusion and Beam, sliced her from every conceivable angle before she could even finish the thought. A crescendoing Triple Slash launching her into the Blast Zone!

Cloud: 2

Bayonetta 1

Bayonetta's trip off of the Revival Platform was much more deliberate than her other exits, a wry smile on her face.

"Do you know who I bloody am?" Bayonetta seethed.

As if on cue, the clunk of an Assist Trophy falling from the sky snapped both into new states of being. A cold, mirthless chuckle bubbled from Cloud, Bayonetta froze.

"Yeah," Cloud jumped to the Trophu, activating it.

A Metroid floated lazily out.

"The girl who's about to get her brain eaten."

Bayonetta charged forward, "OH YOU CHEEKY GIT! Y-"

The Metroid latched on. Bayonetta clawed at the jellyfish-like creature, another long string of censored curses polluting the airwaves."

"Hopefully…" Cloud began.

A duet of sword slashes rained down upon the defenseless witch.

"It'll rewire the part of your brain…"

More slashes. Cloud cocked his Beam Sword hand back.

"That holds your grudges."

The pink laser blade cut across the air, slashing Bayonetta one final time, sending her to the Blast Zone.

GAME!

In the Courtyard, Cloud spun the Fusion Sword, latching it into the magnetic holster.

"Nothing personal," he shrugged.

CLOUD WINS!

Bayonetta appeared in the loser's quadrant of the screen, her clapping pace slow and sarcastic, her eyes full of annoyance.

A quivering Mr. Zero stuck a microphone in her face.

"No," Bayonetta snapped, stomping away.

"Ugh, today's just not my day," Mister Zero sighed. "Rita, once again, the floor is yours."

"And the last champion standing advances forth! How do you feel?"

"Depends on if Bayonetta stops giving me shit about Cloudanetta," Cloud flatly stated. The Belmonts are obviously formidable opponents, but he isn't the first guy with a whip or even close to the first magic user that I've fought. Whichever one of you two comes out the other end of your family feud, I'll be waiting, and I hope you bring your a-game."

Cloud lazily strode up the tunnel. Amidst the usual applause, Bayonetta's voice could be heard.

"At the very least," came the conclusion of her rant, "I'll get to watch Cloud and one of the altar boys destroy each other."

"Give yourself more credit," Samus gruffly demanded, sliding her hand into her's, "You did great,"

"Well, if you say so," mocked Bayonetta, "You're a real sweetheart, you know that?"

Samus nodded, a grin on her face.

"Look at you, being all cocky," Bayonetta purred, "Let's see what you can do tonight,"

"How rude!" snapped Game and Watch, who had been silent since his loss.

Subject Zero rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Gotta remind Elizabeth to put on the noise canceling headphones," he said, snapping a look to the little girl, who was roughousing with the Koopalings.

"Simon Belmont and Ritcher Belmont, you are next," ROB proclaimed.

"Aye," grunted Simon, power-walking to Tunnel A.

"No good luck Gramps?" joked Ritcher, "Typical,"

With a final shrug, Ritcher mirrored Simon's power-walk to Tunnel B.